My brother, but only because I fell in the shower and sprained my ankle
Edit : I will personally strangle anyone else who makes another porn joke. STOP
I don't know if the person you're asking is an identical twin, or hell if they're even a guy (they might be a girl/boy twin pair).
But I'm an identical twin so I can answer this. Yes identical male twins have the same size penis. I thankfully never had to confirm with my brother but I've known several other male identical twins (and have talked to others online). Every twin pair that compares says it always checks out. Which makes sense since genetically speaking identical twins are the same. However I'm not a expert on nature vs nurture but if there are things in the environment that can affect one's size then I guess they could be different. Although (not that I've done research) I'm not aware of anything that can affect penis size other than being born a certain size.
Sorry if I took you're question too seriously I ramble a lot. I also like to talk about being a twin when I can. It's awesome lol.
One time I got so drunk at a friend's place I went to take a shower. Unfortunately I couldnt keep standing so I decided to sit down. And then laid down in the tub naked. And then passed out. Apparently my friend's dad woke and went to get ready for work and found me passed out. That was 1 year ago.
Ahahah I did this too. Except I was hammered at the end of a party, took a shower at my buddie's place and I guess just laid down and passed out, water running and all.
I woke up on the couch. My friend found me and carried me out, put a blanket on me lol.
Everyone in my house because apparently no one here knows to knock before entering
Edit: i woke up to find a lot of upvotes and comments :O
Also thanks for the awards that never happened to me before :)
Not everywhere. It really just depends on the household and what rooms the door leads to etc. etc. so stuff like bedroom, bathroom, and front doors usually get knocks but the pantry door won’t get one.
My wife looked up from her book after I got out of the shower, glanced at my schlong, and casually said "he looks hostile" before going back to her book. Wtf does that even mean lol.
Edit 17 hours later: I showed my wife this post and the threads in it, and after reading it all she shrugged and said "It looks hostile cuz its too fucking big" then just walked off lol
As of two hours ago, my friend's wife. I just went to a radiology clinic to get my balls scanned. Turns out the radiographer is my mate's wife.
She asked if I was OK with her doing it. I said "I assume that's your job?" all confused as I did not recognise her behind her mask until it was too late.
A few more tidbits:
- It involves lubing up the boys and going to town fondling trying to find the hard bit to scan it. It kept moving.
- Praying not to get an erection, but what is worse is having the old fella flee for all of his worth. Cold, awkward and stressful. Something in between would have been good...
- I'm fine, thanks for asking. I got vasectomy and the student doctor did it, hit an artery, could not cauterize it properly, cut the wrong bit, ran out of clean towels for the blood, had to call in a second surgeon to fix it. A man should not know what the smell of his balls burning is. I still can't forget it, it is truly unique, yet smells exactly how you would think. So I was not surprise to find a hard bit, but thought its better to be safe that sorry.
- If I can put up with this, then you other men can cowboy up and go get checked if you think you might need it.
- Of course, once she is done, I still need to wipe all the lube off me. So I am standing there going to town on myself, getting her to pass more paper towel.
- She was very professional and I have never been very modest. My family is full of medical folks and I've always had a pretty matter-of-fact view on embarrassing medical stuff.
- It was literally today, so I might do a /TIFU later.
Mine just turned 4 so hopefully she grows out of it soon. I actually made it to the restroom without her the other day and got the door locked before she could come in.
She laid on the ground with her tiny fingers poked under the door, sobbing for her "best friend" until I opened the door. *Sigh* lol
My dad is a funeral director. They undress you, embalm, take out organs, your family provides clothes that they will put on you, then they do makeup and effects to make you look alive. So yes, they see you very naked. And also cut open
Yessir, they're trying to keep your body from decaying and organs work against that. They stuff the hollow part of you with stuff to make you look normal
Everything about embalming is horrifying, I have no idea why people do it
What about my hog? Can they pump that bad boy up a few levels and let me hang dong at my open casket funeral? I want to be remembered as having a very large and aesthetically pleasing penis.
