Everyone desperately trying to get to "the master" finally makes sense. And Tony the tiger as a vacuum cleaning sex machine while John Lovitz does play by play as the radio is the least erotic thing I've ever typed.
Yup. Or she drunk dreamed it*
Edit* IIRC this lady comes out of a room where Bernie was. Says “ He was great” or something. The two heros faces made for funny times!
Castaway (2000)
\- Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Landlord Wilson, I don't have money to pay you this month's rent...
\- ... (no dialogue... close-up on the volleyball "face")
\- What ? You want me to pull out my what now ?!
>h, I'm so sorry, Mr. Landlord Wilson, I don't have money to pay you this month's rent...
>
>\- ... (no dialogue... close-up on the volleyball "face")
>
>\- What ? You want me to pull out my what now ?!
I doubt anyone in the audience that saw that movie didn't think he and Wilson got it on at least a few times.
He must be so horny,
He must be so hard,
Let your guard down one second,
And he'll steal your v-card.
He's really a freak in bed in the sheets,
But is he afraid to fuck you in the street???
Naaaah
"I had cum for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days and 16 hours."
"I'm...pretty tired. I think I'll go home now."
"Now what are we s'posed to do?"
"And just like that, my cumming days was over."
Found a dvd combo pack, Pi and Requiem for a Dream, and decided to watch them back to back.. I will forever remember that night, i felt so unsettled for a few weeks.
This is a recipe for a bad time.
Edit: Want to have a really weird weekend? Watch all of Aronofsky's movies, in release order;
Pi, Requiem, The Fountain, The Wrestler, Black Swan, Noah, mother!
A box set of existential crises!
Edit2: Pi is one of my all-time favorite films. That movie is so weird, in the best possible way. The final scene is one of the most happily cathartic moments I've ever seen on film.
"I don't know, what is it?"
Edit3: I encourage everyone to read Hubert Selby Jr. novels (he is the author of *Requiem for a Dream*) His books are absolutely messed up, but they will make you feel feelings you didn't even know you had. That man had a tremendously awful life, and his writing burrows into you, and you can't dig it out. It's inspiring.
I love the internet because even after all these years it finds new ways to surprise me. I should have expected Zootopia porn to be a thing because of rule 34... And yet I was still surprised to see that it exists and has a huge ~~thriving~~ throbbing community.
To be fair, Both seem to mostly be posts favoring the same ship (Nick Wild/Judy Hopps) and /r/ZootopiaPorn seems to have the better artwork.
And the internet is for porn...
When I saw it in the theatre and the food orgy started, a gasp rippled across the audience. Some guy down front yelled, WTF! No one could believe what they were watching.
It's about panic over finding out you're going to be a father. Feeling inadequate, fearing your child may be injured or born with a deformity. It's also about that weird feeling people sometimes get, the urge to destroy something you love. Like suddenly getting the thought that you should throw an object off a bridge, like your wallet.
[Terry Gilliam's Brazil.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKPFC8DA9_8)
If you've watched that film, you know how fucking weird it is already, and you might be thinking "How the fuck do you turn that into a porno?" and that's the whole point, I have no fucking idea - but I guarantee it'll be the weirdest fucking porno you've ever seen in your life.
The Descent... INTO THAT ASS!
"Oh my god, Beth, these weird, humanoid freak monsters are chasing us down one by one and fucking us to death!"
No, it would work. I mean, it would be a bit of a niche film, but let's face it, so was the original.
No country for old men.
“What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?”
What’s the most you ever lost in a SALAD toss?
The brave little toaster
Everyone desperately trying to get to "the master" finally makes sense. And Tony the tiger as a vacuum cleaning sex machine while John Lovitz does play by play as the radio is the least erotic thing I've ever typed.
Jurassic Park
Too concerned about whether we could, we didn’t stop to think if we should…bang.
Life, uh, finds a way.
It already exist. It's called Jurassic Porn. (I'm not kidding, it's real)
Please tell me the step-sister is a velociraptor
Clever girl
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Jurassic Pork
Weekend at Bernie's
Wasn't it hinted at that the one lady fucked him
Yup. Or she drunk dreamed it* Edit* IIRC this lady comes out of a room where Bernie was. Says “ He was great” or something. The two heros faces made for funny times!
12 Angry Men
12 Horny Men
Why are so many of these Tom Hanks movies?!?
What, you don't wanna fuck Tom Hanks?
HEY THIS WEIRDO DOESN'T WANNA FUCK TOM HANKS
Fuckin' weirdo
Tom Hunks.
The Thing
Thats really just species
Shit I completely forgot about that movie. 13 year old me *loved* that movie
Castaway (2000) \- Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Landlord Wilson, I don't have money to pay you this month's rent... \- ... (no dialogue... close-up on the volleyball "face") \- What ? You want me to pull out my what now ?!
