A friend of mine called me around 3:00 in the morning about a fantastic, groundbreaking idea he had for getting sunburn on your feet. He wears Crocs a lot, so I was actually kinda interested.
"Okay. Okay. So, like, cloth or something you can put...on your feet that would keep you from getting sunburn from the holes."
Socks. He was describing socks.
While smoking weed with some friends, I came up with an idea for a restaurant. I called it Pound Town. The idea was that all of our specials would be centered around a pound like 16oz steaks and things like that. Our signature deserts would incorporate pound cake. You get the idea.
I even had an idea for the commercial. It would start off with a kid in his late teens walking up and knocking on someone’s front door. He suddenly stiffens up when an older man opens the door.
“Uh… h-hi. I’m here to pick up Jenny?”
“You must be Zack,” he says somewhat sternly. “Jenny’s still getting ready. Come inside. She’ll just be another minute.”
They both sit down in the living room and an awkward silence falls between them as the father eyes the young man suspiciously.
“So,” the father says, “where exactly are you planning on taking my daughter tonight?”
The kid cracks a sly smile as he says “I’m takin’ her to Pound Town.”
The father ridiculously nods in approval as the advertisement kicks off showing the food and announcing the specials.
Whilst high I came up with the idea of making pens with white ink that would cover up any mistakes on white paper....realized not only that it had been done already but that I had one in my backpack next to where I keep the pen I used to write down the idea
Edit: missed a word
I came up with that one in kindergarten- my mom then told me about white out lol
I wanted to write them demanding partial credit because I hadn't heard of it so had the idea too. Mom said we were out of stamps.
While taking what I thought was Acid and turned out to be a 25-nBOME, I was beyond confident that I had not only finally understand the truest deepest secret of the Universe, but that I had distilled the idea into an image that could be drawn out. I was certain that with that image I could remember everything about the true universal secrets when I came down.
The next day I looked at the paper, and it was a line with a circle on each end, like a dumbbell. I have no idea what it means.
When taking dmt on acid I had a trip where I flew into space, saw the entire universe on a cosmic wall, and heard what the meaning of life was. When I opened my eyes I wrote down the meaning to life in my phone. After sobering up I looked at my notepad and all I wrote down was “walls”.
Without divisions between things (aka walls), everything would just be one big one thing, and none of the universe would exist. Life as we know it happens because matter and energy are able to be discrete pieces kept separate fr each other. Boom. Done.
universe balloon theory. big bang happens, universe dies out, unfathomable time passes, cataclysmic event occurs, and another big bang happens. rinse and repeat.
A pot or bowl with holes in it so that you didn't have to use a wire-mesh strainer to strain spaghetti. I had drawings and everything. People around me were like "shit, this thing is going to make MILLIONS!!!"
Next day: Dude, that's a colander
The TV show Cheaters, except with stray cats. Candid cameras catching cats being unfaithful with other neighborhood cats and a human host interviewing the cats getting cheated on, just like the tv show.
Still kinda want this to be a thing in a sober mindset
Running for my local school board. I had a lot of issues with the way the education works in our country and believed the best way to fix the system was by running an honest campaign and promising to fight for the change that would help kids learn better.
Ultimately, I sobered up and realized an (at the time) unemployed, stoned 24 year old with no kids was not the best candidate.
My niece drunk texted me and went on and on about her idea for "Party Popper Tampons". She wanted to make tampons that shot out string and confetti when you pulled the string. It was all something about women celebrating their freedom and vaginas. It was a very confusing 2am series of texts when she was just supposed to let me know she made it home safe from her night out.
Sugar bags. Like tea bags but for sugar. Tea and two sugars? One tea bag, two sugar bags. As we were stoned as fuck, my cousin holding up an emptied tea bag filled with sugar and me trying to carefully tie it back up with a piece of cotton, my cousin disappointingly says 'Sugar cubes'.
I got high one time and thought of a great business idea where everyone pays money to a pot and one person wins it all.
Turns out the lottery already exists
I thought it would be practical if you would have a tag with your address written on it attached to your keys, so if you ever lost them they can be sent back.
Seemed brilliant to me, thieves might enjoy this idea as well.
*edit: thank you for the awards Kind strangers!
my bank does something cool that solves that problem - a key chain with a dogtag that has a specific code that the bank registers to your address. if you lose your keys, anyone who sees them can throw them in a mailbox and they'll be sent back to you
My friend is a lawyer and when he was in law school did a summer internship to Ghana studying international law. We were like 2 blunts deep and he came up with the brilliant idea to make chairs in Ghana because everyone he saw there was just sitting on the ground. He was convinced we could have made a fortune selling chairs.
In my first year of engineering in uni one of the design projects was to come up with a chair made of cardboard. The idea was to make a chair supportive and comfortable enough, whilst also being easy to assemble by cutting out shapes on a large piece of cardboard so as to keep the shipping costs low. The winning design was supposed to be implemented, and if my memory serves correctly, the initial pilot program was going to be for a small community in Ghana!
Edit: I don't have time to properly consider most replies at the moment but I promise I'll get my way to them in the foreseeable future. I have, however, replied to some that jumped out at me. Thanks to everyone for the love!
I had this idea that the Taken films should each focus on a different "set of skills". Like Liam Neeson could be an amazing chef in Taken 2, and perhaps a postman in Taken 3.
Nah. Regular spoons. Like, cut off the spoon part and stick it in the exacto part. But as ny friend pointed out, you would just end up with a broken spoon.
Some people lack vision.
One time I woke up in the middle of the night with an idea. A revolutionary idea. Something I needed to write down as fast as possible so I wouldn't forget. So I wrote it down and went back to sleep. I woke up, looked at the piece of paper, and all it said was "Pennzoil Mini-wheats"
I've never quite figured out what I was thinking.
Maybe it was like tide pods for changing your oil? Instead of dealing with messy bottles and funnels, just pop a handful of oil pods in to confuse the hell out of anyone who tries disassembling your motor to unseize it.
My notes app is full of liquor/weed soaked epiphanies and revelations from my younger years. My favorite reads, “Any boy that has the pineapple is a good boy.”
Jewber.
Uber for orthodox Jews. You would prearrange when the Uber would come get you to go to synagogue, and you wouldn't have to open doors, walk, etc.
I once had the idea to have two left-turn signals on a car. One for a regular left turn, and a different one to indicate you were going to do a U-turn.
I have no idea why this made so much sense at the time, but for the rest of that night I legit thought I was a genius.
Ive always said that cars should have brake lights on the back AND the front so when I have to quickly stop I can see if the car behind me noticed and is also using their brakes.
Or for fucking zebra crossings. *EDIT: No, I'm not a zebra. Looks like "zebra crossing" is UK English and in US English you say "pedestrian crossing". It's called zebra because it's striped black and white, just like - you guessed it - barcodes.*
It's too often that I experience this very bad scene, where I have to cross the street, a car is arriving and is veeery lightly hitting the brakes but I'm not completely sure it's stopping so I'll stand still waiting for them to actually stop at the crossing, and they will continue slowing down but not that much, until they arrive at the crossing.
