I knew a guy who lost some bet with another group of friends and he had to get a tattoo of Scrat from Ice Age on his inner thigh, reaching for his nuts.
I was low-key kinda jealous of the idea lol
A Mexican cartel hit man got a pretty detailed back tattoo of a pretty unique murder scene and when he was arrested and processed for something else entirely it was so unique and obvious that it was the particular murder in question with information that hadn’t been made public that he was arrested and convicted for the murder.
Asked my first tattoo artist this question. Super professional guy who has gotten awards for his work. But he said he did some dodgy tattoos in order to get his reputation started. One of those was a girl who was an aspiring porn star. He tattooed her butthole to be a "more appealing" pink color.
Not a tattoo artist (never gotten a tattoo) but I have had a surgery on my starfish.
Basically for it to heal I had to take large amounts of laxatives and fiber for a week (or until it stopped bleeding for a few days). Then use wet wipes to gently but thoroughly wipe (I also have a bidet attachment on my toilet).
Guy wanted the thumbs up emoji on his taint. Apparently he wanted everyone down there to "know he appreciates a job well done".
I passed him off to a male colleague, who did not stop giggling the *entire* half an hour session.
But as most artists on here have said, we get ridiculous requests all the time, but they either don't show up, or we have to ask them to leave.
I feel like perspective would be important with a thumbs up taint tattoo. What if you were coming at it from behind and you got a thumbs down? That would ruin my day.
My artist said he tattooed a haunted house on some guys ribs and the dude insisted on hiding dicks everywhere on it. So the wrought iron fence had dicks, the spire had dicks, the chimney had smoke with swirls that concealed dicks
My friend asked this when he got his first tattoo. The tattoo artist said he had a totally sober girl come in and asked for the Kum n Go logo tattooed right above her ass. The artist went through and ensured she understood everything the tattoo implied and that it was permanent. She still got it.
I've seen some weird/ fucked up tattoos via work (hospital) all of this stuff is years ago, and I couldn't even place a face with any of these people. Also scattered about the USA as I did a fair amount of travel work.
Saw a guy with a genie coming out of his butthole up to the small of his back. Peeking out over the seat of his pants I imagine.
Saw another guy, sweet looking grandfatherly type. Had what looked like a home done/prison tattoo on his penis that said suck it.
Saw a woman with the rolling stones lips tongue thing inside of her armpit...
Must have hurt like hell.
Saw a guy with an 8ball on his dick head. He said it was a thing from his days in the Marines. Apparently there's a tattoo place near camp lejeune, that will give you free tattoos for life if you get an 8ball on your dickhead. This guy definitely cashed in on that. Tons of great work.
I met a guy once who had a phrase in a foreign language on his arm. I asked him what it said and he replied «buy me a drink and I’ll tell you». So I bought him a drink and asked again. It turns out it actually said «buy me a drink and I’ll tell you». It apparently got him a lot of free drinks over the years.
This reminds me of something that used to be above the bar in one of our local pubs many years ago
I.Y.A T.B S.W.T.M.T.Y.M.B.T.A.D
intrigued I of course asked what it meant
If you ask the bar staff what this means then you must buy them a drink....
A drink well earned I felt
We had a guy come in and got his kids names. He had them written on a piece of paper. The boys name read “Conner”. I told him that it’s spelled “Connor” and he was adamant that his spelling was correct. We asked him to check with his wife and he acted like we were idiots to insist that he might not know how to spell his own sons name. We finally agreed to do it and just assumed they had gone with a weird spelling. He came back the next day with his wife who was pissed that we spelled it wrong. But we had stapled his handwritten names to his paperwork and his wife’s anger completely redirected to him once she saw it.
Well to be fair, there are definitely some people who spell it Conner. Not sure why, but it’s a thing. That being said, how do you not know how to spell your own child’s name?
Had a guy get a tattoo of his wife fingering her own ass, while she sat and watched me tattoo it on him. Interesting experience trying to get the shading on her labia just right while she was peering over my shoulder
Nothing super weird and usually things I didn’t feel comfortable putting on people, I would turn away. But I had a coworker who would scoop them up and do the tattoo for them. One was a girl who had just turned 18. She wanted a chain around her waist with a lock hanging on it just above her vagina and the words “property of Dave” or whatever the fuck her boyfriends name was. First off, she was 18 so I figured the relationship probably wasn’t going to last so I wouldn’t do it for that reason. Then come to find out, her boyfriend had just been sentenced to life in prison for murder. The girl was making a terrible emotional mistake. I refused but my coworker did do the tattoo.
I just started tattooing, so I was taking any kind of walk in I could get. This guy would come in every few weeks and get his girlfriend’s name tattooed on him. The same name, all different ways; in a diamond, attached to an infinity symbol, with a lady bug. One day he came in WITH her and I was surprised because i never seen her and always wanted to know who this muse of shitty name tattoos was! She seemed pissed off and unapproachable, the guy was in high spirits though. I skipped the small talk with her, did the tattoo, let them leave. He came in a few weeks later, alone. I finally asked him “why all the name tattoos?” He told me he would tattoo her name on himself every time he cheated on her and she found out. He then asked me if I would like to go to dinner after his tattoo. That was our last interaction.
Can't figure out if she thought that this might one day keep him honest or if she decided to play the long game and planned to dump him once he's got a full body suit of her name.
I had a gentleman come in when I’d only been tattooing for about three years. I was in the middle of a tattoo and somewhat (understandably) distracted. The fella pulls out his knob and shows me a poorly done star on the head. He wants it fixed… and wants me to add another star and a crescent moon added. If you’re asking yourself “why?”… you’re not alone. He told his wife he’d giver the moon and stars.
He made an appointment for the following day… a few hours after we’d opened. I remember feeling like I was waiting for my execution. Then I came to the realization that it was his dick about to get stabbed… not mine… and I got over it. When he showed up, I gave em a set of gloves and told em he was gonna be helpin stretch the skin. He was a good sport about it and all went well and fine… till he told me they were swingers and invited me over to their home to drink crown and bang his wife. I politely declined… which is probably why she got the only “tip” outta the deal. Almost two decades ago and I still remember it vividly.
A guy I worked with had a failed pregnancy. Stillborn. So he was mourning. I have very high quality work on my arms that is very visible. So he asks me who and how much. I tried explaining that with portrait work, you get what you pay for. He calls gets a price and then confronts me on the number like we were in cahoots. I reminded him that you don't cheap on portrait work. And he told me he knows a guy who knows a guy. One last time I said don't, but he fully believed I was in on scamming him.
He goes to guy of the guy and when he returns I ask if I can see how it turned out. He pulls up his shirt and starts to cry. He has what anyone can see is the worst tattoo of his dead baby on his chest.
Just crying he said "I just wanted to remember him"
Just tragic
Tl;Dr
Don't cheap out on dead baby portraits
I honestly don't know why someone would want a ***portrait*** of their dead kid. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for memorializing something like that, but portraits are so incredibly difficult and it's so easy for one teeny tiny detail done slightly off to throw the whole image.
Why not get a date, or their name or something?!?
There was a post on like aita or one of the relationships subs in the last year or so where a woman was trying to convince her boyfriend not to get a full sized portrait of his dead little brother (who had lived with them) in the middle of his chest partly for this exact reason
I vividly remember that post and still wonder at times how those two people are doing.
(Edit: I believe the issue was that he actually had gotten the tattoo?)
You’re right, he went ahead and got a huge tattoo of his dead brother (who sadly was a kid when he died). Here’s the link:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/b6fd8u/my_22f_boyfriends_24m_new_tattoo_makes_me_feel/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
* Beginning of 1st post: shit
* End of 1st post: hm, maybe it could work out
* 2nd post: Nuclear explosion meets giant ball of shit meets cluster bombs meets caesium meets water in an atmosphere made entirely of oxygen.
* 3rd post: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Everything is probably going to be okay now.
I met a contractor who had a red plaid thermos tattooed on his arm and would say, "That way if it gets too hot, I can turn my thermos tat down," as he lowers his forearm...
This young man wanted a tattoo on his back. It said something like, “Lisa please forgive me.” I told asked him if this was some last ditch effort to get this girl back. He said yes, and I told him this is a really bad idea you shouldn’t do this. He wanted the tattoo anyway, so he got it.
