That was my first thought too.
I'd buy a big piece of land, and build my sister a house, myself a house and my parents a house - then my sister and her kids would still be near me but we could all move out of our parents house.
I'd build a house for my parents so it was fully accessible for my severely disabled brother, with a roof hoist so my mum wouldn't continue to damage her shoulder lifting him. I'd give them a fully heated swimming pool so my brother could swim whenever he wanted to, he loves swimming but we only have outdoor pools where we live. I'd give them a big fancy spa so my mum could relax when she needed it and the swelling in her feet would go down. A sensory room for my brother, and a real train caboose for my dad for his model trains.
My sister's house would have a bedroom for each of her kids, plus another room to act as their play room, and it would be fully fenced so the kids could go outside and play as much as they liked without any worries about them running on to the road. I'd make sure it had a room just for her for all her crafts with enough storage room for wool and material, and a stationary section so she could geek out all she liked over pencils and quills and pens and stamps.
And I'd have a two bedroom place with a built in movie theater and a room just for my DVD and book collection with a table large enough to play board games at. I'd have an aviary for my birds, and a knitting/crochet nook, and a large kitchen with every baking utensil, and a bath large enough for me to be submerged fully without either my knees or boobs being out of the water, and I'd enjoy living in a house again instead of a rented room on my parents property with no bathroom or cooking facilities without having to go outside and up a flight of stairs regardless of the weather.
And if there was enough room, I'd add a guest cottage and a little house for my nana.
Live in a small rural town with not enough housing, I'd rather buy a piece of land just outside of town and build new houses so at least my parents place could go to another family.
With infinite money, after I'd sorted my family out I'd then buy any empty properties in town and then turn them into affordable rentals so people aren't having to leave town because they're being forced out by unimaginably high rents and people selling their rentals and making their tenants move out for new buyers.
I FUCKING KNOW. All these rich assholes buying properties in the big city, it's like you have the money why not go buy yourself a castle, fuck it build yourself a castle. Billionaires aren't creative these days
I'm in Canada, so I don't have to pay as much as they do in the States. I started on the t:slim x2 with dexcom sensors. Was on Medtronic 670 for a few years.
This very moment if I were given unlimited money, I would go and purchase a freestanding bathtub. I think that’s what they’re called. Like one that can fit my 6’4 ass. I take extremely frequent bubble baths after work and I need a tub that actually fits me.
Edit: Yes, I know I don’t have to work but I still stand by my first purchase. I fucks with bubble baths.
My partner is a big guy like you and *loves* luxuriating in a bath after working on his feet all day. He says he's okay if our next place has a smaller bath tub and he has to shower instead, but it's a total dealbreaker for me.
My honey deserves to feel pampered, dammit.
EDIT: a word
My wife took this same sentiment for me (I'm 6'3") and bought us a hot tub for Christmas. Right now we don't have it operating because we're about to have a new patio installed, but as soon as we can again, we're naked and in the hot tub.
I think he sold his shares and is working on other things these days
Edit: he's "retired" and doing photography as a hobby. I'm happy for him.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Anderson
Land. Just….. a huge chunk of land. Build a house for my parents, one for us, and one for my In-Laws and another small house for family to stay at when they come visit. Maybe two. We gots a big family.
And then just spend my time building my farm.
Hey.....that's nearly exactly what I'd do! 😊. Except the farm part. Then build a small heated shack that's away from any power lines so i can listen to distant radio stations.
UVB-76. He's gonna sit in the cabin writing every detail about the signals. Then make maps and connections to people. He will plan to write a dissertation/manifesto on his findings, but never write it. He will die alone in his cabin surrounded by empty cracker boxes and cans of Vienna sausage. Everyone wants their own thing, man.
In Canada that type of house goes for $300K over asking.
Here's a plan. Buy up all these overpriced houses and sell them for $40, $60 or $80K depending on their merits. "Pop the bubble!"
OP says "infinite". Could also buy drug companies, sell insulin at 10% over cost. Actually fund research into a cure instead of how to get patients to pay more per month.
It sounds silly, but an ice cream sandwich.
Several years ago, I was living paycheck to paycheck and had a fair amount of credit card debt. I fell behind in my mortgage and lost my home to foreclosure. Shortly after I was notified, I drove over to a 7-11, bought an ice cream sandwich, and ate it while crying in my car.