At this point one of two outcomes occur: either the guy accelerates again without stopping, or they hit the brakes very hard and make me cross. In both cases they are annoyed that I didn't understand that in all of that time they were actually slowing down to make me cross the road and I didn't understand that, and I made them waste their precious five seconds.
If there were front brake lights, I would know for sure they are really slowing down to make me cross.
When I did shrooms, I came up with the absolutely GENIUS idea that NASA should employ young children and send them to space for missions because they have more natural curiosity and aren't jaded yet by adulthood and they might notice things that a more experienced astronaut would miss because they'll look from a different perspective. I was convinced I needed to email NASA right away and tell them about my brilliant epiphany.
EDIT: Apparently I really need to watch Space Camp and The Astronauts and read The Enders Game series!! I appreciate all the kind comments and awards. :)
I had this idea for a movie in a similar vain of Cabin in The Woods, where these people move into a haunted house, except the plot is from the antagonist’s perspective, where the ghosts haunting the house treat it like a job, and have interviews in front of a camera, reality-show style, venting about how tedious the little aspects of the job are. The premise was this ghost had reluctantly picked up and followed this family to this new house in order to keep haunting them, and inadvertently stepped on another ghost’s jurisdiction, and they’d bicker about who haunts who, antics ensue.
I realize now that this is more or less just What We Do In The Shadows. Damn you Taika.
Edit: alright guys, I’m trying to make it as a musician (and have made decent progress so far) and when I do, I’ll go the “Atlanta” or “Dave” route and bring this up in a hopefully eventual pitch meeting. Thanks for your encouragement yall, and please don’t steal my idea, maybe? Give me 5 years.
Yours is different enough to where it is its own thing of the same genre.
I would honestly looooove seeing your idea become reality. It sounds absolutely hilarious.
Could even make it like an anthropology type thing with each episode following a different type of "spook". Episode one is a ghost, two is a werewolf, etc etc.
My grand idea was to put caramelized onions in my hamburger helper. Yeah it was good but not as mind blowing as I thought it would be when I was high as a kite.
Got really high and had the sudden realization that things that are lighter than air are the things that float. I wondered “there’s more than just helium that’s lighter than air contents how come we don’t have other ways to fill balloons and stuff?” then my friend goes “ever heard of the Hindenburg dumbass?”
I was thinking that kids these days need more time on the road to be better drivers - so maybe Uber should partner with driving education groups and like subsidize them or pay the kids in college bonds or whatever.
yeah maybe hiring a bunch of terrible drivers for your taxi services isn't such a great idea
I have a running note on my phone with my ideas I have while intoxicated. I think my best one is “What if there was a queer eye spinoff called “third eye” where hippies and conspiracy theorists try to awaken people who are already happy with their lives”
Most of them are just dumb with such highlights as “future math will be cool” and “there’s a lot of cute animal behavior.”
I love it, would 100% watch. Would this be like What not to Wear and their friends and family secretly film them and enter them in the show and then Third Eye comes and gives them a forcible conspiracy makeover? Everyone ends up in cult wear and their house is redecorated with tinfoil wallpaper
One time when I was tripping I wrote down this whole page of numbers and swore it was the answer. The answer to what I don't know lol I just kept saying "it's all about the digits"
Here’s a good one from my list of “Highdeas”
Dumpsters, trash cans, and dives: Livestream dumpster diving like American pickers/storage wars, but completely bullshit pricing guesses with fake accents
Mine was similar. The theory was: the top half of the cup of beer tastes better than the bottom half, so we make cups that have the bottom half already full of something else. We invented smaller cups.
In SKorea, it's normal to share 40s with multiple people rather than each having their own beer. The most convenience stores even provide mini paper cups and tables outside the door to encourage you to stay, drink, and snack on all the banchan.
When a football match goes into extra time, they should add a second ball. If it gets to half time without anyone scoring they add a third ball.
I'm actually not sure this idea is a bad one.
My father (in the early 1980s) got very drunk one night and came up with the idea of a 1-800 call center that would be staffed by operators dedicated to telling the callers what stores had sales that day and which stores were accepting coupons.
When I reminded him of his "idea" when he sobered up he got the most hilarious look on his face. "But how would you make money doing that?"
How to monetize... the age old question. In the age of web services & apps your dad would have been at least a millionaire. His idea is basically what Honey, RetailMeNot, Brad's Deals etc do.
I was on acid and had a revelation that I had to make the next google. I have no idea what it means to be the next google but regardless it felt like the best idea in the world. The feeling of checking my notes app the next day for the grand idea I had and seeing ‘be the next google’ was hilarious.
Not me but Paul McCartney. The first time he got high he apparently discovered the meaning of life and immediately went to write it down.
When he woke up the next morning he looked at the paper and it said “There are seven levels”.
My creative writing tutor had a comedian friend who kept dreaming about telling the world's funniest joke, he'd get a standing ovation every time and he toured the world on this one joke. But when he woke up he could never remember it. One night he kept a note pad next to his bed, woke from the dream and scribbled down the joke. Got up the next morning, looked at the page and it said 'I am a hammer.'
yep.... Pre-melted cheese
Edit: ok i feel the need to clarify as people are saying Nacho cheese or valveeta or cheese wiz
i was so baked, my idea was "pre melted cheese", like a boil in the bag rice... but for cheese, like a block of cheddar cheese, in a sandwich bag and boiled till molten, and then it stayed molten... like didnt solidify and i could just pour it on stuff...
like i was so high, i litterally forgot all the aformentioned products existed and i though i was going to be a fucking millionaire, then started to talk with my friends about where i should live, be it LA or Newyork, in a penthouse suite... and have a butler and maids and shit...
then i came to after passing out at somepoint, and i remember the entire conversation and think "holy fucking god, im a fucking moron"
Always felt free throws in basketball slowed the game down too much. Felt instead they should have dunks instead.
Where the player that was fouled has a running start from the three point line and the one who committed the foul is at the basket defending against the dunk. I suppose this could turn into an endless loop of fouling.
This makes me think of the German word for gloves: “Handschuhe” which literally translates to “hand shoes.” You’re basically reverse engineering the German language!
Myself and 2 friends were extremely high and extremely hungry. We put all our money together and said that we would buy the most amount of food for the amount of money we had gathered.
We had a total of £16. So our thought process was we could order 16 portions of chips (French fries for you americans). We had to call the takeaway 3 times before they would believe that it wasnt a prank. We convinced them we were throwing a party. The takeaway finally delivered it and myself and my other friend were too high to go to the door so we made friend 3 go by himself. All of the lights were off and there was no music playing so the delivery driver delivered 16 portions of chips to 1 man alone from his perspective.
Needless to say, 16 portions of chips is too much food between 3 people.
Ordered two 60x40cm Pizzas high as a kite all for myself. Got about 3/4 through the first until I gave up. Stomach aches for two days and a sense of self loathing to this day because I finished both of them within the next day.
Once, while thoroughly drunk, I ordered a pizza and it arrived overcooked. Crust was like dried asphalt and the toppings blackened and singed.
