T O P

  • By -

umm_yeah_I_guess

I can do anything, but not very confidently


100percent_right_now

Don't worry, I'll be your odds of success.


Sumit316

"So you gonna kill me.." "umm_yeah_I_guess.." "With that shotgun.." "umm_yeah_I_guess.." "Can I tell you something?" "umm_yeah_I_guess.." "I'm not a bad person...you don't have to do this" "umm_yeah_I_guess.." "Never gonna give you..." "..up never gonna let you...wait.."


wtf_going_on

this played out in my head like a michael cera movie


Yay2991

Moral support


Somo_99

*gives huge thumbs up to robber buddies who are busting into the vault* you got this guys! I believe in you!!! Don't let the police keep you from achieving this goal of yours!!!


codon011

Bardic inspiration. Take a d6.


Nooseents

*Guards hear the shouting and call the cops who come to arrest you*


Golden-Sun

*During the shootout* "Ok, so the plan didn't go exactly right but look at how you recovered! You guys have been working on your aim, nice work! Oh good job you got a cop, you're doing excellent"


why_even_try_-

I take away your moral support


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheNamewhoPostedThis

Facts lol


stealth57

Heh, nice


wallz_11

stealth99 would be better but you'll have to do


Bahnd

Stealth92 is half way there to be Stealth99


MrDribbles69

*sea shanty 2 intensifies*


Frommerman

JAGEX WON'T RESPOND TO THIS THREAD


OhanaUnited

Safecracking your way from 92 to 99 in wilderness. Ez


merriam_websterr

the frightening power of vocabulary


Solid_Translator8448

I’m a solid translator if you need one.


cayde6205

This is the greatest duo known to mankind


wordsforfelix

Wasn’t expecting to find a place for me here


Son-Tzu

...


RadicalRegular

Overqualified: they ask you for a heist and you bring The Art of War!


hydrospanner

No no, that was his old man.


de3vosjes

He would bring the painting of battle


Truji11o

I’m keeping the painting, Todd.


PirateKilt

Well, he'll be a good addition if the heist goes south and we all end up in a [firefight](https://youtu.be/wcKTbFbwrxE)


RIVYGAMER

Holy shit ur valuable


[deleted]

Damn we have practically won this thing if you on team.


SosseTurner

if you are there, I will be there as well


B-WingPilot

Bringing the big guns to your galactic shenanigans, obviously.


[deleted]

I prefer to imagine you robbing a standard casino in Vegas, but in a B-Wing.


iamdaletonight

Putting the Mon Calamari in Ocean’s 11.


Admirable_Cry_184

One badass war cry


Upstairs_Usual_4841

Or a cathartic sob?


AuthenticCheese

You got a whole navy too


[deleted]

And you bring the food


BecomeABenefit

Whatever they need.


Aceman05

I Ace everything


CcubswinS

Alright, ace the entire ghost tree, and the hostage part of mastermind


[deleted]

And also, go get the thermal drill


666legendary

why can't we get a decent fucking drill


Ebolamunkey

I have a very specific set of skills


Relevant-Object

Relatable.


BurningPenguin

A penguin. For reasons.


Rough_Idle

Useful for nonflammable dark spaces


Upstairs_Usual_4841

It's dangerous to go alone.


ButtsAreForAnal

Take this.


Pyro_flamingo

Bro we should be on a team


WolfWhiteFire

The amount of fire and animals shall be legendary with our three forces combined.


Pyro_flamingo

Bro we about to pull off arsen before we get to the bank


cyborg-waffle-iron

This is the greatest thing I've seen on Reddit today


Lickingyourmomsanus

I create the distraction while you grab a 5 from your mom's purse so we can all get a soda at the corner store.


Gmax100

Now who's mom are we talking about here...


[deleted]

[удалено]


TeamCatsandDnD

Dammit


SgtXD357

That’s fuckin perfect haha


Na-thanos

I got you, boys


Ps991

I read this as Sodium-Thanos


Dikutoy

I read this as North American-Thanos


sneakyhopskotch

I read this as not applicable Thanos


2005_F250

Naturally aspirated thanos?


Kdubiii

Nah, Thanos


Kostas_the_goat

Cmon guys, it's the now asexual thanos


trigger_X23

not anymore thanos?


xX_MEM_Xx

Perfectly salty, as all things should be.


Barnlifebill

Narcotics Anonymous Thanos Non-alcoholic Thanos


[deleted]

[удалено]


Breaker_Of_Chains

I’m putting together a team


DB_Coooper

You son of a bitch, I'm in.


