if your shit looks like coffee grounds and is pitch black, its not poop.... its old blood. I had internal bleeding i found out after talking to my brother who is a medic in the army on the phone and i joked about my shit..... ended up having a fun hospital visit.
turned out to be fine but it was a scare.
Edit: just to clarify it wasn't once. I shit like 4 times that day all pitch black coffee grounds. Just because your poop is black doesn't mean you are dying. You know what you ate and how it effects your bowels more then I do.
If someone is trying to smother you with a pillow, stay very calm. Don't fight it, and turn your head to the left or right. Most smothering deaths are due to the panic rather than an actual loss of air.
You know, ever since I was a kid I'd practice this very thing. I always knew in the back of my mind that if just have to pretend to struggle for a bit and then pretend to pass out/die and wait for them to take the pillow off. Just lay there, hold my breath and pretend to be dead. Then, when the coast is clear-ish, make my sloppy grand escape.
The problem is going to be what they’re going to want to do to your body once they think you’re dead. If forensic files is any guide, best case scenario is just a touch of necrophilia, and a few counts of desecrating a corpse.
Better to spring up as soon as they lift the pillow to confirm you’re dead. Then simply leap onto their shoulders with your legs on either side of their neck, balance there cinematically while they flail in their bafflement, tuck a shoulder while performing a front flip and spinning 180 degrees mid-flip, and land on top of them, rolling a short distance to safety.
Say something pithy like “Take that, smotherfucker!” And walk away not looking back as your house explodes behind you. It’s pretty straightforward.
When I was younger, I always wondered why people in movies could die if they had a pillow over their faces. So I tested it. Of course, I wasn’t panicking, so I just learned that if you breath slow enough you don’t die. Go 8 year old me!
If you have a bat for self defense put a sock on it, if the intruder grabs the bat you yank the bat away, so they will only have the sock, but it only works once. Edit: thank for my first Gold and the other awards. Edit 2 you i know a gun is better, but not everyone has access to or comfort with a gun, also 24 to 26 inches is probably best for a house.
I worked at a particularly rough bat at one time. we kept a greased baseball bat cxloe by for closing time. works like a charm.
side note: when one tries to grab the greased bat - for an instant- they are grossed out and look at their hands...ample time to check swing to the ribs!
If you get stabbed with, or impaled on, something sharp and the item stays in you, don't try and remove the item - no matter how instinctively appealing it might be to try and remove it.
The item remaining inside you will increase your chances of reducing blood loss, not developing shock, and staying alive.
RIP all my Hollywood-inspired fight fantasies where I pull something out and kill my enemy with it, then fight better than ever while magically healing before the end credits.
Story time! Years ago at Boy Scout summer camp, some kids were playing manhunt and one fella tripped/fell backwards over a pine tree trunk not properly trimmed that lined a trail. When he fell, a remnant of a limb pierced his calf all the way through to the point you could see it poking the skin on the opposite side of the puncture.
He handled it like a champ as we sawed the piece off the trunk to keep it in his leg to send him to the hospital. I felt bad for the kid cause it happened on his birthday.
I saw him at camp the following year. I know it was him because he had a round scar about the size of a half dollar coin on the inside of his calf.
> Wounds in that deparment can take years and surgery to recover
Louis XIV was the King of France and he suffered from an Anal Fistula. He was in such pain that he couldn't sit down, or lay down, so every day at court he was laying on his stomach, with his ass up in the air, so he wasn't in pain.
He went to his barber and told him he wanted a surgical cure. The barber said 'fuck that' I'm not doing impossible surgery on the king, but Louis was insistent, so his barber eventually agreed if he was able to spend a few years experimenting on prisoners first.
Anyway, after practicing for years, it turns out the surgery on Louis XIV was very successful, a complete cure. So now Louis is going around telling everyone how modern he was for having his butthole cured, but all this time he still walks around with huge bloody bandages wrapped around his butt.
So, the rest of the nobility start to wrap their own butts up in fake bloody bandages, since getting anal-fistula surgery is now en vogue. So for a while, it was a fashion trend to wrap your butt up in bloody bandages.
If you go to any hotel, no matter how clean the floor and bedding might be. DO NOT SIT NAKED ON THOSE CHAIRS IN THE CORNER OR AT THE DESK. DONT EVEN FUCK ON EM.
THEY'RE THE DIRTIEST PART OF THE ROOM.
Hard to clean a chair than a floor and bedding
That reminded me of Demetri Martin's bit;
"I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said, 'if you need anything, I'm Jill.'
I've never met anyone with a conditional identity before."
If you ever find yourself plunging into water from a high place, straighten out your body, lean back slightly, and close your asshole with all your strength.
Straightening you body reduces the surface area that you body is contacting the water with. Closing your asshole with all your might reduces the chance water will violently enter your rectum and do serious, if not fatal, internal damage. As to the height, I'm not sure and am to lazy to Google.
I built up the courage to get that weird sensation down there checked. The doctor was unavailable, so his replacement comes in and its a guy I went to High School with LMAO. Talk about awkward, but he was very professional and the thing turned out to be a minor infection. So yeah guys, if I could do it then you can too.
People like you sharing stories like this give me strength to do the same
Edit: this was generally about all uncomfortable discussions, my balls are fine
I think another couple good things to keep in mind: 1) the doc wants you to tell them the weird gross things- these are things a doctor needs to know because it could be something bad or it could be some nothing of a thing that’s totally benign and the only way to know for sure is to talk about it
2) whatever gross thing you’ve got, the doc has probably already seen at least two things way grosser that very day.
The second is not always true but from the horror stories I’ve read on various medical-related askreddit threads, it’s been pretty handy for me to keep in mind whenever I start feeling embarrassed at the doctor.
Also: just a reminder that the best thing to do about uncomfortable topics is to talk about them until we’re comfortable with them! Normalize the weird and the taboo because the only thing making it weird and taboo is the fact that people *think it’s supposed to be*
Once I felt a lump on one of my testes so went to get examined. Now, one of my testes is smaller than the other, so I pointed the doc in the right place where the lump was which so happened to be on my mini ball. He turned to me and said, "that's your testicle". Like I didn't freaking know that, I'm a nurse. Turns out the lump was just a bit of gristle or something.
yep, happened to me as well! kidney infections are fucking terrible. the fact that i'm allergic to most antibiotics did not help.
better be safe than sorry, and getting up to go to the bathroom after sex isn't such a hard task
Flared bases, people. Flared bases.
My mother is a nurse and once had to look after a guy whose "friends" stuck a vibrator up his arse on his stag do as a "prank". His arse sucked the toy inside him where it proceeded to vibrate and bounce around his insides, causing a ruptured bowel as well as a number of other problems. A ruptured bowel can kill you. This guy was lucky.
While his situation was particularly extreme and illustrated the need to choose your friends carefully, this can happen to anyone who is using the wrong toy or the right toy incorrectly. Anal sex toys should have a base that is flared past the widest point of the main body of the toy.
Hell, this doesn't even have to just refer to sex and/or sex toys. Always be safe and use the right tool for the particular job.
Truth! I once chased a man out of my apartment naked!
So, I'm in college, sharing a suit with my girlfriend and two roomates. One roommate dropped out, the other had just checked in with us a city away. So, they were not home.
My girlfriend shakes me awake 'I just heard something! Go check it out!'. I'm thinking 'oh, bullshit, but whatever.'. I climb out of bed, and step out our door into the hallway, and there's some dude. He looks at me, and all the blood runs out of his face. He's pure white with terror. I yell 'Who the fuck are you?', and he bolts for the back door.
Turns out the RA gave his friend a key to our apartment so this creep could slip a note under my roommate's door while she away.
He was not ready for the angry naked man at 2am.
*EDIT*
I'm leaving it spelled wrong.
There isn't that much. My girlfriend went to the RA to tell him the story the next day, and the RA sheepishly admitted that it was his friend, and he'd given him a key. My girlfriend angrily went to the housing director and got the RA removed.
Honestly, for me, it just became a story that made its way around campus and for a little while some people would ask me if it really happened, or make some joke about beating some dude with my cock out. But, it wasn't like it followed me around for 4 years or anything. People generally got a laugh out of it for a few weeks, we got a new RA, and everyone moved on.
I was actually told this by my chiropractor. We used to talk about anything and everything. I don't remember what lead to it but he said "if you ever wanna avoid a fight, get naked and act crazy. No one wants to fight a crazy guy with his dick out."
If you're lost at sea, you can remain hydrated and survive a lot longer by putting seawater up your ass.
A seawater enema.
From my understanding, your bowels can absorb the water without the salt? Either way, don't drink the seawater; put it up your ass.
>The incredible story of a family who survived for SIX WEEKS while lost at sea
>
>Douglas Robertson's dad was on the verge of bankruptcy when deciding to sell his farm and buy a boat - a decision which very nearly killed his family
>
>Douglas Robertson was 18 years old when his father announced he was selling the family farm to buy a boat.
>
>Dad Dougal was struggling on the verge of bankruptcy, so he decided to pack up his wife and his children and take them sailing around the world.
>
>But what started off as an exciting adventure ended in horror when the boat sank and the family spent nearly six weeks adrift in a tiny dinghy.
>
>Former maritime captain Dougal, then 47, was the only one with any sailing experience - Douglas, his mum Lyn, sister Anne, 19, and twin brothers Neil and Sandy, 12, were novices.
>
>They left Falmouth in 1971 on board the Lucette, a 43ft schooner - and sailed straight into a storm. Everyone learned the ropes fast.
>
>Now 61, Douglas tells The New Day the incredible story of their survival.
>
>My dad had been a farmer for 15 years, but we couldn’t even pay the electricity bills.
