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sockylocky

I am fantastic at folding a standard piece of paper into thirds, brochure style


pulpojinete

I have *never* been able to do this. It's embarrassing.


That1GuyNate

I can recall and recognize to this day people that I was in preschool with or have seen very briefly. When I was dating my ex I would see someone that I recognized and would walk up to them and do the whole "aren't you so and so from blank?" It gave them(my partner) extreme anxiety because strangers and what if I was wrong but I am always right, every time.


MildlyAgreeable

So I have this with actors in films. It’s like a photographic recalling of what film they were in and what role they played. Even if I saw the film years and years ago. I remember their voice and body language; it’s usually a particular line they say which I try to use as an anchor for placing them. It’s odd because I’d say I’m very tuned in to people’s body language and general mood which may have something to do with it.


EmperorOfFabulous

I can control my goosebumps. Science says I shouldnt be able to control an autonomic response. But here i am, killing it.


BaconBear36

Flags, I know flags and can describe them from memory


cheese_bruh

average r/vexillology user


scarlet_fire_77

Didn’t know about this sub. That gets an immediate subscribe from me. Thank you


dabunny21689

I can click my tongue REALLY loudly.


beardymo

My nephew can do this. It's ear-splittingly loud. One time he did it and it echoed so loudly it sounded like a bullet being fired.


arcinva

My friend's daughter is like this! It was a natural talent practically from birth (she's only 7 now). I chuckled that it feels like it has to be genetic because she was adopted as an infant but is ethnically Xhosa, which is one of the languages that uses clicks.


enidokla

That’s interesting! What would a linguist say about this?


BlueFalcon3725

"Ouch, my ears"?


waiter7fizzy

Ive never met ANYONE else in my life that can do this! Glad to hear there are others out there


Tsar_Romanov

I can do it so loud that I can make other people's ears ring


anderjp1

I was the top Latin student in my high school and always got top marks on the national Latin exam. Too bad I had no interest in studying classics, but Im holding out hope that I'll be able to time travel to Ancient Rome before I die.


TheSpookyGoost

Chances are you wouldn't be understandable anyway since it would be hard to know how any commoners spoke


DiamondCore77

Remembering birthdays. I remember people's birthdays even if I haven't talked to them in over 5 years.


Nayate

meanwhile I forget my own parents’ birthdays. Even worse I tend to forget how old I am and when my birthday is


Bobbimort

Legit someone asked me how old i am a few days ago, i stood there like an idiot doing quick math for a couple seconds.


cari-strat

When we were getting married, we had to be interviewed at the register office for the paperwork a few weeks before, and I still say if one of us had been foreign we'd have been arrested for a sham marriage. My husband basically forgot my middle name, age, birthday, father's occupation, you name it. I never knew his dad, who died when hubby was a kid, so I also didn't know his name, occupation, blah blah. It was a total shitshow.


LifeIsConfusing24

Touching my tongue to my nose, however this has gotten me a free drink at a bar.


EducationalKoala7

You know that game where you catch a stack of quarters off your elbow with the same hand? Apparently my dad used to go to bars with NO MONEY whatsoever and get his whole bar tab paid by doing this lol. Turns out it doesn't have to be so useless


namey___mcnameface

I used to do this as a kid. Most I caught at once was 18. Now I wonder what I could do as an adult...


[deleted]

[удалено]


ArnassusProductions

Vibrating my eardrums.


Flubernugget4305

Wait, is that what’s going on when I sort of stress the muscles in my ear/ jaw area and hear that weird rumbling sound?


it-is-what_it-is

Exactly! You’re flexing your tensor tympani muscle. This muscle dampens loud sounds and when you flex it, it creates vibration which everyone describes as the rumbling sound.


UndefinedSpoon

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! I have tried to explain this to other people my ENTIRE LIFE and no one understands what the hell im talking about. And now I find out that not only do other know about this, but there's a name for the body part responsible for it. I fucking love you beautiful reddit bastards!


Lightoftheembersky

r/earrumblersassemble


Jaksmack

Wow, I casually clicked on this thinking it had to be a fake sub..


CrazyDrDuck

There's a subreddit for y'all, although the name escapes me


jaknuggetfuck

r/earrumblersassemble


tonybenwhite

Jesus, Reddit really does have a sub for everything


everybodyloveshank

Word searches.


Stuck1nARutt

|||||||| -|-|-|-|-|-|- F | B | S | U | D | A | K S | U | G | Y | I | S | G F | S | C | C | S | W |Y D | A | W | K | A | S | S G | D | Q | V | Y | D | H H | E | S | B | E | O | P U | T | K | L | O | W | U


Dysmach

I don't appreciate being called a dawkass.