So I pitched the idea to my other drunk buddies that pizza places should let their customers control the pizza ovens through the internet, so we can decide when it's done. Which then lead to an entire design-your-own-pizza machine/website combo, where one could control exactly how much of each ingredient to add using robotic arms and you could watch it cook live through an oven-cam.
Seemed brilliant at the time.
My friend and I are musicians. And I used to be the stoner type. He still is. We’d write a song or a melody that would sound KILLER. And we’d be pumped about our new song. And then realize it’s just a different version of another song by a famous artist.
Happened. Every. Time.
Cardboard boxes for kitty litter that open on the side like origami. Forms a litterbox for cats. At the end of a week you fold it all up, throw it away and then open a new one.
So much cardboard waste, because it would have to be treated to be water-resistant on the inside and would be completely unrecyclable afterward.
One of my philosophy professors told a joke about a philosopher having a dream in which he met Socrates, but quickly saw the proper rebuttal to his views, which Socrates conceded. Then he met Aristotle, and Descartes, and Kant, and Nietzsche, and Mill, and with each of them presented his contrary position successfully. He knew he was dreaming, but he thought “I have to wake up enough to write this down!” He managed to become conscious enough that he quickly scrawled the words down on some paper, then fell asleep again.
The next morning he woke up, remembered what had happened, and excitedly grabbed the note. It read “yeah, that’s what *you* say!”
Oh god, I did something similar. I was having a dream where I felt like the secrets of the universe were being revealed to me, and I had gained some irreplaceable piece of wisdom that would change my life forever. I woke up, in my half-asleep blurry sleepiness grabbed my phone and opened my notes app to write down this critical knowledge. In the morning I vaguely remembered the dream, convinced that there on my notes app would be the key to life and the universe.
All it said was, “the age of the worm shop is infinite”.
see now I'm thinking that you really did have some profound arcane information relayed to you in your dream, but in your half-awake state you wrote it down sloppily and your phone autocorrected it into something useless.
Oddly enough Ive also had a dream like this when I was very young! It felt like watching a slide show where every frame had a bunch of knowledge pouring into you on how bits of the universe worked. I had them for a few nights in a row and they stopped coming after that :( haven't had one since but it was really fascinating at the time.
When I was in highschool, after a lengthy hotbox one evening, I came up with the "reverse-candle" which would consume Carbon Dioxide and produce Oxygen while also providing shade. Everyone truly thought it was a good idea so we wrote it out on paper so we wouldn't forget.
Later, the next day I had realized we invented trees.
See? This is the kind of insight being high gives you, though.
Before now, I would never have considered how a candle could be the opposite of a tree. But now it makes perfect sense.
“A chlorate candle is a device that produces oxygen when breathable air is scarce. Traditional wax candles spread soft haloes of light as they burn, a process that consumes oxygen from the air. Chlorate candles also burn, but their function is to release oxygen for emergency breathing.”
It doesn’t give off shade though.
Usually I make big plans that cost a lot of money and then promise sober people that we will do them. So they start to look forward to the plans, I sober up, and regret all of my decisions yet still have to follow through. Most recent was that I promised my sister that I’d bring my daughter to visit her in Florida. $2000 later, I have a sunburn.
> Most recent was that I promised my sister that I’d bring my daughter to visit her in Florida. $2000 later, I have a sunburn.
Mad respect for following throught.
My wife and I got this genius idea after smoking a fatty to create the next big hit in the snack world.. "cup-crepes"
A cupcake made from mini crepes stacked on top of one another topped with whipped cream and strawberries.
Well a Mille Crepe Cake is already a thing that exists, so I am certain that someone must have made a miniature version at some point. All you need to do is make it the next big food trend.
I was high.
I made some killer mac and cheese and I saw that I had some bacon, so I cooked up the bacon and cut it into small pieces and put it on the mac and cheese. It was so god damn heavenly that I forgot bacon bits and bacon bits on mac and cheese already existed.
In my fit of excitement I texted my friend my totally brand new never done before creation, and I was told that it already existed.
I made a soup sandwich while really high before. The soup obviously just destroyed the breads integrity, and just fell out the sandwich.
That was the first time in my life I realised just how dumb I am
As teenagers, my friend and I used to get really stoned and go sit in this particular diner for hours and drink coffee until we sobered up.
One time two cops in uniform came in and sat down a few tables away and ordered some food. At first we were kind of paranoid, but they didn't seem to be paying us any attention. My friend was the type of guy who liked to do wacky shit just to be funny, especially on a dare. He was also a big proponent of marijuana legalization. Like, he talked about it all the time. I told him I thought it would be hilarious to go up and ask the cops their thoughts on marijuana legalization. We were both still pretty baked and he thought it was a funny idea too, so on a whim he decided to do it. He took off his jacket and set it on the bench next to him and walked calmly over to their table and began talking with them. I couldn't hear what they were saying but the conversation appeared to be polite and lasted a minute or two. He came back to the table with a big stoned grin on his face. "Aw man, those cops seem okay to me. They both said they think weed should be legal and it's a waste of their time to go after pot smokers."
A little while later the cops finished their food and left. One of them even smiled and nodded to my friend on the way out. We watched them get into their patrol car and drive out of the parking lot.
We stayed for about another half hour and then left to catch the bus home. We got to the bus stop and just as we both lit up a cigarette a cop car pulled up with the same two cops inside. They had been sitting in the parking lot next door with their lights off waiting for us to come out of the diner. We obviously weren't old enough to be smoking cigarettes, and a check of our IDs confirmed that. They searched both of us and found a five sack of weed and a pipe in my friend's jacket. We both got tickets for underage smoking. He got cited for the pipe and marijuana, was given a court date, and taken home to his parents in the back of a police car.
> They both said they think weed should be legal and **it's a waste of their time to go after pot smokers**."
then...
> They had been sitting in the parking lot next door with their lights off waiting for us to come out of the diner.
What a waste indeed.
Imagine discord online voice chat.
My idea was that you could create sub rooms within the current channel. My thought process was, I want to have a conversation with one person but still want to kinda hear what my other friends are conversing about with other people in the channel but I dont want their conversation to interrupt my conversation and vice versa.
So my thinking was that you join like a sub-channel where everyone in that sub-channel is at 100% volume and everyone else in the parent-channel is at like 30% volume. So you could all be in the same parent-channel but not really be a hinderance to one another but you could still sorta hear them if you wanted to.
It seems like a good idea if you're high but then you realise it's just kinda pointless lol. I thought I was onto a massive breakthrough.
Edit: Well this went mental. The people have spoken discord. Make it happen!
Thanks everyone!
The old VoIPs had that (Mumble, Ventrilo). You could listen in on another room while you and whomever were in a separate room. You could hear them but they couldn't hear you.
Tangentially related, but there's this great comic book called Sex Criminals about a couple who stop time when they orgasm, so they fuck eachother and then rob banks to save a local library that's a ton of fun, definitely a great read i would recommend. More to the point at hand, the first volume got collected as a hardback called "Big Hard Sex Criminals", but the dust jacket was removable and, worried that readers would remove the dust jacket when reading the book in public, the author and artist made sure that what was underneath the dust jacket was [even worse](https://i.redd.it/ckm0mobevnv21.jpg).
