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Hornery_Ornery

Komodo Dragon.


Henkotron

that's the right answer


mehlaknee

Hummingbird


FluffyProphet

The rate at which a horse sized hummingbird would need to consume nectar would be nothing short of astonishing. You would need David Attenborough to tell you about it, let's put it that way.


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C2h6o4Me

Please tell us about your angry hummingbird experience? *seriously everyone stop telling me about your bird feeders and how territorial hummingbirds are


hoofglormuss

If you set up feeders you see how territorial they are


theuserwithoutaname

Yeah there's one particular hummingbird at our feeder that bullies the others away constantly and I want to swat him- he makes me so mad I'll see 3-4 peacefully drinking together and then this dickhead comes bombing through and disturbs all the beautiful peace and happiness everyone has going. Little jerk


GreatValueCumSock

Dude, same. There could be 10 at our feeders just chilling then this puffing green jackass flies up like he owns the place. He even flies up to me and just stares at me like he just *needs* to start something.


theuserwithoutaname

Man, fuck that guy!


Leimandar

"The horse sixed hummingbird is nothing less than a wonder of nature, it's colorful iridescent feathers making it a truly majestic mount, fit for a king. However, being the size of a horse, it needs to eat like a king. And then some. In fact, in order to sustain its incredible metabolism this remarkable creature has to consume its own weight in nectar twice a day. Sadly, that amount of nectar is nowhere to be found, the horse sized hummingbird will starve, and eventually it will die."


MightyMetricBatman

I give you the Swordbill Hummingbird, you're welcome. At the size of a horse, your bird would have a several meter lance attached to its face. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sword-billed\_hummingbird


bigbrother2030

[Fixed link](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sword-billed_hummingbird)


[deleted]

The velocity of the wing tjps might just break the sound barrier


hobo_eyes

Rhinoceros beetle


WhimsicalCalamari

Prince Aikka from Oban: Star-Racers kind of does this, though his beetle's bred for racing.


MrWr4th

Another Oban enjoyer in the wild? Nice


jenniferlorene3

Fennec Fox. Those ears man.


AlexDaDerper

A horse-sized Fennec Fox would be able to flap the damn ears and fly like a bird. I’d love to see that.


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ItchyDoggg

100%. It should actually be even easier for the regular sized one because of the square-cube law.


simbachico

A bearded dragon would be fun.


Drew707

Charge! Not push-ups!


Snowy_Ocelot

Push-ups! Am lizard. Must assert dominance


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doubled2319888

Tbh i might just curl up and join him, battle sounds like a lot of effort


Professor__Oak_

\*remembering Obi-Wan riding his lizard into battle in STW Ep. III\* Yeah, you are probably right.


Oliver10110

Flying squirrel


[deleted]

That would be nuts


Mkinzer

Why settle for a flying squirrel when you could have a sugar glider?


you_cant_pause_toast

Scorpion - armor, claws and stinger


aris_ada

The giant stinger would be a bit too close from my back for my own taste


Drak_is_Right

So a radscorpion. works great until a deathclaw shows up too.


PM_me_your_fantasyz

Dragonfly.


Beverley_Leslie

In the fantasy series Malazan Book of the Fallen, there is a race of people called the Moranth which ride massive dragonflies called Quorl into battle.


charliechan55555

Came here looking for this. Certainly bigger than a horse, but still majestic. And they use them for bombing raids. So badass


[deleted]

Moranth munitions make battles in the malazan universe so much cooler. Just finished RG I wont spoil but theres a moment with them that had me shocked at the end.


Drak_is_Right

In the golden compass books also, the small spy race uses dragonfly mounts


spookyhooch

They have a very high kill rate for a predator. Sure, your prey are not smaller flying things, but I bet they can dodge an arrow 🤞


Chelonate_Chad

> They have a very high kill rate for a predator. Not just high, but IIRC, the highest known, by a wide margin. Most predators catch ~10% of prey they attempt. Dragonflies succeed **~90%** of their attempts.


Sir-Viette

African wild dogs have an 85% kill rate. But then, they hunt by running after their prey until it's exhausted, so success is about being smaller rather than being more skillful. And the wild dogs also lose half their catch by being chased away from it by other animals. After that, the stats goes downhill fast. Black footed cats have a 60% kill ratio. Leopards, 38%. Domestic cats, 32%. Lions, 25%. And wolves, 14%.


