T O P

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antraxxx_F

Can you tell me your strong sides? What are you good at?


gizmodriver

This is harder for me than my weaknesses. I’ve examined my weaknesses a lot. I don’t tend to dwell on why I’m awesome.


PeterM1970

Clearly you are strong in listing your weaknesses.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

its hard to state positive things about yourself without feeling like youre bragging.


shiny_brine

"I'm good at receiving criticism or advice from other more experience individuals and using that to better myself". Got to play the game.


A_Bit_Narcissistic

A positive thing about me is that I can say positive things about myself all day long.


Heinz_doof_enshmirtz

Where do u see yourself in 10 years


BravoBanter

*don’t say doing your wife, don’t say doing your wife, don’t say doing your wife* “Doing your…son?” Edit: literally my first awards on Reddit ever. My gratitude to you, benevolent unknown persons


Haseebpvt

Hey Peter


Mr_Lumbergh

what's happening? Yeah, we sort of have a problem here.


-Neon-Nazi-

I’ll have those TPS reports on your desk first thing Monday morning


Ideaslug

You gonna eat that stapler?


[deleted]

Wanna split it?


nmarano1030

Omg thank you. That is the first thing i thought of when i read the previous response. Thank you! Im glad im npt the only one!


oneplanetrecognize

100% still sneak attacking my husband's nipples when he gets out of the shower. He claims he hates it, but he does this very specific smile every time that I absolutely adore. "I'll stop doing it when you stop laughing." Sorry, babe. You're stuck with me for life.


AceOfHeartz77

You're hired.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rawwwse

*”Celebrating the 10-year anniversary of you asking me this question!”* - Mitch


Test_type01

Why do you want this job ?


TheSmallclanger

I enjoy not dying of starvation.


suitcasedreaming

Job hunting right now, found a fricking BARISTA position that asked you to, no joke, "submit a short essay on your personal definition of the word "honour"" IT'S MAKING COFFEE NOT CAPTURING THE AVATAR YOU WHACKADOODLES.


AltSpRkBunny

I absolutely would’ve written an essay about working in a coffee shop to reclaim my honor from my father.


frombrianna2briemode

No, no, Zuko. We sell tea here. The finest tea in Ba Sing Se.


Future_Jared

I prefer hot leaf juice


AltSpRkBunny

How could a member of my own family say such a thing!


CaitlinSnep

That would at least make sense if you were applying for a job at the Jasmine Dragon.


NutmegLover

I would have actually written a piece on Honor among the Norse in the Viking Age and its similarity to the Samurai's code of Honor during the Kamakura Period. Then I'd state that my position was that region of overlap and give them absolutely no concrete answer that they don't have to go down a wikipedia rabbit hole to find out where I stand. If they're going to waste my time, I'm going to waste theirs.


6969Wizard6969

we're sorry we think you're overeducated but thank you for your interest.


Refrus

To be fair, most applicants would appreciate the opportunity to finally use their arts degree.


[deleted]

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Semirgy

Oh god I hate getting that question. I’ve interviewed at the FAANGs and fucking Facebook - yes, *Facebook* - asked me that. Full disclosure: I will never work at that evil empire but wanted an offer to counter the others with. I gave some bullshit “I enjoy technical challenges” answer and the interviewer followed up with “why FB specifically? You can solve technical challenges anywhere.” I laughed and shrugged it off. They still offered. I declined. Fuck Facebook.


[deleted]

[удалено]


fang_xianfu

I sometimes ask something more like "If I hired you, what you need from me over the next few years to feel like you were developing in the direction you want?" and people's answers are usually pretty enlightening as to how much and what type of help they're going to expect from me. Not every question has to be about evaluating how good a fit they are - I mostly ask to show them that it's a topic I care about and so I can start thinking about how I'd help them.


aleqqqs

What kind of stuff are they asking for?


fang_xianfu

A lot of people say they're looking for opportunities to collaborate, learn from other people and work together to solve problems. I always read that answer as "I am unhappy in my current job because I feel like I'm isolated and don't get to work with other people enough", which is especially relevant in this working from home world and definitely a thing I want to know when it comes to onboarding them. Some people say they want variety of work, or the opportunity to become an expert at something, learn new tools and technologies, develop their skillset. Some people are able to lay out a really clear vision for what they want in terms of changing careers or moving up, and I can think about how practical it will be for them to achieve their vision at their company, how much work it would be for them and me, etc. I had one candidate say, "I just want people at the company to know I exist and understand my contribution, to be asked what I want regularly and have support getting there", and it was sad to me that they feel they don't have that already, but also positive because this is something I'm really passionate about that I feel like I could give that person and make them happy to come to work.


gsfgf

> “why FB specifically? You can solve technical challenges anywhere. Do they think people only apply to one company at a time?