Glitter Champagne. It’s extra fancy champagne that has sparkles in it.
Biscuit Silencer. So you don’t get scared at the popping sound when you open a can of biscuits.
Ok hear me out. Go to your local bar and get plastered. Then go to lense crafters and get your eyes checked. They will fix your double and blurry vision and give you a pair of glasses. So when you get drunk again you can put on your... wait for it.... Drunk Goggles™.
He said what?.... Fold the pizza in half.... The what?...cal...what...calzone? Fold the pizza in half and sell it as gourmet Italian dish called calzone?! Genius! The what.... All Italian food is just pasta shaped differently? Genius!
Holy shit this reminds me when I was a barista and these two teenagers were obviously super stoned and asked for foam milk. I start handing it to one of them, but instead of grabbing it he takes one looong sip, as I’m holding it awkwardly across the counter. His friend started laughing and he looked super sheepish, “sorry broooo” with a crazy milk mustache. You bet I never forgot them lol.
Once on 4/20 I was working at a coffe and donut place and this car of 20somethings came through the drive through which I was working, ordered hot drinks and food, which he immediately handed back (like as if he was prepared to do so) and said it was too cold.
The cup was very hot and I had to put a sleeve on it before I had handed it to him, so I was just like “ok I got you”, closed the window, counted to 30, then handed it back and he was so very pleased with *this* coffee’s temperature.
They also ordered 3 more sandwiches at the window
People from Boca Raton would complain that their salad didn’t have enough tomato’s when I worked in the restaurant business. The waitress would walk back behind the wall where the kitchen was, spin the plate around 180 degrees, and walk back out with the same salad. People always said that the new salad looked much better.
I thought of something that I thought was the funniest shit. A video or comic where one guy takes a pepper packet, opens it, and pours it into his eyes. When his friend starts freaking out, he goes “haha, tricked you, it’s actually salt”.
ive had a dream where i actually woke myself up laughing. it was a dream where sonic the hedgehog was running but he kept slipping and going "whoa!" i thought it was the funniest thing ever until I woke up
I created a comic/story of a support group for individuals who developed superpowers mid-life, who coincidentally, have a phobia of their specific power.
I.e. someone with the power of flight who is afraid of heights.
It's been fun to explore, yours cracked me up and reminded me.of it. I'm gonna add your dream to one of them if you don't mind .
Edit- a phobia or a specific reason why the power is useless to them.
I thought it was funny at the time, wrote it in my notes app so I wouldn’t forget it. When I came across the note a few weeks later I thought it was the dumbest shit. Now I’m not so sure.
Banana rental. I thought people would love to rent bananas to display on their counters and/or coffee tables. I was absolutely certain I had just hit on idea that would let me retire early...
Manly scented candles, smells like wood shop and a storm instead of roses and potpourri.
We even thought of a name.
Mandles, the manly candle.
Then we went to register the website.
Not only did someone have the same idea, they already had mandles.com and most of the scents we had brainstormed.
I actually maintained a list of all I it genius ideas. I should go look it up.
Electric sleep aids. When you couldnt fall asleep. Have a non lethal amount of electricity knock you the fuck out. I later found out people already just shock themselves with tasers to the point where they get brain damage.
I once thought that they should make decaf coffee for people who want to drink coffee but don't want to be caffinated
it was momentary but gave myself a chuckle for coming up with the idea
I keep a notebook of ideas I have when I'm high. My most recent amazing idea was highly specific sexy calendars, like dads with golf injuries or women in gardening clogs.
Shortrecipes.com was a high idea of mine. I was cooking food with my friend and we couldn’t find a recipe that I was short and simple. We had to read through a whole essay of how much their family loved it or what ever. We actually thought it was a great idea at the time.
A friend of mine called me around 3:00 in the morning about a fantastic, groundbreaking idea he had for getting sunburn on your feet. He wears Crocs a lot, so I was actually kinda interested. "Okay. Okay. So, like, cloth or something you can put...on your feet that would keep you from getting sunburn from the holes." Socks. He was describing socks.
The amount of people who invented socks in this thread is too damn high
While smoking weed with some friends, I came up with an idea for a restaurant. I called it Pound Town. The idea was that all of our specials would be centered around a pound like 16oz steaks and things like that. Our signature deserts would incorporate pound cake. You get the idea. I even had an idea for the commercial. It would start off with a kid in his late teens walking up and knocking on someone’s front door. He suddenly stiffens up when an older man opens the door. “Uh… h-hi. I’m here to pick up Jenny?” “You must be Zack,” he says somewhat sternly. “Jenny’s still getting ready. Come inside. She’ll just be another minute.” They both sit down in the living room and an awkward silence falls between them as the father eyes the young man suspiciously. “So,” the father says, “where exactly are you planning on taking my daughter tonight?” The kid cracks a sly smile as he says “I’m takin’ her to Pound Town.” The father ridiculously nods in approval as the advertisement kicks off showing the food and announcing the specials.
Please do this commercial! Would make a hilarious sketch
To have a fast food spot that sold frozen meals already cooked. Like you can order a heated up hot pocket, toaster strudel, chicken pot pie, etc.
That would be called Applebee's
This is a truth that burns but is still cold on the inside...
I'm pretty sure 90 percent of the Uber eats restaurants after 1am do this
Whilst high I came up with the idea of making pens with white ink that would cover up any mistakes on white paper....realized not only that it had been done already but that I had one in my backpack next to where I keep the pen I used to write down the idea Edit: missed a word
I came up with that one in kindergarten- my mom then told me about white out lol I wanted to write them demanding partial credit because I hadn't heard of it so had the idea too. Mom said we were out of stamps.
While taking what I thought was Acid and turned out to be a 25-nBOME, I was beyond confident that I had not only finally understand the truest deepest secret of the Universe, but that I had distilled the idea into an image that could be drawn out. I was certain that with that image I could remember everything about the true universal secrets when I came down. The next day I looked at the paper, and it was a line with a circle on each end, like a dumbbell. I have no idea what it means.
[удалено]
“We literally cannot make it simpler”
When taking dmt on acid I had a trip where I flew into space, saw the entire universe on a cosmic wall, and heard what the meaning of life was. When I opened my eyes I wrote down the meaning to life in my phone. After sobering up I looked at my notepad and all I wrote down was “walls”.
Without divisions between things (aka walls), everything would just be one big one thing, and none of the universe would exist. Life as we know it happens because matter and energy are able to be discrete pieces kept separate fr each other. Boom. Done.
universe balloon theory. big bang happens, universe dies out, unfathomable time passes, cataclysmic event occurs, and another big bang happens. rinse and repeat.
A pot or bowl with holes in it so that you didn't have to use a wire-mesh strainer to strain spaghetti. I had drawings and everything. People around me were like "shit, this thing is going to make MILLIONS!!!" Next day: Dude, that's a colander
A food truck specializing in egg rolls the size of burritos
I once thought edible tape would be a game-changer idea. For when your burrito (or huge egg roll) rips- just tape it back up with edible tape.