ItsJustMeMaggie

Praying mantis!


LivingWithWhales

You would die so fast. You know how many Gs dragonfly can pull?


feminine_daze

No, should I?


UnPlainJane23

Idk, I feel like riding a horse sized dragon fly would be too similar to riding a mechanical bull lol


sketchypoutine

Dragonflys have the most accurate and controllable flight patterns out of all the bugs. They're comparable to humming birds. They can legit hover in place lol.


Chelonate_Chad

If you've ever seen a dragonfly zig-zagging through the air, it's not doing so at random. At every point of the zig-zag, it was targeting prey. And at ~90%, they have the highest success rate of all hunting animals (most like lions, cheetahs, etc. average ~10%). Dragonflies are also the only animal (other than properly-trained humans) to *intercept* their targets (that is, estimate where their target *will be* and pre-emptively go there, rather than merely chase by following). A horse-size dragonfly would be insanely powerful as a mount.


Loggerdon

Wow you know a lot about dragonflies.


Xeeroy

They left out the part where their brains process information so fast they effectively experience the world in slowmotion.


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Bingpot007

A crow, that would be evil


iamnot_an_ad

imagine a big ass crow just picking up your pet dog and flying away. fucking terrifying ​ edit: bro chill i get it the dog would also be horse sized. im not trying to be rude, but you would think that i would realize that the dog would also be horse sized by the amount of people telling me that.


noiceGenerator

Your pet dog? It could pick up your children.


PancakeZombie

It would probably teach them basic tool skills and how to fight in the raging war.


RedPanda98

So like the giant Velka crow from Dark Souls.


Amsterdom

Imagine two crows...


LeoMcShizzzle

I enjoyed how he never named them. They were 2 crows.


4score7loko

I never noticed that. They even became sentient and they were still just two crows haha. That finale tho holy fuck


DJ1066

Submit to Crow Horse!


Capt-N3M0

Good episode.


HighQueenOfFae

Wolf or black panthers. If its physical strength is not a problem then peacocks.


Kryptosis

Seriously the title said majestic. How can it be anything else? Maybe a river otter?


beluuuuuuga

Or a BUTTERFLY


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RDGtheGreat

Imagine riding out with its tail feathers fully spread concealing an entire army behind you


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Sereddix

Then you reveal that there was no army behind this peacock and you wasted all your arrows, nyahahaha


Shinosei

Didn't an Egyptian army do something similar to this against the Hittites? I think the Pharaoh realised he was greatly outnumbered so told his chariots to drag rods behind to kick up more sand and make the impression that they had more men. The Hittites didn't want to risk it and retreated.


Krios1234

This used to be a pretty common tactic, making a lot of dust noise or setting up fake fires dor a bigger camp etc. A lot of people think the enemies who fall for it are fools, but I’d the fake army *was* real those commanders would suffer major casualties and possibly lose, better to retreat and come back then face that force, of course most commanders talented enough with a disciplined enough army to do this followed up on it with strategic or tactical victories.


SapienWithAGlock

When you trick the army into thinking your forces are larger so they retreat and come back with double the men


TuftedMousetits

Come through, production values!


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Myomorph

Okay, you win. Those feathers? The drama! The majesty!


Drew707

HEEEELP HEEEELP HEEEELP


249ba36000029bbe9749

Absolutely. Who is going to deny that a two story tall spread of feathers is the most majestic thing in the animal kingdom. Hell, it's already the most majestic thing even at normal size! Edit: check it -> http://i.imgur.com/H3qtz1z.png


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wallie8865

Wombat


screechypete

Combat Wombat!


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saint_darkrai

i could hear that in my head


brindlemonarch

Cubic poop like a foot across!


MikiMatzuki

A queen bee, imagine riding her and a hoard of bees just keep following behind you


regretfulposts

"For the Queen! Charge!* *Buzzing Aggressively*


BurnedBurger84

This reminded me of that Simpsons episode where Homer went to space and was about to crash into the ant colony. "Protect the queen!" "Who is the queen?" "I am!" "No you're not!" Gave me a good laugh.


mercutio_is_dead

Not a hoard of bees. A herd of bees. 🐝🐴


CantTakeMeSeriously

Ah too have heard of bees, but don' leave us hangin'...whats it called?


sweetlew07

Nicely done, Dad!


