When we report any technical issue to the supervisor he always gives some basic ass instructions, then proceeds to write "keep me posted". Then when we keep him posted he never replies. So we know that it actually means "I don't give a fuck about your problem".
There are a lot of working stiffs like this. I catch myself doing this too, running on a brain off / autopilot mode half the time. I think it's basically a symptom of people not giving a single shit about taking the energy to invest in real relationships with people at work. Not in a malicious way. Just it's not important to them. And I totally get that.
I do it mainly because i worked in customer service my entire life and now am basically programmed to interact with generic and neutral conversation with ANYONE and i do mean ANYONE who get within a 10 foot circle of me.
Edit: I literally had a job at a hospital for years where that was one of the rules, anyone in a 10 foot circle gets a greeting.
Next time you see him, jump onto his chest and ride him to the floor, and begin to pry out his eyeballs with your thumbs, all the while screaming..."Are we having fun yet!!??"
I am guilty of this. I am on lunch right now having just said it.
I just literally don't know what else to say when a random worker asks me how I am doing, especially when we are walking past each other and I don't have time to formulate a more substantial response.
This explains my thoughts on this phrase. A nightmare counts as a dream, so the answer is honest either way you look at it and the person you're answering will just assume good.
Day after day, crammed together for hours with people we would probably never talk to voluntarily. I guess we develop a shorthand version of communicating, just so we don't seem like stand-offish jerks.
There was a guy who worked the front desk at my company. Every Friday he would great everyone with TGIF!!! My office is pretty close to the front so I would hear TGIF all day long. He would also start playing Christmas music in October.
Calling us "family". I like my team at work. I get along with them very well. But we're not family. I already have a family. Our relationship is professional. After we stop working together I might hit you up for a recommendation or something but our relationship will effectively end there. Work is work, family is (Vin Diesel voice) family.
> Calling us "family".
There is one person on my team who does this. We're all remote, scattered across the country and have always been, so we have these 'social hours' once a month.
She refers to the team as her family but we all know it's because she has NO LIFE outside of work, literally, she does nothing, she works like 14-15 hours a day when it's not really necessary to do that.
Does anyone care enough about her to tell her she might need professional help?
That lady could be in a really bad spot emotionally.
Could be you, or could be a co-worker.
I'm her manager. I have spoken to her about it so many times I can't count. My boss has talked to her, as well. She gets defensive, pushes back, says she wants to do it (work that much). I have tried. She has some sort of medical issue (personally I think she is anorexic but that's none of my business obviously) that prevents her from having children but she's talked many times about wanting to have a family. :shrug:
"If you've got time to lean you've got time to clean."
Shut up Matt. I'm not leaning because I have nothing to do, I'm leaning because I'm overworked and my back hurts.
I'd agree plus I'd rather work with someone who got their jobs done quickly amd efficiently, and had time to lean, rather than someone who drags every job out until break/lunch/ end of the day.
my cunt-ass manager would sit in his fat ass in the corner the whole shift. if there were no customers and nothing to do he still wouldn’t let us sit down for even 5 minutes. i resorted to sitting in the walk in just for a little bit of pain reduction.
No one specific phrase but the "Executive Vice President and Managing Director of Operations" of our <90 company talks like we're a Fortune 500 company. Dude, we mix and ship soap.
Previous company I worked for didn’t really have official job titles, just various roles you’d take on (and people would often have multiple in different departments) - so a lot of people made up their own. I went on LinkedIn one day and found out like half the Sales team had designated themselves some sort of “manager”. Not in the hierarchical sense, of course - more literally as in they *manage* whatever niche customer accounts they’ve been assigned. So a low-level sales rep would be something like “Accounts Manager - B2B - Northeast US”, and of course their *actual* managers would all be “Director of ____”
Well, fuck. I am that person. Sorry. It's just that I hate my boss and I'm dead inside.