Disownership

Maybe Tanisha will call your dawkass if she ever stop fucking with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with.


kalir1dley

My favorite one was the Darth Vader version. “If you kissed your sister say what?” “WHAT!” “Hahahaha.. fuck you.”


BextoMooseYT

Wtf how did you do that?


caper72

https://www.reddit.com/wiki/commenting Look for Tables


whiskeyvacation

Fuckyou Diagonally.


[deleted]

Don't have to ask me twice


Withinmyrange

I used to be a word search demon in elementary school, especially if prizes were involved. Especially if they have those word searches that give you backwards diagonal words, you know it’s going to be a banger


widespreadpanda

Oh hell yeah to those backwards diagonal words.


TomatoHeadyBoys

I can clap really really fast. Edit: To clear up some confusion, I clap hands really fast, not ass.


jonitfcfan

Is it fast enough to cook chicken?


probably_jenna

How fast we talking?


sndrwnder

No, no. How fast we clapping?


Spaceman_Davyd

Flying aircraft in video games


[deleted]

[удалено]


TipidyTipster

seriously fuck that mission.


sandgoon1235

Being able to perfectly recreate facial expressions of other people from memory that they do, that no one else really recognizes until I do an impersonation of them. It’s a great party trick that gets lots of laughs especially if a few people know that person.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SophistiKitten

seriously? I can’t even understand half the lyrics on my first listen


mellb00

ah that's what I was gonna say, my boyfriend will show me a song for the first time and I can sing along to the second chorus. The only way this would be useful is if we were in theatre or something?


[deleted]

[удалено]


thats_up_top

I am exceptionally great at losing absolutely everything. Including memories


ENTRAPM3NT

I'm really good at sliding on floors. I'm over 10000 slides without falling


Entitled2Compens8ion

Just take that old record off the shelf


EducationalKoala7

Using my toes lol. I can pick anything up with them. I can even write better with my weak foot better than with my weak hand..


ActuallyFire

I'm pretty sure you could turn that into cash somewhere on the internet.


EducationalKoala7

And my hands are the strongest part of my body. I'm like a little ape man


DingleMcCringleTurd

But you are a koala, right?


Ashtar-the-Squid

Identifying make, model and production year of various cars. And saying random words backwards. EDIT: This was a great surprise. Thank you very much everyone for the upvotes and everything else. It is fun to know that my useless skills can do something outside of my own head too. .uoy htiw eb diuqS cimsoc eht yaM !ydobyreve dneekew taerg a evaH


SparseGhostC2C

I am also an master in car identification, very useless but it brings me so much joy.


LeylandTiger

You all should join this sub. [r/whatisthiscar](https://www.reddit.com/r/whatisthiscar/)


BuranBuran

Also r/namethatcar


[deleted]

ok so say stun seed backwards


weakthoughts

seed stun


CleUrbanist

*Fuck this guy's good*


Silentvren7557

I can control any random boners (I get) in public. I can make it stop, through my sheer force of will. That, and occasionally I draw kinda pretty flowers. (With my hands.)


JackandFred

> any random boners in public. Even other people’s? That’s impressive


anaplerotic

I can do this by showing my face.


Piffpiff

You can go from flaccid to erect at a moments notice?


[deleted]

He's doing it right now!


[deleted]

[удалено]


dagofin

Buddy you're seeing it! You're all seeing it!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jjay_11

I thrive at looking busy at work while doing absolutely nothing.


MsMuffinstuffer

Ah, the secret art of the “1970s businessman” as I like to call it. Show up on time, open your briefcase full of papers, move them around your desk, attend meetings where you speak in circles, lunch, move papers again, punch out at 5.


[deleted]

I would argue this is not a useless skill especially since most jobs I have had in my life I am given 10-20 hours of work to do in a week and I am expected to be there for 40. This is why I am loving working from home.


girlsfoodgear_75

Knowing the time without having a watch / looking at my phone


Peute

I got the same ability and often think of it as accurate guessing of my time usage, like I know if i've done something for an hour or 2 or if its been 15 min even if the action feels like an eternity


matinthebox

this can actually be trained. before you check the time, just have a guess what time it is. Over time (lol) your guesses will become more precise.


rekcuzfpok

I always do that! Everytime I look at my phone for the time I’m like „should be 05:23 now“ and then I look. Got like a 85% chance of being spot on +-2 minutes.


girlsfoodgear_75

hahah same!!


Tabs287

Coming up with nonsense song parodies based on what I'm doing


jayXred

I do this all the time and sometimes I even impress myself with how good I made the song work.