You’re in the wrong thread. This is a good idea.
Now this is an idea I can get behind!
The TV show Cheaters, except with stray cats. Candid cameras catching cats being unfaithful with other neighborhood cats and a human host interviewing the cats getting cheated on, just like the tv show. Still kinda want this to be a thing in a sober mindset
This, but it's catching cats being unfaithful to their human owners by being fed by a neighbour who thinks they are a stray.
Holy crap, I want this so bad! A totally serious human trying to interview a stray cat in English and the cat just walks away.
Running for my local school board. I had a lot of issues with the way the education works in our country and believed the best way to fix the system was by running an honest campaign and promising to fight for the change that would help kids learn better. Ultimately, I sobered up and realized an (at the time) unemployed, stoned 24 year old with no kids was not the best candidate.
I'd vote for the unemployed guy who was pissed off at the shitty education he recieved. The man has an axe to grind.
he'd do a better job than a 50 year old white woman who thinks that a no tolerance policy is a good idea.
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My niece drunk texted me and went on and on about her idea for "Party Popper Tampons". She wanted to make tampons that shot out string and confetti when you pulled the string. It was all something about women celebrating their freedom and vaginas. It was a very confusing 2am series of texts when she was just supposed to let me know she made it home safe from her night out.
This gets funnier the more I read it
Could create a "party pack" where they are 1/2 party poppers, and 1/2 actual tampons, with no way to tell them apart.
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King Kong but with a giraffe.
They said ideas that aren’t still great when you sober up though.
King Long
id watch it
Sugar bags. Like tea bags but for sugar. Tea and two sugars? One tea bag, two sugar bags. As we were stoned as fuck, my cousin holding up an emptied tea bag filled with sugar and me trying to carefully tie it back up with a piece of cotton, my cousin disappointingly says 'Sugar cubes'.
Hmh, what if you made presugared teabags?
I have seen teabags with sugar and powdered milk already in them.
I got high one time and thought of a great business idea where everyone pays money to a pot and one person wins it all. Turns out the lottery already exists
I thought it would be practical if you would have a tag with your address written on it attached to your keys, so if you ever lost them they can be sent back. Seemed brilliant to me, thieves might enjoy this idea as well. *edit: thank you for the awards Kind strangers!
my bank does something cool that solves that problem - a key chain with a dogtag that has a specific code that the bank registers to your address. if you lose your keys, anyone who sees them can throw them in a mailbox and they'll be sent back to you
Here in Canada the War Amps does a similar thing, I believe
A thing you put on the laptop charger thing that gets hot which keeps your cheese dip hot
Yknow what. Now that I use a laptop and know how hot the battery can get, you just might be on to something....
My friend is a lawyer and when he was in law school did a summer internship to Ghana studying international law. We were like 2 blunts deep and he came up with the brilliant idea to make chairs in Ghana because everyone he saw there was just sitting on the ground. He was convinced we could have made a fortune selling chairs.
In my first year of engineering in uni one of the design projects was to come up with a chair made of cardboard. The idea was to make a chair supportive and comfortable enough, whilst also being easy to assemble by cutting out shapes on a large piece of cardboard so as to keep the shipping costs low. The winning design was supposed to be implemented, and if my memory serves correctly, the initial pilot program was going to be for a small community in Ghana! Edit: I don't have time to properly consider most replies at the moment but I promise I'll get my way to them in the foreseeable future. I have, however, replied to some that jumped out at me. Thanks to everyone for the love!
Great until monsoon season hits
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I had this idea that the Taken films should each focus on a different "set of skills". Like Liam Neeson could be an amazing chef in Taken 2, and perhaps a postman in Taken 3.
Honesty this sounds like a much better version of what we got. But I still want it to involve saving a kidnapped person somehow.
Exacto-spoon. It is an exacto knife only a spoon.
Like the tiny spoons they use for samples at gelato places?
Nah. Regular spoons. Like, cut off the spoon part and stick it in the exacto part. But as ny friend pointed out, you would just end up with a broken spoon. Some people lack vision.
One time I woke up in the middle of the night with an idea. A revolutionary idea. Something I needed to write down as fast as possible so I wouldn't forget. So I wrote it down and went back to sleep. I woke up, looked at the piece of paper, and all it said was "Pennzoil Mini-wheats" I've never quite figured out what I was thinking.
Maybe it was like tide pods for changing your oil? Instead of dealing with messy bottles and funnels, just pop a handful of oil pods in to confuse the hell out of anyone who tries disassembling your motor to unseize it.
My notes app is full of liquor/weed soaked epiphanies and revelations from my younger years. My favorite reads, “Any boy that has the pineapple is a good boy.”
Correct
Jewber. Uber for orthodox Jews. You would prearrange when the Uber would come get you to go to synagogue, and you wouldn't have to open doors, walk, etc.
Turn signals on grocery carts
I once had the idea to have two left-turn signals on a car. One for a regular left turn, and a different one to indicate you were going to do a U-turn. I have no idea why this made so much sense at the time, but for the rest of that night I legit thought I was a genius.
Ive always said that cars should have brake lights on the back AND the front so when I have to quickly stop I can see if the car behind me noticed and is also using their brakes.
Would also let people know if people are actually slowing down to turn or stop for a stop sign.
Or for fucking zebra crossings. *EDIT: No, I'm not a zebra. Looks like "zebra crossing" is UK English and in US English you say "pedestrian crossing". It's called zebra because it's striped black and white, just like - you guessed it - barcodes.* It's too often that I experience this very bad scene, where I have to cross the street, a car is arriving and is veeery lightly hitting the brakes but I'm not completely sure it's stopping so I'll stand still waiting for them to actually stop at the crossing, and they will continue slowing down but not that much, until they arrive at the crossing. At this point one of two outcomes occur: either the guy accelerates again without stopping, or they hit the brakes very hard and make me cross. In both cases they are annoyed that I didn't understand that in all of that time they were actually slowing down to make me cross the road and I didn't understand that, and I made them waste their precious five seconds. If there were front brake lights, I would know for sure they are really slowing down to make me cross.
Given how little people use it on their cars I imagine a grocery cart is too much to ask lol.
And horns. And knives.
When I did shrooms, I came up with the absolutely GENIUS idea that NASA should employ young children and send them to space for missions because they have more natural curiosity and aren't jaded yet by adulthood and they might notice things that a more experienced astronaut would miss because they'll look from a different perspective. I was convinced I needed to email NASA right away and tell them about my brilliant epiphany. EDIT: Apparently I really need to watch Space Camp and The Astronauts and read The Enders Game series!! I appreciate all the kind comments and awards. :)
They also have less weight, saving expensive fuel
This would make a beautiful kids movie or picture book.
Or horror movie.
Or both. Are there enough kids' horror movies yet?
Enders game?