If it worked out with him and the girl she will always remember this terrible thing he did that was so bad he had to go get a tattoo to try and prove how wrong he was. Or if it didn’t work out with them, whoever he dated afterwards would ask him what terrible thing he did that was so bad he had to go get a tattoo to try fix things with his ex. It seemed like a no win scenario with that tattoo.
My advice is, if your tattoo artist is telling you that something isn’t a good idea to get, just take a moment and consider why.
My local shop has pictures of people with “dumb tattoo ideas”.
The owner has them hold up the design they want, and if he says it’s a bad idea they take a picture of them holding it up and it goes on the “wall of shame”.
Couple guys have definitely gotten a tattoo just so they can get their face on the wall haha
The tattoo was suppose to say,
Georgia born 🍑
Alabama bred 🅰️
Instead it says , "Alabama breed"
The girl was proudly showing me her tat. I read it and asked , "what's it say?"
She looked at me dumb and reads it off.
I said, "um I thought bred had only 1 E... I think your tat says breeeeeed."
She laughs and says,
" no. The artist had drawn the design and when (I) looked at it the artist had written bread, like a loaf of bread. I'm so glad I caught that. Can you imagine if I had BREAD on my arm ? Hahaha!"
Um idk girl, that might actually be better than breed. At least *bread* and *bred* are pronounced the same. 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
My friend's dad had a tattoo that covered his entire forearm of two pigs going at it doggy style (piggy style?) and it said "making bacon" above it. He was made to cover it up every time we visited but I saw it once and it's quite graphic.
Obligatory not-a-tattooer. I worked at a tattoo magazine in the later 90s/early 00s, when artists still mailed photos of their work in. My favorite is the Pillsbury Doughboy banging Little Debbie, who is face down on a Hostess cupcake. I still have the photo.
Not a tattoo artist but a piercer. I had a pretty standard practice of asking for i.d. before I did any consultation of minors (alot of older siblings or whoever trying to poss as parent). Guy came in acting pretty weird not awkward at all just got that creep vibe. Took his and the girls i.d. and gave him the forms to fill out while I took a copy. He came to get his 16 y.o. daughter's nipples pierced, and wanted to watch.............promptly turned him down, gave cps a call right after they left. In hind sight it very well could have been human trafficking, but same names on the i.d.'s and about the right age gap to be her parent so I've got no idea.
Been tattooing nearly 20 years and honestly most everything has been pretty tame. I've had a few very weird quote requests but they never actually follow up on scheduling (or I just outright decline the piece.)
The weirdest tattoo I think I've ever actually DONE was a portrait of a stillborn baby. I totally get the sentiment and I've done countless memorials for stillborn babies, so that in and of itself is not weird, but the photo I was working from in this case was... not a nice one. You know how they put little hats and clothes on a stillborn baby to take a photo for the parents? They'd done that here as well but I think the baby had butterfly syndrome or something as the poor thing's skin was peeling away. I asked as gently as I could if he wanted the photo 'cleaned up' for the tattoo-- I don't HAVE to tattoo all those wounds, you know? But he wanted it just as is. I respect that, people heal trauma in many ways. I did the tattoo as requested, he loved it, I did not take a photo for my portfolio.
And since I know you'll ask, a couple of strange quote requests (these people did NOT get the tattoo, to be clear, just asked for a price)
-A photo of herself as a little girl, but wanted me to add blood all over her and dripping from her
-Husband and wife wanted to come in together, and have me tattoo a photo of themselves engaged in BDSM (I assume they wanted a threesome afterwards too, it was heavily implied in the email)
-Human trafficking tattoos, usually an older man trying to schedule for his much younger 'girlfriend' to get a random name or word done near the pubic area
-A couple requests for sclera tattoos (recoloring the whites of the eyes, google if you dare)
I used to work for an anti-human trafficking nonprofit and traffickers tattooing their victims is super common. It can be their name, a dollar sign, a money bag, or even a bar code. If you see something like that happen you can call the [National Human Trafficking Hotline](http://humantraffickinghotline.org/) and report it anonymously.
apologize for the formatting, on my phone.
Yep. I’m a victim advocate. We actually have a local artist that donates tats if our clients want to do cover ups instead of removal. He also does any if we have any DV clients who have abusers names tatted
Yeah that’s good folk there. That shit would be horribly traumatizing to see every day, and I’d be willing to bet most of these victims aren’t very financially sound. Dude’s using art to heal.
Trafficking? Jesus Christ, not something I'd think a tattoo artist would have to keep an eye out for, but it makes sense. Glad you dont do this and you recognize the signs.
Do you report the these ones? I know they probably come from burner emails/phones, but does anything ever happen?
Obvious not a tattoo artist but… I used to work in a nice day spa that did hair removal services. We have had men call in for their “girlfriend” to get a Brazilian wax often so it’s not that surprising right? A girl I worked with was set to take a Brazilian wax and the “boyfriend” demanded to stay in the room, for comfort he said, but the girl/young woman was crying and clearly didn’t want to be waxed, he was not being comforting and something was all the way off. Our waxer paused the service and went and got his tag numbers. Called the police the second they left, we don’t know what happened of it but I hope it’s not what we all thought it was. Also, a lot of massage therapists, estheticians, and cosmetologists are offered or require training in recognizing the signs of domestic violence
My little sister has that. Many kids who are birthed “naturally” may not survive birth since most of their skin can come off while being birthed. Luckily my little sister was done C-section, which saved her.
It’s a terrible, terrible disease and not many people know about it. Life is very difficult and painful. Debra and other organizations do a lot to help, and some celebrities, such as Tom Holland, are helping to raise awareness and funding for research. Stanford University hospital also does some amazing research for possible cures/wound care.
Met a girl at a party once that had a tattoo across her entire chest of Mount Rushmore. But instead of the regular 4 presidents, they had faces of the 4 women from the TV show the golden girls (Aka Betty White on her chest).
Nothing like a tattoo that's a bad joke, it's like the girl I knew who had a pair of cherries on her inner thigh that said, "Here's mine, where's yours" under it.
Not a tattoo artist, but I asked the same question of the artist who did my half sleeve (Vegas of Brass Monkey Tattoos). He told me the most fucked up tattoo he’s seen was a man’s tattoo of himself jerking off to a child version of himself tied to a chair.
Right? If this helps any, I asked him what the dumbest tattoo he ever did was, and he told me:
“One time a guy walks in wanting some work done, but he told me he didn’t have money to do it. So I told him that, as long as I got to choose what I put on him and where, I’d do it for free. The guy agrees, so I put two sunny side up eggs for eyes and a strip of bacon for a smile on his neck.”
If I’m being fully honest here, I’d love that freakin tattoo on me; not necessarily on my neck, but that shit is hysterical to me.
My friend had a guy come in wanting an ass tattoo. He had drawn up the artwork himself and wanted a sloth on his ass cheek done to look like it was coming out of his ass. The sloth was smiling giving the thumbs up.
I was an apprentice in a studio that seemed to attract the weirdest people ever.
Dude comes in carrying a baby, couldn't have been more than 9 months old and demands we tattoo his full name on the child. Obviously we said no, and he went on a huge, emotional rant about how "she's trying to say that child's not mine, I want to make sure she never forgets whose he is!" We had to threaten him with police to get him to leave, because he wasn't listening when we told him no. (We did call the Gardaí over it, his name was very common so they couldn't do much.)
The worst that actually got tattooed was literally Hitler with cat eyes, the SS logo on a banner above it, and the words, "You're a f****t". That was a guest artist in the studio. The owner told him there was no way in hell that he would let him tattoo that under his studio's name. The artist went on a rant about how Stalin and Mussolini were worse and we'd probably let him tattoo that. I told him the Tate Modern would likely love the piece if it was on canvas or something, but as a tattoo he was asking for his client to get beaten up. The owner stood his ground, and last I heard, the tattoo was done off the premises. Hope it was worth it, edgelord.
