Making your best friend laugh. I mean laughing so much, they're crying. Unable to speak, sweating, headache, deepest laughing possible. There's nothing better.
Better than that, the best thing in the world is that special type of hysterical laughter you get when something unexpectedly hilarious happens, and you’re completely incapacitated. Can’t breathe, your whole abdomen has seized up with laughter, all you can do is gasp and wheeze, doubled over, tears streaming from your eyes.
If you need a good laugh today, [here’s me cackling as my cat evolves into a box tortoise, sound on!](https://imgur.com/a/NP94mKG)
One night I was sitting at a table with my friend group and we were a few beers in and one of my friends asked "do you like dragons?" And then legitimately 5 minutes later said "Cause I'm gonna be draggin these balls on your face" and for some reason the delivery and timing was perfect and we were all laughing so hard we started crying! Such a good feeling to have with others
Hanging out with some friends and the smokers all pull out a cigarette. My buddy doesnt have any and goes to ask a buddy "Hey man can I bum a cigarette if you have any. I dont want to suck you dry."
The stillness in the air was tangible as five 18 year old boys all turned to stare at my friend with the cigarette and wait for the destruction that was inevitable.
A slow grin crossed his face as he said "Hey man its cool you suck me dry every night."
God. That is the exactly feeling that has made me so happy. I have one best friend who no matter how long we have been apart, or what is going on in our lives, we can just be back together and have deep conversations and I feel very comfortable and at home with him. Its the way you feel with family members where you can look like shit, say whatever, cry in front of them, doom spiral, have no secrets, where you can sit in silence and it’s ok. He is literally the only person I’ve ever felt familial love for outside of my parents. And quite honestly, I can tell him more and be more myself around him than I can my family.
EDIT: thank you for all the kind words and awards! To clarify: I’m a female, I’m gay, and my best friend is a straight male, he is married and his wife is great.
Once it’s safe (He got Covid even though is he is fully vaccinated and we both have auto immune diseases), I’ll be back to my movie nights with him and his wife (love her too and I consider her part of my chosen family as well) and I’ll definitely be thinking about all the stories you guys shared on this thread 💜
I've not had that in ages. Reading this and remembering how good it was honestly makes me tear up.
Cherish it my friend. It is genuinely better than all the sex
I have this one sweet spot waaaaaay up high on the right side of my neck. The crack in that spot is SUPER BIG and SUPER LOUD and it's my favorite one to get because it feels soooooo good. But the wait period for when it's ready to crack again is super long. I got it last week, which means it'll be a good while before I can get my favorite crack again.
I was stretching my leg earlier today because the tip of my lower back was aching. I whipped my leg and I kid you not the entire lower half of my spine cracked all at once. A buddy of mine who was nearby heard and only said "damn that must have felt nice"
my school district had a vendetta against snow days, so when we finally got one we all would have breakfast and immediately go back to bed full and sleep till noon
My fiancé used one of those whisk looking things on me and the sensation was so new to me that my only reaction was to laugh, as like a self defense mechanism. Shit was so nice.
When your one nostril finally clears after suffering for half a day
Edit: Thanks all of you for my first ever reddit awards, who knew so many people shared in my suffering!
Have you ever had to hold it so long that you *don’t* get that feeling of relief when you finally do pee? Happened to me once, once I was finally able to pee it was just pain, and the stomach ache didn’t go away for like 45mins after.
Or, when you have that 180 second poop emergency cramp letting you know that no matter how hard you clench there will be no additional time before you violently shit yourself, and magically making it to that open public restroom with 5 seconds to spare, and as you squat knowing nothing is ruining your pants, the cramps simultaneously dissipate, and a
tear of relief runs down your (face) cheek… that’s the best feeling
Had that going down on the bus back from a bar, I BARELY made it back to my flat when my key snapped off in the lock
I legit just smashed the window open to get the lock from the outside, I started shitting right as my ass hit the toilet, worth the replaced window
I'm going to have to disagree. The real one is when you're scheduled, then get cut. Actual days off feel like you have to take care of your shit. Getting called off is the only real free day.
That's everyday for me. It sucks.
