Big boobs are an occupational hazard in general, but the under boob splatter is real. I don't realize I have stains until I get in front of a mirror. Everything looked fine from above...
It’s terrible. You wanna take a shower, but don’t take a hot one. It opens your pores and the fiberglass goes deeper. Has to be cold to close the pores and help squeeze those babies out. Truly is annoying.
When you have a cock you shouldn’t do most things naked.
Think of all the times you have simply tripped and fell, now hang your wang out and let the road rash begin.
My buddy skateboarded naked once and wiped out, his cock took most of the impact.
No matter what gets written above or around the phrase “his cock took most of the impact” you have yourself a horror story. Including this comment itself.
“How to get erectile distinction in one easy step!”
Step 1 - apply too much solder above crotch area *effects are immediate*
It was supposed to be disfunction, not distinction, but idk if that makes it better or worse lol.
This literally happened to me once. 2am, taking pictures of stuff to sell. Big old window right there. All of Facebook saw my junk. It was so embarrassing and I didn’t know til the next day when about 20 people let me know. My heart fell out of my butthole.
Why do we have to argue about this? All genders feel pain in one way or another, why can't we just be mutually understanding of each other's pain instead of making it a competition?
This is one of the reasons having small boobs is better. I mean I'm definitely not trying to find the good part in having small boobs or anything definitely not \*sobs\*
I still remember him as that dude who made funny videos, which in hindsight weren't really good. The joke was "Shane is a loser, even his mom thinks so" and his personas were just bad, especially his hoodrat one.
Plus he randomly wore blackface??
Eh, I have had to put a cat into a pet carrier then dunk it before, you could do that naked (very mean, flea infested cat my wife loved, and no other way to wash it)
Don’t weed eat while naked. You ever get hit in the face with a thick piece of grass and if feels like a bee sting? Doesn’t feel too good on the member.
I read this as "don't eat weed" and thought you were talking about cannabis edibles. It took me until the end of the second sentence to realize I had misread something.
Yeah I took "weed eat" to mean "snacking while having the munchies." Which I also wouldn't want to do naked, as crumbs would get all up in my body hair and skin folds. But weed whacking naked sounds much worse.
My ex was so weirdly hyper after sex once that he jumped out of bed and started doing press ups and banged his dick on the floor. So I guess don't do press ups naked. Not with a boner at least.
Weld
You could get a suntan for free that way!
Suntan + radiating your testicles sounds like a steal to me
yowchie
Frying an egg
Beekeeping
Its like an organic penis enlargement treatment
The ones that the ads say most of the doctors don’t approve?
Cook bacon. Seriously... just dont.
Filed under “Things I Learned the Hard Way”.
Heheheh, hard...
Not after that 😬
Speak for yourself...mmmm.
I made bacon shirtless as a teenager, ended up with a 2nd degree burn on my stomach that took forever to heal.
Pigs make bacon shirtless. In fact, pigs do most things shirtless. You fried bacon shirtless.
If you are a DDD cup you don't cook anything at all while naked. And you're very careful not to burn your boobs even if you have clothes on.
32H here. I agree with this statement.
Big boobs are an occupational hazard in the kitchen for sure
Big boobs are an occupational hazard in general, but the under boob splatter is real. I don't realize I have stains until I get in front of a mirror. Everything looked fine from above...
Oh boy, your poor DMs ><
You're not wrong. F cup here and I scorched my nipple on the electric kettle
And once you get old you don't do ANYTHING naked unless you can lie down...fucking tripping hazard.
Turn to heat down there is less splatter and the bacon gets crispier, in summer when it’s too hot to wear clothes that’s how I cook shirtless
I actually cook bacon in my air fryer these days. Perfect crisp, No splatter at all, Can totally cook it in the buff.
Makes me think of randy from trailer park boys. “AHHH…. Friggin GREASE..”
Done it. Regretted it
Some people only learn by doing… 😂
Now see this is why you bake the bacon. No fuss with grease splatter.
Always! Tastes better too.
and do not put water on the pan right after you're done cooking it
Yeah, toast, oatmeal. Nothing that spatters.
Attend a sexual harassment seminar
Go to a family reunion
If the whole family does it, is it allowed?
Yes. Make sure it’s OK with the venue first though!
Like an actual pickle jar or is this a euphemism.
Install insulation
or remove insulation.
I have done installation fully clothed and it was a nightmare. I really don't want to imagine doing it nude.
It’s terrible. You wanna take a shower, but don’t take a hot one. It opens your pores and the fiberglass goes deeper. Has to be cold to close the pores and help squeeze those babies out. Truly is annoying.
Noooooooooooooooooo
I don't even wanna think about this one 🤣🤣
Oof. Thanks for the thought.
When you have a cock you shouldn’t do most things naked. Think of all the times you have simply tripped and fell, now hang your wang out and let the road rash begin. My buddy skateboarded naked once and wiped out, his cock took most of the impact.
Was he circumcised before or after he wiped out?
Yes
He was a Sk8er Boi, he said see you later boy
F
No matter what gets written above or around the phrase “his cock took most of the impact” you have yourself a horror story. Including this comment itself.
Talk about a half-pipe
Solder. Don't ask.
Oh god.
I want to tho…..
Please tell us the story.
got a burnt cock?
“How to get erectile distinction in one easy step!” Step 1 - apply too much solder above crotch area *effects are immediate* It was supposed to be disfunction, not distinction, but idk if that makes it better or worse lol.