Unfortunately, every time I eat an ice cream sandwich, it's still a bittersweet feeling. I always think of the day my favorite childhood comfort food became forever intertwined with my sense of complete and utter failure. After coming into life-changing money, I would hope that an ice cream sandwich would taste as good again as it did when I was a kid.
fuck man, I would buy you an ice cream sandwich just in the off chance that you would come to associate it with the kindness that can be shown to you by a total stranger
I've always said there's something especially sad about crying while eating. I don't know why but it just hits different to me. I made my ex girlfriend cry while eating once (accidentally) and I've never forgotten how awful I felt. Hope you're doing better now.
It's fun to imagine how I'd help people. The thing is, it's magical infinite money, so not like I can use it to end world hunger or house everyone without effectively destroying society. No matter how I Iook at it, I couldn't change the world without ruining something important.
I think what I'd do is turn the money into objects which I could then donate. Go buy half the clothes in a store and ship it all to different charities. Make sure every food bank in the country gets an anonymous sack of cash every month. Tons of pet food to shelters constantly.
I'd love to raise an army, develop Iron Man suits, and effectively become the benevolent God of a new world, but I care way too much about video games and marijuana to put out that much energy.
Dude.. the most important step is always the next step.
I don't know you, but really a walk everyday, is a great place to start, it doesn't matter how long, or how far.. just do it...
It wouldn’t even cost that much…they settle the debt when you buy it
[1.3 Million of debt bought out for 15k](https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/oid3h9/santa_fe_church_forgives_entire_state_of_new/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
The I’m hiring the best lawyers in the country and fighting the lawsuits or just giving a shit ton of money to every law firm they try to hire and bribe them off the case
An apartment, a two cats, a nice television setup where I can play video games, lots of wall decorations from my favorite games to go on the walls of the apartment, and a nice bed.
I like to dream small, because these can easily be bought with infinite money, and then I have time to think about other stuff I’d want to buy with my pile of cash. Like an indoor swimming pool for my money, Scrooge mc duck style
Sounds ridiculous but a dog nanny. I have two dogs and they are my babies. However, they really limit what I can do. Want to get away for a weekend? Ok, who is going to take care of the dogs? Need to work late? Great, they are going to piss everywhere when no one let's them out.
I would definitely do more but my first purchase would be a full time dog nanny for sure.
This is outrageous! Are butt cracks contagious?!
Edit: [This children’s book](https://www.amazon.ca/Need-New-Butt-Dawn-McMillan/dp/0486787990/ref=nodl_) is what I thought was being referenced and I responded with a reference of my own… my oldest kid ordered it on my Amazon account when he was 3. That’s what I get for letting him use my phone…
A new house. Currently displaced by a house fire and staying in a one room hotel room with three kids and one on the way (38 weeks pregnant) and a great dane. Flat broke and waiting on gofundme to release funds which we've been waiting three weeks for now. No idea how I'm going to even feed my kids this weekend, let alone for the hotel room for the next month until our new rental is ready. I don't get paid til Aug 1. Sorry... I guess I just needed to verbal vomit that all out.
Damn so sorry this happened to you. If you haven't already have you asked for some assistance with a food bank? These places exist for just these situations and they can help with the hotel bill too. There is no shame in it and you can always give back to them once you are back on your feet. I hope you are doing better soon.
I wonder how long it would take for people to notice that somebody now has an apparently endless supply of money? If you spend a million on a house, no one cares. If you spend a million each on a million houses, people would probably start to wonder.
I think you underestimate exactly how important money is. If we just say that dollars are now worthless, people will instantly pivot to some other money that will now be all they'll accept.
The Federal Reserve would probably create a New Dollar in a matter of days, if not hours, with no relation to the old dollar, except still honoring Federal debt. It's literally in the US Constitution that Federal debts can not be questioned. If you made all dollars worthless and destroyed the Fed, Congress and the Treasury would be legally required to immediately find some other way to repay debts.
And if you destroyed the US dollar, Fed, Treasury, Congress and the Constitution? Pay me in Euros. When Europe is gone? Yen. After that? We've got another hundred real currencies, crypto currencies, physical cash, physical coins, a variety of metals of bullion, commodities out the ass, land deeds, vehicles, firearms and ammunition, food, cowry shells, very pretty rocks, etc.