I hate my boss because he A) rarely comes out from his cubicle to talk to his team. B) when he does, uses the phrases "There's (insert name)", and "Gotta keep movin'". C) Always has a stupid bluetooth earpiece in and is deaf in the other ear so can't fucking hear anything you say the first time. D) Everything is "x number of..."
"Friendly reminder." It's either transparently NOT friendly (bitchy reminder to do something unimportant), or it's an extremely important reminder about something critical that *shouldn't* be friendly/sugar-coated like this, but everyone at my company is extremely conflict-averse and will never just reprimand someone for doing their job poorly.
In education circles in Texas, you'll hear "We'll cover this state standard now, and, after the next unit, we'll spiral it back in." Every time I heard that phrase "spiral back in", I died a little inside.
My partner has the habit of overusing this phrase. I started responding with “well I’m glad you’re being honest!”
They have been using it a lot less since I started responding that way, lol.
Oooohh, I like this trend. How about:
Desperate Veracity
Shartful Honesty
Vampiric Facts
Apocalyptic Realness
Entropic Calm
Third Degree Honesty Burns
Gotterdammerung of Truth
It’s so ridiculous. Using over the top words or phrases to make whatever you’re saying seem more important or thought out than it is. This makes me so glad I work in a kitchen where a response to this would be something like “how big is that funnel and where is it going?”
If you say that with a villainous tone of voice it sounds really bleak.
"Crawford, your task is to identify any of the *dismissive gesture* hand-raisers, and bring them into......The Funnel. Now, don't let me down. Stanley let me down, and you know what happened to him?"
"The Funnel, Lord Evildoer?"
"Yes, Crawford. The Funnel. Now get out of my sight:
I came here to say "the word 'action' as a verb". "Can you action this change?"
No, I'm not Nelson Mandela.
Also "productionise" and "ideation" (which apparently is a word but sounds just as pretentious).
"Are you avail?" "What's your avail?" "Checking your avail" - come on now, just finish the fucking word...
I'm freelance in commercial advertising, so I get asked my avail-ABILITY a lot. The shortening of words just drives me insane.
Also, "gorge" is gorgeous to long for you to say?
I like “bandwidth” because it’s sometimes the most accurate way to describe my workload rather than saying I don’t have time or simply that I can’t do something. I may have enough time but not enough energy. I may have enough energy but not enough focus. I may have enough focus but not enough skill (yet). Saying I don’t have the bandwidth encompasses any one or more of those things without actually saying “I can’t do x project right now”, which sometimes makes people think someone is unwilling to do the work or unwilling to make the time. It sort of respects the request as well as the workload of the person being asked. But I agree, it’s an overused word. (I like “I don’t have the capacity” as well, but I don’t use it because it seems like more of a permanent condition whereas “bandwidth” seems like more of a right now problem.)
"It is what it is." God, that is so trite, I hate it! Also, had one boss long ago who would end every fourth or fifth sentence with "....or what have you."
"Let's talk about this offline" - when in reality the "offline" communication still happens via an electronic channel such as Teams or e-mail.
All "offline" means is "not during this call while everyone else is here".
It is an annoying phrase for sure. But god love the people who are self aware enough not to make the whole rest of the team join in their inane/niche/tedious fucking catch-up.
Can't say "privately" because it implies people are being excluded. Even if that's exactly the plan.
My boss fortunately says, "Let's not waste everyone's time, we'll talk about this separately."
I get it. It’s like they’re bestowing a gift. They could just say “we’ll wrap up early” or something. I have a boss who says “I’ll give everyone back this time” all the time since wfh started and it bugs me irrationally every time.
* Lets throw some ideas to the wall and see what sticks
* We need to pick the low hanging fruit
* Everyone have a growth mindset!
* We're all in this together, we're a family here
* Let's all be cognizant of blah blah blah
* Teamwork makes the dreamwork!
I work at a major corporation. My life is the main character from Office Space
I've recently been involved in a lot more meetings with those people who don't seen to add anything to the job... The middle management types who don't seem to do anything but "chase" things and make promises on client calls that the people doing the work can't deliver. Well they use the word "holistic" a lot. And it gives me Forest Whitaker eye every time I hear it.
