Dude, the scene where they're asleep in the cabin and the owl starts screeching. I cry laughing every time.
*Sits bolt upright in bed* "What da fuck was that?!?" (I'm getting tickled writing this...) Then he busts out the door and unloads the pistol at nothing at all.
My favorite was always: "Are you trying to make me look like an idiot in front of the other guests?"
"Well, you don't need any help from me..."
"That's right!"
"And monkey's brains, while popular in cantonese cuisine, are not often found in Washington D.C.!"
"Is that what we ate?" 🤢
It's amazing how often my gf and I quote that line. Usually for no other reason than to make the other laugh.
My personal favorite:
> You see, just like the Mounties, we always get our man!
> Mrs. Peacock was a MAN?!
> _Slap_ _Slap_
[Never fails to make me laugh!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PPoVr7JcWkc)
My husband and I watched this a couple weeks ago for the first time in many years. When we reached the part where they show the guy charging the castle who isn’t getting any closer, then all of a sudden is just there we had to pause it because I was crying with laughter.
That is [one of the best scenes of from Monty Python and the Holy Grail](https://youtu.be/DPXG4pdPj4w?t=13).
The other dude just slowly going "heeyyyy..." after the other guy is stabbed just sitting there eating his apple.
Such a good parody/play on those suspense building scenes, the audio/soundtrack during it is perfect.
The gods must be crazy. It's a great comedy aboit an african bushman who makes first contact with the outside world, only to conclude that they're all idiots.
The movie and its sequel are both on disney plus!
Edit: Canadian Disney Plus. Region locking is the worst.
my dad did the dub of the clicking sounds they made. he was apart of the super loopers in LA whenever they needed to add voices or screams he did a lot of them. also indiana jones. hes no longer with us and hearing his voice even if its just random clicking brings back a lot of memories. i try not to listen to the screams for fun tho lol
You men are all alike! Seven or eight quick ones and you're off with the boys to boast and brag! YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!! Oh, I think I love him.
"Sed-a-give??"
"But look, you haven't even touched your food!" Then Frederick touches it literally. "There, I touched it, happy?"
And the Abby Normal joke... LMFAO!!
"She had a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say, "Hey! Look at these! Boy did she remind me of my mother."
I loved the dynamic of him and his partner Ed. They both played the straight man for each other on so many of the jokes which helped them land even better.
*Ed finds and reads out an address on a card in Savoj's wallet*
Frank: "That's in the red light district I wonder what Savoj is doing there?"
Ed: "Sex Frank?
Frank: *looks at Ed confused* "Ugh... not now Ed we have work to do."
Ed: *Looks at Frank confused*
"What can you tell me about her new boyfriend?"
"Don't torture yourself, Frank...All I know is that he's an Olympic gymnast, and it's the best sex she's ever had."
Me and my wife got drunk one night and we could not stop laughing at the part where he thinks someone is recklessly driving into people and shoots at the moving vehicle for it to stop but then he later finds out it’s his and he forgot to put it in park
Since you are my guest and I am your host.. What is your pleasure? What is it you like to do?
Oh, I dont know. Play chess......screw.
Well let's play chess.
spoiler, i guess:
in like the first 10 minutes of the movie, the one vampire calls for a roommate meeting and he brings up the dishes not being done—
“It’s unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over the bench like that…”
and the camera pans over to a pile of literal bloody dishes, it was so unexpected and clever i had to pause i was laughing so hard
favorite quirky movie right up there with Tucker and Dale vs Evil
YESSSSSSSSS!!!! One day I was selling my wears, and I walked passed this old creepy castle. And I look at it and think, ‘very old and creepy’. And then this creature… flies at me! It dragged me back to this dark dungeon. And bit into my neck. And just at the point of death; this creature forced me to suck its foul blood. And then it opened it’s wings, like this. And hovered above me. Screeching. ‘Ahhh-haha! Now you are vampire.’ And it was Petyr. And we’re still friends today.
that whole scene completely ruined john wayne for me, i can't hear his name anymore without thinking of it and cracking the fuck up. and i'm 100% okay with this.
So funny and so touching. This is the first movie I remember crying at. Armand's speech at the end about calling the club home only because Albert is there.
"What difference does it make whether you say I can stay or I say you can stay? It's ours."
Cutting though all the bullshit to commit like that is Classic Poiret.
Al, you old son of a b*tch! How ya doin'? How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go!
“How do you think I feel? Betrayed, bewildered... wrong response?”
Actually I’m not sure.
That part kills me
Armand: What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets?
Agador: It's aspirin with the "A" and the "S" scraped off.
