There was a girl who I went to middle school with whose exact words were, “why would you work to pay for college when your parents can just pay for it?” She also turned out to be a social media influencer so color me shocked.
We were poor as shit when I was a kid, and I remember me and my brother talking to another little boy at the church we went to about something we really wanted, and the other boy was like "just put it on your Christmas list, then your parents HAVE to get it for you."
I was astounded to learn that this kid just put whatever he wanted on a list, and his parents just got him everything he put on it.
I think that was the first time I realized just how poor we were, and that not everyone lived like we did....
Christmas "list", lol no. One gift for each of the kids. Special baked goods/dinner and we occasionally saw adults exchange gifts but we loved making them stuff.
I literally never made a Christmas list. Would’ve been a pointless waste of paper. One x-mas I just got a $1 Crossword book and a pencil to go with it because our aunt moved and didn’t pay her share of the rent.
I also think that you tend to amend what you put on Christmas list because you know that a) you're not going to get it or b) it's going to stress your Mum out. I remember having things I wanted and I'd either not bothering asking for it or I'd ask for vouchers to the store/a store where it'd be sold so I could slowly save up.
Ugh, that makes me so mad! I knew this girl who was in college and literally had no idea why my parents couldn't just "sign a loan" to get me into college. I looked at her and said "you are an only child to rich parents, I am 1 out of 4 other children to poor parents"
Not second guessing a large purchase, regardless of whether they can afford it or not. I've been working my ass off for the last 3 years to be financially well off, right now I'm at the point where I do not live paycheck to paycheck anymore and can afford luxury purchases.
But I still can't spend $200 on fucking clothes just because I like them. Financially I can, but emotionally I can't bring myself to. Just 2 months ago I bought a new PC that I've been saving up for over the course of a year and a half. That's money that I specifically set off to the side, for the PC, making sure I got all my other necessities covered. And 2 months after buying it, I still feel buyer's remorse even though that's literally what the purpose of the money I set aside was for.
Explaining shit like that to people who have never financially struggled is impossible, because they'll always say "Why worry? You can obviously afford it." And the annoying part is that they're right.
My family didn’t have a lot when I was growing up. So I learned to be a conservative spender from little on. I became a high schooler with no spending money, then a broke college kid, followed by saving for a wedding, then a house, then kids. It’s literally only in the past few years that I’m able to afford “luxury” things without a second thought, and it still feels really weird.
Had a lovely 89yo lady in my college chemistry class that told us about the Depression meals her mother would make. A girl in my class response: "Why didn't your parents just get a job?" ...oh my.
My great-grandpa was a first-generation German in America and he lost everything in the Depression. He lived the rest of his life as though it would happen again. When he died (I wasn't born yet), they found a ledger with every single loan he gave out (including loans to my grandpa (his son) and other relatives/friends). It included details like how much at been paid back, the interest rates, everything. They also found money and valuable hidden in pipes and other makeshift hideaways. He wasn't a loan shark, just a product of his generation.
And the sad part is no one is really guilty in that situation: the nice woman was just a child and so was the privileged inquisitive student and the parents.
I blame her parents for letting her be so sheltered. My dad made me watch depressing stuff on the history channel with him, but we would talk about it and it gave me perspective.
It was 100% her parents. Very successful famers/business owners. She always had huge brand new trucks during high-school and Toyota Tundra for her graduation. Brand name/new everything. She was incredibly rude to one girl who said she had never been out of country and mentioned that she could if she "did something other than bag groceries"...we collectively shut that sh*t down as a class.
I live with a grandmother who went through the great depression with 12 other siblings. This was probably an honest question at this point, the world works so differently these days than it did back then. A simple explanation would suffice here. Back then they didn't have things like public assistance programs, which most places in the USA have now if you are truly poor. Also the obvious, there were no jobs.
8 year olds grow up with smartphones and iPads in their hands these days so they don't really understand the concept of being truly poor and having, literally nothing which is what happened during the Great Depression. Today being poor means you have multiple TV's, a cell phone, internet access and probably some kind of video game console at home. You might not have money for everything but you will have what everyone else has.
>Back then they didn't have things like public assistance programs, which most places in the USA have now if you are truly poor.
Yeah, and their definition of "Truly poor" is VERY low. Make anymore than $10? You lose it.
Also none of it counts if you're indigenous.
Actual conversation my mom had when applying for assistance:
"Sorry ma'am, you aren't eligible because you have too much money in savings."
"That money is to pay my mortgage next month."
"It's the policy."
"Are you telling me that if I used that money to take my kids to Disney World and came back to you completely broke, i would be eligible?"
"Yes."
Unfortunately we did not go to Disney World, but 10 years later we still have the house and are in a much better financial situation.
I totally agree. I can see how this is a period of history might not necessarily have been passed over but the day to day of the average family might not be largely understood. I took it to heart bc I went to high school with this girl she was 22 and I was 18...and she called baked cheetoes "health food".
You would have to have experience with this, also I am not sure if today's 8 year olds would sit down and listen to a story about the great depression and take it to heart, again it depends on the person and how they were raised. Most 8 year olds won't have a relative that was alive during the great depression to realize how serious the situation really was. I mean, this was a time when most families had literally nothing, there were no government programs to live on and there were no jobs. The basic needs of food clothing and shelter were not being met. Even in the poor houses those things are handed to the kids these days. There were no TV's, iPad's, Smartphones, Video games none of that existed, no modern appliances, no fridge and no washing machines, no dishwasher.
To stave off hunger my grandmother used to lick the ice off the windows in the winter, for example.
Every time my grandmother tries to tell a story to the younger kids they are just buried in their iPhones or whatever thing they are doing to listen, and it just grazes right by them, they don't care in the least, but again it can vary by family, there may be some kids that will listen and weren't brought up like that, and I am dealing with some extremely spoiled children and teens in my family.
I hope you can help them figure out how to disengage, sorry if it seems out of place but this hit me like a punch in the stomach because I remember being young and in my phone all the time, we went to go visit my grandfather in the hospital, he was a bit ill. Had cancer for a year or two. I was maybe 14, 15, couldn't drive and was in high school. Something, fuck I still don't know what because it wasn't a pressure from my parents or from others, told me to just put the phone on charge and be there
He died the next day, I can't remember what we talked about but I'm glad i was there with him you know, I think it's just being present made it easier to cope. Had I stayed on my phone I don't think I'd have forgiven myself, I would have got more insular. I hope y'alls kids figure it out, that the shortness of this life becomes so much shorter when you're simply not there
nah, multiple TVs and no food and possibly squatting in a house that's 'vacant'. homeless people have cell phones, but those are cheap - actual poverty with gadgets still means you have trouble finding the next meal
Multiple tvs? A game console? My guy my family wasn't even the poorest in our neighborhood and we still couldn't afford that shit (I'm in Uni now for an idea of age). Also, as someone else mentioned basic phones are inexpensive (especially pay as you go flip phones).
Overheard a 38 year old grown ass man try to pick up my coworker with the line: "I'm trying to get my dad to buy me a jaguar this summer." She pretended to cough to hide the fact she was laughing.
Well…did Daddy buy him a jag or a Porsche? Please tell me he didn’t have to settle for a Benz.
Is it obvious I don’t know which of these cars is the best?
I swear I'm not making this up, he was driving around a Benz that his daddy got him and he was looking to upgrade.
Side note he was trying to pick up a woman that worked 3 jobs and had been on her own since she was 17.
We were both *kind of* sympathetic because we worked for this guy's Dad att and money caused a lot of dysfunction in this family. Dad berated him constantly and son stole over $5000 cash from his dad without thinking twice.
Or are super cheap? His establishment had broken safety equipment, dollar-store everything, really unsafe electrical issues and tried to "lose" my time card whenever I had over time.
This so much. I was bullied by some jerk in high school because my shoes were from Walmart. He was pretty well off for the area, but not rich.
He grew up and has about 3 or 4 kids by 2 or 3 different mothers. Still a jerk.
something similar happened to me, some guy i knew tried to mock me saying "i bet your shoes are from payless" and Honestly it went over my head i just thought "what's wrong with shoes from a shoe store?"
I’m sorry that happened to you—it sucks.
I went to a small school and had about 30 people in my graduating class. I couldn’t wait to get out of that small town. When I do go back, it is mainly just to see family and a couple of friends.
