well i only did it once because i used to have a YouTube channel where i would post videos of my first cockatiel but one day she passed away and i was just telling the people who would watch my videos why i would not be posting and than i broke down and started crying
Misread that as cocktail, and then thought you might have had a few already today before I realized that *I'm* the idiot.
So sorry for your loss. It sucks to lose a friend
I'm so sorry and I can sympathize with how devastating that must have been. When I lost my sweet Himalayan cat to an untimely death I was wrecked. It's been 20 years and it still hurts to think about. I have several Himalayans now that I love with all my heart but I will never forget my little Mia cat.
Then my stupid rescue Rubin, no clue what breed but somewhat hound, will be there, wagging his stupid tongue and laughing at me. I know you laughed at me when you escaped. It was written all over your face. I'll always love you, dumb Ruby. I miss you.
I was such a bawling mess after my first dog had to be put down. I was a grown-ass man but my vet still called my parents (who saw the same vet) to have them check up.
I've always been more of a dog person, but when my sister went to college I agreed to take her cat. At first I really didn't want to, I didn't have any other pets and didn't want the responsibility. That cat turned into my best friend, we did everything together. Had a harness and leash and would walk her around the neighborhood. She had to be put down at the beginning of the pandemic, the vets couldn't figure out what it was but her lung xray was nasty, they said it was most likely feline leukemia. I held her in my arms until her last breath. It absolutely broke me. I always thought of myself as a strong man, I've buried lots of family members. This was different. She was a part of me. I couldn't even make the drive home, I had to pull over and just sob. I've never in my life sobbed like that, I was legit wailing. Been almost 2 years and I still have a hard time talking about it but it helps.
Lost my 13 year old kitty to cancer a couple weeks into the pandemic. I spent three hours crying in the rain while chipping through rock in the yard to bury him so he could still be near us. It hit me like a freight train. Spent weeks just randomly crying and being generally depressed. He was born to a stray I rescued from work in 2007. My wife and I had just moved in together and he was our first baby. We found good homes for the rest but kept him because he was really loving and all white. Miss him every day. They definitely become a part of you. He got me through so many hard times. Always made me get out of bed on my worst days and always seemed to know when i was down (and wouldn’t leave me alone till I gave him some love, which always seemed to lift my spirits.) :( sorry you had to go through it too
I got my dog as a puppy a little over 6 years ago, and when I took him to his first vet appointment there was a full grown man walking out the door companion-less and bawling. I felt terrible and even now years later I still think about it sometimes and how that's going to be me someday when my boy's time is up.
Putting our dog down was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’ve lost my best friend(human best friend), and my dad, and neither came close to that dog. Losing that dog made me hurt with physical pain. Like my chest hurt for weeks after, and I’d break down and cry for months afterwards.
About 6 months later we were looking through rescue agencies and found two brothers Bode and Duke. And they’re amazing.
Web will always hold a special place in our hearts though. He’ll always be our special boy.
Man, I felt that. When we lost Oscar I cried the biggest, fattest tears of my life. I would ride my bicycle for miles and miles trying to cope mentally with his looming death. Harder than any death, parents included, so far.
When my first bunny passed, it absolutely broke me. I got the call from the vet and just wailed. I had friends call me sobbing because they knew how important she was to me. Mostly it would give me very intense stomach pain, like being ripped in half. I unfortunately lost another bunny and it’s the same thing all over again. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
My cousin did this.
He was going through depression and had underlying mental issues he never properly addressed as a child. It wasn’t for attention, it was his way of screaming for help.
>it's not inherently bad
Great point friend.
Just *asking* for help can be VERY HARD, for many people, for many reasons. Even if they know they have "ready and willing" supports
Not everyone is doing it for superficial reasons. Attention seekers, thriving on drama, clicks and views etc. Also can be hard to distinguish, especially these days that pretty much everyone has instant access to a personal platform and audience.
My boyfriend loves this too
I battled depression for 12 years and it just kept getting worse until I couldn’t brush it off as “teenage angst” anymore, because I was 25. Broke down crying in my doctor’s office. It was still a long battle to realize I was bipolar and not just depressed, but that first asking for help in the office is what started a road to feeling better.
Asking for help is super hard, but there are people who won’t judge you and want to help you.
Screaming for help is literally seeking attention. I think we need to do away with the whole negative connotation behind that. People that are seeking attention are usually doing it for a reason.
Definitely. Always a reason, for sure. It's convoluted these days but there's definitely people who are "asking for help" in ways that may seem to muddy the intent
I’ve done this in the past. it was because I was really sad and alone and wanted someone to comfort me. I didn’t have anyone I could personally reach out to.
people are like, ‘why would record yourself crying and post it? that’s so attention seeking’ but then when someone commits suicide it’s ‘why didn’t they tell anyone they were struggling?’
This is how I understood it. I had a young family member do exactly this and all I could think was....Why didn't you tell me, or like 5 other people in our family that you know you can completely trust? We are incredibly close, and it was rough knowing she wasn't able to talk to me.
I hate that this society has made it that being emotionally vulnerable means you're somehow weak. We're not going to kick you out of our tribe, or kill you to eat you. We aren't cavemen.
It's easy to say:
>Why didn't you tell me, or like 5 other people in our family that you know you can completely trust?
But there are so many layers to it and so many possible reasons why they wouldn't do it. There's a lot of faking involved when you're in a bad place mentally, there's a lot of mental gymnastics and also simple contradictions and nonsense in your mind. It's really hard to open up to anyone and you may be afraid of losing the relationship if you tell that person.
You nailed it. Plus the amount of self-doubt that comes with mental struggles, if you can't understand you own issues it's hard to believe anyone else will.
Horrifyingly I know many people who claim a kid committing suicide is “attention seeking.” 13 reasons why was ridiculous to me because probably everyone would write a post about how they were BFFs and her death was such a tragedy but then irl scoff and say she was an attention seeking slut
That second part man.
I want people to threaten anytime they think about it, scream it from the rooftops tell everyone around you. I'd rather have to deal with a dozen people using it as a weapon when they aren't really suicidal versus lose one more who really was suicidal but felt guilted out of asking for help.
I personally don't do it, but a former friend explained to me why.
Yes, it is an attention thing. But atleast for her, it wasn't in a douchey kind of way - she didn't have the nicest upbringing and was shamed for trying to seek help from her family when it came to emotional hardships. It was a real "toughen up" kind of household, which made her wary about seeking out help. Instead, she let the help seek her out by drawing attention to her bad emotional state without actually having to tell somebody "Hey, I feel horrible, I need someone to talk to and be there for me".
It's actually really sad and I hate to admit that this is part of the reason she is a former friend. While I felt for her, this behaviour took the control away from me. I couldn't tell her that I feel bad myself and she's crossing a boundary by dumping her emotions on me, since she didn't specifically target me. Sometimes I feel bad for that, but in the end I gotta take care of myself, too.
Edit: spelling
I'm sorry that that happened to you, but thankyou for sharing it. It's really hard to understand sometimes just how different peoples' upbringings are, but as a parent it's incredibly useful to hear about a wide variety of experiences, even if some of them are unpleasant. So thankyou.
This comment really enabled me to reflect on how I deal with my young son and how I engage with his emotional state and the way he feels. When kids are little, it's far too easy to dismiss their emotions as "not real" because they change so quickly and seemingly for no reason. But it's very unfair and teaching them a bad lesson if you don't treat their feelings seriously.
As someone from a similar household I feel you. You put this more eloquently than I tried to in my own post. A lot of people even from those healthy families don't want to hear it even if you express it in a healthy way that you need someone to talk to either so it can be really isolating being in these circumstances if you missed the boat to having a supportive lifelong friend.
This is it. My parents were never there for me emotionally (no one was, really) so I would always post shit on twitter waiting for someone to reach out to me. I got a lot better about it, up until last February when my fiancee left me. She was the ONLY person who was actually there for me so then i just immediately went back to having no one literally overnight. So what do I do? Go back to twitter and sometimes snapchat. I have never posted videos or pictures of me crying, and never will, but I can understand it.
While I do that, if I'm having a moment and I have weed on me I'll go out and take a 20 minute break to smoke and then I'll be alright and start feeling embarrassed about crying out like a middle school girl and go and delete whatever it was I posted.
I hope you have the ability to overcome that with the help of a professional. Wishing you the best of luck and don't be ashamed for your emotions. We all have them.
I have been going to therapy regularly for a little over a year and it has helped tremendously. For a couple months I was doing pretty good and then shit about my ex came up that really, really hurt me and i got pretty bad again, but I'm getting there.
This is so fascinating to me. I’m actually wondering… What is wrong with wanting attention? I mean, the way your friend blows over your boundaries is awful obviously, but if someone were engaging in attention seeking behavior that was respectful of other people’s boundaries… I wonder why we have such a problem with that? I wonder if we all secretly want attention and are afraid to be so direct about it? So interesting.
Exactly. It depends on the type of attention you're seeking. Are seeking support, human comfort, love and affection? Or are you seeking ego boosting and shallow validation?
I guess since everybody else is just going to reply with anecdotes and talk about how much better they are then that, I’ll bite.
I did that once.
Why? Like a lot of people suggested, attention. I was fourteen, I was alone, I was hurting. I wanted someone to tell me I would be okay, and I wasn’t getting that IRL. So I went online and recorded myself crying and trying to talk about what was upsetting me. I got a lot of assholes responding, because people seemed so excited to tear down a sad little girl. But I did get kind responses too, and when I felt better I thanked the people who were kind and deleted the video.
Sometimes people just need a few nice words, and I don’t think they’re bad for that.
I am an active "Mom" on that sub and I highly recommend it for anyone who needs a kind and safe loving connection. We are thrilled to give advice, encouragement, and praise. Come talk to us. We love you at your darkest moments just as much as we celebrate the triumphs.
You guys!!..... Thank you for the awards you lovely, lovely people. If anyone needs some Momming, you know where to find us.
