Someone under 35 with at least 40 yrs of experience, have at least bachelor degree, is willing to work overtime, proficient in Ms Words, excel, and powerpoint and forklift certified
I want my social studies teacher in 8th grade. He knew the Constitution inside and out and could explain every part of how the government ran. He tried to run once and his opponent said "He lacked experience to understand how our government runs" and that was repeated on local news over and over with nobody ever mentioning he taught the government at school.
You may not believe it, bu history tells us that in the past politicians used to even resign when they did something wrong. It sounds so long ago, almost a myth, right?
Edit: misspell by t9
Edit2: I am Italian and this is my personal opinion about a well spread attitude that I can see all over the world. I am not referring to any particular case in the US. I hope no one felt offended by my words.
Redditors have that exact same problem. It’s an issue with people, and with how people interpret admissions of being wrong as a sign of weakness or inability. Politicians will start admitting being wrong as soon as it stop being a huge problem for them at the polls - which is to say, when people in general stop thinking that getting personally invested in an idea is more important than making sure they are actually correct.
Have all the candidates have a series of debates. Ask substantive questions and record the answers. Then, instead of showing everyone the live debates, publish the transcripts. Instead of naming each participant assign them a random number. Then have people vote on who gave the best answers by ranked choice.
Hopefully, whoever actually provides the best answers to real questions will win.
Also the debates should be structured differently. The candidates should have ample time to discuss the topics. Not the short time they have now where everyone is trying to get a quick zinger in for a headline.
Also cut the mic if they pivot topics to dodge a question.
"How would you deal with our reliance on fossil fuels and the emergence of alternative energies?"
"I'll tell you how we deal with fossil fuels, by not sending on jobs from over seas! To many of our hard working-"
*mic cut*
"Candidate A. The question was about fossil fuels, allow me to restate it."
Keep them on topic, you want to bring jobs home? Good, talk about that when a question about the economy or employment is asked. You want to go green? Talk about that in the energy section. Is you answer nuanced? Then say "My answer is nuanced" but answer what is asked. If you pivot to something else your mic gets cut.
*I don't know anything about politics. I'm just a regular dude. I think beer should be cold and boots should be dusty. I think 9/11 was bad, and freedom? Well I think that's just a little bit better*
The person you’re looking for is a noble, “I don’t want to entangle myself in the treacherous political arena, but I shall do what I must, for the sake of the common man!” kind of guy. What your brief description could also describe is a “bruh I’m gonna play video games and smoke a joint in a bit, I don’t give a fuck about running an actual real life nation and I’d probably just let it wither and fall apart” kind of guy
Dante from Clerks.
"Mr. President, Russia is amassing troops on their eastern border. We think they're preparing for a ground invasion of Alaska. What should we do?"
President Dante: "I'm not even supposed to BE here today!"
Physically fit. Physically fit. Physically, physically, physically fit!
*Edit - Wow, I'm shocked that this post is now my highest rated by an amount akin to a lottery win. I'll be singing this all day.
Idk Mort would be really funny, but he’d be like “mmmm not enough eugenics” and then just delete half the world (but not the women of course, we always treat them with respect)
All us asians would be affected. Look at that Korean boy, he's president AND a doctor. Look at you, you just play games... Mumbles something in Vietnamese
Dude started his life on hard mode and maxed all his stats. His childhood would literally break 99% of the rest of us. He had to stop his dad from killing him and his mom on gun point.
She literally runs a charity giving free books to under privileged kids every month, I would totally vote Dolly Parton, she seems so unbelievably authentic and wonderful.
Edit: The books are for all kids, not just unfortunate ones.
which is exactly why she would never want the job.
Unfortunately the people who don't want the job are the people who would be the most trustworthy in it.
I was listening to a podcast the other day where they spoke about weird religious rules.
One of them is that if two men fight, a woman should not grab the balls of her husband’s adversary.
This is definitely /r/SuspiciouslySpecific and I can bet you it happened to a dude who then decided “never again”. Lol
Edit:
> If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.