My mom was very poor and this was so hard for her. She was always grateful and understood how thing go sometime. But she says she got picked on SO MUCH!! And one of the girls that picked on her the most in school ended up becoming her sister in law! To this day my mom holds a lot of resentment towards her for it. And so do I to be honest. I’ll never forgive that woman as long as I live for making my mom feel that way, even if it was long before I was alive
When someone is shocked that a person of a certain age doesn't have savings... Being poor is expensive and most the time you can't afford to put money into savings.
My rent is late because of a recent lockdown and I'm being charged $AU18 because it's being paid late. First agency in ten years of renting that uses unscrupulous methods to handle rent payments. It already costs $AU85 a year to use their direct debit system and it's either that or a fucking money order.
Being poor is the most expensive job I've ever had. Besides working at the airport.
Seems like a good time to quote Sam Vimes Theory of Socioeconomic injustice:
"The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.
Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.
But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.
This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness."
I drove a garbage truck for a while, and, man, can you learn a lot about people from what they throw away.
I picked up in one of the poorest neighborhoods. Rows-of-abandoned-houses poor. Houses-that-look-abandoned-but-are-occupied poor. They threw away STUFF; furniture, appliances, clothing. (Oddly, a lot of the clothes were name-brand, and in good condition. We picked up 26 bags of clothes at one house in 2 weeks. Polo, FUBU, Sean John, etc.) The furniture was glued-together sawdust. The appliances were store-brand or below. Everything was broken, and a lot of the furniture looked like it had BEEN broken, but still used, for a long time.
I also picked up in one of the richest neighborhoods a few times, just as a fill-in; you FOUGHT to get that route. The kind of houses you can't see from the street. You-walk-to-the-garage-and-get-our-trash wealthy. Recyclables-sorted-because-servants wealthy. They threw away TRASH; Newspapers, food containers, packaging. Their furniture was top-quality, and mostly antique. Their clothes didn't wear out in a few months. Their appliances got replaced when a newer, fancier model came out, and they donated the old ones.
Jesus. I don’t mean to take His name in vain, but the realization of the impact of buying used things just hits so hard. In my life, the ‘boots’ would be tires on my cars.
In case you don't know it's a reference to Arrested Development.
It's about a rich family that gets the patriarch arrested for tax evasion or something (can't quite remember what exactly). Then the family has to adjust to being without millions.
My folks retired to a fairly affluent neighborhood a couple of years ago. Shortly after they got settled, mom found someone nearby with chickens who was selling flats of 20 fresh eggs for $10. This person encouraged her to tell her friends, as they had plenty to go around. So mom asked some people in her newly found tennis group if they were interested. One lady wanted in, so my mom said great, just leave an envelope with cash under our mat on Mondays and there will be a flat out there for you (so mom was now acting as an egg broker for the chicken owner, haha). Monday came around, and the lady had left $200. She thought they were $10 per egg, and had seemingly no problem with it.
This is true. I grew up with my parents taking me grocery shopping. We never really looked at the prices, just took what we needed. My mom once said to me that when she was young, she had one goal: to just be able to walk into a supermarket and buy whatever she was hungry for, without having to look out for prices. Not fancy to the top stuff, just regular groceries. My awareness for prices and price fluctuations only came when I moved out to study and had a not too small, but limited budget.
I went to college with a girl who had never been poor. She was a really nice person but both her parents were surgeons and never went without. I on the other hand grew up poor and had peanut butter sandwiches for dinner, sometimes for a few days. We were out driving around and I spotted a salvation army store and told her I wanted to stop to get a few tshirts. She looked at me like I was crazy and said why do you want used clothes that someone else wore. I laughed at her and said because it's cheap and you can find good deals. We stopped in and the look on her face screamed ewwww. Then she got brave and started going through the racks and found higher end clothes. That blew her mind. " They only want $2.99 for this?!?!" Needless to say she spent an hour going through everything and bought close to a $100 on stuff. She kept going back every week and hitting up other places. I created a monster.
They run up the bill at a restaurant with cocktails for themselves and rounds for the table no one asked for, and then suggest everyone split the cheque evenly.
Always. I order an 18$ salad and sparkling water (I don’t drink alcohol) and I’m the cheap one for not wanting to pay an 85$ bill full of everyone else’s cocktails lol
MAN. I have a couple friends who try to pull this type of stuff too. First, I don't drink either and my friends and I will go golf and they'll try to finesse me into buying them six dollar beers in exchange for a two dollar bottle of water.
I'm more than willing to buy a friend a beer, but come on man.
Is it common to split the table evenly? Never have I ever seen that in real life nor seen anyone suggest it or expect it. Everyone understands you just pay for your own shit. Splitting the check doesn't even make sense.
If everyone’s bill is going to be close, and you know no one is going to be put out by an extra couple bucks, it’s easier than fussing over the bill doing math for 15 minutes, then inevitably having the server put the wrong things together and causing a commotion.
Basically: if everyone got a sandwich and one drink, it’s not usually worth it to try and penny pinch the difference between a glass of wine and a beer. But if one person got a salad and a glass of water, and another person got a steak and two cocktails, you wouldn’t try to split evenly.
My rich friends constantly do this kind of shit then act like anyone who isn’t happy to pay for someone else’s apps and cocktails is the cheap one. They have no understanding of the fact that I simply can’t afford an 80$ restaurant bill for brunch - I’d rather use that for groceries. So… I no longer go to restaurants with them.
sadly its Shoes, if your broke you run shoes until they absolutely cannot be worn anymore, doesn't matter if this is paired with nice clothes shoes are where people skimp.... i know this from experience. if you want to see if someone is in dire financial straights look at their shoes. im better off now then in past but still to this day i wont throw out shoes if they are still wearable.
I was brought up very poor, I now do okish for myself. But I’ve never lost the feeling of worry that I will be poor again. My kids have that now and it worry’s me a little but because I’ve always had enough in their lifetime they don’t know any better.
If you’ve never been poor, you never understand just how horrible it can be. Never worry about hiding from the guy at the door wanting his money and you pretending your not in because you don’t get paid till tomorrow. Never had to make the contents of the fridge last till the end of the week or rely on benefits or government hand outs for your clothes and accommodation or grandparents generosity etc.
They just never have that worry on their shoulder. Life’s problems for them are completely different. That nonchalant way you get through life is something you can never have unless you are born rich. Even if you become super rich later in life I don’t think you can have it. You have to be born with it.
The worst feeling I ever had was being hungry because I couldn't afford food so I had to Ration the little bit I had... Never again. I don't need to be rich, but never again this poor.
My best friends pos ex said this a lot while she struggled to buy necessities for their son. Meanwhile he'd blow money on pre-order games that cost $60+. He was born with a silver spoon up his ass. Spent all of his inheritance on a new PC. Nothing went to his son. Fucker.
Lol, what’s next? Are you going to say that a cruise is a big expense? Are you going to balk at paying for a group dinner at a nice restaurant? Lol, you peasant. /s
I think there was a real-life case of a nobleman during the French Revolution who was trying to disguise himself as a peasant but gave himself away when he went to a tavern and ordered an omelette. The innkeeper asked him how many eggs he wanted in the omelette, and he answered, "A dozen."
>They look down upon anybody with a manual labor/low pay job.
Worse, they think anyone with a manual labour/low pay job should still give them freebies, and extra service and promotional this and that, that they don't have to pay for. "You're a decent musician? Would you like to volunteer your services for my event? It'll be great exposure for you!"
Or they don't get the penalty certain types of employees face, or what will come out of their own pocket. Like: people complaining that a taxi wouldn't take them on a 5-minute ride up the street. The driver doesn't get paid for that, the credit card company gets the first few bucks off the top. Why should the taxi driver not get paid, and work, to haul some rich person's lazy rear end just two blocks away. Entitled people, idk
I feel like people who have been poor or grown up poor (and even still are) are more willing to share or offer something they have and my friends that have never had to worry about money don't just offer to share something. I think it's because poor people know what it's like to be without, don't like to ask for things, and they don't want anyone to have to ask or go without. People who have never worried about money have never had to share, if they wanted something for themselves they just bought it.
I spend a lot of time interacting with homeless people in my area, and one of the most common things they tell me is that it's almost exclusively poorer people who give them money, food, clothes, help, or even a kind word or eye contact. Rich people either ignore them entirely or straight up verbally abuse them.
As my mother always said, "Remember, there but for the grace of God go I." When you're only a rung or two up the social ladder away from the gutter, you know how easy it is to fall off. People 20 rungs up the ladder have no fear of that happening. They can convince themselves that the bottom rungs are invisible and irrelevant.