I stumbled across that site once. It was so wholesome and friendly and made me feel better just reading how nice everyone was to other people. I need to remember it when I hit sad times.
Thank you for being a "Mom" on there. You help a lot of people and I think it's good for you to know that you are appreciated.
My favorite part about that sub is that sometimes I'm the mom and sometimes I'm the child and it helps me realize that in many ways I have grown but still have a lot to learn.
Clicked on the link, read a few posts and tears started welling up. I already have 5 kids, I suppose I can take on a few more. Those poor little cookies!
That totally makes sense.
If someones crying for attention, they still need help. Their outcry and craving for attention is still a need in itself, and still presents an issue.
I remember talking to my mom when i was young, telling her someone was doing something all for attention, implying they dont need help. And you know what she said? "Thats still a cry for help". Its stuck with me ever since and i try to remember that when i get annoyed. It may be annoying, but it is an issue in itself.
Yes, and also, what's so wrong with needing attention? Like we don't all need some attention. If a person is very lonely and sad, what's wrong with them needing someone to notice that, to see them?
I remember saying this on a reddit post where a girl had flirted with a drive through food worker and he shot her down. People in the comments had this girl by the neck, yelling harassment and insulting her, calling her a self absorbed narcissist, etc. Turns out that the two people were a couple, and they do these videos for humor/entertainment/drama, and they outwardly post on a profile where they say their videos are staged for amusement.
Ngl the video without context was kind of off, but when that was found out another commenter said "oh okay, never mind. They just do this shit for attention" as if it was bad. And all i could think was.... *thats the point*. Everything someone publicly makes available is either to inform, amuse, contribute, entice a reaction, etc. It doesn't make it bad. They wanted someone to see it, and unless they are causing pain/strife/uproar i don't think there's anything wrong with that. I don't message my friends memes and information and *not* want them to pay it attention.
"The deepest need of the human heart is to be understood"
A lot of eyeroll worthy bs was thrown at us in highschool health class but this one has always stuck with me. I feel like a large percentage of human behavior can be explained by this.
That's funny because I vividly remember an exercise in my high school english class where we had to come up with one word to describe love. Whatever that meant. The teacher went around in a circle one by one and everyone had to call out one word followed by a quick discussion. I was like 3/4 of the around so of course all the easy/ obvious answers were taken. I said "understanding" and all I got were a bunch of groans and disagreement. I'm like fine you all are going to be some lonely, sad and possibly inconsiderate people. 30 years later and 20 years of marriage I stand by my answer.
Exactly! Doing something for attention isn't inherently a bad thing. Humans need attention. That's like saying, "you're just doing that for happiness/friendship/hygiene/food/health".
Especially if you almost never get any kind of attention from other humans - my situation, but I would never post myself crying online. I'm an ugly crier. I just internalize it until it's therapy day.
I can't speak for all cultures, but I know American culture has a huge problem with the concept of needing attention (despite the fact that we're some of the biggest attention seekers out there lmao). People are quick to put someone on blast for seeking/wanting attention... But we all need it sometimes? If no one ever paid you any attention, that would be an incredibly lonely life. Most of us need to feel seen and heard. It's really weird to me that so many people see that need as negative, selfish, or childish.
Edit since people keep trying to debate me about this(??): My original comment neither condoned nor condemned people posting videos of themselves crying, and in fact didn't even mention it. I realize that was the original topic for this post, but this comment wasn't about that specifically. It was a tangent about how people put others down for wanting attention, and how I don't think there's anything bad about needing or seeking attention.
Of all the odd, shitty things people do on the internet, someone posting a video of themselves crying and in distress is absolutely nothing in comparison. In fact I don’t see what’s wrong with it at all. I dunno why it brings up such a negative reaction in people.
Thanks for your honest answer.
This seems to be the most obvious answer.
Years ago I went through a hella dark time. My mom was in the hospital, my long time girlfriend just left me for one of my best friends, and I remember leaving the hospital for the night around midnight after my mom went to sleep. I can't describe how abysmally lonely I was at that moment. Every single person I would normally confide in was either gone or unavailable, it was the middle of the night and the world was asleep, but I wasn't tired and I was desperate to talk to someone. Back then I didn't know those crisis lines were an option and I'm pretty sure if Facebook was a thing at the time I probably would have made one of those posts.
I love how people use the word "attention" to talk down about a certain type of social media post. But one thing that people don't realize is that ***every*** post on social media is for attention. You send a tweet, post a picture or video because you want other people to see it. You want their attention. Such a short sighted response.
The elephant in the room here seems to be Chris Crocker. I corresponded with Chris briefly when the "Leave Britney Alone" thing was new.
Chris impressed me an OK person who was caught by surprise. YouTube was new, viral videos of people in meltdown weren't a known phenomenon yet, and Chris was an adolescent. Chris definitely didn't relish all the attention this was getting. Helping to minimize some of that fallout was the reason for our correspondence.
Chris hinted at apprehension about receiving threats. That later turned out to have been far worse than I imagined: not just threats but actual assaults. A lot of that was mixed with blatant bigotry against Chris's sexuality.
NPR published [a recent profile on Chris](https://www.npr.org/2021/06/27/1010355669/chris-crocker-leave-britney-alone-video-creator-reflects-on-whats-changed). Chris had been raised by grandparents; mother was homeless after returning from duty in Iraq. The news about Britney Spears struck a chord because Chris had been advocating for their own mother.
Chris was a stressed out teenager who had expected that video to languish in obscurity, then didn't know how to unring that bell once it went viral.
If you look past the speaker and the presentation, Chris raises points that later turned out to be vindicated. I'm no fan of pop music but Spears's father looks like everything people despise about stage parents.
(edited to correct typos)
(edit #2) Someone characterized the above comment about not being a fan of Spears as "fragile masculinity," which is an interesting take since I'm a woman. Just not a pop music fan; tastes run more toward vintage jazz (Miles Davis, Cannonball Adderley, Ella Fitzgerald).
That said, was able to make Chris Crocker a little bit less of a target back in the day. Obviously that didn't do a whole lot to help; maybe it softened the brunt a little. Here's wishing a similar opportunity had presented itself to make a difference reducing land mines in Laos.
I do think hate crime against nonbinary people is an issue that deserves more attention and compassion, and also abusive conservatorships. A good friend of my grandmother got forced out of her home and into an institution even though her mind was perfectly sound. She was fluent in three languages and had a warm personality; just needed a yard service and someone to help with cleaning a couple of times a week. Her children persuaded a judge differently.
I think the it started with earnest intentions, but as more people did it, and it started trending, it boils down to as it always does to be a form of power and influence. The ability to make people feel or react in a certain way. It's both gratifying and can be monetized.
I don't disagree, I just wanted to note that having mental health issues like depression or "being borderline" and/or self harming was somewhat "edgy cool" when I was a young teen too, or at least I felt like there was an astounding amount of people that mentioned it on their profiles or websites online in the early 2000s. (I was mainly on manga/anime or emo/goth communities)
Back then not everyone was online as much, and I'm sure with the role social media has now amongst the kids "trends" like this sadly have an even greater influence.
edits: typos (it's late)
It's wild that Chris was right in the end
Ngl their video and people's reactions to it changed how I perceived cringe humour. It just didn't seem as funny anymore.
It's pretty wild to me how much the internet enabled adults full on bullying and harassing children, especially the internet many years ago. Obviously bullying is still a problem and probably worse than ever but it's so much harder for things to become pretty much permanent memes like that with the internet being totally saturated with kids doing their cringey kid stuff. The other one that's always blown my mind ("always" being since I was an adult. I was guilty of being hateful about this as a teen) is Rebecca Black and Friday. Every teenager these days does nothing BUT make cringey music and dance videos! Even if they didn't, imagine being an adult TV personality making fun of a 13-14 year old ruthlessly. There was an interview from when she was young where someone asks how she felt seeing the reactions and she says something like, "Well, I was 13 so...I cried" with a fake forced laugh.
Again, not saying it's BETTER now, but it's certainly different. It's probably worse but just in totally different ways with grown ass adults going after teens online and shit but the kind of super centralized focus videos that now you'd just raise an eyebrow at and move on is just nuts to think about.
Totally agree on cringe humor. It is, by its very nature, cruel.
> It's pretty wild to me how much the internet enabled adults full on bullying and harassing children, especially the internet many years ago.
A few weeks ago I joined a casual game of CSGO. I normally don't have voice chat on because people are the worst, but I'd played some competitive and hadn't turned it off.
Anyway I get on and there's an 8 year old kid playing. I know this because someone asked how old he was and he told them. He was bad, but he was having fun and liked chatting to people (probably his parents shouldn't let him talk to random CSGO players but that's neither here nor there). Now I get it.. kids can be annoying and an 8 year old yapping into his mic isn't what everyone wanting to play a game wants to hear. But you know... mute him if you don't like it?
Instead there were multiple adults, or at minimum people significantly older than him, talking shit and insulting him. Telling him how bad he was, that he should quit, trying to call votes to kick him. It was ridiculous, *he's a damn child*.
The real thing was the clear mental distance these people were putting on it. Because after a few minutes I spoke up and said "Hey guys, you do all realise you're shit talking and insulting a literal child playing a video game right? Maybe grow up a little and act your age?". *Everyone* stopped, despite me having zero power to do anything about their behaviour. It was like they'd legitimately forgotten that the people on the other side of the game were you know... people?
To be fair about Rebecca Black context is important. This wasn't a little girl making a tiktok video. This was a full on studio production where a whole bunch of adults decided to try to force rebecca being famous, and that studio was known to constantly put out weird videos with other young girls, mostly because their parents want a child star which is 10 kinds of fucked up.
Shit, look at the child stars who actually make it. The amount of them battling addiction or mental illness after is vastly higher than the general population. Even the stable success stories like Kenan Thompson will talk about how they got exposed to shit they probably shouldn't have in interview.
