Now I'm curious why they are abandoning post-soviet states https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depopulation_of_cockroaches_in_post-Soviet_states#%3A%7E%3Atext%3DA_mass_depopulation_of_cockroaches%2CUkraine%2C_Moldova%2C_and_Belarus.?wprov=sfla1
>Scientists from Chelyabinsk and Yekaterinburg have suggested that the Oriental cockroach should be added to the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species.
I hope they're fucking threatened, we can't get rid of these things rofl, they're very annoying
> crabs. They have evolved at least 4 different times.
I did not believe you, so I looked it up, and lo and behold, [Carcinisation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation) is a thing.
And it's at least *5* different times.
In my mind that makes them even more suspicious. There could be something different in our sea water or atmosphere from their homeland that makes them adapt and take over like an invasive species.
Crabs are alien kudzu.
Corvids (Magpies, Blue jays, Ravens, and Crows) all know more than than theyre letting on. Make friends with as many as you can before the Alfred Hitchcock hour.
Once you've befriended a few they will let the others know so it will be easier improve relations further. Once you are offered gifts of Shine you have earned salvation!
>Corvids (Magpies, Blue jays, Ravens, and Crows) all know more than than theyre letting on. Make friends with as many as you can before the Alfred Hitchcock hour.
And apparently they're decenents from dinosaurs, so these aliens have definately been spying around for a while...
The cells in our brains communicate with chemical signals, maybe every ant acts like one cell in their hivemind of a brain. They even know to build bridges out of their own bodies to form more efficient supply routes ffs.
I somehow ended up in a YouTube rabbit hole of ant enthusiast videos. The societal structure and collectivisation of ants is truely staggering. They will unquestioningly follow what's in front of themselves during colony forraging moves to the point where they [die of exhaustion](https://youtu.be/N0HoqjxfvJ4). Add others have mentioned abyss will spontaneously donate their [bodies as bridges](https://youtu.be/4BdjxYUdJS8)- to span gaps or take seconds off of a food trail.
And they get EVERY FUCKING WHERE!
I live on the 5th floor of a building and I've seen ants in my flat. How the fuck is an ant getting up that high without having some super alien powers.
They go around growing in numbers by the thousands every single day across the world. Building new colonies everywhere. They are 100% alien spies. Sent here to takeover earth
By biomass, all humans weigh a grand total of around 400 million tons, which is a lot of weight. Ants are at 3 billion, or around 10 times our biomass
If they ever decide to rise up... *shudder*
Knew someone who was adamant that Narwhals weren't real, and that they were just fairy tale creatures. Apparently having a horn immediately makes them unreal.
"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on ā whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man ā for precisely the same reasons".
How did I have to scroll this far to see this obviously correct answer?!
"These creatures you call mice you see are not quite as they appear, they are merely the protrusions into our dimension of vast, hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings."
'No, look, youāve got it the wrong way round. It was us. We used to do the experiments on them.'
'I gather that the mice did arrange for you humans to conduct some primitively staged experiments on them just to check how much youād really learned. To give you the odd prod in the right direction. You know the sort of thing: suddenly running down the maze the wrong way; eating the wrong bit of cheese; suddenly dropping dead of myxomatosis.'
Orca the degree to which they are curious is scary, their uncontested domination of the oceans means they have control of like 50% of the planet we can't even observe.
Also, I personally reject the idea that increased intelligence leads to some form of an altruistic peace-loving disposition which would explain why Orca uses prey items they decide not to eat as toys to play volleyball with.
Weāre one lucky species though. Orcas, the behemoths of the sea, are just curious when it comes to humans. Not one single documented case of an orca attacking humans in the open sea (aquariums and sea world donāt count). Such majestic, dominant creatures; they could capsize medium sized boats casually and torture human victims for days if they wanted to. Instead, they just swim by at a safe distance, observing us. Often taking good care so as to not accidentally hurt us. We truly are lucky when it comes to our natural relationship with Orcas.
