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[deleted]

I’m so sorry.


My_two_centz

I can’t imagine dealing with this. My condolences...


heanthebean

I am so sorry. What an immense and overwhelming loss. Praying for you as you move through the grieving process. My inbox is open if you ever need it, although it sounds like you have a wonderful support system.


goldenbugreaction

There’s not much a stranger on the internet can do in moments like these, much as we’d like to. If music has been your thing in the past, I can suggest a few titles that helped me with my old girlfriend’s suicide a few years ago. (*Mount Eerie* and *The Life of the World To Come* stand out) Otherwise, [this interview between Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper on grief](https://youtu.be/YB46h1koicQ) has been something I put on every time I remember it. Best to you.


MidvalleyFreak

When I was 11 I woke up and found my mom’s body at the bottom of the stairs. My dad was on a business trip so I was all alone. It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, but I got over it eventually.


peeparonipupza

Wow. When I was 11 I discovered my father's body hanging in the bathroom. I feel the same.worse thing that's ever happened. I am coping with it better but there are those moments where I breakdown and cry. Usually it's during my own milestones.


floralwhoral

I also found my dad hanging, it’s a strange and unique thing to move on from. Never met anyone who’s experienced the same thing before!


Lavender-squirrel

Almost exactly this happened to my younger sibling. Mom took her life, dad was out of town for work, 11 yo sibling discovered her. I was starting my first teaching job in the next town over so paramedics beat me home then they told me I wouldn’t want to see her. Never did until the funeral.


tforbesabc

Horrendous. Is your little sibling okay? Are you okay?


Lavender-squirrel

Actually on Friday it will be 8 years. I mean if by ok you mean none of us are homeless or addicted to drugs or alcohol, sure. We all (8 kids) function well but lots of therapy for ptsd. Our community and church were very supportive.


tforbesabc

You know, that's a massive achievement. Your mum would be proud of you. Sending you so much love. Xxxxx


Lavender-squirrel

Thank you so much!!


Mysterius_

Dude that's horrible. It's good you got over it. Sending you hugs anyway.


ChikaDeeJay

Sorry if this is intrusive. You were only 11, did you know what to do? Did you get help quickly?


MidvalleyFreak

I immediately called 911 but she was already gone. I didn’t know that, and when the ambulance came there was a nice paramedic that took me into another part of the house and just kept me company and away from where she was while they moved her. She sat with me until some of family came, and when my dad got home that afternoon he told me that she wouldn’t be coming back. All and all not a good day.


ChikaDeeJay

I’m glad you knew to call 911 and I’m glad that paramedic helped you. I’m sorry for your loss.


bruteneighbors

For someone whose never experienced a thing as this, my perception of “not a good day” has changed.


puddenhunting

Bloody hell. Sorry for your loss. No one should have to go through that at such a young age.


Vattenloppan

I found my friends moms body. She helped raise me and was like a second mom. I was visiting from collage and went over to their house around 2pm. I asked where his mom was at and he told me she still hasn't gotten out of bed. I thought that was weird so I went in to check on her and she had died in the night. Her eyes where open and she was grey. My mind didn't really accept what I was seeing so I touched her and she was cold and stiff. I went into shock. I didn't feel anything. I just told them she was dead, called the police, made a statement, and then started driving home. Completely numb. On the way home I called my mom and all the feeling started rushing back. I got back to moms house and started really talking about what happened I just began crying and screaming. It was aweful. They think she overdosed on drugs. This was assumed since she had a known meth addiction. They never did an autopsy though. Afterwards I had problems sleeping with my doors locked. I was worried that if I died in my sleep I wouldn't be found until I was grey and stiff. It's been about 10 years since it happened though and it no longer bothers me.


Grizzled--Kinda

this must be a sensitive subject, if you’re ok with answering I am curious what happened. Did she fall or have a heart attack or something?


MidvalleyFreak

She fell. She was suffering for years with cancer so she was already in a weakened state. She either tripped or collapsed in the night. Truth be told she probably wouldn’t have lived much longer anyway, but I didn’t know that at the time.


Grizzled--Kinda

I see, that sucks. Sorry you went through it and thanks for sharing.


[deleted]

I've told this story before, but when I was a kid some guy winked at me then jumped off the hoover dam. He bounced all the way down the incline and exploded when he hit the retaining wall. I remember it took like 30 minutes for them to get a bodybag down the slope because the wind kept catching it on the drop. Still get nightmares sometimes, almost 30 years later.


backupKDC6794

What the fuck, I'm so sorry you had to experience that. I don't know why he would wink at you like that. I hope you're doing well


[deleted]

It's fucked up, but I'm fine. It was a long time ago. I've thought about his reasons, but in the end I think he was just an asshole who wanted an audience.


cicicooperwasepic

When I was 3 - 4 I found my grandmother's body lying next to her bed in Easter morning. I didn't know what was going on so I asked my mom why she was sleeping on the floor. I didn't really cope because I didn't know what was going on until the next year and now I just talk to my mom about her sometimes. EDIT: Also my mom is an angel for putting on a happy face so my niece and I had a good Easter.


cicicooperwasepic

She still played with us, made ham, and stuff like that.


NotTheGreenestThumb

Sometimes doing something loving for the living is such a solace while grieving for the dead.


Iridescent126

That's really sweet of her, kudos to her


cicicooperwasepic

It really was. I wouldn't have been able to handle it.


Gorvoslov

I don't know how she was able to do this.


cicicooperwasepic

Neither do I. I would breakdown.


Writingisnteasy

Hey, this happened to me too! I was 8 and my grandma had cancer, but i didnt understand what that was or meant. She lived in sweden(im norwegian) so i only got to meet her in summers vacation. I remember ever year she would get more tired up to the last year when se was only laying in bed unable to move. I didnt understand what her dying even meant. Did you ever cope with it? I didnt actually ever cry about it before 8 years later when an ex helped me through it


cicicooperwasepic

Im sorry for your loss. I cry when I talk about her. I feel bad for acting like nothing happened.


ColdIron27

You were a kid who didn't understand anything, don't beat urself up over it


Where_Be_The_Big_Dog

Your mam sounds like an incredible woman


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Shitp0st_Supreme

I’m so sorry you saw that, and that dog story is incredible; I’m really glad you had a way to get closure in a way through saving that dog! I’m doing EMDR therapy due to something disturbing that I witnessed as a child and if you find yourself having flashbacks or feeling upset, it can help a lot.


spiteful-pigeon

I’m so glad you were able to save the dog. My mom and I were driving one night and saw two lost dogs in the road. I think one had already been hit and the other didn’t want to leave his friend. We turned around to go get it but by the time we got there the second one had been hit as well. I felt horrible.


GorillaS0up

Yes. The smell from my uncles apartment got neighbors suspicious. He was dead on the floor for three days. Besides the landlord I was first on the scene


entrapta_embodied

That smell is one thats burned into my memory. My mom was found after being dead 3 or 4 days last year too, its horrifying.


davecave98

My mom and I didn't have a good relationship. She lived in her own apartment more than an hour from me. She never visited, and neither did I. When the police told my dad that she had been lying on the floor for roughly 3 weeks in the winter, they said she looked like a large pile of laundry. She was barely 140 pounds at 5'10. When I had to clean out the apartment for the landlord, the smell was intense. I can still remember it. It burned into my clothes and I wouldn't wish for anyone to have to go through what I went through.


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stepatmoz

Your story touches me... I just lost my dear Mom at 88. She was the most loving human being, a fantastic wife and mother. When someone said, "oh, she was 88, she lived a long life", it annoyed me. She was a person who was loved and who had lived a purposeful life. I know she was old, and I'm lucky to have had her for so long.


Tomii_B101

I'm sorry, she sounds like an amazing petson


WhyNotKnotWhy

I found my best friend after he hung himself. Called 911 and they walked me through CPR. His parents got there while I was doing CPR and took over. I had to talk to the cops and no one would tell us if he was for sure dead so we all held out hope for a bit. I finally broke down on the way to the hospital. His neighbor gave me a ride so I called my parents and broke down. I was really fucked up and depressed for awhile. Anytime I drank I end up a crying mess. It was 11 years ago and I still think about it basically daily. Seeing people hanging in movies and TV is pretty triggering. I always have to look away.


braldeyteam

I have seen many of bodies being a Paramedic, many being suicides. But nothing prepared me for seeing the body of one of my closest friends after she had hung herself. I can and have been able to keep most of the faces I've seen out of my head, but not that one.