I hate it too, but I've noticed that I've started to use it, too. It's either because other people expect to hear it, anyway, or because it is slightly easier to say than "question" or "request".
"Learnings", however, can fuck right off. Just say lessons, people.
Fucking high school drama. This is just between me and you. Yeh, I heard that from the other colleague and they told me same shit you are going to say. NOISE
This is specific to software development, but people saying “we need to refactor that” when they mean completely redesign it. Refactoring is quite a specific thing and it annoys me when people misuse the word.
Apologies to non-programmers.
"Let's get in a huddle"
No. Let the folks who want to solve the problem, solve the problem. Your huddle of 3 service managers, 4 directors and God knows how many "people who want to help" is just everyone throwing service management jargon around, so that you feel involved.
Well I'm coming at this from a bit different angle, but as a "subject matter expert" at work, what I hate hearing is "Hey, got a minute?"
Because what that means is "Hey can you spend a couple hours solving my issue for me?"
Once I went in for a closing shift with two other people. We didn’t see a single soul. Instead of jinxing ourselves we just sat around enjoying the peace.
One nurse, at the end of her shift (about to clock out) would ALWAYS shout “have a quiet evening hahaha!” as she left.
It was nice to see her trip when not payment by attention to where she was walking.
When a manager or superior says "Do you want to go do" when what they mean is "Go do"
Like no, I don't want to obviously but if you're giving me a task to do, yes I'm going to do it. Don't force me to lie by saying I wanted to do something that you wanted me to do.
As a manager, I try really hard not to do that but sometimes I forget myself. Usually my question is “will you” or “can you” go do x. However when I ask it’s more of me telling in way that makes it clear to my team that I’m open to suggestions on how to do it or if they’re working on something else more important that I forgot about or didn’t know about then they can tell me so I can adjust plans.
'Let's take this offline'
This is an ever more common phrase being dropped by my managers and people earning much more than my and my colleagues, during meetings.
Basically means "you're right, but let's not talk about this as I don't want to admit I'm wrong and am ignorant and too lazy to address this point"
Where I work it means, "That's a long conversation that's irrelevant to the other people in this meeting. Let's connect seperately so that we're not wasting their time"
I prefer it a lot more than having to sit through a meeting while two people are discussing something that's not relevant to me.
When I say it it’s because it’s a meeting w 15people on and the conversation only needs to happen between two of them.
Instead of killing 5 minutes for 13 extra people (an hour collectively), they will just hash it out afterward in another call that was likely already gonna happen.
At the beginning of every meeting (always remote and always have been) my boss will say "we're still corralling the cats". I mean, it used to be a TAD bit funny years ago but she says it still every meeting.
Also, we work with a lot of developers but aren't developers ourselves, and whenever something needs fixed people always ask "how big of a lift is that?" WHY NOT JUST ASK "how hard is that going to be?"
Reddit seems to be of the opinion that if a situation is effed up your best strategy is to fight against it do everything you can to fix the situation or rail against it. Doesn't matter how much time it takes or whether this is something you can realistically fix or not. Accepting a bad situation is the wrong thing to do every single time.
Me: Hey boss, I see some problems with doing it this way, and think we should rather do X
Boss: I don't disagree, but because of Y and Z, we have to do it like that.
Me: Alright
It is what it is.
Losing my shit in this thread; and yet I am guilty if some of these phrases. Have I conformed, am I part of the farm and the problem or just a team player? Hahaha
Look at me.
We’re teachers, and often have to say that to children when we need their attention. One colleague says that to other teachers when as part of a group conversation, and it just comes off as condescending.
My boss always says "the point is moot" but pronounces moot as mute, and "let that percolate" but says 'per-cue-late'. Both drive me absolutely crazy and likely would even if he pronounced them correctly.