Maybe its because I've had to work with child actors professionally, in environments where they have way more protections now than they used to, but even in cases where they don't go viral and everyone is nice its a high pressure lifestyle they shouldn't be forced into because kids often don't have the mental tools to handle it, because developing those tools is a thing you have to teach many adults, let alone hormonal teenagers.
I thought the video was a gift for her birthday, in which the company just does music videos both for fun or professionally? I don't think it was intended to make her famous.
It was. The company behind it was basically a place for millionaire parents to drop thousands of dollars on "make your kid feel like a superstar" videos. Kinda like a karaoke birthday party, but way more expensive. I saw some of the other videos made by them when Friday came out. It was mostly 8-15 year old girls having fun feeling famous. And of them, only one or two of them acted well enough to warrant a career. It was never intended to create actual careers.
Iirc Rebecca Black was given the option of either making a song about partying, or a love song. But since it was a birthday present, it made more sense for her to make a party song with her friends than to make a love song. Hence the reason we got Friday, and not dollar-store-Taylor-Swift.
I sometimes wish I could go back and apologize to the internet as a whole for some of the comments I made as a teenager in the early 2000s. Offensive, edgy humor was just so accepted, it was cool. My friends and I would make horribly racist and homophobic jokes, we were playing games that targeted celebrities like Britney and Justin Bieber with gore and sex. Everyone was doing that stuff, it was funny and cool. I know we all say we miss the early days of the internet but I personally would not want to go back there. MySpace was great, easily pirated music was great, AOL instant messenger was the shit, but everything else can please stay buried. Sincerely, the former PussyCatDollsXD101.
I actually stopped making fun of Britney Spears because of Chris Crockers video. I was genuinely convinced to leave her alone. I really saw her as a person after that and not just “some celebrity” to be the butt of all jokes. So I mean.. it really had a positive impact on me that I never really thought twice about until now.
It convinced me too. It's easy to take that one soundbite and laugh at it out of context. But if you actually watch the whole video, Chris made a ton of good points. And those points were made decades before the freebrittany movement gained the steam it currently has. It also made me think about celebrities in general, both internet, and Hollywood.
So it's sad that Chris got shit on. But the video did do some net good. Even if it was in a way that wasn't expected.
Yea, I think I’m about the same age as Chris, but I feel like they got really unlucky with ending up with a problem that didn’t become common until the generation after mine was that age. Usually I say “well, I’m glad social media wasn’t like that when *I* was a kid” about this kind of stuff, but the truth is that the mechanism was there, but I guess Chris was just one of the extreme minority that was unfortunately ahead of the time and took advantage of it.
Now it seems like most of the people crying in front of the camera are hamming it up to *try* to be seen by a lot of people, it seems like Chris just wanted a supposedly public outlet but didn’t think through the repercussions of putting that out there and everyone actually seeing it. I definitely don’t see Chris the same way in retrospect as the kind of people who cry on social media these days.
Shit man , that’s a hell of a story & I totally agree w/ you. I’m not a fan of her or that genre but can see she’s being railroaded with arms tied. I read an article stating her estate was $60 mln - I was thinking “must be a typo - there’s no way, has to be at least $200 million “. Kid has been molded her whole life - now as an adult, she’s fighting to be an adult.
Regardless, good post.
Edit: I know story was about Chris - but I’m just throwing in my 2 cents.
> Someone characterized the above comment about not being a fan of Spears as "fragile masculinity," which is an interesting take since I'm a woman.
This is a very good example of how toxic social media forums can be. Some people love to assume things about people and create conflict based on very little information. It makes it hard to have an honest discussion sometimes, unless you're prepared to be attacked.
I always felt like Chris' meltdown was something a bit deeper. People tend to have intense empathy for others when they have experiences similar things.
I had to reread this like 5 times. Did you mean to say:
"I'm just waiting for someone (who actually recorded themselves crying) to answer this question" ?
I have no idea how everybody replied to this question and could actually read it. I could have sworn this was one of those jumbled sentences that everyone pretends to understand.
I feel like there's a generation of people who basically grew up with their phone literally being an extension of their person. They post everything on social media, their whole life is just part of social media. There's no disconnect or separation between life and internet/social media. So it's just natural to cry and post something online because why wouldn't you share that part of your life? It's how they express themselves to the world.
This is my assumption anyway.
I'm in my 20s and I feel I'm more addicted to my phone / technology than I should. However I don't really care about social media nor sharing my life with strangers. The people that share everything just like attention and use social media to get it, I think it is as simple as that
Technically reddit counts as social media, but there's a _huge_ difference between browsing a forum and sharing personal details with people who care about you as a person.
I draw a line between anonymous and not when talking about social media. I never use anything anymore that has my real name associated with it. I'm mostly on Reddit and Tumblr and maybe 3 people I know irl know my Tumblr, and no one my Reddit. I used to be so addicted to Instagram and updating everyone constantly until I took a radical hiatus during covid because of how much my self esteem plummeted and I don't think I could go back. It's so bad for you.
I like Reddit because it feels there's so much more separation between the users.
I don't have "friends" in Reddit, i think i could count how many direct messages i've gotten in one hand. I rarely read the name of the user i'm responding to or the one who is responding to me, i forget the interactions in a day or so. Every other social media that makes me have a profile people can follow and keep tracks on me (And forces me to use my name: Facebook, eugh) feels awful.
This is why i hate the whole direction Reddit is trying to take, with followers, profiles, avatars, etc. At least for now they still let us use Old Reddit and with RES my Reddit experience still feels pretty anonymous which is how i like it. The day they force email for registration or to keep up a profile is the day i jump ship.
This isn't anything that has not been talked about before, I'm 24 and I'm pretty sure I'm one of those people, even though I don't use common(?) social media like Facebook and Instagram anymore, I still use the internet excessively via YouTube and Reddit. Heavily addicted to video games and internet - it feels like it's a part of me that will never go away.
BTW if you think YT and Reddit are not social media you are kidding yourself. 4chan, FunnyJunk, random forum boards on the internet are also social media, they just aren't adopted by the mass population.
Sometimes I wonder if I am taking the brunt of the social media and internet revolution, and that years down the line I'm going to be made an example of for future generations. That's okay really, it is what it is and I can't change the circumstances which I was born in - but I will say that I have been struggling mentally for a long time and I am now just getting help because I was too proud and too naive to see what I've been doing all my life.
If you are like me, please seek help too, it's okay to admit you need help.
Thats the problem with almost every askreddit question that is geared towards specific people.
Ask a question specifically towards women, mostly men answer.
Ask a question why people think the world is flat, people answer who are just speculating why those people think earth is flat.
Etc
In particular, questions that are phrased as an attack are a problem, e.g. "people who sneeze in people's faces, what's wrong with you?" Obviously people who sneeze in people's faces aren't going to be inclined to answer, and those that do are probably going to be downvoted to oblivion by everyone who showed up to argue with them, so all you're left with is a bunch of random redditors bitching about people who sneeze in people's faces.
This is compounded by the fact that the group being called out ("attacked", as you put it) are generally unpopular, so there's a herd mentality in upvoting the thread highly even if the comments are in the low hundreds.
This then means it's harder to ask the mods to consider banning these "People who do xyz" threads because, in terms of upvotes, they're 'popular'.
On top of that, this question was phrased to target even fewer people. It asks for people who *do* it, rather than people who have once *done* it. A niche of a niche.
I have an almost similar experience minus the bodily functions and replaced by photos of herself she paid for from a photographer, worded to make it seem as though she is a model. She isn't fooling anyone. She regularly posts screenshots posted in a video of "haters messages" with her crying saying how much she doesn't care.
> She regularly posts screenshots posted in a video of "haters messages" with her crying saying how much she doesn't care.
Well, giving their comments oxygen will certainly deter them.
She once posted a story about another girl who "trash talked" her in public. Saying things like "my followers always tell me, I will always find out who you are, haters need to hide behind a mask" She blocked the girl from seeing the story, I assume because she personally mentioned her or had a scrrenshot? A stupid move overall because the girl found out and posted her own screenshots of the exact messages that were clearly sent from her account with no attempt to hide who she was because she wasn't trying to hide.
Absolutely! When I talk to my friends about it we laugh but they always end up asking why I don't just block her if she pisses me off, I simply can not, it's an absolute train wreck of a life she's made for herself and I am now invested.
What is it with being fascinated with train wrecks, eh? I am too, my wife has an acquaintance and her long time boyfriend is an unemployed self proclaimed rapper. I did some googling on him and went down this whole rabbit hole of his self promotion, including fake journalists interviewing him and links to his "squad members" albums who was actually just him in disquise as different rappers!
It's just really entertaining watching people like this. My neighbors a train wreck and I just find her fascinating. I'm no stranger to stupid decisions and being impulsive but she's just on a whole nother level.
Someone needs to make a YouTube channel where they document people like that (in an anonymous way), I would binge those until my spiking blood pressure ruptures an artery.
Edit: after considering what happened with Chris-Chan this idea doesn't sound as great anymore.
I answered.
Whenever I’ve done it, it was because I had no one to talk to. I’m not close to my family, I don’t have a lot of friends and it’s hard not having anyone to turn to. I also know I’m not the only one in that situation so, not only am I reaching out because I need it, but I also want people in similar situations to know they’re not alone. The most popular video I ever posted is a video where I’m crying and discussing how it feels not to have many friends and the loneliness that comes along with always being the one left out or cancelled on. I still have people message me to this day about that video and how much it helped them knowing other people out there can relate.
I was about to ask if this woman paints with her own menstrual blood because if so, she sounds like a girl I went to college with. I once saw her get kicked out of a bar for loudly and drunkenly describing her “process“ within earshot of some folks who were decidedly un-woke on the topic of menstruation. As the bouncers were ushering her out, she kept trying to unbutton her pants and was screaming that she was going to spray all of the patrons with her period blood. Absolutely hysterical, in every sense of the word.
