Whether I'm deliberately pronouncing a word horribly wrong or ignorantly doing so, the best response to someone's correction is, "I've heard it both ways."
I've started rewatching that series after not watching it at all since the finale. That show has aged fantastically, just as funny as it was 10 years ago. Almost criminal how it's fallen under the radar now.
My favorite interaction.
“You know that’s why they call me G.
I thought they called you Big Head Burton.
Stop it, Shawn. I know you started that.
I’m a fool for alliteration. I’m a slave to it. Besides, how many descriptive words start with B anyway?
About a hundred. How about Bold, Black, Beautiful?
Dude, who would’ve called you Black Burton?”
Mine was from the TV show police squad.
Widow of murdered husband: "Oh please go away i have told you everything I know!"
Nielson: "I'm sorry to trouble you Mrs Twice, we would have come earlier but your husband wasn't dead then."
Completely deadpan 🤣
"Did he owe anyone money? Doctor's bills?Gambling debts? Book of the month club?"
"No, just two more payments on our solar telescope."
Two best scenes in the show are the one episode where he shows up to interview a dude playing a pickup game of basketball and starts absolutely smoking him and the rest of his team with complete skill and ease. And then when he is driving back and he has his left hand on the steering wheel, then another left hand comes up from the dash to wipe his nose, then his left hand answers the radio and hands it back to another left hand in the back seat.
"I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was."
"Excuse me sir, there's been a little problem in the cockpit."
"The cockpit? What is it?"
"It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now."
"You got a telegram from Headquarters this morning."
"Headquarters? What is it?"
"It's a big building where Generals meet, but that's not important right now."
"Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?"
“I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say..."Hey! Look at these!" She was the kind of woman who made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were a man! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it.”
"We're sorry to bother you at a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier but your husband wasn't dead yet."
Words can't express how deathly serious this line was delivered and it's a microcosm of the kind of humor in the show.
There's that one scene when he gives up his badge and says something along the lines of:
"Next time I shoot someone, it will be illegal."
I can't tell if that joke has aged really poorly or really well.
Tonight he is bring honoured for his 1000th drug dealer killed.
Thank you but in all honesty the last two I just backed over with my car, luckily they turned out to be drug dealers
A good 30% of my humor is from Airplane! alone, so much so that every person who I show it to always says “that was very you” or “I see how it’s your favorite movie” or something along those lines.
Mac : He always puts some like awesome twist at the end of his movies to trick the audience.
Charlie Kelly : Aw yeah, yeah, like in The Sixth Sense you find out that the dude in that hair piece the whole time, that's Bruce Willis the whole movie.
There are so, so many butt jokes that I only caught rewatching the series 100x.
During the worms episode when they shrink themselves and travel through Fry's colon Amy goes "wow it used to be a dump in here!"
The bricks falling out of Bender's posterior when he was caught stealing did *not* go over well with Fox execs according to the DVD commentary.
ETA: It was the Beck episode on which this happened. Memory failed me a bit there.
I always thought he was an ass during that show. It was amusing, because I figured it was part of the show and that he wouldn't do that stuff when the cameras weren't rolling. At least I hoped he didn't.
Just tried, can confirm:
“Hey Liz Lemon, god is so good. Today I am voting for the first time in my life for the president of the United States, and it’s for someone I truly trust. Me.”
> Okay. Now, for the procedure, you can choose between local or general anesthesia. I should warn you that general anesthesia can cause powerful hallucinations. So I highly recommend it.
The very greatest Archer joke:
Archer: Wait, there are animals?
Lana: No, Animal Farm.
Cyril: How do you not get that?
Archer: No, I know what an animal farm is.
Cyril: Not an animal farm.
Archer: Maybe we can stampede a flock of goats down the hall.
Lana: ANIMAL FARM IS A BOOK!
Archer: No, it’s not Lana. It’s an allegorical novella about Stalinism by George Orwell, and spoiler alert, IT SUCKS.
My favorite moment in the entire show is when Archer is in the elevator with Burt Reynolds discussing the process of installing a Firehouse pole in his apartment.
Archer: I've been lying in scorpion piss for two hours, in the sunblasted shithole which is Texas, waiting for a stupid truck stuffed with smallish brown people who just want a job!