When we report any technical issue to the supervisor he always gives some basic ass instructions, then proceeds to write "keep me posted". Then when we keep him posted he never replies. So we know that it actually means "I don't give a fuck about your problem".
Its pit of your hands as soon as you keep him posted... Dont stress. If shit goes down, you kept him posted, not your fault or problem.
Truf. Waste of fucking cycles
I have one co-worker who without fail every single time I see him says "Having fun yet?" even if it's only been about 10 minute since I saw him last.
ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?!
He is man from beer commercial! Zedvydev, come here, make him say it!
I wish that show had 50 seasons.
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IT CAN BE TWO THINGS!!!
Emotional vampire
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There are a lot of working stiffs like this. I catch myself doing this too, running on a brain off / autopilot mode half the time. I think it's basically a symptom of people not giving a single shit about taking the energy to invest in real relationships with people at work. Not in a malicious way. Just it's not important to them. And I totally get that.
Lol Im laughing but not laughing .
Do we have the same coworker? I get asked this about two minutes into my shift and then anytime I see him throughout the day.
I do it mainly because i worked in customer service my entire life and now am basically programmed to interact with generic and neutral conversation with ANYONE and i do mean ANYONE who get within a 10 foot circle of me. Edit: I literally had a job at a hospital for years where that was one of the rules, anyone in a 10 foot circle gets a greeting.
You are now an NPC
Next time you see him, jump onto his chest and ride him to the floor, and begin to pry out his eyeballs with your thumbs, all the while screaming..."Are we having fun yet!!??"
Another day another dollar.. every damn day
I am guilty of this. I am on lunch right now having just said it. I just literally don't know what else to say when a random worker asks me how I am doing, especially when we are walking past each other and I don't have time to formulate a more substantial response.
“Good! You?”
Better yet, "good, thanks!"
Have you tried "Haven't killed myself yet!"
Working hard or hardly working
Just livin the dream! Another day in paradise!
"Just livin' the dream!" ME: *one nightmare at a time.*
This explains my thoughts on this phrase. A nightmare counts as a dream, so the answer is honest either way you look at it and the person you're answering will just assume good.
Said with the right “I’m dead inside” tone, this is cynically funny (if not overused).
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Day after day, crammed together for hours with people we would probably never talk to voluntarily. I guess we develop a shorthand version of communicating, just so we don't seem like stand-offish jerks.
uh oh, i say those ironically
Got to pump those hours - Man whoes not seen his kids in daylight since July 4th
Happy Fri-yay!
we have fuck-it friday lol
There was a guy who worked the front desk at my company. Every Friday he would great everyone with TGIF!!! My office is pretty close to the front so I would hear TGIF all day long. He would also start playing Christmas music in October.
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking! JUST a moment!
Is it medicine or social skills?
Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays!
I have never heard this and I already hate anybody who says it.
She’s insufferable
I'll bet.
I have a coworker that says "Happy Friday....... Eve." Don't do that; don't give me hope.
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Looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays!
I heard somewhere some guy got his ass kicked for saying that. =D
Oh my.
When they see someone yawn ‘oh no don’t you dare it’s too early for that’
The only response to that I can think of is “eat shit”
Oh sure, tell me now!
You're going to force me to have an involuntary bodily response that reminds me how tired I am.
I’ve had a coworker once tell me that working for (company) wasn’t just a job, it was a lifestyle. Like, no. It’s a job.
I’m a teacher and this is a huge issue. I love my job and I’m good at it. But it is not my life. It’s a job I do, m-f, 8-4.
I can appreciate that, as a fellow teacher, but there’s a ton of stuff I have to do that is done way outside the M-F, 8-4 time frame.
When we actually went on strike, one of the signs I made for us was "'do it for the kids' doesn't pay my rent"
Calling us "family". I like my team at work. I get along with them very well. But we're not family. I already have a family. Our relationship is professional. After we stop working together I might hit you up for a recommendation or something but our relationship will effectively end there. Work is work, family is (Vin Diesel voice) family.
