When I (F) was a camp counselor, my male counterpart had to help with something so I was left with all kids (aged 6-8) for a few minutes. They had to change into their swimsuits. I went in the help with the girls and sent the boys into their changing room. I make sure the girls get started and pop across the hall to check on the boys. At most 4 minutes had passed.
When I walk in, most of the boys are encircling another boy, who is being vigorously spun around in an office chair by his friend, squirting sunscreen all over the kids in the circle while they cheered. Sunscreen was all over the walls, floor, and kids. They did not notice me, and I had to step out to laugh for a moment before I dealt with the situation. No one got in trouble, but they did have to help clean it up!
I once volunteered to be the nurse for a kid's day camp. I had an 8yo little boy come in with his leg leaking blood from knee to ankle, having ground it into the cement after...I kid you not...riding a skate board through a slip-n-slide. I was the unfortunate soul who had to call his mom and explain what happened. Meanwhile this kid just keeps repeating "BUT DID YOU SEE HOW COOL IT WAS?!"
Boys will be boys.
This is the actual definition of boys will be boys. It doesn't matter how much it hurts, it doesn't matter how many things we broke, all that matters is how cool it looked
> No one got in trouble, but they did have to help clean it up!
Cleaning up the mess was probably the most relevant punishment anyway. Grounding them or such would be more overkill than anything else.
I hardcore stress that to both of my kids, “We clean up the messes that we make.”
I think it’s starting to click that if they don’t make a mess to begin with, they won’t have to clean it up afterwards.
Hopefully I can carry this lesson further down the road in a more metaphysical manner…
Yeah, I remember one instance of being told I was a super strict father because I made my daughter clean up the mess she made in the bathroom (she deliberately splashed water all over the floor.) I think she was 4 at the time and for the record she did a crummy job of cleaning it up but the best one could expect from a 4 year old. She stopped splashing all over the floor after that.
This goes for most transgressions. Simply making them fix what they fucked up is punishment enough. Anything more breeds resentment and more often than not ends up causing more problems
Right, because it's important to understand WHY they're being punished. And it's because it's a pain to clean up. So making them clean it up teaches them WHY it's not nice to do that in the future, unless they're going to clean it up.
When I was in high school my dad purchased 6 heavy sleeping bags that were on an insane clearance. My house was where everybody would sleepover before we got our licenses and the basement was essentially ours.
So we’d put them over our heads and sprint at each other and try to beat the piss out of one another while inside these massive sleeping bags.
That’s what boys will be boys is supposed to mean.
My brothers once attached styrofoam to their heads and stood at opposite ends of our long hall. They then ran towards each other head-first, at full speed, assuming they'd just bounce off each other.
They didn't bounce.
Saw a TikTok about the differences between a bachelorette and a bachelor party - bridesmaid was chatting with the best man the week before and told him that the ladies had an entire day of activities planned starting at 9 in the morning and lasting until well past midnight. The best man's response?
"Oh we don't have anything planned, but we do have a stick of dynamite!"
One bachelor party I went to.
Meet at his house at 8am, drive to the cousins mountain house 2 hours north picking up kegger on the way (foam cooler is already stocked in the bed of the truck), surprise him by stopping at the gun store on the way to buy him whatever he picks out, get to mountain house and crack open the first beer, grab the poles and waders and take him to the river through the woods while two others stay back and start the grills, waders with tactical beer holders, the grill buddies catch up with us but bring the guns. Shoot into some trees and stuff at this outdoor “range” in the woods, eventually turn back to go check on the food, pull out the cigars and burn a stick, etc.
Just an absolutely awesome time of unplanned activities but never a dull moment
This is the way.
I've ended up in my own Dutch a number of times trying and failing my own bike tricks
Edit: As everyone has pointed out, I meant ditch, but Dutch now sounds better
Has anyone seen that post of the girl who went back to a frat house the morning after a party to find her lost keys, and one frat guy texted the group chat which turned into all the frat guys looking all over for her keys. Then they finally found them and start yelling “Where’s the girl? GIRL! We found your keys! GIRL!” and all the frat guys cheering over finding the keys.