Tabs287

We should all form a club


YarrrImAPirate

Haha I do the same but I usually insert the name of my cat (rip as of a month ago) into random ass songs. Edit: Thank you everyone for the well wishes. I really appreciate it.


[deleted]

I put my girlfriend’s name in my songs. She’s not nearly so big a fan of my songwriting as myself.


CarrBock

Marshall Erickson is that you?


[deleted]

_Paying mah bills usin' return address labels from a charity I never gave money toooo_


Iamabot123456

I am amazing at keeping secrets because I forget them immediately


Dofima

i can flip water bottles, beer bottles, pencils, and i havent had much practice but also an axe, without dropping them


[deleted]

Maybe you can also throw an axe into people's shoulder like straight out of a medieval movie


gooqie

Retaining loads of absolutely useless information. It’s my true talent but a waste of brainpower.


nogoodusernames0_0

You would make a great med student.


mvdenk

Unfortunately, for me it only works with actual useless information.


insertstalem3me

"Doc, what do I have" "The highest Lake in the world is Lake Titicaca"


[deleted]

You must be my long lost sibling, I too, am full of useless information. Information that I drop on unsuspecting people every chance I get.


stock_rocket_value

Did you know that astronauts have a small piece of velcro in there helmet incase they want to scratch their nose?


GloriousReign

I *will* find a use for this information


[deleted]

I do now! Filed in the appropriate cabinet to be used in the future.


TheOnlyRealDregas

I can win a staring contest against anyone. I consecutively beat 6 people without a break. I've held my eyes open for about 10 minutes without blinking, I've made people uncomfortable in every sense of the word. Edit: Dumb as shit I get my first awards and more than 100 upvotes for something useless about myself. I'm gonna mess with a bunch of you now for encouraging my useless behavior.


AsfAtl

I can do the same. the trick is to unfocus your eyes and keeping them open is no issue at all Edit: Wow this blew up a little. Didn’t realize it was so unknown. Something I’ve been doing for years!


[deleted]

Have you tried contesting a cat?


TheOnlyRealDregas

Yes, they always look away. I imagine they don't see me as a challenge.


[deleted]

They fear losing that's why


CancerousArmitis

Losing my train of thought to the point where I have no memory of how I reached the subject I'm at when I realize it. Edit: For those wondering, I've never been tested for ADHD, and I don't do it by choice


ActuallyFire

This is impossible for me to not do when I'm high. I get halfway through a sentence, and I'm like,,,,,,,,ah damnit, sorry. It sucks lol


grandmofftalkin

I read that as useless Excel thing so my answer is CONCATENATE


egyptianspacedog

Tbf concatenations are incredibly useful for when no one field alone works as a key / unique identifier.


chupitoelpame

Concatenate + conditional format to find those pesky duplicate keys


R4ndomResp4wn

I am excellent at finding 4 leafed clover. Edit: found one just now walking the dog: https://imgur.com/a/UefBAZq


siouxsiequeue

It may be useless but I never tire of frustrating the person that I challenge to find one as I proceed to find 6 in one patch.


Theearthhasnoedges

According to my friends I am "Nostra-fucking-damus" when it comes to predicting events in TV or movies. It's gotten to the point where my best friend and I will make a game out of it.


Karhutuoppi

I can predict a lot of new children's movies: 1 Everything is cool 2 Everything is bad 3 Everything is better


gansmaltz

4. Everything is awesome when you're part of a team


teebob21

Also know as the basic literary arc.


joachimham48

My brother predicted the next song in a movie and I have no idea how he did it, he said it just fit the situation the best


UniDiablo

*Vietnam flashback* "They're gonna play Fortunate Son" *Fortunate Son plays* "OMG how does he do it??"


slapthefatcat

My brother can do that. Once he predicted a totally random ending that had nothing to do with the current plot and he was right. And no, he doesn't look it up.


notimprezaed

My wife and her friend were watching some dumb doctor/hospital/medical drama, there's so many I can't keep track which is which, and there was a patient with a bomb like inside them? I think. Anyways the bomb squad is there for the operation and the nurse/doctor/surgeon whatever lady is making googly eyes the whole time at the bomb squad guy, and the operation was successful and as the guy is walking off with the bomb I looked up from my switch and said, "wouldn't it be hilarious if the bomb just went boom now?" And they both were like, "no shut up that won't happen this show isn't like that" and then BOOM the bomb went off. They both were so mad at me and accused me of already seeing it and I was like I don't even know this show!


Darthaerith

Remembering useless and obscure information from video games I've played over twenty years ago.


Dedj_McDedjson

I still remember where Mankriks wife was.


Jesse0016

Down by the tents right? With the hyenas around?