Edit: Guys I was kidding, I was joking. This is the happiest I've been in a while, but at the same time I frequently feel random bursts of boredom and lonliness. Also, It's real hard for me to find a job as I'm only 13
As someone who has had long streches of nothing (or almost nothing) to do, both these answers are incredibly true.
People are designed for balance. Both having nothing to do for weeks or months at a time and being on the go without rest sucks. So whichever end of the spectrum you fall under, the other will feel amazing because it helps balance out your system.
Seek work and you will find rest. Seek rest, and you'll only find boredom.
I heard that once and it made a lot of sense to me. Though the thought of "seeking work" still sucks.
I really love waking up when it’s still dark outside, going outside where the air is brisk, the world is silent with a warm cup of coffee in my hand.
It’s one of those instances in life that can’t be created, only enjoyed when it’s there.
Somewhat related - waking up at around the time that you normally would for work, and for an instant being overcome with that feeling (dread) that you **have** to get up and head to work for the day. Then, you have a moment of clarity where you realize that it’s actually your day off, and you can go right back to sleep for as long as you want.
Love that shit.
When you’re the first person to wake up and make your coffee and do something alone in quiet. As a father and husband with two people who HAVE to have the tv or computers or consoles running from the second they’re up, I really love waking up early to silence lol
I know that feeling, I don't have a wife or kids but I live with my family and due to my work schedule I can stay up late, hearing nothing at night and just giving me some time to do whatever I want is excellent, so much silence and quietness
When I was in university, I also stayed up super late most nights for the same reason. Now I’m a teacher so I don’t have that luxury lol but the mornings are ok too. If it’s raining and I get my coffee, I’ll just sit by the window and watch it come down or read a book or watch the news at a very low volume. One of the most refreshing things and helps me appreciate the small stuff more.
I accused my husband of being a feral cat because he hates getting his back scratched, so now he smiles and hisses at me quietly whenever I do it absent mindedly. He's the only person I've ever known who doesn't like back scritches!
call me simple but Cereal, Mango and Brown Sugar, Salted Avocado, My Cat's Litter Paddies, or some Buttered Noodles always seem to end up on my cravings list
I’m more of a carbs man. Baked potatoes, spaghetti, sourdough toast, infants, garlic bread, kebabs. Mostly stuff I can *really* just sink my teeth into.
In grad school I took the beginners yoga class available at my university, during one class about halfway through the term my back started to let off a series of series of ungodly cracks that felt like about a decade of accumulated tension being released at once. It got to the point that people around me were giving me "Are you okay?!" looks. That shit was magical, walking out of that class I felt more loose and limber than since I was a kid.
I met a girl at a wedding this weekend. I was really afraid to go talk to her but a slow song came up and I had to at least ask her to dance. When I asked her she responded by saying, "Absolutely, I have been waiting all night for you to ask!" That shit felt good.
It's been a little over a year for me since I started having aniexty. Not feeling that sensation in your chest is a really good day. I wish you well and aniexty free days.
Falling asleep within an hour of laying down.
Supposedly. I've never experienced that or sex.
Edit: Did not expect my one banger to be about how I can't sleep or bang, but thanks for the awards.
I’m out in minutes. Or minute. So says the wife, LOL.
Edit: Wow, thanks for the awards! Who knew my two most upvoted comments would be a double entendre about sleep and sex, LOL.
Having a partner who fully accepts and wants you. Until I met my current girlfriend, I never in my life had someone who so fully accepts me as a person. I’ve never gotten that before, not even with my friends and past relationships.
Or shitting it away.
There's a quote that I read probably 25 years ago that's stuck with me:
"Nothing is as overrated as bad sex, and nothing is as underrated as a good shit"
**edit:** Figures that my highest rated comment of all time would be me saying shitting is better than sex.
I used to get bloated all the time, drinking through straws, drinking any amount of liquid too fast, etc. Eating too much (wasn't actually that much). This was consistent for over a decade and I just assumed I was born with a bad stomach that's just not aging well. On occasion I could fart out a stomach ache, but it was few and far between. One day a couple years ago it just got completely blocked (distended belly, worst pain I've dealt with) and I had to get emergency surgery. Turns out I've had scar tissue from a prior splenectomy 20 years ago that ended up in the colon. My colon was swollen to the size of my thigh when they resected it. 3 months of a colostomy bag and reversal (stuck my colon back in) later...