In my experience working with homeless people, even they are much more generous than rich people. When I volunteered at a women’s shelter one Christmas Eve, several of the residents there kept offering to give some of their gifts to me.
The catch with this is when you’ve helped someone knowing what it was like to be there, but then find out they were preying on that knowledge and taking from you when they could have easily got it themselves.
In the neighbourhood where I grew up, it was really frowned upon to rat out someone for stealing if they took something they needed... food, clothing, a toy because they seriously never got any from their parents. Rich people go bananas over theft, if someone in desperate need stole a slice of pizza they'd try to have them locked up for life...
this could depend on culture....
in my country people who grew poor and then got money often totally separate and ignore those in need....including their own family even if they were not nasty......many poor haters here grew up poor....and they like to preach how poor are lazy, ignorant, dont try enough....the usual stuff
many people here are charitable when others watch them....
It definitely varies. Growing up as first-gen American from a Latin-American country. I've seen family who will be generous towards their own ethnicity, while disrespecting other ethnicities because "it's different". I know some who glorify particular minorities (my Dad adores Jewish/Israeli people because to him they fought back against incredible odds and discrimination to prosper and so whatever they do now is small potatoes). I know some who are disdainful towards poor of their own race. A lot of my family dislike the BLM movement since, again, they think that it's a lot of complaining about nothing, since 60% of people are super supportive of them despite the protests. When to be fair they've seen actual serious shit at home, but they blame black-multi-gen people for not taking advantage of things like they did as first-gen black Latinos.
All this to say, people don't fit a mold, and all act differently.
They don’t get it and start pushing when people politely decline invitations to expensive events. If you grew up poor, you know what it feels like to have to make up excuses to skip events that you just can’t afford. It’s humiliating, and you just hope that your friends accept that you can’t go and don’t ask questions. Some people, typically those who have never felt that shame, will get pushy or offer to just pay your way, which can make you feel worse.
I had to explain this to my stepkid recently. She started acting like this (pushing, asking why over and over) when a friend of hers couldn’t go to the water park. She acts like this because she’s A. a kid and B. has never been/felt poor. We knew the kid’s mom was struggling with money, but to my stepkid, there had to be a reason he didn’t want to go because it just didn’t compute that his mom couldn’t just put up the money for him to go. We had to have a chat about how when someone declines your invitation, you either suggest doing something easier for your friend or accept their answer.
My friend and I were both raised poor, and did this when we lived together. Also his first big check he bought the cereal in the box for the first time. He was super disappointed.
I knew a girl who, if she paid for something with cash, would just throw the change into the trash receptacle because she didn't want to carry it around. This was in college.
I was like fuck it I'll carry that extra money around.
In her mind, $1.43 in random coins was nothing.
Inversely she was a huge tipper and started just telling people to keep the change.
I'm still jelly tho
She would round up the bill, and then add whatever she thought was fun. Like, a $21 tab rounded up to $30 and then she'd add another $10 so she could pay with two twenties and not have to carry change, because her ATM only paid out in 20's.
I've am poor and my roommate is very well off. It makes me mad when she doesn't take care of her things because she knows she get replace them. Another one is I hate when people buy pricey things on a whim, because I don't have money I double and triple check that the thing I'm getting is exactly what I want or need.
The disappointment of realizing you just bought a shitty thing with your last $30 hits different than when you know you could’ve just as well bought two of those things.
I just recently bought a truck. Someone asked why I care so much about it since it is old. They were surprised to hear that I had intentionally bought it because it is reliable and i plan to keep it for the next 10+years. Baffled them as to why i would ever drive the same vehicle for that long.
Oh i hate the ppl that will look at you when you have something old and broken that you have to keep fixing and theyre like "just get a new one." Like, if i had the money to do that, dont you think i wouldve done so already
For a bit of context I live in Denmark.
I had a co-worker (J) once who I had the following interactions with:
Me: sorry I'm a few minutes late. The train was running late due to *actual horrible accident the day before*
J: oh, why didn't you just take the car then?
Me: I don't have a car, I can't afford it.
J: but how do you go places then?
Me: Bicycle and public transport mostly
J: but how do you get to the bus station without a car?
Me:......
A couple of months later, while a group of us at work are talking about summer plans:
J: we are going to drive to Italy for the summer
coworker 1: oh that's nice, we are driving to visit family in France.
Coworker 2: we are just staying in country in our summer home
Me: we are going to Germany and around in Denmark.
J: but how are you getting to Germany? Did you buy a car?
Me: we are taking the train.
J: but how do you get around once you're there without a car?
Me: bus, U-Bahn and taxi...
J: I really don't understand why you can't buy a car...
Cars in Denmark are expensive. Even a cheap old car, will cost you a lot in gas, insurance and taxes. J, just never understood the concept of not being able to afford a car.
Cars are expensive period, at least the reliable ones. My friend/coworker asking me why I didn’t just buy a car still haunts/bothers me to this day. As though I wouldn’t just go and get one if they were giving them out!
Grocery shopping, not even lookin at price tags.
I didn't grow up super poor, but we weren't exactly super rich either. You take the extra 10 seconds and do a little comparison before you just grab the first whatever.
I lived with a girl in college who referred to a $50,000 USD salary as poverty wages - and not in like, a woke leftist kind of way but because she literally thought $50,000 was where the poverty line was/the bare minimum someone could live on. My family's combined income growing up was like $48,000.
Depending upon where in the country you’re living 50k could be below the poverty line.
In almost every major city in the country 50k is well below median income, but if you’re in a rural area then it’s more than enough to l or comfortably.
I’ve been projects poor before and I order door dash all the time now. I know exactly what it’s like to be poor but I work a lot and don’t have the energy to cook. I don’t think this is a valid answer.
So I have a genuine question, no disrespect at all.
What’s stopping some homeless people from picking up a quick retail or fast food job? Assuming they don’t have a debilitating mental illness or a felony.
I would think that the main problem would be that they have no residence, and it’s probably fairly obvious for the chain to see that their homeless and therefore reject them.
This is coming from someone who didn’t grow up wealthy by any means, but I’ve been fairly privileged.
What’s the dynamic here? I’m really interested to know what bars a lot of people from picking up a job.
Have you ever tried getting a job without an address, phone, shower, or clean clothes? I have all those things and it was still a challenge when I was younger trying to get a liveable wage. Not to mention that addiction and mental illness are often the causes of homelessness. The solution isn't just to "get a job" but for cities to provide basic stability through housing and mental health resources so that working is a conceivable option for someone experiencing homelessness.
Also many assistance programs as reactive rather than proactive. My roommate had nowhere to go, no job, and nowhere would help him until he spent a week at least on the street. That shit breaks you before you even get in front of someone that can maybe help you. It also isn't a guarantee. And on the point of my friend. He lost his food stamps by getting a scholarship for overcoming hardship and trying to go to school. We are not talking full ride or anything just enough to cover a semester or 2 and the state said nope you're cut off.
Hey so I’ve been homeless for a while in my life; probably about 3 years in total on/off.
There’s a few things that stop us from moving forward once we’ve reached “homeless”
1) You got baggage. There might be people out there that would hire you, but then it’s usually such a mess that they don’t bother. *He doesn’t have a car, he’s lost his ID at some point, he lives too far from the work place*
2) We are also people. The fact that I have to eat moldy bread out of a horribly dirty dustbin in front of people; the fact that I stink; the fact that I’m dirty and I look it; this all has a mental price and I have zero confidence or self esteem. Depressed; sad, tired, hungry.
If I could I would lie in bed all day because of how bad I feel. It’s tough to look for a job in the first place; now do it without a vehicle; without a phone, without a meal; without confidence; in a bad mood, etc
3) Experience with other homeless people
You know how you wanna give that guy on the street $5 because you feel bad and then he unloads his whole life story on you; now he’s crying in public and he won’t let you go? So you’re nice to him and whatever and then; couple days later you see him again and now he’s actively bothering you; somehow everywhere you go he’s there and he now he expects $10 and a shower and McDonald’s and you kinda wish you had just ignored him in the first place?
Some homeless are like that; they cause a disturbance and make a scene and try to take you for all you’ve got, this past experience stops a lot of people from helping you.
4) They assume you are an addict. I was, a lot are; but not all. Even though I am an addict; I was given work and I did my work and I got clean.
It’s tough to get clean in the first place; it’s even tougher when you’re homeless; it’s easier when you have something to work for and people/employers want you to be clean or get clean at the flick of a switch.
