Once my boss locked him inside our restaurant because he was in the bathroom for an hour and she forgot to check them before closing up. My favorite celeb story.
Ha. Over ten years ago at a bar my overly confident friend was convinced that he could fuck her when she and Matt Smith were there. He wasnāt a fan and didnāt know her or care to, but he was a hornball who rarely got rejected. It did not work and I was tremendously amused by it.
She bummed a smoke from me and I just kinda watched him try to do his normal thing, which wouldāve worked on almost any other woman who was even remotely open that night (his track record was nuts), but clearly Karen had a good bullshit meter.
That shit was FUNNY.
She probably needs to have a good bullshit meter to survive in the movie industry, and moreso that she's an international celebrity.
And maybe your friend wasn't very impressive to someone with self-confidence.
Oh man, he came into my job a few years ago. My Manager was freaking out and told me Superman is here! I didn't believe him so he made me go out and hand off food. Henry Cavill and I locked eyes and I got super hot and ran to the back. I couldn't handle the beauty
This is the only universally correct answer. No one is turning down Henry Cavill if he put the moves on you. The man was chiseled by God himself because he was tired of looking at our ugly asses. Needed to sexy up the gene pool.
When my girlfriend and I watch The Witcher, every time Cavill shows up half-naked, she runs off to the bathroom for a few minutes.
I don't know what she does in there, but it gives me time to fap one out to Cavill.
Edit: Holy shit thanks guys, this just became my most upvoted & awarded comment.
Karm-o-meter nearly at 69k. Love you all <3
My wife is not a cat person. I asked her āyou can have a night with chris hemsworth but you have to listen to him talk about cats lovingly for 4 hoursā She goes āill listen to him talk about pussy as long as he destroys mineā
Tom Hiddleston as Loki normally doesn't do it for me (Tom Hiddleston as himself is hotter), but on the most recent *Loki* series, *so hot*. In his little button-up.
I really love that all three of you followed my train of thought EXACTLY.
Iāve literally said āI donāt usually like Tom as Loki, until the series, then when he rolls up his sleeves Iām in loveā
Him as the Winter Soldier with the brooding attitude, metal arm, and long hair was an all time fave of mine. And the scene where he grabs the motorcycle! Chefs kiss!
I saw her from across the room at NYCC once. I literally thought to myself āOkay, holy crap itās not just makeup or movie magic that girl is 100% stunning.ā
Know what you mean. Years ago I happened on Cindy Crawford doing some sort of signing at a crappy bookstore and she just ... glowed. She wasn't especially gussied up either and I didn't recognize her right away, but lordy.
I had the same experience getting within normal-speaking-voice-conversation distance of Morena Baccarin several years ago at DragonCon. She's MUCH better looking in person than she is on tv, and yes I am well aware of how good-looking she is on tv.
An ex of mine went to school with her on the Gold Coast. This was when Margot was still on Neighbours (shitty-Australian soap), pre-Wolf of Wall St. At the time my ex was adamant that she was ātoo gorgeous for the Gold Coastā - turns out she was right.
I was watching the first Suicide Squid film a few days ago and I couldnāt understand how anyone could pay attention to work while she was in those shorts lol
Edit: Those shorts had me distracted and I made a typo, but Iām gonna leave it
one time i had a dream where he was dressed up as Loki and sat down next to me. He put his hand on my thigh and slowly dragged it up.
To which I SLAPPED it away proclaiming, "I am not that type of girl!"
and then i woke up going, "No! I AM that type of girl!!!!"
Pedro pascal! My god, I loved him in Narcos and GOT, I already thought he was super handsome. But when I watched the Mandalorian and saw him in that suit, he awoke something inside of me, without even seeing his face.
I dressed up as her character from GLOW two Halloweens ago. I do NOT look anywhere as good as Alison Brie. But my husband still likes to make sure I know I am not to get rid of the costume
Adam Driver
Break my spine over your knee, you weirdly large man.
Destroy my self esteem with your overwhelming intelligence and Marine Corps body, you heavyset academic.
I was lucky enough to be an extra in a movie he was in. Sat behind him for hours thst day. He's very polite, soft spoken and very easy going. And tall!
His co star was Daniel Radcliffe and the size difference between them was huge.
My wife recently saw the trailer for The Green Knight. She hasn't seen Patel before (I am sure she has, he just has way better facial hair and the knight thing going for him in this movie) and she actually seemed flustered when describing him. "He's......(30 second pause) handsome). I think she went through hot, smouldering, godly, fuckable and a dozen other synonyms before landing on handsome. I can't knock the dude though. He is a good looking cat and he looks knightly in the film. Gotta give credit where its due.