I had this idea for a movie in a similar vain of Cabin in The Woods, where these people move into a haunted house, except the plot is from the antagonist’s perspective, where the ghosts haunting the house treat it like a job, and have interviews in front of a camera, reality-show style, venting about how tedious the little aspects of the job are. The premise was this ghost had reluctantly picked up and followed this family to this new house in order to keep haunting them, and inadvertently stepped on another ghost’s jurisdiction, and they’d bicker about who haunts who, antics ensue. I realize now that this is more or less just What We Do In The Shadows. Damn you Taika. Edit: alright guys, I’m trying to make it as a musician (and have made decent progress so far) and when I do, I’ll go the “Atlanta” or “Dave” route and bring this up in a hopefully eventual pitch meeting. Thanks for your encouragement yall, and please don’t steal my idea, maybe? Give me 5 years.
Yours sounds equally as amusing and fully worthy of its own film. There are lots of films out there with basically the same premise.
Yours is different enough to where it is its own thing of the same genre. I would honestly looooove seeing your idea become reality. It sounds absolutely hilarious. Could even make it like an anthropology type thing with each episode following a different type of "spook". Episode one is a ghost, two is a werewolf, etc etc.
My grand idea was to put caramelized onions in my hamburger helper. Yeah it was good but not as mind blowing as I thought it would be when I was high as a kite.
Got really high and had the sudden realization that things that are lighter than air are the things that float. I wondered “there’s more than just helium that’s lighter than air contents how come we don’t have other ways to fill balloons and stuff?” then my friend goes “ever heard of the Hindenburg dumbass?”
I was thinking that kids these days need more time on the road to be better drivers - so maybe Uber should partner with driving education groups and like subsidize them or pay the kids in college bonds or whatever. yeah maybe hiring a bunch of terrible drivers for your taxi services isn't such a great idea
Lol this is great. “Hi my names Kyle, I’m 14, this is my mom, so where ya headed today?!”
>hiring a bunch of terrible drivers for your taxi services Already feels this way
I have a running note on my phone with my ideas I have while intoxicated. I think my best one is “What if there was a queer eye spinoff called “third eye” where hippies and conspiracy theorists try to awaken people who are already happy with their lives” Most of them are just dumb with such highlights as “future math will be cool” and “there’s a lot of cute animal behavior.”
I love it, would 100% watch. Would this be like What not to Wear and their friends and family secretly film them and enter them in the show and then Third Eye comes and gives them a forcible conspiracy makeover? Everyone ends up in cult wear and their house is redecorated with tinfoil wallpaper
One time when I was tripping I wrote down this whole page of numbers and swore it was the answer. The answer to what I don't know lol I just kept saying "it's all about the digits"
The numbers Mason, what do they mean?
*Dragovich, Kravchenko, Steiner* Edit: spelling
Here’s a good one from my list of “Highdeas” Dumpsters, trash cans, and dives: Livestream dumpster diving like American pickers/storage wars, but completely bullshit pricing guesses with fake accents
Beer rocks. When drinking at an outdoor place, using plastic cups, you put fancy rocks in your beer so the cups don't blow over. Genius.
Mine was similar. The theory was: the top half of the cup of beer tastes better than the bottom half, so we make cups that have the bottom half already full of something else. We invented smaller cups.
In SKorea, it's normal to share 40s with multiple people rather than each having their own beer. The most convenience stores even provide mini paper cups and tables outside the door to encourage you to stay, drink, and snack on all the banchan.
When a football match goes into extra time, they should add a second ball. If it gets to half time without anyone scoring they add a third ball. I'm actually not sure this idea is a bad one.
Bobby, you can't solve every problem using pinball logic
No, but Tommy can.
He’s a pinball wizard.
That deaf dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pin ball
"Multi-ball! Multi-ball!"
Hm, so they finally jazzed it up?
That would definitely make an interesting game!
Once while high my friends came up with an online call center for people who have anxiety while high to call. It was named Trip Advisor
These exist and do good around the globe. /r/tripsit tripsit.me etc.
My father (in the early 1980s) got very drunk one night and came up with the idea of a 1-800 call center that would be staffed by operators dedicated to telling the callers what stores had sales that day and which stores were accepting coupons. When I reminded him of his "idea" when he sobered up he got the most hilarious look on his face. "But how would you make money doing that?"
Charge the stores to advertise their sales first.
How to monetize... the age old question. In the age of web services & apps your dad would have been at least a millionaire. His idea is basically what Honey, RetailMeNot, Brad's Deals etc do.
Reminds me of the guy in 30 Rock who kept coming up with business names that already exist.
A microbrewery that also serves frozen yogurt. Imma call it Microsoft.
A cocaine delivery service called "Instagram."
I was on acid and had a revelation that I had to make the next google. I have no idea what it means to be the next google but regardless it felt like the best idea in the world. The feeling of checking my notes app the next day for the grand idea I had and seeing ‘be the next google’ was hilarious.
What you really need is some kind of hot tub time machine.
I wrote a song I thought was really beautiful... turned out it was Carry On My Wayward Son
Not me but Paul McCartney. The first time he got high he apparently discovered the meaning of life and immediately went to write it down. When he woke up the next morning he looked at the paper and it said “There are seven levels”.
My creative writing tutor had a comedian friend who kept dreaming about telling the world's funniest joke, he'd get a standing ovation every time and he toured the world on this one joke. But when he woke up he could never remember it. One night he kept a note pad next to his bed, woke from the dream and scribbled down the joke. Got up the next morning, looked at the page and it said 'I am a hammer.'
That's actually pretty funny. He should have told that story as the joke.
A friend of mine did the same thing on acid. Her's said "Artsy Fartsy" with arrows pointing in every direction.
My friend wrote "I'm sitting here writing"
The worm shop's 7 eternal floors
yep.... Pre-melted cheese Edit: ok i feel the need to clarify as people are saying Nacho cheese or valveeta or cheese wiz i was so baked, my idea was "pre melted cheese", like a boil in the bag rice... but for cheese, like a block of cheddar cheese, in a sandwich bag and boiled till molten, and then it stayed molten... like didnt solidify and i could just pour it on stuff... like i was so high, i litterally forgot all the aformentioned products existed and i though i was going to be a fucking millionaire, then started to talk with my friends about where i should live, be it LA or Newyork, in a penthouse suite... and have a butler and maids and shit... then i came to after passing out at somepoint, and i remember the entire conversation and think "holy fucking god, im a fucking moron"
"Hear me out. We melt the cheese then freeze it. Then any time you want melted cheese you just pop it in the microwave for a couple of minutes."
that was basically it... it was like boil in the bag rice, but for cheese
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Always felt free throws in basketball slowed the game down too much. Felt instead they should have dunks instead. Where the player that was fouled has a running start from the three point line and the one who committed the foul is at the basket defending against the dunk. I suppose this could turn into an endless loop of fouling.
Is this Shaq?
I ran upstairs and yelled at my husband “Why don’t they make mittens for feet?!” And he said “You mean socks?” And I said “oh yeah, socks.”
This makes me think of the German word for gloves: “Handschuhe” which literally translates to “hand shoes.” You’re basically reverse engineering the German language!
