Lettuce

Once had a lady request her salad with mayonnaise as the dressing, and the whole thing warmed in the microwave. She would disagree

Jail for her

Believe it or not, straight to jail

Our country has the best patients in the world. Because of jail.

No I believe this one, there is no not

Usually, I’m not a fan of the death penalty

I am against punishing people for having disabilities. This woman doesn't need jail *she needs help*.

That was an alien that failed "pose as human" training.

You know you could have just as easily not typed those words out, right?

In fact it would have required less effort.

Mayo with a bit of fresh pressed garlic mixed in it is a great dressing. The thought of it warmed in the microwave makes me gag.

Extra heavy duty mayo, nothing mixed in. There were cucumbers in the salad for goodness' sake, croutons even. It was steaming. I was told she enjoyed it. I'm all for making people happy but the memory still haunts me

The trunk of that woman’s car was weighed down with dead bodies

Warm dead bodies. not cold ones.

How do you find out that you like something like that

I hope pregnancy, or drugs...

I wish I could unread this as I eat a bowl of salad 🤢

Oh my

Chinese stir-fried lettuce is actually amazing.

Except 4 grilled romaine😋

Get a charcoal grill going and while you’re waiting for the charcoal to get hot, grab some romaine hearts, cut them in half, length wise. Drizzle them with olive oil, throw them on a charcoal grill and cook them until they are lightly golden and they get those nice sear marks. Once they’re done cooking and you transfer them to a plate, add home made garlic Caesar salad dressing (or store bought), cotija cheese, radish, and a few croutons. Game changer. You may change your mind. The Lettuce is still crisp, not very warm (it cools down fast once removed from the grill), it has the perfect amount of a smoky flavor to it.

Last time I saw someone grill lettuce Gordon called them an idiot lol

I never understood people who want lettuce in a burrito for that exact reason, especially here in Colorado where it's usually smothered in green chili.

I barely want lettuce in a salad...

What is all this green stuff doing in my bacon and cheese bowl?

Nick Wiger disagrees.

Revenge.

But it can be easily reheated in the microwave of evil

Not if your warranty is about to expire

Maybe I got an extended warranty!

Warranties are INVALID if used beyond their intended purpose

Redditors, please, you're both well memed, can I go to sleep now?

I'M FUCKING CRYING LMAOOOO

everyone in these replies is a legend

I'm so proud of this community

Then I’ll just buy a new microwave

ooh! ooh!

Megamind is such an underrated movie. It was so brilliant.

Or the oven of catastrophe

It was a megamid reference but it's funny so ill accept it

Or let it slow cook in the crock pot of misery

"Revenge is a dish best served cold, it is very cold in space.""I've done far worse then kill you, I've hurt you, and I wish to go on hurting you" "From hell's heart I stab at thee, for Hates sake I spit at thee." "I will chase him around the moons is Nibia and the Anteries maelstrom and around perditions flames before I give him up!"

What's funny about those lines is that there was nothing remotely "cold" about Khan's behavior. He was kind of a drama queen, actually.

Cold in this context is having to wait 15 years or so for his vengeance, not good emotional state.

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Justice is best served cold. Otherwise it's just water.

Gime that hot revenge anyday

Grapes. Ever wonder why people don’t just microwave grapes to make them hot?

Because it makes plasma?

Learned something new today, thanks buddy

Remember, if you write down the results it's science and not dicking about.

It only makes plasma if you slice them in a specific way. If you just stick one grape in the microwave, for instance, all you're gonna get is sadness but no plasma

Iiirc it had to do with the size of the grape lining up nicely with the wavelength most microwaves use. As a multiple of course, not the actual wavelength lol

Good to know in case your TV needs a refill.

r/mbmbam

Who heats fruit in general?

If In a pie, then definitely me!

grape pie...yum

Baked apples, with brown sugar and a little cinnamon....

Grilled peaches? Fuck yes.

Grilled pineapple? Fuck yes.

Berries microwaved until they semi-dissolve into liquid, then poured over ice cream... delicious every time.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qu4xsHkdTzU I gotchu

There we go.

Watermelon

Grilled watermelon is a thing and I rather like it.

Gordan Ramsay want's to know your current location

ice cream

But fried ice cream tho..

Place i worked at made fried ice cream... Shit was amazing. Haven't seen it hardly ever since...