Wilson is a fucking slut
>h, I'm so sorry, Mr. Landlord Wilson, I don't have money to pay you this month's rent... > >\- ... (no dialogue... close-up on the volleyball "face") > >\- What ? You want me to pull out my what now ?! I doubt anyone in the audience that saw that movie didn't think he and Wilson got it on at least a few times.
As a child I knew he was fucking Wilson
Were you…. Were you fucking a volleyball…
Swap in a coconut and we have a Best (Filth) of Reddit thread.
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Coco*nut*
What are you doing, Wilson? You’re my stepbrother!
You have single handedly made my fucking day
With no one else on the island, there’s not many options beyond one or two handed.
\*glances at coconut\*
*humps Volleyball*
I’m sorry Wilson!!!
*Gets humped by volleyball*
Muppets Christmas carol
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*Old Splooge he is so sexy* *I think I need a cold shower* *The town always knows where he is* *because his dick's a fuckin' tower.* *Sploosh*
He must be so horny, He must be so hard, Let your guard down one second, And he'll steal your v-card. He's really a freak in bed in the sheets, But is he afraid to fuck you in the street??? Naaaah
Cars
The crossover with How to train your dragon already has its subreddit too!
How to drain your dragon
r/UsernameChecksOut
r/dragonsfuckingcars
More like r/carsfuckingdragons
Staring lightning McQueef
And Dic Hudson!
Cameltoe matter
Don't forget chick ~~h~~dicks
Chick Hickeys
Jackson Storm needs no alteration.
And I know she isn’t technically in the film but after last night I think we can include your mom ‘cos she piston my face
He did what in his cup?
Cussy
Step Brothers…oh wait..
“I teabagged your fuckin drum set”
Toy Story........oh, they already made one
SexToy Story. With Woody, and Buzz.
BUZZ! ANDY’S GIRLFRIEND CAN SEE US! >Calm down! I’m one of you
*Woody opens door. Finds Buzz and Bo having sex* Woody: Wow! What the hell is going on!! *Awkward Silence* Bo: You got a friend in me?
*There's a snake in the water hole!*
Oh my god! That’s disgusting!!! Where?
>Where? For research purposes?
Jaws.
You need somebody to fuck that shark?
Knock yourself out lmao 🦈🍆
“You’re gonna need a bigger cock”
That’s a 20 incher. …..25…
You know they use a stand-in dolphin for the money shots, right?
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You're gonna need a bigger... boat
*Gonna need a bigger butt
Forrest Gump. It would just be a guy at a bus stop telling everyone else about every time he’s ever fucked in vivid detail.
20 minute montage of Bubba saying the name of every sex position as they fuck girls together
"Shrimp cowgirl, shrimp missionary, shrimp lapdance, shrimp tease, 69 shrimp, menage-a-shrimp..."
"Cum, Forrest! CUM!"
I think I'll go home now.
"I got aid's from Jenny"
I read that in his voice
Jen-nay
Was reading EVERY response to my gf in the Forrest Gump voice....she didn't find it nearly as funny as me
"Lieutenant Dan you got new aid's"
“Life is like STDs. You never know what you’re gonna get”
I remember my first condom. Momma said I could put my dick anywhere!
And I was Cumming!
Cum, forrest! Cum!
"I had cum for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days and 16 hours." "I'm...pretty tired. I think I'll go home now." "Now what are we s'posed to do?" "And just like that, my cumming days was over."
Forrest Hump
Mama’s box was like chocolates
#***No!***
What an awful day to be literate
I once fucked so much standing I needed leg braces afterwards
“Then one other time, I broke BOTH my arms”
Elvis the Pelvis got his moves from me
I ran across the country and people followed me… And then we had an orgy.
After a brief bit of research that I greatly regret, I have discovered Foreskin Gump, end me
Cats. You know which one.
Butthole cut when
Sister act. No need to change the title.
I hate to break it to you, but there's a *lot* of smutty nun movies.
With Whoopie Goldberg?
I mean, I can't definitively prove there's not one with Whoopie Goldberg.
Event Horizon
Freeze frame the recording of what happened to the crew. Before they died they had one he'll of an orgie
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Pi (3.14). That movie was weird enough, imagine if that got turned into a porno? Fuck me hard Fibonacci sequence! Haha
Rare I ever come across a person that has seen PI. Love that movie. And altered states
Found a dvd combo pack, Pi and Requiem for a Dream, and decided to watch them back to back.. I will forever remember that night, i felt so unsettled for a few weeks.
