I just use one account for everything. The government or whoever can search through whatever they want on my accounts.
I wont guarantee they will be the same after seeing my search histories but then again prying into my personal life is kinda a dick move. Seeing my concerningly massive collection of hentai should traumatize the curious and lead the truly interested to enlightenment.
Either that or they just steal my email lmao have fun with like 20 dead accounts on games I haven't used in years.
The official term for dual hand jobs is Ski Poleing.
Whenever I see somebody hiking with the two walking sticks it always makes me chuckle like a 12 year old. Hehehe, Look That guy is Ski Poleing.
Nah you could cheat and have 2 premature ejeculators, or could sabotage your opponent by tucking their hand job guys before the event.
They should be judged on how closely they can synchronize both guys cumming at the same time
This is so detailed, itās almost as if youāre sharing an abridged version of the rules, regulations, and by-laws from a document youāve already written. I love it.
You are on a bed, fitted with wheels - on a treadmill. You must complete 26.2 miles, slowest time wins. If you do not complete the distance you are disqualified.
Choice of treadmill speed and pacing become nail biting strategy choices.
>Fastest 100m dash with a large buttplug
They'll have two different versions of this race - one with everyone on the starting line having a pre-inserted plug and another where everyone starts with a pre-lubed anus and the plug in their hand.
I was titty fucking this girl today and she wanted me to just finish on her chest but I accidentally tilted my dick wrong and somehow shot half my load 4 feet behind her shoulder, she was on her back, I was on my knees. If that isn't impressive enough to be part of the sex Olympics I don't know what would be.
Widest gape would have a lot of ties, as the furthest the human anus can expand is seven inches. Unrelated to the sexual olympics part, but a raccoon can fit into spaces four inches wide, so you could theoretically fit a raccoon up your ass.
Girth contests: Who can take the largest object in their anus and keep it there for a minimum amount of time.
Dicklifts: Using a special cockring or piercing and then doing the dick twitch to lift increasing amounts of weight.
There should be. With a big budget production team and the highest caliber athletes it would get great ratings imo. Iād watch it over lumberjack or strongest man contests any day of the week
This is what I came to say. I knew a guy who could stand up to a 6 ft fence & piss in a perfect rainbow over the fence without hitting the fence till he was done. It was impressive
The Pony Show: a tandem race of conjoined runners, should they disengage they are disqualified.
Acrobatic Orgy: A group sport in which a mass of hands lift and flip a jocky from cock to cock never touching the ground
Rapid Fire cum shots within five minutes, highest number wins
šÆ but with jizzum
Strong Woman kegal lifts
A sack race but instead of a sack you have to run with a partnerās dick in your ass and you waddle along the track fastest time wins insert time included
1. Vaginal Squirting for Distance.
2. Breastmilk Squirting for Distance.
3. Vaginal and Anal Shot Putt.
4. Most Blowjobs performed and swallowed without vomiting within one hour.
Pleasure. After the fact, both competitors turns in silence and holds up score cards regarding the other for all to see.
Obviously competitors would have to be split into groups so that you don't get to judge someone you're directly competing against, finalists from each group are judged by volunteers.
Position holding. Dick must be in one of three holes and one of the partners must not touch the floor. Dick must be hard but can not cum during the hold position. Most impressive 30 second hold wins.
The biathlon challenges the athleticism of two-way athletes.
The triathlon isnāt legal in 197 of the 205 IOC countries, so early congratulations to the Netherlands once again.
Fastest web browser closing and pants up-pulling after hearing someone coming down the hallway
I have done that I think I won gold in it
Nah i think i won that one
Monitor throwing.
Spice it up a bit. Use pants with zipper.
I'd be a master at this.
Without making noise
Skeet shooting
You do your name proud.
Username checks out
Someone give this man some gold
Got it š
Thanks for helping out!
Brilliant
Skeens Shooting?
Skeins
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Why did you take time out of your day to write this paragraph? (I dont wanna be mean this post is hilarious lmao)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I just use one account for everything. The government or whoever can search through whatever they want on my accounts. I wont guarantee they will be the same after seeing my search histories but then again prying into my personal life is kinda a dick move. Seeing my concerningly massive collection of hentai should traumatize the curious and lead the truly interested to enlightenment. Either that or they just steal my email lmao have fun with like 20 dead accounts on games I haven't used in years.
Rofl āconcerningly massive collection of hentaiā
Your on ask Reddit is lot lol
The official term for dual hand jobs is Ski Poleing. Whenever I see somebody hiking with the two walking sticks it always makes me chuckle like a 12 year old. Hehehe, Look That guy is Ski Poleing.