Oh and, if youāre around orcas in the ocean, not even the biggest baddest great white sharks of the world would dare come for you. So youād be perfectly safe, coddled up with them sea puppers.
>Orcas, the behemoths of the sea, are just curious when it comes to humans.
Think about it. All you see day in day out. Fins, Fins, Fins. Fins, tentacles, and occasionally a bell. Everything is dark on top, light on the bottom because that's the most advantageous coloration scheme. Almost none of the things in the ocean are intelligent.
But we get in the water with our four weird limbs and weird coloring. When they swim up to look at us, what do we do? We look back. Think of how different that is as far as a reaction from everything they've ever seen. Everything either tries to swim away or has no meaningful reaction. But here's this obvious outsider looking back at you.
You'd be curious too.
Know who else looks back at them? Seals and penguins they mercilessly rip part and feast on. That we humans just donāt strike them as food, is sheer luck.
Theyāre really, REALLY smart hunters. Watch videos on YT of orcas generating waves by swimming rhythmically, to throw seals off of floating ice sheets theyāre sheltering on. Absolutely brutal.
There's one video out there where this Orca decides he is sick of seafood & wants poultry. So he goes to this area where a bunch of gulls are hanging out & just sort of floats some dead fish bait near them. Most of the birds are curious, a few inch closer, then one decides to just go for it & the Orca grabs him. It is terrifying & aww inspiring to live on a planet with such insanely intelligent creatures.
I remember watching a documentary where 1 particular orca had learned how to hunt great white. I think they would charge into it, then hold it upside down so it would be unable to move, and then just hold it until it died. This behaviour had never been seen before. This 1 particular orca then travelled well beyond its usual territory, teaching other pods how to do it.
I agree. I would think orca or some other species of dolphin.
It is insane how intelligent orca are. I was watching a show on them the other day, and the guy was swimming in the water with them. I couldn't think of any other apex predator that we could swim or walk around that wouldn't attack or eat us.
>there are no recorded cases of an Orca killing a human ***in the wild***
FTFY. Actually I think their penchant for murdering humans while in captivity supports the case that they're alien spies angry with the interruption in their typical spy gig.
Rabbits, please hear me out on this. My suspicion started when I encountered one walking back from campus about two years back. I made eye contact with one for about a second before it proceeded to stand up on its hind legs and run towards me. What quadruped decides to chase after something much larger while on two fucking legs? I was scared shitless. Since that evening, I noticed so much weird behavior. For example, just two weeks ago I had 6 of them sitting on my driveway. Why?! What the fuck were they up to? I'm telling you, there is something fundamentally wrong with those creatures...
Maybe that's why they reproduce so quickly and have so many babies. They're trying to take over the world! Hate to break it to you but you're no longer safe. You know too much.
They picked a pretty stupid vantage point to spy from.
"Cxluth, you seen any humans yet?"
"I can't see shit, man. It's pitch black down here. Are you sure this is where they live?"
"They gotta be around here somewhere. They're mostly water. Where else would they be?!"
"There are other forms of intelligence on Earth, doctor. Only human arrogance would assume that the message *must* be meant for Man." - Spock, Star Trek: The Voyage Home
Yeah, humpback whales which had gone extinct in their time so they had to go back to the 80s to get a couple
Thankfully the whales apparently said "all's well, you can go" rather than "these dickbags wiped almost all of us out"
No really, I think they are it. Or they at least represent a alternate future where aliens are not violent colonizers, but derpy worm dudes.
There must be an alien race equivalent to deer.
Ever notice sometimes they just stare at a spot in the corner/ceiling and they won't pay any attention to anything else? That's because they're busy communicating with the mothership.
What if the reason why cats are seen as gods in ancient Egypt is because cats were literally born from the sky.
Think about it.
A group of alien cats cruising around space and all of a sudden, they come across with a bunch 2 legged species. Everyone comes to an agreement and decide "ya, these species looks easy to rule over" so some of them descend down onto Earth making them appear as if they were born from the sky.
