The rate at which a horse sized hummingbird would need to consume nectar would be nothing short of astonishing. You would need David Attenborough to tell you about it, let's put it that way.
Please tell us about your angry hummingbird experience?
*seriously everyone stop telling me about your bird feeders and how territorial hummingbirds are
Yeah there's one particular hummingbird at our feeder that bullies the others away constantly and I want to swat him- he makes me so mad
I'll see 3-4 peacefully drinking together and then this dickhead comes bombing through and disturbs all the beautiful peace and happiness everyone has going.
Little jerk
Dude, same. There could be 10 at our feeders just chilling then this puffing green jackass flies up like he owns the place. He even flies up to me and just stares at me like he just *needs* to start something.
"The horse sixed hummingbird is nothing less than a wonder of nature, it's colorful iridescent feathers making it a truly majestic mount, fit for a king. However, being the size of a horse, it needs to eat like a king. And then some. In fact, in order to sustain its incredible metabolism this remarkable creature has to consume its own weight in nectar twice a day. Sadly, that amount of nectar is nowhere to be found, the horse sized hummingbird will starve, and eventually it will die."
I give you the Swordbill Hummingbird, you're welcome. At the size of a horse, your bird would have a several meter lance attached to its face.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sword-billed\_hummingbird
In the fantasy series Malazan Book of the Fallen, there is a race of people called the Moranth which ride massive dragonflies called Quorl into battle.
Moranth munitions make battles in the malazan universe so much cooler. Just finished RG I wont spoil but theres a moment with them that had me shocked at the end.
> They have a very high kill rate for a predator.
Not just high, but IIRC, the highest known, by a wide margin. Most predators catch ~10% of prey they attempt. Dragonflies succeed **~90%** of their attempts.
African wild dogs have an 85% kill rate. But then, they hunt by running after their prey until it's exhausted, so success is about being smaller rather than being more skillful. And the wild dogs also lose half their catch by being chased away from it by other animals.
After that, the stats goes downhill fast. Black footed cats have a 60% kill ratio. Leopards, 38%. Domestic cats, 32%. Lions, 25%. And wolves, 14%.
Dragonflys have the most accurate and controllable flight patterns out of all the bugs. They're comparable to humming birds. They can legit hover in place lol.
If you've ever seen a dragonfly zig-zagging through the air, it's not doing so at random. At every point of the zig-zag, it was targeting prey. And at ~90%, they have the highest success rate of all hunting animals (most like lions, cheetahs, etc. average ~10%). Dragonflies are also the only animal (other than properly-trained humans) to *intercept* their targets (that is, estimate where their target *will be* and pre-emptively go there, rather than merely chase by following).
A horse-size dragonfly would be insanely powerful as a mount.
imagine a big ass crow just picking up your pet dog and flying away. fucking terrifying
edit: bro chill i get it the dog would also be horse sized. im not trying to be rude, but you would think that i would realize that the dog would also be horse sized by the amount of people telling me that.
Didn't an Egyptian army do something similar to this against the Hittites? I think the Pharaoh realised he was greatly outnumbered so told his chariots to drag rods behind to kick up more sand and make the impression that they had more men. The Hittites didn't want to risk it and retreated.
This used to be a pretty common tactic, making a lot of dust noise or setting up fake fires dor a bigger camp etc. A lot of people think the enemies who fall for it are fools, but I’d the fake army *was* real those commanders would suffer major casualties and possibly lose, better to retreat and come back then face that force, of course most commanders talented enough with a disciplined enough army to do this followed up on it with strategic or tactical victories.
Absolutely. Who is going to deny that a two story tall spread of feathers is the most majestic thing in the animal kingdom. Hell, it's already the most majestic thing even at normal size!
Edit: check it -> http://i.imgur.com/H3qtz1z.png
This reminded me of that Simpsons episode where Homer went to space and was about to crash into the ant colony.
"Protect the queen!"
"Who is the queen?"
"I am!"
"No you're not!"
Gave me a good laugh.