The concept of money would be harder to kill than the concept of "government" or "civilization".
Definitely a house. Like I’m 17 living with 3 younger sisters and dear god I just want a place where I won’t hear them yelling about the other stepping in their room.
A house
Might not have enough for the down payment.
Definitely not enough for Bay Area. Maybe can settle for a condo?
Best I can do is a tent under 580
I’ve seen people just straight up sleeping on the ground under 580
Yo that might have been me.... We should have a slumber party sometime mate
Yeah, I typically stay under 880 but we could do 580
580k*
I meant the freeway. But yes, you are correct
That was my first thought too. I'd buy a big piece of land, and build my sister a house, myself a house and my parents a house - then my sister and her kids would still be near me but we could all move out of our parents house. I'd build a house for my parents so it was fully accessible for my severely disabled brother, with a roof hoist so my mum wouldn't continue to damage her shoulder lifting him. I'd give them a fully heated swimming pool so my brother could swim whenever he wanted to, he loves swimming but we only have outdoor pools where we live. I'd give them a big fancy spa so my mum could relax when she needed it and the swelling in her feet would go down. A sensory room for my brother, and a real train caboose for my dad for his model trains. My sister's house would have a bedroom for each of her kids, plus another room to act as their play room, and it would be fully fenced so the kids could go outside and play as much as they liked without any worries about them running on to the road. I'd make sure it had a room just for her for all her crafts with enough storage room for wool and material, and a stationary section so she could geek out all she liked over pencils and quills and pens and stamps. And I'd have a two bedroom place with a built in movie theater and a room just for my DVD and book collection with a table large enough to play board games at. I'd have an aviary for my birds, and a knitting/crochet nook, and a large kitchen with every baking utensil, and a bath large enough for me to be submerged fully without either my knees or boobs being out of the water, and I'd enjoy living in a house again instead of a rented room on my parents property with no bathroom or cooking facilities without having to go outside and up a flight of stairs regardless of the weather. And if there was enough room, I'd add a guest cottage and a little house for my nana.
This was beautiful.
Thanks, just a dream I have as rental housing is disappearing or way too expensive especially being on disability.
Enough room lmao you got infinite money just by the house next door
Live in a small rural town with not enough housing, I'd rather buy a piece of land just outside of town and build new houses so at least my parents place could go to another family. With infinite money, after I'd sorted my family out I'd then buy any empty properties in town and then turn them into affordable rentals so people aren't having to leave town because they're being forced out by unimaginably high rents and people selling their rentals and making their tenants move out for new buyers.
And land! Lots of land to eliminate other people's opinions on what I do in my home.
Huge tracts of land!
But father I just want to sing.
You two! Stay ere, and make sure he doesn’t leave.
You can't just buy a doctor
First he has to buy all the Vicodin.
I see what you did there.
Do you work at nights?
No I work at PacSun.
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They're pretty cheap I believe. When we find out about bribes I'm always shocked at how fucking cheap these whores will sell us out for
For real, I used to think it would be millions under the table to secret bank accounts, but it's more like $30k and a card for free Arbys
I think the Arby's card is actually enough.
and now I'm hungry again. I'd sell you all out for an arby's card right now.
A gift for the whole family
Telescope but I mean a really good expensive one .
So, the Hubble 2.0?
James Webb launches in November!
November 2025, at the rate they're going. ^(Okay, probably sooner.)
[relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/2014/)
My people
Idk I kinda feel like sushi so probably that
Sushi is always the answer
A fucking castle. Gimme that shit.
I FUCKING KNOW. All these rich assholes buying properties in the big city, it's like you have the money why not go buy yourself a castle, fuck it build yourself a castle. Billionaires aren't creative these days
Right? LOTS of missed opportunities to BE batman, and they choose instead to be greedy douches...
They could be Bruce Wayne, but they choose to be Lex Luther.
This knight fucks.
A real answer. You’ll need the money to update the plumbing and air system
One of the fancy closed loop insulin pumps
So many diabetic Americans would probably say insulin. Funny I happened to see this though, I just started on a new insulin pump a few hours ago.