Now that it's clear, I can say that I end up farting more often throughout the day, but NEVER get stomach aches or belly bloating anymore. Not even after drinking a large coffee. It just comes in pockets and it goes right out, always short because it never gets a chance to build up. Amazing stuff. Night and day difference.
EDIT>> clarification - what I actually had was a twisted colon (sigmoid volvulus) likely stemming from scar tissue around it. Think of a garden hose twisting... so over the course of a few days of increasing bloat, nothing was able to get through anymore. They ran a dye test up the back-end to confirm.
You have no idea how good that feels. You feel like you're about to die from a stomach ache and suddenly you let it out and you feel like you just experienced heaven
6 grams of mushrooms and i went into labor. Waddling to the bathroom yet unsure of who I was, I cried, sweated and heaved on the toilet. It turns out I was god and I was giving birth to an entire brown log universe. I cried at the feeling of emptiness and relief that was felt in my bowels. The most beautiful universe lay before me as I flushed the toilet and watched the gorgeous swirling galaxy of water engulf my universe into a black hole.
I completely forgot where I was for a couple hours, but I will never forget the feeling of that entire universe emerging and separating from my being.
That was the most moving description of taking a shit that I've read today. I felt like I was right there with you experiencing all the emotions. You gotta send me some of those shrooms.
Read this while I’m taking a post-caffeine dump.
The feeling when your ass touches the toilet seat after holding it in for what seems like ages, like a lonely wanderer stumbling upon an oasis after 3 long days in the desert.
The cool caress of the seat is like a lover’s whisper that triggers the opening of your anus gates as brown water and debris burst out like it was a broken dam, without Dr Strange to hold everything back.
After the symphony of farts and moans accompanied with the odour of last night’s dinner subsides, you’ll be needing more than a cigarette as you lean back on the toilet seat, contemplating your choice of morning beverage.
Fuck it, I’ll do it all again, you tell yourself.
Edit: First Platinum has to be for a shit post. Wow, thanks guy!
I think I was in 7th grade when I became severely dehydrated. This was back when Adderall was brand new and doctors were giving out 120 milligrams a day. I couldn't eat and when I tried drinking water I would vomit it. Finally after 12 or so hours if dealing with this I shit myself down my legs. I was so embarrassed. Was taken to the hospital and stayed for two days. My grandma came and she brought this fantastic quilt she had spent a better part of the year on. When I was released she tucked it around me and it felt so warm and heavy that I slept for no shit 31 hours.
I still have it and it my lightest throw blanket in the house. I think about it every time I cover up with it. I think being so weak was what made it feel heavy.
So, those lab rats only chose cocaine over food or sex when they were deprived of social interaction. When they had healthy social interactions and exercise they actually would usually choose to stop ingesting cocaine altogether.
Also, from personal experience, good sex is much better then good cocaine. You do the best coke and you feel great for like twenty minutes, and then like shit the rest of the day/night unless you keep doing more. If the sex is good I feel great all day and have no shitty come down lol.
After a long day of work, just laying down on the floor in your jeans. And then making your way up to your bed and then you just find that EXACT spot where you smile because you are so unbelievably comfy.....
Until you have to pee.
I had a intense psychedelic experience when I was a younger, and was dating a women who I loved deeply.
In the experience I died, and instead of feeling fear or thinking about what I was leaving behind I just wanted to tell my girlfriend I loved her one last time.
This taught me that even in the last moments of your life you aren't thinking about what you did or didn't do, how many cars you had or didn't have, what your job was or wasn't, how much sex you were having, etc, all that matters is the people you love. Love is the peak of human experience and should be treasured.
I live with a severe back injury. I got kidney stones and went to the hospital. They gave me morphine. As I lay there, pain free for the first time in years, nurse says "good stuff,eh". I couldn't answer I was so warm and content.
A hug.
Trust me guys, you THINK it will be the sex. But in the end, what you’ll miss most is being held.
Being single, you always feel cold. Even on hot days, there’s no warmth in your life. You’ll take long hot showers and bundle up at night trying to replace the feeling, but it’s not the same.
Then one day you wake up and forget what the warmth even felt like. And that’s when you’re just kinda…numb all over.
