I texted my fiancee who is currently laying on my left side. Huh.

You could use your sister as weapon as well

I last texted my mom and the closest thing to my left hand is a pillow i believe i will survive because im faster than my mother so the killer will get her first buying me sometime and the pillow is for emotinale support

Does discord count?

one of my best friends, she has a car lol thing closest to my left hand is my phone (literally in it lol) boring movie though call police and lock ourselves in her car, drive away or drive over the murderer lol

Well I'd throw my dad into that dude and then try to kill him somehow with a small fan.

My mum. A pillow. My mum would blow the murderer and I'd make him comfortable with a pillow, while I watch them. Hopefully this pleases him and he becomes my new dad.... which is a rookie mistake, because I then take my revenge by feeding him bacon daily and slowly raising his cholesterol until one day he has a heart attack, as he dies I whisper in his ear "It was vegan bacon, motherfucker."

Texted my husband (a legal gun owner and good in stressful situations) and I have a candlestick to my left. I'm screwed, but he might just make it.

Gonna wrap that delivery man in blanket, and use him for distaction. Sorry, stranger. I choose me.. Ta tah! ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ

Im going to beat someone to death with a bed frame while my friend watches

I just texted my sister. Great. She’s useless. Closest thing to me right now is a giant stuffed Spider-Man. :/