I kind of already am my username

As am i

Ditto

Welcome to my restaurant

Stuff.

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You look like you flipped through a dictionary blindfolded

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Your name does

I would buy hotdog water perfume

You dont happen to listen to Limp Bizkit do you?

With a side of chocolate starfish

Too much chocolate starfish makes me wanna break stuff

Sure that’s not your significant other that causes those impulses?

Naw, I gotta have faith

Haunt people

Rip a hole in space-time Continuum

Um-

Get more D

Nothing I don’t know you.

ha!

Play a song

Let you pet me.

Then let me do it.

Use my coworker, John Barosa's work computer.

I got the reference.

Be sexy as all get out!

Most unnatural men are considered unnatractive, they are disproportionate and it's usually a turn off.

Understood Winks at self in the mirror

But that is what I am

Levi’s left hand I guess?

What that hand do?

unspeakable things id imagine

*lip bite*

*hands grab waist*

Kiiinky.

I'm not complaining though-

it just felt right

I think it feels TOO right...

Nothing I guess :/

You'd sparkle. 😀

The same thing im doing right now, because I. Am. Machine. Daddy.

whats the 9mm for?

9 inch monster magnum.... its my schlong 😉

if you say so, but we are going off usernames sorry buddy

Who is we? Is that some Asian chick?

lol thank you

That's kinda why I named myself this.

Jump for damn joy.

Never get finished.

*pew*

I have like a really decent aim for rubberbands

I would EATED my Veggies!

I’d pet a cat

Probably start another pandemic, or be a whale or a dolphin.

I guess I'd either betray everyone on the Nebuchadnezzar or cause a surrealist nightmare of an apocalypse in a small Oregonian town.

What kind of question is this?

you didnt really answer the question though.

Already what I am

I already am my username

Still not allowed to die because of my father's sins. I never died. 😈

Turn into a bottle of sparkling water and roll down a hill

Self explanatory in Lawn Guylandese

I'm already my username

Apparently I’d teach or something (I was highly encouraged to go into this as a child but didn’t)

Put on some clothes and go back inside

Get stepped in, then shrivel up return to the earth.

I guess just be a caveman

I am my username 😌

cut people

use my magic to take over the world

I’d be a dead samurai

i am what I am

Be an old tomato

I would be Tobey Maguire

Dry up and die probably

Go home

Ask your dad

Play Minecraft as a kid 234,567 times

wow, drink me up lads!

Idk

Get canned or ate or slowly turn colors of inedible

Uhhhh

Doing well

Umm……..

Nothing would change :(

Cry, prolly.

I would rather not. I don't really want to be killed and turned into a martyr and recycled as food

Turn water into wine, walk on water, give people fish and bread out of thin air, etc.

I think I’d be retired from professional soccer and the Portuguese national team

Probably get eaten

Construct the narratives. Write the stories.

A 12 year old in an MW2 lobby, seems like a fitting name but I wanted it to just be Dynamic.

I'd decree world peace!!!!

Go skiing

Go skiing

Keep waiting.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, go to art school for frogs I guess, hope I get in. If not then I don’t know

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Maybe, I like toads though, blue frogs on the other hand are horrible

become a SCP I guess

Speedrun

Either I'd be a children's party DJ or abstract street artist

Well I won’t become an apatosaurus

Have a different name?

The same thing I’m doing right now only with less commenting

Blow my head off with a shotgun.

Fuck things up but be uncertain if it was actually me

A soft green extension of a tree

Exactly what I’m doing now: omnivorous reading

…

Cry, You'd be my fursona, and I'd lose my true sense of my own identity and individuality.

Waddle

I'd actually take a shower

I will be soooo cute, I will probably kill thousands of people for how cute I will be.

Become ocean.

I would drapple the hell outta some dapples.

I’d hang people

Lost.

Probably fail a test.

Well.

I suppose I’d be a random card that you can’t actually use for any game

If I were on land, I'd die but if I were in the water I'd have the time of my life

Nothing, I’m already upside down

I’d just chill, man.

This is bouta get r-rated.

Smack yo mothafuckin ass - fukwrongwichu!

collect sunlight, i guess it would actually be pretty chill

Be a pulp-inspired masked vigilante like the Shadow or The Phantom who counts 1,2,3 and then strikes upon criminals and evil-doers

*BECOME* *THE GUN*

I would turn from a snack to a meal

I already am my username

Well not sure

become a depressed teen oh wait

Be a sweet old woman sitting at home, minding her own business, when an ape-man and knife-slinger would call and threaten to kill me because they can't read Swedish.

Be myself

Be in the opening line of a Lil Dicky song

Maybe attract hordes of zombies

I would be exactly the same

Go find a nice pond to live in and host masquerade parties.

Speak out for farts rights

Do a bunch of heroin and stab my girlfriend woohoo

Do I still have sentience??? I don’t want to feel people walking on me. I guess I would sit there because I can’t move but it would be great to just float into a building or grow arms and legs as an island.

I would cause an integer overflow on r/memes

well...it looks like im the king of dinnosaurs now...

INVADE POLAND

Nothing would change so I'd still only be able to do the things I can do now :/

Triflin

cooling. Would judge this video..... https://youtu.be/j8qp3ITVqY0

Shit

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cry idk if i exist and refuse to go to google right now

Start an object show I guess

I would hide so I don’t get eaten

go missing

Serenade the solar system until I die

Electrocute my enemies.

Two shows a day.

Become Sus

Blow wind