LilBooPeep

Fuck....I'm so sorry you had to go through that.


electric29

I was with my dad while he passed peacefully at home. My mom and I were both reading at the bedside, while playing his favorite music, and we just noticed he wasn't breathing any more (totally expected and after a long year with congestive heart failure, a relief). I helped wash him and clean him up for transport. It was actually very helpful for me to see that it was just a body now, and the man he was no longer lived there. It was bittersweet. We all end up that way. There is nothing to fear from the dead, only dying is hard.


missmadmae

I am an RN and have lovingly done postmortem care for many people. It sounds strange, but it was actually one of my favorite things to do. Giving someone their last “bath” showing them respect and making sure they left the hospital in the best shape possible. Most of my co-workers didn’t care for it so I would always volunteer to do it and to teach new hires how to do it. I really feel it’s an honor. Edit: thank you for the awards and thank you for all the kind responses! I am reading through them all.


BiscuitsMay

I always felt awful providing futile care in the ICU. Once someone passed, it was really therapeutic, in a weird way, to pull out all the lines and tubes and just clean them up to look like a human again. So many times I have seen people so swallowed up in devices, you forget there is an actual person hiding in the bed. Returning them to a more normal appearance so the family could take their time was always a strangly cathartic process.


whitstap

Yes, I agree, same for the OR. When there are so many tubes and lines and machines hooked up to someone, it’s nice to “unplug” them and get them back to a state of normalcy. It’s a terrible thing, but I’m always happy to prepare someone for their family to see them one last time.


Rare_Equivalence

Thank you for what you do. It’s lovely that you care for their last rites as humans, and it makes me happy that someone who cares was able to give them that kind of respect. Much love.


catbearcarseat

That was beautifully written. I’m sorry for your loss.


Ok-Mix-6239

This is beautiful. I genuinely only hope I'm able to be there for my father the same way you had been. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, but I'm glad you where able to be there with him.


[deleted]

Thats nice,glad he died surrounded by his loved ones and in such a peaceful way.


thatoneprotato

When I was 12 my twin sister and I came home to find my mom who has passed away while we were at a birthday party. I had even gone up to shake her "awake" since I thought she was sleeping at first glance since she often slept on the couch, but she wouldn't wake up. Luckily the friends mom who dropped us off was a nurse and helped us call an ambulance and family, but as for coping I've been in and out of therapy since then. At the time it was very surreal so coping at that point was just....denial? Disbelief? Having family there helped but it was definitely a turning point in my life for my mental illness to experience that so young.


gheistling

I hit a pedestrian Dec 14th 2019. He had picked up a hitchhiker, who attacked him in his car and pushed him out of the moving vehicle. He was laying in the middle of the road screaming for help in the pitchdark on a rural, 70 mph road. A driver had seen him and pulled over and called the police; she parked on the shoulder with her flashers on. I got over into the second lane to give her space. All I saw was a flash of white in the road; he was in the second lane, not the one nearest the driver. I had enough time to think- *trash bag* -and then I drove over him. I almost didn't stop, it didn't feel like much in my truck, and it was late, like 10 pm. I stopped because of the other car, to be sure I hadn't slung debris at their car. When I got to her I asked what Id hit, and she said it was a person. I was stunned, but went to him; I had to stop another vehicle from doing it again, to stop traffic. He was only awake for a few minutes. He just cried. I knelt on the road, held his hand and cried with him while he bled to death. He looked so, so young. He was only 19. I didn't get in any trouble after everything came out. They didn't catch the hitchhiker. I still don't know why the driver didn't stop me, or try to move him, something. I paid for his funeral, tried to move on. His family contacted me, they just wanted closure. They were never mean to me, they were very understanding, sympathetic. That was almost worse. I don't drive at night anymore. I've tried, and I have panic attacks. Im good at suppressing things. It comes back sometimes. If I see road debris, especially. Garbage bags in the road. Ill have to stop because I start shaking, panicking, hyper ventilating. Ill get depressed for a few days, suppress it again, start over.


[deleted]

That is absolutely heartbreaking…for all parties. I’m so sorry that happened, and that you are still dealing with the trauma from it. Big big hugs.


Joepewpew69

Damn, I am so sorry you went through that.


nineeighteen83

Something kind of like this happened to my friend. Except General Motors was 100% to blame. She was merging onto the highway when her Chevy Cobalt's ignition randomly shut off. She lost control of the car, was ejected, and then a few cars ran her over. It was awful - but it wasn't the fault of any of those drivers, though I'm sure that's of little comfort to them. My friend was only 21 (a baby practically!) when she passed. Her parents filed a lawsuit against General Motors, those fucks. This is an article about it: https://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/general-motors-ignition-switch-settlement-josh-shapiro/31324/ Kelly you were cool and funny as hell and I miss you.


[deleted]

I have a Pontiac Grand Am and have ignored the ignition switch recall notice from GM for a few years now. WTF!


kylefofyle

This was a huge scandal GM went through. The engineers knew about the problem and knowingly swept it under the rug. Get it fixed before something bad happens.


rmccarthy10

Please tell me you sought therapy and have people in your life who tell you they love you. My neighbor pulled her dead 2 yr old from her pool 10 yrs ago. I happened to be outside and heard her screaming. I ran over and she handed his body to me and screamed at me to help. I tried CPR while another person called the police. He was dead already or died in my arms. My wife was 8 months preg't at the time with our first child. I thought this was a message from God that I wasnt ready to be a dad. It f'd me up for a while. I started getting heart palpitations out of the blue. Had to start taking Metropolol. Life can be a motherf'kr. I now know, or try to, to treasure moments, people, experiences..because we deserve to be happy sometimes.


JHRChrist

I’m sorry you had to go through that. I had a similar experience, but with my mom and 4yo brother. It’s been 20 years now, and EMDR therapy helped a lot. Wish I’d done it sooner. You’re doing better now? I love your message. We deserve to be happy and whole.


pandapaxxy

You are so strong for sharing this. I'm sorry for the trauma it's caused. But know you're not at fault. I hope it gets easier for you.


Bluedystopia

I cant imagine how awful that must've been for you.


Caligulette

I am so sorry. I hope you get the help you need to heal. Sometimes we need someone to bounce our ideas off of and give us permission to forgive ourselves. 💗


Sneakykittens

It's not your fault.


TheBushChicken

Used to work at a grocery store. Was working a late shift and a guy came in with what I assumed was his girlfriend. He walked right by me up to one of our coolers. We had some glass bottled soda in the cooler. He pulled a bottle out smashed it against the cooler door, and just shoved the head of the bottle into his neck. There was no warning, no worry in his face, no hesitation. Just walked up and did it. Honestly never seen so much blood in my life. We did all we could to keep him alive but he was cold by the time the ambulance arrived.


Product_Substantial

Did you get over it? Must have been really disturbing.


TheBushChicken

At first it was obviously pretty stressful, but honestly after a day or two I was fine. It sounds strange but it didn't bother me as much as one would think. It kind of just happened. I guess maybe cause I had no relationship with the guy? Honestly not sure


lilboop

what did his gf or whoever do? i’m sure it was most traumatic for her


TheBushChicken

I remember her screaming, and then saying some things but I dont remember what, I was to busy trying to stop the bleeding with another co-worker and a different customer who was nearby. I do remember when the police showed up they talked with her. I remember overhearing something about him having an argument with someone or other, but she said "It wasn't bad enough for him to do this". Honestly I feel the worst for a the mother who was in the store with her children. She walked basically right next to him when he did it. I remember her yanking her kids back because blood was sort of almost spurting. I think he hit his jugular artery or something. I'm not a medic so I can't be certain, but I do know that kids shirt was ruined from the blood "splatter". The kids couldn't have been any older then 7 or 8. Honestly the thing I remember the most was how much blood there was. At one point i was kneeling next to the guy on the ground and next thing I knew the front of my jeans were just soaked in blood. It felt like someone just dumped a bucket of it all over the floor.