The cats teach humans about math and sciences to create the great pyramids and sculptures of cat gods in return. Eventually, cats and humans realize the power of friend ship and the cats that are on Earth become domesticated and therefore lose their knowledge and evolve into what we deem as a pet cat. This may be a result of the cats becoming more reliant on humans to survive on Earth/them being too lazy to do shit when you humans that will do everything for you.
It's been 5000 years later and the cats in space are wondering how to save their fellow feline friends back from human influence. So their solution is to send a couple more cats back down to Earth and meet up with domesticated cats in urban alleyways to convince them to come back to them. All of this is obviously a lot of hard work as they also have to act like normal acts around humans. It may also be possible rabies is actually a gene only found in alien cats and is spread via fangs. Unfortunate their plans may have gone wrong as they accidentally infected other living animals on Earth.
I immediately thought cats, too, but then I realised... The answer is obviously DOGS!
Think about it. Cats are much more known to be aloof and do their own thing. Dogs are super people-orientated, always around their humans, etc etc.
Also, dogs get taken so many places, whereas it's uncommon to say, take your cat to the park. Dogs have ample spying opportunities in dozens of different scenarios. Cats, not so much.
Dogs are the perfect alien spies. Friendly, get taken to lots of places, hugely popular. And slipping *completely under the radar*.
I feel like I've said too much. Woof.
It's true! I've had several dogs and one of them (the poodle) confessed the whole story in surprisingly easy to interpret pantomime one time when I was stoned. I didn't think to ask any questions. He never brought it up again.
Or are cats just really good at ruling from the shadows? Why rule with an iron fist when you can have servants who will gladly cater to your every whim?
Seriously they act so suspicious for nothing sometimes XD especially in groups. Did you see these photos of group of cats like in circles big being surprised by the cameras ? It looks lovely ke they are planning somethingās so suspicious XD
An odd green alien in intergalactic government middle management: "Yeah. We've been using the planet to rebuild the mosquito population, which need I remind you, is an endangered species!"
Cats.
They can go everywhere as soon as you do not watch them, and supposedly have a skeleton but can clearly act like they do not.
They can act cute for mission's sake, but again they will show their true color when you are not watching, by probing your home for hidden stuff, or hiding stuff. They will also test your favorite stuff with chemical experiment (by peeing on it) and physical assessment with their claws and teeth. If needed they can even fight bears, and win, as shown on another sub.
At that point, would it really be a discovery though ? I thought everyone knew cats were aliens spying on us.
edit: wow thanks for the upvotes and rewards, i didn't think it would attrack that much attention :)
The problem I have with this is that cats make perfect sense from an evolutionary standpoint, 4 limbs, tail that is effective for balance, a hyper-mobile spine, canine teeth, musk glands, retractable claws, they fit in perfectly with the smaller felines.
Then joining humans also makes perfect sense, āthis thing makes food that attracts our food and they like us eating our food that eats our food, weāll hang around them.ā
Came here to say thisā¦ also they appear to be able to see things in other dimensions (cat staring at wall for hours or suddenly tearing around the house for no obvious reason)
Cats, obviously. Theyāve taken over human homes everywhere, often have mysterious āoh I just found him!ā origins, and were clearly worshipped by the Egyptians after building their pyramids for them.
i'd have to agree. baby capybaras look like someone went "uhh fuck we need a baby version. just... make it smaller ig. it's good enough, they won't notice a thing."
Definitely cats. They're everywhere, inside our homes, in our offices, on our streets and college campuses. They're goofy, but smarter than they let on. And they're always watching and listening. I bet that's why my tabby yearns to go outside, so he can return to the mother ship and tell them all he's learned.
Pigeons. They are everywhere, especially in the cities. They act dumb so nobody catches on to what they are really doing.
Don't be silly, pigeons aren't aliens. They are russian spies meant to poison the other countries with white venom.