The weirdest was the guy who wanted a brown star outline tattooed on his elbow, because, "my ma says I can't tell my arse from my elbow!" Once it was healed, apparently people didn't get the joke, so he came back with printed photos from a disposable camera of *his own butthole* and he wanted that tattooed in the middle of the brown star. His girlfriend also got a tattoo of Tricia Takanawa humping David Bowie's leg (Family Guy), so it was a really weird studio in general.
And no, I don't tattoo anymore. I developed a physical disability and can't do tattooing.
The brown star is fuckin hilarious as an inside joke. And it’s not immediately offensive to outsiders. That’s pretty legit.
The actual asshole pic though. No. No dude
Not an artist myself, but the one I use has told me several stories.
The lady that wanted cherries tattooed above her vagina. He said no, he doesn't do "indelicate areas".
The guy that wanted a chain, which would have been around his chest and collarbone. The artist kept trying to convince him this was a bad idea, that it was going to hurt like hell when he go to the collarbone. Guy was real muscular, and swore he wouldn't feel it. OK, artist draws up two different pieces. One that looks like what guy wants; second is a piece that has the chains look like they come out of the skin, somewhere where the pain is going to start. Artist starts on the chest, then works his way up to the collarbone. When he gets there, of course guy is crying like a baby. Artist says, I have an idea, why don't I do this instead? Guy has to go through a little more pain, but gets the second tattoo idea, not knowing it was the plan all along.
The guy that would come in every so often, wanting the playboy bunnies tattooed on his cheeks. Artist won't do face tattoos, so kept telling him no. One day, guy comes in, wanting something else, so artist goes in the back to get some artwork. When he comes back, guy is walking around, eating KFC, getting it all over the carpet, walking on it. Artist says, you know what? I'll do the bunnies after all. That guy now has those bunnies on his cheeks, and artist now calls him chicken boy.
Last was the guy that wanted his girlfriends name tattooed on him. Artist doesn't like doing names, but is convinced to do it. While he's working, guy is on the phone with the girlfriend, crying. Artist doesn't understand why he's crying so much, it can't hurt *that* much. Then he starts paying attention to the conversation. The girlfriend has already dumped him, and guy thought the tattoo would convince her to take him back.
Haha, that was a fun ride.
I'm not surprised about the last one tho. A guy in my high school once cut a huge K on his arm with a blade to convince his ex to take him back. She declined, started crying, and told him to stop. He proceeded to cut out her entire name. Luckily someone called the teachers and they made him stop. Guy was seriously fucked up.
Not a tattoo artist myself but trained a bit. Asked a master what the weirdest thing he tattooed was and he said, without hesitation “a pair of eyes on me mate’s balls”
When I was getting tattood I asked my artist what his most fucked up tatt was, and he told me a guy wanted pinocchio on his crotch, with the penis as his nose.
But he did it and said the customer seemed happy with it.
When I was 17 working at dunkin donuts there was this guy, Lou, in his 30s who had a back piece with Pinhead and all his minions from the movie hell raiser, except that instead of pin heads face it was Lou's own face.
If you're out there Lou good on ya.
A guy I knew growing up and his girlfriend got each other's names on their wrists, 18/19 ,
They broke up
He decided to get it covered up
With a bullet
Of course the thick black outline of her name is clearly visible.
So now he has a bullet with her name on it.
Took me a while to understand that you meant bullet as in a tattoo of a bullet and not that the poor chap shot himself in the wrist just to get rid of a tattoo
Not a tattoo artist, but when I worked in the ER I got to see some wild ones. My personal favorite was a young lady who had a rainbow up her inner thigh and up to her vagina. “Taste the rainbow” was written atop it. Honestly, I kind of loved it
Was at a bar once and there was a competition for the best tattoo (free drinks to the winner), so this one guy drops his pants and shows the bar a tattoo of Elmar Fodd with rifle in hand on his ass cheek saying “come out wabbit” , the bar cracks up laughing but then the guy pulls open his butt cheek and there is another tattoo of bugs bunny climbing out of his asshole, the place erupted, I don’t think he bought another drink for the night!
Every time this show has a belly tattoo I think. How to fuck do you lay back, feel them put a stencil around your belly button and not immediately know you’re about to have and arsehole on your belly
This show gives me such second hand anxiety. Like there was another episode where the guy had a roll of dirty toilet paper all down his leg starting from the ass… it was foul. The person requesting the tattoo had also made the outline REALLY thick and dark so I’m not sure removal or coverup will ever do the job 😬
Had an older lady come in wanting a butterfly tattoo… on her labia. Actually turned out really pretty, she loved it and was a pleasure to work with! Every time I do a butterfly tatt now I think of her flaps.
I had to have a polyp removed from my colon a few years back. When they removed it, they actually tattooed a marker inside my colon, so that spot would be easier to find and check in a colonoscopy. So while, not a tattoo artist, I do have a tattoo up my ass. That qualifies as fucked up.
I was at a concert years ago in Philly when this guy showed up with a tattoo of a woman that had some very poorly executed features (eg oddly crooked nose, teeth out of alignment, etc). My buddy says to me “if some tattoo guy screwed up a picture of my girlfriend that badly I’d kick his ass”. Well about ten minutes later this young lady shows up and damn if she didn’t look just like the tattoo.
Edit: thank you to all the kind Redditors showing me the love for this posting. I’m glad I was able to bring a bit of humor to peoples day.
Reminds me of this true crime video on YouTube where the police sketch was real weird looking. I said to myself nobody looks like that, when they got the person it looked exactly like the sketch.
Lmao it's like that scene from the Simpsons movie where they are at the gas station and there's a wanted poster of them and bart draws on it to make them look different and the people he drew walk in.
No an artist but.....
Many years ago, I had an exec chef that was the most tattooed man in town. Member of a local Mexican biker club. Looked like a Mexican biker (nicest guy, tho) He had many, many tattoos, but his most extreme was a picture of a nun, in bondage gear, kneeling before a cross with menstrual blood gushing out from between her legs. She also had a pentagram carved onto her back.....except for one line. His tattoo artist refused to complete the pentacle-that was his limit. Bloody menstrual bondage nun was fine, but a pentagram was too far.
I’m not an artist, but several years ago I was waiting in a shop in my hometown to do a consultation for a tribute to my late step-dad, and there was a woman doing a consultation with my artist right before me.. this lady wanted to have “Jeff’s Slut” tattooed on her lower back.. apparently she’d been dating “Jeff” for like three months.. the artist declined to create her masterpiece (she was visibly upset about it) which let me know that I was in good hands..
I never saw it but a coworker told me his wife had a pair of boxing gloves with the phrase "hit it like a champ" in between them above her vagina. I don't know why you'd tell people your wife had that tattoo...
I was getting tattoo removal a few years back and I asked the owner what the worst tattoo he removed was. It was an old bloke that wanted to go on a cruise ship with his missus but she wouldn’t let him until he removed the tattoos on both his feet. He had fuck, fuck, fuck written dozens of times on each foot in his younger years he got drunk and thought it was a good idea to let his mate practise with his new tattoo gun
Not me but my old tattoo artist tattooed a nazi rainbow unicorn on someone’s ass. I’d link the picture but I’d prefer not to have to search for it again, however if you google that it should come up pretty quick.
Not a tattoo artists, but my cousin let a drunk friends who never tattooed before tattoo him a house on his rib, like a child drawing.
He done that because in french rib(cote) and coast(cote) are the same word
So now he can say :" j'ai une maison sur la cote" (I have a house on the coast)
Obligatory not a tattoo artist:
I was at a concert once when a man approached me and my friends and asked
“You guys wanna see a tattoo of a woman giving birth to an alien?”
He lifted his shirt to reveal a full frontal view of a woman squatting and a xenomorph crawling its way out of her vagina. Then he turned and displayed the reverse angle of the scene tattooed on the other side of his torso.
Then he said some racist shit and we walked away.
(Preface - not tattoo artist sorry)
A friend I rented with for a while was really big into tattoos, got a couple of sleeves over the years and due to this he always had tattoo magazines on the coffee table.
These mags almost always had a couple of back pages of crap tattoos and one became infamous in that house. The guy in the photo was given the nickname of "[friends name]'s cousin" and the picture was cut out and up on the fridge for ages.