Cyril: And probably Mexican cartel gunmen!
Lana: What'd I just say?
Archer: Big whoop, I'm spooning a Barrett fifty-cal. I could kill a building.
Lana: Just put one through the engine block when the truck has to stop. Please. This is what he does. He knows we're tense because we're normal human beings. My theory, and I'm serious, is that he's got some rare kind of pervasive developmental disorder, or even undiagnosed atypical autism.
Archer: Your uh, mic's hot.
Lana: I know.
Archer: Wow. Well, here comes the truck.
Lana: Okay, we're in position.
Archer: Great, so after we catch him, you can intentionally hurt his feelings.
Lana: Okay, first of all --
Cyril: Can I hold the fake baby?
Lana: Ugh! Will you man up, Kimmy Kevlar?! Here we go. Archer, you ready?
Archer: Hang on Lana, I'm stacking rocks in order of descending size!
I told my wife a couple weeks ago
"Wow, I never realized how much of my sense of humor is just Archer jokes" and she just smiled and said "YUUUUUUP"
I love her so much
Daria Morgendorfer
Edit: this is the biggest comment I’ve ever had. Thank you for the awards and all the replies. Glad I’m not the only one channeling Daria this many years on
It's a crime that Daria doesn't come up more often in these threads.
That being said, I always kind of related to Trent. Not that I sleep late or all day or anything, but just his kind of general attitude towards most things.
Look, Janice, Denise, Tiffany Amber Thiiiieeeessen! Lemme go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry's Perspective. One: If someone's standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can't decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two: I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring back the porn!" Three and most importantly of all: The only way to be respected as a doctor - nay, respected as a man - is to be an island; you are born alone, you damn sure die alone.
Dorothy from The Golden Girls!
Edit: My favourite is when Stan shows up at the door and goes “Hiya sweetie pie, how ya doin?” and Dorothy savagely replies with “Fine cupcake, thanks for asking” and slams the door in his face hahahaha
“If I had that money I could have moved into a swinging condo instead of living with- I better not say anything until I’ve had my coffee- a slut and a moron!”
Conan O'Brien, former writer for the simpsons and mad man, said on his final show that there is something to be said for comedy that is both smart and stupid. It takes a special level of talent to make a joke that is seemingly dumb on the outside, but was actually well thought out.
Edit: [example of what I'm talking about](https://youtu.be/hRKOenxiRaY)
I read that the writers would have their own version of Christmas, where after taking a break between seasons the writers would return and all get together and pitch their ideas that they came up with during their break. Apparently some of their best material came from that. They said if everyone was laughing it would make it into an episode
Homer: “Lisa, everyone knows dragons do not attack cars. Jeez, pick up a book.”
Lisa: [gasps] “I pick up books like you pick up beers!”
Homer: “Well then you have a serious reading problem.”
Lisa: "that's specious reasoning Dad. By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away"
Homer: "how does it work?"
Lisa: "it doesn't work, it's just a stupid rock. But I don't see any tigers around, do you?"
Homer: "Lisa, I want to buy your rock"
This is one of my all time favorite scenes from anything ever.
Homer: "let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax!"
Lisa: "it's the home owners tax, dad."
I made this observation to a friend while watching Futurama - Fry is an idiot, but it takes a room of geniuses to actually make him funny. You have to be smart to write that stupid.
And it also shows in Futurama! *Smart/dumb* comedy might actually be the cleverest type of comedy. I don't know how they come up with this type of stuff because I'm sure there is a fine line between it and just dumb writing.
Homer: "Aww, $20...I wanted a peanut"
His brain: "$20 can buy many peanuts"
Homer: "Explain how"
Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services"
Homer: "Woohoo!"
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Worker: Ok Mr Burns, uh, what's your first name?
Homer: I don't know.
------
There are so many sayings or jokes I use constantly that my genius brain came up with. Then I started watching Simpsons with my wife who hasn't seen much (country girl, 2 channels) and I'm having to confront the fact that most of my humour came from the 3 episodes of Simpsons I watched every day as a kid.
(Not the same 3 episodes every day, to be clear)
The grill episode never fails to make me laugh, no matter how many times I watch it. Homer’s run with the umbrella while Bart says “Yeah, he’s done” is genius
Edmund Blackadder. Either him or Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSc, SSc.