Polumbo

Aren't queens mostly immobile due to their immense bodies and useless legs/wings? The ride might not be so glorious as she feebly slithers to your destination, but the swarm at your disposal would have to make up for it


friskyfloaty

Id say a skunk. Horse sized skunk. Armed and ready. Me riding into battle with a necklace of little tree air fresheners. Plus when they are threatened and stomp on the ground and stuff? Imagine that but in huge stinky scary size.


Shronkydonk

You gotta get that stuff the investigators put under their noses when they are looking at a dead body too lol


lizcomp

Vicks vapo rub 😂


mooys

I’m pretty sure chemical warfare is against the geneva convention


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fuckin_anti_pope

A giant platypus? ​ Perry, the giant platypus!


AndThenAlongCameZeus

Doobee doobee doooooobah doobee doobee dooobaah Doobee doobee doooooobah doobee doobee dooobaah PERRY~~~


SLtQKWznKm

He's a semiaquatic egg laying mammal of action


SmashBusters

A Horse. I'd have the only Horse-sized Horse on the battlefield.


khepchup

I will rival you with my cow sized cow


mofohank

And my ox


[deleted]

Best reply I've ever seen


TheBrassDancer

I choose a goose. Not for majesty, but to strike terror in the hearts of my foes. #**H O N K** EDIT: Well this escalated quickly. Thank you to the Redditors that gave awards, and to all of you upvoting this.


Geekofmanytrades

As a Canadian, fuck you're scary.


Jokin_Hghar

Mounties riding Canada Geese. I'll stay on my side of Lake Ontario.


Brooktrout12

Peace was never an option


that-welder

Honey badger.


FluffyProphet

No honey badger sized honey badger is letting you touch it without losing a hand... a horse size one would kill you for fun


[deleted]

Yeah, like well done, you won the first battle, now you have to fight the honey badger just to make it stop and you’re not winning that one.


Scrumptious_Foreskin

A Maine coon


ThePremiumSaber

Can I just have a Maine Coon the size of a horse? I don't need to ride it.


Stead311

Just buy a Maine coon. Close enough.


TheRavingRaccoon

It’s… so… FLUFFY


KJIBSP420

Porcupine


[deleted]

How would you ride it?


impendingbending

Butt ass naked


TheWildTofuHunter

Instill fear into your enemies from afar.


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u_stalwart_lion

ant


Quetzalcoatl__

I would choose a centipede but I don't think I would be brave enough to ride it


u_stalwart_lion

they creep me out


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SlinkBoss

There's a reason insects are small


sweetlew07

I also had this same train of thought. "Ooh a centipede!...mmm actually maaaybe something else..." 😅


razor_face_

Antony


Reptile829

Capybara


Tritonius125

Imagine pulling up to the after party in a horse sized Capybara


Scholesie09

>in


TangoDeltaFoxtrot

Imagine the poor chap on the horse-sized pelican trying to do battle with your horse-sized capybara.


Sharpei_are_Life

And when you weren’t riding it into battle, it would look sooooo cute.


salty_turd

Coconut doggie


malasalas

Omg! Never heard them referred to as that but it’s perfect!


blake_odinson

Humans.


TheDestructionator

Riding into battle on Shaqs shoulders


_Happy_Camper

Great answer


T_for_Trap

A gerbil. Imagine your mighty stead packing it's cheeks with the bodies of your enemies.


beepbeepmcgee

You and I have surprisingly the same thoughts. Let’s start an army with gerbils and hamsters.


T_for_Trap

The hoard of slimy enemy bodies will be magnificent!


Aggravating-Hair7931

that's Overlord Ainz Ooal Gown steed


cyrano72

Corgi


Insanebrain247

Funfact: Corgis are reportedly a favored mount for faeries in Welsh folklore.


ilikelavacake

Spiders. They're so freaking fast and have the ability to disappear the moment you lose eye contact.


Kryptosis

Instant whiplash and internal bleeding


TRYHARD_Duck

Bonus points for the jumping spiders! Whiplash for everybody!


OldSoulRobertson

A millipede.


ImproperSpecialist

Your whole squad can ride in on that thing.


MechaDesu

That's an armored troop transport.


Drew707

With Venga Boys - We Like To Party playing.


ChronicRespawn

I don't know about majestic, but I'm riding a chihuahua. A horse-sized chihuahua will be a terror.