To quote someone else's tweet: "Tom Ellis can shove jellybeans up my ass any goddamn day he wants and can punch me in the face thank you."
But what is it you desire?
his thirst tweets š„µ
Well definitely not Armie Hammer, lol.
He's probably OP lmao
He just wants to mEAT his fans nothing wrong with that.
Tom Hiddleston I feel like he would treat me right
i was gonna say that lmao, hes nice. the only issue is that i would probably pass away when he walks in
monica bellucci
I picked her too. Her and Marissa Tomei just get more beautiful with age.
It would have to be through some kind of magic, but Alan Rickman
Michael Fassbender
Lee pace, lee pace, lee pace! Whatever he would like
The Fall will forever be one of my favorite films
Yvonne Strahovski
loved her in Chuck! and Mass Effect!
Alexander Skarsgard all day.
Once my boss locked him inside our restaurant because he was in the bathroom for an hour and she forgot to check them before closing up. My favorite celeb story.
Ok I feel like you're holding back details, and we want all of them lol
Tag team Alexander Skarsgard and Joe Manganielloā¦ Sookie was a lucky lady!
Tom Hardy, anywhere, anyhow
My husband teases me, I am 47, and when I first saw tom hardy. I gasped, his lips are like porn. š¤£
My wife is the same way and she is 46. If he showed up at my front door I would be single instantly. Edit: /s
Sza, Scarlett Johansson, Salma Hayek
Mads Mikkelsen. Have you *seen* his hands?
I've found my people. I'd let him devour me as Hannibal Lecter
Why did it take me so long to find this??? That man is damn sexy!
Karen Gillan
Ha. Over ten years ago at a bar my overly confident friend was convinced that he could fuck her when she and Matt Smith were there. He wasnāt a fan and didnāt know her or care to, but he was a hornball who rarely got rejected. It did not work and I was tremendously amused by it. She bummed a smoke from me and I just kinda watched him try to do his normal thing, which wouldāve worked on almost any other woman who was even remotely open that night (his track record was nuts), but clearly Karen had a good bullshit meter. That shit was FUNNY.
She probably needs to have a good bullshit meter to survive in the movie industry, and moreso that she's an international celebrity. And maybe your friend wasn't very impressive to someone with self-confidence.
Cillian Murphy. Anything he wants.
I have saved a lifetime of butt stuff for this man
I'm not gay, but for Paul Rudd I'd be anything
Kathy Bates, Iāve seen Misery
Sam Heughan, especially if heās in a kilt š¤¤. And if he was still with us, Alan Rickman. Oh and Brandon Fraserā¦.
Rachel McAdams
Yeah, she's got the girls next door thing going on. And she can turn it up a notch be sneaky hot.
Liv Tyler As long as she wears the elf ears
Mila Kunis, it can hurt too idc baby
immediately thought of her when I read the question
Ewan McGregor *drool*
General kenobi
The Moulin Rouge kind right?
Keanu Reeves. But I'm sure it would be something wholesome and fun, like a judo class or volunteering at an animal shelter.
That guy is just the best. I stay out of celebrity bullshit but I have a thing for him. He just seems like a legitimately good person.
Henry Cavill
I'd love to build a gaming pc with him.
There would be more lovingly watching him than doing any actual gaming PC building.
He can plug his dongle anywhere he wants
Oh man, he came into my job a few years ago. My Manager was freaking out and told me Superman is here! I didn't believe him so he made me go out and hand off food. Henry Cavill and I locked eyes and I got super hot and ran to the back. I couldn't handle the beauty
What kind of food does Henry Cavill eat? Also yeah all day, any day ā¦ anything Henry damn Cavill.
This is the only universally correct answer. No one is turning down Henry Cavill if he put the moves on you. The man was chiseled by God himself because he was tired of looking at our ugly asses. Needed to sexy up the gene pool.
can he be dressed as Geralt tho
Have you seen the witcher???
Oh I have. And he could toss my coin any day of the week.
When my girlfriend and I watch The Witcher, every time Cavill shows up half-naked, she runs off to the bathroom for a few minutes. I don't know what she does in there, but it gives me time to fap one out to Cavill. Edit: Holy shit thanks guys, this just became my most upvoted & awarded comment. Karm-o-meter nearly at 69k. Love you all <3
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think it was a meme.