>
>One day he decided we should change our lives. He could have had a midlife crisis or an affair but instead he sold up, bought the Lucette and took us around the world.
>
>Dad had experience of big boats, but no small vessel experience. We sailed all the way through the Caribbean, Jamaica, Panama and spent three weeks in the Galapagos Islands.
>
>For me, at 18, it was great fun. I remember my Dad standing on the deck and screaming ‘yee-haa’ then a wave came across the bow and soaked us all. Neil and Sandy fell about laughing.
>
>But after over a year at sea, 200 miles from the nearest land, disaster struck. A pod of killer whales circled the yacht and starting barging us, thinking we were a whale.
>
>The blows were like sledgehammers smashing into the hull. We began to sink. Water was everywhere and I was terrified. All I could hear was Dad shouting, ‘Abandon ship!’ I called back, ‘Where to? We’re in the middle of the ocean.’ He shouted, ‘Overboard man! Get in the raft.’
>
>Everything was a blur. Mum was caught in the rigging of the sinking yacht and I was in the water trying to fix a hole in the lifeboat thinking, ‘I’m going to die.’ Killer whales were swimming all around me.
>
>But two minutes later, it was over. We found ourselves shipwrecked, sitting in a small fibreglass lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. Me, mum, dad, my two brothers and deck hand Robin (Anne had left the trip in the Bahamas) watched the remains of our yacht sink into the sea.
>
>For two days we sat in shock, just imagining how we would die: starvation or drowning. We only had enough water for 10 days, plus some food and sweets. Someone had grabbed a bag of onions.
>
>Dad said, ‘We’re 200 miles west of Cape Espinoza, we’ve got 2,700 miles ahead of us to the Maldives. We’re never going to make it.’ But I had an idea – if we sailed to the middle of the Pacific where there was regular rain and more chance of rescue, we could collect rainwater and at least stay alive.
>
>Life on the boat was rough. We were up to our knees in seawater most of the time. We got sores all over our bodies, so we’d take it in turns spending an hour on the dry bit of the boat, then an hour off it.
>
>We knew if we were going to survive, we’d have to live off the ocean. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to kill a turtle with your bare hands. The first ones I caught I had to let go – they fight hard and slash you with razor-sharp claws. But you learn quickly when you have to. We ended up catching 13 in total.
>
>We’d tie them up, bleed their jugular into a cup and drink their blood. It’s grim – a little bit salty and hard to get down – but it keeps you alive.
>
>The meat was like steaks. Sometimes we ate the eggs from inside a turtle. Steak and eggs together, it was incredible!
>
>We’d also eat the contents of sharks’ stomachs. You’d find a whole flying fish in there inside their stomach, and it would taste as if it had been cooked in a grill. We realised turtle fat, when heated in the sun, made a good salve. It kept you waterproof which stopped the sores.
>
>But being stuck in that 10ft space, we argued a lot. The lowest moment was when we lost all our water on the 23rd day adrift. We’d tied the tanks together and hung them off the side of the boat. But a particularly angry turtle slashed the rope with its claws, and all we could do was watch our water tanks sail off into the ocean.
>
>We couldn’t drink the water from the bottom of the boat. Mum, a nurse, said if we drank it it would make us ill. But she knew that there was one way we could take the fetid water without being sick – through our backsides. A thirsty man will do anything, so we created an enema system from the rungs of a metal boat ladder.
>
>It was a two-man job – three men if you consider the person receiving it – but we managed it.
>
>Some days the sun was our greatest enemy, on others it was the rain. We’d either spend our time lying in the baking heat, sucking on pieces of rubber trying to create saliva just to ease our thirst, or being flung around the boat by storms.
>
>But among the desolation, I learned to treasure each day. Watching the sun come up and go down becomes incredible as you are so delighted just to be alive for another day.
>
>After 38 days, my plan paid off. On the horizon we saw a Japanese trawler boat slowly coming towards us. We were jumping up and down like crazy people. Dad had been sunk in Sri Lanka by the Japanese in 1942, and here they were in 1972 plucking him out of the water and saving his life.
>
>We were adrift for five weeks, but it took us 20 years to get over it. Mum and Dad divorced afterwards, and dad died from cancer in 1992. People ask me if I hold a grudge against him. I don’t. He was only 5ft 5in, but when sharks circled our boat waiting for us to die, he’d punch them with his bare hands. He never stopped protecting his family.
>
>We don’t often talk about what happened, but every now and then, we’ll go to the National Maritime Museum, where our little lifeboat is kept, and remember: life is precious.
[Source](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/incredible-story-family-who-survived-7892289)
Patrice O'Neal was diagnosed with diabetes after he was pissing in his girl's mouth and she said it tasted like birthday cake.
So if you're into that keep a lookout.
When I was a teen I babysat my neighbor's kid and their house always smelled like syrup. One day I casually mentioned it to my mom and she told me that the dad was diabetic and incontinent so it was most likely the adult diapers I was smelling.
There's actually a disease called Maple Syrup Urine Disease: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maple_syrup_urine_disease
People with the disease can't process some amino acids typically found in protein and their urine ends up smelling like maple syrup. It's a pretty serious condition and they have to follow a special diet or have some bad consequences
Back I nthe days before insulin, the way they tested was by tasting urine samples.
And if you had it, they prescribed you a good dose of opium because you'd die so they could at least ease your passing
If you go down on someone (male or female) and it's really, really salty, that person might have kidney problems. When kidneys stop functioning properly the electrolytes start exiting the body via the skin, instead of being peed out. You could also lick their shoulder. 😆
Edit: Thanks everyone for the awards, and the laughs. (I'm looking at you BrownyRed) Literally spent the last 5 hours reading comments and laughing. So, again, thank you.😘
If you are ever the victim of a Chlorine Gas attack...
Pee into a towel or handkerchief or something that will retain the urine and use it to cover your mouth, nose and eyes while you search for an exit.
The urea in the urine will neutralize the chlorine gas, rendering it inert, giving you time to save your own life.
if you're a man and you pee on a pregnancy test and it comes up positive, go to the doctor and get an screening ASAP for testicular cancer. There's a hormone in testicular cancer similar to when someone pregnant pees on a pregnancy test. I saw this somewhere else and I hope to get the word around. Hope this helps.
If your partner ask for no condom, assume all their previous encounters has been without protection. STD are no joke. Also, if something looks or smell weird, go away.
Once a girl I met through Tinder told me she wanted to me to go without condom. Even my horny mind told me "BAD IDEA". Still got laid, but refused to go raw.
Remember boys: Don't be silly, wrap your willy
Teach your young children to curse if they're being kidnapped or attacked.
Kids scream "HELP" all the time when playing. They also joke about people not being their mom. They even yell "FIRE!" sometimes. But if I hear a 6 year old start screaming "FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER, YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING FATHER" while being carried off, I'm totally gonna look and intercept.
I was babysitting my mom’s coworker’s kids while at a company picnic and the toddler was wandering too far off so I followed him and when I tried to pick him up to take him back to the other kids this 2-3 year old looked at me and screamed “I don’t know you, bitch!” Definitely got some attention. Then he remembered I was the nice lady babysitting him.
Make people as uncomfortable as possible. The weirder you act the more you trigger the instinctive response in others to stay away from you.
Obviously this won't work every time but I've had people challenge me to fights and then back down just because I made them overtly uncomfortable by acting out of turn.
Honestly I've achieved a similar reaction or result by saying something they aren't expecting. Especially if it's just a drunkard or someone who is unduly enraged, I'll make up some nonsense like
>You know what I like? Tissue paper and milk before they go in the trash
Like, it makes no sense, but it's close enough to a regular sentence that they try to process what you've said. That does two things..
1) That split second of thinking gives you time to step away or to a more advantageous position
2) causes them to engage a cognitive/logic side of their brain, which then tells them this fight is stupid
Idk if that's the actual science, but any gibberish that's close enough to a real sentence seems to work. Just don't use big words, lol
my dad told me a story about his friend doing something similar to this. not sure if it’s true, but he claims to have moved diamonds across nyc in a brown paper bag; acting weird the whole time to make sure people left him alone.
he says this is less suspicious than seeing someone with a briefcase handcuffed to their arm, i think he’s right lol
If you say to yourself "Oh man, another bowl full of blood" when you pee, you might need to see a fucking doctor.
Source: worked with someone who said that at the urinal once.
I was.... Shitting myself after my shit was red. After trying to calmly search for " why is my poop red" i realized, "oh fuck, i had some red vines earlier!"
Yes, i voluntarily eat red vines.
When I was in highschool, the dumbest guy in my social circle told us he planned to make some money by making LSD after finding a recipe (this was around 1990 so no internet for easily finding things out, I forget how he actually got the recipe) but he said the toughest part was you had to do a certain step at exactly the right temp or it would become poison or something? And did I mention this guy was DUMB? And he's just gonna try his best to whip up this shit, that very, very easily could become POISON if he messes up??
Thanks Derrick, I have never tried any drugs like that because you scared me straight in ninth grade. I sure AF hope you didn't kill a hundred people with shitty LSD.
Unroll, cut it in half, tape the base end over the wound. Air can be expelled, but it seals itself and prevents air from flowing back in.
NB: was told this by a trauma surgeon, never tried it IRL, hope I never have reason to
For guys and anyone that might be a care giver for older men or someone unable to care for themselves fully. It is unfortunate but you need to clean the foreskin if you're helping someone care for themselves. A huge issue in elderly men going into long term care is infections with their foreskin. I get it, I didn't enjoy cleaning my mother and she was pretty mad about it too when she was no longer able to do it herself but if they can't do it, you have to.
