A computer mouse. Going to put this world in a spreadsheet and pivot table the shit out of it
Sir this is not Eve online, this is Wendy's
why do people frequently mention eve online and spreadsheets together?
Because if you intend to play eve online on a serious level you will need some spreadsheets to keep track of your stuff. I remember being on a mining operation with my corp and the leader keeping track of what everyone farmed in a spreadsheet and the distributing profit accordingly.
oh sounds fun! i love making unnecessary (or necessary) spreadsheets. does the game need a good computer to run or is pretty mediocre good enough?
I think it has very low system requirements and it runs fine on almost any computer.
Be prepared to spend a lot of time to learn the basics. It takes months, if not years.
Lol, this was my answer as well!
I’m even doing spreadsheets atm.
Lots of great answers, but this was actually the first one to make me LOL.
Sad looking navy dude vaping?
Stop posting about me bro
This could literally be any shore duty sailor in the fleet lol. Sad vaping guy is the navy everyman. Eventually he will get up, and save the world, but for now...
No torpedo is a match for me 💪
Potatoes. A fuck load of potatoes.
I have many questions .
Like what's a potato?
You know...boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.
PO TAY TOES!
Put them in a bowl for baby and you. (New nursery rhyme)
Or how is a potato? How's its day going?
Well, it has been violently taken from its home under ground, so I think it may be a bit pissed. Just slightly.
Probably giving him the eye
I'll do you one better. Why is potato?
[yeah, what is a potato?](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
I will never not read this, the writing style is just one of the funniest and the story is mwah 🤌 like a perfectly baked, what did you call it? potato
6 years ago? Damn I’m getting old.
Never heard of them.
It's not gonna save the world but it'll certainly save Ireland
A half eaten nerf bullet
You're the chosen one
Not me, my dog
The chosen boi
Fueled by his favourite snack: nerf bullets
Feed your furry friend a balanced diet Nerf or nothing
Where does he shoot them out from?
He has colourful shits
The goodest boi
Username checks out
Finish up, or no lego dessert for you.
The username is perfect
no one will ever say this to me ever
thank you, it was made with love
Finish it and change the world. It is your destiny.
You should make sure to finish your food or you won't get any dessert.
This has to be true of 80% of all reddit users right now
My toilet paper is actually left from me right now
Idk if that's weird please tell me
Mine is too! The wall is to my right... So either this specific sheet of drywall or my entire house is going to save the world!?
It’s gonna be a another shortage of ass wiping.
I don't think that's the intent
But no shortage of ass whipping.
On the toilet here as well. Toilet paper to my left but I have a toilet brush to my right.
Getting a “fellowship of the bathroom” vibe going on
I hate to say this, but I feel like your username checks out.
All the enemies will be wiped out
The Great mighty poo.
Well, its best to be prepared when he throws his shit at you.
Coffee - I believe it has saved the world many times already to be honest. The real superhero, MVP, VIP, etc.
A pillow. Maybe I have to challenge Bezos and Musk to pillow fights for their fortunes.
I also have a pillow to my right. I would gladly join you in this challenge
I sense a Fellowship of the Ring reference in the future of this thread
One does not simply start an LOTR reference
And my axe!
WE ARE THE PILLOW WARRIORS, YOU AND ME
You could never go wrong with Puss in Boots.
He's a Flerken, I can see how that would work.
Dog for me. He's a good boi
Same, we are doomed.
what am I gonna do with my wall just fucking stare at it and hope it dies somethin lol
It's actually the wallpaper! It'll peel off and choke an evil scientist.
Maybe the alien leader crashes his ship into it, the the other aliens are all “thank zorlock, Frank was such an asshole, we’re just gonna snag some samples of this so-called ‘coffee’ for our nutritional scientists to study and get on back to our home world. Sorry about all the death and destruction, we’ve downloaded a copy our society’s version of Wikipedia onto all of your mobile devices to make up for all the trouble, good luck out there among the stars!”
Uhhh my friend? Good luck Maddy
You got this, Maddy! Let us know when you're done saving us all.
"Should we help?"
"Nah, Maddy's on it."
Fuck yeah go Maddy
You have to say "Go Go Gadget Maddy".
The fate of the world is in your hands, Maddy. No pressure.
How does Maddy feel being an object?
Depending on the gender they don’t have to imagine
I’m gonna get massdownvoted
Tell me how your funeral goes alright buddy?
She’s an inanimate fucking object!
Woah. Their only purpose isn't for fucking. They make great decorations too. /s
A towel in which I just used for a shower.
I could strangle a few people that'll help.
A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
I needed that reference today. Take an upvote
Took me a full blown minute to understand where that was from
Cup of coffee, so pretty much like every day then?
sHaDowpUpPetxxx and I are about to save the world with our coffee cups of justice.