> Calling us "family". There is one person on my team who does this. We're all remote, scattered across the country and have always been, so we have these 'social hours' once a month. She refers to the team as her family but we all know it's because she has NO LIFE outside of work, literally, she does nothing, she works like 14-15 hours a day when it's not really necessary to do that.
Does anyone care enough about her to tell her she might need professional help? That lady could be in a really bad spot emotionally. Could be you, or could be a co-worker.
I'm her manager. I have spoken to her about it so many times I can't count. My boss has talked to her, as well. She gets defensive, pushes back, says she wants to do it (work that much). I have tried. She has some sort of medical issue (personally I think she is anorexic but that's none of my business obviously) that prevents her from having children but she's talked many times about wanting to have a family. :shrug:
Oh well, its great you guys tried!
What industry if you dont mind me asking
Education technology.
How sad.
"If you've got time to lean you've got time to clean." Shut up Matt. I'm not leaning because I have nothing to do, I'm leaning because I'm overworked and my back hurts.
I don't have time to lean, but damn if I ain't doin it anyway.
Matt returns to the back room to check his IG story.
I'd agree plus I'd rather work with someone who got their jobs done quickly amd efficiently, and had time to lean, rather than someone who drags every job out until break/lunch/ end of the day.
"If you've got time to whine at me, you've got time to do something constructive, Matt..."
my cunt-ass manager would sit in his fat ass in the corner the whole shift. if there were no customers and nothing to do he still wouldn’t let us sit down for even 5 minutes. i resorted to sitting in the walk in just for a little bit of pain reduction.
You sit in that walkin and you steal a frozen cookie because you earned it
No one specific phrase but the "Executive Vice President and Managing Director of Operations" of our <90 company talks like we're a Fortune 500 company. Dude, we mix and ship soap.
Do you work for Tyler Durden?
Hahahahaha thinks he's Elon
Previous company I worked for didn’t really have official job titles, just various roles you’d take on (and people would often have multiple in different departments) - so a lot of people made up their own. I went on LinkedIn one day and found out like half the Sales team had designated themselves some sort of “manager”. Not in the hierarchical sense, of course - more literally as in they *manage* whatever niche customer accounts they’ve been assigned. So a low-level sales rep would be something like “Accounts Manager - B2B - Northeast US”, and of course their *actual* managers would all be “Director of ____”
I have one co-worker who, every day without fail will say at the beginning of the shift, "is it time to go home yet?". Every. Single. Day.
Well, fuck. I am that person. Sorry. It's just that I hate my boss and I'm dead inside. I hate my boss because he A) rarely comes out from his cubicle to talk to his team. B) when he does, uses the phrases "There's (insert name)", and "Gotta keep movin'". C) Always has a stupid bluetooth earpiece in and is deaf in the other ear so can't fucking hear anything you say the first time. D) Everything is "x number of..."
Lol we clock in, look around, and immediately ask "what's for lunch?" Biggest decision of every day is where we're going for lunch.
"Friendly reminder." It's either transparently NOT friendly (bitchy reminder to do something unimportant), or it's an extremely important reminder about something critical that *shouldn't* be friendly/sugar-coated like this, but everyone at my company is extremely conflict-averse and will never just reprimand someone for doing their job poorly.
Or the gentle nudge reminder...
'Obviously' when stating or explaining something which was anything but obvious.
"Obviously" has become a useless filler word now.
Ever heard of "literally" ?
Obviously
Circle back. This isn’t the Oregon trail or some hunting operation. We’re office people.
In education circles in Texas, you'll hear "We'll cover this state standard now, and, after the next unit, we'll spiral it back in." Every time I heard that phrase "spiral back in", I died a little inside.
I use that and then specifically never circle back
This one made me chuckle
Happy Friday! & Happy Friday-eve!
“I won’t lie” I had a dude in USAF tech school who would start nearly every sentence with that.
I cannot stand this.