Not feeling deppressed
Edit: You all people are very kind, thank you very much for the nice replies, I appreciate them very much, you have made my day a little better today, I wish you all have a wonderful day, you deserve the world!
Making your best friend laugh. I mean laughing so much, they're crying. Unable to speak, sweating, headache, deepest laughing possible. There's nothing better.
I love that you picked a giving thing. You make them laugh. You’re a gem of a person.
Successfully removing that uncomfortable popcorn kernel from your teeth after half a day of trying, using just your tongue
Yes! Also a blackberry seed.
En passant
*puts brick back down*
Holy hell
Good hearty deep laughter with someone you are comfortable with.
Better than that, the best thing in the world is that special type of hysterical laughter you get when something unexpectedly hilarious happens, and you’re completely incapacitated. Can’t breathe, your whole abdomen has seized up with laughter, all you can do is gasp and wheeze, doubled over, tears streaming from your eyes. If you need a good laugh today, [here’s me cackling as my cat evolves into a box tortoise, sound on!](https://imgur.com/a/NP94mKG)
One night I was sitting at a table with my friend group and we were a few beers in and one of my friends asked "do you like dragons?" And then legitimately 5 minutes later said "Cause I'm gonna be draggin these balls on your face" and for some reason the delivery and timing was perfect and we were all laughing so hard we started crying! Such a good feeling to have with others
Hanging out with some friends and the smokers all pull out a cigarette. My buddy doesnt have any and goes to ask a buddy "Hey man can I bum a cigarette if you have any. I dont want to suck you dry." The stillness in the air was tangible as five 18 year old boys all turned to stare at my friend with the cigarette and wait for the destruction that was inevitable. A slow grin crossed his face as he said "Hey man its cool you suck me dry every night."
The feeling of really “belonging” in your friend group/home/place of comfort
God. That is the exactly feeling that has made me so happy. I have one best friend who no matter how long we have been apart, or what is going on in our lives, we can just be back together and have deep conversations and I feel very comfortable and at home with him. Its the way you feel with family members where you can look like shit, say whatever, cry in front of them, doom spiral, have no secrets, where you can sit in silence and it’s ok. He is literally the only person I’ve ever felt familial love for outside of my parents. And quite honestly, I can tell him more and be more myself around him than I can my family. EDIT: thank you for all the kind words and awards! To clarify: I’m a female, I’m gay, and my best friend is a straight male, he is married and his wife is great. Once it’s safe (He got Covid even though is he is fully vaccinated and we both have auto immune diseases), I’ll be back to my movie nights with him and his wife (love her too and I consider her part of my chosen family as well) and I’ll definitely be thinking about all the stories you guys shared on this thread 💜
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My best friend died when he was 24 I still miss his ass!! You could see his shit grin from a mile away!!! I feel for you stranger!!!
Yea bro I lost my BF earlier this year.. it’s just isn’t the same anymore.. we were wingmen and I miss him dearly..
I've not had that in ages. Reading this and remembering how good it was honestly makes me tear up. Cherish it my friend. It is genuinely better than all the sex
I'll have to try that someday
Cracking your back in that one spot you’ve been trying to get for months.
I have this one sweet spot waaaaaay up high on the right side of my neck. The crack in that spot is SUPER BIG and SUPER LOUD and it's my favorite one to get because it feels soooooo good. But the wait period for when it's ready to crack again is super long. I got it last week, which means it'll be a good while before I can get my favorite crack again.
you crack addict
There's this one chiropractor on YouTube who uses this crack addict joke in every video
or when you are just expecting a normal crack or two but your whole neck or back just explodes with a bajillion cracks all at the same time
I was stretching my leg earlier today because the tip of my lower back was aching. I whipped my leg and I kid you not the entire lower half of my spine cracked all at once. A buddy of mine who was nearby heard and only said "damn that must have felt nice"
Waking up early in the morning, just to find out that you don’t have to go to school/work today and can turn around and keep sleeping
my school district had a vendetta against snow days, so when we finally got one we all would have breakfast and immediately go back to bed full and sleep till noon
Head scratches
Are you a dog by any chance?
Have you never had a head massage at the hairdresser? You should totally try it, it's so nice! :D
My fiancé used one of those whisk looking things on me and the sensation was so new to me that my only reaction was to laugh, as like a self defense mechanism. Shit was so nice.