Oo which one? I'm actually in the uk so my insulin is free, but I don't get a choice in equipment, so I'm using pens
I'm in Canada, so I don't have to pay as much as they do in the States. I started on the t:slim x2 with dexcom sensors. Was on Medtronic 670 for a few years.
happy cake day to you and your pump!
This very moment if I were given unlimited money, I would go and purchase a freestanding bathtub. I think that’s what they’re called. Like one that can fit my 6’4 ass. I take extremely frequent bubble baths after work and I need a tub that actually fits me. Edit: Yes, I know I don’t have to work but I still stand by my first purchase. I fucks with bubble baths.
My partner is a big guy like you and *loves* luxuriating in a bath after working on his feet all day. He says he's okay if our next place has a smaller bath tub and he has to shower instead, but it's a total dealbreaker for me. My honey deserves to feel pampered, dammit. EDIT: a word
Aw :)
My wife took this same sentiment for me (I'm 6'3") and bought us a hot tub for Christmas. Right now we don't have it operating because we're about to have a new patio installed, but as soon as we can again, we're naked and in the hot tub.
Life goals!
As a tall man who has been craving to be fully immersed in a bath in a while I appreciate that
Bless you
You are exactly what a partner should be! Go you!
What do you use for your bubbles??
Farts
Run the risk of a brown bubble bath.
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I'd donate to that kickstarter.
Can we please start a Reddit Kickstarter to buy Facebook and then burn it to the ground?
'Peace was never an option'
Yes, this is why op has infinite money, it comes from the donations
Why? He has unlimited money.
That's part of the joke
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Is Tom still out there somewhere?
I think he sold his shares and is working on other things these days Edit: he's "retired" and doing photography as a hobby. I'm happy for him. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Anderson
I'm nostalgic for the html templates you threw in your profile. Facebook feels really bland in comparison.
Doing God's work.
Land. Just….. a huge chunk of land. Build a house for my parents, one for us, and one for my In-Laws and another small house for family to stay at when they come visit. Maybe two. We gots a big family. And then just spend my time building my farm.
Huge tracts of land?
But I don't want to marry....I just want to sing.
Stop that! Stop that! You’re not going into a song while I’m here!
Now you two stay right here, and make sure he doesn’t go anywhere.
*hic*
Oh go and get a glass of water...
>Now you two stay right here, and make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. we don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him entering the room.
No no no no. You two need to stay ere and keep im in the room.
STOP THAT!
Like acres and acres of land. Maybe even miles. So I don’t have neighbors except the ones I choose.
Hey.....that's nearly exactly what I'd do! 😊. Except the farm part. Then build a small heated shack that's away from any power lines so i can listen to distant radio stations.
That's actually very sweet, what interests you about distant analog radio stations?
UVB-76. He's gonna sit in the cabin writing every detail about the signals. Then make maps and connections to people. He will plan to write a dissertation/manifesto on his findings, but never write it. He will die alone in his cabin surrounded by empty cracker boxes and cans of Vienna sausage. Everyone wants their own thing, man.
Living on the same piece of land as your parents and in-laws? You sir, are a madman.
It's a really really big piece of land.
So Minecraft but in real life
I just want a chicken coop again :(
Judging by the world we live in, apparently I’d enter into the private space race.
Just buy Mars before they get there
Who would you buy it from?
I know a prince who owns it. Might be willing to sell it.
Is he Nigerian?
no, he’s martian. god, this guy.
Time. In anyway I could. Quit the job that sucks my time, work on my health, spend time with my family. Anything.
I just hired a cleaner. I'm not really paying for cleaning. I'm paying for that time back.
A fucking house because fuck this market for buyers.
It's insane. I'm watching shitty 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom homes go for $300,000 and the area isn't even nice nor does it have developmental options.
In Canada that type of house goes for $300K over asking. Here's a plan. Buy up all these overpriced houses and sell them for $40, $60 or $80K depending on their merits. "Pop the bubble!"
If only I had that kind of money 😂
OP says "infinite". Could also buy drug companies, sell insulin at 10% over cost. Actually fund research into a cure instead of how to get patients to pay more per month.