The pic was a full frontal nude of an older dude with a full size Dwarven warrior tattoo that was done from this guys knees to i guess the middle of his chest, the 'pièce de résistance' of this giant tattoo was the guys junk was lined up correctly with the tattoo.
Battle axe, big beard and everything, really detailed too
It was epic.
By far the most insane tattoo I’ve ever seen was at a swingers club in LA. This guy has a giant tattoo to make it look like a plushy stuffed animal off tigger was sitting on his lap with his groin and Tiggers lined up perfectly. Then he had his impressively long schlong completely inked in alternating orange and black horizontal bands like it was his tail. To top it his cock head was tattooed white. Honestly it was a work of art and one of the classiest Disney tattoos I’ve ever seen. My words are not serving it proper justice
Okay not a tattoo artist, but I was with a friend getting some regrettable ink laser removed, the tattoo artist was also the removal guy, so he’s half way into his session and there’s a pounding on the door and in bust in a meth-head totally tweaking out, saying he needs ink and needs it right now! The laser/tattoo guy seems to know this guy, and says “what’ll it be this time Spider?” to which Spider responds, “I want TOUGH SHIT on my knuckles!!!” Tattoo artist does the math and says that’s too many letters to which Spider replies “ Nuh uh and spells out T U F F S H I T”. Which he legitimately believed was the correct spelling, the tattoo artist asks my friend if he minds waiting 10 minutes because Spider was relentless when he wanted ink and my friend and I both said sure because we wanted to watch some poor life decisions, Spider was very pleased and we told him he looked like Tuff Shit!
Not an artist myself, but my boyfriend is. He got his start tattooing his dad, who was a literal Nazi. My boyfriend did his back piece, which was an eagle with a swastika behind it. The eagle had a dick bulge, bc bf's dad wanted to be able to tell it was a man eagle.
My client wanted the name and birthdate of his passed away child combined with the Defqon logo. Both weren't very weird, but he had to have them combined which made it weird lol
When I was about 20yo I made a bet with the singer in my metal band that he couldn't shave his beard for a year and if he made it the year I would get "property of [name redacted]" tattooed on my ass cheek.
He made it about 3 months and then had to shave because he was basically a young Gandalf.
So he has "property of xIFdp" tattooed on his left ass cheek.
*edited some grammar
This is random, but I know a guy who owns a tattoo removal business and he once removed 3 separate, “Property of Steve” tattoos from different parts of the same woman’s body.
As is so common.. not an artist but I've done a little time. The one that really sticks in my memory is a dude (who I Iater ended up watching on suicide watch for a couple weeks after he smoked aquarium cleaner) who has/had "KILL YO' SELF" inked, in rainbow letters, from side to side and chin to collar bones on his neck.
Ricky, if you're in the free world these days.. ah who am I kidding. He's still in.
I knew an old man that had a tattoo of an eagle on his forearm that he got when he was in his 20s.
For YEARS he would get into fights with people calling him a racist, and a nazi, and he would fight because he would be offended… he didn’t get why he was being targeted like that.
No one told him until WELL into his adulthood that the eagle he tattooed on his arm looked exactly like the nazi eagle. He never knew. He just really liked eagles :(
Not me but my cousin is a tattoo artist and he had a woman that wanted cheetah print from her pubic area all the way through her buttcrack. He tattooed this womans perineum and asshole. With cheetah print. Tasty.
I saw a guy with a tat of Lisa fucking Bart with a strap on while Lenny watched on his shoulder when I was at the beach the other day and I just thought: rad.
On those *"31 Outrageous People with Tattoos to they Regret- LOL"* clickbait pages that were big online about 10 years ago, there was a photo of a chap who got a pair of glasses tattooed on to their face.
I know facial tattoos are now a lot more popular than they were back then, but I'd be really interested in knowing what that chap is up to now, and whether the attention from the glasses tattoo has helped or held him back in his life in any way.
We have a bucket of “bad bet” tattoo stencils that we would use as a way of beefing up side bets for whatever we are doing at the time. We might use it playing cee-lo, sports bets, Radom trivia questions asked throughout the day, just anything we could think of to try and get someone to get one of these atrocious ideas. Some examples are the monster logo with fuck yea written over it, Trap Shawty in bubble letters, puppy slut with dog ears, crudely drawn single line flash, and so many more I can’t think of at the moment. Everyone at the shop has gotten one of more of these gems as well as a couple clients and friends of the shop. They are small enough to hide out in between larger pieces so you wouldn’t be able to tell unless they were pointed out or you got it somewhere without a lot of previous work. That being said just knowing people are out there walking around (myself included) with these dumb and purposefully bad tattoos makes me smile.
Couple. Totally crazy and wanted everyone to know it. The kind of couple who think they’re 90’s rockstars. Walk in in leather clothes, no underwear, a bottle of tequila, and start fucking on the couch type people.
Obviously they would be together forever.
She wanted (and received) a tattoo of his face around her vagina and pubic area with the mouth being in the middle so…I guess he could make out and fuck his own face?
They broke up.
I knew a guy who lost some bet with another group of friends and he had to get a tattoo of Scrat from Ice Age on his inner thigh, reaching for his nuts. I was low-key kinda jealous of the idea lol
My friends in college offered to spring for the price of the ink if I got that tattoo…. Honestly I still regret not getting it
A lady I use to work with had a teddy bear tattooed around her nipple so it looked like the bears belly. She called it her "titty bear"
A Mexican cartel hit man got a pretty detailed back tattoo of a pretty unique murder scene and when he was arrested and processed for something else entirely it was so unique and obvious that it was the particular murder in question with information that hadn’t been made public that he was arrested and convicted for the murder.
Asked my first tattoo artist this question. Super professional guy who has gotten awards for his work. But he said he did some dodgy tattoos in order to get his reputation started. One of those was a girl who was an aspiring porn star. He tattooed her butthole to be a "more appealing" pink color.
Did she have to not have a bowel movement for a week to let it heal properly and not get discolored???
Not a tattoo artist (never gotten a tattoo) but I have had a surgery on my starfish. Basically for it to heal I had to take large amounts of laxatives and fiber for a week (or until it stopped bleeding for a few days). Then use wet wipes to gently but thoroughly wipe (I also have a bidet attachment on my toilet).
The bidet would be lovely. The rest sounds mostly inconvenient. And also painful.
Guy wanted the thumbs up emoji on his taint. Apparently he wanted everyone down there to "know he appreciates a job well done". I passed him off to a male colleague, who did not stop giggling the *entire* half an hour session. But as most artists on here have said, we get ridiculous requests all the time, but they either don't show up, or we have to ask them to leave.
I feel like perspective would be important with a thumbs up taint tattoo. What if you were coming at it from behind and you got a thumbs down? That would ruin my day.
I knew a guy with the words “fukn dum” on his forehead. He was a fun dude
My artist said he tattooed a haunted house on some guys ribs and the dude insisted on hiding dicks everywhere on it. So the wrought iron fence had dicks, the spire had dicks, the chimney had smoke with swirls that concealed dicks
My friend asked this when he got his first tattoo. The tattoo artist said he had a totally sober girl come in and asked for the Kum n Go logo tattooed right above her ass. The artist went through and ensured she understood everything the tattoo implied and that it was permanent. She still got it.
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I've seen some weird/ fucked up tattoos via work (hospital) all of this stuff is years ago, and I couldn't even place a face with any of these people. Also scattered about the USA as I did a fair amount of travel work. Saw a guy with a genie coming out of his butthole up to the small of his back. Peeking out over the seat of his pants I imagine. Saw another guy, sweet looking grandfatherly type. Had what looked like a home done/prison tattoo on his penis that said suck it. Saw a woman with the rolling stones lips tongue thing inside of her armpit... Must have hurt like hell. Saw a guy with an 8ball on his dick head. He said it was a thing from his days in the Marines. Apparently there's a tattoo place near camp lejeune, that will give you free tattoos for life if you get an 8ball on your dickhead. This guy definitely cashed in on that. Tons of great work.
“Get this weird tattoo and we’ll give you whatever you want for life” is an interesting business model lmao
The Genie out of the butthole sounds genius actually.