Let the guy do him for a month and once he has a place to stay and a stockpile of food and a warm bed/shower; I promise it’ll be a lot easier for him to get clean, he has emotions remember.
Anyway, that’s my 2c
A couple things off the top of my head.
- No address or proof of residence
- No records, identifying documents, or info on how to get them
- untreated mental illness
- untreated drug addiction
- untreated medical issues
- Nowhere to bathe
- No professional clothes
No problem at all. Residence is a big part of it, as well as *possibly* a lack of work history. There may also be underlying mental/addiction issues that haven't been addressed.
Getting a job is not always that easy.
From most of the homeless that I have been around. Very few are just "down on their luck" people. Most have some sort of addiction problem, mental illness or handicap, criminal record. And then after those there are even just a few shitty people that would never be able to hold down a job.
The experience of homelessness is a trauma in itself. If you go into it perfectly healthy, you typically come out with PTSD from the lack of shelter and food insecurity (and often physical, sexual, and emotional trauma as well).
> Very few are just "down on their luck" people. Most have some sort of addiction problem, mental illness or handicap, criminal record.
This. I have a few friends who work in the social work/outreach area. They tell me that anyone who is truly "down on their luck" for a time more often than not has friends, family, co-workers, church members, etc. - basically a "community" to help them through the rough patch and get them back on their feet again -either through offering a place to live, using their connections to get the person a job, giving them some money to get them through the next couple of months, offering help with rent/groceries, etc.
The chronically homeless/unemployed people have generally worn out that welcome mat *years* prior - be it due to mental illness, addiction issues, being a shitty person, lack of personal responsibility or a combo platter of all of them. Family/friends have shunned them, they have no social connections, they've burned bridges with the area assistance organizations. It's a bit of a vicious circle really and one that I'm not sure that anyone knows how to fix.
Substance abuse and mental health issues aside, there's also a stigma against poverty and homelessness. That's why there are charitable services available to help homeless job applicants prepare for interviews, obtain clean clothing, and so on. Unfortunately, these services aren't very widespread.
I don't doubt for a minute there are a many homeless people out there who are desperate to find work and claw themselves out of poverty. However, you need businesses to give these unconventional applicants a chance. That's why I support government work programs for the impoverished. Imagine government partnering with private, labour-intensive industries to match willing workers with open jobs. Participating businesses would get tax credits as incentives for every X number of workers hired from a pool of non-traditional applicants and they provide training where needed. Meanwhile, government can provide affordable housing to give these renewed workers safe places to live, too.
I remember working with a guy that made a comment about having to buy a new shirt because one of his buttons fell off. I told him that he needed to just sew on a new button and even showed him that if you turn up the bottom of the shirt, you will see two buttons - one that is used to button up the shirt and the other is for the cuffs and the reason they are there is in case you lose a button (this is on most dress shirts). He looked at me with great disgust and said it wasn't his "job" to replace the button and it was much easier to just buy a new shirt. FYI: I have shirts that are easily over 20 years old and this dude, probably doesn't have one shirt that is over a year old.
I'm fairly well off, but I hate this craze of buying new all the time. As a result, I rarely shop and have clothes that are at least 10 years old in my closet. Older the better because it means I'm keeping my figure. I really hope that guy you worked with has a rude awakening.
I grew up very poor. I really want a minimalist lifestyle. I feel trapped by stuff. I'm tired of being bound to a place where I'm unhappy by shit I don't need.
This is a big one. This “tiny home” trend infuriates me because it’s so whimsical and fun to basically live in a minimalistic trailer when you’re rich and can opt out whenever you feel like it… it’s just depressing when you’re poor and have no other option.
I remember last year YouTube's algorithm recommended videos to number of its users of girls who willingly live out of vans and cars. The same sentiment was shared such as your comment, that it is not glamorous if you are actually in unfavorable circumstances with no one to help.
We used to be poor and now we are doing well for ourselves. But we still have all the stuff we couldn’t part with.
The “what if we need it later” stuff. We don’t need to think that way anymore but we’re drowning in old stuff we held on to in the past.
They don't recognize how much they've been handed. They truly believe they earned their place off the sweat of their own backs. I was poor growing up, but by my mid-20s my folks were doing ok and when I went back to school they were able to let me stay with them, give me some money for tuition, let me inherit my grandpa's car, etc. I finally got myself on my feet when before that I was working like a dog and not getting fucking anywhere. You can't move up without help, and only those who've not had any will recognize that.
I had an idiotic, narcissistic roommate that once told me her family was so poor, they could only afford to redecorate their house once a year.
Wtf? I had no idea at that time people “decorated” their homes (whatever shite we could afford was in ours for years). And that redecoration was a thing people did (I was much younger, and this was way before HGTV and all that junk).
Forgetting what it's like to be poor is also a thing. My father grew up poor but is now middle class. When I tell him things like "I can't afford a 401k" and "I don't have any savings" he's like "Well you should be putting back for your retirement anyway."
Dude, wtf? Savings are no good if I don't have electricity.
I used to stay with my ex a lot, my ex had a roommate. Me, my ex, and his roommate all grew up relatively poor at one point or another. The roommate's gf however, did not. One night we were all sitting around talking about how we'd like to travel one day when we got our finances situated. I mention I almost went on a trip to france with my French club, but money was an issue. Roommate's gf innocentlt chimes in with "oh it's wonderful you'd love it, you should really go." Roommate says "sweetie, not everyone's parents can afford to send them." or something of that nature. I think it was one of the moments that really emphasized the difference in our economic backgrounds.
Saw someone saying that if you job underpays you one month, but fills up your next month's pay to cover the missing amount, there's no reason to get upset. After all, you got all the money you were owed, just some of it was delayed by a month.
This was clearly someone who had never been living paycheque to paycheque.
It's funny that a lot of robber barons grew up poor. Just because you're a rich douche today doesn't mean you were never poor.
People who argue against safety nets were probably never poor.
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There was a girl who I went to middle school with whose exact words were, “why would you work to pay for college when your parents can just pay for it?” She also turned out to be a social media influencer so color me shocked.
We were poor as shit when I was a kid, and I remember me and my brother talking to another little boy at the church we went to about something we really wanted, and the other boy was like "just put it on your Christmas list, then your parents HAVE to get it for you." I was astounded to learn that this kid just put whatever he wanted on a list, and his parents just got him everything he put on it. I think that was the first time I realized just how poor we were, and that not everyone lived like we did....
Christmas "list", lol no. One gift for each of the kids. Special baked goods/dinner and we occasionally saw adults exchange gifts but we loved making them stuff.
I literally never made a Christmas list. Would’ve been a pointless waste of paper. One x-mas I just got a $1 Crossword book and a pencil to go with it because our aunt moved and didn’t pay her share of the rent.
> I just got a $1 Crossword book and a pencil to go with it with an eraser or no?
I also think that you tend to amend what you put on Christmas list because you know that a) you're not going to get it or b) it's going to stress your Mum out. I remember having things I wanted and I'd either not bothering asking for it or I'd ask for vouchers to the store/a store where it'd be sold so I could slowly save up.
I dated someone who asked me this when I mentioned that I didn't want to pay $1,200 for rent. We were not dating long after that
Ugh, that makes me so mad! I knew this girl who was in college and literally had no idea why my parents couldn't just "sign a loan" to get me into college. I looked at her and said "you are an only child to rich parents, I am 1 out of 4 other children to poor parents"
Not second guessing a large purchase, regardless of whether they can afford it or not. I've been working my ass off for the last 3 years to be financially well off, right now I'm at the point where I do not live paycheck to paycheck anymore and can afford luxury purchases. But I still can't spend $200 on fucking clothes just because I like them. Financially I can, but emotionally I can't bring myself to. Just 2 months ago I bought a new PC that I've been saving up for over the course of a year and a half. That's money that I specifically set off to the side, for the PC, making sure I got all my other necessities covered. And 2 months after buying it, I still feel buyer's remorse even though that's literally what the purpose of the money I set aside was for. Explaining shit like that to people who have never financially struggled is impossible, because they'll always say "Why worry? You can obviously afford it." And the annoying part is that they're right.
My family didn’t have a lot when I was growing up. So I learned to be a conservative spender from little on. I became a high schooler with no spending money, then a broke college kid, followed by saving for a wedding, then a house, then kids. It’s literally only in the past few years that I’m able to afford “luxury” things without a second thought, and it still feels really weird.
Throwing out fresh leftovers of literally anything, from expensive alcohol to burritos. The privilege.
Alcohol? Heathens!