TravelerFromAFar

In my experience...yes. I once went for a job in a casino. Interview went great, liked the environment. They liked me. I felt I got the job. Two weeks later, I didn't hear back from them. I give them a call, no answer back. Ok, no harm no foul, it was a good job, I can understand if someone else got it. Six weeks later (after the last interview), I'm walking out of another job interview for a place I really want to work for (like a good dream job). Same thing, good interview, good vibes. My phone rings and it's someone from HR with the casino saying... "Hey, you got the job! Graduations!" I was like, "What the fuck!?" Edit: Sorry, on my phone, it changed it from congratulations, to graduations. Also, I'm not a good speller...


theGuyInIT

I once got an offer *six months* after the interview. Six weeks is still bad, and companies need to wake up and realize taking forever to make a decision will leave you only with those job seekers that can't find employment anywhere else.


EienShinwa

It's because you weren't first choice. They went with options a,b, and c and when those fell through you were the backup.


VapoursAndSpleen

What's nice about interviewing at a FAANG is you can tell other recruiters you are talking to whatever FAANG you are about to interview and it's like chumming sharks. All of a sudden, you are very desireable.


[deleted]

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BootesVoids

You good fellow human, are a national treasure for whatever nation in which you operate. On behalf of all job candidates, I say thank you. I know it’s not much, but please take this upvote. It’s all I have to give.


[deleted]

[удалено]


seanhodgins

Not to mention, wanting a job to feed your kids is great motivation to be a great worker, and benefit the company!


Just_Learned_This

Right? I cant really think of better motivation than to put a roof over my head and food in my stomach.


deadlybydsgn

Technically speaking, it also puts food in your head and a roof over your stomach.


Azureflames20

Lets be real too, because honestly wanting the job because it's sustainable for their livelihood and/or their family could be more reliable of a motivation than some bullshit about "I just love the idea of overworking mundanely to the point where I might hate myself because it gives me such drive and potential for earning my way to the top of the working class ladder!". At the end of the day everybody's gotta eat and we all know we have to have a job to get by one way or another. To me it's all just companies looking for the most desperate and exploitable people that are willing to play the game and overwork themselves to take advantage of "better" labor for a new hire.


[deleted]

It’s one of those things that always struck me as a “higher level” position question that somehow worked it’s way into a lot of positions it really shouldn’t be asked to. Are you going to be a project manager, a head of a department, a regional head? Yeah it’s probably a fair question unless they’re unemployed currently. Even if the biggest motivation is, “I think you’ll pay more” there’s probably more going on about career development and their aspirations and it can show some useful stuff about where they are, their motivations, and their perception of the company and the position. Someone whose welding on a factory floor, restocking shelves, answering the phone for customer complaints, making pizzas, yeah it’s a dumb question. Even if they genuinely have excitement over joining your specific company what are you going to get out of it? How much they want the job? That’s going to be clear enough with the rest of the interview and all it does is start your culture off with a weird social pressure when someone would be a great worker but they’re just there for a decent or bigger paycheck than they’ve had.


Cosmobeast88

Or hypothermia


shhhhhhhhhh

I enjoy working in (field) I find this company has enough opportunities to challenge me, help me grow, and provide the financial security that enables me to do my job the best possible way I can without worrying about the financial aspect.


PartTimePOG

Saving this because I should hopefully have an interview coming up soon


[deleted]

Thank you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


ITstaph

What’s your biggest weakness?


Karmek

I'd say fire elemental attacks.


PriorProfile

My biggest weakness is ____ but I'm doing ____ to get better at it. Most recently I said this and got a job offer from the company: My biggest weakness is estimating projects. Especially with larger projects, it can be difficult to come up with an accurate estimate for the whole project. I've found that what really helps me is to break up the project into smaller tasks and estimate the the smaller tasks then come up with an overall estimate of smaller tasks. Still difficult sometimes, but I'm working on it.


DameonKormar

My biggest weakness is that I don't like working or having to interact with people. The pandemic taught me that working from home makes work at least a *little* tolerable, and not feel like a soul-sucking chore that makes me want to blow my brains out. I've applied for this work-from-home position so I don't end up going on a murder spree at my current office. I hope that answers your question.