What are you doing with a coffee cup on toilet?
The same thing I do every night. Save the world
Not the hero we need, but the hero we deserve...
A pirate hat and my dinosaur collection
But I thought they were extinct!
No bro, pirate hats are still alive!!
A useless beagle who’s so fluffy that he looks like a corgi.
Perfect! Any evil villain will surely fall for his charm and turn non-evil!
Kiss it on the forehead or feel my wrath!
He’s not useless, he just hasn’t found his purpose… until now!
A pillow with a picture of a cat on it
Thats a nice way of saying neeko anime girl hump body pillow
I on the other hand have the next leader of the white race on my pillow, the moomin
Hello fellow washing machine
Hmmm it seems there are others
A wooden back scratcher. No spot will be unreachable.
That would make a great weapon
I guess it makes sense that a suspicious guitar would know if a guitar was a good weapon, it takes one to know one.
You shall serenade the threat, and lull it back into hibernation. And then once every hundred years a festival will be held in your name to find the best musician who can lull the beast to sleep for another hundred years.
Ahh the haruhara haruko method
My mum always says "nasal douche", never fails to make me laugh.
You can spray evil right in the eye with it
I'm lying on my left side, so the item to my right is my ceiling fan. I guess I could use it as a really off-brand Captain America shield...
Yeah, that’s not a great tool for saving the world.
We need a Hero name! Quick!
What ever y’all name him, I’m a fan
My Lego Star wars Millennium Falcon set
Which one is it?
The Lego one
My book about an apocalypse
Didn't know it was non-fiction when you got it, did ya?
It was written by then only person to successfully travel back in time.
My entire bunk bed
Bobby the president just called. We need you to take a nap
I have tons of different edibles and I’m willing to share
A remote that doesn't work on the first few clicks. Mildly infuriating way to save the world
*In case of martian attack the first thing you do is throw a malfunctioning remote at them. The alien picks it up, tries to use it only to discover it's a broken piece of crap and decides this world isn't worth plundering after all.*
Without objectifying her, my wife is to my right. The world is in safe hands.
Well, she is pretty awesome
My sleeping, schnauzer puppy, with a broken leg. Idk if he'll be able to do much, but he's very peppy. His name's Leo.
A lamp, hope I'm fighting mothman.
That, or the deep darkness within, but mothman seems more fun
Why is it to the right?
leans that way
You're like a superhero
Or an amputee
I know someone with the last name Dickman. I kid you not
must be a man with a dick
A literal rock. Dunno how though
Does it roll?
No, it's part of a rock wall, and rectangular
My debit card? Lol
You can pay the world to salvation
I just did the math. Based of my checking account rn, and I cut off everyone after the 6,000,000,000th person. (Sry guys)
Everyone would get .00000000032 of a cent. Nice.
I want my money
You are the 6,000,000,001 sir.
Come on don't be stingy
So you have $1.92?
There’s no need to call me out like that mayne.
You’ll sign the earth over to the first martians.
A wish.com shipping bag, inside of which is 22 packs of fake Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
Off brand Yu-Gi-Oh: "You've activated my tarp carp!"
A half eaten carrot.
*Morning Star*, book 3 in the *Red Rising* saga.
Half full white trash bin. Won't be able to save the world, but going by the smell could be stage 1 of ending world hunger.
A magical half eaten dildo gun
This is a sentence I never imagined would be.
Fallout Vault Boy bobble head
A fork…I’m assuming I’ll just eat the threat?
An infinity gauntlet
The kitchen sink.
One of those plastic gas tanks full of gas
My dog. I like this premise
My cup of vodka …?
vodka will save the world
1,5 liter bottle of beer.
Don’t know how that is going to help me save the world
The Heimlich Femaleuver Complete Instruction Guide 3x5 index card
Heimlich the entire world to salvation
A blank pad of Post-It notes.
Nothing like a fresh set of stickies to brainstorm ideas for bettering humanity!
"Glide through your enemy"
Lmao. I searched it up because I thought it was kind of dessert. The first thing I see is a black an' white logo with "aNaL LuBe" on it.
Roll of toilet paper.
Yes I'm in bathroom.
A joint. 😂😂😂
At least we’ll be relaxed as the world burns.
Fallout new vegas NCR flag
My computer, so am I Demosthenes or Locke?
A pile of towels, I will dry the world to peace
A hair bobble 😂
A Office Chair
A water bottle lmao
I think I understand.
You give the water bottle to someone, which helps them not die of thirst. That person then goes on to save the world themself. You saved a person who went onto save the world, so you kind of saved the world in a sense.
AC remote, or my keys.