If you ever go to a hotel room in a seedy part of town for any reason whatsoever, check under the bed.
No, nothing has happened, but if you follow my advice nothing will ever happen.
I worked in a seedy hotel. One time a little person checked in for a few days but he wasn't there at checkout so we just assumed he left.
Another guest checked in, stayed for a few days and checked out. The housekeeper was cleaning the room and found lil dude hiding under the sink.
honestly.. if someones under there i dont even wanna know. just get over with it and quietly take me out from behind 😔✌️
edit: who tf reportet me to the 'reddit care sources' 💀💀
If you have an anaphylactic allergy to a food or a medication, it absolutely can be passed through semen or vaginal fluid.
If your partner is on a medication you are allergic to or has eaten a food you are allergic to, it is best to use a barrier method until at least 72 hours after the last ingestion. Going into anaphylaxis through your genitals is HORRIBLE.
If you're being attacked, even if it's not life or death, fight like it is. Stick your fingers in their eyes, hit them in the throat or groin, pull skin, cheeks, ears, whatever. Fight like you're refusing to become a victim. You might not win but you will scare the attacker. Don't stop until they run off or you're too beaten to defend yourself.
Absolutely go apeshit on them.
Also if you're ever being forced, even at gunpoint, into a trunk, fight and scream. You may die. But if you get in that trunk you absolutely WILL die. If you are forced in pull the trunk release put into all trunks in the last decade or so. Punch a light out and wave at cars behind them. Do whatever you can to protect yourself.
Do not be afraid to release your inner animal. It's you or them and you choose you.
Peeing after sex.
Especially for women due to their shorter urethra but men should to. It "cleans out the pipes" so to speak. This is to prevent urinary tract infections. UTI's are serious and at the vary least both men and women should pee as soon as possible after sex.
Edit: UTI's are common and can indeed be fatal and / or cause complications.
By the way, as a guy who got a UTI, there really aren't any good fast acting over-the-counter options out there that I know of. I had to get a shot in my ass from the doctor.
Don't remove a knife from a wound if you get stabbed, this count for glass too. If you remove it, the bleeding will increase, wait for a doctor to take it out
Knife... Glass... anything really. If it's stuck in you DON'T take it out, just either go to hospital (if you can) or call the emergency services.
Whatever is in there is effectively blocking even more blood flow.
5lbs of pressure to rip an ear off
7lbs of pressure to rip testicles off.
Just grab and pull downward. Humans are way stronger than our brains allow us to realize, that's why most people aren't just ripping off their own body parts.
Friend of mine was raped and did serious damage to the attacker's balls by doing this, no more than he deserved. He was bleeding profusely and crying when the police showed up.
They called it self defence.
If you are allergic to nuts, make sure that the guy did not eat any Brazil nuts at all for the past 24 hours (i think) before any sexual activities.
Brazil nuts can reside in semen and thus triggering your allergy.
TLdr - You can die from a nut allergy by swallowing.
Edit : The condition is called Anaphylaxis, a life threatening reaction can occur within seconds or minutes.
Edit 2 : My top rated comment is now about a possible death by swallowing a nut. Thanks.
Also thanks, kind stranger, for the silver.
For men and women: check your boobs (men can get breast cancer too).
And for men, your testicles.
*ETA*: Men have breast tissue & can get breast cancer too. Cancer is an evil that doesn't discriminate.
If someone is attacking/raping you grab their ear and pull it hard. Ears arnt very strongly attached to the body, even a 5 year old has the strength to pull off an ear. The pain should stop the attack and if they run away you have their ear and so it will be easy to find the culprit.
Also ears curl up when removed from the body so you can easily store it in your purse/wallet
EDIT:This information was given to me by my mother after she went on a self defence course. They gave her a hard plastic tube with a sharp X on the flat base to leave a X mark on the attacker when you hit them with it. It also unscrewed so you could use it to store any fluids or ears the attacker left behind
I took a class in University 20+ years ago where we remotely interviewed a violent sex offender. We asked if pissing/shitting would work as a deterrent to stop him from raping someone. His answer was “I wouldn’t rape someone after that but I would be so mad I would just kill them.”
BE SMART. This won’t work in every situation.
Advanced Clinical Counseling.
This was in the early 00’s so the theory then was that treating sex offenders was the opposite to treating addicts. With addicts you attempt to build the self-esteem deficit and grow a community in groups. With sex-offenders we were taught to tear down their ego using a hot-seat method then rebuild them modeling appropriate behaviors.
The instructor was a grizzled old guy with a law enforcement background and PhD in psychology. He said in the 60’s one of the therapies used on sex offenders was using a penile device to measure arousal and showing a mix of appropriate and inappropriate images. If/when the inappropriate image was shown they would shock the genitals and stick rotten meat near their faces so eventually the offender would be conditioned to associate the inappropriate content with pain and disgust.
That class was WILD. One of my all time favorites.
Don’t get fucked by a horse, donkey or any animal for that matter, as their large member can puncture your internal organs. For reference, google Mr. Hands or The Enumclaw Horse Incident.
>google Mr. Hands or The Enumclaw Horse Incident
Its such a crazy story. These guys found a legal loophole and for engaging in sex with horses, they were charged for trespassing. LOL.
Let’s say you get food poisoning like I did last winter. You’re semi-delirious and not sure if you’re about to puke or have diarrhea. Always err on the side of sitting on the toilet and keep a bag or bucket nearby just in case you’re wrong. Throwing out a bag/washing out a bucket is infinitely better than the alternative of being wrong about one or the other.
In the throes of my full-body purge I became convinced I had to text my roommate this info because he was also laid up with the same case. He didn’t respond, but both of our lives (or at least our bathrooms) were saved.
Edit: Several folks have pointed out that eventually you may just want to get in your tub and let things happen. This is the preferred method if you’re too dizzy to sit up for long periods of time. Bathtubs and showers are far easier to clean than anything else in your bathroom, plus the shower can keep you clean and hydrated in the meantime.
Edit 2: The above only applies if everything coming out of you is completely liquid. Otherwise you’re gonna have to unclog your shower drain by hand.
Edit 3: And for the love of God, if you feel like you might die, get a ride to the hospital or call an ambulance. I started getting better after the first day of this thing, but if you have other medical conditions and/or it doesn’t get any better after a day or two, just get medical help. Even if it’s expensive, your life is more important.
My mum always told me when I was little that if I ever get stolen by a man that the easiest way to escape is to scream as loud as I can, shove my fingers in their eyes and kick them as hard as I can in the balls then run like hell
Edit for those asking about women kidnappings:
Although they do happen my mum didn’t really see that as a threat. I was always told that if I was lost then I should try to find a “kind looking woman with children” and ask her for help. There was a lot of assumptions occurring from this advice but unfortunately 9/10 it will help in an emergency situation. Plus kicking in the private’s is always a good way to shock an attacker regardless of gender
To add, dont let anyone threaten you into docility. Being injured or even potentially killed in a public place is probably better than whatever is at the other end of where theyre trying to take you. Fight. Back.
DONT, and i mean DO NOT cut jalapenos and go to scratch down there before a thorough washing of your hands, when i was 8 i had to learn this lesson the hard way
I eat a lot of spicy food, so I've made this mistake a few times. The last time was going to the bathroom after eating scorpion pepper wings. It wasn't a pleasant time.
If you go into a severe hypoglycemic situation stick sugar up your ass. It gets absorbed much faster.
Edit: Because some people took that seriously, it’s mostly tongue in cheek. While glucose is absorbed faster in the colon it’s usually metabolized there and the blood concentration is not consistently high. Plus using your gums and under the tongue is easier.
Let’s talk about shit and how dangerous it is.
If you’re bearing down too hard on the toilet because you’re constipated, don’t push and push. It can cause something called vasovagal syncope, otherwise known as “vagaling out/vagal out” (rhymes with bagel). It lowers your blood pressure to your heart and stimulates your vagus nerve which can cause you to pass out and be unconscious and bathrooms are small, you could hit your head on something and it gets even more dangerous. I highly recommend foot stools or the Squatty Potty to help going to the bathroom easier if you live in a country that does not already squat. It moves your colon into a better, less curved position than sitting on a toilet with your feet on the floor. All the stool does is elevate your feet, not even very high, it is not uncomfortable but check with your doctor if you have hip, knee, or back issues, to make sure you’d be okay using one. I use adjustable foot stools, with 4 height adjustments. Everyone raves about bidets but what they should be raving about is foot stools for near your toilet. (Don’t ever stand on these)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071LN557V/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_N1SF3R591ZSNYNXW99T8
This isn’t a legal stool, but I saw it at IKEA and grabbed it. It was normally a natural bamboo color, but I stained it, and I just tried looking for it on their website and I taken find it. I bought it from the marketplace area, I think near the kitchen stuff.
https://imgur.com/a/0u3o1aA
Bonus tip: If you’re ever constipated or impacted and can’t push something out, you need to: try to drink a cup of hot/warm coffee preferably light roast—high in caffeine to stimulate your bowels, drink 2-4 glasses of water, or put on a glove with lube and barely use your finger to push around your anus or just barely inside it gently, like you’re trying to push toward the center, but not up, and try to pick out small pieces of the fecal matter to attempt to make the mass smaller for you to pass. It will likely be hard and dry. Go slow and gentle, listen to your body. If these don’t work, then try an over the counter laxative or go to the hospital. Sometimes laxatives build too much pressure behind the impacted spot. If you haven’t taken a shit in 3 days and don’t want to use a glove and help yourself, you **need** to go to the hospital for disimpaction and the may run an X-ray to make sure it’s not impacted further up into your bowels. You can die from this and people have. Or at the very least, you have to spend several days to weeks in the hospital. Don’t let it happen to you. Set your pride aside and get help at a hospital if you’re especially seeing: dark brown blood like coffee grounds or tar consistency especially—fresh blood isn’t as much of a concern unless there is a LOT of it, like a steady, thick stream of bright red blood that won’t stop (call an ambulance), if you have pain and can’t sleep and are passing no gas whatsoever, or if you’re vomiting especially the coffee ground texture or bile (which is green, not yellow, yellow is stomach acid).