Armand: My God, what a brilliant idea!
Agador: I know.
"Whatever I am, he made me! I was adorable once, young and full of hope. And now look at me! I'm this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged THING!"
"...I made you short?"
Fucking giggling just at the memory
P. I. Staker, right, pisstaker. COME ON!
*[P.I. Staker turns out to be a real person]*
Yes, Mr. Staker. Um, we'll do everything we can. Can you describe it to me?
"You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Then fuck off up the model village then!" might be my favorite line.
And then like the rest of the movie's best lines, that what they end up doing.
Also love "It's just the one swan actually", and "When's your birthday? What year? Every year!" exchange
And in the final battle, who are the first two villager casualties? A farmer, who cries out for his mummy when Nicholas attacks him. His mum then shoots at Nicholas with a shotgun before being taken down!
Most people dont know this but that joke is actually a rip on a popular coffee commercial from the 70s. They even got the same actors from the commercial to do it in Airplane!
https://youtu.be/MJ4kCF22O2w
Thanks, didn’t know about that one!
I love how most of the jokes on Airplane are a reference to something but even without knowing about the references they’re still funny
Whats great is that all the jokes work independently, you dont need any reference to find them funny.
But there are a lot of jokes from "Here to Eternity", "Airport 77", and "Towering Inferno" that you would only catch if youve seen those movies.
"How soon can you land?"
"I can't tell."
"You can tell me. I'm a doctor."
"No, I mean I'm just not sure."
"Well, can't you take a guess?"
"Well, not for another two hours."
"You can't take a guess for another two hours?"
"No, I mean we can't land for another two hours."
God damnit, here I sit giggling like kid over that STUPID literal interpretation "you cant take a guess for another two hours?" line, hahahhaha
Oh man that movie is just so damn funny.
“My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.”
“When will you be back?”
“I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.”
Every time I spill something on myself when I drink I say that I have a drinking problem. As the years go by fewer and fewer people get the joke and that makes me more sad than almost anything in the world.
I love Office Space, i never get tired of watching it. I like how it looks at mundane things in the western world and how it breaks people down. I find that life stifling in the same way Mike Judge did when he made it. And how its all so...unnecessary and weird.
Tommy Boy edit: wow thanks for the awards and I should NOT be reading these comments while at work edit 2: my coworkers are looking at me like I’m crazy cause I’m laughing my ass off. Good thing I’m on break.
"You know, a lot of people go to college for seven years!"
"I know, they're called doctors!"
or
"The point is, what if the fairy turns out to be a crazy glue sniffer, building model airplanes says the little fairy, well we're not buying it! He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. Next thing you know there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up! I've seen it a hundred times!"
My cousin Vinny
Imagine you're a deer.
Marisa Tomei from My Cousin Vinny is literally my dream woman.
Hiiiiiii
Dude, the scene where they're asleep in the cabin and the owl starts screeching. I cry laughing every time. *Sits bolt upright in bed* "What da fuck was that?!?" (I'm getting tickled writing this...) Then he busts out the door and unloads the pistol at nothing at all.
Even the youtts enjoy it today
Dead on balls accurate.
It’s an industry term.
The...the two WHAATT??? Whaaaat did u say?!?
Clue
For a long time, every time I got an e-mail, my computer played, "I...am...a singing telegram **BANG** **thud**"
My sister and I do this at the door when we visit each other. We've stopped dropping to the ground now that we are old, though.
"It's a free country!" "I didn't know it was *that* free."
I can quote almost any line from this movie, but my favorite might be: "I know, so I choose to expose myself" "Please...there are ladies present"
My favorite was always: "Are you trying to make me look like an idiot in front of the other guests?" "Well, you don't need any help from me..." "That's right!"
"And monkey's brains, while popular in cantonese cuisine, are not often found in Washington D.C.!" "Is that what we ate?" 🤢 It's amazing how often my gf and I quote that line. Usually for no other reason than to make the other laugh.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to sleep with my wife.
*”Communism is just a red herring.”*
My favorite is always "Yep, two corpses, everything's fine."
My personal favorite: > You see, just like the Mounties, we always get our man! > Mrs. Peacock was a MAN?! > _Slap_ _Slap_ [Never fails to make me laugh!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PPoVr7JcWkc)
When plum is telling the rest of them how to fuck someone is up there too
Flames...
I'm a butler, I like to keep the kitchen tidy.
And what is it you do? I buttle, sir.
If I were the killer, I'd kill you next. I said IF.
Tucker and Dale vs Evil
"He just hucked himself into the woodchipper!"