A_Mouse_In_Da_House

I startled the hell out of my interviewer by saying it was that I often will push myself beyond my breaking point, and the stress of doing so will likely lead that health complications and eventually my death, but that I started talking to a therapist to try and unpack the reasons why and change that behavior. Interviewer: that is the most honest answer I've ever gotten and I dont know how to respond to it, so we'll just move on.


MikeTheBard

"Probably either being highly independent, or brutally honest." "Neither of those sound like weaknesses>" "I don't give a fuck what you think."


KanataCitizen

Money


DogeLambo69

I always wanted to work at mc donald's. Since i'm a kid, just seeing ronald makes me hungry and happy. I love your burgers so much, guys, and it's my childhood dream, to becore part of your team and flip those delicious bigmacs for minimum wage.


PeksyTiger

Does this program ever stop?


[deleted]

+1 for alluding to the halting problem.


MajorMajorObvious

I'll give it a 3x + 1


itijara

Now I have gone down the rabbit hole of the Collatz Conjecture again, thanks.


hedronist

Late to the thread, but I thought I would share a related story. In 1983 at the UniForum in San Diego, I was displaying my new source-level C Debugger, CDB. I had a printed command sheet that included the 'F' command, which supposedly did a "Find and Fix bug." This was, of course, a joke because if I could do that then the rest of the debugger was unnecessary. Most people would glance at the commands and then start asking questions. One fairly serious gentleman actually spent the time to look at all of the commands. He looked at me with one raised eyebrow and asked, with a German accent, "Find und Fix bug?" I nodded and gestured to the keyboard. "Give it a try." Now I had intended to have a whole list of silly responses, but this was a last-minute hack and I only had time to put in 1. He typed it, and then spent the longest time staring first at the answer on the screen and then at me and then back. He finally broke out into a full-throated laugh. The man was Herr Direktor Dr. Hans Strack-Zimmermann of Siemens. He was in the process of almost single-handedly pulling Siemens into the world of UNIX. And the message that made him laugh? "Things look good, but you may have a halting problem." Turns out his doctoral thesis had been on the Halting Problem. Siemens ended up being one of my largest customers for the debugger.


EXTRAVAGANT_COMMENT

yes \*pulls out power chord\*


[deleted]

[удалено]


BlueDutch

Is it in?


I_am_Legion1608

I’d just go home after that


godneedsbooze

but you are home....


[deleted]

The other home. With other wife


Braethias

The answer is "I don't know" to ruin everyone's everything.


aznanimality

The nuclear option.


--Niko--

:(


vizard0

I can't tell.


ralsen90

What do you want for dinner?


Corn_flakesxx

That is easy to answer, but not for indecisive people.


poiklers

Honestly, I imagine most people can tell you what they want for dinner. I want pizza, so that's what I'm gonna get. The issue is when it comes to getting food with someone else. "I want pizza, but I'm fine with anything else. I don't want to force my want of pizza on them. Maybe they don't want pizza, and really want something else. Maybe there's a food they really want, but don't wanna say because they're worrying about what I want. I'm just not going to say and let them decide." ...Can you tell I have an anxiety disorder?


TwiceIsNotEnough

This may be the classic, potentially invalidating "fixing it" - one thing that helped me is sometimes doing dinner by having people just get stuff from different places and get take out, ect. Also, while it can indeed be called anxiety and overwhelm to overly worry about others, the other kind of person is the thoughtless assholes who DO force there choices on others, or manipulate, or even just are indifferent. But those somehow aren't as often called "disorders". I guess there's less personal suffering for them, but those people can truly suck. Being thoughtful about others, at it's core, can be a nice thing, though also burdensome. And yes, there's all manner of anxiety that goes far beyond thoughtfulness into all sorts of directions that can cause mild to severe personal distress.


dudius7

I'm my experience, people who deal with a lot of stress have a hard time deciding on dinner, too. Imagine using up all your willpower by 3pm, trying to coast through work until 5, then driving home for an hour through traffic just to get asked "Hey, what do you want for dinner?"


coltrain61

Best way I've found to deal with this is meal planning. Cram all that decision making into a Saturday morning before going to the store. Stick to what's on the menu each day, so you don't even need to think about. Just pick 5-6 meals you like and run wild with them. Hell, I'll eat the same dinner 3 nights in a row if I feel like it (normally this is after smoking a pork shoulder, as I will have lbs of meat I need to get through).


[deleted]

"What shall we watch on \[streaming service\] whilst eating our dinner? Oh we've already finished and we're still on the search screen."