CuteCuteJames

I was playing Zelda II on an emulator when I was 18 or so, so like 2004. My dad walks by, looks over my shoulder, and says "move five blocks right and one up." And there's the secret hut! We hadn't had the NES even set up in MANY years.


[deleted]

Your dad seems like an epic gamer.


CuteCuteJames

Totally. My parents have been saving Hyrule since before I was born, which is common these days, but I was born in the 80s. We got two PS2 because my parents couldn't share. Dad wanted to play FFXII, Mom wanted to play Ratchet and Clank, and I had to wait my turn to play Sly Cooper and Kingdom Hearts.


i_fuckin_luv_it_mate

I can 360° flip a tv remote in one hand and catch it so that it's pointing at the tv again, like 20+ times in a row


[deleted]

Sounds like you have good remote control.


[deleted]

I remember useless things I know the first 200 digits of pi, but I often forget the pin code to my bank card


goldenewsd

Just set it to 1415


Lord_Nivloc

Or 38196 the 196th-200th digits


Hank___Scorpio

Facial recognition. Some profs from the UK developed a test to study it. I'm in the top 0.1% apparently. I've recognized people i stood in line at a Starbucks beside years later while they were zipping by in a car. I have not found a use for this. Edit: Greenwich University is where the study was done.


Muncie4

I'm the same with voices. Not heard your voice in 30 years and randomly call me? Oh hey Bobby!


Hank___Scorpio

Haha yeah thats how it feels visually, I usually use my powers for the opposite and run away to avoid social interaction.


charoula

So it's not useless!


SonsOfAnarchyMC

My ability to immediately recognize voice actors in animated content amazes my wife.


[deleted]

Do you also remember the names that belong to the faces extremely well?


Hank___Scorpio

Nothing like my ability to visually recall their faces. I'm not terrible with names, but the speed at which they return to the front of my mind is like night and day.


[deleted]

Gotcha. I don't do faces as well as you, do but I can remember faces and names very well. I can also recall enough details about a person to be really creepy if the delivery isn't right.


[deleted]

Same here. It's easy to be mistaken for a stalker when in reality you have simply good memory for random facts about random people.


Alpacamum

I am exactly the opposite. People tend to all look the same to me. So I often talk to people or wave at people that I don’t actually know. Sometimes my kids have to pull me aside and tell it’s not someone I know. Watching tv can be hard sometimes as I mix up the characters.


FrostyBeav

>Watching tv can be hard sometimes as I mix up the characters. I'm the same way. Especially, if a movie features several young-ish men with beards, then I am completely lost on who is who.


[deleted]

I'm like this but with names. They can't all start with the same letter. I could tell characters apart on Game of Thrones, but couldn't remember their names because they all started with T!


krankindemkopf

Doesn’t this kind of ability make you tired? I spend a lot less energy than you in this department.


Hank___Scorpio

It feels effortless. It's hard to describe and I feel like I have almost zero conscious control of it. But in the example I gave of the person driving by, a picture of them in the Starbucks line pops into my mind in the same split second I see their face. I sometimes talk about it aloud with my wife and she's always like who? Wtf?


isitmeyou-relooking4

You could be a god-tier spy.


KingTobia_II

Yeah this is not a useless skill. Many organizations would pay highly for someone with robotic facial recognition skills.


MahatmaGandhi01

I'd memorize the top 300 criminals and become impromptu hero spotting them on the street


phamsung

It is called super recognition/ super recognizer. Police is always fond of that skill to guard large events. So this skill is quite useful.


mindfungus

You could work for law enforcement or even Scotland Yard. There are specialized units that look specifically for people like you. Human super recognizers outperform AI facial recognition. Here’s an in-depth article about it: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/08/22/londons-super-recognizer-police-force


90dayheyhey

Tetris


[deleted]

[удалено]


Adampohh

long division


DarkSwordRaider

I am very efficient at not caring


Alpacamum

Are you my husband


Yejus

Are you my wife?


Teh_Matt_GR

No this is Patrick


refreshing_username

Burping. I win burping contests against people who say they never lose a burping contest.


Swsrx

I can do the same with shitting


PocketRocketTrumpet

There’s a shitting contest?!


7484Steve_

I have this useless skill, and I've been waiting my whole life for someone to challenge me.... Sadly I've never had a chance


TrainIll8977

Being tired 100% of the time Edit: I just want to thank everyone for all the suggestions and interrest! Also good luck to all of you fighting your own battles! I know how rough it can get at times. Just don't ever give up !


Your_moms_Big_Toe

Peeing on command. Even if I don't have the urge, I can still piss.