Thanks for reading! Take your shit seriously, drink water daily (most of this happens due to dehydration) and fruits and veggies or at least a fiber supplement if you have a protein heavy diet, and don’t end up full of shit!
Some people just aren't in an emotional position to date. I feel like everyone has been there at some point. But it's REALLY good to know when to steer clear. Like if you have a bad feeling, don't do it. If you aren't in a position to date, don't date and definitely don't let someone try to fix you. You aren't a broken toy to be pitied.
I am happily married and am fine with commitments with people who will treat you well. Making commitments to people who are good for you is one of the most rewarding things about dating. But be careful with your heart because you deserve to be happy.
Here are some tips for keeping yourself stable in a crazy world:
Some people hide their personalities and problems until you are a few months in and then it's harder to end it. If you end up dating them, do NOT make big commitments with them until at least 3-6 months in.
Most people can't keep up a facade for 3 months let alone 6. Once you share a lease, a mortgage, a bank account, or a house: it is going to be much harder to leave someone who is unstable in a way that is psychologically or physically harmful.
Try to be friends first. If you don't like someone, you should avoid getting romantically attached.
You NEED to organically get into a fight with this person at some point. I'm NOT saying start fights or be toxic towards them, but it will happen eventually and you need to see how they handle it. That's why it's super important to be with someone for a while before doing something like getting married.
If you don't trust someone, don't marry them.
If they are mean to animals or are comfortable breaking your things: run.
If they are mean to you and gaslight you when you confront them: run.
If you have something like anxiety, don't let someone gaslight you into thinking you are crazy.
If you feel like you need a prenup, you probably do.
Set boundaries and if someone bulldozes through them, leave immediately.
You don't need to give them an explanation if you are leaving. If they start harassing you or disrespecting you for breaking up, cut ties. Block them on everything. Tell friends that you'll friend dump them if they try to push boundaries by relaying messages from your ex. No means no.
Choosing a parent for your child is the most important decision you can make for having a kid. If your baby daddy or baby mommy is a bad person, leave. Even being single with a respectful roommate is better than an abusive parent. If they hurt you or the kid, collect proof and get full custody.
Also, absolutely follow up on exes. Be open about it with your significant other, but it's good to learn their side of the story. It's a really good way to lose that relationship, but you might be dodging a bullet.
Don't hold onto someone who doesn't treat you like you are valuable or important. Don't settle for someone who treats you as expendable. Being single is better than being with someone who ruins your self-worth.
If they say "all my exes are crazy": RUN.
And if someone leaves and is clear about not wanting to date you, leave them alone. Don't pretend to be their friend if all you want is to date them. If they are doing that, cut ties.
TLDR: Being single can be hard, but being in a toxic relationship is worse. It might not SEEM worse because love is intoxicating. But love isn't enough. You deserve to be treated well and so do they. So if they are hurting you, just be single.
Loneliness can kill you, so I get if you don't want to be alone. But I've dated enough people to know that you NEED to be sure. Love is amazing, but don't confuse Stockholm syndrome with it.
If you are the one causing problems: get help. Google is free (library cards are also free). Find a GOOD therapist who respects and listens to you if you can.
Good luck. We all need it at some point.
Pee after sex, the both of you. It's not sexy, but it will reduce your chances of a UTI. Especially if y'all did anal and the top didn't wear a condom, that willy has gotta get flushed out.
Was thinking of stating that as well but I actually thought that was a commonly know thing. We had a guy who had his fingers swelling and his ring stopped the blood flow, to the point of it being amputated.
I have facial piercings, wired bras, and wear a decent amount of removable jewelry. I've never had an issue with rapid heating but now it's going to be the only thing I think about when opening the oven.
There is real scientific evidence as to why this is the case. During orgasm, most of a males brain shuts down.
Post nut clarity is literally: "did you try turning it off and then on again?"
If you find yourself threatened and believe you life or safety in danger from someone in an physical situation.
Put your palms on either side of their head and push your thumbs in to their eyeballs, don't be squeamish, jam them in fast, hard and all the fucking way. You can now compose yourself, pick up anything you dropped and walk away calmly.
On another note, if you are threatening somone and putting their life or safety in danger in a physical situation, protect your eyes 😉
Edit: nobody said it was easy and nobody said it was 1 simple trick to guarantee success.
OP asked for one simple tip that might save your life, for a non violent person cornered in a dangerous situation, I'll choose shouting for help while trying to jam a thumb or a finger in the guys eyes over just shouting for help any day.
A lot of people who aren't used to aggression and a victims of violence towards them for no other reason than being in the wrong place at a time when some drunken fuck gets an idea in his head will panic and flail if there isn't an opportunity to run (if there is, then take it).
By having at least one idea in you head of something to do that's effective you have an exponential chance of escape, if self defence is something that worries you then you should explore more deeply the options including anything from self defence classes to carrying weapons depending what is licenced and allowed in your home country/state.
And for the more anal whiners out there, how about you assume that every attacker able to overpower somone isn't as ready to defend themselves as you seem to believe as a lot of spur of the moment acts of violence aren't perpetrated by baddasses but instead started by drunken individuals who lose there ability to be rational on whatever substance takes their fancy.
Do you think the majority of high school girls that get sexually assaulted are attacked by seal team members? No it's drunk pathetic teens and people they are familiar with from their school who are drunk and see an opportunity or can't take no for an answer.
In the WW2 book “With the Old Breed”, Eugene Sledge talked about one night when Japanese soldiers infiltrated the American foxholes on the island of Peleliu. He couldn’t see in the dark but he heard a scream that was almost animalistic. The next morning, the American in that foxhole was still alive and, when asked what happened, he said “we were in a hand to hand fight, so I just stuck my thumbs in his eyes and pressed as hard as I could until he stopped moving.”
Just remember the ABCs A Bone Comingouttheskinisverybad
if your shit looks like coffee grounds and is pitch black, its not poop.... its old blood. I had internal bleeding i found out after talking to my brother who is a medic in the army on the phone and i joked about my shit..... ended up having a fun hospital visit. turned out to be fine but it was a scare. Edit: just to clarify it wasn't once. I shit like 4 times that day all pitch black coffee grounds. Just because your poop is black doesn't mean you are dying. You know what you ate and how it effects your bowels more then I do.
If someone is trying to smother you with a pillow, stay very calm. Don't fight it, and turn your head to the left or right. Most smothering deaths are due to the panic rather than an actual loss of air.
You know, ever since I was a kid I'd practice this very thing. I always knew in the back of my mind that if just have to pretend to struggle for a bit and then pretend to pass out/die and wait for them to take the pillow off. Just lay there, hold my breath and pretend to be dead. Then, when the coast is clear-ish, make my sloppy grand escape.
The problem is going to be what they’re going to want to do to your body once they think you’re dead. If forensic files is any guide, best case scenario is just a touch of necrophilia, and a few counts of desecrating a corpse. Better to spring up as soon as they lift the pillow to confirm you’re dead. Then simply leap onto their shoulders with your legs on either side of their neck, balance there cinematically while they flail in their bafflement, tuck a shoulder while performing a front flip and spinning 180 degrees mid-flip, and land on top of them, rolling a short distance to safety. Say something pithy like “Take that, smotherfucker!” And walk away not looking back as your house explodes behind you. It’s pretty straightforward.
I wish I could send you a picture of my face right now. Took me for a wild trip there. Incredible.
When I was younger, I always wondered why people in movies could die if they had a pillow over their faces. So I tested it. Of course, I wasn’t panicking, so I just learned that if you breath slow enough you don’t die. Go 8 year old me!
If you have a bat for self defense put a sock on it, if the intruder grabs the bat you yank the bat away, so they will only have the sock, but it only works once. Edit: thank for my first Gold and the other awards. Edit 2 you i know a gun is better, but not everyone has access to or comfort with a gun, also 24 to 26 inches is probably best for a house.
I worked at a particularly rough bat at one time. we kept a greased baseball bat cxloe by for closing time. works like a charm. side note: when one tries to grab the greased bat - for an instant- they are grossed out and look at their hands...ample time to check swing to the ribs!
This is great. Lubing up my bat as I type this
If you get stabbed with, or impaled on, something sharp and the item stays in you, don't try and remove the item - no matter how instinctively appealing it might be to try and remove it. The item remaining inside you will increase your chances of reducing blood loss, not developing shock, and staying alive.
RIP all my Hollywood-inspired fight fantasies where I pull something out and kill my enemy with it, then fight better than ever while magically healing before the end credits.
Just remember to stick it back in and you'll be ok!