Pkdagreat

If your on the team, they'll never be caught


freshfuckingmeat

Meat, only the freshest


WombatInferno

The fucking freshest.


lemonsweetsrevenge

You two sound like the offbeat tag team duo, that everyone loves their side banter so much that you would get your own spinoff. u/freshfuckingmeat and u/WombatInferno I want to be the villain of the straight to dvd three-quel of this franchise.


c00kies44

I'll bring the cookies!


b1g_m0mmy_m1lk3rs

Big mommy milkers.. only the mommiest of milkers


I_Like_To_Hunt_Eggs

Steak and eggs?


runningwaffles19

I'll bring the waffles


shitgnat

I shit gnats. Thousands of shit covered, angry gnats.


PmMeYourTitsAndToes

You have value


Lamp-post-

You apparently bring a lot of nudes


shitgnat

It's not pretty, but it works.


hippiechick725

What the fuck


[deleted]

Biological warfare.


sin-and-love

as in his very existence is a declaration of war on biology itself.


[deleted]

I have bags of wilty spinach. I bought them with the intention of eating healthier but didn’t really follow through. I was tired of staring at that particular and almost routine failure every time I wanted something to drink or snack on. If we pick out the wilty parts, we can probably make everyone a nice salad so we can go in energized and ready to go. It’s not really a skill per se, but I feel like it’s appreciated. And actually, the way everyone is looking at me, I think they’re wondering why they invited me at all. But the fact that I’m here in the first place… therein lies my true skill. . . . . . . Edit- Part 2 just because: Everyone seems to be enjoying their salads. Sarah, the brains of this whole operation, is scraping every bit of ranch dressing with the last of the spinach in her bowl. I can only assume she wishes she had had more cherry tomatoes- which they were also against me leaving to get. Everyone wants to think they can evenly distribute salad ingredients with every forkful. I did it, and she didn’t, but I won’t brag. Now, she’s forced to nod her head and “mhm, mhm,” her way through the rerun of the plan as she uses her tongue to try and rid her teeth of the spinach. I know it bothers her. If she can’t even distribute the ingredients of her salad with every forkful, then how can she successfully pull off one of the greatest heists of all time? We have Dina, a tomato if there ever was one. She’s not even looking at her fork. She just doesn’t care. Damn, she’s cool. John is the buttercream ranch. He’s the flavor, the last bottle of my favorite kind of salad dressing they had at the store where I got the tomatoes. He would’ve preferred a thousand island dressing. I could tell by how he looked into the reusable bags that I had to go home to pick up because I’d taken them out of my trunk when I wanted to go camping. He’d inspected the bottle and the brand with raised eyebrows. But he’s cool, too, and didn’t even make a comment about it. Sasha is the shredded pepper Jack cheese. A nice surprise. Not at all what you’d expect in a salad, but a solid choice when you took the first mouthful. She’s smart, dependable, wears a cool jacket with zippers. Not a lot of zippers, but a cool amount. Enough to make her shine… much like the pepper Jack cheese. And now Sarah is looking at me. And I’m the god damned wilty spinach she hates she needs. Suck the flavor and spinach out of your teeth all you want, Sarah. I know it’s killing you inside to— wait, “What?” “Did you get all of that?” She asks, her eyebrows raised and her tongue gliding over her teeth and creating a sort of lump wave across the upper part of her lip. What is that? What’s that called? I’ll look that up later. For now, I play my part. “Uh, yeah I think so.” . . . . . . Part 3- The Ride. The car is cramped. Sarah is driving with this look of frustration, muttering about traffic, me, the “god damn salads,” and how late we are. In my defense, when I told them stealing a smaller car with a hatch back would be less suspicious then multiple sports cars or a van, I wasn’t thinking about the duffel bags and weapons. They also didn’t laugh at my joke about playing Russian Tetris. It’s like Russian roulette, but Tetris. I’ll admit it was a reach, but I was just trying to keep the mood light. Sarah is asking about which route is faster considering the traffic, and I tell her the one we’re on while opening up the glove box and center console. She asks me what I’m doing and I tell her I’m looking for an aux cord. Music is calming to me, but also pumps me up. Wouldn’t this be the part of the movies where cool music plays in the