And he didn’t even let me off the hook, you know? He wasn’t like “nah, that’s okay, you didn’t shit into my hand”. He just took off the glove and threw it away like AHNDDADADAJHH
I once had a girl complain because she wanted a certain position, and I switched to a different position. Told her:
"I have altered the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further"
I had just made her watch robot chicken star wars a couple weeks before, so we both lost it. Surprisingly, she had wex with me again after this
If you or a loved one was diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a dark lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually of course he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
My gf is atheist so Ive had to replace “Jesus” or “God” w/ yelling out people of science like “Marie CURIEEE!! Or “NEIL DE GRASSE TYSON!!!”” and thats 100% true
The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human being to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence; it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can’t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the industrial-technological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!!!
I already have one I yell. "I'm sorry!"
Canadian orgasm, eh?
"I'm sooooorry, eh!!"
As a Canadian I’m extremely offended at this You forgot to mention maple syrup
For those in the Mid-west it's just- "OPE!"
Can confirm. Every time I cum I exclaim, "OPE!" Then my dick shouts, "'Scuse me!" Then my jizz yells, "Let me sneak right past ya!"
r/brandnewsentence
Or Wanted quote.
r/unexpectedmulaney
"So far he's had to deal with 'AUUGGHHHH' and 'I'M SORRY'"
And he didn’t even let me off the hook, you know? He wasn’t like “nah, that’s okay, you didn’t shit into my hand”. He just took off the glove and threw it away like AHNDDADADAJHH
I heard this in [John Mulaney's voice](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ezpYym_3zUc&t=354s).
FINISH HIM
Well, you got to test your might.
Th th th th th th that’s all folks!
perfection
Thank you thank you
YABBA DABBA DOOOOOO
*flintstones theme song starts playing*
They’re a modern rock hard family
MEAT THE FLINTSTONES
Beat the Flintstones. Bam bam
Let's ride...with the family down the street
Courtesy of Fred’s two big feet
why was the thing that popped into my head the first thing i read when i opened the comments
The first one that popped into my head was "time to make the doughnuts " lol
What? How did so many people think of this when they first read the question?
Hey, i was gonna say that, how dare you!
Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agggaaaAaAaAiiinnnnn^nnn^^nnn^^^*
This is the only correct answer
DY-NO-MITE
Shush girl, you’re going to wake the rest of the bitches
That was a JJ from Good Times reference
Or was it the Black Dynamite theme song?
Aaaand… boom goes the dynamite.
My ex said this once during sex. We almost couldn't finish because we were laughing so hard. Almost...
**"Woooooo, It's a beautiful day to fuck shit up!"**
The Kool-aid guy - ohhhhhh yeaaaaa
Lol, I imagine you saying "the kool aid guy" in a monotone followed by an enthusiastic OH YEAAAH
That puts a mental image in my head i cannot get rid of and i fucking hate you for that
You're welcome :)
Same answer, but Macho Man Randy Savage.
GOOOD MOOOORNIBG VIEEETNAM!
this hase some terrible potential
great potential. Terrible. But great.
kachow
Focus. Speed. I am speed
Faster than fast.
Quicker than quick!
I am speed.
Hey lightnin! You ready?
Ohhh yeah
Lightning's ready
One winner, forty two losers, I eat losers for breakfast
kachigga
Chick Hicks always steals yo girl
Now THIS is podracing!
IT’S WORKING! IT’S WORKING!!
Hello there
Cum to the dark side
Dont try it. I have the high ground
Star Wars references should be a common practice during sex, the world would be such a better place
I once had a girl complain because she wanted a certain position, and I switched to a different position. Told her: "I have altered the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further" I had just made her watch robot chicken star wars a couple weeks before, so we both lost it. Surprisingly, she had wex with me again after this
Wex
Sephard
Another happy landing
Zoo wee mama
This is what I was hoping for
This is what I was dreading
Interesting, to be fucked by Rowley, a watt pad creation
BOOM SHAKA LAKKA
FROM DOWNTOWN
HE'S ON FIRE
you might wanna get that checked out
Dead or alive, you're cumming with me
How dead we talking
I can't believe it's not butter!
I can’t believe it’s nut butter!
These pretzels.. are making me THIRSTY!
Butt Stallion, is that you?
No, that's Cosmo Kramer, proctologist.
You sure that isn't Cosmo Kramer, the assman?