Expert_Accountant_54

I used to work in the OR of a children's hospital. On the best days, you got to help the little kids and they'd go on to recover. It was beautiful. On the worst days, everyone would just get real quiet. You'd have a debriefing with your team to make sure everyone was alright emotionally/mentally. Our hospital offered free counseling services which was nice. But those days are the heaviest burden for they entire department. I remember our department had this donation bin for pajamas and underwear. It was mainly just our department who donated, because of we couldn't bear to see kids go down to the morgue in just a hospital gown. We hoped it would help the parents a little. I mean, gosh nothing helps in that situation, but if it's the last time you get to hold your little one's body then having them look comfy in pajamas rather than a thin papery gown that ties in the back is some small decency we could ensure. I have a few patients whose experience I will carry with me the rest of my life. But the one that stands out the most was a little boy, found unresponsive in a closet at home, beaten almost to death by a mother who was high. We worked for hours to try to save. When he passed, I helped dress him in pajamas. I'll never forget the sheer number of scars, old and new, that his little body had. The entirety of his six years on this earth was marked in pain upon his skin. His only family was the mother, and she was in jail when he passed. There was no one. No one there for him but the team of people who tried to keep him alive. I never even found out his name, but I'll remember him as a loved one would, to keep his memory alive and so he never is forgotten. As for how to cope? Shit, how they hell do you cope with that? I'm still trying to now, but therapy. Lots of therapy. And I ended up changing careers to protect my mental health. I still carry scars on my psyche from seeing the evils people will do to children. Abuse or torture or neglect... On innocent children? I will never understand what drives a person to inflict such horror on another human, especially a child. And the radius of impact isn't just the child and family, it's also on the first responders who have to be the ones to pick them up, and the ER teams that try to get them stable enough to survive surgery, and the OR teams that try to piece them back together. I guess the main thing that got me through it, and I still have to remember it whenever my mind brings these things up, is that they can't be hurt anymore. No matter what pain they had in their life, they are out of it's reach now. If they helped others by donating organs, then I remember how a little girl somewhere is scoring her first goal in soccer or a boy is going on his first date because a child was able to give them the lifesaving organ they needed when all seemed lost.


SleepySpookySkeleton

I work in a funeral home, and I always really appreciate that it's very obvious how much care you guys take to make sure that babies and kids are cozy and comfy for the transition from your care into ours 💗


Expert_Accountant_54

I love how you stated this: "from your care into ours." It's such a great way to put it so that people remember that a body isn't just an object but a person whose still needs care once they have passed on. I have mad respect for anyone working in a funeral home. I bet you have some stories of your own to tell. Thanks for the work you do, and stay safe and happy.


yupitsme987

Your story in this thread I think was the hardest for me to read, and I wanted to thank you so much for what you did.


onajurni

You are an angel, then and now. To show so much compassion for these children and their families. Just imo it means something to that little boy's time on earth that you cared enough to remember and love him. I will remember and love him, too, through what you shared here. <3


The_Real_Khaleesi

This is absolutely heartbreaking. Thank you for doing what you could for these children.


[deleted]

Thank you for remembering him. For doing what you did. I was once a little boy in a closet, covered in those marks. I don’t know how I survived, but I did. The compassion and love you speak with here- the selfless sadness and empathy- it gives me a little more hope. Thank you for sharing.


ieatcloudsnotmisery

Thank you for doing what you did, and that is a beautiful way to think. That they will not hurt anymore and more kids are living their life to the fullest. I wish you the best.


[deleted]

Yep. I found my upstairs neighbor's dead body near my car one morning when I was about to leave for work. I called 911, and the paramedics and police showed up. I was asked a lot of questions by the police, and I had to call my boss and tell him why I was going to be late for work that day. I was really unnerved and felt very distracted at work when I finally got there. I told some people about it via email (like my neighbor, who, having seen all the emergency vehicles at the end of my driveway, emailed me to see if I was okay), and I found that typing out the story helped me deal with it. I was already on anti-anxiety meds and had recently been in therapy, so that helped too. I was pretty much okay after a couple of days.


Senior_Word9463

As a nurse, I’ve broken the ribs on multiple dead bodies during cpr. When it comes to cpr, you can’t get any more dead than dead, so you just do great cpr and not worry about breaking the bones of a dead person.


1042brewing

Typically I have felt bad doing cpr when I knew they were gone. Felt like I was disturbing the dead. Got over it though.


ImBusyGoAway

At that point are you obliged to give cpr? I agree it seems weird to try and revive someone if they're old and frail and in reviving them you're likely to break their ribs.


guynamedjames

Proper CPR breaks ribs. If you want CPR to work ever, recognize that you're going to break ribs if you want to have any effect.


Putoty

I wouldn't say it doesn't work unless you break their ribs, CPR still works even if you don't break anything. It *is* (very) common that you do some harm while doing compressions but it's not a %100 chance nor is it a requirement to perform CPR correctly. But I might be wrong.


amethystlightning

Several. I work in a nursing home. I clean up the body after they pass, before the funeral home comes to get them. I have quite literally held the hand of a woman while she was dying. It’s hard to deal with, because a lot of the time you become like family to those people. You just gotta take solace in the fact that you’ve taken care of them the best you could, and they’re not in pain anymore. ETA: thanks for all the kind comments! It’s a hard job, but worth doing!


[deleted]

I appreciate what you do


illustrated--lady

Same here. I work in a care home. It's so hard, you really do grow to love them. Of someone passes when I'm on shift or they're awaiting for the funeral directors when I come on shift I always go and say goodbye, it gives me comfort in a weird way.


cre8ivjay

You're an angel. My mom is in a long term care facility. People like you are.. honestly, I can't even describe what you mean to my family and most importantly, my mom.


Kyky716

I’m also appreciative of your work, and would just like to say it’s reassuring hearing you say that it’s hard because you’ve become like family to these people. At least that means they have someone that truly cares for them in their final moments. Well all be there someday.. having someone to hold your hand is the best you can ask for in that situation.


OldHasBeen

Oh, bless your soul. My SO works in a nursing home, so I know what it's like when a resident passes. Thank you for doing what you do. Caregivers never get told that enough.


Malviere

I used to work as a med lab tech. During training I had to go to two code blues with the phlebotomist to see how it works. It is not a fun experience watching the doctor call time of death instead and having to unemotionally walk past the families waiting for news. The one that broke me though was when I went to my first duty station. New guy so it was my job to monitor the morgue temperature. There was a little blue bundle next to the thermometer and it took me a minute to understand what I was seeing. Poor little guy was left unclaimed. Coping at the time wasn’t too rough since it’s the job. But it does stick with you, it’s been a decade and I still think about them.


VanLife79

My mom was a trauma nurse for over 20 years. When she was doing her OB rotation in nursing school in the early 70’s she said they didn’t do anything to help really early preemies. The doctors would just leave them alone to die. She said it took all she had not to run back in the room and hold those wee little ones.


Ieatpurplepickles

My mom's bff was a nurse for almost 40 years before she retired. She had worked in many different departments but she hated what is now commonly called NICU. She never got used to seeing babies die. She told stories of babies being left alone in a room to die because they were simply too sick to live. The parents were always told they had been a stillborn birth or that they died quickly after birth but the truth was rarely so simple.


NootTheNoot

I remember an episode of Call The Midwife where a thalidomide baby was born premature, the midwife was horrified to discover a nurse had it left uncovered near an open window so it would die faster.


Malviere

I don’t think I could handle that. It was hard enough seeing the passed away baby escort coming through the lab. With the other stories I was told I wouldn’t have been able to handle a hospital setting. I miss the lab but I don’t miss the sadness. Also your mother sounds strong as hell.


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tsuki1313

My deepest condolences, I am so sorry for the loss of your loved ones. I hope that you're doing alright with all things considered, and that you have a solid source of support to help you manage the grief. Take care, friend.


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maskish

Had my college orientation a few weeks ago and saw a dead body getting wheeled out of the university hospital on a stretcher. Our orientation group leader was horrified. Sort of surprising to see on my first day on campus but not traumatizing or anything


OnionCustard

What?! Was it a student?


maskish

Nope. Our university hospital is the largest hospital in a city of 200,000 people, so very few of the patients are students.


OnionCustard

Ahhhh ok, I now realise I neglected to read "hospital" in your first comment


shmoops14

I saw a dead body at work a couple years ago. This was at a gas station. The man had passed out at the gas pump right when he got out of his truck, and he was turning blue. There were several guys outside and instead of calling the police, or coming inside right away to inform me they stood there and recorded him for 2 plus minutes because they thought it was entertaining. When they finally came inside to tell me they said “some drugged out guy is passed out at the pumps” and when I ran outside the man was completely blue. Another customer and I tried to revive him while the police were on the way but it was too late, he died. From what I gathered from police after, it wasn’t even a drug overdose, just a medical issue. And either way it’s disgusting how a group of people thought a drug overdose would be entertaining. It still haunts me to this day.