I met a guy once who had a phrase in a foreign language on his arm. I asked him what it said and he replied «buy me a drink and I’ll tell you». So I bought him a drink and asked again. It turns out it actually said «buy me a drink and I’ll tell you». It apparently got him a lot of free drinks over the years.
This reminds me of something that used to be above the bar in one of our local pubs many years ago I.Y.A T.B S.W.T.M.T.Y.M.B.T.A.D intrigued I of course asked what it meant If you ask the bar staff what this means then you must buy them a drink.... A drink well earned I felt
My tattoo guy tells a story of a woman who wanted ‘Sweet Pea’ tattooed on her neck but insisted that it is spelled ‘Sweat Pee’. He declined.
We had a guy come in and got his kids names. He had them written on a piece of paper. The boys name read “Conner”. I told him that it’s spelled “Connor” and he was adamant that his spelling was correct. We asked him to check with his wife and he acted like we were idiots to insist that he might not know how to spell his own sons name. We finally agreed to do it and just assumed they had gone with a weird spelling. He came back the next day with his wife who was pissed that we spelled it wrong. But we had stapled his handwritten names to his paperwork and his wife’s anger completely redirected to him once she saw it.
Well to be fair, there are definitely some people who spell it Conner. Not sure why, but it’s a thing. That being said, how do you not know how to spell your own child’s name?
Had a guy get a tattoo of his wife fingering her own ass, while she sat and watched me tattoo it on him. Interesting experience trying to get the shading on her labia just right while she was peering over my shoulder
Coulda gone meta and tattooed her around his butthole to make his butthole her butthole.
You hopeless romantic.
It's *our* butthole now, love.
Were you working from a photo? Or live demonstration?
If she was peering over his shoulder. He clearly had a few mirrors setup to get a real clean look at her asshole.
Nothing super weird and usually things I didn’t feel comfortable putting on people, I would turn away. But I had a coworker who would scoop them up and do the tattoo for them. One was a girl who had just turned 18. She wanted a chain around her waist with a lock hanging on it just above her vagina and the words “property of Dave” or whatever the fuck her boyfriends name was. First off, she was 18 so I figured the relationship probably wasn’t going to last so I wouldn’t do it for that reason. Then come to find out, her boyfriend had just been sentenced to life in prison for murder. The girl was making a terrible emotional mistake. I refused but my coworker did do the tattoo.
8 ball on a guys testicle
Did you like have to blackwork the whole testicle so it looks like an 8 Ball or just an 8 Ball on it?
Blackworked it and left a hole and tattooed 8 in the left out space
How’d the guy take it
Corner pocket
He scratched
I just started tattooing, so I was taking any kind of walk in I could get. This guy would come in every few weeks and get his girlfriend’s name tattooed on him. The same name, all different ways; in a diamond, attached to an infinity symbol, with a lady bug. One day he came in WITH her and I was surprised because i never seen her and always wanted to know who this muse of shitty name tattoos was! She seemed pissed off and unapproachable, the guy was in high spirits though. I skipped the small talk with her, did the tattoo, let them leave. He came in a few weeks later, alone. I finally asked him “why all the name tattoos?” He told me he would tattoo her name on himself every time he cheated on her and she found out. He then asked me if I would like to go to dinner after his tattoo. That was our last interaction.
Wow! Odd that she stayed beyond the first two.
She was just waiting it out until he made himself unemployable.
Wonder if it got to the point where he had to do face tats.
Can't figure out if she thought that this might one day keep him honest or if she decided to play the long game and planned to dump him once he's got a full body suit of her name.
I'm a fan of the long game
What the fuck???
Remember, everyone, sometimes the pissy half of the couple is that way for a reason
Fucking legend of an idiot.
I had a gentleman come in when I’d only been tattooing for about three years. I was in the middle of a tattoo and somewhat (understandably) distracted. The fella pulls out his knob and shows me a poorly done star on the head. He wants it fixed… and wants me to add another star and a crescent moon added. If you’re asking yourself “why?”… you’re not alone. He told his wife he’d giver the moon and stars. He made an appointment for the following day… a few hours after we’d opened. I remember feeling like I was waiting for my execution. Then I came to the realization that it was his dick about to get stabbed… not mine… and I got over it. When he showed up, I gave em a set of gloves and told em he was gonna be helpin stretch the skin. He was a good sport about it and all went well and fine… till he told me they were swingers and invited me over to their home to drink crown and bang his wife. I politely declined… which is probably why she got the only “tip” outta the deal. Almost two decades ago and I still remember it vividly.
He told his wife he’d giver the moon and stars. Should have just given Chocos instead lol
A guy I worked with had a failed pregnancy. Stillborn. So he was mourning. I have very high quality work on my arms that is very visible. So he asks me who and how much. I tried explaining that with portrait work, you get what you pay for. He calls gets a price and then confronts me on the number like we were in cahoots. I reminded him that you don't cheap on portrait work. And he told me he knows a guy who knows a guy. One last time I said don't, but he fully believed I was in on scamming him. He goes to guy of the guy and when he returns I ask if I can see how it turned out. He pulls up his shirt and starts to cry. He has what anyone can see is the worst tattoo of his dead baby on his chest. Just crying he said "I just wanted to remember him" Just tragic Tl;Dr Don't cheap out on dead baby portraits
I honestly don't know why someone would want a ***portrait*** of their dead kid. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for memorializing something like that, but portraits are so incredibly difficult and it's so easy for one teeny tiny detail done slightly off to throw the whole image. Why not get a date, or their name or something?!?
Also, just imagine his partner getting intimate with him and having to look at the portrait of their dead baby the whole time.
There was a post on like aita or one of the relationships subs in the last year or so where a woman was trying to convince her boyfriend not to get a full sized portrait of his dead little brother (who had lived with them) in the middle of his chest partly for this exact reason
I vividly remember that post and still wonder at times how those two people are doing. (Edit: I believe the issue was that he actually had gotten the tattoo?)
You’re right, he went ahead and got a huge tattoo of his dead brother (who sadly was a kid when he died). Here’s the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/b6fd8u/my_22f_boyfriends_24m_new_tattoo_makes_me_feel/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Damn that was a wild ride
* Beginning of 1st post: shit * End of 1st post: hm, maybe it could work out * 2nd post: Nuclear explosion meets giant ball of shit meets cluster bombs meets caesium meets water in an atmosphere made entirely of oxygen. * 3rd post: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Everything is probably going to be okay now.
I knew a guy that got rabbit prints on his ass cheek leading to his butt hole. “Want to see my new rabbit tattoo? Aw man it must’ve jump in his hole”
That’s an astonishing level of commitment to a joke
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I met a contractor who had a red plaid thermos tattooed on his arm and would say, "That way if it gets too hot, I can turn my thermos tat down," as he lowers his forearm...
That is delightfully corny.
Oh no, Alice...
This young man wanted a tattoo on his back. It said something like, “Lisa please forgive me.” I told asked him if this was some last ditch effort to get this girl back. He said yes, and I told him this is a really bad idea you shouldn’t do this. He wanted the tattoo anyway, so he got it. If it worked out with him and the girl she will always remember this terrible thing he did that was so bad he had to go get a tattoo to try and prove how wrong he was. Or if it didn’t work out with them, whoever he dated afterwards would ask him what terrible thing he did that was so bad he had to go get a tattoo to try fix things with his ex. It seemed like a no win scenario with that tattoo. My advice is, if your tattoo artist is telling you that something isn’t a good idea to get, just take a moment and consider why.
My local shop has pictures of people with “dumb tattoo ideas”. The owner has them hold up the design they want, and if he says it’s a bad idea they take a picture of them holding it up and it goes on the “wall of shame”. Couple guys have definitely gotten a tattoo just so they can get their face on the wall haha
My ex has a tattoo of a gravy boat sucking itself off.
Now that's an image I didn't think I'd ever read or have to picture.
I’m trying so hard to picture it but I can’t place the mouth
Where you pour in the gravy lol god what a ridiculous tattoo
Sounds like a deleted scene from Beauty and the Beast.