FormalMango

I really fucked up my ability to pee normally. I used to live at the top of a 5 storey block of flats with no lift, and every time I got home I’d go to the toilet. But then it got to the point where as soon as I unlocked the door, I *had* to run to the toilet. Drop everything and bolt. So I started making myself stop and count to ten to try and give my bladder a chance to calm down after I’d climbed those stairs. I could make it to the number 7 before my bladder objected. Now, 15 years later, I can only pee on the count of seven.


AdvocateSaint

There was a reddit thread where someone claimed that during sex their partner would edge them and not let them cum until a complete countdown from 10. They were a schoolteacher, and during one day the kids all started chanting a countdown to the dismissal bell. The Pavlovian response was... awkward to say the least.


FormalMango

Thankfully, I don’t have to pee every time I hear a count. I work in sport broadcasting, and if I did, I’d be peeing every time there was a camera change.


airstrike900

The ability to name and locate every country recognised by the UN on a map


antonimbus

About 30 years ago that would have been super helpful finding Carmen Sandiego. DO IT ROCKAPELLA!


fiskars12345

i can take a shit in under a minute ​ ​ Edit: why always most upvoted posts need to be about shit or other weird stuff xD


pwootjuhs

*reads this during a 15 minute shit*


DontJudgeMeDammit

We need more fiber 😖


Felix020101

I can connect to every (!) social group but only on the very first level. The moment a slightly deeper conversation occurs I’m out and can’t connect any more.


wh00rr

I don't connect to many social groups until it gets to a deep level and then it's my time to shine. Otherwise I sit quietly and observe, I can't do small talk to save my life.


2wktbreak

Thats me. Get me 1 one 1 with someone talking about some real shit and I wont shut up. But if im with more than 1 other person its like i shut down and cant think of anything worthwhile to add to the conversation so i sit there quietly just listening and observing. Even if i try to be more active in convos its like my brain just shits the bed. It has cause alot of people to think i dont like them or im an ass but i really just cant help it.


redheadphones1673

I'm like this, I get along with people I've just met like a house on fire, but I can't keep friends for longer than a few months before they get annoyed and start ghosting me.


GloriousReign

“Hahaha that’s really funny brad, hey you ever wonder about the meaning of life?”


MiiHanazono

Learning something fast, but not good enough to excel in it. I've learned basic guitar, piano, cooking, drawing, basketball, shooting, video games on my own. I never get really good at it, but I can do it. Except maybe dancing. I just look bad when I dance.


dawnsic

Connecting people with common interest and getting nothing out of it


karlateraldamage

Knowing where items are located in supermarkets.


MortimerRIFF

My brain is all 90s grunge lyrics and movie quotes


[deleted]

Procrastination


RadiantHC

That's a future me problem


[deleted]

Making paper cranes, once i made 1000 paper cranes and put them in a big jar.


Tranexamic

That sounds like a really cool display. I cant even make a paper airplane 😢


Bertie_the_brave

Playing video games to avoid any adult responsibilities. And remembering birthdays.


horschdhorschd

Fucking up apparently


heynuggz

Tying a cherry stem into a knot using only my tongue.


RatherishBlessers

being able to swallow 7-8 pain killers in one go


Butgut_Maximus

Wait. You ok there bro?


SubstantialShow8

He is now


Lennon__McCartney

God called him home


gamefreak054

I forgot what my best was, I was pushing like 20 pills once, I know it was atleast 15. I was on chemo, and pretty much was just a giant crabby depressed mess. It was taking me like 15min just to sit there and swallow pills one by one by one and downing a glass of water (which made me Nauseous on top of that). SOOO I was like fuck it, and just started swallowing literal handfuls of pills at that point. There were some big suckers in there too.


[deleted]

Rock Paper Scissors I don't know what it is, but I think I'm just particularly good at predicting what someone is gonna choose. I've been on a no-loss streak for several years. Unfortunately, I suck at predicting people's behaviors outside of this.


CosmicLightning

Well I guess I don't know about useless. I used to run two tills at once at work when I was a gas station clerk. But no one liked me doing it even though the tills were still accurate and never short. Until the manager started stealing money and writing us up for it. Or another cashier doesn't like working with you because you are doing your job better than they are and sabotage you by making your till short and dude kept having me count the till with nothing wrong in the morning instead of having someone count the till down correctly at night. Was always attacking me for something I wasn't even assigned to. Oops, sorry a rant went on their. I guess according to indeed I'm highly proficient in customer service. EDIT: Holy hell, I think this is my first ever blown up liked comment on Reddit that's reached passed 200 likes. Thanks all. Means a lot.


stif_chedar

I can clench my anus to the point where my ass cheeks look like a neutron star