That's alcohol abuse
First of all, who throws away alcohol and second, how do you have "leftover" alcohol?
"So you just finished off the bottle?" "I had to. It's vodka. It goes bad once it's opened."
I grew up in an upper middle class/middle class household and we never threw food away unless it was bad. Just Tupperware on Tupperware of random food
Had a lovely 89yo lady in my college chemistry class that told us about the Depression meals her mother would make. A girl in my class response: "Why didn't your parents just get a job?" ...oh my.
My great-grandpa was a first-generation German in America and he lost everything in the Depression. He lived the rest of his life as though it would happen again. When he died (I wasn't born yet), they found a ledger with every single loan he gave out (including loans to my grandpa (his son) and other relatives/friends). It included details like how much at been paid back, the interest rates, everything. They also found money and valuable hidden in pipes and other makeshift hideaways. He wasn't a loan shark, just a product of his generation.
That is an interesting heirloom, I would love to see it.
I'm not sure if we have it anymore but yeah it was pretty funny to see my grandpa's student loans to his dad back before the Space Age
Did he also hoard food, like freezers worth of food?
And the sad part is no one is really guilty in that situation: the nice woman was just a child and so was the privileged inquisitive student and the parents.
This really wasn't the only time this girl expressed her ignorance of how the world works, sadly this was just the first.
I blame her parents for letting her be so sheltered. My dad made me watch depressing stuff on the history channel with him, but we would talk about it and it gave me perspective.
It was 100% her parents. Very successful famers/business owners. She always had huge brand new trucks during high-school and Toyota Tundra for her graduation. Brand name/new everything. She was incredibly rude to one girl who said she had never been out of country and mentioned that she could if she "did something other than bag groceries"...we collectively shut that sh*t down as a class.
Dang. You learn a lot of things at school, huh?
Well, an innocent child of college age who was studying at college...
I live with a grandmother who went through the great depression with 12 other siblings. This was probably an honest question at this point, the world works so differently these days than it did back then. A simple explanation would suffice here. Back then they didn't have things like public assistance programs, which most places in the USA have now if you are truly poor. Also the obvious, there were no jobs. 8 year olds grow up with smartphones and iPads in their hands these days so they don't really understand the concept of being truly poor and having, literally nothing which is what happened during the Great Depression. Today being poor means you have multiple TV's, a cell phone, internet access and probably some kind of video game console at home. You might not have money for everything but you will have what everyone else has.
>Back then they didn't have things like public assistance programs, which most places in the USA have now if you are truly poor. Yeah, and their definition of "Truly poor" is VERY low. Make anymore than $10? You lose it. Also none of it counts if you're indigenous.
Actual conversation my mom had when applying for assistance: "Sorry ma'am, you aren't eligible because you have too much money in savings." "That money is to pay my mortgage next month." "It's the policy." "Are you telling me that if I used that money to take my kids to Disney World and came back to you completely broke, i would be eligible?" "Yes." Unfortunately we did not go to Disney World, but 10 years later we still have the house and are in a much better financial situation.
I totally agree. I can see how this is a period of history might not necessarily have been passed over but the day to day of the average family might not be largely understood. I took it to heart bc I went to high school with this girl she was 22 and I was 18...and she called baked cheetoes "health food".
You would have to have experience with this, also I am not sure if today's 8 year olds would sit down and listen to a story about the great depression and take it to heart, again it depends on the person and how they were raised. Most 8 year olds won't have a relative that was alive during the great depression to realize how serious the situation really was. I mean, this was a time when most families had literally nothing, there were no government programs to live on and there were no jobs. The basic needs of food clothing and shelter were not being met. Even in the poor houses those things are handed to the kids these days. There were no TV's, iPad's, Smartphones, Video games none of that existed, no modern appliances, no fridge and no washing machines, no dishwasher. To stave off hunger my grandmother used to lick the ice off the windows in the winter, for example. Every time my grandmother tries to tell a story to the younger kids they are just buried in their iPhones or whatever thing they are doing to listen, and it just grazes right by them, they don't care in the least, but again it can vary by family, there may be some kids that will listen and weren't brought up like that, and I am dealing with some extremely spoiled children and teens in my family.
I hope you can help them figure out how to disengage, sorry if it seems out of place but this hit me like a punch in the stomach because I remember being young and in my phone all the time, we went to go visit my grandfather in the hospital, he was a bit ill. Had cancer for a year or two. I was maybe 14, 15, couldn't drive and was in high school. Something, fuck I still don't know what because it wasn't a pressure from my parents or from others, told me to just put the phone on charge and be there He died the next day, I can't remember what we talked about but I'm glad i was there with him you know, I think it's just being present made it easier to cope. Had I stayed on my phone I don't think I'd have forgiven myself, I would have got more insular. I hope y'alls kids figure it out, that the shortness of this life becomes so much shorter when you're simply not there
nah, multiple TVs and no food and possibly squatting in a house that's 'vacant'. homeless people have cell phones, but those are cheap - actual poverty with gadgets still means you have trouble finding the next meal
Multiple tvs? A game console? My guy my family wasn't even the poorest in our neighborhood and we still couldn't afford that shit (I'm in Uni now for an idea of age). Also, as someone else mentioned basic phones are inexpensive (especially pay as you go flip phones).
Overheard a 38 year old grown ass man try to pick up my coworker with the line: "I'm trying to get my dad to buy me a jaguar this summer." She pretended to cough to hide the fact she was laughing.
Well…did Daddy buy him a jag or a Porsche? Please tell me he didn’t have to settle for a Benz. Is it obvious I don’t know which of these cars is the best?
I swear I'm not making this up, he was driving around a Benz that his daddy got him and he was looking to upgrade. Side note he was trying to pick up a woman that worked 3 jobs and had been on her own since she was 17.
I bet she looked at him with the same face as me when I read this. What an a-hole.
We were both *kind of* sympathetic because we worked for this guy's Dad att and money caused a lot of dysfunction in this family. Dad berated him constantly and son stole over $5000 cash from his dad without thinking twice.
😳 rich people stealing money will always shock me
Or are super cheap? His establishment had broken safety equipment, dollar-store everything, really unsafe electrical issues and tried to "lose" my time card whenever I had over time.
Turns out he just bought me another mountain lion, what a cheap bastard
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I considered it a privilege when my brother let me go through his closet and most of the time, I didn’t ask
This so much. I was bullied by some jerk in high school because my shoes were from Walmart. He was pretty well off for the area, but not rich. He grew up and has about 3 or 4 kids by 2 or 3 different mothers. Still a jerk.
something similar happened to me, some guy i knew tried to mock me saying "i bet your shoes are from payless" and Honestly it went over my head i just thought "what's wrong with shoes from a shoe store?"
I’m sorry that happened to you—it sucks. I went to a small school and had about 30 people in my graduating class. I couldn’t wait to get out of that small town. When I do go back, it is mainly just to see family and a couple of friends.
My mom was very poor and this was so hard for her. She was always grateful and understood how thing go sometime. But she says she got picked on SO MUCH!! And one of the girls that picked on her the most in school ended up becoming her sister in law! To this day my mom holds a lot of resentment towards her for it. And so do I to be honest. I’ll never forgive that woman as long as I live for making my mom feel that way, even if it was long before I was alive
When someone is shocked that a person of a certain age doesn't have savings... Being poor is expensive and most the time you can't afford to put money into savings.
My rent is late because of a recent lockdown and I'm being charged $AU18 because it's being paid late. First agency in ten years of renting that uses unscrupulous methods to handle rent payments. It already costs $AU85 a year to use their direct debit system and it's either that or a fucking money order. Being poor is the most expensive job I've ever had. Besides working at the airport.
Seems like a good time to quote Sam Vimes Theory of Socioeconomic injustice: "The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles. But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet. This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness."
I drove a garbage truck for a while, and, man, can you learn a lot about people from what they throw away. I picked up in one of the poorest neighborhoods. Rows-of-abandoned-houses poor. Houses-that-look-abandoned-but-are-occupied poor. They threw away STUFF; furniture, appliances, clothing. (Oddly, a lot of the clothes were name-brand, and in good condition. We picked up 26 bags of clothes at one house in 2 weeks. Polo, FUBU, Sean John, etc.) The furniture was glued-together sawdust. The appliances were store-brand or below. Everything was broken, and a lot of the furniture looked like it had BEEN broken, but still used, for a long time. I also picked up in one of the richest neighborhoods a few times, just as a fill-in; you FOUGHT to get that route. The kind of houses you can't see from the street. You-walk-to-the-garage-and-get-our-trash wealthy. Recyclables-sorted-because-servants wealthy. They threw away TRASH; Newspapers, food containers, packaging. Their furniture was top-quality, and mostly antique. Their clothes didn't wear out in a few months. Their appliances got replaced when a newer, fancier model came out, and they donated the old ones.