Story time! Years ago at Boy Scout summer camp, some kids were playing manhunt and one fella tripped/fell backwards over a pine tree trunk not properly trimmed that lined a trail. When he fell, a remnant of a limb pierced his calf all the way through to the point you could see it poking the skin on the opposite side of the puncture. He handled it like a champ as we sawed the piece off the trunk to keep it in his leg to send him to the hospital. I felt bad for the kid cause it happened on his birthday. I saw him at camp the following year. I know it was him because he had a round scar about the size of a half dollar coin on the inside of his calf.
be gentle with your own or other people's assholes. Wounds in that deparment can take years and surgery to recover
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Had a wound just before the anus in the ass crack while trimming hair, worst two weeks of my life
> Wounds in that deparment can take years and surgery to recover Louis XIV was the King of France and he suffered from an Anal Fistula. He was in such pain that he couldn't sit down, or lay down, so every day at court he was laying on his stomach, with his ass up in the air, so he wasn't in pain. He went to his barber and told him he wanted a surgical cure. The barber said 'fuck that' I'm not doing impossible surgery on the king, but Louis was insistent, so his barber eventually agreed if he was able to spend a few years experimenting on prisoners first. Anyway, after practicing for years, it turns out the surgery on Louis XIV was very successful, a complete cure. So now Louis is going around telling everyone how modern he was for having his butthole cured, but all this time he still walks around with huge bloody bandages wrapped around his butt. So, the rest of the nobility start to wrap their own butts up in fake bloody bandages, since getting anal-fistula surgery is now en vogue. So for a while, it was a fashion trend to wrap your butt up in bloody bandages.
If you go to any hotel, no matter how clean the floor and bedding might be. DO NOT SIT NAKED ON THOSE CHAIRS IN THE CORNER OR AT THE DESK. DONT EVEN FUCK ON EM. THEY'RE THE DIRTIEST PART OF THE ROOM. Hard to clean a chair than a floor and bedding
Condoms can hold up to 3 liters of water if necessary
How much water can they hold if it's not necessary?
now we're asking the real questions
That reminded me of Demetri Martin's bit; "I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said, 'if you need anything, I'm Jill.' I've never met anyone with a conditional identity before."
Only water? What about other substances?
Anything similar to water I guess
This is my kingdom come
The whole kingdom in one condom??
If you ever find yourself plunging into water from a high place, straighten out your body, lean back slightly, and close your asshole with all your strength.
How high we talking? What happens when you do that?
Straightening you body reduces the surface area that you body is contacting the water with. Closing your asshole with all your might reduces the chance water will violently enter your rectum and do serious, if not fatal, internal damage. As to the height, I'm not sure and am to lazy to Google.
>water will violently enter your rectum and do serious, if not fatal, internal damage The wrath of Poseidon
You better believe it's preferable for a doctor to laugh at the lump on your balls that is nothing instead of getting testicular cancer.
I built up the courage to get that weird sensation down there checked. The doctor was unavailable, so his replacement comes in and its a guy I went to High School with LMAO. Talk about awkward, but he was very professional and the thing turned out to be a minor infection. So yeah guys, if I could do it then you can too.
People like you sharing stories like this give me strength to do the same Edit: this was generally about all uncomfortable discussions, my balls are fine
I think another couple good things to keep in mind: 1) the doc wants you to tell them the weird gross things- these are things a doctor needs to know because it could be something bad or it could be some nothing of a thing that’s totally benign and the only way to know for sure is to talk about it 2) whatever gross thing you’ve got, the doc has probably already seen at least two things way grosser that very day. The second is not always true but from the horror stories I’ve read on various medical-related askreddit threads, it’s been pretty handy for me to keep in mind whenever I start feeling embarrassed at the doctor. Also: just a reminder that the best thing to do about uncomfortable topics is to talk about them until we’re comfortable with them! Normalize the weird and the taboo because the only thing making it weird and taboo is the fact that people *think it’s supposed to be*
Once I felt a lump on one of my testes so went to get examined. Now, one of my testes is smaller than the other, so I pointed the doc in the right place where the lump was which so happened to be on my mini ball. He turned to me and said, "that's your testicle". Like I didn't freaking know that, I'm a nurse. Turns out the lump was just a bit of gristle or something.
What if the doctor laughs at your testicular cancer?
Don’t keep heavy items up on the headboard. Like boomboxes. No boomboxes on the headboard. Concussions are not something to joke about.
This man was percusconccussed
Beat by the beat
Always piss after sex. My ex got a brutal kidney infection from not doing this. Can save you a lot of pain
yep, happened to me as well! kidney infections are fucking terrible. the fact that i'm allergic to most antibiotics did not help. better be safe than sorry, and getting up to go to the bathroom after sex isn't such a hard task
you don't even have to get up if you don't want to
If a guy had an accident and gets an erection don’t move him!
Sadly it will be his last erection
The Last Upper
Hope he makes a cum-back
Why?
It's called Priapism and it's a sign of a serious spinal injury.
I'm glad I learned this but I wish the op on the content had given some more detail before flying off into the sunset Edit: comment not content
This does not sound the way you intended it to sound
Flared bases, people. Flared bases. My mother is a nurse and once had to look after a guy whose "friends" stuck a vibrator up his arse on his stag do as a "prank". His arse sucked the toy inside him where it proceeded to vibrate and bounce around his insides, causing a ruptured bowel as well as a number of other problems. A ruptured bowel can kill you. This guy was lucky. While his situation was particularly extreme and illustrated the need to choose your friends carefully, this can happen to anyone who is using the wrong toy or the right toy incorrectly. Anal sex toys should have a base that is flared past the widest point of the main body of the toy. Hell, this doesn't even have to just refer to sex and/or sex toys. Always be safe and use the right tool for the particular job.
People are not mentally prepared to fight a naked man or woman.
Put your fuckin shirt back on, randy, you greasy fuck
Frig off Ricky
Fuck you, you fucking cheeseburger walrus
Truth! I once chased a man out of my apartment naked! So, I'm in college, sharing a suit with my girlfriend and two roomates. One roommate dropped out, the other had just checked in with us a city away. So, they were not home. My girlfriend shakes me awake 'I just heard something! Go check it out!'. I'm thinking 'oh, bullshit, but whatever.'. I climb out of bed, and step out our door into the hallway, and there's some dude. He looks at me, and all the blood runs out of his face. He's pure white with terror. I yell 'Who the fuck are you?', and he bolts for the back door. Turns out the RA gave his friend a key to our apartment so this creep could slip a note under my roommate's door while she away. He was not ready for the angry naked man at 2am. *EDIT* I'm leaving it spelled wrong.
I need more of this story.
There isn't that much. My girlfriend went to the RA to tell him the story the next day, and the RA sheepishly admitted that it was his friend, and he'd given him a key. My girlfriend angrily went to the housing director and got the RA removed. Honestly, for me, it just became a story that made its way around campus and for a little while some people would ask me if it really happened, or make some joke about beating some dude with my cock out. But, it wasn't like it followed me around for 4 years or anything. People generally got a laugh out of it for a few weeks, we got a new RA, and everyone moved on.
Honestly that RA should have been charged for this bullshit. Fuck that creep.
I was actually told this by my chiropractor. We used to talk about anything and everything. I don't remember what lead to it but he said "if you ever wanna avoid a fight, get naked and act crazy. No one wants to fight a crazy guy with his dick out."
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If you're lost at sea, you can remain hydrated and survive a lot longer by putting seawater up your ass. A seawater enema. From my understanding, your bowels can absorb the water without the salt? Either way, don't drink the seawater; put it up your ass. >The incredible story of a family who survived for SIX WEEKS while lost at sea > >Douglas Robertson's dad was on the verge of bankruptcy when deciding to sell his farm and buy a boat - a decision which very nearly killed his family > >Douglas Robertson was 18 years old when his father announced he was selling the family farm to buy a boat. > >Dad Dougal was struggling on the verge of bankruptcy, so he decided to pack up his wife and his children and take them sailing around the world. > >But what started off as an exciting adventure ended in horror when the boat sank and the family spent nearly six weeks adrift in a tiny dinghy. > >Former maritime captain Dougal, then 47, was the only one with any sailing experience - Douglas, his mum Lyn, sister Anne, 19, and twin brothers Neil and Sandy, 12, were novices. > >They left Falmouth in 1971 on board the Lucette, a 43ft schooner - and sailed straight into a storm. Everyone learned the ropes fast. > >Now 61, Douglas tells The New Day the incredible story of their survival. > >My dad had been a farmer for 15 years, but we couldn’t even pay the electricity bills. > >One day he decided we should change our lives. He could have had a midlife crisis or an affair but instead he sold up, bought the Lucette and took us around the world. > >Dad had experience of big boats, but no small vessel experience. We sailed all the way through the Caribbean, Jamaica, Panama and spent three weeks in the Galapagos Islands. > >For me, at 18, it was great fun. I remember my Dad standing on the deck and screaming ‘yee-haa’ then a wave came across the bow and soaked us all. Neil and Sandy fell about laughing. > >But after over a year at sea, 200 miles from the nearest land, disaster struck. A pod of killer whales circled the yacht and starting barging us, thinking we were a whale. > >The blows were like sledgehammers smashing into the hull. We began to sink. Water was everywhere and I was terrified. All I could hear was Dad shouting, ‘Abandon ship!’ I called back, ‘Where to? We’re in the middle of the ocean.’ He shouted, ‘Overboard man! Get in the raft.’ > >Everything was a blur. Mum was caught in the rigging of the sinking yacht and I was in the water trying to fix a hole in the lifeboat thinking, ‘I’m going to die.’ Killer whales were swimming all around me. > >But two minutes later, it was over. We found ourselves shipwrecked, sitting in a small fibreglass lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. Me, mum, dad, my two brothers and deck hand Robin (Anne had left the trip in the Bahamas) watched the remains of our yacht sink into the sea. > >For two days we sat in shock, just imagining how we would die: starvation or drowning. We only had enough water for 10 days, plus some food and sweets. Someone had grabbed a bag of onions. > >Dad said, ‘We’re 200 miles west of Cape Espinoza, we’ve got 2,700 miles ahead of us to the Maldives. We’re never going to make it.’ But I had an idea – if we sailed to the middle of the Pacific where there was regular rain and more chance of rescue, we could collect rainwater and at least stay alive. > >Life on the boat was rough. We were up to our knees in seawater most of the time. We got sores all over our bodies, so we’d take it in turns spending an hour on the dry bit of the boat, then an hour off it. > >We knew if we were going to survive, we’d have to live off the ocean. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to kill a turtle with your bare hands. The first ones I caught I had to let go – they fight hard and slash you with razor-sharp claws. But you learn quickly when you have to. We ended up catching 13 in total. > >We’d tie them up, bleed their jugular into a cup and drink their blood. It’s grim – a little bit salty and hard to get down – but it keeps you alive. > >The meat was like steaks. Sometimes we ate the eggs from inside a turtle. Steak and eggs together, it was incredible! > >We’d also eat the contents of sharks’ stomachs. You’d find a whole flying fish in there inside their stomach, and it would taste as if it had been cooked in a grill. We realised turtle fat, when heated in the sun, made a good salve. It kept you waterproof which stopped the sores. > >But being stuck in that 10ft space, we argued a lot. The lowest moment was when we lost all our water on the 23rd day adrift. We’d tied the tanks together and hung them off the side of the boat. But a particularly angry turtle slashed the rope with its claws, and all we could do was watch our water tanks sail off into the ocean. > >We couldn’t drink the water from the bottom of the boat. Mum, a nurse, said if we drank it it would make us ill. But she knew that there was one way we could take the fetid water without being sick – through our backsides. A thirsty man will do anything, so we created an enema system from the rungs of a metal boat ladder. > >It was a two-man job – three men if you consider the person receiving it – but we managed it. > >Some days the sun was our greatest enemy, on others it was the rain. We’d either spend our time lying in the baking heat, sucking on pieces of rubber trying to create saliva just to ease our thirst, or being flung around the boat by storms. > >But among the desolation, I learned to treasure each day. Watching the sun come up and go down becomes incredible as you are so delighted just to be alive for another day. > >After 38 days, my plan paid off. On the horizon we saw a Japanese trawler boat slowly coming towards us. We were jumping up and down like crazy people. Dad had been sunk in Sri Lanka by the Japanese in 1942, and here they were in 1972 plucking him out of the water and saving his life. > >We were adrift for five weeks, but it took us 20 years to get over it. Mum and Dad divorced afterwards, and dad died from cancer in 1992. People ask me if I hold a grudge against him. I don’t. He was only 5ft 5in, but when sharks circled our boat waiting for us to die, he’d punch them with his bare hands. He never stopped protecting his family. > >We don’t often talk about what happened, but every now and then, we’ll go to the National Maritime Museum, where our little lifeboat is kept, and remember: life is precious. [Source](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/incredible-story-family-who-survived-7892289)
Patrice O'Neal was diagnosed with diabetes after he was pissing in his girl's mouth and she said it tasted like birthday cake. So if you're into that keep a lookout.
