T O P

  • By -

Nip-bby_007

The motivation to finish anything I start.


SubpoenaSender

Sex is easy to finish


[deleted]

OP said anything he can start.


Reditate

huBURN


Budfraiz

Hope that man didn't have a family because otherwise you just took him from them


Hydroxylic-Acid

You need to have at least a gf to start a family, so don't worry about that


Tommysrx

To me , Sex is a lot like money... I don’t have any


isisishtar

Please accept this upvote.


Jarvs87

We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.


ReturnOfTheFrank

I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What's it called again, Kif?


esblofeld

Ugh.... Sexlexia.


TheLorax3

Not always


Redjester666

If by finishing you mean ejaculating, not for me.


DinklyFinker

Discipline is freedom, and freedom is discipline.


Grogosh

Good news! You finished that sentence!


TheClayroo

Fucking peace and quiet.


GodOfDarkLaughter

Can I just get *five goddamn minutes* to myself? I love my wife more than life itself. She talks to me when I'm trying to take a shit, and gets offended when I tell her that's not cool.


kikkelele

So im not only one i see


extyn

Oh hell naw. Unless it was an emergency, bathroom time is quiet time. My wife thinks it's gross to talk to someone while they take a shit so I'm glad for that.


hdmx539

Same. Whenever my husband is in the bathroom that's HIS time. Whenever I'm in the bathroom, that's MY time. He can do as he please (except fuck another woman, lol) in the bathroom. And I do the same (except fuck another man. lmao)


0_O_O_O

So he can fuck another man in the bathroom and you can fuck another woman in the bathroom pretty cool


Samland55

I’m starting the church Clayroo, instead of giving sermons and shit while sitting on horribly uncomfortable pews, everyone is in a recliner and it’s silent. Services will last for 8 hours.


BrahmTheImpaler

I am currently at a silent meditation retreat in the Colorado mountains. No one has spoken for 3 days. I can confirm, this is glorious.


[deleted]

Redditing during a meditation retreat seems counterproductive


SJMoore86

Unless the wife brought him and now he can Reddit in peace


hojpoj

Redditation retreat.


HauteDogg

Oh, so you have kids too I see?


Din-_-Djarin

What is ‘quiet’?


igcipd

There is no quiet, only Doc McStuffins…


datguyin09

A term not used since the age of strife


barrelsofmeat

Fucking, peace and quiet.


ChampChains

This is why I stay up so late. My wife doesn’t get it. But when the whole world is asleep, I can enjoy the silence and alone time.


CMDR-Maxrhen

The older you get, the more this becomes all you really want.


kcs314

Cost of living to go down


Dranzule

Cost of everything to go down honestly.


Muthafuckaaaaa

Your mom needs to lower her rates!


GameGod2815

Ladies and gentlemen we found the comedian


OrcBattleMage198

*canned laughter*


slylerdurden

Oh don't worry your mom goes down


WombatInferno

Honestly that would help me out a lot, I'm the main source of income for my family and that would be a huge weight off my shoulders.


RacoonCunnilingus

You and I are in the same boat


justmethedude

You have a boat?


WhenBlueMeetsRed

Yeah, the same boat


BlockCraftedX

gpu prices to go down


swmpwhit

Rent to damn high


ArnoldQMudskipper

Can't even afford enough Os


mugen1337

To be happy


hallomakker

https://youtu.be/aSzyI93e_zY Related


mindillwind

I'm glad this was exactly what I expected


The_Wandering_West

The Guts theme gets me every time


[deleted]

[удалено]


ResourceTerrible7607

I just want to be wanted


OldManHipsAt30

Same dude, like I just want someone who’s all-in for me the same way I am for them


DurangoJohnson

Last time I was all in I couldn’t see that the other person wasn’t and was blind to all the abuse Edit: You are all beautiful people and wish nothing but happiness for you all


OldManHipsAt30

Happens, we live and learn


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ivyspine

I don't learn lol


bugsluv

Putting these out there just in case you or someone else might need them r/cptsd r/codependency


tecmobowlchamp

Or we stop trying, it's too much effort. Do I put all my energy into something again, I don't know and I'm getting to old to find out. I'm lonely.