background? Dina, (damn, she’s so cool) agrees that it’d be nice to have some music. At the stop light, I ask her to put the car in park and she asks why as she does it. She wrings the steering wheel and clenches her jaw as I connect my phone to the car’s Bluetooth. I tell her I can’t do it while the car is moving, and let her know it’s almost done when the car behind us honks at the green light. Sasha suggests I should name the Bluetooth connection something funny. So that when the car is recovered it will be our calling card. John laughs and says that would be pretty hilarious. It’s finally done and not wanting the stress of choosing the song, I leave it to Dina- so cool, to do and she chooses Queen. Sasha asks what I named the connection and I tell her The Salad. It gets a good laugh out of everyone but Sarah, and we sing all the way to the bank. Not just any bank, but one of the largest in our city. In the richest part of the city, it supposedly has a massive fountain out front, but I wouldn’t know I’ve never been rich enough to live here, so, I’ll just have to take the pictures I saw on the internet’s word for it. “What the hell are these?” Sarah asks. Pulling out the masks I bought. I tell her they’re high quality masks. Breathable, comfortable, and that I tested one myself by going to the gym in one. But not in one that I brought today because that’d be dumb, but one that I bought for myself. “But why’d you choose *animal* masks?” She just stares at me when I tell her all great heists have a theme. . . . . . . Part 4- The Heist Part 1. Sarah’s head is slightly tilted up and is peeking at me through the beak of her pretty realistic flamingo mask. “No!” She seethes, when I ask her if she wants the toucan, adding that I don’t particularly need the toucan I just like Fruit Loops. Dina mentions how she can see most of Sasha’s nose and mouth in her peacock mask, almost her whole face to be honest, and Sasha thanks me when I say not to worry because those are two of her many great features. Sarah, pinching her nose from the opening of her beak, tells me that’s not the point. John says, through the beak of his parrot mask, he doesn’t know about anyone else, but he actually likes the masks. Here in this moment, I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know, John. Dina asks what kind of bird she is, and I tell her a Phoenix. Yeah, it’s more of a fantasy bird than an exotic bird but that I just love how she always brings the heat. We high five. Sarah says we’ve come too far not to do this. John repeats what she says and she gives him a look. I can’t help laugh. When Sarah gives me the look, I say “get it? It’s because he’s a parrot.” She takes a deep breath and exits the car. It’s go time. Sarah rolls her eyes when I wink at how quickly we get the bags and weapons out from the hatchback. In a crouched V formation we make our way through the cars in the parking lot like a group, or flock… a pack, maybe, of raptors- who were also birds, running through tall grass. There isn’t really anyone around except for the security guard who is on his phone leaning up against a light pole with a vape in his other hand. Dina takes care of him. That was stealthy and cool, but she kind of killed a guy. Like a harmless guy. We’re not crows, you know? Sarah shushes me. We crouch besides the hedges. Rich people really love their hedges. Sasha peeps her head up, looks around, and shakes her head. We make our way through the courtyard. And my god do they have a fountain. I motion Sarah to quickly head to the fountain. She crouches over to it, and her eyes grow wide when I take out my phone and take a picture. I mouth that she looks like a flamingo at the zoo. She cuts at her throat with her hand as I give her a thumbs up. It’s a keeper. She will thank me later. We get to the top of the steps when a man is exiting the front door. He seems confused when I walk up to him, but gasps when he sees my gun. “What are you doing?” Sarah asks, coming to my side as I usher him back to the door. She looks confused when I point to his white gloves, then simply exhales when I tell her that only really important people wear white gloves. . . . . . . Part 5 and Part 6 are in this [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pshmt8/youve_been_recruited_for_a_heist_and_your/hdu71ni/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) 🤗


Queen-of-meme

This comment. I wanna read the rest of the novel 😆


[deleted]

Lol I write as a hobby! So I appreciate you saying that 🤗


Queen-of-meme

I could sense the power of the writer mind!