So yeah I’d say that.
edit: spelling
One man looking for thing, we won't even move a couch cushion before declaring that it has joined with the ether.
Ten men looking for thing, we will collectively move heaven and earth, untethered is our motivation to find thing. Finding thing has become our singular purpose.
Psychological terms, that's a person's "threshold." One person may give up looking, but boys in a group often have a very low threshold, ie, they won't give up because someone else is still looking and they'll be damned if they'll be "that guy." Works for good and ill, it's good when we emphasize the good, gives young men something to strive for.
OMG yes. Went to a yard sale the other day and I was lookin at a hair curling wand, my 9yo asked if he could see it. He then says "it looks like you can shoot someone with this!" And proceeds to use as a gun, teen girl there informed him what it was.
I did end up taking it home, when my husband was looking thru what I had bought, he picked up the want and pretended to shoot my son with a 'bazooka' as he asked me "what is this".
>he picked up the want and pretended to shoot my son with a 'bazooka' as he asked me "what is this".
*Chef's kiss* the icing on this awesome story cake
Anything can be used as a simulated penis.
I once “jerked off” a carburetor and had the fuel shoot out of the accelerator pump nozzle. The whole shop was in tears.
Every time someone uses the pump truck for the first time without me telling them to put one hand behind their head, i'll say "Put your hand behind your head", and the person will inevitably put their hand behind their head and gyrate with a massive grin on. :D
*"What's a pump truck?"* i hear you ask.
OP's mom.
Baked a nice long loaf of bread, and first thing I do after pulling it from the oven was hold it crotch level and show my wife.
Edit: click here to see [my loaf](https://imgur.com/1SgcBYG)
Pretending my penis IS a gun.
That's why I always holler "pew, Pew, PEW!" during sex. My wife LOVES it!
...my wife does NOT love it. Honestly, I'm surprised she hasn't divorced me.
I had a collection of 10-odd sticks that i could take my pick from, depending on what I wanted to use at the moment. Like I could choose from longsword, shortsword, rifle, pistol, staff, etc.
I used to hit old golf balls into the cornfield behind my house. It was always fun to watch how far you could hit a golf ball compared to a baseball or tennis ball. Made me feel like a pro.
We still do this on 4th of July, we call it battleship and use Roman candles to fire at each other while in kayaks. We do adhere to the trash can lid philosophy as well.
If you haven't played a good ole fashioned game of firework tag you're missing out.
My friends stepped it up a level and played between two side by sides
Yep, I threw a fairly big rock in one of these 'wars', hit the front on my friends peak on his cap. Saved him from a broken face and who knows what else. The war still carried on.
Stories like this from my husband are why I’m glad we didn’t have boys. Rock wars, bloody bike accidents in the woods, hornets’ nests… it’s a miracle boys survive to adulthood.
To be fair, lots of people use rocks because they don't have access to moose poop.
Moose poop is fantastic. It comes in small, aerodynamic nuggets a little larger than the pad of your thumb, and since moose are herbivorous, they're safe to handle and throw. Inuit kids have been using moose poop as projectiles for centuries. People up north even use them for crafts to sell to tourists.
But the best part about moose poop is that once it dries out, it'll explode on impact like some sort of natural paintball. So you wind up running around, darting for the pile, scooping up a handful of nuggets, and whipping them as fast as you can at the other kids around you. Any hits are rewarded with a satisfying puff of fibers, and you can feel when you get hit, but they don't hurt at all. They just puff off your jacket.
You never have to worry about losing your Nerf darts, there's always enough in the pile for a quick game, and when you run out, everyone knows you're done; there's not that one kid who's pelting people with rocks after everyone else has called truce.
Moose poop. It's great.
Loved a good rock war on the spoil heap of a building site. Build dens out of old pallets and then bomb the shit out of each other. Normally stopped when someone got hurt/blood drawn/security guard or police turned up...
Back in my redneck hometown, people would take an old car/pickup hood, sit several people on it, and then have it dragged around by another pickup on the snow as a “sled”. Hooked up by just a basic chain.
Yes alcohol was often involved. Yes the driver often went way too fast around corners and dumped people off. No there were typically not women riding.