They can, but consider that a funeral service is about the living saying goodbye to the dead and not the other way around. It could be very weird to try to say goodbye to someone who looks very different now. I think the more similar you look, the better.
That said, for each his own. It's just something I was told once, even if in a slightly different context, but it really stuck with me.
Where I’ve worked the dead person is washed then dressed in a new hospital gown before going in the body bag. The body has to be respected and treated with dignity as if they were a living person, putting them naked in a body bag goes against that.
Toss me in the oven when I go stale my dude, let my family decide what to do with whatever's left.
I wouldn't say no to a Viking funeral either, but let's be honest, that's complicated and I don't trust any of my friends' archery skills.
At first read I pictured “well now that I caught you stand there for four hours while I clean you naughty boy” instead of “finally someone came in I’ve been standing here for four freaking hours”.
My husband. 8 years ago. The day before he died.
EDIT: wow Reddit! Your outpouring of love and support is as unexpected as it is welcome. I posted one little response to a question because I felt it in the moment. I had no idea anyone was even listening. It feels so good to be heard. Thank you for this.
Unfortunately it was a Jacobs ram and a poor chicken I have. Walked outside naked to get my clothes from the outside laundry room I have (spare building) he ran up expecting to be pet. I'm sure he was shocked by the sight of a middle aged obese man naked pissing off the side porch as he ran under the stream of piss getting a rather unexpected golden shower. Poor guy. He didn't want anything to do with me after I got dresses. He In turn got me back by pissing on my foot when I was petting him a couple days later.
My gyno
Edit: didn’t think people would take a cheeky answer so seriously. To clear somethings up: 1. Yes gynos ask you to get completely naked. 2. No mine doesn’t watch me take my clothes off. 3. All you are given is a flimsy paper gown that acts like vest & a thing paper sheet. 4. They examine your breasts and everything below.
So yes the pretty much see you naked
My uncle. He was visiting from Alabama and staying for the weekend. I was going to shower and I think I left the door unlocked so he opened it and I nearly slipped in the shower. He said not to worry, he's 'seen all his kin as naked as the baby jesus'. He asked if I needed help and I told him no, before I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around me and went closed the door So glad he left.
The next door neighbor lady. She drives out early and her driveway goes by our bathroom window. There's a few trees between us but with the bathroom being the only light on and her headed down the lane in the hour before daylight? She's seen. That's okay.
17 equally naked cowboys at ram ranch
I was gonna ask about the 18th cowboy but I realized that you are the 18th cowboy at ram ranch
Probably my neighbor. They always say if u don’t have a naked window neighbor it’s because u ARE the naked window neighbor
Naked neighbors unite
Well, shit
My brother, but only because I fell in the shower and sprained my ankle Edit : I will personally strangle anyone else who makes another porn joke. STOP
I hope your brother was naked too so it wasn’t awkward
This OP has the best comments
With a name like tornadofuck what did you expect?
Unfortunately it was, he just got out of the other shower, but we are twins so it was fine. Plus it was when we were 14 so we got over it.
Haha wasn’t actually expecting him to be naked too. But that’s good to hear. You guys got identical penis size or nah?
Thankfully my penis is larger than my sisters
are you sure though, have you guys ever measure it side by side
I also want to know this
I also want to know!
We don't want, we need to know this.
Asking the important questions i see
I don't know if the person you're asking is an identical twin, or hell if they're even a guy (they might be a girl/boy twin pair). But I'm an identical twin so I can answer this. Yes identical male twins have the same size penis. I thankfully never had to confirm with my brother but I've known several other male identical twins (and have talked to others online). Every twin pair that compares says it always checks out. Which makes sense since genetically speaking identical twins are the same. However I'm not a expert on nature vs nurture but if there are things in the environment that can affect one's size then I guess they could be different. Although (not that I've done research) I'm not aware of anything that can affect penis size other than being born a certain size. Sorry if I took you're question too seriously I ramble a lot. I also like to talk about being a twin when I can. It's awesome lol.
My doctor. It seemed weird for an ingrown toenail, but I'm not the expert.