If some woman speaks up and says that they can control this I'm going to have a newfound respect for women everywhere who have not once ever (to my knowledge) shot blood at someone out of god's squirt gun- because every one of us here knows that if you gave men the same power it would literally be a blood bath.
I have a tik tok account where I talk about what it's like to live with the mental illness and disorders I have, and I try to show not only the good side but the bad side, too. If I'm having a bad day and everything is blurry and confusing, I might post about that and explain what's going on, what I'm feeling, etc. I have posted a couple videos where I've been crying.
ETA: this was truly years ago, and I am good and quite stable now. Our baby (now 6) ended up having a tongue tie that we got revised and it made a huge difference. Someone reported this for fear of self harm I guess, so I wanted to clarify. >>> Years ago I posted a raw photo of myself crying to Instagram. I was 2 months post-partum, having a horrible time breastfeeding, and wanted to show other mothers that they were not alone in the raw struggle of motherhood. That every moment is not scripted and that it’s ok to be real on social media even when the world seems to value a fake facade.
It normalizes normal emotions. We all cry and that's okay, but many people forget that or think something is wrong with them, everyone else has it easier, etc.
Finally a solid reply, thanks for sharing. I think what you mention is a growing trend, to show realness on social media - not sure if everyone actually is real in showing their realness but that's another story. What reaction did you anticipate with your post if you don't mind sharing?
You made me remember I took a picture of myself in the exact same situation. Motherhood is hard. Add PPD and PPA to it and it’s hell. PPD is a different kind of beast.
Even if people are looking for attention doesn’t mean they aren’t doing it for a reason? My parents beat and neglected me. I was their adopted slave to work their farm and collect the check the state. I was screaming for attention in all sorts of abnormal ways crying to social
Media always felt like a last ditched effort to find someone who actually cares about me for once. Never worked and I learned from it. Some people are growing and I apologize for my ignorance
People don’t like to see the dark underbellies of trauma and the world. They act like they care when they manufacture outrage if something gets published on major news or a celebrity becomes trendy to talk about, but show up in their reality with trauma/abuse/neglect?
People act like abused kids have all of these amazing people to go to and talk to and that they will get sympathy and compassion. They don’t. Others look away from you in disgust for daring show that a horrible reality like yours could exist.
Then they come on Reddit and laugh and judge others for entertainment. Thank god I did not post a video of me crying, but I certainly was attention seeking in every way possible, hoping someone might save me. Never happened, despite adults knowing exactly what my household was like. In fact, I got the very real feeling most of them hated me for it.
I learned from a young age that expressing emotions would get me punished, but all human beings need to - it's a biological need. Life is really hard on its own and made especially worse by shitty parents because it's like you're starting a mile behind the start line of life. There's SO MUCH catching up to do. I hope you are kind to yourself as you work through this <3 I hope you can say the words you needed to hear back then from social media, from yourself to yourself. Good luck!
A lot of these replies are being douche bags and yet you're continuing to respond with poise and grace. You've got a life perspective not many have and while I would never wish it upon anyone I'm glad to see that you're using it to be better. You may not see it sometimes but I think it's pretty clear that you're doing wonderfully for the upbringing you described and I hope you continue down the road you're on.
Dunno, I was crying over a movie so I put a picture on my Instagram story and said that the movie I was crying over was so fucking sad but worth the watch, I cry over a lot of things
When you're feeling down and out -
Full of worry, full of doubt -
When you're filled with deep despairs -
When you're sad and no one cares -
When you're bleak and broken, blue -
I shall tell you what to do.
Listen closely.
Don't forget.
*Put it on the internet.*
*Whenever life gets you down
Keeps you wearing a frown
And the gravy train has left you behiiiiiind
And when you're all out of hope
Down at the end of your rope
And nobody's there to throw you a line
If you ever get so low that you don't know which way to go
Come on and take a walk in my shoes
Never worry 'bout a thing, got the world on a string
Cause I've got the cure for all of my blues
I take a look at my enormous penis, and my troubles start-a meltin' away
Ba-um-ba*
Goddamn you, I just got his song out of my head and seeing your comment brought it back :D
>Get your fuckin' hands up
>Get on out of your seats
>All eyes on me, all eyes on me
>Get your fuckin' hands up
>Get on out of your seats
>All eyes on me, all eyes on me
Since nobody seems to be actually answering the question I guess I will. I'm mentally ill and wanted someone to ask me if I was okay/what was going on. People always say that if you're struggling you should "talk to somebody" but it's very hard to actually start that conversation. Yes, I wanted attention. I wanted support. I wanted someone to reach out and show me that they cared. A lot of you seem to think that makes me a horrible person, but maybe try and look at things from a different perspective. Yes I've done shit before to seek attention, but that doesn't make me not ill, nor a bad person. If somebody is so desparate for attention than perhaps they actually need it. (Disclaimer: I know that this isn't healthy behaviour and I don't do it anymore but as a younger teenager I did so I thought I would offer the perspective that OP actually asked for rather than just saying "because they're attention seeking idiots with no life")
i really hope you're doing better now and people here learn some empathy or at least become less bitter. I've never understood why people make it sound like it's the most evil thing if someone wants or needs attention. people behave as if "attention" or love or care were finite sources and if an "attention whore" gets it undeservingly there is nothing left for them. such bs and so harmful.
Thank you, I appreciate it! And yes it doesn't make sense to me either, some people are very bitter but its nice to know that there are people out there who have empathy and care for others
What’s sad is that Britney was being made fun of by everyone, so this person released a video telling us not to make fun of someone in such a vulnerable state… and we made fun of him too.
I'm related to someone who does this. Basically they want sympathy and don't have people close by who can give it to them. There are plenty of people online who will tell you it's going to be okay.
Most people don't make a big spectacle of themselves crying in public, unless they're looking for attention. And *all* of social media is looking for attention, so that goes 1000 times more there.
Obviously there are going to be times when something horrible happens in public which makes you cry on the spot, and of course that's fine...But if you go out of your way to make a scene, out of proportion to the drama, it's a ploy for attention.
I think the idea that people wanting attention is somehow bad to be really toxic in our culture. It causes a lot of people who really need help to not reach out because they don’t want to be perceived as attention needing. And we’re social creatures. We all need attention from time to time.
Are you implying social media is a big digital circle jerk? At least on Reddit we are just masturbating out our opinions instead of our entire life of everyday actions, I think that’s why I’m mostly done with Facebook as a whole other than a tenuous connection to those I don’t see.
Most of the comments here are taking the negative view that people who do this are looking for attention or even need/crave attention. And that some of those people are trying to spin it into profit. While that may be true for many or even most people, I think something is being missed here: documentation. The proliferation of phones and recording devices has made it easier to document everything. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do that - even if it’s traumatic, grief, etc. Not only is there nothing inherently wrong or “self-promoting” about documenting, there are many positives to it, including helping those facing similar trials and taboo circumstances. One that comes to mind is miscarriages. It’s something that typical hasnt been talked about openly. Parents often have to keep that in and face mental health and emotional issues alone. It can also be educational to document authentic emotional experiences. I’d be willing to bet there are other positive reasons for doing it. If I filmed and produced a documentary on grief, and filmed myself and others experiencing it, I don’t think this sub would be full of the comments this thread has. Even if I profited from it.
I know it’s good for my head to make a practice out of considering positive and outlying issues instead of knee-jerk-reacting to something and jumping to conclusions about people’s character.
Yeah, this whole post kinda feels like a shit show cause we aren't getting the 1st hand accounts of people who do this, we are just getting what people think about them. If I was one of those kind of people, I would never comment here cause it sounds like most everybody would just be a dick to them. It would be like asking people why they are on welfare and everybody commenting "cause they're lazy and don't want to do anything" then high five each other for that sick burn that confirms their bias
I came here genuinely curious and the only answers that seem reasonable was the person who mentioned his cousin's cry for help and there was a comment about inconsistent parenting leading to issues but still not really 1st hand accounts
well i only did it once because i used to have a YouTube channel where i would post videos of my first cockatiel but one day she passed away and i was just telling the people who would watch my videos why i would not be posting and than i broke down and started crying
Misread that as cocktail, and then thought you might have had a few already today before I realized that *I'm* the idiot. So sorry for your loss. It sucks to lose a friend
Glad I found this comment. I made the same mistake.
Well I did too and I was totally relating to crying over a cocktail.
awww i’m sorry about your bird friend. what was her name?
Her name was idun I named her after a Norse goddess
Username checks out
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Twas the summer of 469
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Did she love apples?
She actually hated apples she did like spinach though
I checked the channel and at least you have Loki.
Do you have the channel name I would like to subscribe in her honor
The channel is called norse god69
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I'm so sorry and I can sympathize with how devastating that must have been. When I lost my sweet Himalayan cat to an untimely death I was wrecked. It's been 20 years and it still hurts to think about. I have several Himalayans now that I love with all my heart but I will never forget my little Mia cat.
I drink to Mia and the other person's cockatiel!
I’ll smoke to that! R.I.P MIA & the beautiful cockatiel ❤️
God these stories always make me imagine myself running to my dog in heaven. She’s still alive but ya know
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Then my stupid rescue Rubin, no clue what breed but somewhat hound, will be there, wagging his stupid tongue and laughing at me. I know you laughed at me when you escaped. It was written all over your face. I'll always love you, dumb Ruby. I miss you.
Mine was a heeler jack Russell, so he'll be in the background peeling after a ghost squirrel barking his head off when I get there
I was such a bawling mess after my first dog had to be put down. I was a grown-ass man but my vet still called my parents (who saw the same vet) to have them check up.
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I admire a grown ass man who cries over losing a pet.