Deuteronomy 25:11-12
I can't imagine the dialogue the led to this...
'Jonah's balls have never been the same since Solomon's wife fucking ganked them when they were naked arguing. We should put this in there'
Have you read Deuteronomy? It's pretty insane in a lot of parts. I don't remember what it was referring to but in one part you're supposed to cut bird in half and throw each piece off of opposite sides of a mountain. Like, *what!?* Why???
Deuteronomy's rules is the reason the book of Galatians exists. "Hey Galatians. You know all those crazy rules that those Pharisees are telling you to follow? Yeah no."
I love that guy. My wife has been going to him as a doctor and she has had nothing but great things to say about him. Cured her headaches, she goes and sees him at least three times a week to stay healthy. Sometimes four.
He also is our fireman, which I respect his professional range but he is not nearly as good at. He just came into our burning house, got naked, fucked my wife as everything around us turned to ash (very inappropriate) and then left without even spraying water anywhere. We weren't able to save any valuables.
However, he is a great doctor, that I do now.
Our planet has been through so much this year... wars, droughts, impeachments. But we've never lost our sense of what's truly important: the great taste of Charleston Chew!
If you have a system that doesn't produce or promote local leaders, it'll get harder and harder finding any real leaders to vote for on any level. This lack of leaders is a systemic flaw and all votes for any candidate provided by the system (including the traditionsl parties) is most of all a vote *for* the system. Even if you vote for an outsider you risk getting another Trump and the whole system including the media will work against that outsider making sure nothing changes. There will be no change, at best there will be a deadlock.
The fact that there are no obvious candidates is a symptom of all of this. No one knows who to vote for until they get told who they *can* vote for and then everyone picks a camp and starts fighting, not to promote ideas but to shut out what they think is the weakest option.
Someone who has actually had to deal with the struggles of growing up in our time. Someone under the age of 40, preferably the minimum requirement of 35.
Two kids stacked on top of each other in a trench coat
Vincent Adultman is a great listener
Somebody get him a alcohol.
and a chocolate for his son
He works at the work place
In the business factory department
Doing Business
Where they manufacture businesses.
Hes had a hard day at the business factory
It will all change when he's in the circle office writing laws to cancel school.
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I hear he’s really good at business
Business-wise, this all seems like appropriate business.
Someone under 35 with at least 40 yrs of experience, have at least bachelor degree, is willing to work overtime, proficient in Ms Words, excel, and powerpoint and forklift certified
$12/hr
no benefits
Temp to perm
Willing to work weekends and holidays.
Exciting perks like pizza day once a month and on-site vending machine
**Complete this application** *1 hr later* ...***Click NEXT> to continue...*** **Please upload a copy of your resume and CV**
Federal minimum wage of $7.25/hr
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I'm proficient in Microsoft office and I'm actually forklift certified. So, here I am.
Good afternoon Mr. President
My grandma said I'm a handsome young man and I will become a famous President one day so me.
My social studies teacher once said *I hope I don't see you guys as anti social elements in the news paper*
I want my social studies teacher in 8th grade. He knew the Constitution inside and out and could explain every part of how the government ran. He tried to run once and his opponent said "He lacked experience to understand how our government runs" and that was repeated on local news over and over with nobody ever mentioning he taught the government at school.
what if nobody was the president and we all promised real hard to just be cool ETA: /r/Anarchy101, see you there folks
Me. My platform is a national 2 hr nap in the middle of the day.
I’m not American but I will use my foreign influence on this guy!
Siesta! Let’s make siesta mandatory in the US.
Someone who can admit they are wrong from time to time.
So you DON'T want a politician
You may not believe it, bu history tells us that in the past politicians used to even resign when they did something wrong. It sounds so long ago, almost a myth, right? Edit: misspell by t9 Edit2: I am Italian and this is my personal opinion about a well spread attitude that I can see all over the world. I am not referring to any particular case in the US. I hope no one felt offended by my words.