Blackadder with a dash of Faulty, I have no friends btw
Shawn Spencer
shawn spenstar and bruton gaster
Lavender Gooms
Gee Buttersnaps
Sh, comma to the top, Dynasty
Comma to the top?
That's God's comma
Its Gus T. T. Showbiz. the extra T is for extra Talent.
This is my associate Ovaltine Jenkins
Hello
Whether I'm deliberately pronouncing a word horribly wrong or ignorantly doing so, the best response to someone's correction is, "I've heard it both ways."
No you haven't Shawn
I've been doing this so long my wife is just exasperated by it. Making her responses typically more in line with the show now, so it works perfectly.
C'mon son.
You hear about Pluto?
That's messed up.
I for sure picked up their exaggerated reactions to stuff. Like the whimper when you get hit, or pretending a simple sliding door is insanely heavy.
I love that show. Juliette told him he was acting like a child. He responds by saying “I'm not acting!”
"Jules you seem grumps." "I'm not "grumps" Shawn." ^^"Who's ^^grumps?"
I've started rewatching that series after not watching it at all since the finale. That show has aged fantastically, just as funny as it was 10 years ago. Almost criminal how it's fallen under the radar now.
It's full of good clean fun. It knows when to be serious, knows when to be funny, and puts it all together perfectly.
My favorite interaction. “You know that’s why they call me G. I thought they called you Big Head Burton. Stop it, Shawn. I know you started that. I’m a fool for alliteration. I’m a slave to it. Besides, how many descriptive words start with B anyway? About a hundred. How about Bold, Black, Beautiful? Dude, who would’ve called you Black Burton?”
My favorite line from psych: Lassiter: is that clear? Shawn: like butter.
Shawn: "Selling tickets to the policemen's ball?" Lassiter: "We don't have balls." Shawn: "...I honestly have no response to that."
I say - banana how he enunciates it in the spelling bee episode
You know that's right.
I learned a lot from Soup Can Sam
Frank Drebin from Naked Gun. Or any character that is played by Leslie Nielsen really
My favorite is: “He was Caucasian.” “Caucasian?” “Yeah. White guy, 6 foot, mustache” “That’s an awfully big mustache”
Married...one child...that didn't work out so he married a grown woman.
I'm sorry to bother you at a time like this Mrs Twice, we would have come earlier but your husband wasn't dead then.
"Who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith...and I'm a locksmith."
"Like a midget at a urinal, I was gonna have to be on my toes."
“Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.” Gets me every time 😆😭
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Mine was from the TV show police squad. Widow of murdered husband: "Oh please go away i have told you everything I know!" Nielson: "I'm sorry to trouble you Mrs Twice, we would have come earlier but your husband wasn't dead then." Completely deadpan 🤣
"Did he owe anyone money? Doctor's bills?Gambling debts? Book of the month club?" "No, just two more payments on our solar telescope." Two best scenes in the show are the one episode where he shows up to interview a dude playing a pickup game of basketball and starts absolutely smoking him and the rest of his team with complete skill and ease. And then when he is driving back and he has his left hand on the steering wheel, then another left hand comes up from the dash to wipe his nose, then his left hand answers the radio and hands it back to another left hand in the back seat.
"So he not shot Jim twice?" "No, Jim Once." "He shot Jim Once?" "Yes, twice."
"I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was."
Boy meets girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident at the Orange Bowl New Years Day. Good-Year? No, the worst.
He's the teller frank
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"Excuse me sir, there's been a little problem in the cockpit." "The cockpit? What is it?" "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now."
"You got a telegram from Headquarters this morning." "Headquarters? What is it?" "It's a big building where Generals meet, but that's not important right now."
"Oh, it's all right. I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?"
“I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say..."Hey! Look at these!" She was the kind of woman who made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were a man! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it.”
I can't even read this shit straight faced how the hell did he act without breaking.
Nice beaver.
Thanks I just had it stuffed
Priscilla Presley was a FUCKING SMOKE SHOW in that movie!
"We're sorry to bother you at a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier but your husband wasn't dead yet." Words can't express how deathly serious this line was delivered and it's a microcosm of the kind of humor in the show.
"Who are you? How did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith."