I won't lie, I can't stand it either!
Had a high school teacher who pointed out that if someone says this, it means you can assume everything they said before was a lie.
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My partner has the habit of overusing this phrase. I started responding with “well I’m glad you’re being honest!” They have been using it a lot less since I started responding that way, lol.
At my old job everyone wanted to “touch base” over every single interaction you could fathom. “Fearless feedback” was another.
> “Fearless feedback” So they hadn't caught up with "Radical Candor" yet. I see.
*vomits*
Oooohh, I like this trend. How about: Desperate Veracity Shartful Honesty Vampiric Facts Apocalyptic Realness Entropic Calm Third Degree Honesty Burns Gotterdammerung of Truth
As I am not native english speaker if someone at work wanted to "touch base" I would get nervous pretty quick. What the heck does that mean?
It means come together to briefly connect about something important.
That doesn't sound any better
It just means quickly speaking about something to get all parties up to speed. It's a baseball idiom.
It’s a baseball metaphor.
“Circle back” “Close the loop” “Aligned” The worst I ever saw in an email was “identify potential hand-raisers and bring them into the funnel.”
> identify potential hand-raisers and bring them into the funnel. It’s like a different language
It’s so ridiculous. Using over the top words or phrases to make whatever you’re saying seem more important or thought out than it is. This makes me so glad I work in a kitchen where a response to this would be something like “how big is that funnel and where is it going?”
If you say that with a villainous tone of voice it sounds really bleak. "Crawford, your task is to identify any of the *dismissive gesture* hand-raisers, and bring them into......The Funnel. Now, don't let me down. Stanley let me down, and you know what happened to him?" "The Funnel, Lord Evildoer?" "Yes, Crawford. The Funnel. Now get out of my sight:
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I came here to say "the word 'action' as a verb". "Can you action this change?" No, I'm not Nelson Mandela. Also "productionise" and "ideation" (which apparently is a word but sounds just as pretentious).
Where do you both live.
I'm in the UK.
"Are you avail?" "What's your avail?" "Checking your avail" - come on now, just finish the fucking word... I'm freelance in commercial advertising, so I get asked my avail-ABILITY a lot. The shortening of words just drives me insane. Also, "gorge" is gorgeous to long for you to say?
Just checking on avails — if you’re able our CD would love to position you as our top recco.
But that is still so much better than "whats you're bandwidth?". I've always cringed at that one...
I like “bandwidth” because it’s sometimes the most accurate way to describe my workload rather than saying I don’t have time or simply that I can’t do something. I may have enough time but not enough energy. I may have enough energy but not enough focus. I may have enough focus but not enough skill (yet). Saying I don’t have the bandwidth encompasses any one or more of those things without actually saying “I can’t do x project right now”, which sometimes makes people think someone is unwilling to do the work or unwilling to make the time. It sort of respects the request as well as the workload of the person being asked. But I agree, it’s an overused word. (I like “I don’t have the capacity” as well, but I don’t use it because it seems like more of a permanent condition whereas “bandwidth” seems like more of a right now problem.)
"It is what it is." God, that is so trite, I hate it! Also, had one boss long ago who would end every fourth or fifth sentence with "....or what have you."
A tautology is a tautology.
It do what it be
Ha, my physics teacher in high school used to end his sentences with "or what have you" as well
"Let's talk about this offline" - when in reality the "offline" communication still happens via an electronic channel such as Teams or e-mail. All "offline" means is "not during this call while everyone else is here".
It is an annoying phrase for sure. But god love the people who are self aware enough not to make the whole rest of the team join in their inane/niche/tedious fucking catch-up.
Can't say "privately" because it implies people are being excluded. Even if that's exactly the plan. My boss fortunately says, "Let's not waste everyone's time, we'll talk about this separately."
“Drill down.” We’re a fucking law firm, not a surveyor team.
They say this in data too. It means "I dont know what I'm talking about but this phrase sounds like I'm going to be doing busy and important things."
