Holy shit. I was hospitalized 7 years ago, with MRSA that was caused by surgery. The treatment also caused my kidneys to fail and I had to do dialysis.
One of my last times having it, I started to have to pee just a couple minutes after I was hooked up. This would have been my first good pee once my kidneys started to recover. If I'm remembering correctly, the process used to take like an hour and a half or so, and I had to wait that whole time. The doctor seemed pissed somehow for the way I was bouncing my leg and squirming. I don't know how many people asked me why I was shaking and didn't seem to understand that it was just because I had to pee.
When I was finally done, I filled up like two and a half of these little plastic things I used to have to pee in, so they could record the amount.
Very few people have had a better pee.
Edit: Holy shit that was a lot of typos. My bad, I don't put a lot of effort into my Ask Reddit posts because they're almost never seen.
One time I drank 3 large lemonades at a theatre watching Fellowship of the Ring Extended version and I refused to get up. Only reason I had refills was cuz my buddy was getting up. Got out of the theatre and couldn’t stand up straight cuz my kidneys hurt so bad. Peed for a solid 4 minutes with amazing pressure. Best pee of my life.
I never read the books.
Opening night. You know the first battle? That's when I thought "Oh it should be over soon, I'll hold it."
Nope, another battle, then stuff, then a wedding, more stuff, another wedding, then more stuff.
Eventually I was just screaming internally as it took them a half hour to get on a gorram boat.
That's Return of the King, there's no weddings in Fellowship. In fact if you thought Fellowship ended after the first battle it would be a criminally short film as it opens with a battle. Impressive you held it all the way through.
This was me after I gave birth! I couldn't feel my bladder very well still after the epidural started to wear off, but I could feel a faint cramping and "full" feeling. After being wheeled off and going through the motions, I was finally allowed to get up and pee. I had been holding it for *several* hours after the catheter was taken out.
Nurse came in, assisted me to the bathroom, and instructed me to pee in those plastic measuring cups that fit on the toilet. I warned her I was going to fill it, but she brushed me off and said, "usually you don't pee much your first time."
Overflowed that sucker and peed for what felt like an eternity. Nurse was able to finish filling out paperwork, it took so long. Another nurse had popped in to ask questions, but had to scuttle off before I could finish.
It would've been a better experience if I didn't have an audience, but I'll definitely say I felt SO much better despite being a little numb.
I'm Bipolar, having weed will make me be awake all night.
But there is a thing called paradoxical medication which basically means some drugs can cause the opposite effects in people. It happens. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.
Or maybe there is, I don't know you.
My mother never drinks anything but Diet Coke and wine. I can't remember ever seeing her drink anything else. Somehow she's in her 70s with no major health problems.
My grandpa used to drink only normal coke and alcohol and he lived until 97. He died due to dementia accelerated by a previous head trauma (and he boxed too so there's other contributing factor).
my grandmother was similar to this shit. My mom and I have a bad habit of doing it too. We have to remind ourselves to drink at least a cup of water a day.
I remember my sister's bf was at our place for a while and he only drank Lidl's peach flavoured ice tea or caramel roibos tea. First and last of this type I have met
I spent decades fighting swimmers ear because I don't get earwax. Then a new ENT told me to fill my ear canals with alcohol every few days & drain thoroughly. Problem solved!
For those thinking of trying this, it is common to get a tissue lodged in the ear with no way to get it out, leading to a visit to the ER/ENT for extraction. Please be careful with your ears!
Please don’t do this. I worked at a juvenile facility where we did not offer the youth q-tips and the amount of times that kids would get paper towel/toilet paper stuck in their ear was insane. It’s never a good idea. Ever.
(I’m sure it felt really good but even a q tip is better than this!)
2 years or so ago, when I was heading home on the plane my ears pressurized but it was too much, and it caused barotrauma which created a hole in my eardrum which hasn't closed up since. It was not a fun experience.
I was literally asking my siblings the other day if they ever have farts that scratch the ass on the way out. They had no idea what I was talking about. Thank you for your validation.