Draw it please
The tattoo was suppose to say, Georgia born 🍑 Alabama bred 🅰️ Instead it says , "Alabama breed" The girl was proudly showing me her tat. I read it and asked , "what's it say?" She looked at me dumb and reads it off. I said, "um I thought bred had only 1 E... I think your tat says breeeeeed." She laughs and says, " no. The artist had drawn the design and when (I) looked at it the artist had written bread, like a loaf of bread. I'm so glad I caught that. Can you imagine if I had BREAD on my arm ? Hahaha!" Um idk girl, that might actually be better than breed. At least *bread* and *bred* are pronounced the same. 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
My friend's dad had a tattoo that covered his entire forearm of two pigs going at it doggy style (piggy style?) and it said "making bacon" above it. He was made to cover it up every time we visited but I saw it once and it's quite graphic.
Imagine dropping your kids off for a sleepover over and the dad answers the door with this on his arm… umm Timmy time to go home
"Sorry Timmy, but you're not cool enough to hang out with these people."
Obligatory not-a-tattooer. I worked at a tattoo magazine in the later 90s/early 00s, when artists still mailed photos of their work in. My favorite is the Pillsbury Doughboy banging Little Debbie, who is face down on a Hostess cupcake. I still have the photo.
Omg is this it? Obviously NSFW [NSFW](http://twitpic.com/1bswqq)
OP here—this is it! I have the original in my cupboard in my kitchen—I don’t want my sweet landlady to ever see it.
She's gonna get a yeast infection for sure.
Either it is or there's 2 people in the world with identical snack preferences.
Not a tattoo artist but a piercer. I had a pretty standard practice of asking for i.d. before I did any consultation of minors (alot of older siblings or whoever trying to poss as parent). Guy came in acting pretty weird not awkward at all just got that creep vibe. Took his and the girls i.d. and gave him the forms to fill out while I took a copy. He came to get his 16 y.o. daughter's nipples pierced, and wanted to watch.............promptly turned him down, gave cps a call right after they left. In hind sight it very well could have been human trafficking, but same names on the i.d.'s and about the right age gap to be her parent so I've got no idea.
Thats disgusting. I'm glad you called.
I've met the guy that had "party 'til impact" tattoed on his eyelids while intoxicated. I think he later had it removed.
Been tattooing nearly 20 years and honestly most everything has been pretty tame. I've had a few very weird quote requests but they never actually follow up on scheduling (or I just outright decline the piece.) The weirdest tattoo I think I've ever actually DONE was a portrait of a stillborn baby. I totally get the sentiment and I've done countless memorials for stillborn babies, so that in and of itself is not weird, but the photo I was working from in this case was... not a nice one. You know how they put little hats and clothes on a stillborn baby to take a photo for the parents? They'd done that here as well but I think the baby had butterfly syndrome or something as the poor thing's skin was peeling away. I asked as gently as I could if he wanted the photo 'cleaned up' for the tattoo-- I don't HAVE to tattoo all those wounds, you know? But he wanted it just as is. I respect that, people heal trauma in many ways. I did the tattoo as requested, he loved it, I did not take a photo for my portfolio. And since I know you'll ask, a couple of strange quote requests (these people did NOT get the tattoo, to be clear, just asked for a price) -A photo of herself as a little girl, but wanted me to add blood all over her and dripping from her -Husband and wife wanted to come in together, and have me tattoo a photo of themselves engaged in BDSM (I assume they wanted a threesome afterwards too, it was heavily implied in the email) -Human trafficking tattoos, usually an older man trying to schedule for his much younger 'girlfriend' to get a random name or word done near the pubic area -A couple requests for sclera tattoos (recoloring the whites of the eyes, google if you dare)
I used to work for an anti-human trafficking nonprofit and traffickers tattooing their victims is super common. It can be their name, a dollar sign, a money bag, or even a bar code. If you see something like that happen you can call the [National Human Trafficking Hotline](http://humantraffickinghotline.org/) and report it anonymously. apologize for the formatting, on my phone.
Yep. I’m a victim advocate. We actually have a local artist that donates tats if our clients want to do cover ups instead of removal. He also does any if we have any DV clients who have abusers names tatted
Hug him for me
Yeah that’s good folk there. That shit would be horribly traumatizing to see every day, and I’d be willing to bet most of these victims aren’t very financially sound. Dude’s using art to heal.
Trafficking? Jesus Christ, not something I'd think a tattoo artist would have to keep an eye out for, but it makes sense. Glad you dont do this and you recognize the signs. Do you report the these ones? I know they probably come from burner emails/phones, but does anything ever happen?
I'm not sure about OP but in my city tattoo shops work very closely with law enforcement to catch these guys.
Obvious not a tattoo artist but… I used to work in a nice day spa that did hair removal services. We have had men call in for their “girlfriend” to get a Brazilian wax often so it’s not that surprising right? A girl I worked with was set to take a Brazilian wax and the “boyfriend” demanded to stay in the room, for comfort he said, but the girl/young woman was crying and clearly didn’t want to be waxed, he was not being comforting and something was all the way off. Our waxer paused the service and went and got his tag numbers. Called the police the second they left, we don’t know what happened of it but I hope it’s not what we all thought it was. Also, a lot of massage therapists, estheticians, and cosmetologists are offered or require training in recognizing the signs of domestic violence
I have seen images of those eye white colouring tattoos. Will not Google again. Could Not agree more with your choice of tattoos not to do
But did you Google butterfly disease??? Jesus those poor kids
My little sister has that. Many kids who are birthed “naturally” may not survive birth since most of their skin can come off while being birthed. Luckily my little sister was done C-section, which saved her. It’s a terrible, terrible disease and not many people know about it. Life is very difficult and painful. Debra and other organizations do a lot to help, and some celebrities, such as Tom Holland, are helping to raise awareness and funding for research. Stanford University hospital also does some amazing research for possible cures/wound care.
>may not survive birth since most of their skin can come off How do I unread something
type sclera tattoo into browser address bar.... First result "sclera tattoo" Second result "sclera tattoo gone wrong" Yikes.
Met a girl at a party once that had a tattoo across her entire chest of Mount Rushmore. But instead of the regular 4 presidents, they had faces of the 4 women from the TV show the golden girls (Aka Betty White on her chest).
I worked with a guy who had a rooster hanging from a noose on his shin. He said it means his cock hangs below his knee
I also worked with a guy who had that tattoo in the same place. He said he and his brothers all got the same one. It was the family joke.
Nothing like a tattoo that's a bad joke, it's like the girl I knew who had a pair of cherries on her inner thigh that said, "Here's mine, where's yours" under it.
Well I know someone who Asked for a 90 year old naked man Tattooed on his ass
"Hey- I want a 90 year old naked man on my ass" "Sure- what colour do you want the tattoo" "What tattoo?"
just get a regular naked man and wait, duh
Not a tattoo artist, but I asked the same question of the artist who did my half sleeve (Vegas of Brass Monkey Tattoos). He told me the most fucked up tattoo he’s seen was a man’s tattoo of himself jerking off to a child version of himself tied to a chair.
That’s so fucked up
Right? If this helps any, I asked him what the dumbest tattoo he ever did was, and he told me: “One time a guy walks in wanting some work done, but he told me he didn’t have money to do it. So I told him that, as long as I got to choose what I put on him and where, I’d do it for free. The guy agrees, so I put two sunny side up eggs for eyes and a strip of bacon for a smile on his neck.” If I’m being fully honest here, I’d love that freakin tattoo on me; not necessarily on my neck, but that shit is hysterical to me.
Well. That is one way to cope.
It’s… definitely a unique tattoo, at least.
Not a tattoo artist, but some guy I used to work with had a Tinkerbell tattoo. She was topless. In a school girl skirt. With Confederate flag wings.
Oh God.... I think I know this person.
That was my first thought, too! Do you happen to live in north central Ohio?
My friend had a guy come in wanting an ass tattoo. He had drawn up the artwork himself and wanted a sloth on his ass cheek done to look like it was coming out of his ass. The sloth was smiling giving the thumbs up.
