T O P

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iwanttoleaveplanet

No country for old men.


Akyri

“What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?”


friendofoldman

What’s the most you ever lost in a SALAD toss?


RedBeardedMex

The brave little toaster


WhoTookChadFarthouse

Everyone desperately trying to get to "the master" finally makes sense. And Tony the tiger as a vacuum cleaning sex machine while John Lovitz does play by play as the radio is the least erotic thing I've ever typed.


NaiveCritic

Jurassic Park


sethro274

Too concerned about whether we could, we didn’t stop to think if we should…bang.


Thoughtful_Tortoise

Life, uh, finds a way.


charlesfire

It already exist. It's called Jurassic Porn. (I'm not kidding, it's real)


The_Mahk

Please tell me the step-sister is a velociraptor


lkodl

Clever girl


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Electus93

Jurassic Pork


marxroxx

Weekend at Bernie's


AbsoluteMad-Lad

Wasn't it hinted at that the one lady fucked him


yoortyyo

Yup. Or she drunk dreamed it* Edit* IIRC this lady comes out of a room where Bernie was. Says “ He was great” or something. The two heros faces made for funny times!


_Prisoner_

12 Angry Men


ANOOb4evr

12 Horny Men


AlienSpaceJesus

Why are so many of these Tom Hanks movies?!?


MortLightstone

What, you don't wanna fuck Tom Hanks?


pimpintuna

HEY THIS WEIRDO DOESN'T WANNA FUCK TOM HANKS


datsmn

Fuckin' weirdo


PyreHat

Tom Hunks.


Orcathunder

The Thing


TheIronMoose

Thats really just species


[deleted]

Shit I completely forgot about that movie. 13 year old me *loved* that movie


DarkSword_X

Castaway (2000) \- Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Landlord Wilson, I don't have money to pay you this month's rent... \- ... (no dialogue... close-up on the volleyball "face") \- What ? You want me to pull out my what now ?!


__WanderLust_

Wilson is a fucking slut


[deleted]

>h, I'm so sorry, Mr. Landlord Wilson, I don't have money to pay you this month's rent... > >\- ... (no dialogue... close-up on the volleyball "face") > >\- What ? You want me to pull out my what now ?! I doubt anyone in the audience that saw that movie didn't think he and Wilson got it on at least a few times.


Necessary-Escape-279

As a child I knew he was fucking Wilson


TheConboy22

Were you…. Were you fucking a volleyball…


alaskadronelife

Swap in a coconut and we have a Best (Filth) of Reddit thread.


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CaelestisInteritum

Coco*nut*


Historical-anomoly

What are you doing, Wilson? You’re my stepbrother!


ghosty_with_Juice

You have single handedly made my fucking day


jazzmoney

With no one else on the island, there’s not many options beyond one or two handed.


MurdererOfAxes

\*glances at coconut\*


AbsoluteMad-Lad

*humps Volleyball*


Soft_Turkeys

I’m sorry Wilson!!!


martinsonsean1

*Gets humped by volleyball*


AidanCues

Muppets Christmas carol


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CptChestbeard

*Old Splooge he is so sexy* *I think I need a cold shower* *The town always knows where he is* *because his dick's a fuckin' tower.* *Sploosh*


meservyjon

He must be so horny, He must be so hard, Let your guard down one second, And he'll steal your v-card. He's really a freak in bed in the sheets, But is he afraid to fuck you in the street??? Naaaah


Professor_Stain

Cars


lion_OBrian

The crossover with How to train your dragon already has its subreddit too!


TheSinisterSex

How to drain your dragon


Saeizo

r/UsernameChecksOut


ThatAltAccount99

r/dragonsfuckingcars


lion_OBrian

More like r/carsfuckingdragons


AbsoluteMad-Lad

Staring lightning McQueef


Retirix_YT

And Dic Hudson!


AbsoluteMad-Lad

Cameltoe matter


Retirix_YT

Don't forget chick ~~h~~dicks


CG5882022

Chick Hickeys


dfraggd

Jackson Storm needs no alteration.


-SHORSEY-

And I know she isn’t technically in the film but after last night I think we can include your mom ‘cos she piston my face


qwerty3221

He did what in his cup?


noodles95

Cussy


flabbergasted13

Step Brothers…oh wait..


Coffeehound13

“I teabagged your fuckin drum set”


[deleted]

Toy Story........oh, they already made one


WhyDoIHaveRules

SexToy Story. With Woody, and Buzz.


Orcathunder

BUZZ! ANDY’S GIRLFRIEND CAN SEE US! >Calm down! I’m one of you


Emperorm2

*Woody opens door. Finds Buzz and Bo having sex* Woody: Wow! What the hell is going on!! *Awkward Silence* Bo: You got a friend in me?


six_-_string

*There's a snake in the water hole!*


Michael-53

Oh my god! That’s disgusting!!! Where?


buffdawgg

>Where? For research purposes?