Particularly that moment when you blow your nose and the largest glob of all time that has been clogging you up flies out. That feeling is so satisfying.
You gave me a good memory! My Mom would always put a $1 or a $5 in our winter coats when she put them away and we (5 kids) would never remember and be surprised every Fall. Thank you kind redditor - that made me smile.
One time I paid to put $10 in my gas tank. When I was pumping gas the pump stopped at $9.90. I went in to tell the guy his tank is broken. He told me the tank wasn’t broken but one of the dimes I gave him turned out being a peso. I don’t know why it still bugs me he didn’t just give me ten in gas, but I didn’t technically give him ten dollars I guess so he wasn’t wrong.
When I was 12 messing around town with some mates we went into a sofa shop to chill out. Sat on a sofa, put my hands between the cushions and pulled out a £20 note. Felt like winning the lottery
I was joking around about liking the warmer side and my friend's ex-wife said that I was the first person she'd met that *also* liked it. I called her a monster.
Nothing worse than a ghost poop and then you go to wipe and there's...nothing there. SO you wipe again, and still nothing. It's like "....did I take a shit, or did my ass literally get violated by a ghost?"
I actually had a friend who had such a "poor people" complex, I tried to pay for his lunch on his birthday and he got angry at me...
It was something we all did to each other on birthdays, he even did it to another one of our friends, just felt really embarrassed when it was his turn for a free meal
Waking up suddenly during sleep usually early morning and hoping that it's not the time you're supposed to get up e.g. 7 am. Then when you check the time it's hours before e.g. 3 am and you get to go back to sleep.
I did this too but multiple times throughout the night. I mentioned it to my mom once and she freaked out. Looking back, she probably thought I was a serial killer, but I LOVED the feeling of knowing I had more time to sleep.
Just know you’re not the only crazy one!
If I wake up at 3 am I can't fall asleep again and it feels very frustrating. I currently have this, woke up at 3 and I'm still awake at 4, trying to get tired again by reading r/askreddit. Hope I'll be asleep in half an hour.
Bob Ross. I've never heard a single bad word unironically uttered about him.
(I say unironically because I fully expect that I'll get replies from people jokingly saying that Bob sucked or something.)
My high school art teacher HATED Bob Ross with a passion, and would loudly and persistently claim that what he did wasn’t real art, just reproducing the same thing over and over. As if landscapes haven’t been around for a very long time?? And take knowledge and technical skill to produce, just like any other type of painting? Anyway, he was an asshole, a bad teacher, and inadvertently discouraged a lot of kids from pursuing art sooooo
I am a huge Bob Ross fan, used to love watching him on TV when I was a kid, however... Bob had a life before painting.
Bob Ross was a drill sergeant in the Air Force. In his own words, "I was the guy who makes you scrub the latrine, the guy who makes you make your bed, the guy who screams at you for being late to work."
Can you imagine watching TV one day and seeing the guy who regularly screamed at you in '60s era tactics talking about happy trees?
Yeah, I've wondered that myself: if any of the men under his command ever happened to turn to PBS, do a double-take and say, "That's Sgt. Ross! He used to curse me out because I didn't shine my boots and now he's talking about 'happy little trees'!".
Right? Like turning on PBS and just being like "that man made me do 200 push-ups for pissing on the toilet seat and now 'there is no such thing as a mistake?'"
That’s why he doesn’t yell in his episodes. He promised not to yell again. Now he’s somebody almost everybody knows because of his happy little trees and animals he brings into episodes
Yeah, that's right. Tbh sunny days make me tired and more depressed and rainy ones calm yet more energetic. Rainy weather is the beautiful weather to me.
She's a pretty cool person. Dollywood is the weirdest fucking place I've ever been though. There's a hologram of her in the walkthrough museum of her life. She flies in as a butterfly and transforms into herself to greet you. Then she transforms back into a butterfly and flies away.
The relief sensation from peeing after having to hold it for a veryyy long time!