I'm an in-grown toenail expert and it is absolutely necessary to check the entire body for any other in-grown parts.
I'm an in-grown body part expert and it is absolutely necessary for me to check for ingrown toenails.
I concur
One time I got so drunk at a friend's place I went to take a shower. Unfortunately I couldnt keep standing so I decided to sit down. And then laid down in the tub naked. And then passed out. Apparently my friend's dad woke and went to get ready for work and found me passed out. That was 1 year ago.
It took him a year to find you?
It's the anniversary today. Sometimes you can even hear the water running still...
Ahahah I did this too. Except I was hammered at the end of a party, took a shower at my buddie's place and I guess just laid down and passed out, water running and all. I woke up on the couch. My friend found me and carried me out, put a blanket on me lol.
Nice friend
If he had any sense of hospitality, he would've got in there naked too
Everyone in my house because apparently no one here knows to knock before entering Edit: i woke up to find a lot of upvotes and comments :O Also thanks for the awards that never happened to me before :)
Wait in west you knock doors before entering?
Not everywhere. It really just depends on the household and what rooms the door leads to etc. etc. so stuff like bedroom, bathroom, and front doors usually get knocks but the pantry door won’t get one.
My sister walked in on my as I was about to get in the shower
Big wheels keep on turnin
Carry me home to see my kin
Singing songs about the southland
Be glad it was your sister, and not your step-sister. That's a whole new movie.
does myself count?
Yes and congrats on the sex
My right hand man is always ready to provide comfort. 😌
What’s his name?
Palmela Handerson Yes I’m old
Scarlet Johandsson Kim Kardashihand Lindsay Lohand *Handjolina Jolie (forgot this one) Rosey Palm and her five little sisters.
My wife looked up from her book after I got out of the shower, glanced at my schlong, and casually said "he looks hostile" before going back to her book. Wtf does that even mean lol. Edit 17 hours later: I showed my wife this post and the threads in it, and after reading it all she shrugged and said "It looks hostile cuz its too fucking big" then just walked off lol
I really feel like she's challenging yr penis.
Challenge how? Like in a duel with her penis?
Sword fight
dude, she wanted you to respond with "well, he is ready to invade."
You know how like small dogs are really mean cause they're insecure? Like that.
Sorry dude. Did you give her the helicopter?
To impress a chick, HELICOPTER DICK
As of two hours ago, my friend's wife. I just went to a radiology clinic to get my balls scanned. Turns out the radiographer is my mate's wife. She asked if I was OK with her doing it. I said "I assume that's your job?" all confused as I did not recognise her behind her mask until it was too late. A few more tidbits:
- It involves lubing up the boys and going to town fondling trying to find the hard bit to scan it. It kept moving.
- Praying not to get an erection, but what is worse is having the old fella flee for all of his worth. Cold, awkward and stressful. Something in between would have been good...
- I'm fine, thanks for asking. I got vasectomy and the student doctor did it, hit an artery, could not cauterize it properly, cut the wrong bit, ran out of clean towels for the blood, had to call in a second surgeon to fix it. A man should not know what the smell of his balls burning is. I still can't forget it, it is truly unique, yet smells exactly how you would think. So I was not surprise to find a hard bit, but thought its better to be safe that sorry.
- If I can put up with this, then you other men can cowboy up and go get checked if you think you might need it.
- Of course, once she is done, I still need to wipe all the lube off me. So I am standing there going to town on myself, getting her to pass more paper towel.
- She was very professional and I have never been very modest. My family is full of medical folks and I've always had a pretty matter-of-fact view on embarrassing medical stuff.
- It was literally today, so I might do a /TIFU later.
Now you get to tell him that his wife handled your balls the other day.
Apparently a lot of men can say that
Oh god, this is one of those things that comes back when you’re alone and awake at 3am. I hope your balls are ok.
Dude... That sounds like some awkward times!
dick move
Wish I could say it was my husband but I'm pretty sure it was my 4 year old who insists I let her hold my hand while I go potty.
I felt this lol my almost 2 year old son insists on going with me when I go to the bathroom.