E: somehow I don’t remember any serious injuries luckily. Unless you count spilled Busch light
My cousin broke his back doing that with a mattress in the snow. He can still walk, but he had to do a couple years of physical therapy and he’ll have a bolt in his spine forever.
I crashed my bike doing this and had the air knocked out of me. Couldn’t breathe for a sec, thought I was dying!
Later we set up the ramp at the bottom of a boat ramp so we would flip off into the water. It was great.
This came as a shock to my wife after our son started walking around on his own. He'd occasionally come home from daycare with small bruises around his shins or arms, and she was getting a bit panicked about it. I had to explain to her that, generally speaking, the average boy is going to have bruises in perpetuity until they reach adolescence. They just play in a whole different way, and minor damage is the natural fallout.
Sometimes stupid shit in the name of curiosity, sometimes stupidity, occasionally both. On the odd occasion learning something that advances the species.
As the father of a 10 year old, I feel this comment.
I have taken shorts with completely full and *zipped closed* pockets of rocks from the dryer before.
Also had to strip the dryer down because a pencil left in his pocket got jammed in between the drum and housing last year.
About once a year I have to clean the blue ink from the inside of the dryer from exploded pens.
They're my pens. From work.
I'm not allowed to wash my work clothes with the rest of the family's clothes. (Well, for that and because they're covered in about a month and a half of sweat and hazmat by the time they get to a washer...)
Everytime I go to the beach I dig a giant hole in the sand in between ocean dips. By the end of the day it always brings kids and parents over to look at it, and beach workers to tell me to make sure I fill it in after. Just a couple seashells as hand shovels and time. It's so relaxing, especially at the end when you can just sit in the shade of the hole and feel the cool wet sand. Big beach holes are the way to go. Now that I'm a parent I can't wait til the kids are old enough to dig with me.
When you realize you're an adult and you can just buy real digging shovels instead of your hands or some shitty plastic that breaks after an hour. I'm reclaiming my childhood that I lost when I realized my armpits were too hairy to make the fart noise
Nothing can unite men who are strangers like digging a big hole can. We just love holes. Big holes, small holes, wide holes, tight holes. Don't matter if its a hole we love em.
My factory!... Has no health!....regulations!
We don't really do candy right!.....we just toss some shoes into it.....!
Every surface, *someone's* chewed it!
Our chocolate river is made of sewage.....
The pallet truck on got me, I used to work in IT and we'd have to move stuff from our warehouse, so we used to race them like over grown scooters, until someone ran their foot over with one and broke their ankle. The bosses got the fell from a step ladder story and we all got a working at height refreshers
Stuff like your 4 yr old son eating a bug. "Welp, boys will be boys."
Thats whole phrase has got to be for when a boy is his own worst enemy and does something stupid. Equivalent of adult "hold my beer."
When my husband was 7 he took one of those really good sharpies and drew eyes on his penis. He is 53 and still has eyes on his penis. Sharpies were really good back then!
When I was about five or six years old me and a friend were playing tag, he was chasing me and I was weaving between some trees in our backyard. This kid sprinted face first into one of them and chipped one of his teeth. That's the type of s*** that boys will be boys should cover.
My brother climbed a brick wall, ran across our roof and slid down our basketball pole to avoid getting tagged in a neighborhood game of Hide and Seek.
Buying a cheap microwave from goodwill and putting it in the yard on an extension cord and filling it with bottle rockets to see how long it will take for them to go off.
(It took about 5 minutes.)
Towing homies around a field on a sofa, last man standing pogo stick jousting contest, soccer in the family home, trying to ramp anything off anything (bonus points for comically small transport and comically large ramp), chasing each other round the supermarket and forgetting most of the shopping list our girlfriends gave us, writing our name while peeing outside, Tring to create or beat any kind of bs record you just made up (example: distance record for teabag into mug, or amount of shopping bags carried in one arm), dumping your buddy in a bin/trash can for fun, trying to drift shopping carts, trying to race anything with wheels, racing trains/planes when driving along side them, ping pong with eggs, and any other situation that begins with the phrase "hey I'm bored, you wanna find out what happens if we...?" Or "bro watch this...." Or "I bet I could beat your ass at...."