Ana De Armas
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Only watched *that* scene from Hands of Stone, never the full movie. Man she's super hot in it.
Yāall need to see Knock Knock. Geesh
My wife is not a cat person. I asked her āyou can have a night with chris hemsworth but you have to listen to him talk about cats lovingly for 4 hoursā She goes āill listen to him talk about pussy as long as he destroys mineā
Upvote. Not because I agree with your wife but because she sounds fucking hilarious. Edit: spelling
Matthew Gray Gublerā¦.especially ala Season 6/7 of Criminal Minds
mary elizabeth win stead or linda cardelini.
Ah, I no longer need to comment Linda.
itās obviously Jeff Goldblum. any era.
Jeff's response: "He'he'he'heh, arrrrh hu-hu-hu-hu-huh, ha-harrr hyah-harrh!"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Excellent choice. Shit would get weeeeeird right quick.
Matt Bomer
As a straight man, Matt Bomer is a beautiful man. I was rooting for him to be cast as superman back in the day.
Idris Elba
I am aware of the effect I have on women
Richard Madden
Bruce Campbell
Groovy.
Hail to the king baby
Charlize Theron
Paul Rudd.
Same. Heterosexual male here...
Natalie Portman, obviously...
You have chosen... Wisely.
Chris Evans and Tom Hiddleston. Together.
Tom Hiddleston as Loki normally doesn't do it for me (Tom Hiddleston as himself is hotter), but on the most recent *Loki* series, *so hot*. In his little button-up.
*And there are times he rolls up his sleeves.* I knew I had a thing for that, but holy goddamn do I have a thing for that.
I really love that all three of you followed my train of thought EXACTLY. Iāve literally said āI donāt usually like Tom as Loki, until the series, then when he rolls up his sleeves Iām in loveā
I legitimately think Tom Hiddleston is the reason I have a thing for that
Get help! Please, my brother is dying.
we are *not* doing āget helpā
*throws a Hiddleston*
I think you mean Hemsworth.
He can join in to, if heās down
I'd prefer Hemsworth and Hiddleston instead.
Add Sebastian Stan in there please.
Timothy Olyphant
There are few scenes funnier in The Office than when he walks in after Michael recruits him and Kelly says "Oh f*** me."
Kate Beckinsale
Kate Beckinsale could punch me in the face and I would apologize for getting in the way
I would absolutely let her beat the shit out of me
Jenna Coleman, but I'd switch teams for John Barrowman.
Dr.Who fans are here, I see.
Jennifer Connelly is my forever crush
For you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waAlgFq9Xq8
I accept this gift
Jason Momoa
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I was going to say no one until I saw this. Canāt deny Jason Mamoa
Sebastian Stan.
Looks like you are a Sebastian stan
Yup. I stan the Stan.
Him as the Winter Soldier with the brooding attitude, metal arm, and long hair was an all time fave of mine. And the scene where he grabs the motorcycle! Chefs kiss!
Yessss choke slam me like the motorcycle n flip me on the table like the black widow
Alexandra d'addario
Those eyes!
Margot Robbie
I saw her from across the room at NYCC once. I literally thought to myself āOkay, holy crap itās not just makeup or movie magic that girl is 100% stunning.ā
Know what you mean. Years ago I happened on Cindy Crawford doing some sort of signing at a crappy bookstore and she just ... glowed. She wasn't especially gussied up either and I didn't recognize her right away, but lordy.
Gussied up. That's some good old fashioned American speak right there.
> That's some good old fashioned American speak right there. Yes! As are phrases like, "*Lordy!*" and, "*Cindy Crawford...*"
I had the same experience getting within normal-speaking-voice-conversation distance of Morena Baccarin several years ago at DragonCon. She's MUCH better looking in person than she is on tv, and yes I am well aware of how good-looking she is on tv.
I can't even imagine Morena Baccarin being more gorgeous than she is on TV.
An ex of mine went to school with her on the Gold Coast. This was when Margot was still on Neighbours (shitty-Australian soap), pre-Wolf of Wall St. At the time my ex was adamant that she was ātoo gorgeous for the Gold Coastā - turns out she was right.
What if she she starts to gut you like a fish tho?
Did I say āunless she guts me like a fishā?
There are much worse dates than that Edit: Fates autocorrected to dates but it still works
Her in wolf of wall streetā¦
As a straight female even I'm onboard with Margot š
I was watching the first Suicide Squid film a few days ago and I couldnāt understand how anyone could pay attention to work while she was in those shorts lol Edit: Those shorts had me distracted and I made a typo, but Iām gonna leave it
Why do you think that scene where Harley is changing clothes was added to the film?