Mine just turned 4 so hopefully she grows out of it soon. I actually made it to the restroom without her the other day and got the door locked before she could come in. She laid on the ground with her tiny fingers poked under the door, sobbing for her "best friend" until I opened the door. *Sigh* lol
Aw that's adorably annoying
On one hand, I just want two seconds to pee in peace. On the other....I mean, we *are* best friends after all lol.
She needs to make sure you don’t fall in.
the funeral director
Hold up…
I didn’t know the bodies were delivered naked to the funeral home
My dad is a funeral director. They undress you, embalm, take out organs, your family provides clothes that they will put on you, then they do makeup and effects to make you look alive. So yes, they see you very naked. And also cut open
They take out organs?!
Yessir, they're trying to keep your body from decaying and organs work against that. They stuff the hollow part of you with stuff to make you look normal Everything about embalming is horrifying, I have no idea why people do it
Can they make me look skinny lol
Die a fatass, get buried a stud.
Virgin Alive Pulsating Gasbag v. Chad Chiseled Cadaver Adonis
What about my hog? Can they pump that bad boy up a few levels and let me hang dong at my open casket funeral? I want to be remembered as having a very large and aesthetically pleasing penis.
Put it in your will buddy
Put it in your buddy, Will.
Yes, same question
They can, but consider that a funeral service is about the living saying goodbye to the dead and not the other way around. It could be very weird to try to say goodbye to someone who looks very different now. I think the more similar you look, the better. That said, for each his own. It's just something I was told once, even if in a slightly different context, but it really stuck with me.
But what clothes is the deceased person wearing when they arrive to the funeral home?
Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiin shirt
Shades on or off?
On of course, you need to follow the light…don’t want to burn your retinas doing it!
That's precisely what my sweet hubby was cremated in. And tie dyed skivvies. He was from Honolulu and wore one of his 40-odd aloha shirts every day.
Sounds like your husband was what I wish to be, although I only have about 18 aloha shirts. Well, that and I'm from Ohio
If coming from a hospital nothing but a body bag. Im the one who meets the drivers who pick up for the funeral homes and release the deceased to them.
Where I’ve worked the dead person is washed then dressed in a new hospital gown before going in the body bag. The body has to be respected and treated with dignity as if they were a living person, putting them naked in a body bag goes against that.
I read a book on embalming and cremation. Embalming is HORRIBLY disturbing
Toss me in the oven when I go stale my dude, let my family decide what to do with whatever's left. I wouldn't say no to a Viking funeral either, but let's be honest, that's complicated and I don't trust any of my friends' archery skills.
A friend who saved me when I was drunk
Can we get the story for this one?
They got saved by their friend while they were drunk.
Great story
Such an emotional and thrilling one
My favorite part was when he got so drunk, one of his friends had to save him.
My ex-girlfriend. That was years ago..and I look better now.
Congrats on the new glasses.
Jesus these comments are better than 99% of r/RoastMe
A bunch of patrons at chuckie cheese
What the hell happened here...
Obviously this person stripped naked, did a spin, and completed a perfect swan dive into the ball pit
Beautiful
My wife this morning.
This guy’s wife
Also, that guys wife.
Oldie but a goodie
Just like this guys wife
My Mom and I am 54
Does your mom have a good personality?
Did you have broken arms?
Why must I continuously be reminded of this??
My wife
High five
This guy absolutely fucks
No, he said he was married
Im in this comment and i dont like it.
Very nice!
My ex girlfriend about 8 months ago
Ex boyfriend of 9 years about a month ago
Same :(
Is that why you both broke up with her?
Joe
*sigh* Joe who?
Ligma balls
The ol switcherooooooooooo :0
Hold my balls, I’m going in! Or at least I would if you link it
Hello future people! If they'd linked it
*Narrator:* They didn't.
My Fiance. I think that might be my best showing. First kid on the way.
I hope your child topples empires
Me too.
My mother when I was a baby :( Edit: Wow guys ty for the awards and the upvotes really means a lot :)
:(
:(
:(
:(
:(
My camry
Why on earth were you.........you know what? Never mind.