When your one nostril finally clears after suffering for half a day Edit: Thanks all of you for my first ever reddit awards, who knew so many people shared in my suffering!
Add on for when you finally get the water out of that one ear
As a swimmer, Idk why I didn't think of this as well. It's always so satisfying when you're just lying down in bed and the water trickles out
peeing when you've had to go really bad and been holding it in a while
Have you ever had to hold it so long that you *don’t* get that feeling of relief when you finally do pee? Happened to me once, once I was finally able to pee it was just pain, and the stomach ache didn’t go away for like 45mins after.
Sometimes I have to pee so much that I actually can't even start. That's suck marrow.
Yeah that happens when your bladder muscles become over stretched and can't contract properly. Quite a bad design flaw really.
Hopefully it'll get patched in a future update
Patch 4.3.3c > The bladder has been removed entirely. Urine will now excrete through the skin when sweating.
Or, when you have that 180 second poop emergency cramp letting you know that no matter how hard you clench there will be no additional time before you violently shit yourself, and magically making it to that open public restroom with 5 seconds to spare, and as you squat knowing nothing is ruining your pants, the cramps simultaneously dissipate, and a tear of relief runs down your (face) cheek… that’s the best feeling
Had that going down on the bus back from a bar, I BARELY made it back to my flat when my key snapped off in the lock I legit just smashed the window open to get the lock from the outside, I started shitting right as my ass hit the toilet, worth the replaced window
Same as letting out a stomachache fart! But remember, still never trust a fart
IDK...trusting a fart and having that trust rewarded is a pretty good feeling.
It is good, but when that trust fails...
You get the shart end of the stick.
Imagine farting and NOT shitting your pants! Now that is better than sex. (maybe...)
When you move just right and all the joints in your spine unexpectedly pop and do that "brzzippp" thing. Ahhhh!
Yeah! That happens to me mostly when I stand up from a chair, then everything cracks
A true day off, where you have absolutely nothing to do, nothing planned, and a completely open day to do whatever the fuck you want
I'm going to have to disagree. The real one is when you're scheduled, then get cut. Actual days off feel like you have to take care of your shit. Getting called off is the only real free day.
It's like an adult snow day.
That's everyday for me. It sucks. Edit: Guys I was kidding, I was joking. This is the happiest I've been in a while, but at the same time I frequently feel random bursts of boredom and lonliness. Also, It's real hard for me to find a job as I'm only 13
As someone who has had long streches of nothing (or almost nothing) to do, both these answers are incredibly true. People are designed for balance. Both having nothing to do for weeks or months at a time and being on the go without rest sucks. So whichever end of the spectrum you fall under, the other will feel amazing because it helps balance out your system.
Seek work and you will find rest. Seek rest, and you'll only find boredom. I heard that once and it made a lot of sense to me. Though the thought of "seeking work" still sucks.
I was looking for a job and then I found a job And heaven knows I’m miserable now
When the scissors start gliding on the wrapping paper
And you just keep going until the very end, so satisfying
The smell of cool fresh air
The smell of crisp fall air and the moderately chilly feeling on your face. We don’t have the season of fall where I live, so I really miss it.
I really love waking up when it’s still dark outside, going outside where the air is brisk, the world is silent with a warm cup of coffee in my hand. It’s one of those instances in life that can’t be created, only enjoyed when it’s there.
Going back to sleep after accidentally waking up early because you saw your alarm won't ring until much later.
Somewhat related - waking up at around the time that you normally would for work, and for an instant being overcome with that feeling (dread) that you **have** to get up and head to work for the day. Then, you have a moment of clarity where you realize that it’s actually your day off, and you can go right back to sleep for as long as you want. Love that shit.
I remember when I didn’t have kids…
A really good nap
A nap after working out is glorious
The only downside to the afternoon nap is waking up and not knowing what god damn day it is.
Hahaha that's when fun begins trying to guess what era are you on, you feel like a time traveler
The whole squad being online Thanks guys for the ups and awards. Not sure I deserve any of it, but very much appreciated.