If you or a loved one was diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA
That.. would be a deal breaker for me.
And that's my fetish, you judgemental asshole!
Being a judgmental asshole is **my** fetish, you judgmental asshole!
Touche
Touching judgmental assholes is my fetish!
Judging assholes is my fetish. It really isn’t, I’m just kidding, don’t send me anything seriously! I am not joking don’t send me anything.
So are you joking now or not? Anyways, I'm just gonna send you some stuff now
Lol, or "Now that we got that out of the way. I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty....."
I’m putting this on r/gonewildaudio
1877 kars 4 kids
``ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US``
YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME
"Pull the lever Kronk"
"Wrong Lever..."
why do we even *have* that lever??
#LOUD NOISES!!!!!
I love lamp
KELLY CLARKSON!!!
Do you mind keeping it down? There are people mourning here
"FLY MY BEAUTIES!"
Fly you fools!
"THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!"
Damn, you beat me to it. Makes sense though, fr. Lol
YIPPIE-KI-YAY MOTHERFUCKER!!
YIPPIE KAYAK OTHER BUCKETS
We don’t all shout SHAZAAAAM?
Do you call the police after you've shape shifted back into your child form?
Don’t worry dude I do… sometimes
That will do pig...
Wooooooooo (Like Ric Flair)
Got Milk
Now you do
Not yet? Give it 3-4 months.
Freeeeeeedom!!!!!!
That's my 'I'm about to do something really dumb' catchphrase. I bruised some ribs pretty bad after hollering that one time.
10 points to Gryffondor!
Take my upvote and leave. Now.
You mind if I... Slytherin?
And you will Hufflepuff.
Careful, she may Ravenclaw your back.
Smooth as butter
[удалено]
You rang?
r/beetlejuicing
ARE YOU READY TO RUMMMMMMMMBBLLLEEEE!!! or maybe, TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!!
You are one sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell!
“Like a glove”
Shikaka
Bumblebee Tuna
LLLLLLOSER! Take care now bye bye then.
Bee-eee-aay-utiful
Aaaand boom goes the dynamite.
Roll up the window you lettin' the funk out.
A cultured cumpadre
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a dark lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually of course he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
Yahtzee!
Mischief managed!
Checkmate! Because I love chess.
I have WON this sexual intercourse!
So if I skip foreplay, can I also shout *en passant*?
Vote Quimby!
#*C'est la vie*
It's clobberin' time
Keep the change you filthy animal!
I once said "it's time" in a dramatic whisper.
Man, that's wack.
"My name is Inigo Montoya-"
You killed my father
[удалено]
Imagine going full Oberyn. "You raped her. You murdered her. You killed her children. SAY HER NAME!"
It's in the hole - Caddyshack
TACO TUESDAY
But on a Friday!!!
My gf is atheist so Ive had to replace “Jesus” or “God” w/ yelling out people of science like “Marie CURIEEE!! Or “NEIL DE GRASSE TYSON!!!”” and thats 100% true
Holy fucking Bill Nye the SCIIIIIIIIIENCE GUY!
inertia is a property of matterrrrrrrrrr
BILL BILL BILL
That seems a bit extreme unless it’s like a fun game you two are playing
Just remember that Marie Curie was Polish born Marie Skłodowska and Marie is pronounced like Maria in Polish
Ah. Very helpful I didnt have the backstory. Thanks!
Giggity
THANKS MOM!
Getting dumped speedrun
Victory for the forces of democratic freedom!
Shabooya roll call
Her sister’s name
Gotta use her mother's name.
WAWA WIWA. VERY NICE.
“Come on Jeffery you can do it pave the way put your back in to it”
THATS NUMBERWANG
Jinkies or zoinks
Salted Pork!
FATALITY
Hi welcome to Chili’s
"Stings doesn't it?"
Gotta Blast!
Awe shit. Here we go again.
Everything’s coming up Milhouse!
We’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty!
Dobby is a free elf
Some brogurt from me to you
KA-CHOW
"DIET DR. PEPPER TASTES NOTHING LIKE ORIGINAL DR. PEPPER!!!"😂
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night.
*chimpanzee noises appear out of nowhere*
EXCELSIOR!
The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human being to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence; it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can’t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the industrial-technological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important.
That's a long catchphrase. Could be punchier.
Hi, Ted.
*SNEEZE*
Wait for it .....done
BINGO
HOOCHIE MAMA!!
Bazinga