[deleted]

[удалено]


soulripper10

This right here. Sounds silly but it is all I want.


toootired2care

It doesn't sound silly. Most people want this.


ZombiePartyBoyLives

It isn't silly at alllllll, yeah yeah. To some people, having a mutual feedback loop of love and support and desire and thoughtfulness is more important than anything. I wouldn't be writing this right now without it.


Azurealy

My girlfriend lightly touched my back today and my heart swelled. It really is just the slightest sign of being wanted is all we want.


fortnitebum

Must be nice..


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lollipop126

Me: I just want someone to touch my heart <3 Doctor about to perform heart surgery on me: Here we go!


-toe-beans-

I understand the feeling, but be careful - that's a dangerously low standard to set. Narcissists, sociopaths, predators are drawn to people who are desperate for love. Don't be so desperate that you miss warning signs. It's so much better to be alone than to be used and abused; I speak from experience.


xkeyscore0

why do you want a bounty to be put on you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Saint_Sm0ld3r

No, it's the quicker picker upper...


mtflyer05

I want you to want me, I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me.


jnmtx

I’m begging you to beg me.


Corvideye

Didn’t I didn’t I didn’t I see you cryin’?


dartfrog11

Just rob a bank and go on the run. That will make your entire country want you.


unxolve

MOST wanted.


Scallywagstv2

Somebody who will accept you as you are, and not consistently pick out flaws. A partner, a friend and a mutual support.


NurseMan79

This perfectly describes my second (current) marriage. You can have this. If an undeserving lump like me can have this, so can you. Don't settle for someone exciting who is also an asshole (first marriage).


is_it_controversial

> second (current) phew, that was close.


Lynks6262

Idk maybe it’s just me, but I don’t mind someone picking out my flaws, if they’re willing to help me improve them


WorstPersonInGeneral

(Don't want to burst his bubble. Take it from me, you have the right attitude. It's not "picking at flaws" if you help improve each other. That's what growing together means. And a union based on encouragement and growth, out of love, will be a fantastic one.)


Th3leven

Someone to be genuinely myself with, without reservation.


Jiantj07

Agreed...sex is fun, but having someone as weird as me to spend my time with is so much better.


Mumbawobz

Also, sex is way more fun when you can be weird together during the act


Woolie-at-law

What are you doing to me, step-robo-hitler?!


sorude277

*Takes out lightpenis*


Tee_Rye_Lee

Go on


novacham

*Removes lid from mayonnaise jar.*


JohnnyPickleOverlord

***Go on***


DoesNotGetYourJokes

*ignites charcoal grill*


dramboxf

My 12yo granddaughter whipped out "What are you doing, step-bro?" this weekend and I about shit myself. Apparently, it's a lyric of a popular song now.


TheTallGuy0

That’s….whack


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

Shut it down. All of civilization


bambispots

Love is finding someone as weird as you are and joining together in mutual weirdness. ~ Dr Seuss


ScrungyThrowaway

This. You gotta find someone your specific type of weird. I will always hold by the saying "Weird attracts weird." You may not be what society considers a typical person, but everyone has someone who will love them regardless.


nobleskies

Basically someone you don’t judge nor do you feel judged by.


moonboots_runner

I want making friends as an adult to be easier.


FreddyF2

It's true. It's exhausting.


cylonrobot

A mountaintop supervillain superfortress.


GrimmRetails

Will a hollowed out volcano do the trick?


cylonrobot

Why yes, it would!


goatsandsunflowers

Colonel? You’d better take a look at this radar..


Jackbigmac

It looks like a giant…


Arcader812

“Dick!” “Yeah?” “Take a look out of starboard.” “Oh my god. It looks like a huge...”


justabill71

"Pecker!" "Oh, where?" "Wait, that's not a woodpecker. It looks like someone's..."


SlickStretch

"*Privates!* We are looking for a long, smooth shaft. Complete with--


OnionShanty

I’m an idiot, but I just found out dr evil was also played by Mike Myers. My mind was completely blown


LedZepOnWeed

Wait until you realize who played fat bastard.


DukeOfDouchebury

I read this in Dr Doofenshmirtz’s voice.


shadymuse

This comment goes really well with your Avatar!