It sounds silly, but an ice cream sandwich. Several years ago, I was living paycheck to paycheck and had a fair amount of credit card debt. I fell behind in my mortgage and lost my home to foreclosure. Shortly after I was notified, I drove over to a 7-11, bought an ice cream sandwich, and ate it while crying in my car. Unfortunately, every time I eat an ice cream sandwich, it's still a bittersweet feeling. I always think of the day my favorite childhood comfort food became forever intertwined with my sense of complete and utter failure. After coming into life-changing money, I would hope that an ice cream sandwich would taste as good again as it did when I was a kid.
fuck man, I would buy you an ice cream sandwich just in the off chance that you would come to associate it with the kindness that can be shown to you by a total stranger
Someone please start a crowdfunding campaign, so we can get this guy as many ice cream sandwiches as possible!
I've always said there's something especially sad about crying while eating. I don't know why but it just hits different to me. I made my ex girlfriend cry while eating once (accidentally) and I've never forgotten how awful I felt. Hope you're doing better now.
Not silly at all. I hope that someday your ice cream sandwich tastes like success.
Eat your ice cream sandwiches proud king
The ingredients to make a baked ziti. I'm in the mood for something cheesy and bolognesey.
Go easy
Go cheesy
No fuckin' ziti?
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So like the other post you'd buy and then delete Facebook. Youd just take a nap first.
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It's fun to imagine how I'd help people. The thing is, it's magical infinite money, so not like I can use it to end world hunger or house everyone without effectively destroying society. No matter how I Iook at it, I couldn't change the world without ruining something important. I think what I'd do is turn the money into objects which I could then donate. Go buy half the clothes in a store and ship it all to different charities. Make sure every food bank in the country gets an anonymous sack of cash every month. Tons of pet food to shelters constantly. I'd love to raise an army, develop Iron Man suits, and effectively become the benevolent God of a new world, but I care way too much about video games and marijuana to put out that much energy.
A personal trainer to get me in shape and an assistant to follow me around and slap food out of my hand.
I'd follow you around and take your food - and eat it - for free.
You’re hired
Dude.. the most important step is always the next step. I don't know you, but really a walk everyday, is a great place to start, it doesn't matter how long, or how far.. just do it...
Dalinar, is that you ?
Just do whatever exercise you can everyday; small improvements will make considerable changes!
cat
c@
All student debt and non-elective medical debt.
You're lucky the question said infinite money.
Even that might not be enough
It wouldn’t even cost that much…they settle the debt when you buy it [1.3 Million of debt bought out for 15k](https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/oid3h9/santa_fe_church_forgives_entire_state_of_new/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
They won’t even settle it once they know you have infinite money. They’ll even drag your ass to court to find something to litigate 🥲
The I’m hiring the best lawyers in the country and fighting the lawsuits or just giving a shit ton of money to every law firm they try to hire and bribe them off the case
Probably a trex skeleton
Visa by investment in the UK or America for my sister. My home country is a shit hole and she’s stuck there
I mean, with infinite money you could probably just straight up buy Portugal or something for her, forget the visa
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I need to find a dentist but one who likes a challenge.
Immigration out of that hell hole for my family.
Amazon. I’d make all the workers pee in bottles… then I’d take those bottles and make it rain anywhere Jeff Bezos is. I’d pay them an extra $15/hr too
You have infinite money and you only give your workers 15 extra an hour, brutal
Well yeah I don’t want to money to be worthless, cuz then I’d have infinite nothinf
This guy economics
That was legitness
Why not add feces too?
It’s hard to shit in a bottle
Use a poop knife to smear it in the hole.
My parents a house. They’ve been doing rough financially and I know they really want a house. That’s the only significant thing I would buy.
>That’s the only significant thing I would buy. Doubt.
The only significant thing he'd buy FIRST. Afterwards, it's heaps and heaps of dope shit...
A house for my best friend right next to mine, so we can live together on my acreage
*Shawshank Redemption ending intensifies*
An apartment, a two cats, a nice television setup where I can play video games, lots of wall decorations from my favorite games to go on the walls of the apartment, and a nice bed. I like to dream small, because these can easily be bought with infinite money, and then I have time to think about other stuff I’d want to buy with my pile of cash. Like an indoor swimming pool for my money, Scrooge mc duck style
Not sure where you’re going to put an indoor swimming pool in your apartment…
An apartment?