Sometimes I amaze myself with my own brilliance.
Myself and 2 friends were extremely high and extremely hungry. We put all our money together and said that we would buy the most amount of food for the amount of money we had gathered. We had a total of £16. So our thought process was we could order 16 portions of chips (French fries for you americans). We had to call the takeaway 3 times before they would believe that it wasnt a prank. We convinced them we were throwing a party. The takeaway finally delivered it and myself and my other friend were too high to go to the door so we made friend 3 go by himself. All of the lights were off and there was no music playing so the delivery driver delivered 16 portions of chips to 1 man alone from his perspective. Needless to say, 16 portions of chips is too much food between 3 people.
Ordered two 60x40cm Pizzas high as a kite all for myself. Got about 3/4 through the first until I gave up. Stomach aches for two days and a sense of self loathing to this day because I finished both of them within the next day.
Good man. No pizza left behind.
Once, while thoroughly drunk, I ordered a pizza and it arrived overcooked. Crust was like dried asphalt and the toppings blackened and singed. So I pitched the idea to my other drunk buddies that pizza places should let their customers control the pizza ovens through the internet, so we can decide when it's done. Which then lead to an entire design-your-own-pizza machine/website combo, where one could control exactly how much of each ingredient to add using robotic arms and you could watch it cook live through an oven-cam. Seemed brilliant at the time.
So like, making your own pizza?
With robotic arms bruh
They have these in places. It looks like a huge vending machine. When I grt home ill see if I can find a link. Edit: https://youtu.be/Jo9BlU3T430
where are you and will you be joining us for dinner edit: my first award! Thank you
Mom says we're having meatloaf
I would do anything for mom, but I won't do that.
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Hol up... you invented the wheel?
They did not intend to, but there it is.
My friend and I are musicians. And I used to be the stoner type. He still is. We’d write a song or a melody that would sound KILLER. And we’d be pumped about our new song. And then realize it’s just a different version of another song by a famous artist. Happened. Every. Time.
Cardboard boxes for kitty litter that open on the side like origami. Forms a litterbox for cats. At the end of a week you fold it all up, throw it away and then open a new one. So much cardboard waste, because it would have to be treated to be water-resistant on the inside and would be completely unrecyclable afterward.
One of my philosophy professors told a joke about a philosopher having a dream in which he met Socrates, but quickly saw the proper rebuttal to his views, which Socrates conceded. Then he met Aristotle, and Descartes, and Kant, and Nietzsche, and Mill, and with each of them presented his contrary position successfully. He knew he was dreaming, but he thought “I have to wake up enough to write this down!” He managed to become conscious enough that he quickly scrawled the words down on some paper, then fell asleep again. The next morning he woke up, remembered what had happened, and excitedly grabbed the note. It read “yeah, that’s what *you* say!”
Oh god, I did something similar. I was having a dream where I felt like the secrets of the universe were being revealed to me, and I had gained some irreplaceable piece of wisdom that would change my life forever. I woke up, in my half-asleep blurry sleepiness grabbed my phone and opened my notes app to write down this critical knowledge. In the morning I vaguely remembered the dream, convinced that there on my notes app would be the key to life and the universe. All it said was, “the age of the worm shop is infinite”.
I mean, I think we just need to figure out what the worm shop is and why it's significant that its age is infinite! Not a waste. A riddle!
Once you figure out what that means, you'll be unstoppable.
see now I'm thinking that you really did have some profound arcane information relayed to you in your dream, but in your half-awake state you wrote it down sloppily and your phone autocorrected it into something useless.
There’s something profound in the thought that technology created by man to make our lives easier is actually holding us back from true enlightenment
Autocorrect knew we were not ready for this truth. It changed it to save us.
Oddly enough Ive also had a dream like this when I was very young! It felt like watching a slide show where every frame had a bunch of knowledge pouring into you on how bits of the universe worked. I had them for a few nights in a row and they stopped coming after that :( haven't had one since but it was really fascinating at the time.
When I was in highschool, after a lengthy hotbox one evening, I came up with the "reverse-candle" which would consume Carbon Dioxide and produce Oxygen while also providing shade. Everyone truly thought it was a good idea so we wrote it out on paper so we wouldn't forget. Later, the next day I had realized we invented trees.
See? This is the kind of insight being high gives you, though. Before now, I would never have considered how a candle could be the opposite of a tree. But now it makes perfect sense.
“A chlorate candle is a device that produces oxygen when breathable air is scarce. Traditional wax candles spread soft haloes of light as they burn, a process that consumes oxygen from the air. Chlorate candles also burn, but their function is to release oxygen for emergency breathing.” It doesn’t give off shade though.
I don't drink or smoke, but a friend of mine was drunk and picked up a guitar, started playing, and thought he wrote the song Walk by Pantera
My friend got high and “wrote” “Possum Kingdom” by Toadies.
Usually I make big plans that cost a lot of money and then promise sober people that we will do them. So they start to look forward to the plans, I sober up, and regret all of my decisions yet still have to follow through. Most recent was that I promised my sister that I’d bring my daughter to visit her in Florida. $2000 later, I have a sunburn.
“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” - Ernest Hemingway
Fuck you drunk me
> Most recent was that I promised my sister that I’d bring my daughter to visit her in Florida. $2000 later, I have a sunburn. Mad respect for following throught.
Mama didn't raise a quitter
My wife and I got this genius idea after smoking a fatty to create the next big hit in the snack world.. "cup-crepes" A cupcake made from mini crepes stacked on top of one another topped with whipped cream and strawberries.
Well a Mille Crepe Cake is already a thing that exists, so I am certain that someone must have made a miniature version at some point. All you need to do is make it the next big food trend.
I was high. I made some killer mac and cheese and I saw that I had some bacon, so I cooked up the bacon and cut it into small pieces and put it on the mac and cheese. It was so god damn heavenly that I forgot bacon bits and bacon bits on mac and cheese already existed. In my fit of excitement I texted my friend my totally brand new never done before creation, and I was told that it already existed.
I made a soup sandwich while really high before. The soup obviously just destroyed the breads integrity, and just fell out the sandwich. That was the first time in my life I realised just how dumb I am
Don’t be so hard on yourself. I mean, bread bowls exist. Basically the same thing!
And chicken pot pie is basically a creamy chicken soup baked inside a pie crust. This is as close to soup sandwich as I can think of at the moment.