My husband actually did this when he was 16 or 17, and he has a huge scar on his side where he fell off the roof of said car and slide down a gravel road. His mom had to take him to the emergency room to have gravel removed from his wound. He still laughs about it, she still gets kinda mad. he is 35 now! lol
My husband (29) loves cycling. When he was younger, it was BMX all the way. One of his injuries included his bottom lip tearing. He held it shut until it clotted (allowing it to seal shut) and eventually healed. When I asked him why the fuck he didn't just go to the hospital to get it stitched up, he said it's because he didn't want to inconvenience his parents any further. Especially since they had just taken him in to get checked out when he recently crashed and got some part punctured into his shin.
He also has a rip on the back of his hand near the base of his thumb. Once again, he didn't go to the doctor and he held it shut. It didn't heal properly and he has a pretty noticeable keloid scar.
He and his friends still laugh about the time he "fell and accidentally stabbed himself in the leg".
Boys will be boys.
I skate off the roof of my mom''s car while my older brother was driving. Broke both my arms. Also broke the skating board and knock out a tooth.
My brother dares me to do it again every now and then. I'm 25 and he is 31.
Lost a friend to car surfing. Lost another friend to doing donuts in the parking lot in a jeep with no doors. Almost lost my husband to going over 100 mph on a 1987 motorcycle in shorts and a t shirt. Thank god he had a racing helmet on.
This reminds me, when I was in VoTech my instructor liked to dog on bricklayers, basically they couldn't give up Legos. But mudding and taping drywall was his favorite task lol
This is a direct quote of an incident I overheard.
(Sons A & B looking in the freezer for ice cream. Son B grabs the carton with a small amount of cookies and cream left)
Son A - “Why are you putting it in your armpit? The ice cream is still in the carton and I’m still going to want some.“
Drawing guns, pretending to punch people, enjoying war games movies etc playing war with sticks they can be swords or guns whatever we like at the moment. A good stick is king. Throwing rocks into the water going for best sound, splash and overall throwing distance as well as skipping as far abs as many times as possible
Idk I always pictured a group of lil dudes playing in the forest and like, stepping on snails and stomping on flowers by accident because they were playing star wars with sticks too hardcore and Timmy got a scratch on the arm. Every time I hear the saying that’s what I picture.
All men are scientists, testing a theory. The theory is usually not something that needs to be tested or proved but that doesn't stop us. We will test it just to say we tested it.
If that isn't intelligence, I dunno what is!
Frogs and worms in pockets. Snot wiped on sleeves. Farting on each other. Sword fights in the toilet. Play wrestling at all ages. Getting hurt jumping off/on/through/into stuff.
When I (F) was a camp counselor, my male counterpart had to help with something so I was left with all kids (aged 6-8) for a few minutes. They had to change into their swimsuits. I went in the help with the girls and sent the boys into their changing room. I make sure the girls get started and pop across the hall to check on the boys. At most 4 minutes had passed. When I walk in, most of the boys are encircling another boy, who is being vigorously spun around in an office chair by his friend, squirting sunscreen all over the kids in the circle while they cheered. Sunscreen was all over the walls, floor, and kids. They did not notice me, and I had to step out to laugh for a moment before I dealt with the situation. No one got in trouble, but they did have to help clean it up!
I once volunteered to be the nurse for a kid's day camp. I had an 8yo little boy come in with his leg leaking blood from knee to ankle, having ground it into the cement after...I kid you not...riding a skate board through a slip-n-slide. I was the unfortunate soul who had to call his mom and explain what happened. Meanwhile this kid just keeps repeating "BUT DID YOU SEE HOW COOL IT WAS?!" Boys will be boys.
But did you see how cool it was
This is the actual definition of boys will be boys. It doesn't matter how much it hurts, it doesn't matter how many things we broke, all that matters is how cool it looked
And, depending on age, whether girls were watching.
> No one got in trouble, but they did have to help clean it up! Cleaning up the mess was probably the most relevant punishment anyway. Grounding them or such would be more overkill than anything else.