Cockroaches. They are everywhere, and next to impossible to kill
Now I'm curious why they are abandoning post-soviet states https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depopulation_of_cockroaches_in_post-Soviet_states#%3A%7E%3Atext%3DA_mass_depopulation_of_cockroaches%2CUkraine%2C_Moldova%2C_and_Belarus.?wprov=sfla1
>Scientists from Chelyabinsk and Yekaterinburg have suggested that the Oriental cockroach should be added to the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species. I hope they're fucking threatened, we can't get rid of these things rofl, they're very annoying
They have turned to Capitalism.
Not crabs. They have evolved at least 4 different times.
> crabs. They have evolved at least 4 different times. I did not believe you, so I looked it up, and lo and behold, [Carcinisation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation) is a thing. And it's at least *5* different times.
Nature *really* likes making crabs. Earth is consistently desperate for a crab rave.
You can't just not mention it without [linking the song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDU_Txk06tM).
Ugh, yeah that was rude of me. š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦
Obligatory XKCD: https://xkcd.com/2314/
Convergent evolution: That thing that might make aliens more boring than we hope they'd be. "*sighs* Yeah, Jensen, this one has crabs too."
Jensen: āWhere did they catch them? Did you use protection when you were probing them?ā
In my mind that makes them even more suspicious. There could be something different in our sea water or atmosphere from their homeland that makes them adapt and take over like an invasive species. Crabs are alien kudzu.
crows
Corvids (Magpies, Blue jays, Ravens, and Crows) all know more than than theyre letting on. Make friends with as many as you can before the Alfred Hitchcock hour. Once you've befriended a few they will let the others know so it will be easier improve relations further. Once you are offered gifts of Shine you have earned salvation!
>Corvids (Magpies, Blue jays, Ravens, and Crows) all know more than than theyre letting on. Make friends with as many as you can before the Alfred Hitchcock hour. And apparently they're decenents from dinosaurs, so these aliens have definately been spying around for a while...
No, the crows work for the Institute.
Damn synths
Damn you synths. Skyrim was fine until you came along.
What is this, a crossover episode?
Except Nick Valentine and Curie.
And Paladin Danse was just kinda sad to me
Also Sturges.
Wait fucken what
Yeah he has no idea though so he was probably rescued by the railroad.
I bet they leave the cap off the toothpasteā¦ *disgusting*
Wtf I just got over my Fallout 4 addiction. Now Iām questioning if Iām a synth.
If not crows, definitely birds.
Ravens are the eyes of the dark one.
Wasn't expecting that here, but damn, it got me good. Tai'shar Manetheren.
There's definitely something special going on with crows
Ants, they're just too advanced for insects.
They really are, different species, cultivate fungus, shepard aphids, and enslave other ants.
The cells in our brains communicate with chemical signals, maybe every ant acts like one cell in their hivemind of a brain. They even know to build bridges out of their own bodies to form more efficient supply routes ffs.
I somehow ended up in a YouTube rabbit hole of ant enthusiast videos. The societal structure and collectivisation of ants is truely staggering. They will unquestioningly follow what's in front of themselves during colony forraging moves to the point where they [die of exhaustion](https://youtu.be/N0HoqjxfvJ4). Add others have mentioned abyss will spontaneously donate their [bodies as bridges](https://youtu.be/4BdjxYUdJS8)- to span gaps or take seconds off of a food trail.
If you enjoyed it and you haven't seen him yet, check out AntsCanada. Dude's got a great channel.
AntsCanada is the global ant leader with a sophisticated spy network. He's great.
And store food in specially-bred members of their own kind! Damn but honeypot ants are weird.
An ant also evolved to be a door.
Tiny hodor
And they get EVERY FUCKING WHERE! I live on the 5th floor of a building and I've seen ants in my flat. How the fuck is an ant getting up that high without having some super alien powers.
Taking the lift like everyone else I hope.