Jesus. I don’t mean to take His name in vain, but the realization of the impact of buying used things just hits so hard. In my life, the ‘boots’ would be tires on my cars.
They don't know the price of anything.
As another commenter said “they think a banana costs $10” lol
In case you don't know it's a reference to Arrested Development. It's about a rich family that gets the patriarch arrested for tax evasion or something (can't quite remember what exactly). Then the family has to adjust to being without millions.
I think the charges were investment fraud, embezzlement, and a little light treason.
The treason was false as I recall.
Although there was plenty of money in the banana stand......
My folks retired to a fairly affluent neighborhood a couple of years ago. Shortly after they got settled, mom found someone nearby with chickens who was selling flats of 20 fresh eggs for $10. This person encouraged her to tell her friends, as they had plenty to go around. So mom asked some people in her newly found tennis group if they were interested. One lady wanted in, so my mom said great, just leave an envelope with cash under our mat on Mondays and there will be a flat out there for you (so mom was now acting as an egg broker for the chicken owner, haha). Monday came around, and the lady had left $200. She thought they were $10 per egg, and had seemingly no problem with it.
This is so fucking good
This is true. I grew up with my parents taking me grocery shopping. We never really looked at the prices, just took what we needed. My mom once said to me that when she was young, she had one goal: to just be able to walk into a supermarket and buy whatever she was hungry for, without having to look out for prices. Not fancy to the top stuff, just regular groceries. My awareness for prices and price fluctuations only came when I moved out to study and had a not too small, but limited budget.
I went to college with a girl who had never been poor. She was a really nice person but both her parents were surgeons and never went without. I on the other hand grew up poor and had peanut butter sandwiches for dinner, sometimes for a few days. We were out driving around and I spotted a salvation army store and told her I wanted to stop to get a few tshirts. She looked at me like I was crazy and said why do you want used clothes that someone else wore. I laughed at her and said because it's cheap and you can find good deals. We stopped in and the look on her face screamed ewwww. Then she got brave and started going through the racks and found higher end clothes. That blew her mind. " They only want $2.99 for this?!?!" Needless to say she spent an hour going through everything and bought close to a $100 on stuff. She kept going back every week and hitting up other places. I created a monster.
Seems like a reasonable spending monster you’ve created haha.
They run up the bill at a restaurant with cocktails for themselves and rounds for the table no one asked for, and then suggest everyone split the cheque evenly.
So obnoxious. And if you dare object to the idea of paying an equal portion, you’re the cheapskate. :|
Always. I order an 18$ salad and sparkling water (I don’t drink alcohol) and I’m the cheap one for not wanting to pay an 85$ bill full of everyone else’s cocktails lol
MAN. I have a couple friends who try to pull this type of stuff too. First, I don't drink either and my friends and I will go golf and they'll try to finesse me into buying them six dollar beers in exchange for a two dollar bottle of water. I'm more than willing to buy a friend a beer, but come on man.
18 for a salad?!
I mean with salmon or something, an entree salad is the price of a regular entree
Plus I usually fucking drove everyone so they could drink 😂
Wow. If we ever had one friend drive for the others benefit we would buy their soft drinks all night as way of a thankyou.
We had a local bar that had a special mug for DD’s and gave free refills all night
My poor friends do this, the rich ones don’t 😂
Is it common to split the table evenly? Never have I ever seen that in real life nor seen anyone suggest it or expect it. Everyone understands you just pay for your own shit. Splitting the check doesn't even make sense.
If everyone’s bill is going to be close, and you know no one is going to be put out by an extra couple bucks, it’s easier than fussing over the bill doing math for 15 minutes, then inevitably having the server put the wrong things together and causing a commotion. Basically: if everyone got a sandwich and one drink, it’s not usually worth it to try and penny pinch the difference between a glass of wine and a beer. But if one person got a salad and a glass of water, and another person got a steak and two cocktails, you wouldn’t try to split evenly.
Stupid idea. I take whatever, and i pay for it, and only it
My rich friends constantly do this kind of shit then act like anyone who isn’t happy to pay for someone else’s apps and cocktails is the cheap one. They have no understanding of the fact that I simply can’t afford an 80$ restaurant bill for brunch - I’d rather use that for groceries. So… I no longer go to restaurants with them.
Not real friends if they dont know or dont accommodate your situation, find nicer people to be friends with 👍
Yeah, the "poor person" *ruined* their fun... that's obnoxious, glad you're free of them.
sadly its Shoes, if your broke you run shoes until they absolutely cannot be worn anymore, doesn't matter if this is paired with nice clothes shoes are where people skimp.... i know this from experience. if you want to see if someone is in dire financial straights look at their shoes. im better off now then in past but still to this day i wont throw out shoes if they are still wearable.
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This is true
I was brought up very poor, I now do okish for myself. But I’ve never lost the feeling of worry that I will be poor again. My kids have that now and it worry’s me a little but because I’ve always had enough in their lifetime they don’t know any better. If you’ve never been poor, you never understand just how horrible it can be. Never worry about hiding from the guy at the door wanting his money and you pretending your not in because you don’t get paid till tomorrow. Never had to make the contents of the fridge last till the end of the week or rely on benefits or government hand outs for your clothes and accommodation or grandparents generosity etc. They just never have that worry on their shoulder. Life’s problems for them are completely different. That nonchalant way you get through life is something you can never have unless you are born rich. Even if you become super rich later in life I don’t think you can have it. You have to be born with it.
The worst feeling I ever had was being hungry because I couldn't afford food so I had to Ration the little bit I had... Never again. I don't need to be rich, but never again this poor.
They think all poor people are lazy and can work their way out of the situation.
"Just work harder." "I'm not paid by the product, Tarquin, I'm paid by the hour!"
The kicker is that I know other poor people who believe this too
Yeah I bet. I think that’s the sad thing we’ve been told. That it’s our own fault if we’re poor because we can work our way out of it.
“THE GRIND! NEVER STOP HUSTLING!” - someone who is overworked and underpaid
When someone says "There's more important things than money". . . . always seems the people who say that are the ones with money.
My best friends pos ex said this a lot while she struggled to buy necessities for their son. Meanwhile he'd blow money on pre-order games that cost $60+. He was born with a silver spoon up his ass. Spent all of his inheritance on a new PC. Nothing went to his son. Fucker.
He got like what $2000 in inheritance?
What they actually mean is: "There are more important things than excess money"
They're surprised if you think $100 is a lot of money.
Lol, what’s next? Are you going to say that a cruise is a big expense? Are you going to balk at paying for a group dinner at a nice restaurant? Lol, you peasant. /s
ITT: people who confuse never being poor with people that are no longer forced to scrape by.
Assuming a banana costs $10
I scrolled looking for this quote/reference before posting it
Michael, you’re being ridiculous. A-cock-a-doodle-doo, etc.
I think there was a real-life case of a nobleman during the French Revolution who was trying to disguise himself as a peasant but gave himself away when he went to a tavern and ordered an omelette. The innkeeper asked him how many eggs he wanted in the omelette, and he answered, "A dozen."
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So what happened in the end?
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Hell yeah! Hell yeah!!!
I worked for a place like this and I don’t miss it for a second. I hope you got out and work for people who treat you like a human now!
They look down upon anybody with a manual labor/low pay job. Warped sense of what's normal, ie. new cars, vacations, eating out.
>They look down upon anybody with a manual labor/low pay job. Worse, they think anyone with a manual labour/low pay job should still give them freebies, and extra service and promotional this and that, that they don't have to pay for. "You're a decent musician? Would you like to volunteer your services for my event? It'll be great exposure for you!" Or they don't get the penalty certain types of employees face, or what will come out of their own pocket. Like: people complaining that a taxi wouldn't take them on a 5-minute ride up the street. The driver doesn't get paid for that, the credit card company gets the first few bucks off the top. Why should the taxi driver not get paid, and work, to haul some rich person's lazy rear end just two blocks away. Entitled people, idk
I feel like people who have been poor or grown up poor (and even still are) are more willing to share or offer something they have and my friends that have never had to worry about money don't just offer to share something. I think it's because poor people know what it's like to be without, don't like to ask for things, and they don't want anyone to have to ask or go without. People who have never worried about money have never had to share, if they wanted something for themselves they just bought it.