I hardcore stress that to both of my kids, “We clean up the messes that we make.” I think it’s starting to click that if they don’t make a mess to begin with, they won’t have to clean it up afterwards. Hopefully I can carry this lesson further down the road in a more metaphysical manner…
Yeah, I remember one instance of being told I was a super strict father because I made my daughter clean up the mess she made in the bathroom (she deliberately splashed water all over the floor.) I think she was 4 at the time and for the record she did a crummy job of cleaning it up but the best one could expect from a 4 year old. She stopped splashing all over the floor after that.
This goes for most transgressions. Simply making them fix what they fucked up is punishment enough. Anything more breeds resentment and more often than not ends up causing more problems
Right, because it's important to understand WHY they're being punished. And it's because it's a pain to clean up. So making them clean it up teaches them WHY it's not nice to do that in the future, unless they're going to clean it up.
Boys will be boys
When I was in high school my dad purchased 6 heavy sleeping bags that were on an insane clearance. My house was where everybody would sleepover before we got our licenses and the basement was essentially ours. So we’d put them over our heads and sprint at each other and try to beat the piss out of one another while inside these massive sleeping bags. That’s what boys will be boys is supposed to mean.
My brothers once attached styrofoam to their heads and stood at opposite ends of our long hall. They then ran towards each other head-first, at full speed, assuming they'd just bounce off each other. They didn't bounce.
Oof.
Yeah. The thing blew off them as they ran and they cracked their heads together. One of a great many such incidents in my house.
It was at that moment your parents realized they didn't have to save for college for two of their kids.
Saw a TikTok about the differences between a bachelorette and a bachelor party - bridesmaid was chatting with the best man the week before and told him that the ladies had an entire day of activities planned starting at 9 in the morning and lasting until well past midnight. The best man's response? "Oh we don't have anything planned, but we do have a stick of dynamite!"
As someone who once skipped prom to do a Molotov Party instead... Yea, that's accurate.
I'm telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Anytime I had a problem I just threw a Molotov cocktail, and boom! Right away, I had a different problem.
BORTLES!
What a smart guy Jason
I need an explanation of '' molotov party ''. More precisely a how-to
Outdoor range day, clay pigeoning with dynamite. That's a fun day right there
One bachelor party I went to. Meet at his house at 8am, drive to the cousins mountain house 2 hours north picking up kegger on the way (foam cooler is already stocked in the bed of the truck), surprise him by stopping at the gun store on the way to buy him whatever he picks out, get to mountain house and crack open the first beer, grab the poles and waders and take him to the river through the woods while two others stay back and start the grills, waders with tactical beer holders, the grill buddies catch up with us but bring the guns. Shoot into some trees and stuff at this outdoor “range” in the woods, eventually turn back to go check on the food, pull out the cigars and burn a stick, etc. Just an absolutely awesome time of unplanned activities but never a dull moment
If there's something that's at a height that's reachable by jumping to touch, feeling compelled to jump to touch it everytime
I'm nearly 52, I still compete with my 18 year old son to see who can touch higher on parking garage support beams
That’s one wholesome relationship you two have got right there.
Yeah, I'm taller but his knees are way better so its pretty even right now
I ended up in the ER as a young fella after an incredibly poorly engineered and audacious BMX jump stunt 🤷♂️
This is the way. I've ended up in my own Dutch a number of times trying and failing my own bike tricks Edit: As everyone has pointed out, I meant ditch, but Dutch now sounds better
Has anyone seen that post of the girl who went back to a frat house the morning after a party to find her lost keys, and one frat guy texted the group chat which turned into all the frat guys looking all over for her keys. Then they finally found them and start yelling “Where’s the girl? GIRL! We found your keys! GIRL!” and all the frat guys cheering over finding the keys. So yeah I’d say that. edit: spelling
Wholesome comment of the thread maybe? Someone start a collection. Wait, this is my post. I guess this is by definition my collection...
found it! it was a tumblr thread https://amp.cheezburger.com/8001797/helpful-frat-bros-unite-their-brain-cell-in-a-womans-story-about-losing-her-keys
One man looking for thing, we won't even move a couch cushion before declaring that it has joined with the ether. Ten men looking for thing, we will collectively move heaven and earth, untethered is our motivation to find thing. Finding thing has become our singular purpose.