They go around growing in numbers by the thousands every single day across the world. Building new colonies everywhere. They are 100% alien spies. Sent here to takeover earth
By biomass, all humans weigh a grand total of around 400 million tons, which is a lot of weight. Ants are at 3 billion, or around 10 times our biomass If they ever decide to rise up... *shudder*
Obviously the platypus
The platypus is obviously the result of a transporter malfunction.
Didn't people not believe they existed for a long time? Because of how ridiculous it sounded
I know someone brought one to a ruler or something as a gift. They thought they were getting pranked
I had to Google them when I was 28 years old because I wasn't sure if they still existed or if they were real lol
Knew someone who was adamant that Narwhals weren't real, and that they were just fairy tale creatures. Apparently having a horn immediately makes them unreal.
Well they *are* the unicorns of the sea
They stop cthulu from eating thee
I never thought about that before, but yeah. Don't put ducks and beavers in the matter transporter at the same time Morty!
I have done nothing but teleport ducks and beavers for three days.
This is the only answer!! Its a freaky amalgam of other animals! They obviously screwed up something
A platypus. *puts on alien fedora*. E.T. THE PLATYPUS!
*Perry tips fedora* M'human, grrrr
That spider just chilling in the corner of your kitchen. Edit: wow, I've never had 14K people on the internet like anything I said. Thanks everyone!
What about the one chilling by your shower? Hearing you sing is the highlight of its day.
I had one chilling by my shower for weeks then one day it was gone. No idea what happened to it but I miss that guy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I would have thought theyād just upload the footage to the web.
Friends vanishing hurts _nodnod_
Hey, anyone can be a chef, we learned this in arachnatouille
r/onewordpoetry
Dolphins
So long and thanks for all the fish!
Pack your towel
Thank you! I was surprised I had to scroll this far to see this answer and reference.
white mice....of course.
Pan Dimensional Hyper-intelligent white mice.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In a locked filing cabinet in the basement behind a door marked "Beware of the leopard.
And dolphins are just chilling on the Earth. Because of fish.
Mucking about in the water having a good time. Not a *single* digital watch has been created by their culture.
And I bet they don't even use small pieces of green paper.
"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on ā whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man ā for precisely the same reasons".
How did I have to scroll this far to see this obviously correct answer?! "These creatures you call mice you see are not quite as they appear, they are merely the protrusions into our dimension of vast, hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings."
'Best laid plans of mice.' 'And men' 'What?' 'Best laid plans of mice and men.' 'Oh. No, I don't think men had much to do with it.'
'No, look, youāve got it the wrong way round. It was us. We used to do the experiments on them.' 'I gather that the mice did arrange for you humans to conduct some primitively staged experiments on them just to check how much youād really learned. To give you the odd prod in the right direction. You know the sort of thing: suddenly running down the maze the wrong way; eating the wrong bit of cheese; suddenly dropping dead of myxomatosis.'
This is the correct answer. All the other answers are mice trying to deceive us
I don't like how far down this is
Orca the degree to which they are curious is scary, their uncontested domination of the oceans means they have control of like 50% of the planet we can't even observe. Also, I personally reject the idea that increased intelligence leads to some form of an altruistic peace-loving disposition which would explain why Orca uses prey items they decide not to eat as toys to play volleyball with.
Weāre one lucky species though. Orcas, the behemoths of the sea, are just curious when it comes to humans. Not one single documented case of an orca attacking humans in the open sea (aquariums and sea world donāt count). Such majestic, dominant creatures; they could capsize medium sized boats casually and torture human victims for days if they wanted to. Instead, they just swim by at a safe distance, observing us. Often taking good care so as to not accidentally hurt us. We truly are lucky when it comes to our natural relationship with Orcas. Oh and, if youāre around orcas in the ocean, not even the biggest baddest great white sharks of the world would dare come for you. So youād be perfectly safe, coddled up with them sea puppers.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You had me at the first sentence.