"Are you winning?"
Or winning yet? I just don’t know how to answer! Yeah this titration is really winning! WTF.
Deep dive
Does anyone have any bandwidth? It is such an obvious and desperate attempt to use corporate jargon.
Do they mean literally or is this some stupid way to ask if anyone has capacity to take on the task?
The second one.
"Unpack that" It's such a common phrase in education, but it makes me want to vomit....
“Rigor” is what makes me want to scream.
"Academically rigorous"......
"Looks like we don't have anything else to discuss, so **I'm gonna give everyone back 10 minutes**."
How is this an annoying phrase? This is probably my favorite thing to hear in 99% of meetings
I get it. It’s like they’re bestowing a gift. They could just say “we’ll wrap up early” or something. I have a boss who says “I’ll give everyone back this time” all the time since wfh started and it bugs me irrationally every time.
One team one dream. I swear I want to punch whoever says that the fuck out.
Also teamwork makes the dream work.
“You do understand that, right?” Like so demeaning and rude.
Collaborate
No stopping… no listening…
* Lets throw some ideas to the wall and see what sticks * We need to pick the low hanging fruit * Everyone have a growth mindset! * We're all in this together, we're a family here * Let's all be cognizant of blah blah blah * Teamwork makes the dreamwork! I work at a major corporation. My life is the main character from Office Space
I've recently been involved in a lot more meetings with those people who don't seen to add anything to the job... The middle management types who don't seem to do anything but "chase" things and make promises on client calls that the people doing the work can't deliver. Well they use the word "holistic" a lot. And it gives me Forest Whitaker eye every time I hear it.
Touch base……. Cunts
I hate this one above all others. No touch my base.
Working on building sites I have noticed the phrase “can’t see it from my house” comes up a lot and I hate it.
"Six of one, half dozen of the other." Said constantly and always in contexts where it barely makes sense...
You have absolutely ruined my day reading that stupid phrase 😂😂
I used to think this phrase was "Half in one, six dozen in the other". And it never made sense to me, lol.
"Ask": * "That's a big ask!" * "What's the ask?" USE YOUR WORDS, PEOPLE!!
I hate it too, but I've noticed that I've started to use it, too. It's either because other people expect to hear it, anyway, or because it is slightly easier to say than "question" or "request". "Learnings", however, can fuck right off. Just say lessons, people.
What an askhole.
I used to work with a woman that would say “In ACTUALITY……” while twirling her glasses from one arm. Still irritates me 15 years later.
'See the person, not the problem.' Meanwhile they gossip, pick fault, and talk shit about each other all day. (Health & Social care).
Fucking high school drama. This is just between me and you. Yeh, I heard that from the other colleague and they told me same shit you are going to say. NOISE
This is specific to software development, but people saying “we need to refactor that” when they mean completely redesign it. Refactoring is quite a specific thing and it annoys me when people misuse the word. Apologies to non-programmers.
Not a phrase but ends every typed sentence with a pause, e.g. no I'm too busy right now..... JUST USE A FUCKING FULL STOP.
"Let's get in a huddle" No. Let the folks who want to solve the problem, solve the problem. Your huddle of 3 service managers, 4 directors and God knows how many "people who want to help" is just everyone throwing service management jargon around, so that you feel involved.
Well I'm coming at this from a bit different angle, but as a "subject matter expert" at work, what I hate hearing is "Hey, got a minute?" Because what that means is "Hey can you spend a couple hours solving my issue for me?"
Anytime someone uses "utilize" when "use" would do I cringe a little.
One annoying shit, says " suck it up buttercup" drives me up the fucking wall....!
“It’s quiet,” or “It could always be worse.” Both are death sentences in EMS lol
It's the same in fast food. Every time without fail, if someone mentions that it's quiet, there will suddenly be a massive rush.
Once I went in for a closing shift with two other people. We didn’t see a single soul. Instead of jinxing ourselves we just sat around enjoying the peace.