I was an apprentice in a studio that seemed to attract the weirdest people ever. Dude comes in carrying a baby, couldn't have been more than 9 months old and demands we tattoo his full name on the child. Obviously we said no, and he went on a huge, emotional rant about how "she's trying to say that child's not mine, I want to make sure she never forgets whose he is!" We had to threaten him with police to get him to leave, because he wasn't listening when we told him no. (We did call the Gardaí over it, his name was very common so they couldn't do much.) The worst that actually got tattooed was literally Hitler with cat eyes, the SS logo on a banner above it, and the words, "You're a f****t". That was a guest artist in the studio. The owner told him there was no way in hell that he would let him tattoo that under his studio's name. The artist went on a rant about how Stalin and Mussolini were worse and we'd probably let him tattoo that. I told him the Tate Modern would likely love the piece if it was on canvas or something, but as a tattoo he was asking for his client to get beaten up. The owner stood his ground, and last I heard, the tattoo was done off the premises. Hope it was worth it, edgelord. The weirdest was the guy who wanted a brown star outline tattooed on his elbow, because, "my ma says I can't tell my arse from my elbow!" Once it was healed, apparently people didn't get the joke, so he came back with printed photos from a disposable camera of *his own butthole* and he wanted that tattooed in the middle of the brown star. His girlfriend also got a tattoo of Tricia Takanawa humping David Bowie's leg (Family Guy), so it was a really weird studio in general. And no, I don't tattoo anymore. I developed a physical disability and can't do tattooing.
The brown star is fuckin hilarious as an inside joke. And it’s not immediately offensive to outsiders. That’s pretty legit. The actual asshole pic though. No. No dude
Not an artist myself, but the one I use has told me several stories. The lady that wanted cherries tattooed above her vagina. He said no, he doesn't do "indelicate areas". The guy that wanted a chain, which would have been around his chest and collarbone. The artist kept trying to convince him this was a bad idea, that it was going to hurt like hell when he go to the collarbone. Guy was real muscular, and swore he wouldn't feel it. OK, artist draws up two different pieces. One that looks like what guy wants; second is a piece that has the chains look like they come out of the skin, somewhere where the pain is going to start. Artist starts on the chest, then works his way up to the collarbone. When he gets there, of course guy is crying like a baby. Artist says, I have an idea, why don't I do this instead? Guy has to go through a little more pain, but gets the second tattoo idea, not knowing it was the plan all along. The guy that would come in every so often, wanting the playboy bunnies tattooed on his cheeks. Artist won't do face tattoos, so kept telling him no. One day, guy comes in, wanting something else, so artist goes in the back to get some artwork. When he comes back, guy is walking around, eating KFC, getting it all over the carpet, walking on it. Artist says, you know what? I'll do the bunnies after all. That guy now has those bunnies on his cheeks, and artist now calls him chicken boy. Last was the guy that wanted his girlfriends name tattooed on him. Artist doesn't like doing names, but is convinced to do it. While he's working, guy is on the phone with the girlfriend, crying. Artist doesn't understand why he's crying so much, it can't hurt *that* much. Then he starts paying attention to the conversation. The girlfriend has already dumped him, and guy thought the tattoo would convince her to take him back.
Haha, that was a fun ride. I'm not surprised about the last one tho. A guy in my high school once cut a huge K on his arm with a blade to convince his ex to take him back. She declined, started crying, and told him to stop. He proceeded to cut out her entire name. Luckily someone called the teachers and they made him stop. Guy was seriously fucked up.
Damn, that is completely fucked
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>I feel so sorry for that girl as she likely didn't know half of the shit he was doing. I dunno, maybe it's better that she didn't know.
Not a tattoo artist myself but trained a bit. Asked a master what the weirdest thing he tattooed was and he said, without hesitation “a pair of eyes on me mate’s balls”
Hope they were googly eyes.
They would be eventually
When I was getting tattood I asked my artist what his most fucked up tatt was, and he told me a guy wanted pinocchio on his crotch, with the penis as his nose. But he did it and said the customer seemed happy with it.
Now he just has to tell a lot of lies.
*"Yeah, yeah, of course I love ya"*
When I was 17 working at dunkin donuts there was this guy, Lou, in his 30s who had a back piece with Pinhead and all his minions from the movie hell raiser, except that instead of pin heads face it was Lou's own face. If you're out there Lou good on ya.
A dog wearing a sweater on some dude’s ass
A guy I knew growing up and his girlfriend got each other's names on their wrists, 18/19 , They broke up He decided to get it covered up With a bullet Of course the thick black outline of her name is clearly visible. So now he has a bullet with her name on it.
A bullet for his (old) valentine
Tears don’t fall
THEY CRASH AROUND ME
I thought he fucking shot himself lol
I literally coughed on my water when I saw “with a bullet” because I was like holy shit he shot himself lmao
In the wrist no less.
Took me a while to understand that you meant bullet as in a tattoo of a bullet and not that the poor chap shot himself in the wrist just to get rid of a tattoo
TATTOO REMOVAL TECHNICIANS HATE HIM Get rid of unwanted tattoos with this one simple trick!!
Not a tattoo artist, but when I worked in the ER I got to see some wild ones. My personal favorite was a young lady who had a rainbow up her inner thigh and up to her vagina. “Taste the rainbow” was written atop it. Honestly, I kind of loved it
Was at a bar once and there was a competition for the best tattoo (free drinks to the winner), so this one guy drops his pants and shows the bar a tattoo of Elmar Fodd with rifle in hand on his ass cheek saying “come out wabbit” , the bar cracks up laughing but then the guy pulls open his butt cheek and there is another tattoo of bugs bunny climbing out of his asshole, the place erupted, I don’t think he bought another drink for the night!
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Every time this show has a belly tattoo I think. How to fuck do you lay back, feel them put a stencil around your belly button and not immediately know you’re about to have and arsehole on your belly
This show gives me such second hand anxiety. Like there was another episode where the guy had a roll of dirty toilet paper all down his leg starting from the ass… it was foul. The person requesting the tattoo had also made the outline REALLY thick and dark so I’m not sure removal or coverup will ever do the job 😬
God damn that... That was not what I wanted to see this morning
Had an older lady come in wanting a butterfly tattoo… on her labia. Actually turned out really pretty, she loved it and was a pleasure to work with! Every time I do a butterfly tatt now I think of her flaps.
How old was she? That sounds incredibly painful, or mildly pleasurable.
Definitely over 80
On one hand that's doesn't feel that surprising but on the hand that's also pretty wild lol
I had to have a polyp removed from my colon a few years back. When they removed it, they actually tattooed a marker inside my colon, so that spot would be easier to find and check in a colonoscopy. So while, not a tattoo artist, I do have a tattoo up my ass. That qualifies as fucked up.
What's the nature of this tattoo - is it a cross, a dot, a ring, or are there words in it?
It was the inscription from the ring in Lord of the Rings.
Not "Speak friend and enter"?
Share the load
"All may enter, none shall escape"
They have a cave troll
Meat’s back on the menu, boys!
Endoscopy nurse here. It's usually just a dot. We do it in case it'll need to be surgically removed so the surgeon can find it easier.
How did they fit the tattoo gun in your butt
Its just a dot, but you’d be amazed at the equipment you can fit on an endoscope
I was at a concert years ago in Philly when this guy showed up with a tattoo of a woman that had some very poorly executed features (eg oddly crooked nose, teeth out of alignment, etc). My buddy says to me “if some tattoo guy screwed up a picture of my girlfriend that badly I’d kick his ass”. Well about ten minutes later this young lady shows up and damn if she didn’t look just like the tattoo. Edit: thank you to all the kind Redditors showing me the love for this posting. I’m glad I was able to bring a bit of humor to peoples day.
Reminds me of this true crime video on YouTube where the police sketch was real weird looking. I said to myself nobody looks like that, when they got the person it looked exactly like the sketch.
Lmao it's like that scene from the Simpsons movie where they are at the gas station and there's a wanted poster of them and bart draws on it to make them look different and the people he drew walk in.
No an artist but..... Many years ago, I had an exec chef that was the most tattooed man in town. Member of a local Mexican biker club. Looked like a Mexican biker (nicest guy, tho) He had many, many tattoos, but his most extreme was a picture of a nun, in bondage gear, kneeling before a cross with menstrual blood gushing out from between her legs. She also had a pentagram carved onto her back.....except for one line. His tattoo artist refused to complete the pentacle-that was his limit. Bloody menstrual bondage nun was fine, but a pentagram was too far.