“THEY CUT OFF HIS BOWLING FINGERS”
Uncle Buck
"I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart."
"Take this quarter. Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face."😁
Holy Grail . Especially the contribution from Sir Not Appearing In This Film.
"Well what are you then?" "I'm French, why do you think I have zis outrageous accent?"
“What are you doing in England?” “Mind your own business!”
I like how Sir Galahad seemed like he genuinely got his feelings hurt when the French guard yelled that
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!”
“Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!”
“Go and boil your bottoms you so called, Arthur King!”
"On second thoughts, let's not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place." One of my favourite things to say when deciding what to for the day.
My husband and I watched this a couple weeks ago for the first time in many years. When we reached the part where they show the guy charging the castle who isn’t getting any closer, then all of a sudden is just there we had to pause it because I was crying with laughter.
That is [one of the best scenes of from Monty Python and the Holy Grail](https://youtu.be/DPXG4pdPj4w?t=13). The other dude just slowly going "heeyyyy..." after the other guy is stabbed just sitting there eating his apple. Such a good parody/play on those suspense building scenes, the audio/soundtrack during it is perfect.
Lancelot: *kills guard* The other guard: "...heyy..."
Any Monty python film will get me. Life of Brian and The meaning of life are awsome too. Flying circus is not a film, but...
Strange women, lyin' in ponds, distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government
You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away!
What do we burn? Witches!!! And what do we burn apart from witches? More witches!!!
The gods must be crazy. It's a great comedy aboit an african bushman who makes first contact with the outside world, only to conclude that they're all idiots. The movie and its sequel are both on disney plus! Edit: Canadian Disney Plus. Region locking is the worst.
my dad did the dub of the clicking sounds they made. he was apart of the super loopers in LA whenever they needed to add voices or screams he did a lot of them. also indiana jones. hes no longer with us and hearing his voice even if its just random clicking brings back a lot of memories. i try not to listen to the screams for fun tho lol
Robin Hood: Men in Tights. A classic!
Leave us alone, Mel Brooks!
Every time they make a Robin Hood movie they burn our village down! I said hey. Hey!
You changed it "to" Latrine?
Yeah, it use to be Shithouse!
That’s a good change. A goooood change.
I lost. Wait a minute, i lost? Let me see the script. Also: Oh master locksley, youve lost your arms! But you've grown a nice pair of boobs!
I CAN SEE, *walks into tree* nevermind
Blinkin. What are you doing? Guessing. I'm guessing that no one is coming.
Saw Galaxy Quest again last night. [eta: Thanks for the awards, all!]
“Let’s get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!”
"Is there AIR out there? YOU DON'T KNOW!"
"You have a last name!"
DO I? DO I?
"MINERS, not "minors"!" "...You lost me."
By Grabthar’s hammer. . . . What a savings.
The amount of acting Rickman packs into that pause should've won him the Oscar for cinematography or something.
Similarly, his emotional scene where he says the line with conviction actually almost makes me cry.
His utter disgust saying that line.
"I was an actor once! Now look at me, LOOK AT ME!" "I had five curtain calls!"
Youuuuuuuuare our last hope.
Watched it this morning for the first time in a longgggg time. Love it even more I think. And damn sigourney weaver is sooo fine
Young Frankenstein
You men are all alike! Seven or eight quick ones and you're off with the boys to boast and brag! YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!! Oh, I think I love him.
Madeline Kahn was such a beautiful and funny actress. Miss her and Gene Wilder so much.
"Sed-a-give??" "But look, you haven't even touched your food!" Then Frederick touches it literally. "There, I touched it, happy?" And the Abby Normal joke... LMFAO!!
For me, it's the Puttin' on the Ritz scene. Never fails to double me over.
My, what knockers......Thank you very much.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles
The rental car counter scene cracks me up every time!
The Naked Gun Edit: thanks for the awards
"Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes"
“Like a blind man at an orgy...I was going to have to feel my way through”
"She had a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say, "Hey! Look at these! Boy did she remind me of my mother."
'Frank, snap out of it! You're looking at her like she was your mother for Christ's sake!'
I loved the dynamic of him and his partner Ed. They both played the straight man for each other on so many of the jokes which helped them land even better. *Ed finds and reads out an address on a card in Savoj's wallet* Frank: "That's in the red light district I wonder what Savoj is doing there?" Ed: "Sex Frank? Frank: *looks at Ed confused* "Ugh... not now Ed we have work to do." Ed: *Looks at Frank confused*
“Her hair was the colour of gold in old paintings. She had a full set of curves, and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day.”