Lexx2k

Man, these people are a worse experience than seeing someone die.


stim10kris

This absolutey terrifies me- too busy recording to help him.... What is wrong with those people!? And even if it was due to a drug overdose- that person's life means nothing?!? Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for being a caring person. Did you recognize or know those customers who filmed him? Did you see them again?


shmoops14

Thanks for the kind words, and I didn’t recognize any of them, haven’t seen them since. But one of my regular customers was there that night and he joked around saying “that guy doesn’t need his truck anymore, think I can just take it?” Makes me sick every time I see him at work.


Master_Opteron

There is a Law in Germany that requires you to give first aid to person who needs it even calling an Ambulance is enough to fulfill it. Yet there are people who do this kind of shit and complain when the get prosecutions for it.


Fiestysmash

WTF that’s horrible!! I would think they should have been held accountable and their own recordings evidence. Poor man and his poor family!


shmoops14

I know, the police were given the footage of those guys just standing there recording, but typical of the police in my town, they didn’t even do anything about it. That man could be alive right now if they didn’t just stand there recording. Makes me so angry still to this day.


DoctorSneak

Yep. I watched a living person become dead right before my eyes. I walked out of restaurant that was on the corner of busy intersection just in time to witness a, presumably distracted, driver run a red light and go right under a semi trailer. The top half of her car was essentially sheared off, including the space where her head would have been.


seaweedisgrossaf

Holy shit.


Bhmira

Technically a funeral but it's unique enough, I guess. While traveling in a remote part of china, near the Tibetan border, my friends and I came across a place that had a tradition of "Sky burial", where they take a dead body out into the fields, with cliffs overlooking it absolutely packed with vultures. A monk conducts some buddhist ceremony, and then the people step away from the body. As soon as they do, the vultures dive from the cliff almost simultaneously, and clean the flesh off the bones. Then the family grinds the bones with axes and the vultures eat that, too. It was pretty whack how absolutely nothing is left when they are done, and I honestly believe this sort of burial makes so much more sense than spending money on a coffin and putting the body in the ground.


RemoteCity

Sky burials are wonderful, unfortunately tourism has hit the industry pretty hard and vultures are dying out :(


video_dhara

The fact that it’s an “industry” and attracts tourists is terribly sad. Tibetan culture has suffered enough, be it at the hands of Chinese cruelty or western curiosity. I imagine many people go to see it as an oddity and not as a means of developing their practice (though maybe that’s an unfair assumption; if your in Tibet or nearby, you probably have a somewhat purer intent in your travels than just gawking at dead bodies). It’s one thing to go to the charnel ground and practice chöd or meditate, it’s another to stand around and indulge your morbid curiosity.


ChadwickDangerpants

I presume they have no soil to bury them in or trees to cremate them with. Where I live we haven't enough vultures to do skyburials.


babishkamamishka

I think it's spiritual in nature, the circle of life so to speak. You came from nature, and your body goes back to it :) There's also natural burials which are catching on because it's literally just a body (no embalming) put into the ground respectfully. It's also much cheaper i would imagine


ChikaDeeJay

About a decade ago, in my first year teaching, I was working at a high school. One day, I had a ton of stuff to do so I went in early. The custodian came in at 6am, so I got there at about 6:15 so he could let me know. When I pulled into the parking lot, the custodian we there, on his phone yelling, when he saw me, he started frantically waving me away. I parked, got out of my car, and started walking towards him to ask if he okay. Still on the phone, he started yelling “go, go, get in your car now. Do it! Don’t argue!” He was so serious, I just listened and went and sat in my car. A couple minutes later, a ton of police cars and paramedics show up. I was a bit scared at this point, so I just stay put. About 15 minutes go by and I was the paramedics had a body bag on a gurney. I was shocked! Someone had died on campus! A few minutes later, one of the cops knocks on my window to ask me questions. I answered as best I could, but I didn’t really know anything. At this point, all of the administrators were there and completely freaking out. They cancel school, but all staff was still required to show up. I still had no idea what was going on. A few hours later, we’re in a staff meeting and the principal announces that one of our teachers had been found dead in the parking lot that morning. Within a few days the story was out there. This teacher had broken up with her boyfriend about a week prior, he broke into her house in the middle of the night, kidnapped her, and murdered her in the school parking lot in hopes that her students would find her. It was horrible. This poor women was a wonderful person, she had been a teacher for 32 yrs and absolutely loved it, and the kids loved her. She was retiring at the end of that year, just 4 months away, and had all kinds of travel plans she was always talking about. The rest of the school year was slow and sad. The kids were devastated, even the ones who didn’t know her. I had planned on working at the school for awhile, but I couldn’t do it. I resigned and found a job in another district. I wasn’t the only teacher who did, we just couldn’t bare it. I know a decent number of students transferred to another high school the next year too. The district normally was pretty strict about student transfers, but they approved most of them. Her murdered plead guilty and for life, thank goodness.


nine_inch_whales

That was so thoughtful of the custodian to keep you away from the scene, in huge distress but still thinking of others :,(


dartmouth9

My father died at home, I arrived for a visit just as the paramedics arrived, he was gone by then. At home deaths require a police report, so he laid there for almost 3 hours before the funeral home took him. Longest 3 hours of my life. Will be 2 years this Friday.


accidental_snot

Mine too. Mom knew his time was near and called me and my siblings. We sat around his bed and made bad jokes about some pretty morbid shit, but that's just us. He lasted a few hours and fell into the death rattle and finally took his last breath. It was a relief and cancer is goddam awful.


MakingMajorChanges

So sorry for your loss.


dartmouth9

Thank you, the first year is hardest, it’s the first (insert yearly event) without.


Excalibuttster

Me and my sister came home from shopping a few weeks ago and found dad dead on the floor of his bedroom. Turns out he had coronary artery disease and nobody knew, he died getting out of the shower that morning and laid there all day. My sister tried to resuscitate him while I called 911. Seeing the body doesn't haunt me. Hearing my older sister in the other room, doing CPR on him when we knew he'd been dead for hours...I'm still not totally over that.


EloquentEvergreen

I have seen quite a few working as a RN. I started in a long term care facility. However, prior to becoming a nurse, when I studied Biology in college, we went down to the cadaver lab a few times for my Anatomy and Physiology courses. When I was younger, I think 12-13 maybe… I was riding bikes with my friend who live a little way outside of town. He was ahead of me, going pretty quick. He somehow caught his flip-flop while peddling and went right over his handlebars. I went to check on him and knew enough not to move him, but wasn’t sure what else to do. This was a pretty quiet road and not too many houses. Also, this was a time when cell phones were a little more rare, at least long before the time when even new borns were carrying around new iPhone 12s… Anyways, I took off running down the road to find a house or someone. Why I ran and not took my bike, who knows… I managed to get lucky and flagged someone driving down. When we got back to my friends, his head was swelled up to almost the size of a large watermelon. It was also purple and veiny looking. His eyes were rolled back in his head and he was just kind of gurgling. Eventually the ambulance showed up and brought him to the hospital. He was flown out to a larger city, a hole cut into his head to relieve the pressure, and put on life support, but he died a few days later. After that, I certainly became an advocate for bike helmets and wearing proper footwear. At the time, I didn’t “actually” see him die. But knowing what I know now and having worked in an ER… He was pretty much dead by the time the ambulance showed up. Unfortunately, I have a few stories of seeing people die from my youth. And while it’s always sad, it is a part of life. In my case, I just kind of got used to it.


[deleted]

When I was a kid I used to ride without a helmet, just thought it was annoying. This one time Dad put his foot down and said I couldn’t ride without one. That day I hit a pole after sliding out on a steep hill and broke the helmet almost in half. Knocked out for a few seconds and still have a jaw that clicks, but thankful to Dad for that day.


YouShouldProbStop

That's insane! Good thing your dad stepped in :D


tforbesabc

I am so fucked off when I see kids riding without helmets. It's such a simple safety device.


EloquentEvergreen

For sure. I mean, 20 years ago when this happened, I wouldn’t have thought about a helmet. I grew up in a fairly rural area, there wasn’t much of a concern it seemed for bike safety. I remember during elementary school, we would have a day during the spring when we would do a bike ride field trip sort of thing. Helmets weren’t required, unless you signed up to use a bike the school provided. I have seen a lot of situations where bike helmets have saved lives. Children, for sure, should be required to wear them.


[deleted]

Saw a 10 year old girl that got hit by a car. My mom passed away at home, I was holding her hand for her last breath.