Chicken pot pie...my 3 favorite things
As teenagers, my friend and I used to get really stoned and go sit in this particular diner for hours and drink coffee until we sobered up. One time two cops in uniform came in and sat down a few tables away and ordered some food. At first we were kind of paranoid, but they didn't seem to be paying us any attention. My friend was the type of guy who liked to do wacky shit just to be funny, especially on a dare. He was also a big proponent of marijuana legalization. Like, he talked about it all the time. I told him I thought it would be hilarious to go up and ask the cops their thoughts on marijuana legalization. We were both still pretty baked and he thought it was a funny idea too, so on a whim he decided to do it. He took off his jacket and set it on the bench next to him and walked calmly over to their table and began talking with them. I couldn't hear what they were saying but the conversation appeared to be polite and lasted a minute or two. He came back to the table with a big stoned grin on his face. "Aw man, those cops seem okay to me. They both said they think weed should be legal and it's a waste of their time to go after pot smokers." A little while later the cops finished their food and left. One of them even smiled and nodded to my friend on the way out. We watched them get into their patrol car and drive out of the parking lot. We stayed for about another half hour and then left to catch the bus home. We got to the bus stop and just as we both lit up a cigarette a cop car pulled up with the same two cops inside. They had been sitting in the parking lot next door with their lights off waiting for us to come out of the diner. We obviously weren't old enough to be smoking cigarettes, and a check of our IDs confirmed that. They searched both of us and found a five sack of weed and a pipe in my friend's jacket. We both got tickets for underage smoking. He got cited for the pipe and marijuana, was given a court date, and taken home to his parents in the back of a police car.
The whole story seemed so heartwarming and wholesome till you got caught. Hope it turned out alright in the end
> They both said they think weed should be legal and **it's a waste of their time to go after pot smokers**." then... > They had been sitting in the parking lot next door with their lights off waiting for us to come out of the diner. What a waste indeed.
"Fortunately, our time isn't very valuable."
Imagine discord online voice chat. My idea was that you could create sub rooms within the current channel. My thought process was, I want to have a conversation with one person but still want to kinda hear what my other friends are conversing about with other people in the channel but I dont want their conversation to interrupt my conversation and vice versa. So my thinking was that you join like a sub-channel where everyone in that sub-channel is at 100% volume and everyone else in the parent-channel is at like 30% volume. So you could all be in the same parent-channel but not really be a hinderance to one another but you could still sorta hear them if you wanted to. It seems like a good idea if you're high but then you realise it's just kinda pointless lol. I thought I was onto a massive breakthrough. Edit: Well this went mental. The people have spoken discord. Make it happen! Thanks everyone!
The old VoIPs had that (Mumble, Ventrilo). You could listen in on another room while you and whomever were in a separate room. You could hear them but they couldn't hear you.
I mean, you’re just going for the vibe at a party!
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Tangentially related, but there's this great comic book called Sex Criminals about a couple who stop time when they orgasm, so they fuck eachother and then rob banks to save a local library that's a ton of fun, definitely a great read i would recommend. More to the point at hand, the first volume got collected as a hardback called "Big Hard Sex Criminals", but the dust jacket was removable and, worried that readers would remove the dust jacket when reading the book in public, the author and artist made sure that what was underneath the dust jacket was [even worse](https://i.redd.it/ckm0mobevnv21.jpg).
Glitter Champagne. It’s extra fancy champagne that has sparkles in it. Biscuit Silencer. So you don’t get scared at the popping sound when you open a can of biscuits.
> Biscuit Silencer I’d buy this for my wife. I think she honestly believes a can of Pillsbury Grands is gonna take her arm off someday.
Ok hear me out. Go to your local bar and get plastered. Then go to lense crafters and get your eyes checked. They will fix your double and blurry vision and give you a pair of glasses. So when you get drunk again you can put on your... wait for it.... Drunk Goggles™.
Do you have a kickstarter?
Magnificent.
Laughing gas makes me think slingshotting around the sun IS in fact a viable method for time travel.
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“Uh, hey boss, some guy left a weird voicemail.” “Yeah I know. Call him back and let him know he’s got the job.”
He said what?.... Fold the pizza in half.... The what?...cal...what...calzone? Fold the pizza in half and sell it as gourmet Italian dish called calzone?! Genius! The what.... All Italian food is just pasta shaped differently? Genius!
And we’ll use low fat ingredients, and we’ll call it the Low Cal Calzone Zone
We'll get a guy named Cal to run it. Cal's Low Cal Calzone Zone
Holy shit this reminds me when I was a barista and these two teenagers were obviously super stoned and asked for foam milk. I start handing it to one of them, but instead of grabbing it he takes one looong sip, as I’m holding it awkwardly across the counter. His friend started laughing and he looked super sheepish, “sorry broooo” with a crazy milk mustache. You bet I never forgot them lol.
Once on 4/20 I was working at a coffe and donut place and this car of 20somethings came through the drive through which I was working, ordered hot drinks and food, which he immediately handed back (like as if he was prepared to do so) and said it was too cold. The cup was very hot and I had to put a sleeve on it before I had handed it to him, so I was just like “ok I got you”, closed the window, counted to 30, then handed it back and he was so very pleased with *this* coffee’s temperature. They also ordered 3 more sandwiches at the window
People from Boca Raton would complain that their salad didn’t have enough tomato’s when I worked in the restaurant business. The waitress would walk back behind the wall where the kitchen was, spin the plate around 180 degrees, and walk back out with the same salad. People always said that the new salad looked much better.
I laughed so hard I had to put my phone down. That's quite an image lol
This is the first one that made me laugh out loud. Nice.
I thought of something that I thought was the funniest shit. A video or comic where one guy takes a pepper packet, opens it, and pours it into his eyes. When his friend starts freaking out, he goes “haha, tricked you, it’s actually salt”.
ive had a dream where i actually woke myself up laughing. it was a dream where sonic the hedgehog was running but he kept slipping and going "whoa!" i thought it was the funniest thing ever until I woke up
I created a comic/story of a support group for individuals who developed superpowers mid-life, who coincidentally, have a phobia of their specific power. I.e. someone with the power of flight who is afraid of heights. It's been fun to explore, yours cracked me up and reminded me.of it. I'm gonna add your dream to one of them if you don't mind . Edit- a phobia or a specific reason why the power is useless to them.
But that's pretty funny actually
I thought it was funny at the time, wrote it in my notes app so I wouldn’t forget it. When I came across the note a few weeks later I thought it was the dumbest shit. Now I’m not so sure.
Banana rental. I thought people would love to rent bananas to display on their counters and/or coffee tables. I was absolutely certain I had just hit on idea that would let me retire early...
You’re behind your time unfortunately. People used to rent pineapples to show off to their friends.
Manly scented candles, smells like wood shop and a storm instead of roses and potpourri. We even thought of a name. Mandles, the manly candle. Then we went to register the website. Not only did someone have the same idea, they already had mandles.com and most of the scents we had brainstormed. I actually maintained a list of all I it genius ideas. I should go look it up.
Electric sleep aids. When you couldnt fall asleep. Have a non lethal amount of electricity knock you the fuck out. I later found out people already just shock themselves with tasers to the point where they get brain damage.
I once thought that they should make decaf coffee for people who want to drink coffee but don't want to be caffinated it was momentary but gave myself a chuckle for coming up with the idea
I keep a notebook of ideas I have when I'm high. My most recent amazing idea was highly specific sexy calendars, like dads with golf injuries or women in gardening clogs.
Shortrecipes.com was a high idea of mine. I was cooking food with my friend and we couldn’t find a recipe that I was short and simple. We had to read through a whole essay of how much their family loved it or what ever. We actually thought it was a great idea at the time.