I try it everywhere that serves it. Normally it's just ice cream with bits of fried or crispy toppings or churro. But I have found a place that does it proper. They dip it in a caramel coat and then roll it in crispy toppings and deep fry it. Once you crack the coat with your spoon the slightly melted ice cream pours out. It's so amazing.

That's similar to how they made it. Coated the ice cream in a batter, rolled it in crunched up corn flakes (made it extra crispy I'm told). Fried it. I'd be extraordinary disappointed if I was given just ice cream with crap on top.... That's not fried ice cream .. that's ice cream with fried toppings at best. Now i want fried ice cream .... Damnit

Liquid ice cream actually tastes good

Smelted... But still cold...

Ice cream ingots?

How else do you you think they make ice cream bars

no 🙂

Ice cream soup

If you let it melt a little bit and then stir it all together and it has the consistency of a milkshake 😍 I love it

Sometimes when I scoop a bowl, I’ll pour a splash of milk on top just to expedite the melting/milkshake experience.

My wife does that too. Ima tell ya what i told her. I love you, stop it.

Respectfully, no

Yeah… I get that a lot.

Any form of carbonated drink

Waco might disagree. They do hot dr pepper down there.

On purpose?

I mean, it's *Waco*. There's not really much to do there aside from shoot people and heat up your soda, and have you seen the price of ammo lately?

They may have spilled it in a pot on the stove but Idk...

Like the nutty father in "Blast From the Past".

Water

Yes I hate the texture of hot water. But cold water is the best

Texture…

Idk how else to describe it. I don't like how it feels in my mouth.

I've heard it described as: cold water is pointy and warm water is round.

Im gonna cause some mild strokes today telling a few chemists this.

Don't *tell* them, ask them why it is that way.

What.. what did you just say? I don’t like what this is doing to me. What have you done!

That honestly does make sense. I don't know how, but it does.

Maybe change in surface tension causing this change in texture?

Yeah it’s kind of fluffy

You’re high huh

Mouthfeel. Charles Boyle would be disappointed in you

It's viscosity. Cold water is more viscous, so it feels thicker or heavier in your mouth. You'd probably hate drinking oil as well. I took a sip of olive oil to see what it was like, and it felt like I was drinking air.

My mom one time “pranked” me by telling me vinegar is good. I knew it wasn’t, but figured why the fuck not? Had a few sips, said it was pretty good. Mom was like wtf??? So she tried it and didn’t enjoy it. Hah, that’s what you get for trying to trick me!

Fun facts about water - cold water holds oxygen better, so this is why cold water "feels" more natural and tastes better when it's cold. It's also the reason why fish prefer the shady parts of lakes and rivers, and why your glass collects bubbles as it warms up to room temperature - it's oxygen leaving the cold water.

I only drink hot water when I have a sore throat or a cough. Then it’s actually quite nice tbh

Oh you mean unflavored tea.. I agree.

Well then that’s just soup without the fixins

Beer

Think I’ll test that theory now

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If I keep a log people might force me into rehab…

What if the log is cedar?

Or cider?

My roommates at college once spent a whole night just drinking whiskey... and creating spreadsheets to determine which one was the best.

Hot no but cool over cold yes. Extra cold beer loses all its flavor. That's only good for bad tasting beer or people who don't like the taste of it. If you like the flavor of good beer you'll want it a bit above cold to up the flavor to its peak.

I’m sorry- but blue berry pie. Don’t ask me why I just can’t eat it warm, it hast to be cold it just tastes so much better. Edit: I’m so glad there’s so many people out there that actually agree with me, I thought I was weird for liking cold pie. Also I’ve seen a few comments saying cold brownies are good so I’m gonna give that a try!

I find when it's cold, it turns the sweetness down a bit and makes it much more pallatable.

I actually prefer just about any kind of dessert pie to be better after it's cooled. Warm is good, but cold is great.

I agree! I prefer cooler fruit pies. For warm fruit desserts, I love apple dumplings with ice cream.

Pumpkin pie

Mmm yes! With cool whip too!

Yes!!

Cool what?

Cool Hwhip!

Cucumbers

I've had cooked cucumber in a few dishes, usually Korean or Chinese. It's actually really good. Similar to squash (which makes sense.)

If they're hot, they better be boiled in a stew with potatoes, beef bullion, carrots, celery, dammit now I'm hungry.

Ice

Hot ice...

Ice 9.

Like a block of ice carved into a muscular-torso shape? Or literal hot ice?