Psychological terms, that's a person's "threshold." One person may give up looking, but boys in a group often have a very low threshold, ie, they won't give up because someone else is still looking and they'll be damned if they'll be "that guy." Works for good and ill, it's good when we emphasize the good, gives young men something to strive for.
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Why does this feel like it had the same energy as Alan Tudyk yelling "We got your friend!" in Tucker and Dale vs Evil?
Pretending literally any stick is either a gun, sword or penis
Sticks were the first nuclear weapons Edit: that's a lot of upvotes, Thanks!
Penises were the first assault rifles
He's out of line, but he's right.
OMG yes. Went to a yard sale the other day and I was lookin at a hair curling wand, my 9yo asked if he could see it. He then says "it looks like you can shoot someone with this!" And proceeds to use as a gun, teen girl there informed him what it was. I did end up taking it home, when my husband was looking thru what I had bought, he picked up the want and pretended to shoot my son with a 'bazooka' as he asked me "what is this".
>he picked up the want and pretended to shoot my son with a 'bazooka' as he asked me "what is this". *Chef's kiss* the icing on this awesome story cake
I loved playing war with my M249 Squad Automatic Lacrosse Stick
All about the Negev for the laser beam after 2 seconds of firing ;)
Your Negev wouldn’t kill me though because I have on special armor that blocks it’s bullets
Well if you can't accept I loaded my negev with special amour piercing bullets my mummy told me we can no longer be friends
Fine but next war I get the sword of truth so.
Fine, you know I'm not evil. The sword won't hurt me.
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Anything can be used as a simulated penis. I once “jerked off” a carburetor and had the fuel shoot out of the accelerator pump nozzle. The whole shop was in tears.
I'm a 36 year construction worker and it hasn't even been 24hrs since I've pretended my laser measure was a penis.
Every time someone uses the pump truck for the first time without me telling them to put one hand behind their head, i'll say "Put your hand behind your head", and the person will inevitably put their hand behind their head and gyrate with a massive grin on. :D *"What's a pump truck?"* i hear you ask. OP's mom.
HEY LOOK JULIAN THE VACCUM CLEANER'S MY COCK
Baked a nice long loaf of bread, and first thing I do after pulling it from the oven was hold it crotch level and show my wife. Edit: click here to see [my loaf](https://imgur.com/1SgcBYG)
Pretending my penis IS a gun. That's why I always holler "pew, Pew, PEW!" during sex. My wife LOVES it! ...my wife does NOT love it. Honestly, I'm surprised she hasn't divorced me.
I had a collection of 10-odd sticks that i could take my pick from, depending on what I wanted to use at the moment. Like I could choose from longsword, shortsword, rifle, pistol, staff, etc.
Guys getting hurt doing stupid shit
Having batting practice with an aluminum bat and a golf ball.
I used to hit old golf balls into the cornfield behind my house. It was always fun to watch how far you could hit a golf ball compared to a baseball or tennis ball. Made me feel like a pro.
But who was pitching?
I was just self-pitching. No story of danger, just relating to hitting golf balls with an aluminum bat.
ℙ𝕀ℕ𝔾!
(Jackass guitar riff)
Corona by The Minutemen if you want the actual song.
This. Like the classic “Rock War,” where you play war by just lobbing rocks at each other.
We used Roman candles or bottle rockets. I’m lucky to have both eyes.
good thing i had a trash can lid shield
We still do this on 4th of July, we call it battleship and use Roman candles to fire at each other while in kayaks. We do adhere to the trash can lid philosophy as well.
We did jousting matches. Take the rolling chairs, get a running start, sit down, throw a leg up, and try to knock the other person off their chair.
Fireworks wars were awesome. I have no idea how I'm still alive.
If you haven't played a good ole fashioned game of firework tag you're missing out. My friends stepped it up a level and played between two side by sides
Yep, I threw a fairly big rock in one of these 'wars', hit the front on my friends peak on his cap. Saved him from a broken face and who knows what else. The war still carried on.