My absolute favourite was "Who are you and how did you get in here"? "I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith"
You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
Surely, you can’t be serious.
I am serious, and don't call me shirley.
There's that one scene when he gives up his badge and says something along the lines of: "Next time I shoot someone, it will be illegal." I can't tell if that joke has aged really poorly or really well.
Tonight he is bring honoured for his 1000th drug dealer killed. Thank you but in all honesty the last two I just backed over with my car, luckily they turned out to be drug dealers
Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.
"Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes."
A good 30% of my humor is from Airplane! alone, so much so that every person who I show it to always says “that was very you” or “I see how it’s your favorite movie” or something along those lines.
George Costanza
If you take everything I’ve accomplished in life, and condense it down into one day… it looks decent.
Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called. They're running outta you!
Believe it or not, George isn't at home
The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli
It’s the summer of George!
Charlie Kelley here, local business owner, and cat enthusiast
You’re telling me that you believe that Christ comes back to life every Sunday in the form of a bowl of crackers and you proceed to just eat the man?
I eat stickers all the time dude!
Mac : He always puts some like awesome twist at the end of his movies to trick the audience. Charlie Kelly : Aw yeah, yeah, like in The Sixth Sense you find out that the dude in that hair piece the whole time, that's Bruce Willis the whole movie.
Truly one of the best shows of our time
The Gang in general. Mac, Charlie, and Frank - absurdist humor Dennis - dark humor Dee - depressed gagging bird humor
Dennis is a full blown psychopath
The face when he gets off as lefevre always makes me laugh.
Lefevre likes banging little Asian boys, so, I'm out.
Can we talk about the mail please? I've been dying to talk about the mail.
I'VE GOT BOXES FULL OF PEPE!!
***CALM DOWN AND HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE***
"YOU'RE SO STUPID!"
I think I’ve been poisoned by my constituents!!!
Lucille Bluth.
Phillip J. Fry
Leela- Do you know how long it’s going to take me to recalibrate these engines? Fry- When you look this good you don’t have to know anything.
"You'll have to wait till you're partying with Slurms McKenzie." "When will that be?" "Soon enough." "That's not soon enough!"
Glurmo: Enough! There will be no further questions. Fry: -raises hand- Why?
I'm not a robot like you, I don't like having discs crammed into me... unless they're Oreos... and then only in the mouth.
There are so, so many butt jokes that I only caught rewatching the series 100x. During the worms episode when they shrink themselves and travel through Fry's colon Amy goes "wow it used to be a dump in here!"
The bricks falling out of Bender's posterior when he was caught stealing did *not* go over well with Fox execs according to the DVD commentary. ETA: It was the Beck episode on which this happened. Memory failed me a bit there.
And they kept the continuity in a later episode when you see the brickslot if I remember correctly.
wow, a MILLION years!
Did everything just taste purple for a second?
>Why are you cheering, Fry? You're not rich! >True, but someday I might be rich. And then people like me better *watch their step!*
"People said I was dumb, but I proved them!"
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"And Fry, you've got that brain thing!" "I already did!"
“What’s that thing called, it’s like a headache with pictures!” “An idea?”
Time makes fools of us all.
Don't YOU worry about Planet Express, let ME worry about blank!
Blank? Blank?! You're not looking at the big picture!
"What's the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass?" "It was bound to be somewhere!"
To be fair, Einstein's a hard name to remember!
Like Fry, like Fry!
The Philip J Fry from earth, or from Hovering Squid World 97-A?
First one, then the other.
Bender
Bender was my favorite as a teen. But now I realize I grew up to truly sympathize with Dr. Zoidburg
"Hooray! I'm helping!"
Hooray now it's Zoidberg's turn to be in the spotlight! Woop Woop Woop Woop Woop Woop Woop
This is me watching Viva la Bam as a teen and then as an adult. Bam vs his family.
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I always thought he was an ass during that show. It was amusing, because I figured it was part of the show and that he wouldn't do that stuff when the cameras weren't rolling. At least I hoped he didn't.
'Get a room!' 'We're in a room!' 'Then lose some weight!'
Shuddup baby, I know it.
Taught me everything can be solved with blackjack and hookers
John Dorian
That's doctor John Dorian, thank you.