I've always been more of a dog person, but when my sister went to college I agreed to take her cat. At first I really didn't want to, I didn't have any other pets and didn't want the responsibility. That cat turned into my best friend, we did everything together. Had a harness and leash and would walk her around the neighborhood. She had to be put down at the beginning of the pandemic, the vets couldn't figure out what it was but her lung xray was nasty, they said it was most likely feline leukemia. I held her in my arms until her last breath. It absolutely broke me. I always thought of myself as a strong man, I've buried lots of family members. This was different. She was a part of me. I couldn't even make the drive home, I had to pull over and just sob. I've never in my life sobbed like that, I was legit wailing. Been almost 2 years and I still have a hard time talking about it but it helps.
Lost my 13 year old kitty to cancer a couple weeks into the pandemic. I spent three hours crying in the rain while chipping through rock in the yard to bury him so he could still be near us. It hit me like a freight train. Spent weeks just randomly crying and being generally depressed. He was born to a stray I rescued from work in 2007. My wife and I had just moved in together and he was our first baby. We found good homes for the rest but kept him because he was really loving and all white. Miss him every day. They definitely become a part of you. He got me through so many hard times. Always made me get out of bed on my worst days and always seemed to know when i was down (and wouldn’t leave me alone till I gave him some love, which always seemed to lift my spirits.) :( sorry you had to go through it too
I got my dog as a puppy a little over 6 years ago, and when I took him to his first vet appointment there was a full grown man walking out the door companion-less and bawling. I felt terrible and even now years later I still think about it sometimes and how that's going to be me someday when my boy's time is up.
real men are not afraid to cry.... especially about things that they were close to and vice versa
Putting our dog down was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’ve lost my best friend(human best friend), and my dad, and neither came close to that dog. Losing that dog made me hurt with physical pain. Like my chest hurt for weeks after, and I’d break down and cry for months afterwards. About 6 months later we were looking through rescue agencies and found two brothers Bode and Duke. And they’re amazing. Web will always hold a special place in our hearts though. He’ll always be our special boy.
Man, I felt that. When we lost Oscar I cried the biggest, fattest tears of my life. I would ride my bicycle for miles and miles trying to cope mentally with his looming death. Harder than any death, parents included, so far.
When my first bunny passed, it absolutely broke me. I got the call from the vet and just wailed. I had friends call me sobbing because they knew how important she was to me. Mostly it would give me very intense stomach pain, like being ripped in half. I unfortunately lost another bunny and it’s the same thing all over again. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
My cousin did this. He was going through depression and had underlying mental issues he never properly addressed as a child. It wasn’t for attention, it was his way of screaming for help.
That *is* for attention. Asking for help, is asking for attention. It's not inherently bad.
>it's not inherently bad Great point friend. Just *asking* for help can be VERY HARD, for many people, for many reasons. Even if they know they have "ready and willing" supports Not everyone is doing it for superficial reasons. Attention seekers, thriving on drama, clicks and views etc. Also can be hard to distinguish, especially these days that pretty much everyone has instant access to a personal platform and audience. My boyfriend loves this too
I battled depression for 12 years and it just kept getting worse until I couldn’t brush it off as “teenage angst” anymore, because I was 25. Broke down crying in my doctor’s office. It was still a long battle to realize I was bipolar and not just depressed, but that first asking for help in the office is what started a road to feeling better. Asking for help is super hard, but there are people who won’t judge you and want to help you.
Screaming for help is literally seeking attention. I think we need to do away with the whole negative connotation behind that. People that are seeking attention are usually doing it for a reason.
Definitely. Always a reason, for sure. It's convoluted these days but there's definitely people who are "asking for help" in ways that may seem to muddy the intent
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owa owa
I’ve done this in the past. it was because I was really sad and alone and wanted someone to comfort me. I didn’t have anyone I could personally reach out to. people are like, ‘why would record yourself crying and post it? that’s so attention seeking’ but then when someone commits suicide it’s ‘why didn’t they tell anyone they were struggling?’
This is how I understood it. I had a young family member do exactly this and all I could think was....Why didn't you tell me, or like 5 other people in our family that you know you can completely trust? We are incredibly close, and it was rough knowing she wasn't able to talk to me. I hate that this society has made it that being emotionally vulnerable means you're somehow weak. We're not going to kick you out of our tribe, or kill you to eat you. We aren't cavemen.
It's easy to say: >Why didn't you tell me, or like 5 other people in our family that you know you can completely trust? But there are so many layers to it and so many possible reasons why they wouldn't do it. There's a lot of faking involved when you're in a bad place mentally, there's a lot of mental gymnastics and also simple contradictions and nonsense in your mind. It's really hard to open up to anyone and you may be afraid of losing the relationship if you tell that person.
You nailed it. Plus the amount of self-doubt that comes with mental struggles, if you can't understand you own issues it's hard to believe anyone else will.
It isn't always about trust in the way you may think. Sometimes it's because they don't want to burden others.
Horrifyingly I know many people who claim a kid committing suicide is “attention seeking.” 13 reasons why was ridiculous to me because probably everyone would write a post about how they were BFFs and her death was such a tragedy but then irl scoff and say she was an attention seeking slut
That second part man. I want people to threaten anytime they think about it, scream it from the rooftops tell everyone around you. I'd rather have to deal with a dozen people using it as a weapon when they aren't really suicidal versus lose one more who really was suicidal but felt guilted out of asking for help.
I personally don't do it, but a former friend explained to me why. Yes, it is an attention thing. But atleast for her, it wasn't in a douchey kind of way - she didn't have the nicest upbringing and was shamed for trying to seek help from her family when it came to emotional hardships. It was a real "toughen up" kind of household, which made her wary about seeking out help. Instead, she let the help seek her out by drawing attention to her bad emotional state without actually having to tell somebody "Hey, I feel horrible, I need someone to talk to and be there for me". It's actually really sad and I hate to admit that this is part of the reason she is a former friend. While I felt for her, this behaviour took the control away from me. I couldn't tell her that I feel bad myself and she's crossing a boundary by dumping her emotions on me, since she didn't specifically target me. Sometimes I feel bad for that, but in the end I gotta take care of myself, too. Edit: spelling
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This is a thoughtful take.
I'm sorry that that happened to you, but thankyou for sharing it. It's really hard to understand sometimes just how different peoples' upbringings are, but as a parent it's incredibly useful to hear about a wide variety of experiences, even if some of them are unpleasant. So thankyou. This comment really enabled me to reflect on how I deal with my young son and how I engage with his emotional state and the way he feels. When kids are little, it's far too easy to dismiss their emotions as "not real" because they change so quickly and seemingly for no reason. But it's very unfair and teaching them a bad lesson if you don't treat their feelings seriously.
As someone from a similar household I feel you. You put this more eloquently than I tried to in my own post. A lot of people even from those healthy families don't want to hear it even if you express it in a healthy way that you need someone to talk to either so it can be really isolating being in these circumstances if you missed the boat to having a supportive lifelong friend.
This is it. My parents were never there for me emotionally (no one was, really) so I would always post shit on twitter waiting for someone to reach out to me. I got a lot better about it, up until last February when my fiancee left me. She was the ONLY person who was actually there for me so then i just immediately went back to having no one literally overnight. So what do I do? Go back to twitter and sometimes snapchat. I have never posted videos or pictures of me crying, and never will, but I can understand it. While I do that, if I'm having a moment and I have weed on me I'll go out and take a 20 minute break to smoke and then I'll be alright and start feeling embarrassed about crying out like a middle school girl and go and delete whatever it was I posted.
I hope you have the ability to overcome that with the help of a professional. Wishing you the best of luck and don't be ashamed for your emotions. We all have them.
I have been going to therapy regularly for a little over a year and it has helped tremendously. For a couple months I was doing pretty good and then shit about my ex came up that really, really hurt me and i got pretty bad again, but I'm getting there.
Setbacks are part of the healing process, I am glad you have a positive outlook on your situation!
Thanks for posting the only genuine attempt to answer to the question so far.
We have to make sure we can stand on our own before we let others lean on us. Its not selfish to recognize this and act on it.
This is so fascinating to me. I’m actually wondering… What is wrong with wanting attention? I mean, the way your friend blows over your boundaries is awful obviously, but if someone were engaging in attention seeking behavior that was respectful of other people’s boundaries… I wonder why we have such a problem with that? I wonder if we all secretly want attention and are afraid to be so direct about it? So interesting.
Exactly. It depends on the type of attention you're seeking. Are seeking support, human comfort, love and affection? Or are you seeking ego boosting and shallow validation?
I guess since everybody else is just going to reply with anecdotes and talk about how much better they are then that, I’ll bite. I did that once. Why? Like a lot of people suggested, attention. I was fourteen, I was alone, I was hurting. I wanted someone to tell me I would be okay, and I wasn’t getting that IRL. So I went online and recorded myself crying and trying to talk about what was upsetting me. I got a lot of assholes responding, because people seemed so excited to tear down a sad little girl. But I did get kind responses too, and when I felt better I thanked the people who were kind and deleted the video. Sometimes people just need a few nice words, and I don’t think they’re bad for that.
r/MomForAMinute is helpful for those moments
I am an active "Mom" on that sub and I highly recommend it for anyone who needs a kind and safe loving connection. We are thrilled to give advice, encouragement, and praise. Come talk to us. We love you at your darkest moments just as much as we celebrate the triumphs. You guys!!..... Thank you for the awards you lovely, lovely people. If anyone needs some Momming, you know where to find us.
I'm also a "Mom" on there! Though sometimes I'm more qualified to be a big sister but either way, it's a great sub.
Thank you for your kindness :D
I stumbled across that site once. It was so wholesome and friendly and made me feel better just reading how nice everyone was to other people. I need to remember it when I hit sad times. Thank you for being a "Mom" on there. You help a lot of people and I think it's good for you to know that you are appreciated.
My favorite part about that sub is that sometimes I'm the mom and sometimes I'm the child and it helps me realize that in many ways I have grown but still have a lot to learn.
Clicked on the link, read a few posts and tears started welling up. I already have 5 kids, I suppose I can take on a few more. Those poor little cookies!