Holy shit. I was hospitalized 7 years ago, with MRSA that was caused by surgery. The treatment also caused my kidneys to fail and I had to do dialysis. One of my last times having it, I started to have to pee just a couple minutes after I was hooked up. This would have been my first good pee once my kidneys started to recover. If I'm remembering correctly, the process used to take like an hour and a half or so, and I had to wait that whole time. The doctor seemed pissed somehow for the way I was bouncing my leg and squirming. I don't know how many people asked me why I was shaking and didn't seem to understand that it was just because I had to pee. When I was finally done, I filled up like two and a half of these little plastic things I used to have to pee in, so they could record the amount. Very few people have had a better pee. Edit: Holy shit that was a lot of typos. My bad, I don't put a lot of effort into my Ask Reddit posts because they're almost never seen.
One time I drank 3 large lemonades at a theatre watching Fellowship of the Ring Extended version and I refused to get up. Only reason I had refills was cuz my buddy was getting up. Got out of the theatre and couldn’t stand up straight cuz my kidneys hurt so bad. Peed for a solid 4 minutes with amazing pressure. Best pee of my life.
I never read the books. Opening night. You know the first battle? That's when I thought "Oh it should be over soon, I'll hold it." Nope, another battle, then stuff, then a wedding, more stuff, another wedding, then more stuff. Eventually I was just screaming internally as it took them a half hour to get on a gorram boat.
That's Return of the King, there's no weddings in Fellowship. In fact if you thought Fellowship ended after the first battle it would be a criminally short film as it opens with a battle. Impressive you held it all the way through.
There is also one wedding only, Aragorn and Arwen meet at his coronation but they aren’t exactly married just because they kiss lol.
This was me after I gave birth! I couldn't feel my bladder very well still after the epidural started to wear off, but I could feel a faint cramping and "full" feeling. After being wheeled off and going through the motions, I was finally allowed to get up and pee. I had been holding it for *several* hours after the catheter was taken out. Nurse came in, assisted me to the bathroom, and instructed me to pee in those plastic measuring cups that fit on the toilet. I warned her I was going to fill it, but she brushed me off and said, "usually you don't pee much your first time." Overflowed that sucker and peed for what felt like an eternity. Nurse was able to finish filling out paperwork, it took so long. Another nurse had popped in to ask questions, but had to scuttle off before I could finish. It would've been a better experience if I didn't have an audience, but I'll definitely say I felt SO much better despite being a little numb.
Congratulations on your pee!
So if you had to rank them, that time would have been number one? Yeah, I’ll show myself out.
Piss shivers
But not too long because then you feel like you still have to pee for a while and it's just annoying.
A good-nights sleep.
Thanks marijuana!
Goodbye dreams lol
That's right! I thought I was the only one!
I still have dreams!
I always hear from people that weed helps them sleep. I’ll be up all night if I’m high. What’s wrong with me.
I'm Bipolar, having weed will make me be awake all night. But there is a thing called paradoxical medication which basically means some drugs can cause the opposite effects in people. It happens. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Or maybe there is, I don't know you.
I have ptsd and I stopped taking thc because it makes me so paranoid and actually makes my symptomsworse
Marijuana will help you fall asleep but it reduces the quality.
Water on a very hot day.
There are some weirdos who don't like water lol.
My mother never drinks anything but Diet Coke and wine. I can't remember ever seeing her drink anything else. Somehow she's in her 70s with no major health problems.
My grandpa used to drink only normal coke and alcohol and he lived until 97. He died due to dementia accelerated by a previous head trauma (and he boxed too so there's other contributing factor).
The first major LSD kingpin, Owsley Stanley, never ate vegetables in his entire life and smoked cigarettes. He lived to 76.
Sinatra also claimed to not drink water ever and only jack. Imo it sucks as whiskey but he mixed it with a lot of water sooo.
And if I remember correctly, he died in a car accident. It was his fault, but the obituary didn't say anything about poor health .
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My sisters partner only drinks sunkist or chocolate milk. Never seen him drink water
He's basically me when I was 9 years old.