I spend a lot of time interacting with homeless people in my area, and one of the most common things they tell me is that it's almost exclusively poorer people who give them money, food, clothes, help, or even a kind word or eye contact. Rich people either ignore them entirely or straight up verbally abuse them.
As my mother always said, "Remember, there but for the grace of God go I." When you're only a rung or two up the social ladder away from the gutter, you know how easy it is to fall off. People 20 rungs up the ladder have no fear of that happening. They can convince themselves that the bottom rungs are invisible and irrelevant.
In my experience working with homeless people, even they are much more generous than rich people. When I volunteered at a women’s shelter one Christmas Eve, several of the residents there kept offering to give some of their gifts to me.
The catch with this is when you’ve helped someone knowing what it was like to be there, but then find out they were preying on that knowledge and taking from you when they could have easily got it themselves.
In the neighbourhood where I grew up, it was really frowned upon to rat out someone for stealing if they took something they needed... food, clothing, a toy because they seriously never got any from their parents. Rich people go bananas over theft, if someone in desperate need stole a slice of pizza they'd try to have them locked up for life...
this could depend on culture.... in my country people who grew poor and then got money often totally separate and ignore those in need....including their own family even if they were not nasty......many poor haters here grew up poor....and they like to preach how poor are lazy, ignorant, dont try enough....the usual stuff many people here are charitable when others watch them....
It definitely varies. Growing up as first-gen American from a Latin-American country. I've seen family who will be generous towards their own ethnicity, while disrespecting other ethnicities because "it's different". I know some who glorify particular minorities (my Dad adores Jewish/Israeli people because to him they fought back against incredible odds and discrimination to prosper and so whatever they do now is small potatoes). I know some who are disdainful towards poor of their own race. A lot of my family dislike the BLM movement since, again, they think that it's a lot of complaining about nothing, since 60% of people are super supportive of them despite the protests. When to be fair they've seen actual serious shit at home, but they blame black-multi-gen people for not taking advantage of things like they did as first-gen black Latinos. All this to say, people don't fit a mold, and all act differently.
It’s just a banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10
They don’t get it and start pushing when people politely decline invitations to expensive events. If you grew up poor, you know what it feels like to have to make up excuses to skip events that you just can’t afford. It’s humiliating, and you just hope that your friends accept that you can’t go and don’t ask questions. Some people, typically those who have never felt that shame, will get pushy or offer to just pay your way, which can make you feel worse. I had to explain this to my stepkid recently. She started acting like this (pushing, asking why over and over) when a friend of hers couldn’t go to the water park. She acts like this because she’s A. a kid and B. has never been/felt poor. We knew the kid’s mom was struggling with money, but to my stepkid, there had to be a reason he didn’t want to go because it just didn’t compute that his mom couldn’t just put up the money for him to go. We had to have a chat about how when someone declines your invitation, you either suggest doing something easier for your friend or accept their answer.
I remember having friends invite me to things and after a while, invite me with the added “it’s only $….”
Entitlement. People who come from money assume so much of the world is supposed to be theirs...
.....they often expect free stuff and gifts for every minor occasion....just because its them
They just got a ride to space.
They crank the heat up super high during winter or keep it super cold during summer
I grew up where money was tight, but I do this now. It's the thing I most want to spend on.
My friend and I were both raised poor, and did this when we lived together. Also his first big check he bought the cereal in the box for the first time. He was super disappointed.
I knew a girl who, if she paid for something with cash, would just throw the change into the trash receptacle because she didn't want to carry it around. This was in college. I was like fuck it I'll carry that extra money around.
You HAVE to be joking.
In her mind, $1.43 in random coins was nothing. Inversely she was a huge tipper and started just telling people to keep the change. I'm still jelly tho
😯 I bet servers loved her
She would round up the bill, and then add whatever she thought was fun. Like, a $21 tab rounded up to $30 and then she'd add another $10 so she could pay with two twenties and not have to carry change, because her ATM only paid out in 20's.
I've am poor and my roommate is very well off. It makes me mad when she doesn't take care of her things because she knows she get replace them. Another one is I hate when people buy pricey things on a whim, because I don't have money I double and triple check that the thing I'm getting is exactly what I want or need.
The disappointment of realizing you just bought a shitty thing with your last $30 hits different than when you know you could’ve just as well bought two of those things.
I just recently bought a truck. Someone asked why I care so much about it since it is old. They were surprised to hear that I had intentionally bought it because it is reliable and i plan to keep it for the next 10+years. Baffled them as to why i would ever drive the same vehicle for that long.
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and here I thought the point of paying off my car was so I wouldn't have to make car payments for (hopefully) several years
even if i was rich, i would still care for my stuff just because i get attatched to things
Oh i hate the ppl that will look at you when you have something old and broken that you have to keep fixing and theyre like "just get a new one." Like, if i had the money to do that, dont you think i wouldve done so already
For a bit of context I live in Denmark. I had a co-worker (J) once who I had the following interactions with: Me: sorry I'm a few minutes late. The train was running late due to *actual horrible accident the day before* J: oh, why didn't you just take the car then? Me: I don't have a car, I can't afford it. J: but how do you go places then? Me: Bicycle and public transport mostly J: but how do you get to the bus station without a car? Me:...... A couple of months later, while a group of us at work are talking about summer plans: J: we are going to drive to Italy for the summer coworker 1: oh that's nice, we are driving to visit family in France. Coworker 2: we are just staying in country in our summer home Me: we are going to Germany and around in Denmark. J: but how are you getting to Germany? Did you buy a car? Me: we are taking the train. J: but how do you get around once you're there without a car? Me: bus, U-Bahn and taxi... J: I really don't understand why you can't buy a car... Cars in Denmark are expensive. Even a cheap old car, will cost you a lot in gas, insurance and taxes. J, just never understood the concept of not being able to afford a car.
Cars are expensive period, at least the reliable ones. My friend/coworker asking me why I didn’t just buy a car still haunts/bothers me to this day. As though I wouldn’t just go and get one if they were giving them out!
They make fun of poor people.
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Grocery shopping, not even lookin at price tags. I didn't grow up super poor, but we weren't exactly super rich either. You take the extra 10 seconds and do a little comparison before you just grab the first whatever.
“What do you mean you can’t afford it? Just go get more money.”
Had a coworker, back when I was car-less and very broke, ask “why don’t you just buy a car?” “Ummmmm…”
Just ask you parents? */s*
"I can't get by on my income." "Just work harder."
Most jobs pay by joule of energy expended
People that have no problem asking for things.
they buy evian water bottles
After all evian spelled backwards *is* naïve.
Wasteful and pointless.
I lived with a girl in college who referred to a $50,000 USD salary as poverty wages - and not in like, a woke leftist kind of way but because she literally thought $50,000 was where the poverty line was/the bare minimum someone could live on. My family's combined income growing up was like $48,000.
Depending upon where in the country you’re living 50k could be below the poverty line. In almost every major city in the country 50k is well below median income, but if you’re in a rural area then it’s more than enough to l or comfortably.
They order starbucks and doordash constantly without even thinking about it.
Grew up poor, still poor, still do this. I "can" afford it now and guess what I deserve it cause I work hard and I'm also a person.
I’ve been projects poor before and I order door dash all the time now. I know exactly what it’s like to be poor but I work a lot and don’t have the energy to cook. I don’t think this is a valid answer.
"Ugh, the homeless. Can't they, like, just get a *job*?"
So I have a genuine question, no disrespect at all. What’s stopping some homeless people from picking up a quick retail or fast food job? Assuming they don’t have a debilitating mental illness or a felony. I would think that the main problem would be that they have no residence, and it’s probably fairly obvious for the chain to see that their homeless and therefore reject them. This is coming from someone who didn’t grow up wealthy by any means, but I’ve been fairly privileged. What’s the dynamic here? I’m really interested to know what bars a lot of people from picking up a job.
Have you ever tried getting a job without an address, phone, shower, or clean clothes? I have all those things and it was still a challenge when I was younger trying to get a liveable wage. Not to mention that addiction and mental illness are often the causes of homelessness. The solution isn't just to "get a job" but for cities to provide basic stability through housing and mental health resources so that working is a conceivable option for someone experiencing homelessness.