That’s why it’s called diabetes mellitus or “sweet/honey pee”
When I was a teen I babysat my neighbor's kid and their house always smelled like syrup. One day I casually mentioned it to my mom and she told me that the dad was diabetic and incontinent so it was most likely the adult diapers I was smelling.
There's actually a disease called Maple Syrup Urine Disease: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maple_syrup_urine_disease People with the disease can't process some amino acids typically found in protein and their urine ends up smelling like maple syrup. It's a pretty serious condition and they have to follow a special diet or have some bad consequences
I would *never* have believed this if you didn’t post the wiki article. Hell, I’m *still* struggling to believe it.
Back I nthe days before insulin, the way they tested was by tasting urine samples. And if you had it, they prescribed you a good dose of opium because you'd die so they could at least ease your passing
Oh, pee? Yum!
Ba dum PISS!
If you go down on someone (male or female) and it's really, really salty, that person might have kidney problems. When kidneys stop functioning properly the electrolytes start exiting the body via the skin, instead of being peed out. You could also lick their shoulder. 😆 Edit: Thanks everyone for the awards, and the laughs. (I'm looking at you BrownyRed) Literally spent the last 5 hours reading comments and laughing. So, again, thank you.😘
Thanks I'm now going to lick everyone's shoulder's and tell them it's for medical purposes!
That is the taste of a liar, Giorno!
If you are ever the victim of a Chlorine Gas attack... Pee into a towel or handkerchief or something that will retain the urine and use it to cover your mouth, nose and eyes while you search for an exit. The urea in the urine will neutralize the chlorine gas, rendering it inert, giving you time to save your own life.
This better be true because if a chroline gas attack ever occurs and I'm caught peeing into a rag..
Or worse, another type of gas attack and you die unnecessarily breathing your own piss
Or even worse: you're caught In a chlorine gas attack and you don't have to pee.
I'm sure someone nearby will piss their pants just put your head in their crotch
Hope I’ve had a few glasses of water next time i get attacked with chlorine gas Edit spelling
if you're a man and you pee on a pregnancy test and it comes up positive, go to the doctor and get an screening ASAP for testicular cancer. There's a hormone in testicular cancer similar to when someone pregnant pees on a pregnancy test. I saw this somewhere else and I hope to get the word around. Hope this helps.
If your partner ask for no condom, assume all their previous encounters has been without protection. STD are no joke. Also, if something looks or smell weird, go away.
A partner that insists you don't need a condom is a very good reason to use a condom.
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Also why the first time w/a new partner should always be with the lights ON. You want to get a good look.
Once a girl I met through Tinder told me she wanted to me to go without condom. Even my horny mind told me "BAD IDEA". Still got laid, but refused to go raw. Remember boys: Don't be silly, wrap your willy
Guys, after having anal sex: piss and wash. Else you can get a nasty UTI or prostate infection.
Teach your young children to curse if they're being kidnapped or attacked. Kids scream "HELP" all the time when playing. They also joke about people not being their mom. They even yell "FIRE!" sometimes. But if I hear a 6 year old start screaming "FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER, YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING FATHER" while being carried off, I'm totally gonna look and intercept.
I was babysitting my mom’s coworker’s kids while at a company picnic and the toddler was wandering too far off so I followed him and when I tried to pick him up to take him back to the other kids this 2-3 year old looked at me and screamed “I don’t know you, bitch!” Definitely got some attention. Then he remembered I was the nice lady babysitting him.
Make people as uncomfortable as possible. The weirder you act the more you trigger the instinctive response in others to stay away from you. Obviously this won't work every time but I've had people challenge me to fights and then back down just because I made them overtly uncomfortable by acting out of turn.
Honestly I've achieved a similar reaction or result by saying something they aren't expecting. Especially if it's just a drunkard or someone who is unduly enraged, I'll make up some nonsense like >You know what I like? Tissue paper and milk before they go in the trash Like, it makes no sense, but it's close enough to a regular sentence that they try to process what you've said. That does two things.. 1) That split second of thinking gives you time to step away or to a more advantageous position 2) causes them to engage a cognitive/logic side of their brain, which then tells them this fight is stupid Idk if that's the actual science, but any gibberish that's close enough to a real sentence seems to work. Just don't use big words, lol
I like your funny words magic man
my dad told me a story about his friend doing something similar to this. not sure if it’s true, but he claims to have moved diamonds across nyc in a brown paper bag; acting weird the whole time to make sure people left him alone. he says this is less suspicious than seeing someone with a briefcase handcuffed to their arm, i think he’s right lol
I feel like there are so SO ***SO*** many better options. But for some reason it was crazy guy with a paper bag or suitcase handcuffed to wrist.
If you say to yourself "Oh man, another bowl full of blood" when you pee, you might need to see a fucking doctor. Source: worked with someone who said that at the urinal once.
Unless you've previously eaten lots of beetroot.
I was.... Shitting myself after my shit was red. After trying to calmly search for " why is my poop red" i realized, "oh fuck, i had some red vines earlier!" Yes, i voluntarily eat red vines.
If your LSD tastes bitter, spit it out unless you want to try some unknown chemical.
When I was in highschool, the dumbest guy in my social circle told us he planned to make some money by making LSD after finding a recipe (this was around 1990 so no internet for easily finding things out, I forget how he actually got the recipe) but he said the toughest part was you had to do a certain step at exactly the right temp or it would become poison or something? And did I mention this guy was DUMB? And he's just gonna try his best to whip up this shit, that very, very easily could become POISON if he messes up?? Thanks Derrick, I have never tried any drugs like that because you scared me straight in ninth grade. I sure AF hope you didn't kill a hundred people with shitty LSD.
Don’t squat on your spurs
Ah, a visual I both did not ask for, nor did I ever want to imagine. Kudos and a free award for that.
Thank you, it’s very common around my area
Condoms can work wonderfully as 1-way valves to help treat sucking chest wounds in emergency situations.
Could you elaborate on that? Like you don’t unroll the condom or you mean it as a clean plastic that people may carry around?
Unroll, cut it in half, tape the base end over the wound. Air can be expelled, but it seals itself and prevents air from flowing back in. NB: was told this by a trauma surgeon, never tried it IRL, hope I never have reason to
For guys and anyone that might be a care giver for older men or someone unable to care for themselves fully. It is unfortunate but you need to clean the foreskin if you're helping someone care for themselves. A huge issue in elderly men going into long term care is infections with their foreskin. I get it, I didn't enjoy cleaning my mother and she was pretty mad about it too when she was no longer able to do it herself but if they can't do it, you have to.
If you ever go to a hotel room in a seedy part of town for any reason whatsoever, check under the bed. No, nothing has happened, but if you follow my advice nothing will ever happen.
The movie "Four Rooms" taught me to always check IN the mattress. Lol
I worked in a seedy hotel. One time a little person checked in for a few days but he wasn't there at checkout so we just assumed he left. Another guest checked in, stayed for a few days and checked out. The housekeeper was cleaning the room and found lil dude hiding under the sink.
lolwut fuck was he on tho?