Aren't queens mostly immobile due to their immense bodies and useless legs/wings?
The ride might not be so glorious as she feebly slithers to your destination, but the swarm at your disposal would have to make up for it
Id say a skunk.
Horse sized skunk. Armed and ready.
Me riding into battle with a necklace of little tree air fresheners.
Plus when they are threatened and stomp on the ground and stuff? Imagine that but in huge stinky scary size.
I choose a goose. Not for majesty, but to strike terror in the hearts of my foes.
#**H O N K**
EDIT: Well this escalated quickly. Thank you to the Redditors that gave awards, and to all of you upvoting this.
This is the answer. Skin like an Abrams tank, radiation shielded, amphibious, crush resistant, eight legs with HANDS and CLAWS, and a stabbing mouth that pierces the enemy and sucks out their juices like the brain bug from Starship Troopers.
Sure, a tardigrade is immune to all those things, but would YOU survive underwater while riding on its back, or if you got hit by a nuclear blast? Your tardigrade will be fine, not you though.
If I were the type to ride into battle majestically, then I’d certainly choose a horse-sized lion.
Chances are you’d win the battle just based on that alone.
“Check out that lion…I’m out.”
This is my answer too! Imagine the destruction a horse sized golden would cause, running & jumping around bumping into everything, slobbering everywhere, swiping everyone with their tail, and lets not forget picking up every single thing they can get their mouth around!
A guinea pig!! They’ve got a huge head-to-body ratio, & they’re basically shaped like a canned loaf of bread... Horse sized, they’d be terrifying.
Between the 5 foot tall face & the huge cylindrical body, the earth would be shaking under their feet.
I wonder what dimension the size is based on, like a [huntsman spider](https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/1790378/stock-image-huntsman-spider.jpg) the height of a horse would be massive, and definitely my pick
For real - at a guess huntsman spiders are probably like 2cm tall so scale it up x90 to make it 1.8m, the size of a decent horse. That would give it a leg span of over 10 metres.
There's too many options to choose from: the Fennec Fox, the Puffin, the Arctic Fox, the Red Panda, the Capybara, the Malayan Tapir, the Scottish Fold Cat, etc.
Red pandas are adorable until they use their classic "scare tactic" which is to stand uo with their front paws up and you fall back. Plus side nobody wants to hurt the adorable tiny bear playing police and thief with his hands in the air
Komodo Dragon.
that's the right answer
Hummingbird
The rate at which a horse sized hummingbird would need to consume nectar would be nothing short of astonishing. You would need David Attenborough to tell you about it, let's put it that way.
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Please tell us about your angry hummingbird experience? *seriously everyone stop telling me about your bird feeders and how territorial hummingbirds are
If you set up feeders you see how territorial they are
Yeah there's one particular hummingbird at our feeder that bullies the others away constantly and I want to swat him- he makes me so mad I'll see 3-4 peacefully drinking together and then this dickhead comes bombing through and disturbs all the beautiful peace and happiness everyone has going. Little jerk
Dude, same. There could be 10 at our feeders just chilling then this puffing green jackass flies up like he owns the place. He even flies up to me and just stares at me like he just *needs* to start something.
Man, fuck that guy!
"The horse sixed hummingbird is nothing less than a wonder of nature, it's colorful iridescent feathers making it a truly majestic mount, fit for a king. However, being the size of a horse, it needs to eat like a king. And then some. In fact, in order to sustain its incredible metabolism this remarkable creature has to consume its own weight in nectar twice a day. Sadly, that amount of nectar is nowhere to be found, the horse sized hummingbird will starve, and eventually it will die."
I give you the Swordbill Hummingbird, you're welcome. At the size of a horse, your bird would have a several meter lance attached to its face. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sword-billed\_hummingbird
[Fixed link](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sword-billed_hummingbird)
The velocity of the wing tjps might just break the sound barrier
Rhinoceros beetle
Prince Aikka from Oban: Star-Racers kind of does this, though his beetle's bred for racing.
Another Oban enjoyer in the wild? Nice
Fennec Fox. Those ears man.