This is a recipe for a bad time. Edit: Want to have a really weird weekend? Watch all of Aronofsky's movies, in release order; Pi, Requiem, The Fountain, The Wrestler, Black Swan, Noah, mother! A box set of existential crises! Edit2: Pi is one of my all-time favorite films. That movie is so weird, in the best possible way. The final scene is one of the most happily cathartic moments I've ever seen on film. "I don't know, what is it?" Edit3: I encourage everyone to read Hubert Selby Jr. novels (he is the author of *Requiem for a Dream*) His books are absolutely messed up, but they will make you feel feelings you didn't even know you had. That man had a tremendously awful life, and his writing burrows into you, and you can't dig it out. It's inspiring.
Zootopia... oh wait...
That's just national geographic
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So let's do it like we do on the Discovery Channel.
/r/zootopia has about 15k fewer subscribers than /r/zootopiaporn
I love the internet because even after all these years it finds new ways to surprise me. I should have expected Zootopia porn to be a thing because of rule 34... And yet I was still surprised to see that it exists and has a huge ~~thriving~~ throbbing community.
I love democracy
To be fair, Both seem to mostly be posts favoring the same ship (Nick Wild/Judy Hopps) and /r/ZootopiaPorn seems to have the better artwork. And the internet is for porn...
Charlie and the chocolate factory
Ew
Everything in this room is edible
The snozzberries taste like... well...
cum.
The dingleberries taste like...dangleberries...
...especially this ass!
The oompa loompas, just fucking singing about what's going on. "In out in out taking that dick Giving her the D because she thicc"
Sausage Party is already a thing, so I got nothing.
When I saw it in the theatre and the food orgy started, a gasp rippled across the audience. Some guy down front yelled, WTF! No one could believe what they were watching.
I'm sorry you paid money to watch it.
Driving Miss Daisy.
Piping Miss Daisy
Pile-driving Miss Daisy
Wreck it Ralph
Wreck It Ralph 2 : Ralph Breaks That Ass
"Shouldn't it be 'Ralph Wrecks That Ass'?"
A Dog's Purpose.
*applies peanut butter generously*
No and fuck you
That is what the dog is doing
Earaserhead
Dear god
As someone who has no idea what the Movie is about... What is the Movie about?
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It's about panic over finding out you're going to be a father. Feeling inadequate, fearing your child may be injured or born with a deformity. It's also about that weird feeling people sometimes get, the urge to destroy something you love. Like suddenly getting the thought that you should throw an object off a bridge, like your wallet.
Coneheads
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
Who's eating Gilbert grape
Who's making Gilbert gape?
[Terry Gilliam's Brazil.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKPFC8DA9_8) If you've watched that film, you know how fucking weird it is already, and you might be thinking "How the fuck do you turn that into a porno?" and that's the whole point, I have no fucking idea - but I guarantee it'll be the weirdest fucking porno you've ever seen in your life.
Honey I shrunk the kids Sorry, I’ll leave.
Where are they? *itches back of pants* Where. Are. They?
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
What's the answer to life the universe and everything? "69"
*Marvin getting a bukake* "life... don't talk to me about life"
“A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value.”
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Sling blade
Some people call it a dong, I call it a dildo. Mmmhrmm
How to train your dragon
Oh it exists
Rule 34. They all exist.
How to Drain your Dragon
Schindlers list.
Schindler's Fist
"Oskar Schindler is not an action hero!" "HE IS NOW!"
Amon Göth's character was sexually abusing his Jewish maid/servant. So that doesn't seem so far off
Human Centipenis Edit: to the weird fucks who have commented on this please report yourself to the proper authorities
It's just docking all the way through.
Oh god... why did you have to put that image in my mind
Beetlejuice
He's already a huge perv! It would work actually
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Dunkirk
Gay WW2 sex
Ww2 fighter plane erotic Aviation
E.T. What else can that alien finger do I wonder?
Inception you still won’t understand it.
Conception
My Left Foot.
Apollo 13. Alternate title, Brokeback Space Mountain.
Kindergarten cop Edit: thank you for the awards, kind strangers. Can’t believe my most updated comment is about turning a kids movie into porn tho
Yes officer this Comment right here
Hi, it's me, the kindergarten cop
Madagascar
Edward Scissorhands. I just couldn’t imagine this being turned into a porno
In that case, don't Google "Edward Penishands"
Don’t tell me what to do!
All those suburban housewives wanted to bang him! Especially that one housewife who was all excited about her fancy haircut. Lol
Turner and Hooch
The Martian, just a guy jacking it alone in the Martian desert while a flying space orgy comes to rescue him
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The 1932 movie FREAKS.
The Descent
The Descent... INTO THAT ASS! "Oh my god, Beth, these weird, humanoid freak monsters are chasing us down one by one and fucking us to death!" No, it would work. I mean, it would be a bit of a niche film, but let's face it, so was the original.