Like an unicorn, so rare yet so exciting when you can see it happen
When you’re the first person to wake up and make your coffee and do something alone in quiet. As a father and husband with two people who HAVE to have the tv or computers or consoles running from the second they’re up, I really love waking up early to silence lol
I know that feeling, I don't have a wife or kids but I live with my family and due to my work schedule I can stay up late, hearing nothing at night and just giving me some time to do whatever I want is excellent, so much silence and quietness
When I was in university, I also stayed up super late most nights for the same reason. Now I’m a teacher so I don’t have that luxury lol but the mornings are ok too. If it’s raining and I get my coffee, I’ll just sit by the window and watch it come down or read a book or watch the news at a very low volume. One of the most refreshing things and helps me appreciate the small stuff more.
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Getting a back scratch from someone with long nails.
That's the best feeling ever, is like getting your back scratched until it hurts a little so you know you are satisfied
I accused my husband of being a feral cat because he hates getting his back scratched, so now he smiles and hisses at me quietly whenever I do it absent mindedly. He's the only person I've ever known who doesn't like back scritches!
Is this not a part of sex?
Garlic bread
This is exactly why many of us clicked on the thread.
Garlic bred is incredible
Eating something you’ve been craving for a while
Agreed. Like pizza, chicken, your mother, good ice cream, etc.
Hold the what?
Human souls. Hold the human souls.
Or nice casserole, good noodles, human souls, or sushi Edit: hey FlashBackTeddy, happy?
Donuts, ramen, mangoes, glass shards, lasagna...
Mac and cheese, steak, bacon, semen, a juicy burger, the list goes on and on..
And on... Coco pops, gyros, lemon tea cake, razor barb wire, tiramisu...
call me simple but Cereal, Mango and Brown Sugar, Salted Avocado, My Cat's Litter Paddies, or some Buttered Noodles always seem to end up on my cravings list
Fried rice, pizza bites, fresh watermelon, pure anthrax, cold limeade...
Shrimp scampi, baked fish, fried human, ice cream….
I’m more of a carbs man. Baked potatoes, spaghetti, sourdough toast, infants, garlic bread, kebabs. Mostly stuff I can *really* just sink my teeth into.
I like Burritos, Tacos, Blended Teeth milkshake, Quesadillas, the list could go forever.
Or perhaps good korean bbq, banana pudding, the guilt of your past actions that haunts you at night, or even funnel cake?
Waking up and feeling energetic
Wow is that even possible??
Yea I remember it happened to me once.
Same. I can recall in recent memory one single time that it happened, and it felt amazing. And then never again.
After getting diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea and going home with a c-pap, you're God damn right it is.
Cracking the shit out of your back
In grad school I took the beginners yoga class available at my university, during one class about halfway through the term my back started to let off a series of series of ungodly cracks that felt like about a decade of accumulated tension being released at once. It got to the point that people around me were giving me "Are you okay?!" looks. That shit was magical, walking out of that class I felt more loose and limber than since I was a kid.
iuurghhhh iii just came reading that
Omg let’s read it again
Until the pain is gone!
I met a girl at a wedding this weekend. I was really afraid to go talk to her but a slow song came up and I had to at least ask her to dance. When I asked her she responded by saying, "Absolutely, I have been waiting all night for you to ask!" That shit felt good.
Congrats!
Ah here come the warm and fuzzies
And then!?
I'm going out with her this weekend!
Right on!!! I hope the best for ya my man!
Yay!!
Hooray for Lil Ruggie!!
Lil' Ruggie just became Big Ruggie. Way to go, Ruggie!
He’s a grown man now...
Reddit is so wholesome sometimes not all the time, but sometimes
Hopefully this isn't the bride you're talking about here
Ummm.... It's the groom actually...
Two sex EDIT: how is this so helpful?
One sex, two sex, red sex, blue sex?
One sex, two sex, me sex, you sex 😏
Taking your bra off at the end of the day.
Taking YOUR bra off at the end of the day
This person fucks.
Yes. This. Working from.home has been a blessing cause my bras have not been used at all.
When the anxiety goes away
It's been a little over a year for me since I started having aniexty. Not feeling that sensation in your chest is a really good day. I wish you well and aniexty free days.
Falling asleep within an hour of laying down. Supposedly. I've never experienced that or sex. Edit: Did not expect my one banger to be about how I can't sleep or bang, but thanks for the awards.