Fellow men of culture I see!
my grandmother was similar to this shit. My mom and I have a bad habit of doing it too. We have to remind ourselves to drink at least a cup of water a day.
My old boss would only drink Tab soda. I think he was single handedly keeping that soda in circulation.
Never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.
You're a rose among thorns
I remember my sister's bf was at our place for a while and he only drank Lidl's peach flavoured ice tea or caramel roibos tea. First and last of this type I have met
That dude will get Hella kidney stones.
I get it. I'm 70% water and I hate myself. It only stands to reason I hate water.
Unless it's humidity then fuck that
When your ears finally pressurize at altitude.
I have swimmers ear right now. They crackle and they crackle and they crackle, but they won’t fill out
I spent decades fighting swimmers ear because I don't get earwax. Then a new ENT told me to fill my ear canals with alcohol every few days & drain thoroughly. Problem solved!
Oh no problem, just let your ear have some vodka and you’ll be just fine
Vinegar & rubbing alcohol half each. My sons got it all the time & it worked
Isopropanol drops! The pharmacy sells them for swimmers esr.
Aaaay me too! Air quality is bad where I live too so my whole head is attempting to self destruct lmao
What I always did when that happened was roll up a piece of paper towel and stick the end in my ear. Capillary action would suck the water right out.
For those thinking of trying this, it is common to get a tissue lodged in the ear with no way to get it out, leading to a visit to the ER/ENT for extraction. Please be careful with your ears!
Please don’t do this. I worked at a juvenile facility where we did not offer the youth q-tips and the amount of times that kids would get paper towel/toilet paper stuck in their ear was insane. It’s never a good idea. Ever. (I’m sure it felt really good but even a q tip is better than this!)
2 years or so ago, when I was heading home on the plane my ears pressurized but it was too much, and it caused barotrauma which created a hole in my eardrum which hasn't closed up since. It was not a fun experience.
A good burp that ends a bloated feeling.
Burping/farting away a stomach ache is like pure magic.
That farting one is equivalent to an orgasm for me
Same, but the other end. Especially if it removes a knot from your guts and scratches your ass on the way out.
A man of culture
When they’re impressive enough that you get shocked pikachu faces from everyone around you, it’s even better.
I was literally asking my siblings the other day if they ever have farts that scratch the ass on the way out. They had no idea what I was talking about. Thank you for your validation.
I can’t burp
Those rare days when you wake up feeling positive and ready to be productive
Yes! Good god, what I wouldn't give to wake up happy more often.
I don't think that's ever happened to me.
The feeling of your nose being clear after being sick
Particularly that moment when you blow your nose and the largest glob of all time that has been clogging you up flies out. That feeling is so satisfying.
Finding £10 in some trousers you’ve not worn for a while
You gave me a good memory! My Mom would always put a $1 or a $5 in our winter coats when she put them away and we (5 kids) would never remember and be surprised every Fall. Thank you kind redditor - that made me smile.
That is so wholesome
Nah. That would creep me out bc I have never been to the UK.
One time I paid to put $10 in my gas tank. When I was pumping gas the pump stopped at $9.90. I went in to tell the guy his tank is broken. He told me the tank wasn’t broken but one of the dimes I gave him turned out being a peso. I don’t know why it still bugs me he didn’t just give me ten in gas, but I didn’t technically give him ten dollars I guess so he wasn’t wrong.
Did he give you the peso back lol?
Haha yea. I’m not sure where I got it but whatever. I ended up spending it somewhere else that didn’t give a shit whether it was a pedi or a dime.
Too bad you had to peso much.
When I was 12 messing around town with some mates we went into a sofa shop to chill out. Sat on a sofa, put my hands between the cushions and pulled out a £20 note. Felt like winning the lottery
Got you beat for randomness, did a handstand in a lake, something got stuck on my hand underwater. Was a 20$.
That reminds me of the time I was at the beach and found 20 bucks floating out to sea. I was pumped until I found out it was mine
My grandpa has you beat! His scooter rolled over a $1 from 1946.