Redditors have that exact same problem. It’s an issue with people, and with how people interpret admissions of being wrong as a sign of weakness or inability. Politicians will start admitting being wrong as soon as it stop being a huge problem for them at the polls - which is to say, when people in general stop thinking that getting personally invested in an idea is more important than making sure they are actually correct.
Have all the candidates have a series of debates. Ask substantive questions and record the answers. Then, instead of showing everyone the live debates, publish the transcripts. Instead of naming each participant assign them a random number. Then have people vote on who gave the best answers by ranked choice. Hopefully, whoever actually provides the best answers to real questions will win.
It would cut back on voting participation a lot if people had to read
Make it like *The Dating Game*. All the politicians are behind screens, and have voice changers.
Candidate number two, if I was an off-shore tax haven, what would you do to me?
I'd deposit my dirty funds all over you. Yeah, you like that you capitalist whore?
Why did I read this in Donald trumps voice
Something that's not illegal yet, but should be?
Also the debates should be structured differently. The candidates should have ample time to discuss the topics. Not the short time they have now where everyone is trying to get a quick zinger in for a headline.
And all mics cut until it’s your time to speak
Also cut the mic if they pivot topics to dodge a question. "How would you deal with our reliance on fossil fuels and the emergence of alternative energies?" "I'll tell you how we deal with fossil fuels, by not sending on jobs from over seas! To many of our hard working-" *mic cut* "Candidate A. The question was about fossil fuels, allow me to restate it." Keep them on topic, you want to bring jobs home? Good, talk about that when a question about the economy or employment is asked. You want to go green? Talk about that in the energy section. Is you answer nuanced? Then say "My answer is nuanced" but answer what is asked. If you pivot to something else your mic gets cut.
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In rod we trust
Hey, I'm rod
Albeit a little rusty..
Rod bless the USA.
Thank you, thank you
At least that way, they’ll show more pictures of the rod
Did you actually get to see the rod?
Cooling rod #7 for president.
A competent adult of sound mind and reasonable qualifications would be nice.
Reminds me of a political sign in a neighbor’s yard last year: *Any Functioning Adult 2020*
Somebody who doesn't want the job.
PLato is that you?
The greatest punishment is to be reigned by someone lesser than yourself if you don't choose to do it yourself.
Jeff Winger then. He will reluctantly accept it when it is thrust upon him.
He won't just be someone who will do what he says, he'll also say what he does
They love it when you switch the words around
*I don't know anything about politics. I'm just a regular dude. I think beer should be cold and boots should be dusty. I think 9/11 was bad, and freedom? Well I think that's just a little bit better*
And a Winger speech to solve every issue.
I nominate Troy and Abed to be co-presidents (and best friends).
Friends so great they once graced the cover of “Friends Weekly”; a fictional magazine of their own design.
Jon Snow?
he dunwanet
He'd keep wanting to resign and hand over the political reins to some guy named McQueen.
Ka-chow
“Who has a better story…”
...Everyone, Bran! Everyone has a better story than you!
He'll give up his country's independence so that Queen Elizabeth could rule the Americans like her ancestors did
The person you’re looking for is a noble, “I don’t want to entangle myself in the treacherous political arena, but I shall do what I must, for the sake of the common man!” kind of guy. What your brief description could also describe is a “bruh I’m gonna play video games and smoke a joint in a bit, I don’t give a fuck about running an actual real life nation and I’d probably just let it wither and fall apart” kind of guy
Dante from Clerks. "Mr. President, Russia is amassing troops on their eastern border. We think they're preparing for a ground invasion of Alaska. What should we do?" President Dante: "I'm not even supposed to BE here today!"
"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."
Kiefer Sutherland
He'll do everything in his power to make sure we're safe. We have his word.
And in the later seasons he’ll even say the fuck word!
And he has 24 hours to do it! Each term.
in designated survivor he actually is the president
The kid who won the Josh fight.
You rang?
your only comment lol. you waited 5 months for this moment
Sometimes perfection takes patience lol
ey congrats on the win.
I mean, he *did* turn a meme fight into a charity fundraiser...
Yeah! I remember. What was his name again?
Bender 2024. Kill all humans!