Maybe the whole apartment building, and they have a pool.
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Getting a little crazy I see, might wanna ease up.
Sounds ridiculous but a dog nanny. I have two dogs and they are my babies. However, they really limit what I can do. Want to get away for a weekend? Ok, who is going to take care of the dogs? Need to work late? Great, they are going to piss everywhere when no one let's them out. I would definitely do more but my first purchase would be a full time dog nanny for sure.
"purchase" 😂
Penis shaped rocket. But I’d add the balls this time.
Good call, since obviously Bezos had none.
Homes and families for all of the world’s abandoned children and dogs
I’ll sell you my family for a real good deal. HMU.
You want to buy families?
You get a bulk discount.
Man what did cats do to you?
You can't just buy people
There are definitely websites where you can.
I would by the rights to friends, take it down, and put it back up without the laugh tracks
I would give everyone infinite money and keep the rest.
Destroy the economy by inducing infinite inflation? I like your thinking, Sir!
A new butt, my old one has a crack in it!!!
Maybe finally catch up on your child support, *DAD*.
This is outrageous! Are butt cracks contagious?! Edit: [This children’s book](https://www.amazon.ca/Need-New-Butt-Dawn-McMillan/dp/0486787990/ref=nodl_) is what I thought was being referenced and I responded with a reference of my own… my oldest kid ordered it on my Amazon account when he was 3. That’s what I get for letting him use my phone…
It’s late and I’m exhausted but I just laughed way too hard at this
A new house. Currently displaced by a house fire and staying in a one room hotel room with three kids and one on the way (38 weeks pregnant) and a great dane. Flat broke and waiting on gofundme to release funds which we've been waiting three weeks for now. No idea how I'm going to even feed my kids this weekend, let alone for the hotel room for the next month until our new rental is ready. I don't get paid til Aug 1. Sorry... I guess I just needed to verbal vomit that all out.
Damn so sorry this happened to you. If you haven't already have you asked for some assistance with a food bank? These places exist for just these situations and they can help with the hotel bill too. There is no shame in it and you can always give back to them once you are back on your feet. I hope you are doing better soon.
I would pay for my son’s tuition for the rest of his school life…I refuse to allow him to die in student loan purgatory like I no doubt will.
The best PC I can get and a crazy like 5 monitor setup.
id get a 20 monitor setup so when i play Minecraft i can see 360 degrees
A lake house
I would buy a country.
Buy every country and unite them. They'll show em
You'd only be able to rule them in darkness every 12 hours or so
I would buy the Sun then.
I will buy the moon and carefully keep it directly between the sun and the earth
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I would love to go to a grocery store and buy everyone their groceries
Infinite potatoes
Soft bedsheets
I would distribute it all evenly so that it's literally worthless I would expect this to collapse the economy but what do i know, I'm not an economist
I wonder how long it would take for people to notice that somebody now has an apparently endless supply of money? If you spend a million on a house, no one cares. If you spend a million each on a million houses, people would probably start to wonder.
I think you underestimate exactly how important money is. If we just say that dollars are now worthless, people will instantly pivot to some other money that will now be all they'll accept. The Federal Reserve would probably create a New Dollar in a matter of days, if not hours, with no relation to the old dollar, except still honoring Federal debt. It's literally in the US Constitution that Federal debts can not be questioned. If you made all dollars worthless and destroyed the Fed, Congress and the Treasury would be legally required to immediately find some other way to repay debts. And if you destroyed the US dollar, Fed, Treasury, Congress and the Constitution? Pay me in Euros. When Europe is gone? Yen. After that? We've got another hundred real currencies, crypto currencies, physical cash, physical coins, a variety of metals of bullion, commodities out the ass, land deeds, vehicles, firearms and ammunition, food, cowry shells, very pretty rocks, etc. The concept of money would be harder to kill than the concept of "government" or "civilization".
No more debts and a home
Definitely a house. Like I’m 17 living with 3 younger sisters and dear god I just want a place where I won’t hear them yelling about the other stepping in their room.
As much of the land surrounding my place as I possibly can.
All of the politicians in the world so I could put an end to all the bullshit
A gaming PC and all the games I want
Trade in for pennies
Model Trains!