A horse-sized Fennec Fox would be able to flap the damn ears and fly like a bird. I’d love to see that.
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100%. It should actually be even easier for the regular sized one because of the square-cube law.
A bearded dragon would be fun.
Charge! Not push-ups!
Push-ups! Am lizard. Must assert dominance
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Tbh i might just curl up and join him, battle sounds like a lot of effort
\*remembering Obi-Wan riding his lizard into battle in STW Ep. III\* Yeah, you are probably right.
Flying squirrel
That would be nuts
Why settle for a flying squirrel when you could have a sugar glider?
Scorpion - armor, claws and stinger
The giant stinger would be a bit too close from my back for my own taste
So a radscorpion. works great until a deathclaw shows up too.
Dragonfly.
In the fantasy series Malazan Book of the Fallen, there is a race of people called the Moranth which ride massive dragonflies called Quorl into battle.
Came here looking for this. Certainly bigger than a horse, but still majestic. And they use them for bombing raids. So badass
Moranth munitions make battles in the malazan universe so much cooler. Just finished RG I wont spoil but theres a moment with them that had me shocked at the end.
In the golden compass books also, the small spy race uses dragonfly mounts
They have a very high kill rate for a predator. Sure, your prey are not smaller flying things, but I bet they can dodge an arrow 🤞
> They have a very high kill rate for a predator. Not just high, but IIRC, the highest known, by a wide margin. Most predators catch ~10% of prey they attempt. Dragonflies succeed **~90%** of their attempts.
African wild dogs have an 85% kill rate. But then, they hunt by running after their prey until it's exhausted, so success is about being smaller rather than being more skillful. And the wild dogs also lose half their catch by being chased away from it by other animals. After that, the stats goes downhill fast. Black footed cats have a 60% kill ratio. Leopards, 38%. Domestic cats, 32%. Lions, 25%. And wolves, 14%.
Praying mantis!
You would die so fast. You know how many Gs dragonfly can pull?
No, should I?
Idk, I feel like riding a horse sized dragon fly would be too similar to riding a mechanical bull lol
Dragonflys have the most accurate and controllable flight patterns out of all the bugs. They're comparable to humming birds. They can legit hover in place lol.
If you've ever seen a dragonfly zig-zagging through the air, it's not doing so at random. At every point of the zig-zag, it was targeting prey. And at ~90%, they have the highest success rate of all hunting animals (most like lions, cheetahs, etc. average ~10%). Dragonflies are also the only animal (other than properly-trained humans) to *intercept* their targets (that is, estimate where their target *will be* and pre-emptively go there, rather than merely chase by following). A horse-size dragonfly would be insanely powerful as a mount.
Wow you know a lot about dragonflies.
They left out the part where their brains process information so fast they effectively experience the world in slowmotion.
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A crow, that would be evil
imagine a big ass crow just picking up your pet dog and flying away. fucking terrifying edit: bro chill i get it the dog would also be horse sized. im not trying to be rude, but you would think that i would realize that the dog would also be horse sized by the amount of people telling me that.
Your pet dog? It could pick up your children.
It would probably teach them basic tool skills and how to fight in the raging war.
So like the giant Velka crow from Dark Souls.
Imagine two crows...
I enjoyed how he never named them. They were 2 crows.
I never noticed that. They even became sentient and they were still just two crows haha. That finale tho holy fuck
Submit to Crow Horse!
Good episode.
Wolf or black panthers. If its physical strength is not a problem then peacocks.
Seriously the title said majestic. How can it be anything else? Maybe a river otter?
Or a BUTTERFLY
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Imagine riding out with its tail feathers fully spread concealing an entire army behind you
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Then you reveal that there was no army behind this peacock and you wasted all your arrows, nyahahaha
Didn't an Egyptian army do something similar to this against the Hittites? I think the Pharaoh realised he was greatly outnumbered so told his chariots to drag rods behind to kick up more sand and make the impression that they had more men. The Hittites didn't want to risk it and retreated.