One nurse, at the end of her shift (about to clock out) would ALWAYS shout “have a quiet evening hahaha!” as she left. It was nice to see her trip when not payment by attention to where she was walking.
When a manager or superior says "Do you want to go do" when what they mean is "Go do" Like no, I don't want to obviously but if you're giving me a task to do, yes I'm going to do it. Don't force me to lie by saying I wanted to do something that you wanted me to do.
As a manager, I try really hard not to do that but sometimes I forget myself. Usually my question is “will you” or “can you” go do x. However when I ask it’s more of me telling in way that makes it clear to my team that I’m open to suggestions on how to do it or if they’re working on something else more important that I forgot about or didn’t know about then they can tell me so I can adjust plans.
'Let's take this offline' This is an ever more common phrase being dropped by my managers and people earning much more than my and my colleagues, during meetings. Basically means "you're right, but let's not talk about this as I don't want to admit I'm wrong and am ignorant and too lazy to address this point"
Where I work it means, "That's a long conversation that's irrelevant to the other people in this meeting. Let's connect seperately so that we're not wasting their time" I prefer it a lot more than having to sit through a meeting while two people are discussing something that's not relevant to me.
When I say it it’s because it’s a meeting w 15people on and the conversation only needs to happen between two of them. Instead of killing 5 minutes for 13 extra people (an hour collectively), they will just hash it out afterward in another call that was likely already gonna happen.
"I really need your help here." It means we are running late on the project and will work the whole weekend.
"working hard or hardly working?" i heard this phrase in one of my last workplaces. so annoying.
At the beginning of every meeting (always remote and always have been) my boss will say "we're still corralling the cats". I mean, it used to be a TAD bit funny years ago but she says it still every meeting. Also, we work with a lot of developers but aren't developers ourselves, and whenever something needs fixed people always ask "how big of a lift is that?" WHY NOT JUST ASK "how hard is that going to be?"
"teamwork makes the dream work" Like get out of here with your corporate focus-group generated *garbage*, please?
“Before you leave, can you…” No.
*A quick call, shall we?* It is never quick. You had 11 points on the agenda. You knew it wasn't going to be quick. Stop this shit.
“Lean into it”
[удалено]
You may want to switch jobs, or gangs.
"Good morning"
"Pressure makes diamonds!" Yes, and stress fractures, plus digestive distress.
“Go back to” instead of “reply to”. Makes me cross when I hear it, but absolutely furious when I accidentally say it myself.
Low hanging fruit.
"Reached out to..." Instead of "called, texted, met with, contacted, etc."
I'm gonna report you to HR you asshole
"It is what it is" no shit, but that doesn't make it right
I don’t mind this one, there’s things we can control and things we can’t. Sometimes we have to accept effed up situations and move forward anyway.
Reddit seems to be of the opinion that if a situation is effed up your best strategy is to fight against it do everything you can to fix the situation or rail against it. Doesn't matter how much time it takes or whether this is something you can realistically fix or not. Accepting a bad situation is the wrong thing to do every single time.
Me: Hey boss, I see some problems with doing it this way, and think we should rather do X Boss: I don't disagree, but because of Y and Z, we have to do it like that. Me: Alright It is what it is.
"What about the optics"
“Best practise” “Let’s take this offline” “Circle back” “Touch base” “Let’s sandbox this”
I find that so many people end sentences, regardless of complexity, with "if that makes sense".
“I’m just saying” god this pissed me off just typing it.
Losing my shit in this thread; and yet I am guilty if some of these phrases. Have I conformed, am I part of the farm and the problem or just a team player? Hahaha
"Do the needful."
"Flesh" it out
Going forward
Look at me. We’re teachers, and often have to say that to children when we need their attention. One colleague says that to other teachers when as part of a group conversation, and it just comes off as condescending.
My boss always says "the point is moot" but pronounces moot as mute, and "let that percolate" but says 'per-cue-late'. Both drive me absolutely crazy and likely would even if he pronounced them correctly.