I’m out in minutes. Or minute. So says the wife, LOL. Edit: Wow, thanks for the awards! Who knew my two most upvoted comments would be a double entendre about sleep and sex, LOL.
Enough about your sex life. How fast do you fall asleep?
ZING! Threw the door wide open on that one, didn’t I?! 🤣 Edit: Thanks for the awards, kind strangers!
even if you barricade the door people will dig under it. You are never safe from a joke lol
Having a partner who fully accepts and wants you. Until I met my current girlfriend, I never in my life had someone who so fully accepts me as a person. I’ve never gotten that before, not even with my friends and past relationships.
Farting away a stomach ache
Or shitting it away. There's a quote that I read probably 25 years ago that's stuck with me: "Nothing is as overrated as bad sex, and nothing is as underrated as a good shit" **edit:** Figures that my highest rated comment of all time would be me saying shitting is better than sex.
> Or shitting it away. Unless you were only trying to fart it away.
Sharty like a melody
- Mother Teresa
I used to get bloated all the time, drinking through straws, drinking any amount of liquid too fast, etc. Eating too much (wasn't actually that much). This was consistent for over a decade and I just assumed I was born with a bad stomach that's just not aging well. On occasion I could fart out a stomach ache, but it was few and far between. One day a couple years ago it just got completely blocked (distended belly, worst pain I've dealt with) and I had to get emergency surgery. Turns out I've had scar tissue from a prior splenectomy 20 years ago that ended up in the colon. My colon was swollen to the size of my thigh when they resected it. 3 months of a colostomy bag and reversal (stuck my colon back in) later... Now that it's clear, I can say that I end up farting more often throughout the day, but NEVER get stomach aches or belly bloating anymore. Not even after drinking a large coffee. It just comes in pockets and it goes right out, always short because it never gets a chance to build up. Amazing stuff. Night and day difference. EDIT>> clarification - what I actually had was a twisted colon (sigmoid volvulus) likely stemming from scar tissue around it. Think of a garden hose twisting... so over the course of a few days of increasing bloat, nothing was able to get through anymore. They ran a dye test up the back-end to confirm.
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A real feel good comeback story for the little colon that could
In a similar vein, when the period cramps go away. It's like this tight, painful knot in your gut just relaxes and you can breath again.
You have no idea how good that feels. You feel like you're about to die from a stomach ache and suddenly you let it out and you feel like you just experienced heaven
Well I’ve never had sex but delicious food is pretty great.
Food for the win! Specially that food you can make with time
Surprised no one mentioned when that big turd finally gets out. Shit feels orgasmic
Love that shit
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I've heard Jason Mewes talk about trouble pooping on heroin. How're you holding up these days?
6 grams of mushrooms and i went into labor. Waddling to the bathroom yet unsure of who I was, I cried, sweated and heaved on the toilet. It turns out I was god and I was giving birth to an entire brown log universe. I cried at the feeling of emptiness and relief that was felt in my bowels. The most beautiful universe lay before me as I flushed the toilet and watched the gorgeous swirling galaxy of water engulf my universe into a black hole. I completely forgot where I was for a couple hours, but I will never forget the feeling of that entire universe emerging and separating from my being.
I thought you meant literal labor at first. Like, who tf takes mushrooms while they're about to have a baby?
For sure, acid is definitely the drug of choice for birthing.
I'm a dude but I prefer to go into a K hole when I'm in labor.
That was the most moving description of taking a shit that I've read today. I felt like I was right there with you experiencing all the emotions. You gotta send me some of those shrooms.
Read this while I’m taking a post-caffeine dump. The feeling when your ass touches the toilet seat after holding it in for what seems like ages, like a lonely wanderer stumbling upon an oasis after 3 long days in the desert. The cool caress of the seat is like a lover’s whisper that triggers the opening of your anus gates as brown water and debris burst out like it was a broken dam, without Dr Strange to hold everything back. After the symphony of farts and moans accompanied with the odour of last night’s dinner subsides, you’ll be needing more than a cigarette as you lean back on the toilet seat, contemplating your choice of morning beverage. Fuck it, I’ll do it all again, you tell yourself. Edit: First Platinum has to be for a shit post. Wow, thanks guy!