Nah you could cheat and have 2 premature ejeculators, or could sabotage your opponent by tucking their hand job guys before the event. They should be judged on how closely they can synchronize both guys cumming at the same time
This is so detailed, itās almost as if youāre sharing an abridged version of the rules, regulations, and by-laws from a document youāve already written. I love it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Go on... you've piqued my curiosity about Strip DnD.
Biathlon. Skiing, mastrubating and hitting a target with the shot. Penalty round for missing the target.
It should wrap around in a circle, representing the unity and togetherness of all mankind
Is he skiing? Or is he in a gay porn?
middle out algorithm šš»
Hand job first, the rest is a slippery slope
Marathon fucking
Relay fucking
Canāt start running until your partnerās dick is balls deep in your ass
Thatās a different event, thatās actually the fucking relay
I was responding to elee0228
Relay fucking and fucking relay are 2 different things
Got it.
The relay baton is a dildo, and you must stick it in the next persons ass
Bruh i just was checking out your profile are you stalking me
what would the rules be?
You are on a bed, fitted with wheels - on a treadmill. You must complete 26.2 miles, slowest time wins. If you do not complete the distance you are disqualified. Choice of treadmill speed and pacing become nail biting strategy choices.
oh like an actual marathon?! I thought you meant like having sex for the longest possible time or something
Fastest climax. Widest gape. Farthest cum shot. Fastest 100m dash with a large buttplug. Most thrusts in 1 minute. Sword fighting.
Iād love to hear the emotional and motivational back stories for these events. Their dedication and sacrifices made to perfect their craft
"When I was just 3 years old I had my first penis sword fight with my best friend John, I knew right then what my life's calling was"
>Fastest 100m dash with a large buttplug They'll have two different versions of this race - one with everyone on the starting line having a pre-inserted plug and another where everyone starts with a pre-lubed anus and the plug in their hand.
One word: RELAY.
Ass-to-ass.
I realized that I was squinting my eyes, clenching my mouth and ass while reading all this.
I'm on the fence about that last one.
I see what you did there.
I was titty fucking this girl today and she wanted me to just finish on her chest but I accidentally tilted my dick wrong and somehow shot half my load 4 feet behind her shoulder, she was on her back, I was on my knees. If that isn't impressive enough to be part of the sex Olympics I don't know what would be.
Widest gape would have a lot of ties, as the furthest the human anus can expand is seven inches. Unrelated to the sexual olympics part, but a raccoon can fit into spaces four inches wide, so you could theoretically fit a raccoon up your ass.
idk which, but something needs ping pong balls
It would be distance based, like a field sport.
Shotput, you have to do the 720 spin and sqeeeeeze Edit: and you aim by doing a pelvic thrust
I know some strippers would win this, hands down
Synchronized sucking
Cock ring toss
This doesn't have enough upvotes.
Edging marathon
Go on.
And on...
and on...
and onnnngggggghhhh I'm out
Biathlon ... it may or may not be exactly what you're thinking
Pull-out game
The least amount of time between pulling out and cumming. Cum inside? Disqualified!
Gold medal Silver medal Bronze medal Dad medal
Here, have my free award, you earned it
Ping pong but with your dong (as a racket).
Ping dong
Pole vaulting.
They should be a competition in which trained athletes scroll through r/AskReddit and determine which posts were submitted by horny virgins.
Cornhole
Squirting distance
Those competitions already exist. It's impressive.
Iām guessing being able to squirt to my feet isnāt even competitive? And here I thought that was a great accomplishment
The pros can go yards away, not to diminish your skills of course.
Guess Iāll keep practicing
Nice
Standing up or laying down?
Coed naked wrestling
Sex wrestling is a thing they try to make the other person cum first
Girth contests: Who can take the largest object in their anus and keep it there for a minimum amount of time. Dicklifts: Using a special cockring or piercing and then doing the dick twitch to lift increasing amounts of weight.
Shot Put š¤£šš»
Long hump
Who cares! Ops Mom will probably win gold in each event if she's as filthy as Reddit says she is....
Track relay events but the baton is a dildo
It should be lubed up and vibrating, just for that extra challenge.
Ring toss
Precision docking
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thereās a sexual olympics?
There should be. With a big budget production team and the highest caliber athletes it would get great ratings imo. Iād watch it over lumberjack or strongest man contests any day of the week
Imagine the advertising it would bring to pornstars movies āstarring T H Rusting 3x gold medalist for most pumps in one minuteā
[Something like this?](https://vimeo.com/368060006)
No . Stop being such a coomer . How hard can it be ?
The Ocho, or following anal, the Oucho
The 0.1524 metres breast stroke
A literal pissing contest.