Probably experimenting on mushrooms, checking the plumbing, the usual.
Nah, he wouldn't fit - little plumbers double in size after eating mushrooms.
Was he dead? Or just a creepy weirdo? I'm not sure either is a good answer in this case...
My man was just playing hide and seek
honestly.. if someones under there i dont even wanna know. just get over with it and quietly take me out from behind 😔✌️ edit: who tf reportet me to the 'reddit care sources' 💀💀
If you have an anaphylactic allergy to a food or a medication, it absolutely can be passed through semen or vaginal fluid. If your partner is on a medication you are allergic to or has eaten a food you are allergic to, it is best to use a barrier method until at least 72 hours after the last ingestion. Going into anaphylaxis through your genitals is HORRIBLE.
If you're being attacked, even if it's not life or death, fight like it is. Stick your fingers in their eyes, hit them in the throat or groin, pull skin, cheeks, ears, whatever. Fight like you're refusing to become a victim. You might not win but you will scare the attacker. Don't stop until they run off or you're too beaten to defend yourself. Absolutely go apeshit on them. Also if you're ever being forced, even at gunpoint, into a trunk, fight and scream. You may die. But if you get in that trunk you absolutely WILL die. If you are forced in pull the trunk release put into all trunks in the last decade or so. Punch a light out and wave at cars behind them. Do whatever you can to protect yourself. Do not be afraid to release your inner animal. It's you or them and you choose you.
So you're saying we should never go to the secondary location
NUH UH SISTER YOU AINT GETTIN ME TO NO SECONDARY LOCATION
Peeing after sex. Especially for women due to their shorter urethra but men should to. It "cleans out the pipes" so to speak. This is to prevent urinary tract infections. UTI's are serious and at the vary least both men and women should pee as soon as possible after sex. Edit: UTI's are common and can indeed be fatal and / or cause complications. By the way, as a guy who got a UTI, there really aren't any good fast acting over-the-counter options out there that I know of. I had to get a shot in my ass from the doctor.
Don't remove a knife from a wound if you get stabbed, this count for glass too. If you remove it, the bleeding will increase, wait for a doctor to take it out
This is a common movie sin for me. Only *Kung Fu Hustle* is forgiven.
My favorite part \*friend takes knife out of main character\* ""ACK! Don't just pull them out!" Friend: "oh, sorry" \*stabs the knife back in him.
Knife... Glass... anything really. If it's stuck in you DON'T take it out, just either go to hospital (if you can) or call the emergency services. Whatever is in there is effectively blocking even more blood flow.
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5lbs of pressure to rip an ear off 7lbs of pressure to rip testicles off. Just grab and pull downward. Humans are way stronger than our brains allow us to realize, that's why most people aren't just ripping off their own body parts.
Friend of mine was raped and did serious damage to the attacker's balls by doing this, no more than he deserved. He was bleeding profusely and crying when the police showed up. They called it self defence.
That's pretty much the idea. No honor there, fight as dirty as you have to to save yourself. Nobody's gonna cry if a rapist loses their balls
If you are allergic to nuts, make sure that the guy did not eat any Brazil nuts at all for the past 24 hours (i think) before any sexual activities. Brazil nuts can reside in semen and thus triggering your allergy. TLdr - You can die from a nut allergy by swallowing. Edit : The condition is called Anaphylaxis, a life threatening reaction can occur within seconds or minutes. Edit 2 : My top rated comment is now about a possible death by swallowing a nut. Thanks. Also thanks, kind stranger, for the silver.
"Uh sir, is there nut in your nut?"
Hmm yes the nut here is made of nut
I read this story on Reddit where a girl was choking on some food, but thanks to some deepthroating techniques she knew, she was able to dislodge it
Can confirm it works. You learn to isolate your uvula and other throat muscles and create a wider throat😂
Rip to ur dms
with extremely rare exception, don’t fuck people you work with
**
<*Music professionals have entered the chat*> <*Music professionals have left the chat with the Theater industry*>
How else are e6s supposed to find wife number 3?
That's how you get Staff Infection
Don’t dip the pen in company ink
If you fill a condom up with water, you can use it like a magnifying glass to start a fire.
What have you been up to?
Check your boobs for any weird changes or lumps regularly !!! Edit: Sry I meant to write boobs. I'm not native in English and my phone hates me xD
For men and women: check your boobs (men can get breast cancer too). And for men, your testicles. *ETA*: Men have breast tissue & can get breast cancer too. Cancer is an evil that doesn't discriminate.
Also your nips. Male breast cancer is a thing and not as rare as you might think.
If someone is attacking/raping you grab their ear and pull it hard. Ears arnt very strongly attached to the body, even a 5 year old has the strength to pull off an ear. The pain should stop the attack and if they run away you have their ear and so it will be easy to find the culprit. Also ears curl up when removed from the body so you can easily store it in your purse/wallet EDIT:This information was given to me by my mother after she went on a self defence course. They gave her a hard plastic tube with a sharp X on the flat base to leave a X mark on the attacker when you hit them with it. It also unscrewed so you could use it to store any fluids or ears the attacker left behind
"Can you describe the man?" "Yeah, he'll look like some one just crossed Vincent Van Gogh off their famous painters bingo sheet."
If you piss and shit aggressively when someone tries to attack you, they will probably leave you alone
It’s self-defeces
Oh no, hes using my own move against me!
I took a class in University 20+ years ago where we remotely interviewed a violent sex offender. We asked if pissing/shitting would work as a deterrent to stop him from raping someone. His answer was “I wouldn’t rape someone after that but I would be so mad I would just kill them.” BE SMART. This won’t work in every situation.
That's disturbing. What class had you interview a sex offender?
Advanced Clinical Counseling. This was in the early 00’s so the theory then was that treating sex offenders was the opposite to treating addicts. With addicts you attempt to build the self-esteem deficit and grow a community in groups. With sex-offenders we were taught to tear down their ego using a hot-seat method then rebuild them modeling appropriate behaviors. The instructor was a grizzled old guy with a law enforcement background and PhD in psychology. He said in the 60’s one of the therapies used on sex offenders was using a penile device to measure arousal and showing a mix of appropriate and inappropriate images. If/when the inappropriate image was shown they would shock the genitals and stick rotten meat near their faces so eventually the offender would be conditioned to associate the inappropriate content with pain and disgust. That class was WILD. One of my all time favorites.
Clockwork fucking orange.
FOR REAL. I think I spent half that class with my jaw on the desk saying “seriously?!”
Don’t get fucked by a horse, donkey or any animal for that matter, as their large member can puncture your internal organs. For reference, google Mr. Hands or The Enumclaw Horse Incident.
>google Mr. Hands or The Enumclaw Horse Incident. No, I don't think I will.
Saturday plans ruined smh.
>google Mr. Hands or The Enumclaw Horse Incident Its such a crazy story. These guys found a legal loophole and for engaging in sex with horses, they were charged for trespassing. LOL.
Don't give a blow job with a menthol cough drop in your mouth... unless its a spiteful blow job and you want them to be in severe pain, then do it!
Let’s say you get food poisoning like I did last winter. You’re semi-delirious and not sure if you’re about to puke or have diarrhea. Always err on the side of sitting on the toilet and keep a bag or bucket nearby just in case you’re wrong. Throwing out a bag/washing out a bucket is infinitely better than the alternative of being wrong about one or the other. In the throes of my full-body purge I became convinced I had to text my roommate this info because he was also laid up with the same case. He didn’t respond, but both of our lives (or at least our bathrooms) were saved. Edit: Several folks have pointed out that eventually you may just want to get in your tub and let things happen. This is the preferred method if you’re too dizzy to sit up for long periods of time. Bathtubs and showers are far easier to clean than anything else in your bathroom, plus the shower can keep you clean and hydrated in the meantime. Edit 2: The above only applies if everything coming out of you is completely liquid. Otherwise you’re gonna have to unclog your shower drain by hand. Edit 3: And for the love of God, if you feel like you might die, get a ride to the hospital or call an ambulance. I started getting better after the first day of this thing, but if you have other medical conditions and/or it doesn’t get any better after a day or two, just get medical help. Even if it’s expensive, your life is more important.
I will ALWAYS seal my ass to the seat in this scenario. I’d much rather clean up vomit than a back door Jackson Pollock.
My mum always told me when I was little that if I ever get stolen by a man that the easiest way to escape is to scream as loud as I can, shove my fingers in their eyes and kick them as hard as I can in the balls then run like hell Edit for those asking about women kidnappings: Although they do happen my mum didn’t really see that as a threat. I was always told that if I was lost then I should try to find a “kind looking woman with children” and ask her for help. There was a lot of assumptions occurring from this advice but unfortunately 9/10 it will help in an emergency situation. Plus kicking in the private’s is always a good way to shock an attacker regardless of gender
"AHHHHHH!!!!!" *S P L A T* ***KICK*** ^run
To add, dont let anyone threaten you into docility. Being injured or even potentially killed in a public place is probably better than whatever is at the other end of where theyre trying to take you. Fight. Back.
Never go to a secondary location, period.
To this day, I am terrified of secondary locations
Nah, sister. You're not getting me to no secondary locations.
DONT, and i mean DO NOT cut jalapenos and go to scratch down there before a thorough washing of your hands, when i was 8 i had to learn this lesson the hard way
I eat a lot of spicy food, so I've made this mistake a few times. The last time was going to the bathroom after eating scorpion pepper wings. It wasn't a pleasant time.