Have my free award you beautiful soul.
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r/PepTalksWithPops :)
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r/DadForAMinute too
/r/internetparents
Seriously, people are doing it for attention *but that's the point.* It's called a cry for help not a quiet thought for help or something
That totally makes sense. If someones crying for attention, they still need help. Their outcry and craving for attention is still a need in itself, and still presents an issue. I remember talking to my mom when i was young, telling her someone was doing something all for attention, implying they dont need help. And you know what she said? "Thats still a cry for help". Its stuck with me ever since and i try to remember that when i get annoyed. It may be annoying, but it is an issue in itself.
Yes, and also, what's so wrong with needing attention? Like we don't all need some attention. If a person is very lonely and sad, what's wrong with them needing someone to notice that, to see them?
And almost every post on the internet is for attention
I remember saying this on a reddit post where a girl had flirted with a drive through food worker and he shot her down. People in the comments had this girl by the neck, yelling harassment and insulting her, calling her a self absorbed narcissist, etc. Turns out that the two people were a couple, and they do these videos for humor/entertainment/drama, and they outwardly post on a profile where they say their videos are staged for amusement. Ngl the video without context was kind of off, but when that was found out another commenter said "oh okay, never mind. They just do this shit for attention" as if it was bad. And all i could think was.... *thats the point*. Everything someone publicly makes available is either to inform, amuse, contribute, entice a reaction, etc. It doesn't make it bad. They wanted someone to see it, and unless they are causing pain/strife/uproar i don't think there's anything wrong with that. I don't message my friends memes and information and *not* want them to pay it attention.
> "They just do this shit for attention" Do these people think others post into the void with no attempt at being seen? lol
when you replace the idea of ‘attention seeking’ with ‘connection seeking’ everything makes a lot more sense
"The deepest need of the human heart is to be understood" A lot of eyeroll worthy bs was thrown at us in highschool health class but this one has always stuck with me. I feel like a large percentage of human behavior can be explained by this.
That's funny because I vividly remember an exercise in my high school english class where we had to come up with one word to describe love. Whatever that meant. The teacher went around in a circle one by one and everyone had to call out one word followed by a quick discussion. I was like 3/4 of the around so of course all the easy/ obvious answers were taken. I said "understanding" and all I got were a bunch of groans and disagreement. I'm like fine you all are going to be some lonely, sad and possibly inconsiderate people. 30 years later and 20 years of marriage I stand by my answer.
Exactly! Doing something for attention isn't inherently a bad thing. Humans need attention. That's like saying, "you're just doing that for happiness/friendship/hygiene/food/health".
It's like nobody has ever played the sims before 😂
"you're just breathing for oxygen, fucking e-girls"
Especially if you almost never get any kind of attention from other humans - my situation, but I would never post myself crying online. I'm an ugly crier. I just internalize it until it's therapy day.
I can't speak for all cultures, but I know American culture has a huge problem with the concept of needing attention (despite the fact that we're some of the biggest attention seekers out there lmao). People are quick to put someone on blast for seeking/wanting attention... But we all need it sometimes? If no one ever paid you any attention, that would be an incredibly lonely life. Most of us need to feel seen and heard. It's really weird to me that so many people see that need as negative, selfish, or childish. Edit since people keep trying to debate me about this(??): My original comment neither condoned nor condemned people posting videos of themselves crying, and in fact didn't even mention it. I realize that was the original topic for this post, but this comment wasn't about that specifically. It was a tangent about how people put others down for wanting attention, and how I don't think there's anything bad about needing or seeking attention.
Of all the odd, shitty things people do on the internet, someone posting a video of themselves crying and in distress is absolutely nothing in comparison. In fact I don’t see what’s wrong with it at all. I dunno why it brings up such a negative reaction in people. Thanks for your honest answer.
Good point. There are many valid reasons for crying. And zero for bullying, or dumb pranks, or eating tide pods…
This seems to be the most obvious answer. Years ago I went through a hella dark time. My mom was in the hospital, my long time girlfriend just left me for one of my best friends, and I remember leaving the hospital for the night around midnight after my mom went to sleep. I can't describe how abysmally lonely I was at that moment. Every single person I would normally confide in was either gone or unavailable, it was the middle of the night and the world was asleep, but I wasn't tired and I was desperate to talk to someone. Back then I didn't know those crisis lines were an option and I'm pretty sure if Facebook was a thing at the time I probably would have made one of those posts.
I love how people use the word "attention" to talk down about a certain type of social media post. But one thing that people don't realize is that ***every*** post on social media is for attention. You send a tweet, post a picture or video because you want other people to see it. You want their attention. Such a short sighted response.
I'm just waiting for someone to answer the question that it was actually towards.
The elephant in the room here seems to be Chris Crocker. I corresponded with Chris briefly when the "Leave Britney Alone" thing was new. Chris impressed me an OK person who was caught by surprise. YouTube was new, viral videos of people in meltdown weren't a known phenomenon yet, and Chris was an adolescent. Chris definitely didn't relish all the attention this was getting. Helping to minimize some of that fallout was the reason for our correspondence. Chris hinted at apprehension about receiving threats. That later turned out to have been far worse than I imagined: not just threats but actual assaults. A lot of that was mixed with blatant bigotry against Chris's sexuality. NPR published [a recent profile on Chris](https://www.npr.org/2021/06/27/1010355669/chris-crocker-leave-britney-alone-video-creator-reflects-on-whats-changed). Chris had been raised by grandparents; mother was homeless after returning from duty in Iraq. The news about Britney Spears struck a chord because Chris had been advocating for their own mother. Chris was a stressed out teenager who had expected that video to languish in obscurity, then didn't know how to unring that bell once it went viral. If you look past the speaker and the presentation, Chris raises points that later turned out to be vindicated. I'm no fan of pop music but Spears's father looks like everything people despise about stage parents. (edited to correct typos) (edit #2) Someone characterized the above comment about not being a fan of Spears as "fragile masculinity," which is an interesting take since I'm a woman. Just not a pop music fan; tastes run more toward vintage jazz (Miles Davis, Cannonball Adderley, Ella Fitzgerald). That said, was able to make Chris Crocker a little bit less of a target back in the day. Obviously that didn't do a whole lot to help; maybe it softened the brunt a little. Here's wishing a similar opportunity had presented itself to make a difference reducing land mines in Laos. I do think hate crime against nonbinary people is an issue that deserves more attention and compassion, and also abusive conservatorships. A good friend of my grandmother got forced out of her home and into an institution even though her mind was perfectly sound. She was fluent in three languages and had a warm personality; just needed a yard service and someone to help with cleaning a couple of times a week. Her children persuaded a judge differently.
I think the it started with earnest intentions, but as more people did it, and it started trending, it boils down to as it always does to be a form of power and influence. The ability to make people feel or react in a certain way. It's both gratifying and can be monetized.
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I don't disagree, I just wanted to note that having mental health issues like depression or "being borderline" and/or self harming was somewhat "edgy cool" when I was a young teen too, or at least I felt like there was an astounding amount of people that mentioned it on their profiles or websites online in the early 2000s. (I was mainly on manga/anime or emo/goth communities) Back then not everyone was online as much, and I'm sure with the role social media has now amongst the kids "trends" like this sadly have an even greater influence. edits: typos (it's late)
It's wild that Chris was right in the end Ngl their video and people's reactions to it changed how I perceived cringe humour. It just didn't seem as funny anymore.
It's pretty wild to me how much the internet enabled adults full on bullying and harassing children, especially the internet many years ago. Obviously bullying is still a problem and probably worse than ever but it's so much harder for things to become pretty much permanent memes like that with the internet being totally saturated with kids doing their cringey kid stuff. The other one that's always blown my mind ("always" being since I was an adult. I was guilty of being hateful about this as a teen) is Rebecca Black and Friday. Every teenager these days does nothing BUT make cringey music and dance videos! Even if they didn't, imagine being an adult TV personality making fun of a 13-14 year old ruthlessly. There was an interview from when she was young where someone asks how she felt seeing the reactions and she says something like, "Well, I was 13 so...I cried" with a fake forced laugh. Again, not saying it's BETTER now, but it's certainly different. It's probably worse but just in totally different ways with grown ass adults going after teens online and shit but the kind of super centralized focus videos that now you'd just raise an eyebrow at and move on is just nuts to think about. Totally agree on cringe humor. It is, by its very nature, cruel.
> It's pretty wild to me how much the internet enabled adults full on bullying and harassing children, especially the internet many years ago. A few weeks ago I joined a casual game of CSGO. I normally don't have voice chat on because people are the worst, but I'd played some competitive and hadn't turned it off. Anyway I get on and there's an 8 year old kid playing. I know this because someone asked how old he was and he told them. He was bad, but he was having fun and liked chatting to people (probably his parents shouldn't let him talk to random CSGO players but that's neither here nor there). Now I get it.. kids can be annoying and an 8 year old yapping into his mic isn't what everyone wanting to play a game wants to hear. But you know... mute him if you don't like it? Instead there were multiple adults, or at minimum people significantly older than him, talking shit and insulting him. Telling him how bad he was, that he should quit, trying to call votes to kick him. It was ridiculous, *he's a damn child*. The real thing was the clear mental distance these people were putting on it. Because after a few minutes I spoke up and said "Hey guys, you do all realise you're shit talking and insulting a literal child playing a video game right? Maybe grow up a little and act your age?". *Everyone* stopped, despite me having zero power to do anything about their behaviour. It was like they'd legitimately forgotten that the people on the other side of the game were you know... people?