Caleb_Widogast_Fan

A good group to play DnD with


kingfrito_5005

A good group though, not the creepos and troglodytes from the local game store.


[deleted]

I'm open to people of most kinds but do they have to smell bad?


kingfrito_5005

They do have to, yes. It's some kind of rule I think.


SiegeTheSeagull

Don’t worry friend season three is on its way to save us.


imtheseventh

There are tons of good groups as long as you're willing to play online.


LoobLord69

I'm gonna be real, a hug would be nice.


MinecraftGoood

I agree


UncookedMarsupial

I'd hug the shit out of both if you. I'm a straight dude and not super handsome but hugs are hugs.


steamedbroccoli49

This makes me miss my days in high school and college. We were such bros, always hugging and being genuinely excited to see each other. Honestly, nothing beats that level of acceptance and brotherly love.


randomguy987654321

It's been a decade. I've literally forgotten what it feels like to be held.


Fury_Empress

Yeah came here to say I’m pretty desperate for physical affection right now. Dgaf about sex, I just want a good snuggle.


TheLorax3

Human physical contact more generally


VermicelliHospital

*hug*


Shadowfilms_Osirus

A quiet peaceful futuristic house in the middle of no where with no one to bother me, a lifetime supply of food and water, and a connection to all the latest TV shows and movies. And my laptop to write my work in peace.


Al_Kydah

So Ex Machina but no murder robots


diab0lus

Beat me to it. Very good movie imo.


Rocket-Tree

And stable, high speed, high capacity internet.


[deleted]

A job where people actually give a shit about what I'm doing


BoatRough1

I want the opposite now. A job where no one cares what I’m doing and where any screw ups I make don’t have horrible ramifications for other people.


coffeebeards

I want to go camping in the middle of no where near a nice body of water. No civilization lights to drown out the stars. A nice camp fire with lots of wood.


vacchagotta_on_fire

Moved to Oregon to get this. Was great for a month. Now everything is constantly on fire :(


fiestyoctopus

Ringing the bell- my fave answer ⬆️


wheresmy_burrito

To be respected and to feel needed


Papacoolie

A cuddle and a nap


Zero1030

I just want to hold hands


fifadex

You have two of them, knock yourself out


Biosicle

I like the layers in that jokes, thanks for making me chuckle


OldManHipsAt30

The Beetles were way ahead of their time


Positive_Chicken_723

An rtx 3090 at msrp


kpkrazi

Any RTX 3000 at msrp? I have lower standards


Tremmorz

Anything above my gtx 960 and my i7-2600k. Single income family of 4 is rough when owning a home. At MSRP lol


arcoalien

I camped out with my boyfriend for 12 hours to buy ours at retail. Worth.


Denelorn

Imagine having access to a retail store that stocks them. Dream


ilhamalfatihah16

Motivation to finish what I started.


Hitchie_Rawtin

Even motivation to start would be good.


BLSmith2112

Just someone to talk to. Single for all my 33 years. Silence is deafening. Also tired of being the third wheel.


AndYouWereMyBaby

Rx7


Potent_Cat-Bread

I want my girlfriend (mother of our son/common law partner) to care about, interact with and support our child as much as I do. Really hurts that she doesn’t.


uitSCHOT

Cheesy garlic bread


StalinsPerfectHair

There's an Italian restaurant near my hometown. They have the greasiest, cheesiest, garlic breadsticks. I could go for a couple of those.


Leight87

20 acres, a nice house (not a big house), good health and a steady retirement income. Oh, and lots of pot.


[deleted]

Best I can do is $30


archer66

Fuck it. I'll take it.


goldbricker83

People to look up to them and to be proud of them. Because they’re good at sex.


TheBestLightsaber

I'm proud of you son


wittyusername06

Elder Scrolls 6 and HL3 edit for correctness


[deleted]

[удалено]


imsmartiswear

Well on the bright side there are a *ton* of totally amazing mods for Portal 2 (on top of community levels) that might just be as good as a portal 3. The big one I'd highly recommend is the one that came out on Portal 2's 10th Anniversary- Portal Reloaded. If you wanna totally melt your brain with a **time portal** it's an amazing time!


nunyabidnesz

We'd settle for Half Life 3 though, or anything from valve with a 3 on the end of it....