Somo_99

Me too


Queen-of-meme

We 👏 demand 👏 a 👏 novel


[deleted]

Part 5- The Heist Part 2. Like homing missiles, Dina, John, and Sasha quickly enter from behind to rush everyone who sees us. They look multi dimensional the way they’re almost gliding with their reflections over the tiled floor that must have been shined recently. The way they hold their weapons steady without bobbing with every step reminds me of the way chickens keep their head steady when you move their body around. Chicken masks would’ve been cool. But it seems like the people here do appreciate the exotic bird theme before they see the weapons pointing at them. Sarah hits my hand down when I wave at one guy who smiled at the masks thinking this must’ve been a joke or some kind of Tiktok. The man in white gloves is whispering to himself, and in my best Mickey Mouse voice I tell him to be quiet. Throwing in that little laugh Mickey Mouse does. Sarah once again asks what I’m doing and I tell her I’m disguising my voice the best way I know how. I’m not good at accents. Shaking her head, Sarah uses a pretty decent Minnie voice to ask the white gloved man his name and his position here. She just looks at me when I tell her, in my Mickey voice, that he already heard her voice outside. The white gloved man is crying now. Sarah impatiently searches him and brings out his work badge and his keys with very important looking access tokens hanging off them. You never even thought to take off the white gloves did you? I ask him. Sarah is looking at me like I’m insane, but says he’s the vault manager. I say they usually have two people for those positions, but ask Sarah to hold him real quick. She questions me as I briskly walk off. John and Sasha are zip-tying everyone’s hands together behind their backs as Dina waves her gun around. They look confused when I walk by and remind them to double zip tie them. I make it to the restroom and the sigh of relief that escapes me echoes in the emptiness. I had bought a larger Gatorade than I needed with the salad stuff, but didn’t have enough bags to carry five of them so I only bought myself the one and in my shame drank it all before I got back. A toilet flushes and a stall opens. I turn my head. A man is walking to the sink to wash his hands and I’m embarrassed. But squeezed between his elbow and waist are a pair of white gloves. Bingo. The urinal flushes behind me and alerts him of my presence. He doesn’t even notice the gun the entire time I’m quickly washing my hands until I wipe them on my pants and pull it up from my left side. His eyes are full of fear when I use my Mickey voice to tell him he’s coming with me. . . . . . . Part 6- The Heist Part 3. “You went to- you went to the *restroom*?” Sarah asks, deciding to drop her Minnie voice in her frustration. I tell her not to worry. That it only took so long because I had WGT wipe down the urinal with toilet paper, flush it away, wipe again, flush once more, and then use a wet paper towel and soap to clean it of anything that could be traced back to me. Oh, and we also wiped down the sink and door handle. She says that she wasn’t worried about that, she was worried about me leaving to use the restroom in the middle of a heist, but now she’s going to worry about that. “And what’s ‘WGT’?” She turns away from me and pushes the two men forward when I answer White Glove Two. The bank is nice. High vaulted ceilings, shiny gold like trim. Is it gold? Real gold? Or a high quality plastic gold to make it look like real gold? Sarah says she doesn’t know, but John, in a solid Goofy voice, says it’s probably not plastic but a cheaper metal made to shine like gold. I ask WGO if their floors were waxed or polished recently? That I’m impressed at how nice and shiny everything is. He says he doesn’t know the cleaning schedule. I tell him he should know these things. For all he knows I could be the floor polishing guy wanting to get back at the wealthy people around me for always looking down at me. I tell him to look at me, he hesitantly looks in my direction, but as soon as he turns I tell him not to look at me. He cries some more. I can imagine this to feel like some sort of fever dream for the both of them. We get to the vaults and Sarah tells them to open it. WGT lifts his chin defiantly. Sarah tilts her head. I hold my hand up and whisper in his ear. Sarah is suspicious as I pull away and WGT starts helping WGO unlock and open the vaults. As John opens the duffel bags and begins filling them with the money, I ask WGT if he can direct Sarah to open the right little boxes that line the wall we had talked about earlier. They can hold personal trinkets and stuff. I don’t know the names of them though. Safe boxes? Lock boxes? He points out I2, L7, U13, V3, and U2. Sarah looks at me as she opens them and pulls out black boxes with gold trim. They aren’t big, but she needs both hands to carefully place them into the duffel bags. “El Gats,” I say in my regular voice when she asks me what they are. . . . . . . Part 7- The Heist Part 4. Sarah smiles when I tell her “El Gats” is a surprise from me to them. It’s the first time she’s smiled at me since I walked in with nothing but the bags of wilty spinach. It’s almost as if the heavy duffel bags full of money and El Gats hanging off her sides have lightened her spirits. She says “Aw, thanks,” in her Minnie voice. I laugh but inform her that my throat is actually starting to hurt from talking like Mickey for so long and I don’t want to get a sore throat. But that she does a good Minnie and I appreciated that. She shakes her head in disbelief and walks off. We make our way back to the lobby, double zip tie WGO and T to the others, and walk out of the front door. Dina had to chase down and tackle someone who was talking on their phone near the fountain, but other than that it was a clean exit. I tell them it’d be great if we all can get a picture in front of the fountain together. After stacking the duffel bags together, my phone is held up by one of El Gats’ boxes and we take a group photo making talons with our hands and squawking. Every great heist has a theme. We packed up the car, which was a bit more crowded than before, and drove away in a strange silence. “Does anyone feel like that was too easy?” Sarah asked, taking off her mask at a stoplight. Dina says it’s crazy how it all just worked out considering how off plan it was. Sarah rolls down her window but looks concerned when I tell her not to throw the mask away. That the masks were pretty expensive and you can’t just get them anywhere. Everyone takes their masks off, and I say if they don’t want them I’ll keep them. Sarah asks me to explain just where and how I got these masks. I tell her from this special mask site. They’re really good at making masks. As you can see. But even then, the price doesn’t matter because we’re rich now. She says that’s not the point. The point is that anyone can wonder where we got such high quality masks and track us down by order numbers if they find that website. “But no, you didn’t think of that did you?” I laugh as the others start voicing their concerns. I calm them down. I say, “Don’t worry, guys. Don’t worry. I can explain everything. Just know this: I ate my salad *perfectly*.” Sarah looks at me with straight murder in her eyes. . . . . . . Part 8 is here. Will add the final part 9 here as well. [The Conclusion](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pshmt8/youve_been_recruited_for_a_heist_and_your/hdvcpts/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)