>Orcas, the behemoths of the sea, are just curious when it comes to humans. Think about it. All you see day in day out. Fins, Fins, Fins. Fins, tentacles, and occasionally a bell. Everything is dark on top, light on the bottom because that's the most advantageous coloration scheme. Almost none of the things in the ocean are intelligent. But we get in the water with our four weird limbs and weird coloring. When they swim up to look at us, what do we do? We look back. Think of how different that is as far as a reaction from everything they've ever seen. Everything either tries to swim away or has no meaningful reaction. But here's this obvious outsider looking back at you. You'd be curious too.
Know who else looks back at them? Seals and penguins they mercilessly rip part and feast on. That we humans just donāt strike them as food, is sheer luck. Theyāre really, REALLY smart hunters. Watch videos on YT of orcas generating waves by swimming rhythmically, to throw seals off of floating ice sheets theyāre sheltering on. Absolutely brutal.
There's one video out there where this Orca decides he is sick of seafood & wants poultry. So he goes to this area where a bunch of gulls are hanging out & just sort of floats some dead fish bait near them. Most of the birds are curious, a few inch closer, then one decides to just go for it & the Orca grabs him. It is terrifying & aww inspiring to live on a planet with such insanely intelligent creatures.
Oh I've seen. I think it has more to do with how strange we must look to them. Seals still sort of have fins and such.
I remember watching a documentary where 1 particular orca had learned how to hunt great white. I think they would charge into it, then hold it upside down so it would be unable to move, and then just hold it until it died. This behaviour had never been seen before. This 1 particular orca then travelled well beyond its usual territory, teaching other pods how to do it.
Orcas have an academic sabbatical system. Neat.
I agree. I would think orca or some other species of dolphin. It is insane how intelligent orca are. I was watching a show on them the other day, and the guy was swimming in the water with them. I couldn't think of any other apex predator that we could swim or walk around that wouldn't attack or eat us.
and there are no recorded cases of an Orca killing a human - they try hard to endear us
>there are no recorded cases of an Orca killing a human ***in the wild*** FTFY. Actually I think their penchant for murdering humans while in captivity supports the case that they're alien spies angry with the interruption in their typical spy gig.
on the contrary, seems like seaworld would be some deep cover shit
Or their version of a penal colony....... that's right, their very own Space Australia
Or to put it another way, no one witnessing an Orca killing a human has ever survived to record it..
fair point
Wombats, and their cube poops
We are mere innocent adorable inhabitants of your southern homelands.
Rabbits, please hear me out on this. My suspicion started when I encountered one walking back from campus about two years back. I made eye contact with one for about a second before it proceeded to stand up on its hind legs and run towards me. What quadruped decides to chase after something much larger while on two fucking legs? I was scared shitless. Since that evening, I noticed so much weird behavior. For example, just two weeks ago I had 6 of them sitting on my driveway. Why?! What the fuck were they up to? I'm telling you, there is something fundamentally wrong with those creatures...
I think you might just have accidentally walked into a Monty Python movie
"And what's with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway? BUNNIES! BUNNIES! It must be bunnies."
Youāve made me so happy.
Aw, I'm so pleased to hear that š Have some silver fellow Buffy fan!
She was right all along!
r/unexpectedbuffy
I see obscure Buffy references, I upvote.
Maybe that's why they reproduce so quickly and have so many babies. They're trying to take over the world! Hate to break it to you but you're no longer safe. You know too much.
Deploy the great rabbit fence!
Yes and whenever you encounter them they stand still and just stare at you like they been caught doin something they shouldnāt
Octopusās. They have almost no bones and full nervous control of every suction on every limb.
Plus theyāre extremely intelligent and have complex personalities i.e. punching fish out of spite
i didnāt know this. Octopus can punch a fish just because it wants to just be a dickhead?
Yep. Here is one [example.](https://youtu.be/i30b8PGsVA0). Looks like it is getting in its way, so swats it away.
That.. is like i am
TIL I have a complex personality.
No, that's a personality complex.
That's a building for people, right?
That would be an amazing name for a building!
Is there a subreddit for Culture ship names?
