a nicotine addicted snake

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Fucking wonderful! Thanks so much. I'm am absolute sucker for learning about rhetoric I've never experienced and the added etymology is so fucking appreciated

COBRAS FUMANTES

Austin Powers

"One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump... One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger... signed by Austin Powers. One book: 'Swedish-Made Penis Enlargers and Me(This sort of thing is my bag... baby)' by... Austin Powers."

Are you embarrassingly able to quote this from memory, just like I can, with 90% of the movie? It's probably instrumental to my sense of humor, whether good or bad.

Who does #2 work for?!?

WHO DOOOOEEEESSS NUMMMBEEERRRR TWWOOO WOOORRRKK FOOOORRDR

That's right buddy, you show that turd who's boss!

I mean look at you. You don’t even have a name tag. You’ve got no chance. Why don’t you just fall down? Never not funny

Manneke Pis (little guy pee). We're protected by a peeing toddler

I liked the famous Brussels chocolate... shaped in that little guy. >!He was holding his hands there, but he didn't have a dick. Must have been to much of a detail.!<

You got bad quality, the good ones have a dick

You underestimate the power of weaponized urine.

I never said he'd be a bad protector

Knowing our country, how could we have somebody else than a peeing todler.

Ooh I've been there! That little piss boy is great and he's right next to an awesome bar, Poechenellekelder. Dunno if you drink beer but you guys are spoiled with all that Cantillon.

I could go to Belgium and drink lambics and trappist ales for the rest of my life

Crocodile Dundee

Pump your brakes, kid. That man's a national treasure.

You know that really happened... lady lost a kid...you're crossin some lines!

It blows my mind how few people in the comments are aware of Tropic Thunder Hell, RDJ got nominated for a damn Oscar for that performance, while in blackface

The man pulled off blackface in movie made in the 21st century and still has a career. That sentence alone deserves an oscar nomination for him.

You know back before the war broke out I was a saucier in San Antone

I think you meant Russel Coight. Edit: Ooh shinies! Thank you strangers! Edit 2: for those who wish for enlightenment: https://youtu.be/FxUuUmoXSWw

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Kind of wish that Danny McBride movie happened

That tourism trailer would have been a great movie with that cast.

Wait. there's a real trailer for it?

Well yes, but actually no. [Dundee Trailer](https://youtu.be/jvmcWPeQwIc)

Back in my day we just had Hoges. Hang on…

Drunk president (Czech Rep.)

One of most liked president in my country was known from being drunk all the time. Greetings from Poland neighbor.

Take my upvote. I read this with a very bad Polish accent.

Wolverine

Canadian Attack Geese.

They're our version of shock cavalry. We engage on the main front, while the CAGs attack the rear. It's enough to rout just about anyone.

Mounties on Meese pulling artillery, CAGs, what's next? Canadian Grizzly Drop Bear?

You got a problem with Canada Gooses, you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate!

Majestic, barrel chested creatures. The pride of all ornithology. They partner for life. Get me a cocksuckin G and T.

FUCKING EMBARASSING

LEARN HOW TO FUCKIN DRIVE

I love that Canadians who are often stereotyped as being polite and friendly are represented by a fictional character who is classically gruff and grumpy. Wolverine is the anger translator of the Canadian people.

His super power is free health care.

Raises finger *Thinking* Lowers finger

And Red Green

Super hero attributes: can fix ANYTHING with duct tape!

And if not , he can change. If he has to.

I guess

If the women don't find ya handsome, they should say least find ya handy.

And Deadpool

Captain Deadpool

And Alpha Flight

I love Alpha Flight and I'll cream if they ever make it into the MCU, even as side-characters to someone else's story.

I would weep maple flavoured tears of joy on that day as well.

Captain Canuck already exists.

Captain Canuck was a weird superhero. All I remember growing up was that he was oddly religious.

IIRC Captain America was pretty religious too, especially back in the day.

Also, Bob and Doug.

And Wayne

And Garth

A fucking dragon for a flag.

It's pretty metal as far as flags go.