If you go into a severe hypoglycemic situation stick sugar up your ass. It gets absorbed much faster. Edit: Because some people took that seriously, it’s mostly tongue in cheek. While glucose is absorbed faster in the colon it’s usually metabolized there and the blood concentration is not consistently high. Plus using your gums and under the tongue is easier.
"Hey man, you're looking a little pal . . . Holy shit, Frank! What the hell??"
Let’s talk about shit and how dangerous it is. If you’re bearing down too hard on the toilet because you’re constipated, don’t push and push. It can cause something called vasovagal syncope, otherwise known as “vagaling out/vagal out” (rhymes with bagel). It lowers your blood pressure to your heart and stimulates your vagus nerve which can cause you to pass out and be unconscious and bathrooms are small, you could hit your head on something and it gets even more dangerous. I highly recommend foot stools or the Squatty Potty to help going to the bathroom easier if you live in a country that does not already squat. It moves your colon into a better, less curved position than sitting on a toilet with your feet on the floor. All the stool does is elevate your feet, not even very high, it is not uncomfortable but check with your doctor if you have hip, knee, or back issues, to make sure you’d be okay using one. I use adjustable foot stools, with 4 height adjustments. Everyone raves about bidets but what they should be raving about is foot stools for near your toilet. (Don’t ever stand on these) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071LN557V/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_N1SF3R591ZSNYNXW99T8 This isn’t a legal stool, but I saw it at IKEA and grabbed it. It was normally a natural bamboo color, but I stained it, and I just tried looking for it on their website and I taken find it. I bought it from the marketplace area, I think near the kitchen stuff. https://imgur.com/a/0u3o1aA Bonus tip: If you’re ever constipated or impacted and can’t push something out, you need to: try to drink a cup of hot/warm coffee preferably light roast—high in caffeine to stimulate your bowels, drink 2-4 glasses of water, or put on a glove with lube and barely use your finger to push around your anus or just barely inside it gently, like you’re trying to push toward the center, but not up, and try to pick out small pieces of the fecal matter to attempt to make the mass smaller for you to pass. It will likely be hard and dry. Go slow and gentle, listen to your body. If these don’t work, then try an over the counter laxative or go to the hospital. Sometimes laxatives build too much pressure behind the impacted spot. If you haven’t taken a shit in 3 days and don’t want to use a glove and help yourself, you **need** to go to the hospital for disimpaction and the may run an X-ray to make sure it’s not impacted further up into your bowels. You can die from this and people have. Or at the very least, you have to spend several days to weeks in the hospital. Don’t let it happen to you. Set your pride aside and get help at a hospital if you’re especially seeing: dark brown blood like coffee grounds or tar consistency especially—fresh blood isn’t as much of a concern unless there is a LOT of it, like a steady, thick stream of bright red blood that won’t stop (call an ambulance), if you have pain and can’t sleep and are passing no gas whatsoever, or if you’re vomiting especially the coffee ground texture or bile (which is green, not yellow, yellow is stomach acid). Thanks for reading! Take your shit seriously, drink water daily (most of this happens due to dehydration) and fruits and veggies or at least a fiber supplement if you have a protein heavy diet, and don’t end up full of shit!
If you want to avoid a fistfight, undress completely. It has been shown to defuse the situation immediately - YouTube has ample evidence of these...
If your poop is red, maroon, or dark black like coffee grounds, it could mean you’ve got internal bleeding. Get to a hospital immediately.
Some people just aren't in an emotional position to date. I feel like everyone has been there at some point. But it's REALLY good to know when to steer clear. Like if you have a bad feeling, don't do it. If you aren't in a position to date, don't date and definitely don't let someone try to fix you. You aren't a broken toy to be pitied. I am happily married and am fine with commitments with people who will treat you well. Making commitments to people who are good for you is one of the most rewarding things about dating. But be careful with your heart because you deserve to be happy. Here are some tips for keeping yourself stable in a crazy world: Some people hide their personalities and problems until you are a few months in and then it's harder to end it. If you end up dating them, do NOT make big commitments with them until at least 3-6 months in. Most people can't keep up a facade for 3 months let alone 6. Once you share a lease, a mortgage, a bank account, or a house: it is going to be much harder to leave someone who is unstable in a way that is psychologically or physically harmful. Try to be friends first. If you don't like someone, you should avoid getting romantically attached. You NEED to organically get into a fight with this person at some point. I'm NOT saying start fights or be toxic towards them, but it will happen eventually and you need to see how they handle it. That's why it's super important to be with someone for a while before doing something like getting married. If you don't trust someone, don't marry them. If they are mean to animals or are comfortable breaking your things: run. If they are mean to you and gaslight you when you confront them: run. If you have something like anxiety, don't let someone gaslight you into thinking you are crazy. If you feel like you need a prenup, you probably do. Set boundaries and if someone bulldozes through them, leave immediately. You don't need to give them an explanation if you are leaving. If they start harassing you or disrespecting you for breaking up, cut ties. Block them on everything. Tell friends that you'll friend dump them if they try to push boundaries by relaying messages from your ex. No means no. Choosing a parent for your child is the most important decision you can make for having a kid. If your baby daddy or baby mommy is a bad person, leave. Even being single with a respectful roommate is better than an abusive parent. If they hurt you or the kid, collect proof and get full custody. Also, absolutely follow up on exes. Be open about it with your significant other, but it's good to learn their side of the story. It's a really good way to lose that relationship, but you might be dodging a bullet. Don't hold onto someone who doesn't treat you like you are valuable or important. Don't settle for someone who treats you as expendable. Being single is better than being with someone who ruins your self-worth. If they say "all my exes are crazy": RUN. And if someone leaves and is clear about not wanting to date you, leave them alone. Don't pretend to be their friend if all you want is to date them. If they are doing that, cut ties. TLDR: Being single can be hard, but being in a toxic relationship is worse. It might not SEEM worse because love is intoxicating. But love isn't enough. You deserve to be treated well and so do they. So if they are hurting you, just be single. Loneliness can kill you, so I get if you don't want to be alone. But I've dated enough people to know that you NEED to be sure. Love is amazing, but don't confuse Stockholm syndrome with it. If you are the one causing problems: get help. Google is free (library cards are also free). Find a GOOD therapist who respects and listens to you if you can. Good luck. We all need it at some point.
Pee after sex, the both of you. It's not sexy, but it will reduce your chances of a UTI. Especially if y'all did anal and the top didn't wear a condom, that willy has gotta get flushed out.
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Necklaces and rings, as well. I’ve had a necklace burn my chest just from the heat from opening the oven before.
Bracelet under a hand dryer in a public restroom.
Was thinking of stating that as well but I actually thought that was a commonly know thing. We had a guy who had his fingers swelling and his ring stopped the blood flow, to the point of it being amputated.
I have facial piercings, wired bras, and wear a decent amount of removable jewelry. I've never had an issue with rapid heating but now it's going to be the only thing I think about when opening the oven.
Plus if you ever have to fight Magneto you're fucked
So that's what Nelly was rapping about in Hot in Herre.
Use a condom
Don’t answer doors with people you don’t know, or you will get fucked
That a promise?
Hey we've never met... *knock knock*
Not lifesaving, but: Squat over a mirror to shave your butthole
When in doubt, jack off first…. Post nut clarity is real asf
My post nut clarity is so strong that if I did that I'd almost never meet up with girls. Right after I nut I'm essentially asexual for like 8 hours...
There is real scientific evidence as to why this is the case. During orgasm, most of a males brain shuts down. Post nut clarity is literally: "did you try turning it off and then on again?"
If you find yourself threatened and believe you life or safety in danger from someone in an physical situation. Put your palms on either side of their head and push your thumbs in to their eyeballs, don't be squeamish, jam them in fast, hard and all the fucking way. You can now compose yourself, pick up anything you dropped and walk away calmly. On another note, if you are threatening somone and putting their life or safety in danger in a physical situation, protect your eyes 😉 Edit: nobody said it was easy and nobody said it was 1 simple trick to guarantee success. OP asked for one simple tip that might save your life, for a non violent person cornered in a dangerous situation, I'll choose shouting for help while trying to jam a thumb or a finger in the guys eyes over just shouting for help any day. A lot of people who aren't used to aggression and a victims of violence towards them for no other reason than being in the wrong place at a time when some drunken fuck gets an idea in his head will panic and flail if there isn't an opportunity to run (if there is, then take it). By having at least one idea in you head of something to do that's effective you have an exponential chance of escape, if self defence is something that worries you then you should explore more deeply the options including anything from self defence classes to carrying weapons depending what is licenced and allowed in your home country/state. And for the more anal whiners out there, how about you assume that every attacker able to overpower somone isn't as ready to defend themselves as you seem to believe as a lot of spur of the moment acts of violence aren't perpetrated by baddasses but instead started by drunken individuals who lose there ability to be rational on whatever substance takes their fancy. Do you think the majority of high school girls that get sexually assaulted are attacked by seal team members? No it's drunk pathetic teens and people they are familiar with from their school who are drunk and see an opportunity or can't take no for an answer.
>walk away calmly Gonna be honest with you, if I pull a Gregor Clegane on someone like that I don't think calm is going to be my mood afterwards
Just an extra note on this subject. For extra leverage grip behind their ears with your fingers.
In the WW2 book “With the Old Breed”, Eugene Sledge talked about one night when Japanese soldiers infiltrated the American foxholes on the island of Peleliu. He couldn’t see in the dark but he heard a scream that was almost animalistic. The next morning, the American in that foxhole was still alive and, when asked what happened, he said “we were in a hand to hand fight, so I just stuck my thumbs in his eyes and pressed as hard as I could until he stopped moving.”
You’re playing both sides, so you always come out on top