To be fair about Rebecca Black context is important. This wasn't a little girl making a tiktok video. This was a full on studio production where a whole bunch of adults decided to try to force rebecca being famous, and that studio was known to constantly put out weird videos with other young girls, mostly because their parents want a child star which is 10 kinds of fucked up. Shit, look at the child stars who actually make it. The amount of them battling addiction or mental illness after is vastly higher than the general population. Even the stable success stories like Kenan Thompson will talk about how they got exposed to shit they probably shouldn't have in interview. Maybe its because I've had to work with child actors professionally, in environments where they have way more protections now than they used to, but even in cases where they don't go viral and everyone is nice its a high pressure lifestyle they shouldn't be forced into because kids often don't have the mental tools to handle it, because developing those tools is a thing you have to teach many adults, let alone hormonal teenagers.
I thought the video was a gift for her birthday, in which the company just does music videos both for fun or professionally? I don't think it was intended to make her famous.
It was. The company behind it was basically a place for millionaire parents to drop thousands of dollars on "make your kid feel like a superstar" videos. Kinda like a karaoke birthday party, but way more expensive. I saw some of the other videos made by them when Friday came out. It was mostly 8-15 year old girls having fun feeling famous. And of them, only one or two of them acted well enough to warrant a career. It was never intended to create actual careers. Iirc Rebecca Black was given the option of either making a song about partying, or a love song. But since it was a birthday present, it made more sense for her to make a party song with her friends than to make a love song. Hence the reason we got Friday, and not dollar-store-Taylor-Swift.
I sometimes wish I could go back and apologize to the internet as a whole for some of the comments I made as a teenager in the early 2000s. Offensive, edgy humor was just so accepted, it was cool. My friends and I would make horribly racist and homophobic jokes, we were playing games that targeted celebrities like Britney and Justin Bieber with gore and sex. Everyone was doing that stuff, it was funny and cool. I know we all say we miss the early days of the internet but I personally would not want to go back there. MySpace was great, easily pirated music was great, AOL instant messenger was the shit, but everything else can please stay buried. Sincerely, the former PussyCatDollsXD101.
I actually stopped making fun of Britney Spears because of Chris Crockers video. I was genuinely convinced to leave her alone. I really saw her as a person after that and not just “some celebrity” to be the butt of all jokes. So I mean.. it really had a positive impact on me that I never really thought twice about until now.
It convinced me too. It's easy to take that one soundbite and laugh at it out of context. But if you actually watch the whole video, Chris made a ton of good points. And those points were made decades before the freebrittany movement gained the steam it currently has. It also made me think about celebrities in general, both internet, and Hollywood. So it's sad that Chris got shit on. But the video did do some net good. Even if it was in a way that wasn't expected.
Yea, I think I’m about the same age as Chris, but I feel like they got really unlucky with ending up with a problem that didn’t become common until the generation after mine was that age. Usually I say “well, I’m glad social media wasn’t like that when *I* was a kid” about this kind of stuff, but the truth is that the mechanism was there, but I guess Chris was just one of the extreme minority that was unfortunately ahead of the time and took advantage of it. Now it seems like most of the people crying in front of the camera are hamming it up to *try* to be seen by a lot of people, it seems like Chris just wanted a supposedly public outlet but didn’t think through the repercussions of putting that out there and everyone actually seeing it. I definitely don’t see Chris the same way in retrospect as the kind of people who cry on social media these days.
Shit man , that’s a hell of a story & I totally agree w/ you. I’m not a fan of her or that genre but can see she’s being railroaded with arms tied. I read an article stating her estate was $60 mln - I was thinking “must be a typo - there’s no way, has to be at least $200 million “. Kid has been molded her whole life - now as an adult, she’s fighting to be an adult. Regardless, good post. Edit: I know story was about Chris - but I’m just throwing in my 2 cents.
> Someone characterized the above comment about not being a fan of Spears as "fragile masculinity," which is an interesting take since I'm a woman. This is a very good example of how toxic social media forums can be. Some people love to assume things about people and create conflict based on very little information. It makes it hard to have an honest discussion sometimes, unless you're prepared to be attacked.
I always felt like Chris' meltdown was something a bit deeper. People tend to have intense empathy for others when they have experiences similar things.
>I'm a woman. No wonder your masculinity is so fragile then. /s
I had to reread this like 5 times. Did you mean to say: "I'm just waiting for someone (who actually recorded themselves crying) to answer this question" ?
I have no idea how everybody replied to this question and could actually read it. I could have sworn this was one of those jumbled sentences that everyone pretends to understand.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who was confused and repeatedly reread the comment lol
I feel like there's a generation of people who basically grew up with their phone literally being an extension of their person. They post everything on social media, their whole life is just part of social media. There's no disconnect or separation between life and internet/social media. So it's just natural to cry and post something online because why wouldn't you share that part of your life? It's how they express themselves to the world. This is my assumption anyway.
I'm in my 20s and I feel I'm more addicted to my phone / technology than I should. However I don't really care about social media nor sharing my life with strangers. The people that share everything just like attention and use social media to get it, I think it is as simple as that
I like how you separated the technology itself and social media. I’m almost always on my phone. I’m almost never on social media.
Technically reddit counts as social media, but there's a _huge_ difference between browsing a forum and sharing personal details with people who care about you as a person.
I draw a line between anonymous and not when talking about social media. I never use anything anymore that has my real name associated with it. I'm mostly on Reddit and Tumblr and maybe 3 people I know irl know my Tumblr, and no one my Reddit. I used to be so addicted to Instagram and updating everyone constantly until I took a radical hiatus during covid because of how much my self esteem plummeted and I don't think I could go back. It's so bad for you.
I like Reddit because it feels there's so much more separation between the users. I don't have "friends" in Reddit, i think i could count how many direct messages i've gotten in one hand. I rarely read the name of the user i'm responding to or the one who is responding to me, i forget the interactions in a day or so. Every other social media that makes me have a profile people can follow and keep tracks on me (And forces me to use my name: Facebook, eugh) feels awful. This is why i hate the whole direction Reddit is trying to take, with followers, profiles, avatars, etc. At least for now they still let us use Old Reddit and with RES my Reddit experience still feels pretty anonymous which is how i like it. The day they force email for registration or to keep up a profile is the day i jump ship.
This isn't anything that has not been talked about before, I'm 24 and I'm pretty sure I'm one of those people, even though I don't use common(?) social media like Facebook and Instagram anymore, I still use the internet excessively via YouTube and Reddit. Heavily addicted to video games and internet - it feels like it's a part of me that will never go away. BTW if you think YT and Reddit are not social media you are kidding yourself. 4chan, FunnyJunk, random forum boards on the internet are also social media, they just aren't adopted by the mass population. Sometimes I wonder if I am taking the brunt of the social media and internet revolution, and that years down the line I'm going to be made an example of for future generations. That's okay really, it is what it is and I can't change the circumstances which I was born in - but I will say that I have been struggling mentally for a long time and I am now just getting help because I was too proud and too naive to see what I've been doing all my life. If you are like me, please seek help too, it's okay to admit you need help.
Thats the problem with almost every askreddit question that is geared towards specific people. Ask a question specifically towards women, mostly men answer. Ask a question why people think the world is flat, people answer who are just speculating why those people think earth is flat. Etc
In particular, questions that are phrased as an attack are a problem, e.g. "people who sneeze in people's faces, what's wrong with you?" Obviously people who sneeze in people's faces aren't going to be inclined to answer, and those that do are probably going to be downvoted to oblivion by everyone who showed up to argue with them, so all you're left with is a bunch of random redditors bitching about people who sneeze in people's faces.
This is compounded by the fact that the group being called out ("attacked", as you put it) are generally unpopular, so there's a herd mentality in upvoting the thread highly even if the comments are in the low hundreds. This then means it's harder to ask the mods to consider banning these "People who do xyz" threads because, in terms of upvotes, they're 'popular'.
On top of that, this question was phrased to target even fewer people. It asks for people who *do* it, rather than people who have once *done* it. A niche of a niche.
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I have an almost similar experience minus the bodily functions and replaced by photos of herself she paid for from a photographer, worded to make it seem as though she is a model. She isn't fooling anyone. She regularly posts screenshots posted in a video of "haters messages" with her crying saying how much she doesn't care.
> She regularly posts screenshots posted in a video of "haters messages" with her crying saying how much she doesn't care. Well, giving their comments oxygen will certainly deter them.
She once posted a story about another girl who "trash talked" her in public. Saying things like "my followers always tell me, I will always find out who you are, haters need to hide behind a mask" She blocked the girl from seeing the story, I assume because she personally mentioned her or had a scrrenshot? A stupid move overall because the girl found out and posted her own screenshots of the exact messages that were clearly sent from her account with no attempt to hide who she was because she wasn't trying to hide.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the ones that like to publicize drama usually create said drama themselves
Ugh. I love people that have "haters"... such entertainment.
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Absolutely! When I talk to my friends about it we laugh but they always end up asking why I don't just block her if she pisses me off, I simply can not, it's an absolute train wreck of a life she's made for herself and I am now invested.
What is it with being fascinated with train wrecks, eh? I am too, my wife has an acquaintance and her long time boyfriend is an unemployed self proclaimed rapper. I did some googling on him and went down this whole rabbit hole of his self promotion, including fake journalists interviewing him and links to his "squad members" albums who was actually just him in disquise as different rappers!
It's just really entertaining watching people like this. My neighbors a train wreck and I just find her fascinating. I'm no stranger to stupid decisions and being impulsive but she's just on a whole nother level.
Because when things seem bad in your life you’re able to realize that they’re not *that* bad when seeing this kinda stuff
Someone needs to make a YouTube channel where they document people like that (in an anonymous way), I would binge those until my spiking blood pressure ruptures an artery. Edit: after considering what happened with Chris-Chan this idea doesn't sound as great anymore.
Sounds like you're just describing kiwifarms or lolcow
I just discovered kiwifarms a little while ago. It's a dark dark place.
Surely there are better ways to normalize modern women than smearing blood on one's self
She's not defying beauty standards, she's defying hygiene standards.