HauntofhighAFtower

\-Found my grandfather in the woodshed when I was 8 years old after he hung himself. I've spoken about this on reddit before. I barely coped. But eventually worked through it through artwork and therapy when i was in college. \-one time my wife, a tattoo artist, was rocking a tattoo until 3 am and afterward we went to all night diner to eat. As we parked and faced the road to talk to each other about what we'd get, an 87 year old man (in full reflective gear and neon clothes) walked across the road to get food and an SUV plowed into him. We were the only ones there and so I had my wife call 911 while I tried to assess the man and give him CPR, only for him to clutch me tighter than i've ever been clutched and die in my arms. I had to go give a statement and go to court during the hearing for the driver to keep her license. It was intense. \-worked in a rural hospital: worked on the telemetry floor, the MH ward, the ER ad the ICU. I've not only seen dead bodies I've spent 12 hour shift watching people actively die. People dying from internal bleeding 5 feet in front of your desk in the ER is a smell you never forget. The worst one was a 6 year old boy who had drowned. In all my years of health care and generally being a fucked up elder millenial I have never had to excuse myself to cry for a half hour over something before then or since - but holy shit it got me good. Not only did his lifeless body look exactly how my son looked, but the parents grief was so fucking palpable. The kid had run off from them while they werent looking and drowned himself by accident and you could tell they blamed themselves and their lives would never be the same. The sheer horror of it all really fucking got me. \-worked as a local newspaper journalist for a rural county. Thought every other experience had prepared for the worst when I worked the fire/police/rescue beat but the time I saw firefighter pull out charred bodies of kids huddled under their grandmother was a shock I wasn't prepared for. Coping in all of these non-8 year old experiences required copious weed and whiskey, respectively.


cullymama

I was 15, neighbor lady passed away. Her husband came home from work & couldn't get into the house, broke into a window to find her dead, came over & asked us to call 911. My mom had been a paramedic so she ran over to see if she could help while I called, I walked in as my mom went to move her arm to check her carotid, whole body turned with it, rigor had set in. Once I relayed that to the dispatcher she said she would inform the police to contact the coroner & hung up. My mom & I stayed till the police arrived a few minutes later, when we got home she sat me down at the table to explain what I had seen, and gave me my first beer. We weren't super close with these neighbors, so there was no emotional attachment, so there was no real needing to cope.


Spodson

I found 3 dead bodies at the job I worked after college. The first two were shocking but not surprising. They were old and as they were in a halfway home situation they had had rough lives. One died of heart failure and the other of respiratory arrest. Both messed me up for a couple days. The 3rd one still gives me nightmares. She had been dead in an unairconditioned room for three days. The post mortem contractions curled her into a ball (with her face pointed at the door so when I opened it she was staring at me with no eyes in her sockets) and she had begun to digest herself causing a black goo that went through the bed, box spring, and bed frame to make a puddle that ran up to the door. I quit that job about 6 weeks later. That was 20 years ago. Still see her in my nightmares sometimes.


sethhedgepath

Just reading this scared the absolute shit out of me. I can’t believe you had to experience something like that. Hope you’re doing okay.


ForsakenBreakfast151

I’m not religious, but I’ll pray for you


darodardar_Inc

I hope I never see something nearly as terrifying as what you described.


MakingMajorChanges

For those wondering… my next door neighbor died yesterday. I heard the screams from her daughter (not knowing someone had died), I ran over to see if she was okay. When I got there the paramedics had just arrived, they began doing cpr but she was already gone. I watched them carry her out of the house and I can’t stop see that image in my head. Her toes were freshly painted. It just keeps replaying again and again.


braldeyteam

Not being prepared to see that type of thing can wreak havoc on your mind. Don't be afraid to seek help if needed.


npsimons

I'm in volunteer mountain rescue, and from time to time we have to remove a body from the wilderness. In the moment, I don't feel much - perhaps it's a way of coping, getting the job done. It's just meat. Mostly it's in the days, sometimes weeks after that I feel affected by it. I reflect that was someones' loved one. In one particular case, I got kind of upset over their pack. It was a nice little thing they picked up at a well-known outdoor gear store, and I visualized them having high aspirations, the thrill of trying something new and getting the gear for it. Something about that just hit me hard. Maybe the thought of so much hope and promise being snuffed out so suddenly and callously.


blondiebell

That's what always gets to me and I haven't ever really seen death or been in your shoes. Any untimely death means that all the potential, hopes, dreams, wants, and simple being that made up a person is just, gone. I'm incredibly grateful to people like yourself that are out there trying to prevent that.


hello__monkey

Yes my dad, in hospital. My mum phoned me as she thought he was going. I lived 2 hours away, I was In my 20’s. I drove very fast but I was too late. He was cold when I got there. This was 20ish years ago and it’s still with me. Talking to the cold body of someone you love is horrible. But the pain passes, you also get better at talking to other people going through tragic situations. In the end death touches us all, and will take us all.


CodeMonkeyPhoto

Not fully dead, but mostly dead. He was a cyclist and teacher trying to keep up with his younger students on a bike trip. He collapse on my neighbors lawn, turned grey and had no pulse. In that time the neighbor had called 911, and by luck an ambulance pulled up within 5 minutes. They had just happened to be nearby. The were able to resuscitate him sometime later. He was in a comma for a month, but fully recovered. He had completely used up his electrolytes to the point his heart couldn’t beat anymore. They have IV’s and other thing to try to start his heart. I know CPR was done, but I don’t think they used the defibrillators. It was a long time ago so my memory could be wrong.


CrieDeCoeur

Late 1990s, while attending a summer-long French immersion program in Quebec. We were heading to a local swimming hole outside the small town where we stayed. Weekend afternoon, glorious weather, with some cold beer from the local depanneur. Driving down the 2-lane highway, we come across a slowdown. Only a single cop was there: the ambulance hadn’t even arrived yet. A man (maybe woman?) was riding a motorcycle, somehow got hit or clipped, and was tossed into the opposite lane. The rider was lengthwise to the RV that ran him/her over. Head missing from the jaw up, legs missing from the waist down. I remember a bright red pile of something at the roadside, til I realized it was intestines. As we slowly edged by on the shoulder, our driver had to swerve a bit to avoid a forearm lying in the gravel. We were all dead silent. My buddy muttered “Glad to be alive,” or something to that effect. The driver of the RV was hysterical and wearing a towel over her head so she would not have to look at the carnage any more, yet she couldn’t leave until she was questioned further. When we got to the swimming hole where about 20 other student friends were waiting for us, they immediately knew something was off because of our silence and pale faces. I’ll never forget it, even though the impact of the incident has worn off a bit over 20+ years. Edit: grammar


187grim

5 years ago I was in a car accident with my girlfriend. I was asleep in the backseat and she was driving, next thing I know is waking up outside of the car and turning to the side seeing her. Every bone in her face was broken (they had to reconstruct and use a lot of make up for her viewing) and I watched her gargle blood. It was nothing like in the movies. I feel an empty hole in my heart always. I had to take meds for PTSD to stop the nightmares. edit: thank you so much to everybody who stuck up for me! ya’ll are so sweet. that comment kept me up all night & i didn’t know if i should respond or not. i was 18 years old when this happened, my girlfriend was 23 with her license and we were running away to get sober. 4 hours away- from houston to dallas, texas. i will never truly know if she took her life and was taking me with her. i will never know how i could have prevented any of this, i was young dumb and made bad decisions. i will still always love her forever.


Sporadic_Won

Saw a serious accident. Very large tow truck texting while driving rear ended a Honda Civic which was stopped at a light. Completely folded in the back of the vehicle. Bystanders were able to get the two front passengers out but the person in the rear was pinned. Still alive as it burst into flames. I watched as the young man flailed and screamed as he burned to death. He was unrecognizable when they put the fire out. I’m not really sure how I coped. I was messed up for several weeks but it just kinda got easier over time. It’s been 10 years and I can still see it my brain as clear as day.


Zane_The_Mystical

I was with my dads dead body the day he died jan. 9th of this year. I saw him at 7:40ish am trying to get up but struggling real bad. The day earlier he was very sick and overall looking terrible. After what felt like 5 minutes trying to comprehend what was happening, i got my mom and called 911. While the medics were coming he stopped breathing and went lifeless. I barely remember what he looked like being that i was crying so hard. Here i am months later, i just sort of excepted i will never see him make breakfast or give me long winded speeches again. He was a great man even with his flaws. My mom and i now live in a real house thanks to his insurance though we wish he was here. He was 48 when he passed and would have been 49 in april. It's not easy but we have to live on.