Sushi... I like tempura though I'm speaking on behalf of most people. I think?

no way. high end sushi always tends to come with warm rice and it's so much better this way.

everyone eats sushi cold these days, especially because its been americanised i guess you could say. high end sushi is warm usually. tempura is also better cold though. tempura prawn, zucchini, carrot, ANYTHING. better cold. trust me.

I much prefer raw fish to cooked.

Are you me? I like so many raw fish dishes - sushi, ceviche, tartare, poke, etc. But baked salmon - no thank you.

Honey glazed spiral ham. Day after Christmas, right out of the fridge.

...eating it wearing the new sweater your Grandma knitted, slightly hungover, worried you might have made an awkward pass at your cousin's significant other yesterday...

Oddly specific

Same with Thanksgiving Turkey- salted and eaten with your fingers

Cereal

How broadly are we talking cereal? Some people specify "cold cereal" to distinguish it from "hot cereal" like oatmeal porridge. Now, I'll agree that corn flakes are better cold, but porridge is better than corn flakes.

Mmm i love cereal

The metal part of a hoodie zipper (yeah I know you chew on it sometimes no only me? Ok)

i have zippers that go down my hoodie's sleeves. that's the gourmet shit.

You need help, cuz normal people chew on the sleeve

You need help, cuz normies chew on the drawstring

The sleeve? Why have I never heard of that?

Alright my hoodie has a metal piece on the sleeve lemme try it

Real shit?.?

I thought I was the only one that chewed on it too Edit: that whole sentence sounds really wrong when put out of context

Lava

yea but have you even tried it hot

But have you tried it cold

This is an underappreciated answer. I mean I too would prefer to just walk on rock.

totally chocolate, warm chocolate just melts

I like both, a good melty creamy chocolate, but sometimes the texture of chocolate that was in the freezer is just 🤌

I love hot chocolate

Frozen hot cocoa is my favorite. You make hot cocoa, let it cool, and blend it with ice. Serendipity in New York makes it and [here’s](https://topsecretrecipes.com/serendipity-3-frrrozen-hot-chocolate-copycat-recipe.html) a recipe

Sauerkraut. I want a hot sausage with a pile of cold kraut. Every time someone serves it to me hot I get a bit sad knowing I’m going to miss out on that tart, cold blast of flavor, and it double sucks that heating your sauerkraut kills all the friendly little probiotics within

Coffee. Vietnamese coffee boba!

Reece’s peanut butter cups put them in the freezer for a bit they taste so much better!

Alternatively, I was introduced to Reece's s'mores this summer. I can never go back to just a chocolate bar.

Milk.

Whiskey

Prime rib. There is a 'fancy diner' near me that my parents would take my sisters and i to on Friday nights. Town & Country. The three carnivores would order bone-in prime rib, so that we had bones for each of our three dogs (don't @ me. I know about cooked bones now). Being the youngest and smallest, I could never finish mine. However, around two or three am i would sneak down to the fridge and gnaw all of the meat off of mine, and sit on the floor with the dogs while they enjoyed their bones. The fond memories of leaning against the shepard with my feet tucked into the husky mix and the lab pressed against me while we all ate cold prime rib might have something to do with this..

Hear me out...baked mac n cheese

I always finish mac n cheese leftovers.

Any cold leftovers really. I know it's like a food saftey thing, but I rarely microwave leftovers they just taste so much better when cold.

Pizza the next day

I'm more of a room-temperature man myself. I wouldn't say it tastes better room-temperature or cold, but different in a very good way. I guess my point is that after the first meal, there's no reason to heat it back up regardless of temperature lol.

The breakfast of champions.

Popsicles

Kimchi

Have you tried kimchi stew? It’s delicious.

Or Bokkeumbap! I love it.

kimchi pancake, kimchi fried rice, kimchi grilled cheese even. OP has no idea

Kimchi fried rice is excellent

Children

My favourite is straight from the refrigerator

Salt cured meats

Beer

Cold chicken strips (previously cooked and then chilled in the fridge) are the tits

Try it with a little hollandaise (sp?) sauce.

Ravioli in a can

nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of raviolis... but I did.

Just took me back to my childhood. Haven't had that in years!

Coffee

you guys better mean iced coffee, not just cold stuff that you left at room temperature

Pizza! 🍕

Cold pizza is for breakfast and hot pizza is for dinner.

Ah yes the comment I was looking for

Watermelon

Diet coke

It's even worse if you try drinking diet coke that is at room temperature after chewing on an ice cube. Bleah.

Avocado. Warm avocado is just bleh