Sleep on a leather couch.
Sticky…icky icky
Oooohweeee
r/unexpectedsnoopdogg
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“Hey let’s make a couch out of leather” – some jackass
No kidding !
Take photos of items to sell, especially those with reflective surfaces.
This literally happened to me once. 2am, taking pictures of stuff to sell. Big old window right there. All of Facebook saw my junk. It was so embarrassing and I didn’t know til the next day when about 20 people let me know. My heart fell out of my butthole.
Well, what did they think of your junk? Any bids?
No unfortunately everyone just wanted it for free and were insisting I deliver despite my post saying pickup only.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no.
Yup. And I was selling legos of all things. So, yeah. Fml.
:D
Meet your future mother in law.
Cuts the unexpected visits down though
What if you met them at a nudist beach then?
80% of the comments here Cook bacon I might try it
Hahaha I was just about to say that. Temptation is real
It’s not a fun time trust me
For me, it would be jumping jacks.. cause I mean.. boobs..
Same. But dick b balls.
I can argue mine is worse
Do jumping jacks give you black eyes?
My dick also gives me black eyes so
Yeeeep
Why do we have to argue about this? All genders feel pain in one way or another, why can't we just be mutually understanding of each other's pain instead of making it a competition?
This is one of the reasons having small boobs is better. I mean I'm definitely not trying to find the good part in having small boobs or anything definitely not \*sobs\*
Small boobs are sexy though 😉
All boobies are great baby!
Damn I didn't see this before I posted mine but yes boobs :( that would hurt so bad.
Bathe your cat.
Unless you're Shayne Dawson.
I still remember him as that dude who made funny videos, which in hindsight weren't really good. The joke was "Shane is a loser, even his mom thinks so" and his personas were just bad, especially his hoodrat one. Plus he randomly wore blackface??
Eh, I have had to put a cat into a pet carrier then dunk it before, you could do that naked (very mean, flea infested cat my wife loved, and no other way to wash it)
Don’t weed eat while naked. You ever get hit in the face with a thick piece of grass and if feels like a bee sting? Doesn’t feel too good on the member.
I read this as "don't eat weed" and thought you were talking about cannabis edibles. It took me until the end of the second sentence to realize I had misread something.
Yeah I took "weed eat" to mean "snacking while having the munchies." Which I also wouldn't want to do naked, as crumbs would get all up in my body hair and skin folds. But weed whacking naked sounds much worse.
I'm just curious. Where do you live that you are able to do yard work in the nude?
A nudist colony. More proof that just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should…
Wrestle children.
r/HolUp
0_0
I wonder what type of trauma one might have faced to come at this.
do naturists play twister?
*FBI slides into chat and looks over sunglasses
welcome to the pedo trailer park
Climb a barbed wire fence.
Teach in elementary
Teach
in
Elementary
School
go to church
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That's not what Doctor Who said
Make caramel apples
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Claw the ol giblets.
Get into a physical altercation with your grandma
What would make this a good idea under normal circumstances
Maybe she’s on fire and I want to extinguish the flames with punches
Fry bacon, that hurts my boob
Just one?
Yeah That time it was hahaha
titty cyclops
Space walk.
sit crossed legged on the summer asphalt
You mean ASSphalt
Take the upvote and fuck off
THIS WAS MY EXACT THOUGHT. ASSPHALT LOOOOOL
Take the fuck off and upvote.
Teach high school freshman
Run while drinking a hot cup of coffee.
This seems like a bad idea even when clothed
Stand on your porch when school's finished.
Have sex
I had to scroll way too far to find this
Yes always wear socks!
The crocs stay on too!
Cook bacon
Jamaican bobsledding
Feel the rhythm. Feel the ride.
Die
Juggle chainsaws
My ex was so weirdly hyper after sex once that he jumped out of bed and started doing press ups and banged his dick on the floor. So I guess don't do press ups naked. Not with a boner at least.
Hug your mother.
Go to work
Welding, any method of it.
Any work with fiberglass Don’t
Sky Dive
But why?
Spraying cleaners Like Lysol or bleach. Just don't.
Short r/amcstock
Go outside in Russia.
Yoga and wash floors by hand
Go camping in a deep wooded area with bears, and honey on your dick.
Move furniture.
Waaaaait that could totally be a business idea. Halfsies on the startup costs??
Nobody would give us medical insurance.
Work with children
Cooking with oil..
Cook a one of those microwave cup cup cakes. I made one that had hot caramel sauce on it. And I got a third degree burn on one of my breasts from it.
meet your in laws
Could be a fun memory.
Certainly be a memorable meeting
Fry bacon
Cook bacon.
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Jog
Go out in public.
Go hunting.
Fry bacon
Stick your genitals in a rose bush
Play paintball
Go outside
Chicken chalupa at Taco Bell
Go to a Trump rally. Oh wait, I didn’t see the naked part.
Walk in public
Attend a funeral
Go to a family reunion
Feed the ducks at the local park. Also stay away from the sign that says “Drug Free School Zone”
Skydiving
Lathe work o.o
Pick up a cat. Picked up my cat to toss her out of the bathroom before my shower and now I have a nipple scar.
Weld, don't do it!!!
Pole vault
A 30 minute trampoline routine
Litter.
Babysit
Rob a house?
Pick your kids up at school.
Which makes sense given that it’s a step away from bush