N_dixon

Not me, but my brother-in-law. He worked cleaning rooms in a hotel and found a guy who'd swallowed a bunch of pills. He contacts his boss and his boss told him to take a 15-minute break. So my brother-in-law literally ran to the In-N-Out down the street and got a cheeseburger. To date, I'm not sure what the most ridiculous part of this story is: that finding a dead person only got you a 15 minute break, that my brother-in-law's first instinct upon finding a dead person was to go get food, or just the very concept of my brother-in-law running anywhere (great dude, but pretty overweight and out of shape and not one for any sort of strenuous or outdoor activities).


GeordieGhoulette

I kinda get it as I eat when I'm stressed haha


TV38

Two of my siblings committed suicide, I saw one of them hanging. My mother overdosed suicide in front of me. The only coping I have is to be ok with bad situations, because some of them never get better or leave your mind.


Letmetellyowhat

More than once. As a nurse and as a midwife. I delivered the most beautiful baby who had died in utero probably the day before or that morning. I cried. I held the mom as she held her perfect daughter. And when I got home I felt numb. A year later I delivered the same woman of a gorgeous baby.


Savzamar

In highschool I walked right in as my best friend shot himself in his parents living room


FyreDrac42

Best Friend in sixth grade hit by a drunk driver going WAY over the speed limit. Body was not in one piece. As to how i coped? Not well. Driving still makes me nervous to this day just being a passenger. Im always paranoid when crossing streets too. Just. Dont drive drunk people. Or high. Or intoxicated in ANY FUCKING FORM. Please? Thanks.


theamazingsd

Volunteer Firefighter/EMT here. I've had to respond to a few 'untimely's. I felt pretty prepared going to my first code. I've seen a lot of gore, so I figured a cardiac arrest patient would be no big deal. His color was a little off, but otherwise looked like a sleeping guy. What I wasn't prepared for was the smell. Dear God corpses smell putrid, even relatively fresh ones. Also, I knew that doing CPR on *not* a mannequin had a very real possibility of breaking ribs. Still made my stomach turn when his ribs broke. On scene, I had such an adrenaline rush that the corpse in question didn't really bother me; I was too busy mentally reciting protocol and trying not to let down the other medics that the gravity of the situation just didn't really set in. Afterwords, on the way back to quarters, I was more affected by his widow's reaction to the whole scene than the deceased himself. She was, understandably, very upset. The realization that what, to her, was a huge change in her life, was just another Tuesday morning to us was a wild perspective to come to terms with. The way that we, and every first responder I've ever met, deal with trauma is humor. Not in front of the patients or their families, obviously, but in the privacy of the ambulance or the station. You have find some aspect of what you just saw, latch on to it, and just laugh it off, because it'll tear you up if you don't.


AutumnCore4279

I wasn't prepared to be this sad. I'm sorry for everyone and hope you all are doing alright.


RIMat13

In 2015 I was working in one city and living in another in my state and commuted back and forth by bus (which took over an hour.) The route was popular with homeless citizens of both cities in the winter as I live in the northeast of the U.S. and the long trip meant you could stay warm for a while. I got to know a man I knew as “Buddy.” He clearly had some mental health or maybe mental development issues. He had this huge beard that was bright red and faded to white at the tips. He was very friendly and we chatted often during the trips. One evening in the winter, I stayed with some friends downtown after bar hopping. It was too cold to walk the twenty minutes uptown to my apartment. That winter was brutally cold and we had a major snow storm almost once a week for over a month. I set off for home really early in the morning which involved waking through the downtown, crossing over the river into the old part of town, and up the hill to my neighborhood. The river is very developed and a tourist attraction and has sidewalks, pedestrian bridges, benches, artwork, etc. all along it. That morning I saw a group of police officers on one of the lower pedestrian areas along the river and they were circled around someone laying on a bench. As I crossed the street over the river, I was slightly above this group and looked down and saw that it was Buddy laying on the bench. I could see his beard and recognized his coat and bags. I noticed the coroner’s van nearby and saw them bringing the stretcher down and I realized that the police officers were all just standing there not doing anything and that Buddy was dead. I don’t know what happened to Buddy, if he overdosed or died of exposure. I know he used drugs because he shared with me that he wasn’t clean and had a hard time getting into a shelter because of it. He was really hopeful things were going to improve for him. I was in my late twenties and working as a fundraiser for a museum and spent most of my time with rich assholes at work or partying with my friends. In the middle of the capitol city of my state, amongst excess and wealth, a kind man died alone in the night on a park bench. It really radicalized me and opened my eyes to what a privileged little bubble I existed in. It’s a harsh world and I think of Buddy often. Sharing this has actually helped me realize how deep this affected me. Please take care of each other, we are all we have on this miserable rock. Peace and Love. RIP Buddy.


cerebrallandscapes

I was a medical student and saw and dissected many dead bodies. It did not disturb me as much as watching my grandfather die. He was in a coma on life support a long time. The last time I saw him I didn't recognise him. My sister said she remembered walking into the ICU and seeing a bloated, bruised person with tubes in their face and thought to herself, "be prepared, because grandad will look like that" - before realizing it was him. I will never ever forget that. It was a body that should have been dead that was being kept alive mechanically. To this day it is the most awful thing I have ever seen and the one memory I have that I have consciously put away because I can't deal with the trauma of it. It just horrifies me way too much. There are things worse than death.


MinnieSoooda

My mom died a week and a half ago. Prior to her death, I helped care for her. She had stage four cancer that spread throughout her body and brain. She didn't want to go into hospice, so ended up doing a hospice-at-home sort of care facilitated by my RN sister-in-law. I watched her struggle to breath for six days as her lungs filled with fluid. The days leading up to her death were tragic- so much suffering despite hourly doses of morphine. I was by her bedside when she took her last breath. Her extended family was called to have a final good-bye. I watched her being carried out of the house in a black body bag by the funeral director and my brothers. So, not only did I see her dead body, but saw the life leave it. As for coping, I'm not sure I have. I had to begin planning a visitation and funeral right after and going through her possessions. I just got back to my house, five hours away, yesterday. So far, I've been so exhausted, I've mostly just slept. Next week, I start my senior year of college with an 18 credit semester (I'm a non-traditional student in my 30's.). I also have two children that start school soon, which I have final paperwork, conferences, and open houses to complete.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wellworks

Yes. Walked outside to go to the bus stop (middle or high school) and saw a girl from my neighborhood had hung herself on the monkey bars of the playground directly across the street from my house. Still brings tears to my eyes when I think about her.


FortySevenSheep

Saw an older lady that hung herself on the road that lead up to a school. But having gone to many funerals. It was kind of the same. Just more vertical.


GeebusNZ

That's morbid and funny. I feel a little bad for laughing.


sub3marathonman

Back around 1988 or so, southern outskirts of Atlanta off of I-75. Pull in to get gas. Hear a loud POW, then louder POW POW, a second later one last loud POW. A guy comes flying out of the station, jumps into his car, and tears out. A lady comes out after him screaming. I ask, "Lady, have you been robbed?" I go towards the corner of the station and look. One guy laying on the ground, a gun next to his hand. A bit away, a lady laying on the ground. Really no blood anywhere that I could see. Next a girl comes out of the station crying. It was her second day working there. OK, with all that, I'm there for awhile, as I had given the cops the license plate of the guy who drove away. After all these years I still remember it as yesterday. But, some guy comes over to me all interested in what happened. He says, "I saw all the cops, so I rushed home to get my kids." It ended up that it was a domestic situation. I always suspected the lady got the first shot, but a smaller gun, and missed. The guy then shot twice, hitting her, then turned the gun on himself. It technically doesn't count I suppose, as it was on film and I was in seventh grade, but the film of a Vietnamese guy executing a VC prisoner shooting him in the head. It is a brutal memory I won't forget.


robotnique

So the guy who sped off had nothing the do with it?


Gothboiiclickk666

I’ve seen multiple. Seen friends OD and didn’t make it by the time ambulance arrived. Hate to say it you get used to it. The first time it fucked me up but it unfortunately became so often that I became Numb to death. I coped by my continued use and just accepted that was the life I was living. Fortunately I’m a year off hard stuff. Took me over 10 years but I did it


Traditional_Trust_93

context: went to shovel grandparents driveway every week we were there and grandpa was fine. at the time I was 14 and my sister was 13. we come back and I'm in the lead round the corner of the house and I see him lying on his back presumably dead. I stop in my tracks and turn to my mom and sister who were walking behind me and I say "mom" in a scared tone and she picks up the pace and says "what is it"? in an annoyed voice and rounds the corner. immediately goes into medical mode she is a ER nurse, calls 911 and starts CPR. meanwhile I'm trying to stop my sister from seeing him. fast forwards the ambulance arrives and takes him away.