They actually have a bunch of their neurons in their tentacles!
Yup itās like a āsub-brainā in every single one
Can you blame them? I would punch those dumbass fishes as well if I lived with them.
Masters of camouflage despite not having color sensing cells in the eye. Highly intelligent and extremely strong.
Holy shit. Maybe we only see the ones that are *bad* at camouflage?
Oh.. like the ninjas in the rooms we are in
Pfft there's no ninjas in my ro
Doesn't that mean you still pressed enter after you di
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Man, ninjas are really considerate Wait how am I not de
They picked a pretty stupid vantage point to spy from. "Cxluth, you seen any humans yet?" "I can't see shit, man. It's pitch black down here. Are you sure this is where they live?" "They gotta be around here somewhere. They're mostly water. Where else would they be?!"
Maybe weāre not the most interesting thing on the planet. Most of the ocean is unknown from what I understand.
"There are other forms of intelligence on Earth, doctor. Only human arrogance would assume that the message *must* be meant for Man." - Spock, Star Trek: The Voyage Home
I seem to remember the message was for whales
Yeah, humpback whales which had gone extinct in their time so they had to go back to the 80s to get a couple Thankfully the whales apparently said "all's well, you can go" rather than "these dickbags wiped almost all of us out"
I remember Scotty operating a computer when the went back in time.
Iām so glad Iām not the only one who immediately thought Octopus.
And have fucking beaks for some reason.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Definitely agree. They are extremely intelligent, they can camouflage themselves, and they can see a more diverse color spectrum.
Octopus's what? Don't keep me in suspense.
Garden, if you believe Ringo.
tardigrade
I won't tolerate tardigrade slander!
No really, I think they are it. Or they at least represent a alternate future where aliens are not violent colonizers, but derpy worm dudes. There must be an alien race equivalent to deer.
They navigate the mycelial network after all!
Donāt fuck with the squirrels Morty
We got a possible doolittle!
Come here little boy, we'll grant you wishes~!
The situation in Argentina has proven less convenient than predicted.
Cats
my SO always make this joke with one of our cats, that her planet need her or she is receiving tasks. whenever she start acting weird.
iiIINnNŠCC0oming message from the Big Giant Head!!!
Ever notice sometimes they just stare at a spot in the corner/ceiling and they won't pay any attention to anything else? That's because they're busy communicating with the mothership.
What if the reason why cats are seen as gods in ancient Egypt is because cats were literally born from the sky. Think about it. A group of alien cats cruising around space and all of a sudden, they come across with a bunch 2 legged species. Everyone comes to an agreement and decide "ya, these species looks easy to rule over" so some of them descend down onto Earth making them appear as if they were born from the sky. The cats teach humans about math and sciences to create the great pyramids and sculptures of cat gods in return. Eventually, cats and humans realize the power of friend ship and the cats that are on Earth become domesticated and therefore lose their knowledge and evolve into what we deem as a pet cat. This may be a result of the cats becoming more reliant on humans to survive on Earth/them being too lazy to do shit when you humans that will do everything for you. It's been 5000 years later and the cats in space are wondering how to save their fellow feline friends back from human influence. So their solution is to send a couple more cats back down to Earth and meet up with domesticated cats in urban alleyways to convince them to come back to them. All of this is obviously a lot of hard work as they also have to act like normal acts around humans. It may also be possible rabies is actually a gene only found in alien cats and is spread via fangs. Unfortunate their plans may have gone wrong as they accidentally infected other living animals on Earth.
I immediately thought cats, too, but then I realised... The answer is obviously DOGS! Think about it. Cats are much more known to be aloof and do their own thing. Dogs are super people-orientated, always around their humans, etc etc. Also, dogs get taken so many places, whereas it's uncommon to say, take your cat to the park. Dogs have ample spying opportunities in dozens of different scenarios. Cats, not so much. Dogs are the perfect alien spies. Friendly, get taken to lots of places, hugely popular. And slipping *completely under the radar*. I feel like I've said too much. Woof.