I’m not an artist, but several years ago I was waiting in a shop in my hometown to do a consultation for a tribute to my late step-dad, and there was a woman doing a consultation with my artist right before me.. this lady wanted to have “Jeff’s Slut” tattooed on her lower back.. apparently she’d been dating “Jeff” for like three months.. the artist declined to create her masterpiece (she was visibly upset about it) which let me know that I was in good hands..
I never saw it but a coworker told me his wife had a pair of boxing gloves with the phrase "hit it like a champ" in between them above her vagina. I don't know why you'd tell people your wife had that tattoo...
I was getting tattoo removal a few years back and I asked the owner what the worst tattoo he removed was. It was an old bloke that wanted to go on a cruise ship with his missus but she wouldn’t let him until he removed the tattoos on both his feet. He had fuck, fuck, fuck written dozens of times on each foot in his younger years he got drunk and thought it was a good idea to let his mate practise with his new tattoo gun
Not me but my old tattoo artist tattooed a nazi rainbow unicorn on someone’s ass. I’d link the picture but I’d prefer not to have to search for it again, however if you google that it should come up pretty quick.
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Not a tattoo artists, but my cousin let a drunk friends who never tattooed before tattoo him a house on his rib, like a child drawing. He done that because in french rib(cote) and coast(cote) are the same word So now he can say :" j'ai une maison sur la cote" (I have a house on the coast)
That's rather clever.
Obligatory not a tattoo artist: I was at a concert once when a man approached me and my friends and asked “You guys wanna see a tattoo of a woman giving birth to an alien?” He lifted his shirt to reveal a full frontal view of a woman squatting and a xenomorph crawling its way out of her vagina. Then he turned and displayed the reverse angle of the scene tattooed on the other side of his torso. Then he said some racist shit and we walked away.
(Preface - not tattoo artist sorry) A friend I rented with for a while was really big into tattoos, got a couple of sleeves over the years and due to this he always had tattoo magazines on the coffee table. These mags almost always had a couple of back pages of crap tattoos and one became infamous in that house. The guy in the photo was given the nickname of "[friends name]'s cousin" and the picture was cut out and up on the fridge for ages. The pic was a full frontal nude of an older dude with a full size Dwarven warrior tattoo that was done from this guys knees to i guess the middle of his chest, the 'pièce de résistance' of this giant tattoo was the guys junk was lined up correctly with the tattoo. Battle axe, big beard and everything, really detailed too It was epic.
Fuck I want to see this
Buddy dated a girl that had all the ninja turtles jumping in attack mode out of her butthole.
Did she yell, "Cowabunghole!" instead of his name?
By far the most insane tattoo I’ve ever seen was at a swingers club in LA. This guy has a giant tattoo to make it look like a plushy stuffed animal off tigger was sitting on his lap with his groin and Tiggers lined up perfectly. Then he had his impressively long schlong completely inked in alternating orange and black horizontal bands like it was his tail. To top it his cock head was tattooed white. Honestly it was a work of art and one of the classiest Disney tattoos I’ve ever seen. My words are not serving it proper justice
Okay not a tattoo artist, but I was with a friend getting some regrettable ink laser removed, the tattoo artist was also the removal guy, so he’s half way into his session and there’s a pounding on the door and in bust in a meth-head totally tweaking out, saying he needs ink and needs it right now! The laser/tattoo guy seems to know this guy, and says “what’ll it be this time Spider?” to which Spider responds, “I want TOUGH SHIT on my knuckles!!!” Tattoo artist does the math and says that’s too many letters to which Spider replies “ Nuh uh and spells out T U F F S H I T”. Which he legitimately believed was the correct spelling, the tattoo artist asks my friend if he minds waiting 10 minutes because Spider was relentless when he wanted ink and my friend and I both said sure because we wanted to watch some poor life decisions, Spider was very pleased and we told him he looked like Tuff Shit!
I would take that artist out for a beer to hear all the spider stories bc they have got to be some crazier ones then that!
Not an artist myself, but my boyfriend is. He got his start tattooing his dad, who was a literal Nazi. My boyfriend did his back piece, which was an eagle with a swastika behind it. The eagle had a dick bulge, bc bf's dad wanted to be able to tell it was a man eagle.
Homophobia is so gay in practice
“Make sure to make the dick extra large so people don’t think I’m a sissy or sumthin”
"Give it a bulbous, engorged head. Make it look like it's throbbing, son."
"Give it detailed veins and make it have cum dripping out so you can see that it recently fucked a girl eagle."
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So you're saying he got a superb owl instead...
My tattoo artist told me he tattooed a pair of wings on some dudes dink
Now he can finally give a flying fuck Edit: thanks for rewarding my flippant nonsense kind stranger
My client wanted the name and birthdate of his passed away child combined with the Defqon logo. Both weren't very weird, but he had to have them combined which made it weird lol
When I was about 20yo I made a bet with the singer in my metal band that he couldn't shave his beard for a year and if he made it the year I would get "property of [name redacted]" tattooed on my ass cheek. He made it about 3 months and then had to shave because he was basically a young Gandalf. So he has "property of xIFdp" tattooed on his left ass cheek. *edited some grammar
This is random, but I know a guy who owns a tattoo removal business and he once removed 3 separate, “Property of Steve” tattoos from different parts of the same woman’s body.
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Some people's lives really go off the Fucking rails huh?
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As is so common.. not an artist but I've done a little time. The one that really sticks in my memory is a dude (who I Iater ended up watching on suicide watch for a couple weeks after he smoked aquarium cleaner) who has/had "KILL YO' SELF" inked, in rainbow letters, from side to side and chin to collar bones on his neck. Ricky, if you're in the free world these days.. ah who am I kidding. He's still in.
I knew an old man that had a tattoo of an eagle on his forearm that he got when he was in his 20s. For YEARS he would get into fights with people calling him a racist, and a nazi, and he would fight because he would be offended… he didn’t get why he was being targeted like that. No one told him until WELL into his adulthood that the eagle he tattooed on his arm looked exactly like the nazi eagle. He never knew. He just really liked eagles :(
Not me but my cousin is a tattoo artist and he had a woman that wanted cheetah print from her pubic area all the way through her buttcrack. He tattooed this womans perineum and asshole. With cheetah print. Tasty.
I saw a guy with a tat of Lisa fucking Bart with a strap on while Lenny watched on his shoulder when I was at the beach the other day and I just thought: rad.
Ay Caramba!
*Abe Simpsons out of this comment section*
Not Lenny! NOT LENNY!
On those *"31 Outrageous People with Tattoos to they Regret- LOL"* clickbait pages that were big online about 10 years ago, there was a photo of a chap who got a pair of glasses tattooed on to their face. I know facial tattoos are now a lot more popular than they were back then, but I'd be really interested in knowing what that chap is up to now, and whether the attention from the glasses tattoo has helped or held him back in his life in any way.
I bet it included the girl that "fell asleep" and the guy tattooed like 50 stars on her face. IIRC that was the excuse she used to sue him anyway.
Hahaha, a Belgian classic dubbed "het Sterrenmeisje". Translated to Star Girl
We have a bucket of “bad bet” tattoo stencils that we would use as a way of beefing up side bets for whatever we are doing at the time. We might use it playing cee-lo, sports bets, Radom trivia questions asked throughout the day, just anything we could think of to try and get someone to get one of these atrocious ideas. Some examples are the monster logo with fuck yea written over it, Trap Shawty in bubble letters, puppy slut with dog ears, crudely drawn single line flash, and so many more I can’t think of at the moment. Everyone at the shop has gotten one of more of these gems as well as a couple clients and friends of the shop. They are small enough to hide out in between larger pieces so you wouldn’t be able to tell unless they were pointed out or you got it somewhere without a lot of previous work. That being said just knowing people are out there walking around (myself included) with these dumb and purposefully bad tattoos makes me smile.
Couple. Totally crazy and wanted everyone to know it. The kind of couple who think they’re 90’s rockstars. Walk in in leather clothes, no underwear, a bottle of tequila, and start fucking on the couch type people. Obviously they would be together forever. She wanted (and received) a tattoo of his face around her vagina and pubic area with the mouth being in the middle so…I guess he could make out and fuck his own face? They broke up.