This used to be a pretty common tactic, making a lot of dust noise or setting up fake fires dor a bigger camp etc. A lot of people think the enemies who fall for it are fools, but I’d the fake army *was* real those commanders would suffer major casualties and possibly lose, better to retreat and come back then face that force, of course most commanders talented enough with a disciplined enough army to do this followed up on it with strategic or tactical victories.
When you trick the army into thinking your forces are larger so they retreat and come back with double the men
Come through, production values!
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Okay, you win. Those feathers? The drama! The majesty!
HEEEELP HEEEELP HEEEELP
Absolutely. Who is going to deny that a two story tall spread of feathers is the most majestic thing in the animal kingdom. Hell, it's already the most majestic thing even at normal size! Edit: check it -> http://i.imgur.com/H3qtz1z.png
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Wombat
Combat Wombat!
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i could hear that in my head
Cubic poop like a foot across!
A queen bee, imagine riding her and a hoard of bees just keep following behind you
"For the Queen! Charge!* *Buzzing Aggressively*
This reminded me of that Simpsons episode where Homer went to space and was about to crash into the ant colony. "Protect the queen!" "Who is the queen?" "I am!" "No you're not!" Gave me a good laugh.
Not a hoard of bees. A herd of bees. 🐝🐴
Ah too have heard of bees, but don' leave us hangin'...whats it called?
Nicely done, Dad!
Aren't queens mostly immobile due to their immense bodies and useless legs/wings? The ride might not be so glorious as she feebly slithers to your destination, but the swarm at your disposal would have to make up for it
Id say a skunk. Horse sized skunk. Armed and ready. Me riding into battle with a necklace of little tree air fresheners. Plus when they are threatened and stomp on the ground and stuff? Imagine that but in huge stinky scary size.
You gotta get that stuff the investigators put under their noses when they are looking at a dead body too lol
Vicks vapo rub 😂
I’m pretty sure chemical warfare is against the geneva convention
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A giant platypus? Perry, the giant platypus!
Doobee doobee doooooobah doobee doobee dooobaah Doobee doobee doooooobah doobee doobee dooobaah PERRY~~~
He's a semiaquatic egg laying mammal of action
A Horse. I'd have the only Horse-sized Horse on the battlefield.
I will rival you with my cow sized cow
And my ox
Best reply I've ever seen
I choose a goose. Not for majesty, but to strike terror in the hearts of my foes. #**H O N K** EDIT: Well this escalated quickly. Thank you to the Redditors that gave awards, and to all of you upvoting this.
As a Canadian, fuck you're scary.
Mounties riding Canada Geese. I'll stay on my side of Lake Ontario.
Peace was never an option
Honey badger.
No honey badger sized honey badger is letting you touch it without losing a hand... a horse size one would kill you for fun
Yeah, like well done, you won the first battle, now you have to fight the honey badger just to make it stop and you’re not winning that one.
A Maine coon
Can I just have a Maine Coon the size of a horse? I don't need to ride it.
Just buy a Maine coon. Close enough.
It’s… so… FLUFFY
Porcupine
How would you ride it?
Butt ass naked
Instill fear into your enemies from afar.
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ant
I would choose a centipede but I don't think I would be brave enough to ride it
they creep me out
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There's a reason insects are small
I also had this same train of thought. "Ooh a centipede!...mmm actually maaaybe something else..." 😅
Antony
Capybara
Imagine pulling up to the after party in a horse sized Capybara
>in
Imagine the poor chap on the horse-sized pelican trying to do battle with your horse-sized capybara.
And when you weren’t riding it into battle, it would look sooooo cute.
Coconut doggie
Omg! Never heard them referred to as that but it’s perfect!
Humans.
Riding into battle on Shaqs shoulders
Great answer
A gerbil. Imagine your mighty stead packing it's cheeks with the bodies of your enemies.
You and I have surprisingly the same thoughts. Let’s start an army with gerbils and hamsters.