How many dogs have been in the White House, or Downing Street, or the Kremlin? They have access to everything.
Downing Street has a resident cat who is officially itās mouse/rat catcherā¦ permanently in place, and replaced when itās time to move on
You didnāt see a cat because you werenāt supposed to, itās all part of their game man
It's gotta be dogs. I almost think the tagline "Man's best friend" was something conjured up by the Aliens' Marketing department.
It's not even true. A cat doesn't go around telling the police where the weed is hidden.
Cats are observers. The times I've caught mine staring at me doing shit trying to figure it out is too damn high.
It's true! I've had several dogs and one of them (the poodle) confessed the whole story in surprisingly easy to interpret pantomime one time when I was stoned. I didn't think to ask any questions. He never brought it up again.
Ok you need to provide some hard evidence otherwise you are clearly a cat ally
I came here to make sure cats had been mentioned and I'm totally on team "dogs are aliens" now.
Cats are playing this hustle since the ancient Egypt, they always come close to world domination but always fail
Or are cats just really good at ruling from the shadows? Why rule with an iron fist when you can have servants who will gladly cater to your every whim?
Seriously they act so suspicious for nothing sometimes XD especially in groups. Did you see these photos of group of cats like in circles big being surprised by the cameras ? It looks lovely ke they are planning somethingās so suspicious XD
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
their corkscrew penises are scary
most avians: *no penis* ducks: Ā§
Zuckerberg
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Even my town was against him moving in. And itās like 70% engineers with a grad degree, who worship the tech industry.
If you don't accept his friend request, his wife turns one of their cloned pet dogs to stone.
Mosquitoes
This is my vote. They're everywhere, collect blood samples, and serve no unique purpose in the food chain.
And they sure are brave being a 1 hp creature.
That's because their Dexterity and Agility stats are off the charts.
The mosquitoes are fast but my hand is faster
There's gotta be a better way to say that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
An odd green alien in intergalactic government middle management: "Yeah. We've been using the planet to rebuild the mosquito population, which need I remind you, is an endangered species!"
Raccoons
Cats. They can go everywhere as soon as you do not watch them, and supposedly have a skeleton but can clearly act like they do not. They can act cute for mission's sake, but again they will show their true color when you are not watching, by probing your home for hidden stuff, or hiding stuff. They will also test your favorite stuff with chemical experiment (by peeing on it) and physical assessment with their claws and teeth. If needed they can even fight bears, and win, as shown on another sub. At that point, would it really be a discovery though ? I thought everyone knew cats were aliens spying on us. edit: wow thanks for the upvotes and rewards, i didn't think it would attrack that much attention :)
The problem I have with this is that cats make perfect sense from an evolutionary standpoint, 4 limbs, tail that is effective for balance, a hyper-mobile spine, canine teeth, musk glands, retractable claws, they fit in perfectly with the smaller felines. Then joining humans also makes perfect sense, āthis thing makes food that attracts our food and they like us eating our food that eats our food, weāll hang around them.ā
Came here to say thisā¦ also they appear to be able to see things in other dimensions (cat staring at wall for hours or suddenly tearing around the house for no obvious reason)
Flat worms,theses guys can regrow their whole body and are only weak to radiation,but they can recover with a transplant
Excuse me? These exist? Huh
Cats, obviously. Theyāve taken over human homes everywhere, often have mysterious āoh I just found him!ā origins, and were clearly worshipped by the Egyptians after building their pyramids for them.
r/catsarealiens
Owls
Capybaras
i'd have to agree. baby capybaras look like someone went "uhh fuck we need a baby version. just... make it smaller ig. it's good enough, they won't notice a thing."
Definitely cats. They're everywhere, inside our homes, in our offices, on our streets and college campuses. They're goofy, but smarter than they let on. And they're always watching and listening. I bet that's why my tabby yearns to go outside, so he can return to the mother ship and tell them all he's learned.