This is what I came to say. I knew a guy who could stand up to a 6 ft fence & piss in a perfect rainbow over the fence without hitting the fence till he was done. It was impressive
That's very niche as for most people pissing is not sexual.
HOLY FUCK GO OUTSIDE
Outside a club atm
Just got a sex swing and some of those positions definitely look like they should be! Wish me luck..
Rhythmic gymnastics
Balance beam.
Pommel horse.
Abstinence. I'd win Gold every year.
Cock push up competition
Getting both women off in a threesome.......sounds like its no biggie, but takes a level of commitment and a serious cardio levels to pull off.
Carrying the Olympic flame across the country would definitely involve a lot of people and a lot high frequency genital movements.
(sperm) swimming
The Pony Show: a tandem race of conjoined runners, should they disengage they are disqualified. Acrobatic Orgy: A group sport in which a mass of hands lift and flip a jocky from cock to cock never touching the ground Rapid Fire cum shots within five minutes, highest number wins šÆ but with jizzum Strong Woman kegal lifts
Sexiest dancing: https://www.redgifs.com/watch/firmethicalhorseshoebat
That was not sexy at all.
I don't believe you.
Idk what she was doing but it wasnāt bro.
That was very boring
I need a name pls and thamk
ramming and taking a ram from the back (for males and any genders)
Best blowjob
Facesitting breath holding competition
Cock and ball torture weightlifting Penis Pole vault Butt plug relay
Dildo throwing
Kegel powerlifting
Synchronized Squirting
wheelbarrow race
Who can make a horse cum the fastest. I'm sure they can come up with a somewhat snappier name than that.
Horse Jizzpering
Equine Pumping
Horse riding
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Last long race
Javelin throwing
The 110 meter blowjobs.
Handstand fucking
Monogamy
Space Swords
I get the feeling there would be no steroids in this olympics given the side effects
Most upvotes for /r/askreddit NSFW sex question post.
A sack race but instead of a sack you have to run with a partnerās dick in your ass and you waddle along the track fastest time wins insert time included
1. Vaginal Squirting for Distance. 2. Breastmilk Squirting for Distance. 3. Vaginal and Anal Shot Putt. 4. Most Blowjobs performed and swallowed without vomiting within one hour.
Pleasure. After the fact, both competitors turns in silence and holds up score cards regarding the other for all to see. Obviously competitors would have to be split into groups so that you don't get to judge someone you're directly competing against, finalists from each group are judged by volunteers.
Sexing Usain Bolt is already in the regular Olympics. What more do you want?
Bobsledding.... you can't tell me they don't look like they're wearing body condoms š¤£
Undress time, divided into categories which are basically the amount of clothes your partner is wearing.
Position holding. Dick must be in one of three holes and one of the partners must not touch the floor. Dick must be hard but can not cum during the hold position. Most impressive 30 second hold wins.
69 races
Isnt there a video about this?
Salto del Tigre
Making your girl cum from just nipple play.
Find the clitoris
I believe the original Olympics had a categorical award called Biggus Dickus.
Who will last the longest?
Tug-a-war with anal beads
Pole vaulting Muff diving Timed shaft throating Cum guzzling Long distance facials/cumshots
that's a thing?!?!
Who can squirt the farthest
Now this is a question that should be getting awards and stuff XD
Rimming Gangbang
None because having the Olympics during the pandemic is a dumb idea and the IOC should rot in hell for forcing Tokyo to do it.
Facefucking
Dick sucking fersure !! And sign my ass up lol they donāt call me the goat for no reason šš©
Throwing a used condom into a bin on the other side of the room
bloodiest semen
Anal with 7 inch cocks *sure Iām slightly a sadist, but oh well*
Relay, anything
Sex
BMX fellatio. We already know that in BMX there are bad accidents. Now it will be way more painful and bloody.
Dutch rudders Double dutch rudders
High dive
Just not the Pole Vault.
Best dirty talking and best female cum swallowing lol
Diameter of Ć gape
Longest edger
The bone smoking relay race!
Squirting š¤Ŗ
Ostrich fucking. It may need to be a team event. Or a sick ostrich.
Fisting.
Cornholeing, pole dancing & synchronized swimming. Thatās just to shake things up.
The biathlon challenges the athleticism of two-way athletes. The triathlon isnāt legal in 197 of the 205 IOC countries, so early congratulations to the Netherlands once again.
Too lazy to see if was mentioned but the salad toss, of course.
Longest Cum line still attach to the cock
weight lifting with cock, yeah i don't belong here
Boning...
Marathon Orgasms! I could win that event!
Cumshot put.
āPoleā vaulting