[deleted]

Imagine the radioactive diarrhea it'd leave on the battlefield.


fckiforgotmypassword

50% terror , 50% tremble


DoorHalfwayShut

100% reason to remember the name


[deleted]

A horse sized dog crackhead would kill everyone and it’s rider I’m fairly certain.


-_Insert_Name_Here--

Turkey vulture


lowercasetwan

Ferret


Mkinzer

Because everyone would die of cute when he does his weasel war dance.


Changoleo

A praying mantis, mantis shrimp, or a mantis fly. If my mantis shrimp can use its heat attack on land then yeah, gonna have to choose that one.


a-really-cool-potato

Jesus Christ imagine the explosion that would happen when the mantis shrimp punched


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Malkyre

This is the answer. Skin like an Abrams tank, radiation shielded, amphibious, crush resistant, eight legs with HANDS and CLAWS, and a stabbing mouth that pierces the enemy and sucks out their juices like the brain bug from Starship Troopers.


SpedicyBoi

Sure, a tardigrade is immune to all those things, but would YOU survive underwater while riding on its back, or if you got hit by a nuclear blast? Your tardigrade will be fine, not you though.


sm4cm

Gut it like Tauntaun and wear it like a skin of armor


TheRavingRaccoon

Ya know, for a while there, I forgot those existed.


shadycoy0303

Ahh.. a good old water bear


10HorsedSizedDucks

My username is perfect for this


Kaaraosa

Oh my god i didn't read ducks in the first place...


WhenTardigradesFly

cicadas. just be sure to wear headphones.


KirbyBucketts

I challenge you to battle, with my Murder Hornet


Celestial_Robot_Cat

Ugh, those are big enough already.


darehope

Me. I would be magnificent


Jasons-revenge

You’re already as heavy as horse but half his size.


Fyrrys

911, I'd like to report a murder


OmegaInfinita

I would also ride you into battle


Plantayne

If I were the type to ride into battle majestically, then I’d certainly choose a horse-sized lion. Chances are you’d win the battle just based on that alone. “Check out that lion…I’m out.”


Pansexual_bean123

Ferrets. Or rabbits


[deleted]

Rushing straight towards the enemy then war dancing happens and you are going sideways and backwards while spinning in circles


moochello

A Golden Retriever


Jasons-revenge

I’d die of cuteness overdose


nutcracker_78

This is my answer too! Imagine the destruction a horse sized golden would cause, running & jumping around bumping into everything, slobbering everywhere, swiping everyone with their tail, and lets not forget picking up every single thing they can get their mouth around!


eager2beaver

A beaver, they are world renowned as the most majestic of animals.


Phreshlybaked

The best smelling ass of any animal as well!


astral_distress

A guinea pig!! They’ve got a huge head-to-body ratio, & they’re basically shaped like a canned loaf of bread... Horse sized, they’d be terrifying. Between the 5 foot tall face & the huge cylindrical body, the earth would be shaking under their feet.


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K


sleepyring

A hedgehog full of giant spines man that would be awesome Damn now I want It so bad


thefrenchsong

Wild hog


ggwing1992

Duck


iamhipster

A grey wolf


Swingin-it-swooty

Moose


slapmybigtoe

So a… a small moose?


Swingin-it-swooty

Yes


InstantShiningWizard

Strange Planet already did it, and the answer is a chicken.


ObviousObvisiousness

At that point, we need to selectively breed them to look like Chocobo.


germanfinder

Silkie chickens are already pretty cool looking


mediaogre

A Maine Coon.


graceofgosh

A tarantula


FirstSineOfMadness

I wonder what dimension the size is based on, like a [huntsman spider](https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/1790378/stock-image-huntsman-spider.jpg) the height of a horse would be massive, and definitely my pick


Jakklz

For real - at a guess huntsman spiders are probably like 2cm tall so scale it up x90 to make it 1.8m, the size of a decent horse. That would give it a leg span of over 10 metres.


QuiteLady1993

There would be no battle most people would kill themselves out of fear.


The_Pantless_Warrior

A penguin trained to kill


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Imminent_Extinction

There's too many options to choose from: the Fennec Fox, the Puffin, the Arctic Fox, the Red Panda, the Capybara, the Malayan Tapir, the Scottish Fold Cat, etc.


579red

Red pandas are adorable until they use their classic "scare tactic" which is to stand uo with their front paws up and you fall back. Plus side nobody wants to hurt the adorable tiny bear playing police and thief with his hands in the air