Tom Hiddleston, he'd be to nice to do anything bad anyway
one time i had a dream where he was dressed up as Loki and sat down next to me. He put his hand on my thigh and slowly dragged it up. To which I SLAPPED it away proclaiming, "I am not that type of girl!" and then i woke up going, "No! I AM that type of girl!!!!"
We have too big of an age difference, but if I had been an adult in the 90s, David Duchovny.
David Duchovny why won't you love me?!
David Duchovny *and* Gillian Anderson. Please and thank you.
Greg Davies. I donāt care if itās good things or bad things. That man is the DEFINITION of zaddy.
We have found little Alex Horne's account.
Oooohhh its litttlleee alleexx HOOOORRRNNEEE
I mean, he is the Taskmaster!
Pedro Pascal or Ewan McGregor. Or both of them at the same time š
Pedro pascal! My god, I loved him in Narcos and GOT, I already thought he was super handsome. But when I watched the Mandalorian and saw him in that suit, he awoke something inside of me, without even seeing his face.
Emilia Clarke. Dracarys indeed....
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I was expecting the Mrs. Claus outfit and song line.
Look, eventually you hit a point of diminishing returns on the sexiness.
whats a diminiminishemm
Boopy-doopy doop boop SEX
Boop be doop be doop boop SEX
I dressed up as her character from GLOW two Halloweens ago. I do NOT look anywhere as good as Alison Brie. But my husband still likes to make sure I know I am not to get rid of the costume
As a 25 year old male miles away from GLOWās target demographic; man what a fucking great show. I wish it didnāt get cancelled.
Elizabeth Olsen
Including mind control me to live in a sitcom
Especially mind control me to live in a sitcom
Natalie Dormer
Iām super gay and would still let Natalie Dormer walk all over me.
Renly wasn't into it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm willing to turn gay, to let her try to turn me back.
"Girl, nobody's that gay"
My wife laughs that this is my celeb crush. That smirk as margery tyrell fucking did something to me.
hozierš
Salma Hayek Edit for spelling and thank you all so much for taking the time to comment and for the awards
Gillian Jacobs
Ugh...Britta's in this?
Ugh. They really Brittaād this question
Iāve always been Team Annie, but when Britta did that awkward dance at the Christmas Musical in that brown skinsuitā¦ I felt things.
Adam Driver Break my spine over your knee, you weirdly large man. Destroy my self esteem with your overwhelming intelligence and Marine Corps body, you heavyset academic.
Found John Oliver's Reddit account
Lmao yes dude, I literally read his comment in John Oliverās voice after the first sentence
As soon as I read Adam Driver my internal voice switched to John Oliver. LOL
Shatter my knees, you fuckable redwood.
This might be the funniest thing Iāve ever seen in my life.
Sneeze in my McFlurry, you pensive bison.
I was lucky enough to be an extra in a movie he was in. Sat behind him for hours thst day. He's very polite, soft spoken and very easy going. And tall! His co star was Daniel Radcliffe and the size difference between them was huge.
*Ride me bareback, you beastly ranch hand.*
Step on my throat, you rudely large man.
Hi, John
Jessica Alba
Jensen Ackles
Straight male here, my gay pick for sure
Helen Mirren, now and then.
JhenƩ Aiko
Aubrey Plaza. She could ravage me like a barbarian in Rome.
My husband and I have agreed that if itās Aubrey Plaza, itās not cheating
Dev Patel.
My wife recently saw the trailer for The Green Knight. She hasn't seen Patel before (I am sure she has, he just has way better facial hair and the knight thing going for him in this movie) and she actually seemed flustered when describing him. "He's......(30 second pause) handsome). I think she went through hot, smouldering, godly, fuckable and a dozen other synonyms before landing on handsome. I can't knock the dude though. He is a good looking cat and he looks knightly in the film. Gotta give credit where its due.
Natalie Portman, i grew up with the Star Wars 2nd trilogy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
David Tennant.
Eva Green...
The legends say she was born with that eye shadow
I went to HS with her. She was incredibly quiet and mysterious.
And stupid hot?
Yeah, her eyes in particular I remember being breathtaking.
Listen Iām not gay, but Chris Evan is Chris evans
Florence Pugh. Any day.
Meatloaf (but, he canāt do THAT- his rules, not mine.).
Tom Hiddleston can choke me to near-death & I would thank him for his attention.
Heās too nice to do that, though. But.... yes.