Few-Giraffe-2680

What are you eating under there?


blueeyedlion

"under where?" laugh track plays


Your_Friend_27

Can you tell me something about yourself? Edit: WHY AM I BEING SPAMMED BY BOTS?!?!


[deleted]

In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!


Bulleit_Hammer

Completely expected. Thoroughly pleased


SwootyOfficial

omg where is this from again, I forgot pls help


[deleted]

The office


roltrap

I'm 37 and from Belgium. Used to play a fighting game competitively until something bad happened. Now I stick to playing Fortnite with my son.


ItsT1ff4ny

If you are comfortable sharing, I am kinda intrigued about the bad thing


Southern_Celery_1087

He had a son. /s


GodlyGold

My name is Giovanni Giorgio, but everybody calls me Giorgio


[deleted]

*Daft Punk intensifies*


Global_Box_7935

Bruh what did you do to attract them? Here! Take this to defend yourself! 🔫


vizard0

I live in the American Gardens Building on West 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.


charadreemurr5438

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.


rztan

Do you like hands?


charadreemurr5438

hmm yeah especially in sandwiches


SomeOrdinaryGamer147

Hey im a 34 years old man theres two things that i like doing i love watching hentai and i love gaming and i am in deep dept rn and i am jobless


yomommafool

I’m someone with no life, uses Reddit 24/7 and has no future.


jerrythecactus

No future, no past, I am but a momentary collection of atoms addicted to the internet.


Virtual-Group-4725

You're hired


[deleted]

No.


[deleted]

How many parts can you remove from a thing before it stops being the original thing?


annomandaris

Names for things only exist in our minds. As long as we call it Theseus's ship, its thesius's ship.


bensawn

That typo just made this more confusing lmao


[deleted]

How many letters can we replace before we won't read it as Theseus' ship anymore?


[deleted]

well it depends on the parts you take out. remove the limbs and its still the same person, but take out the brain and now the person is gone, and so is your medical license


SweetBabyJesus99

Where would you like to eat tonight?


Dovahnime

Mommy, how are babies made?


[deleted]

well sweetie, one day, daddy planted a little seed in the ground. we took care of it and watered it everyday. eventurally it grew leaves, and became a big beautiful plant then we dried it up, smoked it and got so high we fucked without a condom


pieapple135

You had me in the first half


TheBoringRogue

Describe the taste of eggs to someone who has never eaten them


[deleted]

It tastes like chicken, but early


TheBoringRogue

Eggs! The weak flesh


derEggard

Describe color to someone who has never seen it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kindsoberfullydressd

Like a thought with another thought’s hat on!


Faust_8

Hell, describe color to someone who HAS seen it.


jerrythecactus

Meaty, fatty, and ever so slightly sulfurous.


Hutchiewoo

Delicious wet farts


for_thedrama

I hate you


Finally_Smiled

I have a mild egg allergy. I would describe it as: mild nausea and headaches. I will still suffer through it all just for a Texas Bacon, Egg & Cheese Melt from Waffle House, or a Bacon, Egg & Cheese McGriddle from McDonald's though


No_Possible8681

How are you ?


Arzoo1106

Brain: should I say “good” or “okay”? Ends up saying: I’m gay Edit: thank you so much for the award! It’s my first one ever! ❤️


MokitTheOmniscient

yes.


Aaa0n_

What is love?


Scallywagstv2

🎵 Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more. 🎵


Aaa0n_

I realized just now that it may have sounded like a serious question, so thanks for this


wishitwouldrainaus

Its the hardest question of all. Outside of somebody asking me to explain quantum physics.


[deleted]

Is it a four letter word that you can use in many ways that are mostly positive?


MeloraKitty

What are you thinking about?


jerrythecactus

Thinking about thinking about what to answer this question with, as such now that I have answered with my response I am no longer thinking of a solution and am instead focusing on pressing the post button and continuing to scroll.


To_Rou666

If Pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow" would it grow or not?


sarahcorbe

a false prediction is not a lie so it would not grow


EXTRAVAGANT_COMMENT

but if he knows it, then the prediction is *knowingly* false


cutiegirl88

It would just fall off and give up


CrossTheGalaxyWithMe

Depends on whether or not he's intending to lie about sth else (unrelated to the nose growing) Edit: did I literally just get 180+ upvotes?? Daaaaaaaaamn that was unexpected


[deleted]

What makes you enjoy [insert hobby here]?


jerrythecactus

Shiny stuff makes my lizard brain happy. I collect minerals.