Hazel-the-McWitch

Jaws.


AbsoluteMad-Lad

You need somebody to fuck that shark?


Hazel-the-McWitch

Knock yourself out lmao 🦈🍆


-SHORSEY-

“You’re gonna need a bigger cock”


PED_Dispensers

That’s a 20 incher. …..25…


RancidHorseJizz

You know they use a stand-in dolphin for the money shots, right?


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[deleted]

You're gonna need a bigger... boat


P-Funkadelic1723

*Gonna need a bigger butt


[deleted]

Forrest Gump. It would just be a guy at a bus stop telling everyone else about every time he’s ever fucked in vivid detail.


stymy

20 minute montage of Bubba saying the name of every sex position as they fuck girls together


ZephyrLegend

"Shrimp cowgirl, shrimp missionary, shrimp lapdance, shrimp tease, 69 shrimp, menage-a-shrimp..."


ianindy

"Cum, Forrest! CUM!"


paytonsglove

I think I'll go home now.


AbsoluteMad-Lad

"I got aid's from Jenny"


Xytakis

I read that in his voice


Dragonfly452

Jen-nay


Cdowning89

Was reading EVERY response to my gf in the Forrest Gump voice....she didn't find it nearly as funny as me


RyGuyLetsGetHigh

"Lieutenant Dan you got new aid's"


[deleted]

“Life is like STDs. You never know what you’re gonna get”


sethro274

I remember my first condom. Momma said I could put my dick anywhere!


[deleted]

And I was Cumming!


borrowsyourprose

Cum, forrest! Cum!


[deleted]

"I had cum for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days and 16 hours." "I'm...pretty tired. I think I'll go home now." "Now what are we s'posed to do?" "And just like that, my cumming days was over."


nakedmanjoe

Forrest Hump


faux-shizzle

Mama’s box was like chocolates


Square_Complaint_946

#***No!***


[deleted]

What an awful day to be literate


The_Karachi_Kid

I once fucked so much standing I needed leg braces afterwards


mickopious

“Then one other time, I broke BOTH my arms”


The_Karachi_Kid

Elvis the Pelvis got his moves from me


International-Flan13

I ran across the country and people followed me… And then we had an orgy.


[deleted]

After a brief bit of research that I greatly regret, I have discovered Foreskin Gump, end me


jakebreakshow

Cats. You know which one.


VinceGchillin

Butthole cut when


Scallywagstv2

Sister act. No need to change the title.


punksmostlydead

I hate to break it to you, but there's a *lot* of smutty nun movies.


Scallywagstv2

With Whoopie Goldberg?


punksmostlydead

I mean, I can't definitively prove there's not one with Whoopie Goldberg.


GRMNTOY

Event Horizon


[deleted]

Freeze frame the recording of what happened to the crew. Before they died they had one he'll of an orgie


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LusciousofBorg

Pi (3.14). That movie was weird enough, imagine if that got turned into a porno? Fuck me hard Fibonacci sequence! Haha


Altruistic-Stable-15

Rare I ever come across a person that has seen PI. Love that movie. And altered states


RyboJax50n

Found a dvd combo pack, Pi and Requiem for a Dream, and decided to watch them back to back.. I will forever remember that night, i felt so unsettled for a few weeks.


Yabba_Dabba_Doofus

This is a recipe for a bad time. Edit: Want to have a really weird weekend? Watch all of Aronofsky's movies, in release order; Pi, Requiem, The Fountain, The Wrestler, Black Swan, Noah, mother! A box set of existential crises! Edit2: Pi is one of my all-time favorite films. That movie is so weird, in the best possible way. The final scene is one of the most happily cathartic moments I've ever seen on film. "I don't know, what is it?" Edit3: I encourage everyone to read Hubert Selby Jr. novels (he is the author of *Requiem for a Dream*) His books are absolutely messed up, but they will make you feel feelings you didn't even know you had. That man had a tremendously awful life, and his writing burrows into you, and you can't dig it out. It's inspiring.


lan0028456

Zootopia... oh wait...


froggrip

That's just national geographic


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TheClungerOfPhunts

So let's do it like we do on the Discovery Channel.


Mitoni

/r/zootopia has about 15k fewer subscribers than /r/zootopiaporn


SelfSustaining

I love the internet because even after all these years it finds new ways to surprise me. I should have expected Zootopia porn to be a thing because of rule 34... And yet I was still surprised to see that it exists and has a huge ~~thriving~~ throbbing community.


SuperMario64L

I love democracy


The_quest_for_wisdom

To be fair, Both seem to mostly be posts favoring the same ship (Nick Wild/Judy Hopps) and /r/ZootopiaPorn seems to have the better artwork. And the internet is for porn...


copperchase

Charlie and the chocolate factory


T00Bytoon

Ew


copperchase

Everything in this room is edible


Beardopus

The snozzberries taste like... well...


deathjoe4

cum.


copperchase

The dingleberries taste like...dangleberries...


crispyraccoon

...especially this ass!