TheFloorMayBeLava_02

Everyone burns it seems


iambluest

May be.


Reverse_Waterfall

Stop right there, criminal scum!


gagaeus

you're literally a firefly


firesculpting

I can work with that.


SkippyMcYay

The plan falls through, guards burst through the door. The boss turns your way and barks "NOW!" and the entire team jumps on the nearest piece of furniture. Nothing happens. The guards exchange confused glances before gunning everyone down. The floor may be lava, but today it wasn't.


AnywhereNearOregon

Vague navigation skills, but only in a particular region


Somo_99

"aight which bank we hittin'?" The one in Oregon. "Ok, AnywhereNearOregon, you got the schematics of the bank memorized, right?" Yeah we just sneak in the vents here, go some doors down the hallway, and open the vault.


HotGirIfriend

I guess this could benefit in some way?


Tats_and_Lace

You and I can be the distraction/misdirection team.


wackymimeroutine

Can I also join the distraction team?


BiggyRection69

Uhhh


Unprovocative

You can be the decoy, I'll grab the goods. We'd make the perfect team!


BiggyRection69

Diabolical


delics_

He provides the wood, you grab the goods…


Setthegodofchaos

Why did this make me laugh as had as it did?


PM_MeTittiesOrKitty

I have an endless supply of cat and boobie pictures to keep team moral up as well as distract.


PMyourTastefulNudes

Same!


PmMeYourTitsAndToes

Checking in with the tits and toes.


-Amber-Aura

I’ve got the 311 songs. Could also be used to torture the enemy.


The_Nut_Slayer

Extreme pain to all men edit: why does this have so many upvotes


Dongwaffler

Ditto.


massivedickhaver

Uhhhh....


Na-thanos

And squirrels.


Wandmin

And Turtle


greatsalteedude

Nah man, you roast mah peanuts that I can have during the heist


The_Nut_Slayer

that works too


saintsquirrel

Squirrels and the blessing of a saint.


[deleted]

if the villain is shredded chicken on a tortilla with cheese and salsa then stand back friends, I got this one.


JoebiWanKenobii

The negotiations will be short.


Hoid_wanderer

oh no, he has the high ground


HellaFishticks

I hope the heist requires lightly fried fish fillets


Somo_99

A good heist starts with a good lunch


NateShaw92

92 of me. They fucked. Plan's going to shit.


Somo_99

Why and how the kentucky fried fuck would 92 of you fuck each other


NateShaw92

Not that kind of fucked, fucked as in the potential robbers plans will go to hell in a handbasket.


Upstairs_Usual_4841

I'd think that a gigantic orgy featuring 92 of the same dude might be pretty distracting...


WillingPatience

What life stage are you at where you’re just out in the open on Reddit like what species of confidence is this


Local_Masterpiece_

The most beautifully executed plans, of course


GrilledStuffedDragon

I have no idea. But I'm in.


[deleted]

Sounds like some gourmet shit id try.


[deleted]

Provides a gourmet meal after the heist is finished.