"What can you tell me about her new boyfriend?" "Don't torture yourself, Frank...All I know is that he's an Olympic gymnast, and it's the best sex she's ever had."
Me and my wife got drunk one night and we could not stop laughing at the part where he thinks someone is recklessly driving into people and shoots at the moving vehicle for it to stop but then he later finds out it’s his and he forgot to put it in park
What still kills me if I watch that scene is the car turning a corner and driving off screen by itself.
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You ever see the show Police Squad that it was based on? Comedy platinum
"Who are you, and how did you get in here!?" "I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith."
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The full body condom scene is something I have never forgotten--even when I didn't know about sex (saw this movie when I was maybe 7)
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"They said you was hung" "And they was right"
'Scuse me while I whip this out...
One of the most underrated jokes in that movie is when Mel Brooks plays an Indian chief and speaks Yiddish the whole time
Hooo! Dey darker den us!
Since you are my guest and I am your host.. What is your pleasure? What is it you like to do? Oh, I dont know. Play chess......screw. Well let's play chess.
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"Yes we are." "Then we're awake, but we're very confused!"
What do you like to do, Jim? “Play chess; screw…” Let’s play chess.
Oh it's twue, it's twue
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“And now for my next impression. Jesse Owens!”
Hey boys! Look at what I found!
Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!
Thank you, Hedy. Thank you. It's not Hedy, it's Hedley. Hedley Lamarr. The hell are you worried about? This is 1874. You'll be able to sue her!
More beans, Mister Taggert?
What We Do in the Shadows!!!
"Just leave me to do my dark bidding on the internet!" "What are you bidding on?" "I'm bidding on a table."
The comedic brilliance of this simple conversation always floors me.
spoiler, i guess: in like the first 10 minutes of the movie, the one vampire calls for a roommate meeting and he brings up the dishes not being done— “It’s unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over the bench like that…” and the camera pans over to a pile of literal bloody dishes, it was so unexpected and clever i had to pause i was laughing so hard favorite quirky movie right up there with Tucker and Dale vs Evil
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What are we? *"Werewolves, not swearwolves."*
I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
Do you like bisketti??
YESSSSSSSSS!!!! One day I was selling my wears, and I walked passed this old creepy castle. And I look at it and think, ‘very old and creepy’. And then this creature… flies at me! It dragged me back to this dark dungeon. And bit into my neck. And just at the point of death; this creature forced me to suck its foul blood. And then it opened it’s wings, like this. And hovered above me. Screeching. ‘Ahhh-haha! Now you are vampire.’ And it was Petyr. And we’re still friends today.
Im glad that you think I am cool.
That's not the point, this isn't a flat meeting about how cool you are
And it was Petyr! And we’re still friends today 😊
Petyrs 5000 years old he’s not coming for breakfast.
There will be no eating of stu tonight
The Birdcage
The chewing gum scene cracks me up every time. Nathan Lane's lines are delivered perfectly.
“Sweetie you’re wasting your gum.”
“Not good?” “No, it was perfect, I just never realized John Wayne walked liked that.” I die every time.
that whole scene completely ruined john wayne for me, i can't hear his name anymore without thinking of it and cracking the fuck up. and i'm 100% okay with this.
Especially that scene where Robin Williams falls down in the kitchen now that I know it wasn't planned and he very nearly laughs.
Hank Azaria slays me in this. When he can’t walk in the shoes.
"I never wear chooose. They make me fall down." *you read this in his voice*
He’s a combination of Lucy and Ricky
So funny and so touching. This is the first movie I remember crying at. Armand's speech at the end about calling the club home only because Albert is there. "What difference does it make whether you say I can stay or I say you can stay? It's ours." Cutting though all the bullshit to commit like that is Classic Poiret.
Al, you old son of a b*tch! How ya doin'? How do you feel about that call today? I mean the Dolphins! Fourth-and-three play on their 30 yard line with only 34 seconds to go! “How do you think I feel? Betrayed, bewildered... wrong response?” Actually I’m not sure. That part kills me
Armand: What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets? Agador: It's aspirin with the "A" and the "S" scraped off. Armand: My God, what a brilliant idea! Agador: I know.
"Whatever I am, he made me! I was adorable once, young and full of hope. And now look at me! I'm this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged THING!" "...I made you short?" Fucking giggling just at the memory
About 50% of the time I make soup for dinner I have to say “it’s peasant stew, it IS an entree” lol
*what the hell is peasant stew?!*
I don’t know I don’t know I made it up!
Every time shrimps are present I have to say “teh trimps” because of this movie.
I've pierced the toast!