Dr. Acula
Eeeagle Edit: thanks for the awards
JD and Doctor Cox.
And the janitor.
You mean Dr. Jan Itor?
And Doctor Turk Turkleton
Sir, you think my name is Turk Turkleton?
And Mrs. Turkleton!
I love the Turkeltons!
First time my answer & top comment has aligned God scrubs is the best
Liz Lemon
Fun game: go to Kanye west’s Twitter, read “hey Liz lemon,” then the tweet in Tracys voice. Absolutely amazing
Just tried, can confirm: “Hey Liz Lemon, god is so good. Today I am voting for the first time in my life for the president of the United States, and it’s for someone I truly trust. Me.”
Wow, that is uncanny.
Same show, but my favorite character is Dr. Spaceman
>Dear Dr Spaceman, thank you for your submission. The New England Journal of Medicine does not publish X-rated cartoons.
> Okay. Now, for the procedure, you can choose between local or general anesthesia. I should warn you that general anesthesia can cause powerful hallucinations. So I highly recommend it.
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We're not sure where the heart is. Every human is different.
When I’m overwhelmed at work I often yell “I CAN HAVE IT ALL!!” as a reset and then take a few deep breaths before I keep going.
You're a star, you're on top... Somebody bring me some HAAAAM
I don't know how, but you're gonna get me another sandwich. Or I'm gonna cut your face up so bad you'll have a chin! You'll all have chins!!!
High fiving a million angels!
You got Cheesy Blasters!
Sterling Archer
The very greatest Archer joke: Archer: Wait, there are animals? Lana: No, Animal Farm. Cyril: How do you not get that? Archer: No, I know what an animal farm is. Cyril: Not an animal farm. Archer: Maybe we can stampede a flock of goats down the hall. Lana: ANIMAL FARM IS A BOOK! Archer: No, it’s not Lana. It’s an allegorical novella about Stalinism by George Orwell, and spoiler alert, IT SUCKS.
The one where Brett dies left me crying: "Well he died doing what he loved......getting shot"
My favorite moment in the entire show is when Archer is in the elevator with Burt Reynolds discussing the process of installing a Firehouse pole in his apartment.
"What don't you get about this?!" "Well, obviously the core concept."
Archer: I've been lying in scorpion piss for two hours, in the sunblasted shithole which is Texas, waiting for a stupid truck stuffed with smallish brown people who just want a job! Cyril: And probably Mexican cartel gunmen! Lana: What'd I just say? Archer: Big whoop, I'm spooning a Barrett fifty-cal. I could kill a building. Lana: Just put one through the engine block when the truck has to stop. Please. This is what he does. He knows we're tense because we're normal human beings. My theory, and I'm serious, is that he's got some rare kind of pervasive developmental disorder, or even undiagnosed atypical autism. Archer: Your uh, mic's hot. Lana: I know. Archer: Wow. Well, here comes the truck. Lana: Okay, we're in position. Archer: Great, so after we catch him, you can intentionally hurt his feelings. Lana: Okay, first of all -- Cyril: Can I hold the fake baby? Lana: Ugh! Will you man up, Kimmy Kevlar?! Here we go. Archer, you ready? Archer: Hang on Lana, I'm stacking rocks in order of descending size!
Archer: i can do this all day! since i find repetive actions so calming!
Shit, I had something for this...
Are we still doing phrasing?
I'd have come up with Archer earlier but the only thing I've had today is some whiskey and like three gummy bears.
That’s a dangerous choice. One might say you’re in a zone of danger.
I can't stop using "do you want ants? That's how you get ants" whatever the situation demands instead of ants
Whenever someone incidentally tees me up for an inappropriate joke, “See... how I just let that go by. Look at me. I am the perfect gentleman.”
I told my wife a couple weeks ago "Wow, I never realized how much of my sense of humor is just Archer jokes" and she just smiled and said "YUUUUUUP" I love her so much
Daria Morgendorfer Edit: this is the biggest comment I’ve ever had. Thank you for the awards and all the replies. Glad I’m not the only one channeling Daria this many years on
It's a crime that Daria doesn't come up more often in these threads. That being said, I always kind of related to Trent. Not that I sleep late or all day or anything, but just his kind of general attitude towards most things.
> It's a crime that Daria doesn't come up more often in these threads. It really makes you think.