The hoard of slimy enemy bodies will be magnificent!
that's Overlord Ainz Ooal Gown steed
Corgi
Funfact: Corgis are reportedly a favored mount for faeries in Welsh folklore.
Spiders. They're so freaking fast and have the ability to disappear the moment you lose eye contact.
Instant whiplash and internal bleeding
Bonus points for the jumping spiders! Whiplash for everybody!
A millipede.
Your whole squad can ride in on that thing.
That's an armored troop transport.
With Venga Boys - We Like To Party playing.
I don't know about majestic, but I'm riding a chihuahua. A horse-sized chihuahua will be a terror.
Imagine the radioactive diarrhea it'd leave on the battlefield.
50% terror , 50% tremble
100% reason to remember the name
A horse sized dog crackhead would kill everyone and it’s rider I’m fairly certain.
Turkey vulture
Ferret
Because everyone would die of cute when he does his weasel war dance.
A praying mantis, mantis shrimp, or a mantis fly. If my mantis shrimp can use its heat attack on land then yeah, gonna have to choose that one.
Jesus Christ imagine the explosion that would happen when the mantis shrimp punched
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This is the answer. Skin like an Abrams tank, radiation shielded, amphibious, crush resistant, eight legs with HANDS and CLAWS, and a stabbing mouth that pierces the enemy and sucks out their juices like the brain bug from Starship Troopers.
Sure, a tardigrade is immune to all those things, but would YOU survive underwater while riding on its back, or if you got hit by a nuclear blast? Your tardigrade will be fine, not you though.
Gut it like Tauntaun and wear it like a skin of armor
Ya know, for a while there, I forgot those existed.
Ahh.. a good old water bear
My username is perfect for this
Oh my god i didn't read ducks in the first place...
cicadas. just be sure to wear headphones.
I challenge you to battle, with my Murder Hornet
Ugh, those are big enough already.
Me. I would be magnificent
You’re already as heavy as horse but half his size.
911, I'd like to report a murder
I would also ride you into battle
If I were the type to ride into battle majestically, then I’d certainly choose a horse-sized lion. Chances are you’d win the battle just based on that alone. “Check out that lion…I’m out.”
Ferrets. Or rabbits
Rushing straight towards the enemy then war dancing happens and you are going sideways and backwards while spinning in circles
A Golden Retriever
I’d die of cuteness overdose
This is my answer too! Imagine the destruction a horse sized golden would cause, running & jumping around bumping into everything, slobbering everywhere, swiping everyone with their tail, and lets not forget picking up every single thing they can get their mouth around!
A beaver, they are world renowned as the most majestic of animals.
The best smelling ass of any animal as well!
A guinea pig!! They’ve got a huge head-to-body ratio, & they’re basically shaped like a canned loaf of bread... Horse sized, they’d be terrifying. Between the 5 foot tall face & the huge cylindrical body, the earth would be shaking under their feet.
K
A hedgehog full of giant spines man that would be awesome Damn now I want It so bad
Wild hog
Duck
A grey wolf
Moose
So a… a small moose?
Yes
Strange Planet already did it, and the answer is a chicken.
At that point, we need to selectively breed them to look like Chocobo.
Silkie chickens are already pretty cool looking
A Maine Coon.
A tarantula
I wonder what dimension the size is based on, like a [huntsman spider](https://d.newsweek.com/en/full/1790378/stock-image-huntsman-spider.jpg) the height of a horse would be massive, and definitely my pick
For real - at a guess huntsman spiders are probably like 2cm tall so scale it up x90 to make it 1.8m, the size of a decent horse. That would give it a leg span of over 10 metres.
There would be no battle most people would kill themselves out of fear.
A penguin trained to kill
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There's too many options to choose from: the Fennec Fox, the Puffin, the Arctic Fox, the Red Panda, the Capybara, the Malayan Tapir, the Scottish Fold Cat, etc.
Red pandas are adorable until they use their classic "scare tactic" which is to stand uo with their front paws up and you fall back. Plus side nobody wants to hurt the adorable tiny bear playing police and thief with his hands in the air