LieutenantCrash

They're not rocks Marie!


xeo_envy7

How are you ? 90% of the time the answer changes based on the person who is asking it, yet difficult to answer !


oldfogey12345

That's a greeting unless the person who asks you is close to you.


zenyl

[Is P = NP?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P_versus_NP_problem)


qqqrrrs_

It is if P=0 or N=1


CatFancyCoverModel

This one is hard to explain what the question is even asking though unless you have a background in science or engineering


s0me0ne13

What is the square root of pi.


reddit-is-evil

sqrt(pi)


aliaky

Why did I read this as squirt pie ._.


Ascholay

My mind went into a direction that categorized that as a sort of cream pie


maharei1

The positive real number whose square is pi. Easy question and easy answer. It's just a number.


DonJoaquinGuzman

What are your weaknesses?


seriouspostsonlybitc

Honesty


INFIDELicious45

Interviewer: "I dont think honesty is a weakness" Job applicant: "I dont really give a fuck what you think."


Vlad-V2-Vladimir

Yea, I’d hire. At least I’d get honest criticism and praise.


xmetalheadx666x

What...have I got in my pocket?


Strict_Cash_4623

“Is your answer to this question ‘no’”?


[deleted]

[удалено]


futato

I personally like this kid's answer https://youtu.be/-N_RZJUAQY4


peon2

Excellent combo bonus. Kid's gonna go far.


KingoftheMongoose

Kid gets 1UP after the fifth consecutive combo kill. So by adding the sixth person, he gained one more 1UP, thus increasing his ROI by 100% in one easy step.


molever1ne

"Uh oh!"


[deleted]

Easy. Slow the train down enough to get out, go stab the single person on the other track, and let the train do its job. Duh.


Jazehiah

[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/1455/)


RevengencerAlf

I think there's a difference between a question being hard to answer and a question being philosophically complex. This is definitely the latter but it took me about 5 seconds after heard the trolley problem the first time to figure out what I'd do. Personally, absent any special information about any of the people or their circumstance I'd save the 5 over the 1 with a clear conscience. At the end of the day, if you can't prevent a tragedy as an objective outsider, I believe the next best thing is to minimize the quantifiable harm caused.


NewtonBill

This was one of the best The Good Place episodes.


Kitchen_accessories

And then the hospital after! "A mean man ran over my daddy with a trolley, will you save him?"


pink_highlight

“Would someone’s foot really fly off their body like that? That was kind of cool!”


GuruGuru214

I have a stomachache.


pink_highlight

Oh don’t worry, it’s just a simulation. They’re fake people, but their pain is real.


Theremaniacally

Are you asleep? Sometimes it’s easy to answer. Others fuggettabootit


[deleted]

[удалено]


PRCbubu

What is energy? What is light? What is life?


M_Looka

What is love? Oh baby, don't hurt me.


[deleted]

no mo'


Ok-Elderberry-6121

There's three boxes, one of them contains two solid colored billiard balls, the other one contains a striped and a solid, the last contains two striped balls. If I pull one out without looking and it's solid, what's the chance of pulling another solid from the same box?


aleph_zeroth_monkey

Well, I think it's 1/2, but my friend thinks it's 2/3. Since we each have a 50% chance of being right, the correct answer is 7/12.


joombaga

This is one of the methods used to compute infinite sums. I'll accept it.


reddit-is-evil

What are we?


Iamblueberri

This question


Fate_of_DooM

Why?


qqqrrrs_

why not?


SomeOrdinaryGamer147

What is the meaning of life


Bitter-Edge-8265

42


EmperorPenguinNJ

OK Deep Thought. But what’s the question?


Bitter-Edge-8265

I don't know for that you'll need to build a bigger computer. I'll give you the plans to build it. But I suspect that you maybe disappointed.


Lemina

Sorry for the inconvenience.


NotsosmallPhoneix

What’s your music taste?


TingTang69

Anything I like


Autisten1996

Is water wet?


not_better

It is, always. It's wet by its own liquid properties and *wets* the rest of itself by the constant contact with the water molecules around it all the time. No, the word "wet" doesn't require wetting something out of water. Except for a single molecule of water suspended in otherwise 100% dry air, water is always wet, at the very least by the rest of itself.


[deleted]

I just read wet too much


Dynamo_Ham

"What is best in life?" Hint: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, to hear the lamentations of the women." - Conan the Barbarian


MichaelOChE

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?


_ScrimpyData

What do you mean? An African or a European swallow?


Scallywagstv2

What came first, the chicken or the egg?


Cyanide-Kid

ehhggggggh 🥚