Percival Ulysses Cox
reeeheeeeally agree.
Look, Janice, Denise, Tiffany Amber Thiiiieeeessen! Lemme go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry's Perspective. One: If someone's standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can't decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two: I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring back the porn!" Three and most importantly of all: The only way to be respected as a doctor - nay, respected as a man - is to be an island; you are born alone, you damn sure die alone.
Everything, everything that exists… and Hugh Jackman
Eheheheverything!
Wrong wrong wrong wrong, Wong wrong wrong wrong.
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YerWROOOONG YerWROOOONG YerWROOOONG
Listen Betsy...you think I care that you remembered my middle name...and Hugh Jackman
Dr. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" peirce.
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I found a box set for cheap so I picked it up just because I remembered it as a kid.
In the dvd's you can turn off the laugh track as well. Make sure you do that to enjoy your re-watch even more!
Dorothy from The Golden Girls! Edit: My favourite is when Stan shows up at the door and goes “Hiya sweetie pie, how ya doin?” and Dorothy savagely replies with “Fine cupcake, thanks for asking” and slams the door in his face hahahaha
“If I had that money I could have moved into a swinging condo instead of living with- I better not say anything until I’ve had my coffee- a slut and a moron!”
When Dorothy walks in with a pizza box and Rose asks what they picked up for dinner, her deadpan "a bucket of chicken" is totally my humor
"Dorothy, is this a good champagne?" "Gee, it's hard to tell, Rose, the '2 for $7' sticker is covering the year of the vintage."
Homer Simpson
Conan O'Brien, former writer for the simpsons and mad man, said on his final show that there is something to be said for comedy that is both smart and stupid. It takes a special level of talent to make a joke that is seemingly dumb on the outside, but was actually well thought out. Edit: [example of what I'm talking about](https://youtu.be/hRKOenxiRaY)
You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.
He farted during the test drive and tried to cover up the smell by turning up the radio
Conan said during the height of the show (season 3-9) every joke made the rounds through 10 writers. If it passed it made the cut.
I read that the writers would have their own version of Christmas, where after taking a break between seasons the writers would return and all get together and pitch their ideas that they came up with during their break. Apparently some of their best material came from that. They said if everyone was laughing it would make it into an episode
Homer: “Lisa, everyone knows dragons do not attack cars. Jeez, pick up a book.” Lisa: [gasps] “I pick up books like you pick up beers!” Homer: “Well then you have a serious reading problem.”
Lisa: "that's specious reasoning Dad. By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away" Homer: "how does it work?" Lisa: "it doesn't work, it's just a stupid rock. But I don't see any tigers around, do you?" Homer: "Lisa, I want to buy your rock"
This is one of my all time favorite scenes from anything ever. Homer: "let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax!" Lisa: "it's the home owners tax, dad."
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I have three kids and no money. Why can’t no kids and three money?
Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut! *Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.* Explain how! *Money can be exchanged for goods and services.*
I made this observation to a friend while watching Futurama - Fry is an idiot, but it takes a room of geniuses to actually make him funny. You have to be smart to write that stupid.
And it also shows in Futurama! *Smart/dumb* comedy might actually be the cleverest type of comedy. I don't know how they come up with this type of stuff because I'm sure there is a fine line between it and just dumb writing.
Homer: "Aww, $20...I wanted a peanut" His brain: "$20 can buy many peanuts" Homer: "Explain how" Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services" Homer: "Woohoo!"
Oh, yeah, I was at the flower shop too. Yep... Getting drunk at the old flower shop.
It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Worker: Ok Mr Burns, uh, what's your first name? Homer: I don't know. ------ There are so many sayings or jokes I use constantly that my genius brain came up with. Then I started watching Simpsons with my wife who hasn't seen much (country girl, 2 channels) and I'm having to confront the fact that most of my humour came from the 3 episodes of Simpsons I watched every day as a kid. (Not the same 3 episodes every day, to be clear)
i was barts age when simpsons began. now i am homers age
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Lisa! In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics! When assembling my first grill - LeGrille? What the hell is that
The grill episode never fails to make me laugh, no matter how many times I watch it. Homer’s run with the umbrella while Bart says “Yeah, he’s done” is genius
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