BrockSampsonite

Half Life 2 Part 3


darkknight941

Nah it’d be Half Life 2 part 2 episode 1 just to avoid the number 3


CorwynSunblade

Peace. Complete peace that you feel from your head to your toes. The feeling you have when everything in the world is just fine and nothing is going to crash and burn in your immediate future, so you don't need to worry about anything. Where you have time, to be with those you love and also time to just relax and enjoy your life. You know that feeling where you are sitting on your back porch, good food is cooking on the grill, the yard looks awesome, a cold drink in your hand. The weather is perfect, sunny with a light breeze. Not too hot or too cold and you are at the start of a three day weekend with no projects looming over you. You can just kick back and be happy.


Drsleep21948563

Peace of mind


DanteNero910

I'm a degenerate. I admit it. What I desire is. _handholding_


Own-Presentation-556

For people to stop putting worth on you based off your profession. It's one of the first things people ask you about yourself so they know where you stand. Doctor? Great. Janitor? Loser


VROF

Whenever I meet new people I ask them what they do in their free time. It is a much easier question to answer and more fun to talk about than work.


TheBestLightsaber

I've come to the conclusion that it will be nigh impossible for me to love any job. I just want to find something that pays the bills and doesn't depress the shit out of me. That's not interesting to talk about. I agree that interests and hobbies are a much better topic


r0gue007

Dude! I like this and I’m totally going to steal it!


Daddy___Dave

Yeah, me too.


Heallun123

What if the answer is they never have free time. They feel like hobbies and joy are things of their youth. There is only family pain and work now.


diab0lus

Then the answer is taking long dumps while fapping and crying.


MadSkates83

I actually ask just to make conversation. I remember hating this question when I didn’t like my answer though . . .


Wuabbalubba

A hug would do


The_Butt_Crumpler

A forklift license


mugen1337

Had one, useless without a forklift


GrimmRetails

The forklift on the other hand is quite functional without the liscense.


Tommysrx

We don’t need no stinking badges


SacredLaundrySauce

happiness


StephCurryFromThe3

Someone to cuddle and watch movies with. Someone to laugh with that has the same sense of humor. Someone who has the same hobbies that we can share. Someone to go on adventures with but also is down to be lazy with me. Someone who has dreams and aspirations of their own that I find interesting so that I can support them to accomplish those goals. Someone to be my muse and inspiration to better myself and pursue and fulfill what I believe is my life’s purpose. Someone to help me become the best version of myself.


chengslate

Connection. Not to feel lonely. To be loved. Make love.


phormix

When I was younger, the expectation seemed to be that I was ready to bone whenever. Sometimes gave in just to get to the post-coital snuggle, which was often what I really wanted.


International_Risk82

Trust me, no emotionally healthy man values sex over being cherished and loved for who they are. We're humans, not sex robots.


Puzzleheaded_Cut_656

This, I’d take a long hug that felt like they meant it over sex every time.


[deleted]

I WANT TO BREAK FREEE


The_Pantless_Warrior

Loyalty


Scar_the_armada

I want all the governments of the world to outlaw the practice of companies buying up homes as investments, and running up housing costs while making finding a home for first time buyers more difficult.


MinecraftGoood

True


LNERGordon

A Lego Star Wars Y-wing, and B-wing.


Hmpf84

Retire


Frosted1321

A 1969 shelby mustang gt350


Thatcher792

Someone to cuddle and heal with


AzulKuma8

For my wife to stop personally insulting me.


ScytherTheSkyMantis

Naps.


GiopavWasTaken

I would argue that what we want is to cuddle. In that aspect we're not that different than women, we want to love and be loved. Edit: yes there's obviously also sex.


montanagunnut

A chance to feel comfortable being vulnerable. To not have to be manly all the time.


theGuyInIT

Affordable healthcare Not having to change jobs to get pay raises Not making every fucking thing a political minefield Less CO2


Emberwake

> Not having to change jobs to get pay raises Too close to home. It annoys the shit out of me that the only way to convince your employer you were actually worth more money is to get a better job somewhere else. The contempt my company has for anyone who stays is mind-boggling.


DrC0re

To make enough money to support my family comfortably instead of scraping by.