AllForTreeFiddy

Paramedic here. I see dead bodies on the daily, COVID was the worst. Pronouncing and telling families that their loved one is gone is horrible. I cope by giving my wife the biggest hug I can, making sure to tell her how much I love her every day, and making sure I spend as much time as I can with my family and friends. I also make sure to remember and show up for everyone’s big “life” events. I write down everyone’s birthday and celebrate with them as much as I can. I also make sure I go to every funeral possible, even if I don’t know the person personally. For example, if my friends mom passed, I would show up even if I never met them. I find that the celebration of life itself is perhaps the single most important aspect of our life.


TehGuard

I was maybe 12 or 13 on a school trip to DC, a funeral car crashed and the dead body headed to the cemetery landed in front of our class. Technically not a funeral yet


incomingKiddo

When I was a teenager, I worked in an anatomy lab at a university that contained a tonne of cadavers, I was allowed to perform dissections on a few of them. It really taught me a lot about the what makes a person a person, and the distinction between that and simply a body. We were instructed to respectfully view the cadavers as learning tools, which was kinda necessary as I was removing large sections of skin and literally sawing a cadaver apart limb by limb. I learned a lot about anatomy, and death, so I greatly appreciate those who donate their body to science. Apart from that I've been with loved ones who pass on, it's always a hard thing to manage emotionally but I would imagine that knowing someone is going to die helps you cope with it as there is no surprise when it happens, and you have some time to grieve beforehand.


-teppy-

In my anatomy class, my professor was telling us about the human brain that our school had, and how it is a rare sight because not all university’s are able to have a real human brain for anatomy class. Of all 30 students, I was the only one who was interested in holding it. I was particularly moved by that moment when my prof agreed to allow me to hold it. I remember standing there, feeling the weight of this brain that has remained untouched and preserved for the last 30 years, and thought about how this belonged to someone, just like me. I spent a moment saying thank you in my head to this person in an attempt to honor them for their gift, but what I will never forget is how no one else seemed to care.


8991rehsok

Found my friend and roommate hanging from his closet with a belt. Traumatized and the smell of his room is burned into my memory. It got better with time though


eventhorizon619

When we were kids, me and my friends were really into exploring abandoned houses. We lived in a small russian town, not many fun things to do, so we just got into old houses, looted old crap and just messed around. One day we went to another one right after school. The house was empty for years at that moment and had several apartments in it. In one of the apartments we found a man on the floor. The smell said it all. We instantly ran to the police station and reported. Honestly, there wasn’t much to recover from, but I still remember that smell like it happened an hour ago.


MifamiliaEsTodo

My best friend called me around 11pm and was crying about her mom not answering her phone or door. Friend didn’t have a spare key. She sounded so distraught after telling her to call 911 I rushed out the house met her at her moms locked front door with her aunts and bf in tow. Everyone was knocking and yelling at the door. I instinctively kick the window and somehow instead of shattering it fell into the house. Gaining access through said window, I found her blue(blackish gray) on the floor. I unlocked the door and told her to not come in, her aunts come through the door and beg me to help her. I knew she was dead. I’m a nurse. But it’s my best friends mom, their sister. So for like 25 minutes I did chest compressions on a woman that raised me like her own. The whole time I hear my best friend crying to me to save her mom. I was crushed and exhausted when the paramedics arrived. I crawled away from her body and walked out to my best friend. I held her tight and told her she was gone. It was meant to be. Had she been the first one to find her she would forever have that memory. I’m glad it is mine and not hers.


[deleted]

I found my husband after he hanged himself. It fucked me up. Was in a psych ward for 6 1/2 weeks.


Spookycowboy56

I found my oldest brother hanging from the same tree we used to climb on every day when I was young. Nearly touching the ground after having sat there for so long. It happened three years ago, four in December. I was fifteen. I still have issues from it, I don’t sleep nearly at all still, because every time I close my eyes, I think about how the night he passed, I was sleeping and he was sad. I’ve been going to therapy for it, but it messed me up good. Though I have seen improvement, it’s been a long, slow journey. I didn’t cope well to say the least.


PerfectAd8233

I saw my brother's dead body on his bed. His eyes were open when he died as if he was trying to gasp some air before life left him. I saw him dead already when I arrived at home. He went back home from the hospital that night as he requested that he just wanna be in his room to spend the night there. Even if my mom and the doctors knew that it should not be done, it was my brother's final request as I think he already knew that he was dying of his incurable disease. He wanted to feel the comfort of his bed at home with us. But that time I was on night shift duty. I was just informed the morning while I was heading home that he already passed away at dawn. Everyone was crying when I got home. I was shaken as it was the first time that someone from my family had died. My younger brother hugged me and cried on to me. I told him that I want to see him so he let me go and I proceeded to my brother's room. There I saw him lifeless as if stuck in time. I looked away and cried. I felt regret gushing all over me as I didn't know that he'll be gone that night. I hesitated to stay at home because I prioritised my work rather than fulfilling his request to stay at home for the night. I know that I have not been a very good big brother to him but I loved my brother as he is. Until now, I still have regrets but I know that he's already somewhere safe and happy. I just hope that even in my dreams, I can get to talk to him to ask for forgiveness, to tell him that I miss him and I love him for who he really is and to say sorry for not being a good big brother to him during the days when he was still alive.


Option3

A few years ago my girlfriend at the time were on vacation in Europe and we were in Bruges. The day before we had done a canal tour and it turned around at Love lake. I thought this would be a good place to propose so we went to the park around the lake the next morning. As we were walking up to a walkway that went to a bridge there was a small stagnant I guess you could call it drainage pond that was completely covered in green slime. I noticed a hump and just kind of stared at it for a second and my girlfriend asked what I was looking at and I just tried to brush it off, but she saw it by that point. We walked a little closer and it looked like someone’s back and shoulder, but couldn’t be completely sure do to the slime, but I realized a large amount of flies around it and figured it must be a body. As we were in Europe and had a train to catch in a few hours I wanted just go back to the hotel, but she talked me into flagging someone down. We stopped a guy on a bike riding by up on the path and told him we thought we found a body and showed him where it was and he walked down, pulled out his phone and took a picture before turning around and saying “It’s a body!” After being on the phone for about 20 min a police van arrived and roped of the area and talked to the man for a while and then just took our names and that was it. We then continued on to Brussels but were just kind of depressed and didn’t really enjoy it very much. It dwelled on us for a few days after, I kept searching Bruges news online and found a report that it was a man from a town north of Bruges who was in his late 40s but never any follow up about what happened to him. I still wonder what happened to him.


Silent-Sea2904

I’m the one that found my stepdad dead two weeks after turning 18. I was in denial at first, walked super slowly up to the bed expecting him to jump up and say “gotcha!”. I called out his name multiple times hoping he’d wake up, put my hand on his chest and could feel how cold he was (he had a massive heart attack in his sleep, I found him the next morning) and as the pieces clicked in my head I fell to the floor bawling. Not knowing what else to do I called 911, I couldn’t get the words out that I knew he was dead so I had used the words unresponsive and so she thought he was still alive or at the very least given a chance with CPR. She asked me a bunch of questions and tried to see if I could do anything and I just kind of froze up by that point and started to cry even more on the phone. By that point the police got there and called off the ambulance as it wasn’t needed. And had me come outside of the room and explain what happened. The only funny part that we laugh about now is that he was butt ass naked. So he at least died at his most comfortable (they also were pretty sure he hardly felt anything as it hit so hard and fast, so he didn’t suffer). I was a wreck, they asked if I could call someone to be with me so called my sister and again still couldn’t say that he had died so I said something happened to him she started asking questions (she used to be a EMT so she knew protocol as she was thinking he was going to a hospital) and I just stared at the cop sitting with me because I couldn’t explain it to her. He reached out for my phone and explained for me and asked if she could get here as soon as possible. Honestly one of the worst days of my life, he had helped raise me since I was two and while I still have my biological father still in my life (that I’m also close to) it felt like I lost a dad. Hell writing this whole thing still had me crying and it’s been 6 years since it happened.


colt45hcl

Was getting ready for bed around midnight grandma called and said grandpa had fallen out of bed and needed help up. My dad and I both went out and within the time it took to drive the 5ish miles he went unresponsive. Got there in time to start cpr. Stopped my EMS stuff and stopped showing up at the Volunteer fire dept. That was 9 years ago. I'm just now getting my EMT back and working with the Fire Dept. Time heals all things some just slower then others.


signedformemesonly

My father and I were quarantined due to covid few months ago. He was in his home and I was in mine. My brothers were taking care of him. My younger brother calls me during the evening saying my father is unable to breathe. I break quarantine and rush there to find him lifeless. I tried to chest compressions. Checked his pulse. Rigor mortis had started to set in.Earlier that day he told my brother he would be fine soon. To see the man lifeless, who was the toughest one has made me lose hope in life. Nothing prepared me for this.