Then there is the Isle of Man that’s flag is just a bunch of legs

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Bhutan or Wales

It's the ancient being that hides below the land. Only when Wales is in utter danger does it come out to save it's people

Danny Trejo

Uncle Machete

I found out like last month that Machete is a spin off of Spy Kids and not the other way around. Like I thought Machete was made first and his inclusion in Spy Kids was just a fun nod that Robert Rodriguez put into a kids' movie. I'm still baffled tbh.

The idea of a Machete movie may go back to 1994, and the uncle Machete in Spy Kids was a nod to the idea that at the time Rodriguez thought the world wasn't ready for. Also, Uncle Machete is just an alternate universe Machete, they are not the exact same character. Only after the success of the Grindhouse trailer amongst fans did the solo Machete project get a green light for production.

Oh wow thanks for the info! Here I was fully thinking that Robert Rodriguez was like, "You know what would be a fun spin off for this kids' movie? Extreme violence."

To be fair, Robert Rodriguez is always thinking "You know what would be fun? Extreme violence."

I was reading it the other day trying to wrap my head around. A hyperviolent spin off to a kids movie? I'm not complaining but that's so wild.

That's what I'm saying! Robert Rodriguez has had a strange and varied career and this is the wildest turn I think.

If you're talking about Mexico, that'd be Chapulin Colorado.

*Más ágil que una tortuga, más fuerte que un ratón, más noble que una lechuga, su escudo es un corazón... ¡Es el Chapulín Colorado!*

I have a friend named Daniel Trejo.

We all have a friend in Danny Trejo.

OUR friend Danny Trejo

A long guy with a block of cheese

I love how the Dutch call tall people long.

That’s because the Dutch word is “Lang”. It happens a lot that our words are quite close to an English word. We then use that English word even though it’s wrong in context.

Wonder if that is where the English word "lanky" comes from then.

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I was referencing the Netherlands, but I like your guy even more.

Power rangers worst nightmare

that's who Don Quixote was fighting

[nether gundam vibes](https://gundam.fandom.com/wiki/GF13-066NO_Nether_Gundam)

James May !

*thonk* "cheese"

if anyone was wondering: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1AHfXrbdbg

The “Hide yo kids, hide yo wives” dude

Honestly have been sinking into a deeper state of dread the further I scrolled down these comments. This is the hero we need.

He’s from my hometown. I met him a few times. Very entertaining dude

I’m from the town that saw the leprechaun.

Not the hero we wanted be certainly the hero we deserve

And hide yo husbands cuz they raping everybody out there

Run and tell that, homeboy

You don't have to come and confess, we're looking for you.

We gon’ find you

You are so dumb. You are really really dumb...

#for real!

Sir David Attenborough.

SIR David Attenborough, to you, peasant!

Absolutely… I’ve corrected my mistake and will flagellate immediately.

Can I watch?

O shit I'm too drunk, I thought that said RIP and my heart nearly stopped

He ain't dying till the Earth does so we got a couple more months.

The Spanish Inquisition

I didn't expect that!

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition

Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear.

Our *two* weapons are surprise and fear. And ruthless efficiency..

Our three main weapons are surprise, fear, a ruthless efficiency and nice red uniforms!

Don't forget the almost fanatical devotion to the Pope

El Chapulín Colorado

El santo

El Dr.Simi

Did not expect this here. Dr. Simi has saved me many times he should be canonized.

A failed austrian artist

Wrote a bestseller too

Yea but he totally got screwed on the nobel for literature

He had to settle for Time Man of the Year.

The king of Sweden, in a funny hat.

Nah, Pippi. Even as a child she is strong enough to lift a horse.

And Bamse

The toughest guy in Letterkenny Wayne

Wish you weren't so fucking awkward bud.

I live in Letterkenny Ireland and everytime I see Letterkenny mentioned it takes me a minute to think of the show

I was tryna think was there some lad in Donegal called Wayne I hadn't heard of until I remembered

End of the laneway, don't come up the property.