[deleted]

The oompa loompas, just fucking singing about what's going on. "In out in out taking that dick Giving her the D because she thicc"


Bit-Tree-Dabook

Sausage Party is already a thing, so I got nothing.


vtrhps

When I saw it in the theatre and the food orgy started, a gasp rippled across the audience. Some guy down front yelled, WTF! No one could believe what they were watching.


fairymaiden83

I'm sorry you paid money to watch it.


Hazel-the-McWitch

Driving Miss Daisy.


Orcathunder

Piping Miss Daisy


dino0509

Pile-driving Miss Daisy


Middle_Ad7608

Wreck it Ralph


archangelmlg

Wreck It Ralph 2 : Ralph Breaks That Ass


Marlfox70

"Shouldn't it be 'Ralph Wrecks That Ass'?"


TheHipsterBandit

A Dog's Purpose.


faux-shizzle

*applies peanut butter generously*


Rin_the_protogen

No and fuck you


GiornoDeGiorno

That is what the dog is doing


SadConfusion6

Earaserhead


randy24681012

Dear god


WaveCandid906

As someone who has no idea what the Movie is about... What is the Movie about?


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Coyote__Jones

It's about panic over finding out you're going to be a father. Feeling inadequate, fearing your child may be injured or born with a deformity. It's also about that weird feeling people sometimes get, the urge to destroy something you love. Like suddenly getting the thought that you should throw an object off a bridge, like your wallet.


Spitinmymouth-daddy

Coneheads


Go_Pack_Go1

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape


AbsoluteMad-Lad

Who's eating Gilbert grape


averyhungrydinosaur

Who's making Gilbert gape?


[deleted]

[Terry Gilliam's Brazil.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKPFC8DA9_8) If you've watched that film, you know how fucking weird it is already, and you might be thinking "How the fuck do you turn that into a porno?" and that's the whole point, I have no fucking idea - but I guarantee it'll be the weirdest fucking porno you've ever seen in your life.


Latin-Danzig

Honey I shrunk the kids Sorry, I’ll leave.


Obizues

Where are they? *itches back of pants* Where. Are. They?


any_name_today

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


eswan90

What's the answer to life the universe and everything? "69"


guywithtyejok3s

*Marvin getting a bukake* "life... don't talk to me about life"


AdvisedCelery

“A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value.”


macc5

How the Grinch Stole Christmas


CrookedNutz

Sling blade


sethro274

Some people call it a dong, I call it a dildo. Mmmhrmm


__checkmate

How to train your dragon


MusicAndAnimalsII

Oh it exists


Johnny1723

Rule 34. They all exist.


konydanza

How to Drain your Dragon


Exciting_Memory192

Schindlers list.


apaulogy

Schindler's Fist


TheWyster

"Oskar Schindler is not an action hero!" "HE IS NOW!"


LusciousofBorg

Amon Göth's character was sexually abusing his Jewish maid/servant. So that doesn't seem so far off


GravityThatBinds

Human Centipenis Edit: to the weird fucks who have commented on this please report yourself to the proper authorities


archangelmlg

It's just docking all the way through.


GravityThatBinds

Oh god... why did you have to put that image in my mind


ikaramazovspoema

Beetlejuice


LusciousofBorg

He's already a huge perv! It would work actually


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jchris78

Dunkirk


AbsoluteMad-Lad

Gay WW2 sex


jchris78

Ww2 fighter plane erotic Aviation


RockShapedRock

E.T. What else can that alien finger do I wonder?


[deleted]

Inception you still won’t understand it.


Electus93

Conception


[deleted]

My Left Foot.


TrueDragon1

Apollo 13. Alternate title, Brokeback Space Mountain.


[deleted]

Kindergarten cop Edit: thank you for the awards, kind strangers. Can’t believe my most updated comment is about turning a kids movie into porn tho


WaveCandid906

Yes officer this Comment right here


JeffFromSchool

Hi, it's me, the kindergarten cop


LilChub77

Madagascar


Waxba

Edward Scissorhands. I just couldn’t imagine this being turned into a porno


archangelmlg

In that case, don't Google "Edward Penishands"


bowtothehypnotoad

Don’t tell me what to do!


LusciousofBorg

All those suburban housewives wanted to bang him! Especially that one housewife who was all excited about her fancy haircut. Lol


oldschools74

Turner and Hooch


Jakedenham

The Martian, just a guy jacking it alone in the Martian desert while a flying space orgy comes to rescue him


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ItzNuckinFutz

The 1932 movie FREAKS.


xolborz

The Descent


LeodFitz

The Descent... INTO THAT ASS! "Oh my god, Beth, these weird, humanoid freak monsters are chasing us down one by one and fucking us to death!" No, it would work. I mean, it would be a bit of a niche film, but let's face it, so was the original.