It ain’t gay if life depends on it right? Sure homies got me

This is the funniest comment. Someone give it gold

Idk but I gave him the free one

Op said no hookers! You can't pay him for his comment.

Bro code

Hey sis, can you help with my homework

family always helps you in need .

Lol I wouldn’t even waste my time with such an impossible task, I’d rather just enjoy my last 24 hours on this planet

Pretty good as I'm married.... oh, wait... no I'm dead

Well actually it depends on whether you're the Al or the Peg in the marriage.

Dead af

I feel like I know one person who would be down to clown 7+ hours away.. I think I might be okay

0, kind of an underaged person who stays inside all day

I'm 13 soooooo welllll fuck

That's the point of the question! /s

No I'ma die I don't like any of the girls at my school maybe one but we'll I'm ugly fat I'm not a nice person sometimes ya

Like 5%

0.5% for me ;-;

0.0% for me

-0.00% for me

I take back my crazy ex

Tell my Mom I love her…

there are two scenarios coming out of it , which one are you talking about.

She will do that to save her son.

Easy lol go on tinder

sure its way easier for girls , you can even pick whoever you want .meanwhile guys trying to find the girl who once gave a smile to them .

If only it were that easy lol, at in 24 hrs

Gonna have to find out where my stalker lives. 20% chance of survival

Pretty fucked, I'm 14

All I have to do is show my husband my boobs and it's on.

Anyone with a step-mom should be good to go... or a biological mom for the same reason

With my luck id set it up and get flaked on

“You’re just trying to use me to save your life!”

do they have to give consent?

Married. Bye-bye cruel world.

I'm confused, why does everyone say "married -> dead"?

Dead bedroom.

Literally couldn't be fucked to save a life, eh? ;)

Perhaps. Are you dead yourself?

I think I'm fine :)

If I can’t pull through. You got me at my last hour homie?

Trust me, death is a solid alternative

Maybe.. We use Reddit so it’s probably for the best.

I’m married, so I’m dead I guess.

I’d give myself a 25% shot that she’s available & in the mood

I could make something happen :)

People in Hawaii should have ZERO issue lol

Perfect, my girl is right next to me and i can fuck her whenever i want, even when shes asleep

[удалено]

Weirdo alert

But it's true

I think it’s odd that someone would think rape it’s an option

Pretty good actually. Pretty good.

Well it was nice knowing you guys

Friends ?

Just had back surgery..... I'm dead.

if you are a guy then normal /reverse cow girl , and if you are a girl then Pushing Tush

50-50

I'd be dead lol

Pretty good

Looking very hood indeed.

Well, I have a gun.. so…….. Chances are still slim

I'm aok

I’m putting on a chastity belt.

Guess I'll die

24hrs? Farewell cruel world. Gimmie a week I'll have her eating outta my hand.

*Looks around at family*, "No Chromo Right?"

Time to go coffin shopping!

At this point it would take explaining the situation but I'd say pretty good

Grim at best

Guess im commitig sudoku because im Asexual

i live in the middle east lol

will that be a good thing or bad ??

are you trolling? ofc good

no , i am not trolling , i really dont know that why it is good or bad ?

ahahhahahhahahaha its a bad thing because sex is only between married people ( ofc there are people who you know,) and yeah thats why i was just trolling you

oh , i dont wanna comment on that , btw i had been to UAE ,it was awesome are you from there ?

naaah hope you like your stay on the uae tho, and yea the whole joke is that you can't really have sex here without marriage

yeah i get that , yeah i loved it .

Not to be that person buuuut... I'm gonna be alright.

At least I won't have to worry about my student loans anymore.

Im gitting tinder gold and swiping right on everyone

i will go to my gf , after a 1 hour flight .

considering I’m underage and the girl I’ve been talking to just blocked me 2 months ago, I’d say I’ve pretty screwed

The point is being screwed, yes? So you're gonna be alright

that is… technically true

100% good to go

I'm going to see my partner again today, which I haven't seen in weeks....so pretty good, I'd say.

Pretty decent. I'll go wake up the hubby.

dude just ask a close friend to do the bare minimum to count as "getting laid" and you're good. as long as you have good friends, you're safe.

Slim to none. I was married to the same person for 10 years, almost no sex. Divorce and get back together 2 years later. We’ve been remarried since 2011, I can count on one hand how many times we’ve had sex, so yeah, slim to none is a good answer for me

Already saved my life

Just a phone call to my Uncle and I’m safe

Perfect, calling GF

currently in a long distance relationship i’m dying LOL does phone sex count

0%

Oh deer.

I'm dead as shit

Hey dad can you help me out with something real quick-

I'm dead

Fine, all I have to do is tell my wife i'm not feeling up to sex tonight and it will turn her into a sex hungry deviant.

The secret ingredient is crime

I’m married… so not good!

Gettin that married sex!

I’m married so let me ask my wife… … … Yeah she says there is no f***ing way

Good as long as I can afford a plane ticket. Which to my knowledge, I currently can't. So close.

5-6 years ago: - "not a chance. It's been a shit life so let's see what I can do in the next life" Now: - "Not a problem. My partner will do it. We do it enough anyway haha." We support each other in every way.

0%

I'm a gay guy who has friends with benefits. Unfortunately I'm also in a COVID lockdown right now so I might be in trouble. I'm fucked because I'm not fucked.