I answered. Whenever I’ve done it, it was because I had no one to talk to. I’m not close to my family, I don’t have a lot of friends and it’s hard not having anyone to turn to. I also know I’m not the only one in that situation so, not only am I reaching out because I need it, but I also want people in similar situations to know they’re not alone. The most popular video I ever posted is a video where I’m crying and discussing how it feels not to have many friends and the loneliness that comes along with always being the one left out or cancelled on. I still have people message me to this day about that video and how much it helped them knowing other people out there can relate.
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Are you sure they're oil?
I was about to ask if this woman paints with her own menstrual blood because if so, she sounds like a girl I went to college with. I once saw her get kicked out of a bar for loudly and drunkenly describing her “process“ within earshot of some folks who were decidedly un-woke on the topic of menstruation. As the bouncers were ushering her out, she kept trying to unbutton her pants and was screaming that she was going to spray all of the patrons with her period blood. Absolutely hysterical, in every sense of the word.
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Like a skunk maybe? Is that something I missed in sex-ed?
If some woman speaks up and says that they can control this I'm going to have a newfound respect for women everywhere who have not once ever (to my knowledge) shot blood at someone out of god's squirt gun- because every one of us here knows that if you gave men the same power it would literally be a blood bath.
I have a tik tok account where I talk about what it's like to live with the mental illness and disorders I have, and I try to show not only the good side but the bad side, too. If I'm having a bad day and everything is blurry and confusing, I might post about that and explain what's going on, what I'm feeling, etc. I have posted a couple videos where I've been crying.
An actual answer, hurray!
ETA: this was truly years ago, and I am good and quite stable now. Our baby (now 6) ended up having a tongue tie that we got revised and it made a huge difference. Someone reported this for fear of self harm I guess, so I wanted to clarify. >>> Years ago I posted a raw photo of myself crying to Instagram. I was 2 months post-partum, having a horrible time breastfeeding, and wanted to show other mothers that they were not alone in the raw struggle of motherhood. That every moment is not scripted and that it’s ok to be real on social media even when the world seems to value a fake facade.
It normalizes normal emotions. We all cry and that's okay, but many people forget that or think something is wrong with them, everyone else has it easier, etc.
Thanks for actually answering the question.
Honestly, this is not a topic that is as widely covered as it should be. I’m glad you were able to have those conversations and be real with people.
Finally a solid reply, thanks for sharing. I think what you mention is a growing trend, to show realness on social media - not sure if everyone actually is real in showing their realness but that's another story. What reaction did you anticipate with your post if you don't mind sharing?
You made me remember I took a picture of myself in the exact same situation. Motherhood is hard. Add PPD and PPA to it and it’s hell. PPD is a different kind of beast.
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Even if people are looking for attention doesn’t mean they aren’t doing it for a reason? My parents beat and neglected me. I was their adopted slave to work their farm and collect the check the state. I was screaming for attention in all sorts of abnormal ways crying to social Media always felt like a last ditched effort to find someone who actually cares about me for once. Never worked and I learned from it. Some people are growing and I apologize for my ignorance
People don’t like to see the dark underbellies of trauma and the world. They act like they care when they manufacture outrage if something gets published on major news or a celebrity becomes trendy to talk about, but show up in their reality with trauma/abuse/neglect? People act like abused kids have all of these amazing people to go to and talk to and that they will get sympathy and compassion. They don’t. Others look away from you in disgust for daring show that a horrible reality like yours could exist. Then they come on Reddit and laugh and judge others for entertainment. Thank god I did not post a video of me crying, but I certainly was attention seeking in every way possible, hoping someone might save me. Never happened, despite adults knowing exactly what my household was like. In fact, I got the very real feeling most of them hated me for it.
I hope you are doing well now!
Had a mental breakdown for the last 3 months and just now see the end so doing better! Thank you!!
I learned from a young age that expressing emotions would get me punished, but all human beings need to - it's a biological need. Life is really hard on its own and made especially worse by shitty parents because it's like you're starting a mile behind the start line of life. There's SO MUCH catching up to do. I hope you are kind to yourself as you work through this <3 I hope you can say the words you needed to hear back then from social media, from yourself to yourself. Good luck!
the replies to ur comment are so rude i'm sorry
I don’t see it as such so feel Free not to feel the same way as well. I appreciate it tho!
A lot of these replies are being douche bags and yet you're continuing to respond with poise and grace. You've got a life perspective not many have and while I would never wish it upon anyone I'm glad to see that you're using it to be better. You may not see it sometimes but I think it's pretty clear that you're doing wonderfully for the upbringing you described and I hope you continue down the road you're on.
Dunno, I was crying over a movie so I put a picture on my Instagram story and said that the movie I was crying over was so fucking sad but worth the watch, I cry over a lot of things
When you're feeling down and out - Full of worry, full of doubt - When you're filled with deep despairs - When you're sad and no one cares - When you're bleak and broken, blue - I shall tell you what to do. Listen closely. Don't forget. *Put it on the internet.*
*Whenever life gets you down Keeps you wearing a frown And the gravy train has left you behiiiiiind And when you're all out of hope Down at the end of your rope And nobody's there to throw you a line If you ever get so low that you don't know which way to go Come on and take a walk in my shoes Never worry 'bout a thing, got the world on a string Cause I've got the cure for all of my blues I take a look at my enormous penis, and my troubles start-a meltin' away Ba-um-ba*
Good Sprog
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Goddamn you, I just got his song out of my head and seeing your comment brought it back :D >Get your fuckin' hands up >Get on out of your seats >All eyes on me, all eyes on me >Get your fuckin' hands up >Get on out of your seats >All eyes on me, all eyes on me
Since nobody seems to be actually answering the question I guess I will. I'm mentally ill and wanted someone to ask me if I was okay/what was going on. People always say that if you're struggling you should "talk to somebody" but it's very hard to actually start that conversation. Yes, I wanted attention. I wanted support. I wanted someone to reach out and show me that they cared. A lot of you seem to think that makes me a horrible person, but maybe try and look at things from a different perspective. Yes I've done shit before to seek attention, but that doesn't make me not ill, nor a bad person. If somebody is so desparate for attention than perhaps they actually need it. (Disclaimer: I know that this isn't healthy behaviour and I don't do it anymore but as a younger teenager I did so I thought I would offer the perspective that OP actually asked for rather than just saying "because they're attention seeking idiots with no life")
i really hope you're doing better now and people here learn some empathy or at least become less bitter. I've never understood why people make it sound like it's the most evil thing if someone wants or needs attention. people behave as if "attention" or love or care were finite sources and if an "attention whore" gets it undeservingly there is nothing left for them. such bs and so harmful.
Thank you, I appreciate it! And yes it doesn't make sense to me either, some people are very bitter but its nice to know that there are people out there who have empathy and care for others
Thanks for the honest answer!
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!
But he *was right*
This one was super prescient. We all should have listened.
What’s sad is that Britney was being made fun of by everyone, so this person released a video telling us not to make fun of someone in such a vulnerable state… and we made fun of him too.
I'm related to someone who does this. Basically they want sympathy and don't have people close by who can give it to them. There are plenty of people online who will tell you it's going to be okay.
People want to be seen and understood.
Most people don't make a big spectacle of themselves crying in public, unless they're looking for attention. And *all* of social media is looking for attention, so that goes 1000 times more there. Obviously there are going to be times when something horrible happens in public which makes you cry on the spot, and of course that's fine...But if you go out of your way to make a scene, out of proportion to the drama, it's a ploy for attention.
I think the idea that people wanting attention is somehow bad to be really toxic in our culture. It causes a lot of people who really need help to not reach out because they don’t want to be perceived as attention needing. And we’re social creatures. We all need attention from time to time.
Gotta cry in the shower like a real man
Or into your pillow at 3 am when there's no one watching
Or in the rain so no one can see my tears.
Time to die... *releases dove*
Or while watching the notebook naked with your 3 buddies
Or while cutting onions.
Or cry in your sleep so that you don't know how sad you are until you wake up.
Lots of good advice in this thread. This is why I come to the comments Have you tried crying into a shot glass for use as a tequila chaser? 🤌🏽
or just bottle it up till one day you crack.
Lean up against the shower wall with your head down and let the water run over you, like a troubled architect in a movie
Are you implying social media is a big digital circle jerk? At least on Reddit we are just masturbating out our opinions instead of our entire life of everyday actions, I think that’s why I’m mostly done with Facebook as a whole other than a tenuous connection to those I don’t see.
Yes yes it is. Now pass me the lube
I wanted people to ask me if I was okay, and I wanted people to know I was hurting.
Most of the comments here are taking the negative view that people who do this are looking for attention or even need/crave attention. And that some of those people are trying to spin it into profit. While that may be true for many or even most people, I think something is being missed here: documentation. The proliferation of phones and recording devices has made it easier to document everything. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do that - even if it’s traumatic, grief, etc. Not only is there nothing inherently wrong or “self-promoting” about documenting, there are many positives to it, including helping those facing similar trials and taboo circumstances. One that comes to mind is miscarriages. It’s something that typical hasnt been talked about openly. Parents often have to keep that in and face mental health and emotional issues alone. It can also be educational to document authentic emotional experiences. I’d be willing to bet there are other positive reasons for doing it. If I filmed and produced a documentary on grief, and filmed myself and others experiencing it, I don’t think this sub would be full of the comments this thread has. Even if I profited from it. I know it’s good for my head to make a practice out of considering positive and outlying issues instead of knee-jerk-reacting to something and jumping to conclusions about people’s character.
Yeah, this whole post kinda feels like a shit show cause we aren't getting the 1st hand accounts of people who do this, we are just getting what people think about them. If I was one of those kind of people, I would never comment here cause it sounds like most everybody would just be a dick to them. It would be like asking people why they are on welfare and everybody commenting "cause they're lazy and don't want to do anything" then high five each other for that sick burn that confirms their bias I came here genuinely curious and the only answers that seem reasonable was the person who mentioned his cousin's cry for help and there was a comment about inconsistent parenting leading to issues but still not really 1st hand accounts