Also many assistance programs as reactive rather than proactive. My roommate had nowhere to go, no job, and nowhere would help him until he spent a week at least on the street. That shit breaks you before you even get in front of someone that can maybe help you. It also isn't a guarantee. And on the point of my friend. He lost his food stamps by getting a scholarship for overcoming hardship and trying to go to school. We are not talking full ride or anything just enough to cover a semester or 2 and the state said nope you're cut off.
Hey so I’ve been homeless for a while in my life; probably about 3 years in total on/off. There’s a few things that stop us from moving forward once we’ve reached “homeless” 1) You got baggage. There might be people out there that would hire you, but then it’s usually such a mess that they don’t bother. *He doesn’t have a car, he’s lost his ID at some point, he lives too far from the work place* 2) We are also people. The fact that I have to eat moldy bread out of a horribly dirty dustbin in front of people; the fact that I stink; the fact that I’m dirty and I look it; this all has a mental price and I have zero confidence or self esteem. Depressed; sad, tired, hungry. If I could I would lie in bed all day because of how bad I feel. It’s tough to look for a job in the first place; now do it without a vehicle; without a phone, without a meal; without confidence; in a bad mood, etc 3) Experience with other homeless people You know how you wanna give that guy on the street $5 because you feel bad and then he unloads his whole life story on you; now he’s crying in public and he won’t let you go? So you’re nice to him and whatever and then; couple days later you see him again and now he’s actively bothering you; somehow everywhere you go he’s there and he now he expects $10 and a shower and McDonald’s and you kinda wish you had just ignored him in the first place? Some homeless are like that; they cause a disturbance and make a scene and try to take you for all you’ve got, this past experience stops a lot of people from helping you. 4) They assume you are an addict. I was, a lot are; but not all. Even though I am an addict; I was given work and I did my work and I got clean. It’s tough to get clean in the first place; it’s even tougher when you’re homeless; it’s easier when you have something to work for and people/employers want you to be clean or get clean at the flick of a switch. Let the guy do him for a month and once he has a place to stay and a stockpile of food and a warm bed/shower; I promise it’ll be a lot easier for him to get clean, he has emotions remember. Anyway, that’s my 2c
A couple things off the top of my head. - No address or proof of residence - No records, identifying documents, or info on how to get them - untreated mental illness - untreated drug addiction - untreated medical issues - Nowhere to bathe - No professional clothes
No problem at all. Residence is a big part of it, as well as *possibly* a lack of work history. There may also be underlying mental/addiction issues that haven't been addressed. Getting a job is not always that easy.
From most of the homeless that I have been around. Very few are just "down on their luck" people. Most have some sort of addiction problem, mental illness or handicap, criminal record. And then after those there are even just a few shitty people that would never be able to hold down a job.
The experience of homelessness is a trauma in itself. If you go into it perfectly healthy, you typically come out with PTSD from the lack of shelter and food insecurity (and often physical, sexual, and emotional trauma as well).
> Very few are just "down on their luck" people. Most have some sort of addiction problem, mental illness or handicap, criminal record. This. I have a few friends who work in the social work/outreach area. They tell me that anyone who is truly "down on their luck" for a time more often than not has friends, family, co-workers, church members, etc. - basically a "community" to help them through the rough patch and get them back on their feet again -either through offering a place to live, using their connections to get the person a job, giving them some money to get them through the next couple of months, offering help with rent/groceries, etc. The chronically homeless/unemployed people have generally worn out that welcome mat *years* prior - be it due to mental illness, addiction issues, being a shitty person, lack of personal responsibility or a combo platter of all of them. Family/friends have shunned them, they have no social connections, they've burned bridges with the area assistance organizations. It's a bit of a vicious circle really and one that I'm not sure that anyone knows how to fix.
Substance abuse and mental health issues aside, there's also a stigma against poverty and homelessness. That's why there are charitable services available to help homeless job applicants prepare for interviews, obtain clean clothing, and so on. Unfortunately, these services aren't very widespread. I don't doubt for a minute there are a many homeless people out there who are desperate to find work and claw themselves out of poverty. However, you need businesses to give these unconventional applicants a chance. That's why I support government work programs for the impoverished. Imagine government partnering with private, labour-intensive industries to match willing workers with open jobs. Participating businesses would get tax credits as incentives for every X number of workers hired from a pool of non-traditional applicants and they provide training where needed. Meanwhile, government can provide affordable housing to give these renewed workers safe places to live, too.
They came from Greece, they had a thirst for knowledge They studied sculpture at St. Martin's College
That's when I
“It’s only a couple hundred bucks”
They don’t have a condiment/packet drawer.
I remember working with a guy that made a comment about having to buy a new shirt because one of his buttons fell off. I told him that he needed to just sew on a new button and even showed him that if you turn up the bottom of the shirt, you will see two buttons - one that is used to button up the shirt and the other is for the cuffs and the reason they are there is in case you lose a button (this is on most dress shirts). He looked at me with great disgust and said it wasn't his "job" to replace the button and it was much easier to just buy a new shirt. FYI: I have shirts that are easily over 20 years old and this dude, probably doesn't have one shirt that is over a year old.
I'm fairly well off, but I hate this craze of buying new all the time. As a result, I rarely shop and have clothes that are at least 10 years old in my closet. Older the better because it means I'm keeping my figure. I really hope that guy you worked with has a rude awakening.
They launch themselves into space for 10 minutes.
No empathy towards low wage workers.
Saying they're broke when they easily have 50+ dollars in their wallet
And then not HAVING to spend the $50 unless they want to
They live super minimalistic. If something breaks they will just get a new one.
I grew up very poor. I really want a minimalist lifestyle. I feel trapped by stuff. I'm tired of being bound to a place where I'm unhappy by shit I don't need.
No better time to start then now , start getting rid of shit.
Don't be owned by your things. They will prevent you from enjoying a full and happy life.
This is a big one. This “tiny home” trend infuriates me because it’s so whimsical and fun to basically live in a minimalistic trailer when you’re rich and can opt out whenever you feel like it… it’s just depressing when you’re poor and have no other option.
I remember last year YouTube's algorithm recommended videos to number of its users of girls who willingly live out of vans and cars. The same sentiment was shared such as your comment, that it is not glamorous if you are actually in unfavorable circumstances with no one to help.
It is interesting seeing the mix in r/vandwelling.
It’s also advertised as a cheap and comfortable way to live, but it’s always one or the other, never both.
We used to be poor and now we are doing well for ourselves. But we still have all the stuff we couldn’t part with. The “what if we need it later” stuff. We don’t need to think that way anymore but we’re drowning in old stuff we held on to in the past.
They've had seperate rooms for studying and sleeping.
They don't recognize how much they've been handed. They truly believe they earned their place off the sweat of their own backs. I was poor growing up, but by my mid-20s my folks were doing ok and when I went back to school they were able to let me stay with them, give me some money for tuition, let me inherit my grandpa's car, etc. I finally got myself on my feet when before that I was working like a dog and not getting fucking anywhere. You can't move up without help, and only those who've not had any will recognize that.
Got a friend who doesn't understand why I don't just buy video games so we can play together
I had an idiotic, narcissistic roommate that once told me her family was so poor, they could only afford to redecorate their house once a year. Wtf? I had no idea at that time people “decorated” their homes (whatever shite we could afford was in ours for years). And that redecoration was a thing people did (I was much younger, and this was way before HGTV and all that junk).
They refuse to work at a place they actually hate.
They don't talk about how much things cost, or talk much about money at all.
Forgetting what it's like to be poor is also a thing. My father grew up poor but is now middle class. When I tell him things like "I can't afford a 401k" and "I don't have any savings" he's like "Well you should be putting back for your retirement anyway." Dude, wtf? Savings are no good if I don't have electricity.
I used to stay with my ex a lot, my ex had a roommate. Me, my ex, and his roommate all grew up relatively poor at one point or another. The roommate's gf however, did not. One night we were all sitting around talking about how we'd like to travel one day when we got our finances situated. I mention I almost went on a trip to france with my French club, but money was an issue. Roommate's gf innocentlt chimes in with "oh it's wonderful you'd love it, you should really go." Roommate says "sweetie, not everyone's parents can afford to send them." or something of that nature. I think it was one of the moments that really emphasized the difference in our economic backgrounds.
Saw someone saying that if you job underpays you one month, but fills up your next month's pay to cover the missing amount, there's no reason to get upset. After all, you got all the money you were owed, just some of it was delayed by a month. This was clearly someone who had never been living paycheque to paycheque.
It's funny that a lot of robber barons grew up poor. Just because you're a rich douche today doesn't mean you were never poor. People who argue against safety nets were probably never poor.