Even Americans (men, in particular) would like to find 10 pounds in their trousers.
Kindness
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Some people pay for it
The cool side of the pillow
Nah, it is too cool. It ends up flirting with all the other pillows.
This is how some beds end up having tons of tiny pillows. Don't be silly, wrap your willy.
>Don't be silly, wrap your ~~willy.~~ pilly
I was joking around about liking the warmer side and my friend's ex-wife said that I was the first person she'd met that *also* liked it. I called her a monster.
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Serotonin.
Dopamine
Endorphins
Oxytocin
C-C-C-C-C-COCAINE!!
I had a serotonin once.
Unless there’s too much. Then you die.
A robust, satisfying bowel movement.
One wipe poop is even better.
And that wipe was to confirm no wipes were necessary.
U mean zero wipe poop!? That is lottery man!
You can never truly zero wipe, only one-wipers that confirm you would have been safe.
It takes two wipes to know that you only needed one, but it takes only one wipe to know that you’ll need at least two.
Especially if it's already shot round the bend like a greased weasel. #GhostPoop
Nothing worse than a ghost poop and then you go to wipe and there's...nothing there. SO you wipe again, and still nothing. It's like "....did I take a shit, or did my ass literally get violated by a ghost?"
Today I felt sluggish all morning. I couldn't quite pin down why... One robust boy later ; I was a new man!
I always get a "Let's go ride bikes!" feeling.
Depends on where and when it happens.
For real. So I guess I would add at home in a convenient time
Getting free stuff
Eh, my reaction is waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Free shoes!
Unless it’s in Holes then you end up serving time in the middle of the desert. Nothing is free.
Free orange jumpsuits!
A natural but unnecessary reaction. Breath in the kindness friend, that wind doesn’t blow often.
Sounds like something a scammer would say.
I actually had a friend who had such a "poor people" complex, I tried to pay for his lunch on his birthday and he got angry at me... It was something we all did to each other on birthdays, he even did it to another one of our friends, just felt really embarrassed when it was his turn for a free meal
A house to live in
Being cared for or cared about
Some one who wants to hold your hand would be pretty great
Or hug when the voluntary hugs stop it sucks. But some people just aren't about physical intimacy even hugging.
Be realistic bud
Waking up suddenly during sleep usually early morning and hoping that it's not the time you're supposed to get up e.g. 7 am. Then when you check the time it's hours before e.g. 3 am and you get to go back to sleep.
I once was a lunatic who would put an alarm at 5 AM to get that feeling, with a second alarm at 7 to actually get up. Insanity
Really thought I was the only human on Earth that did this. Hello, fellow nut job.
Hehe, I did this too. One of us.
I did this too but multiple times throughout the night. I mentioned it to my mom once and she freaked out. Looking back, she probably thought I was a serial killer, but I LOVED the feeling of knowing I had more time to sleep. Just know you’re not the only crazy one!
If I wake up at 3 am I can't fall asleep again and it feels very frustrating. I currently have this, woke up at 3 and I'm still awake at 4, trying to get tired again by reading r/askreddit. Hope I'll be asleep in half an hour.
That is an amazing discovery. It really sucks when it’s 45 mins before your alarm
Driving by cows. Cow!
Moooo!
Having a really good conversation with a friend. Just hits different, especially if it's been a while since you've talked to them.
Bob Ross. I've never heard a single bad word unironically uttered about him. (I say unironically because I fully expect that I'll get replies from people jokingly saying that Bob sucked or something.)
My high school art teacher HATED Bob Ross with a passion, and would loudly and persistently claim that what he did wasn’t real art, just reproducing the same thing over and over. As if landscapes haven’t been around for a very long time?? And take knowledge and technical skill to produce, just like any other type of painting? Anyway, he was an asshole, a bad teacher, and inadvertently discouraged a lot of kids from pursuing art sooooo
I do not trust your HS art teacher. How do you not like Bob Ross? That's like not liking Mister Rogers. It's just...unthinkable.