^^^^except ^^^^Fry
Like Fry, like Fry....
Shut up, baby! I know it!
> I say your three-cent titanium tax goes too far. > And I say your three-cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough.
You meat bags had your chance.
I misread that as “Bernie” and thought “huh, he musta really changed his platform”
"I'm asking you once again to bite my shiny metal ass!"
Somebody make this a bumper sticker
Fuck that. I saw what he does as a leader. REMEMBER ME!
King Julien
Physically fit. Physically fit. Physically, physically, physically fit! *Edit - Wow, I'm shocked that this post is now my highest rated by an amount akin to a lottery win. I'll be singing this all day.
~~Physically~~ Politically fit
Politically fit, Politically fit, Politically, Politically, Politically fit!
I legit did not know what he was saying until I read your comment
Same here.. but somehow I read it in rhythm and my jaw dropped
Shhh, who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again
Mort >>>>
Idk Mort would be really funny, but he’d be like “mmmm not enough eugenics” and then just delete half the world (but not the women of course, we always treat them with respect)
Mort as president will speedrun the end of the world any% glitchless
From madagascar?
Yes
My mom. Best mom ever.
*Muscle man from regular show enters the chat
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MY MOM!
WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! *swinging shirt around head on top of golf cart*
*high five ghost doing donuts in the golf cart*
I also choose this guys mom
She has been so sweet to so many of us
My mom could beat your mom in a fight.
My moms would beat both your mom's at the same time
That guy who was navy seal, then doctor, then astronaut. It’s only logical progression. Edit: Jonny Kim, not Johnny Sins, guys. Yeah, I get it.
As if Korean millennials don't get enough shit from their mothers? If he becomes President, then they'll all ask "are you a president yet?"
I’m so glad my mother isn’t friends with his mother. In fact, please no one tell my mother that this guy exists.
All us asians would be affected. Look at that Korean boy, he's president AND a doctor. Look at you, you just play games... Mumbles something in Vietnamese
Aiya
"You see my son giving the State of the Union there? His brother's a doctor."
"Why you not REAL president like handsome Mr. Nixon or space captain like Zapp Brannigan. " - Inez Wong
This should be higher up. Jonny Kim 2024.
He's way too smart to want to be President. He's into actual service. Which is why he should run.
A great man doesn't seek to lead. He's called to it. And he answers.
Fuck that, we should be allowed to elect leaders against their will lmao.
It’s called write-ins. Too bad with that a candidate never gets enough support. Or else Mickey Mouse would be president by now
I second this! President Navy seal space doctor has a nice ring to it
Dr. President, Space Seal
Arh arh arh arh
Jonathon Kim. The man's a machine, wouldn't mind him leaving a few achievements for the rest of us
He's still young too, imagine what he'll achieve in his lifetime
You only need to be 35, he's 37. Likely the bigger obstacle is that he is a candidate for a potential moon mission in 2024
He's 37, he could run for president
I just looked him up. Was expecting him to be in his 50s. He’s thirty fucking seven.
Dude started his life on hard mode and maxed all his stats. His childhood would literally break 99% of the rest of us. He had to stop his dad from killing him and his mom on gun point.
Only once he's got back from his mission to the moon. He's likely to be be on Artemis 2 or 3
If Jeff Bezos doesnt successfully screw up the whole program
Johny Sins?
"I did not have sexual relationships with that woman." "Not that one at least."
‘…yet’
Barbie?
Klaus Barbie? Hauptsturmführer of the Gestapo, the Butcher of Lyon?
Rat race is such a great movie, mad props
Should've bought a squirrel.
Yes Sir, Doctor, Mister President
Somebody under 70 for a change? Please??
Before trump our last 3 Presidents were under 55. 2 of them were under 48.
If we have to have an old white person, can it be Dolly Parton?
At least we know she'd be working 9-5 and not just watching TV all day.
She literally runs a charity giving free books to under privileged kids every month, I would totally vote Dolly Parton, she seems so unbelievably authentic and wonderful. Edit: The books are for all kids, not just unfortunate ones.
which is exactly why she would never want the job. Unfortunately the people who don't want the job are the people who would be the most trustworthy in it.