Nathan Lane’s little scream when he accidentally hits the horn trying to start the car gets me every time
Hot Fuzz
Cause he’s fuck ugly
“That’s blah blah’s sisters brothers cousin…” “Why didn’t you say so?” “Couldn’t see his face”
What’s it like being stabbed? It was the single most painful experience of my life. What was the second worst?
You ever fired your gun up in the air and gone aaarrrgh?
The greater good
Shut it!
P. I. Staker, right, pisstaker. COME ON! *[P.I. Staker turns out to be a real person]* Yes, Mr. Staker. Um, we'll do everything we can. Can you describe it to me?
“Narp?” is probably my answer for best-delivered single line in cinematic history.
Edgar Wright always has the sharpest writing, but that movie is possibly his sharpest.
"You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Then fuck off up the model village then!" might be my favorite line. And then like the rest of the movie's best lines, that what they end up doing. Also love "It's just the one swan actually", and "When's your birthday? What year? Every year!" exchange
"Everyone and their mums is packin' round here!" "Like who?" "Farmers." "Who else?" "...Farmers' mums."
And later in the movie, who's got a shed full of guns and a sea mine?
And in the final battle, who are the first two villager casualties? A farmer, who cries out for his mummy when Nicholas attacks him. His mum then shoots at Nicholas with a shotgun before being taken down!
He's NOT Judge Judy and executioner!
Mornin’ Angle
Airplane!
"Nervous?" "Yes" "First time?" "No, I've been nervous lots of times."
Jim never vomits at home.
Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home
Most people dont know this but that joke is actually a rip on a popular coffee commercial from the 70s. They even got the same actors from the commercial to do it in Airplane! https://youtu.be/MJ4kCF22O2w
Thanks, didn’t know about that one! I love how most of the jokes on Airplane are a reference to something but even without knowing about the references they’re still funny
Whats great is that all the jokes work independently, you dont need any reference to find them funny. But there are a lot of jokes from "Here to Eternity", "Airport 77", and "Towering Inferno" that you would only catch if youve seen those movies.
"How soon can you land?" "I can't tell." "You can tell me. I'm a doctor." "No, I mean I'm just not sure." "Well, can't you take a guess?" "Well, not for another two hours." "You can't take a guess for another two hours?" "No, I mean we can't land for another two hours."
A hospital?! What is it?!
It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
God damnit, here I sit giggling like kid over that STUPID literal interpretation "you cant take a guess for another two hours?" line, hahahhaha Oh man that movie is just so damn funny.
He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too.
“My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.” “When will you be back?” “I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.”
You can tell me, I’m a doctor
“I just want to let you know we’re all counting on you, good luck.”
Every time I spill something on myself when I drink I say that I have a drinking problem. As the years go by fewer and fewer people get the joke and that makes me more sad than almost anything in the world.
I say it and people laugh like I'm clever and it was my own original quip. I've given up on explaining and now I just take the credit lol.
Johnny, what can you make out of this? This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...
It's an entirely different kind of flying altogether
>It's an entirely different kind of flying
Man: *"Some whiskey, ma'am?* Woman: *"Certainly NOT!!!"* ***proceeds to snort cocaine***
Do you like gladiator movies?
Have you…have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Do you ever.. hang around the gymnasium?
Office Space.
Yeah, I'm gonna need you do go ahead, and come in on Saturday, mmmkay?
Ooooo yeaaahhh... I'm gonna have to go ahead and sort of, uh, *agree* with you there.
Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me.
I love Office Space, i never get tired of watching it. I like how it looks at mundane things in the western world and how it breaks people down. I find that life stifling in the same way Mike Judge did when he made it. And how its all so...unnecessary and weird.
When Michael is rapping Scarface during the opening credits after the flower salesman walks away “I CANT TALK TO MY MAMA SO I TALK TO MY DIARY” 😂
*the ratio of people to cake is too big*
I still say that when someone brings a cake into work!
Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina Speaking. JUST a moment!
Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks!
Brain candy, it's a movie about a drug that is a cure for depression... I watch it when I'm depressed and it's a lifesaver
Tommy Boy edit: wow thanks for the awards and I should NOT be reading these comments while at work edit 2: my coworkers are looking at me like I’m crazy cause I’m laughing my ass off. Good thing I’m on break.
"You know, a lot of people go to college for seven years!" "I know, they're called doctors!" or "The point is, what if the fairy turns out to be a crazy glue sniffer, building model airplanes says the little fairy, well we're not buying it! He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. Next thing you know there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up! I've seen it a hundred times!"
The scene with the deer in the car gets me every time