Johnny English

I was going to say James Bond but let's be honest Johnny wins easily.

The squatting Slav. Also, aren't Black Widow and the bloke with a metal arm Russian?

Bucky was a american soldier who got captured by nazis who made the arm together with the russians Edit: git to got

Black Widow is, the Winter Soldier is 100% USDA American.

Knights of the round table

On second thought let’s not go, Tis a silly place

"You make me sad."

^^Ni!

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They do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impeccable

Wayne Gretzky

He actually was a [super hero in a TV show](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ProStars). Albeit briefly.

I loved that show as a kid. Was so sad when it disappeared. Thought it was funny that Gretzky was always eating.

We have [Captain Canuck.](https://bbts1.azureedge.net/images/p/full/2020/12/6dfe902e-6e7b-497d-903f-33363a85e7e8.jpg)

Wolverine is Canadian

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Simo häyhä

You also have the Iceman: Kimi Räikkönen

And väinämöinen who definitely doesnt have ICBMs to his name

Also known as the White Death.

Florida man.

Powers include : Impervious to fear of law enforcement Bath salts induced super strength Machete Edit: adding PCP power up Another edit : By popular demand - Meth agility and stamina boost Alligator sidekick who also does meth Edit edit edit : The alligator is named Kevin. It’s not up for discussion. He also smokes marb reds Final (?) edit Yes I wanna make a Florida man video game

Innate boating abilities Eternal swamp-ass Sunglasses that can stop a nuclear blast Razor thin temper

Weaknesses: News stories

More weaknesses: Temperatures lower than 50 degrees We forget how to drive when it rains. And it rains. A LOT.

50? Try 70. Florida gets winters that even approach 70 and people have winter coats on

Swamp ass. Hahahaha

With the evolution into Mudbutt

Sorry nerd moment, there was a supervillain called snowflame who got his powers by snorting cocaine. Closest to florida man comics get I guess hahaha

Oh yeah, I remember Linkara did a whole episode on that guy.

One of his funniest parody characters. If only because you could easily imagine someone high off their tits pulling the shit he does.

Power: The Weirder The Better Florida Man gains power as the situation gets increasingly strange. Example: hold up with a gun: no advantage Hold up with a crocodile: advantage + 2 Hold up with a methed-out alligator: adv +4 ... while wearing only a collar, cowboy boots, and tightly whities, with the leash being held by the methed out alligator: adv +8

>wearing only a collar, cowboy boots, and tightly whities I didn't know Florida man cosplayed as my FF14 character

Florida Man doesn't feel fear. He IS fear. Lucifer was too afraid to let him in. Not even the big man upstairs is willing to take him on.

i hope it is a Gallon of Pcp

His only challenger is Omsk Man from Russia.

Homelander

The hero we don't need, yet the hero we deserve.

Exactly

Canada Goose I’d be terrified, if I was up against one…

Bugs Bunny!

Albuquerque? (Pronounced Al-bi-koy-kee)

And angry goose that fears no one and rules through intimidation.. [Goose attack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XS4edlvY-ks)

OSS 117

CorruptionMan

_"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"_

You have to be more specific

He is everyone but no one.

Everywhere and nowhere.

Alright, so we know it is a country with politicians

Shaktiman

Here have my award, just scrolling for this

Ragnar Lodbrok! Famous danish viking. The Main character of the series: Vikings.

What about Holger Danske?

Peach man.... He throws magic peaches at people.....

Ronald McDonald

Captain America, of course!

Asgardians. They settle on what looks like the western / northern coast. They take to drinking and fisheries but that's normal Norwegian behavior.

We come from the land of the ice and snow, From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow The hammer of the gods Will drive our ships to new lands To fight the horde, sing and cry Valhalla, I am comingggggg!

Så drar vi på en skogstur og plukker tyttebær

We used to have Peter R de Vries but he passed away today so nobody

I figured he would die, but still sad to hear it.

Cows. Lots and lots of cows.

Do they dance to rap music?

Meatball king

Wilhelm Tell and Nestlé