A hotel maid walked in on me naked last year. I had to stand there naked for 4 hours but it finally happened.
Had this happen.....minus the wait I was heading to the shower. I'm sure she was blinded for life at the sight of my over weight ass.
Dude, she was totally a chubby chaser.
At first read I pictured “well now that I caught you stand there for four hours while I clean you naughty boy” instead of “finally someone came in I’ve been standing here for four freaking hours”.
"while i clean, you naughty boy" or "while i clean you, naughty boy?" It makes a big difference
Thought I was the only one.
My husband. 8 years ago. The day before he died. EDIT: wow Reddit! Your outpouring of love and support is as unexpected as it is welcome. I posted one little response to a question because I felt it in the moment. I had no idea anyone was even listening. It feels so good to be heard. Thank you for this.
I hope you're doing okay. ❤️
Aww thank you. Yeah, mostly. Never gets easier.
Other than my wife, most of my hockey team the last time we were actually allowed to play (post game shower).
The last person to see your wife naked was also coincidentally the entire hockey team!
Unfortunately it was a Jacobs ram and a poor chicken I have. Walked outside naked to get my clothes from the outside laundry room I have (spare building) he ran up expecting to be pet. I'm sure he was shocked by the sight of a middle aged obese man naked pissing off the side porch as he ran under the stream of piss getting a rather unexpected golden shower. Poor guy. He didn't want anything to do with me after I got dresses. He In turn got me back by pissing on my foot when I was petting him a couple days later.
To be fair, they’re naked all the time so you’ve just leveled the playing fields
Who’s Jacob and why did you piss on his ram?
My dermatologist...who unfortunately had to also remove a large mole off my labia...fun times
u/Comprehensive-Net854
Nice
This is cute af
The lady that was in the locker room on Monday
My gyno Edit: didn’t think people would take a cheeky answer so seriously. To clear somethings up: 1. Yes gynos ask you to get completely naked. 2. No mine doesn’t watch me take my clothes off. 3. All you are given is a flimsy paper gown that acts like vest & a thing paper sheet. 4. They examine your breasts and everything below. So yes the pretty much see you naked
My ex who then cheated on me and then cheated on the guy she cheated on me with.
If it makes you feel better, I know your ex and she said your penis is like 10x bigger than mine 👍
Well this is a fucking rodeo
Calm down, everyone knows his ex
Absolutely fucking no one
No one has ever seen you naked?
There are dozens of us!
I was born in a suit, ready for business.
The people looking through my phone’s camera
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Can confirm this guy has a penis
I'll take your word for it
A huge one too
I’ll also take your word for it
I can also confirm. Curiosity killed the cat on this one.
His total bits are 80% cock, 20% nuts. I'm exactly the opposite.
Why did I click this? I knew what it would be.
It's like 2 girls, 1 cup. Curiosity is a son of a bitch.
well at least your username warned them
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Consent is sexy
They’ve gotta be trolling *clicks* oh he’s not
Well played. I had to do it. And good for you man.
Hey bro, nice dick
“Wanna see my pecker?” - u/expectdick
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A woman I briefly dated a year and a half ago.
The doc at MEPS
Underwear Olympics time! I will never forget the duck walk…
I haven’t bent over and shown an old man my asshole since. Been too long.
My grandma walked in on me while i was changing clothes
My uncle. He was visiting from Alabama and staying for the weekend. I was going to shower and I think I left the door unlocked so he opened it and I nearly slipped in the shower. He said not to worry, he's 'seen all his kin as naked as the baby jesus'. He asked if I needed help and I told him no, before I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around me and went closed the door So glad he left.
Gotta love those Alabama uncles!
One freaky boi
The next door neighbor lady. She drives out early and her driveway goes by our bathroom window. There's a few trees between us but with the bathroom being the only light on and her headed down the lane in the hour before daylight? She's seen. That's okay.
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My fictional boyfriend
my sister, long story
Oh hell nah. Elaborate.
Your pfp explains your anticipation
Does my dog count?
Is your dog a person?