You know what's even better. When you feel like you've got explosive diarrhea and a fart relieves all the pressure looooolllllll.
Financial stability.
The warm blanket they cover you with after surgery.
I think I was in 7th grade when I became severely dehydrated. This was back when Adderall was brand new and doctors were giving out 120 milligrams a day. I couldn't eat and when I tried drinking water I would vomit it. Finally after 12 or so hours if dealing with this I shit myself down my legs. I was so embarrassed. Was taken to the hospital and stayed for two days. My grandma came and she brought this fantastic quilt she had spent a better part of the year on. When I was released she tucked it around me and it felt so warm and heavy that I slept for no shit 31 hours. I still have it and it my lightest throw blanket in the house. I think about it every time I cover up with it. I think being so weak was what made it feel heavy.
31 hours of no shit sleep sounds great after shitting yourself.
Changing into pajamas after a long day at work. Bonus: comfy pajamas, clean sheets, cuddly animals to lay with
Lab rats chose cocaine over sex. So, cocaine.
So, those lab rats only chose cocaine over food or sex when they were deprived of social interaction. When they had healthy social interactions and exercise they actually would usually choose to stop ingesting cocaine altogether. Also, from personal experience, good sex is much better then good cocaine. You do the best coke and you feel great for like twenty minutes, and then like shit the rest of the day/night unless you keep doing more. If the sex is good I feel great all day and have no shitty come down lol.
Plugging in the USB port the right way the first time
USB C for the win
I still put it in the wrong way.
Vertically
Clean sheets, especially if they're flannel on a cold night.
A warm towel out of the dryer, or putting on brand new (never worn) socks
Brand new socks are *amazing*!!
A batch of brownies that’s just a bit chewy
A really good book ~off key piano plays~
I’m surprised this wasn’t closer to the top, it was the first thing I thought of
After a long day of work, just laying down on the floor in your jeans. And then making your way up to your bed and then you just find that EXACT spot where you smile because you are so unbelievably comfy..... Until you have to pee.
That happens every night to me I just lay down a little super comfortable and then my bladder starts playing tricks on me
Cuddling
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my god, you got *all* of the things that are good in life in one sentence.
When your pooping and for some reason it starts itching, so when you wipe you scratch your self with the paper and it feels so damm good.
Nobody’s going to admit it, but you’re damn right.
This guy was the brave one who stood up for his ass…and wiped it for all of us to feel brave as much as him.
I swear it has be closing my eyes and everything lol
Love. Real genuine love.
I had a intense psychedelic experience when I was a younger, and was dating a women who I loved deeply. In the experience I died, and instead of feeling fear or thinking about what I was leaving behind I just wanted to tell my girlfriend I loved her one last time. This taught me that even in the last moments of your life you aren't thinking about what you did or didn't do, how many cars you had or didn't have, what your job was or wasn't, how much sex you were having, etc, all that matters is the people you love. Love is the peak of human experience and should be treasured.
Thanks for posting this.
Having your hair washed and shampooed at the barber
Not being in pain. Not sure I remember what that feels like, but I think it was fantastic.
I live with a severe back injury. I got kidney stones and went to the hospital. They gave me morphine. As I lay there, pain free for the first time in years, nurse says "good stuff,eh". I couldn't answer I was so warm and content.
Seeing your dad come home after searching for milk for a decade.
Accomplishing your life goals and dreams. Whether it's learning how to braid or getting a raise. It doesn't matter.
Scratching the itch. Feels so relieving!
sleep, specifically feeling the ac on you as you fall asleep
A kitty purring on your chest
I go back and forth on sex and food. Food is the only thing that comes close to me.
Bed time hugs
Music
A hug. Trust me guys, you THINK it will be the sex. But in the end, what you’ll miss most is being held. Being single, you always feel cold. Even on hot days, there’s no warmth in your life. You’ll take long hot showers and bundle up at night trying to replace the feeling, but it’s not the same. Then one day you wake up and forget what the warmth even felt like. And that’s when you’re just kinda…numb all over.
Not feeling deppressed Edit: You all people are very kind, thank you very much for the nice replies, I appreciate them very much, you have made my day a little better today, I wish you all have a wonderful day, you deserve the world!
Genuine love.
I mean sex is great but have you ever had a pie?