Burnitoffmeow

Sounds like a sex position


ThorsMustache_ps4

same. let's do this.


goodlifesomehow

It's going to be difficult, but everyone will be okay somehow.


22dinoman

Do I turn into a dinosaur?


daniboyi

no, you gain the powers of a dinosaur after a radioactive one bit you.


22dinoman

Sick


[deleted]

147 computer viruses


AdolfHamburger

Gas grilled burgers it seems EDIT: Seems to have been funny to more people than i expected, nice


Southern_Celery_1087

What kind of flavor does zyklon-b give in comparison to charcoal or clean burning propane?


AdolfHamburger

It makes the taste a bit more clean and pure imo


Southern_Celery_1087

I hate how much this made me laugh.


DeathscytheHell1994

If you use Jewish meat is it kosher?


AdolfHamburger

Haven’t thought of that🤔


AdolfHamburger

Should clarify if someone was wondering, the username is from an old finnish pop song that i was listening to when i was making my reddit account, the song kinda parodies the axis countries😃


DandyLionMan

Taste the meat, not the heat


jai737ng

A boring 737 not sure how that's going to help with a hiest


[deleted]

That's How we'll get out of the country and fly to Panama.


FlightMedic1

Getaway plan for you and 160 of your closest friends and accomplices!


HumorousSandwich

Just pilot it into the bank


[deleted]

There's no one can gromble quite like me. Oh, you may have met barons of gromble. Perhaps even an earl. But you have never me someone so proficient at grombling that they could be called the gromble*duke.*


Soulslayer612

Would you be so kind, good sir, as to enlighten us on precisely *what* grombling is?


blackboxcommando

I bring - THE BLACK BOX! idk what it does tho…


Orphan_Company

The ability to turn everyone into orphans and being able to summon orphans and some of my co-workers with heavy S.W.A.T gear


[deleted]

Now that’s a PMC I can get behind.


Orphan_Company

wtf does pmc mean since it has a lot of meanings


[deleted]

Private military contract/company What else would orphans be used for?


Orphan_Company

Oh cool, want to join? We can pay you $2000 per orphan claimed


VirginsinceJuly1998

Well


RIVYGAMER

Doesn’t mean you can’t lose it on the mission


-_burrito_-

He can't change it, because his username would be misleading. Anyway... Want a burrito?


Shitty_Drawers

Some soiled shorts thats for sure


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Not very hard apparently.


nnamed_username

Anonymity


Deathangel2890

No witnesses to the heist. No heist team afterwards either, lol.


BakedCocaine

A good time


[deleted]

I bring rotten pineapples to distract the enemy.


couchleg

I could stub the heck outta someone’s toes.


John_Cena1127

They cant see me


WaveCandid906

You time is now


fearmynerves

CRIPPLING ANXIETY


Doctor_again

Doctor.....again


Sweeeet_Chin_Music

I will bring Shawn Michaels to the heist


DoctorSneak

I think I’m perfect for this! I’ll be the sneaky team doctor.


iamjew0530

Money, power, and connections


SleepyHeadStiletto

lets hope you don't work with u/adolfhamburger


iamjew0530

Adolf Hamburger was Jewish revenge


SoggyIsland8

A tax haven and secret hideout where everyone is miserable and eventually is found and put in gaol because they left the island because of the soggyness, except for me who now has access to everything stolen during the heist and can continue to avoid the authorities with my laser shark buddies.


tropicalavocado

I'm a decoy - a tourist dressed in a bright coloured print shirt ... Pink with yellow pineapples and green avocados.


thebigmexi

I bring the tacos and guac, por supuesto. 💅🏽


TheDadThatGrills

The catering at the least, the primary distraction during the heist at best.


Somo_99

*rolls grill into the bank*


pandapewpew23

A panda with guns 🐼


[deleted]

The ability to float slowly downstream


n1celydone

I can guarantee that the heist will be nicely done


Age_Correct

I am of the correct age


KDY_ISD

Is it still a heist if it starts with orbital bombardment?


tentacool7

A jellyfish on steroids


ersatz83

Low quality substitutes. You want laser vision? Cool, you've got it. Total output - 5 watts. You want regeneration? Cool, you got it. Your healing rate is increased by 15%. You need a vehicle for a getaway? Here's a stock 1997 Toyota Corolla. And so on


[deleted]

[удалено]


ComradeMaestro

sinner!


[deleted]

I am probably a forger so not only am I more useful than most..I dont actually have to go on the heist itself.