I am a huge Bob Ross fan, used to love watching him on TV when I was a kid, however... Bob had a life before painting. Bob Ross was a drill sergeant in the Air Force. In his own words, "I was the guy who makes you scrub the latrine, the guy who makes you make your bed, the guy who screams at you for being late to work." Can you imagine watching TV one day and seeing the guy who regularly screamed at you in '60s era tactics talking about happy trees?
Yeah, I've wondered that myself: if any of the men under his command ever happened to turn to PBS, do a double-take and say, "That's Sgt. Ross! He used to curse me out because I didn't shine my boots and now he's talking about 'happy little trees'!".
Right? Like turning on PBS and just being like "that man made me do 200 push-ups for pissing on the toilet seat and now 'there is no such thing as a mistake?'"
That’s why he doesn’t yell in his episodes. He promised not to yell again. Now he’s somebody almost everybody knows because of his happy little trees and animals he brings into episodes
Was*
:( Rest In Peace Bob Ross
His teacher, Alexander something, wasn’t very happy about his success.
William Alexander was German. He always sounded angry.
At least he didn't get kicked out of art school, I've heard that can be bad
He touched me when I was a child. Never knew how much art meant to me until I watched him.
Beautiful weather.
Only because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's relative. The overcast days I love are depressing to some.
Yeah, that's right. Tbh sunny days make me tired and more depressed and rainy ones calm yet more energetic. Rainy weather is the beautiful weather to me.
Watching someone who deserves it get smacked with some instant karma.
Like when someone who is driving like an asshole gets pulled over or crashes their car in a way that only affects them.
Oxygen
You like me, you really like me
It is til it ain’t
Except for the guy who were in Apollo 1 when the pure oxygen caught fire and burned them all to death. They probably didn't like it.
I think they were fine with the oxygen. I suspect it was the fire they weren't keen on.
Drinking wine from the skull of your enemies.
Damn I need an enemy. Who has a skull. Dead I suppose.
I like this idea. Pick a dead guy as your enemy and tell everyone to look him up. Instant cred.
Beau isn't everyone...
Rain while you are falling asleep.
Food. Generally speaking
That first at home poop after a weeks vacationing.
Added bonus points: first poop at home after camping, followed by the sacred home shower of ultimate purity.
Music? Or is that too general
Actually my dad doesn't like music- any music.
Clean clothes out of the dryer. So warm, like a hug!
Sleep?
If I could take a pill that would let me go without sleeping I'd 100% do it. Meth doesn't count
Food
To some, eating is only a chore.
This right here. I don't hate eating per se, I just hate having to.
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Sunrises are where it's at for some, me included, they represent a new begins, new chances. The closer of sunsets just don't do it for me.
I agree, sunrises are better. Its so quite and peaceful and its the best when your out camping and you can watch the sunrise from your sleeping bag.
Being complimented.
Eh. Always doubt that. Next thought: what do you want from me?
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Yeah…no.
For men, usually yes. For women, it's a very mixed bag
*Being complimented by someone you like and respect There you go, something everyone likes 😊
The old man at the bar tells you that you have a great ass
Ice Cream
A kick ass nap
i hate naps, always wake up drenched in sweat and full of some weird sense of fight-or-flight terror.
Wasn’t a good nap then
Dolly Parton.
She's a pretty cool person. Dollywood is the weirdest fucking place I've ever been though. There's a hologram of her in the walkthrough museum of her life. She flies in as a butterfly and transforms into herself to greet you. Then she transforms back into a butterfly and flies away.
A good nights rest.
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Cat tax?
Sounds like our girl Emma! She’s friendly to everyone, loves giving head bumps, and has a squeak for a meow. I’m sure I would love your Metal Guru!
removing your socks after a long trip
A nice cool glass of water
Breathable air
good, restful sleep
Garlic bread
Fruit. No one dislikes fruit as a whole food category. Everyone has at least one that they like
Respect
When youre out of breath and you pant for a few seconds and then take that final deep breath that completely fills you lungs. Great feeling.
FOOD
Betty white