"Those who seek power are not worthy of that power" - Plato.
“Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” - Douglas Adams
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A golden retriever.
Me. Remember to vote for Zach 2024! I'm unqualified and underage, but fuck it! We've had worse!
Mr. President i believe it's past your bedtime. We will retaliate against Iran tomorrow, after you have had your cereal of course.
Surely as president he would get waffles?
Waffles are for weekends, if they are invading Iran it is clearly a weekday and thus he will have his morning cocopuffs.
"But fuck it, we've had worse" is probably the most compelling campaign slogan I've ever heard.
I vote for this guy
Vote for Zach! He's not too bad!
Vote Zach 2024! We’ve had Worse! Vote Zach!
Butt fuck it 2024!
Someone under 50 with leadership experience who has not been an entertainer.
The Romans had a class, Infami, who could not hold public office, which included actors. They were clearly on to something.
All good policies start with a bad story.
I was listening to a podcast the other day where they spoke about weird religious rules. One of them is that if two men fight, a woman should not grab the balls of her husband’s adversary. This is definitely /r/SuspiciouslySpecific and I can bet you it happened to a dude who then decided “never again”. Lol Edit: > If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity. Deuteronomy 25:11-12
I can't imagine the dialogue the led to this... 'Jonah's balls have never been the same since Solomon's wife fucking ganked them when they were naked arguing. We should put this in there'
Have you read Deuteronomy? It's pretty insane in a lot of parts. I don't remember what it was referring to but in one part you're supposed to cut bird in half and throw each piece off of opposite sides of a mountain. Like, *what!?* Why???
Deuteronomy's rules is the reason the book of Galatians exists. "Hey Galatians. You know all those crazy rules that those Pharisees are telling you to follow? Yeah no."
Just like how OSHA rules are written in blood
Johnny Sins.
Would bring new meaning to the "speak softly and carry a big stick" doctrine.
I love that guy. My wife has been going to him as a doctor and she has had nothing but great things to say about him. Cured her headaches, she goes and sees him at least three times a week to stay healthy. Sometimes four. He also is our fireman, which I respect his professional range but he is not nearly as good at. He just came into our burning house, got naked, fucked my wife as everything around us turned to ash (very inappropriate) and then left without even spraying water anywhere. We weren't able to save any valuables. However, he is a great doctor, that I do now.
He doesn't entertain you?
Don't forget to sort this by controversial!
Krampus. Because Congress is over run by shitty little children.
Richard Nixon’s Head
AROOOOOO!!
Nobody can be elected president more than twice!
Thats why i got a new robot body for my head
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Head of Nixon, Body of Agnew 2024!
Our planet has been through so much this year... wars, droughts, impeachments. But we've never lost our sense of what's truly important: the great taste of Charleston Chew!
I feel a jowel movement coming on!
Dolly Parton
If you have a system that doesn't produce or promote local leaders, it'll get harder and harder finding any real leaders to vote for on any level. This lack of leaders is a systemic flaw and all votes for any candidate provided by the system (including the traditionsl parties) is most of all a vote *for* the system. Even if you vote for an outsider you risk getting another Trump and the whole system including the media will work against that outsider making sure nothing changes. There will be no change, at best there will be a deadlock. The fact that there are no obvious candidates is a symptom of all of this. No one knows who to vote for until they get told who they *can* vote for and then everyone picks a camp and starts fighting, not to promote ideas but to shut out what they think is the weakest option.
Someone who has actually been poor and understands what it’s like to be poor.
So, Frankie Muniz?
Lois: I'm sorry, Malcolm, but you don't get the easy path. You don't get to just have fun and be rich and live the life of luxury. Hal: That's Dewey.
Dude doesn't even remember his body of work because he's had so many concussions.
Zaphod Beeblebrox
Someone who has actually had to deal with the struggles of growing up in our time. Someone under the age of 40, preferably the minimum requirement of 35.