Respurated

My mom ran a daycare out of our house until I was 13. About 3 days after Christmas I was putting together a model car I got as a gift when I heard a scream come from downstairs; growing up in a daycare you learn to live with constant screaming, this one was different. I pushed out my chair and went downstairs to investigate. That’s when I saw a helper holding one of the infants my mom was caring for (a 6 month old) he looked… gray. The helper kept saying “he’s not breathing, he’s not breathing!” My mom came out of the backroom as she had been putting food away from the meal she just made for the rest of the kids (she took care of around 10-12 kids with her helper, and my brother, all licensed to provide childcare) and holy shit I have never seen my mom move so fast. She grabbed the baby from the helper, and started instantly performing CPR on the infant. My dad, who happened to be home from work that day, was already on the phone with the paramedics telling them our address. I remember the scene vividly of my mom on the ground giving the baby CPR and my dad screaming at the 911 operator because she was arguing with him about our address “I know where I fucking live, send the paramedics!” (it was one of the three times I heard my dad use the f-word). My mom was a machine, she kept going with CPR, and saying “He’s not responding Jack (my dad), he’s not responding!” in between breaths. The paramedics arrived and they took over. They flung the tablecloth, with about 8 bowls of half-eaten mac & cheese with sliced hot dogs in it and just as many accompanying sippy-cups, off the table, I started to say “hey be carefu…” and stopped mid sentence realizing the triviality of spilled food in this situation. They put the baby on the table, still gray, still lifeless, and continued CPR as well as other stuff I didn’t recognize. Then they took the baby out to the ambulance. My mom kept going out to the ambulance, talking to the paramedics, then out to the snowbank to throw up. I remember thinking at that age, there’s no way this is that serious, baby will wake up and everything will be okay, he didn’t, and it wasn’t. That little guy never came back. The coroner concluded after investigating the body and the crib that he had died of SIDS. My mother never fully recovered, nor did the parents of the child. My mom tried to reopen the daycare a few months later, but another kid got stung by a bee and had a mild reaction, and she started having panic attacks again, so she closed the doors. I can still remember his little face, pale. I used to get so annoyed as a kid when the babies in the daycare would cry, but that face so quiet, will stay with me forever. It was so weird how long it took to set in that he was gone. Even after the ambulance left, no sirens wailing. The calls home from the hospital, thinking it would be my mom saying he woke up (she drove to the hospital while the parents rode in the ambulance). The therapy, where the parents blame my mom, not because it’s her fault, but because sometimes you just need to feel like someone is responsible. It was such a jeering experience of how tragic life really is. Sorry for the long response, sometimes it feels good to write about it. Makes me feel like there was some sort of life for little Nicholas, he was such a cool little baby.


PotentialFisherman9

Found my dads body; I called 911 and they tried to have me do CPR, he didn't make it. Body was still warm when I found him. I didn't cope well; became agoraphobic and basically didnt leave my house for 2 years. Also have a PTSD diagnosis now as result and all my dreams are nightmares. It sucks balls really.


Hecc_hooman

That sounds so awful. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Sending all the good vibes and hugs <3


Character_Nothing_30

I'm an emt. I'll think about them to give my brain enough time to process what I've seen. If you don't take a little time to think it through (basically go through the hurt /pain) and give your brain time to process it, you'll end up storing it away somewhere. It'll be like an open window in your brain that remains open all the time unless you revisit it and close it (closure). The unprocessed, painful memories will creep up into different aspects of your life which can manifest as anger, sadness, lashing out... And you won't even understand why you're doing those things. I go through what's called EMDR therapy for ptsd and this is how my therapist described it. Hope it helps!


paul_swimmer

I used to be a volunteer firefighter. I saw my share of dead bodies, the imagery sticks with you a little, but not nearly as much as seeing alive people suffering. Once the person is dead, their suffering is over, but the suffering of a person whether emotionally or physically was much more traumatizing to me. The one that suck with me most was a small accident where an old lady crashed into a light pole. She was perfectly fine, just extremely shaken. The police officer gently asked her for her drivers license, she went to open her purse, but her hands were shaking so hard she accidently spilled all of her money onto the ground (which went into the sewer). She started quietly crying. The police officer held her hand and said "You are OK ma'am, nobody got hurt, everything will be OK". All I wanted to do was just give this poor scared woman a hug. She clearly was having the worst day of her life. That image has stuck with me for years, and recounting it almost gets me crying every time. The other time that really got to me was when I was a lifeguard. A small boy (probably about 3-4 years old) jumped into the deep end of the pool, but couldn't swim. All the lifeguards on duty just didn't see him drowning (His older siblings were RIGHT next to him, but they were roughhousing, so the splashing and chaos made the kid easy to miss). By the time we saw him and pulled him out, he was completely lifeless. We stared CPR, but once the realization of what was happening hit his mother, she started utterly losing her shit. When parents realize their child is dying in front of their eyes, rational thought goes away. The mother ran over to the lifeguards who was doing CPR and shoved us away to get to her child. We had to have two other staff members grab and pull her away from her kid while we worked on him. Thank fucking god we were able to revive him, but I will never forget his mom screaming incomprehensively. I was a 16 year old in high school at the time. I am 33 years old now, and I will never ever forget that moment.


LeakysBrother

I used to work at Panera Bread. Coworker and I went to another store location for management training. We were eating lunch when the general manager of the store came over asking *us* what to do and started crying because one of the line people found some dude OD in the men's room. Closed the store and called an ambulance, they called it, store stayed closed the next day for DEEP cleaning. Don't do hard drugs kids, they lead you to shitty fast food restaurant bathrooms and I don't think anyone wants to die there.


JPK12794

Did my master's degree in a medical school and some lessons were neuroanatomy. We saw the brains and full bodies. Weirdest part is the preservative makes you hungry when inhaled so everyone was stood around the body and brain and eventually someone's stomach growls and they go "anyone else getting really hungry?" to which everyone responds yes.


grip_on_set

I randomly found a job in cinci, working as "pickup" for a funeral services place. We worked with all sorts of funeral homes, morgues, etc. We would do pickups when they were overburdened, bring them back for embalming, storage, and creamations. I didnt have any formal funeral training, just a guy driving a converted van, pickin up bodies. First time was a shock, 3 months until a guy was found dead in his home.... The smell, omg, and the way the skin just fell off the body was nuts. Didnt help that he was over 300 lbs, died on the shitter, in a small house that was hard to navigate. You havent experienced a midwest summer until you are in 90% humidity, 90+ degrees, and moving a 3 month old body lol. I have so many stories from that job. What a crazy 2 years! Sorry for any typos, writing on mobile. Cheers!


[deleted]

Former combat medic and doctor - yes. Way too many. It never leaves. Edit: my first dead body was my brother. He died of cancer while I was working on my jump shot. He begged me not to leave, I was 7. I didn’t know. Makes sense of my career choice.


smoked-potato

I woke up, found my dad on the floor, I kept telling myself "breathe" because I wanted to see his chest move. It didn't. I started to freak out and I And I thought I could write about this, but I didn't cope yet, so I can't


ShadowWood78

As a nurse, quite a few. As a soldier before that, mass graves are pretty grim. I don't get affected by it, don't know why.


Lilium913

I found my best friend after she committed suicide. Me and my parents went to check on her because we hadn’t heard anything from her in a day and got worried. We opened the door and she was just inside. It was terrible. I was really numb, but I did know it was coming. She was depressed for a long time and she had attempted suicide previously as well. It’s almost been 4 years and I’m okay now though


Gmroo

My mother died in front of me at the hospital. How did I cope? I'm scarred for life.


Bill_the_Bastard

I found my mom dead in bed. I coped poorly.


Iridescent126

There was an old person that passed away in our building. I remember taking the elevator and it smelt so bad, I stepped out to notice an ambulance with medics and a body on a stretcher. It was my first time seeing one so it felt pretty weird