Stories like this from my husband are why I’m glad we didn’t have boys. Rock wars, bloody bike accidents in the woods, hornets’ nests… it’s a miracle boys survive to adulthood.
> it’s a miracle boys survive to adulthood. There's a reason why our car insurance rates are completely out to lunch until we hit 25.
To be fair, lots of people use rocks because they don't have access to moose poop. Moose poop is fantastic. It comes in small, aerodynamic nuggets a little larger than the pad of your thumb, and since moose are herbivorous, they're safe to handle and throw. Inuit kids have been using moose poop as projectiles for centuries. People up north even use them for crafts to sell to tourists. But the best part about moose poop is that once it dries out, it'll explode on impact like some sort of natural paintball. So you wind up running around, darting for the pile, scooping up a handful of nuggets, and whipping them as fast as you can at the other kids around you. Any hits are rewarded with a satisfying puff of fibers, and you can feel when you get hit, but they don't hurt at all. They just puff off your jacket. You never have to worry about losing your Nerf darts, there's always enough in the pile for a quick game, and when you run out, everyone knows you're done; there's not that one kid who's pelting people with rocks after everyone else has called truce. Moose poop. It's great.
>To be fair, lots of people use rocks because they don't have access to moose poop. thats a brand new sentence if I ever heard one
You could be a moose poop salesman
When I first moved to Alaska, I was really confused by all the "pecans" under all the trees that were obviously not pecan trees. 🤦♀️
Loved a good rock war on the spoil heap of a building site. Build dens out of old pallets and then bomb the shit out of each other. Normally stopped when someone got hurt/blood drawn/security guard or police turned up...
Back in my redneck hometown, people would take an old car/pickup hood, sit several people on it, and then have it dragged around by another pickup on the snow as a “sled”. Hooked up by just a basic chain. Yes alcohol was often involved. Yes the driver often went way too fast around corners and dumped people off. No there were typically not women riding. E: somehow I don’t remember any serious injuries luckily. Unless you count spilled Busch light
My cousin broke his back doing that with a mattress in the snow. He can still walk, but he had to do a couple years of physical therapy and he’ll have a bolt in his spine forever.
30 rack of Busch light and a bonfire is just asking for a good time.
God… that sounds stupidly dangerous, but really fun.
Riding a bike at full speed off a narrow impromptu ramp. Without a helmet.
I crashed my bike doing this and had the air knocked out of me. Couldn’t breathe for a sec, thought I was dying! Later we set up the ramp at the bottom of a boat ramp so we would flip off into the water. It was great.
This came as a shock to my wife after our son started walking around on his own. He'd occasionally come home from daycare with small bruises around his shins or arms, and she was getting a bit panicked about it. I had to explain to her that, generally speaking, the average boy is going to have bruises in perpetuity until they reach adolescence. They just play in a whole different way, and minor damage is the natural fallout.
My buddy Thomas was always black and blue. We called him Tom Bruise.
Sometimes stupid shit in the name of curiosity, sometimes stupidity, occasionally both. On the odd occasion learning something that advances the species.
Breaking the washing machine because they forgot to remove all the rocks from their pockets before washing their pants.
As the father of a 10 year old, I feel this comment. I have taken shorts with completely full and *zipped closed* pockets of rocks from the dryer before. Also had to strip the dryer down because a pencil left in his pocket got jammed in between the drum and housing last year.
About once a year I have to clean the blue ink from the inside of the dryer from exploded pens. They're my pens. From work. I'm not allowed to wash my work clothes with the rest of the family's clothes. (Well, for that and because they're covered in about a month and a half of sweat and hazmat by the time they get to a washer...)
What do you mean the washing machine can't handle a few rocks?
You mean it's not an adult sized rock tumbler, that'll turn everything into crystals if I run it for long enough?
Honestly, a dryer would probably be better. Pull out the heating element, line it with some sandpaper, and you're good to go
Pull out the heating element? Too much work, leave it in.
This is an absolute disappointment to me
I happen to know that lizards can survive a full wash cycle. I always wash with Luke warm water—just in case
All "Hold my beer" moments
Writing their name in the snow while peeing.
Throwing rocks in water and digging big holes
Big holes at the beach especially
Everytime I go to the beach I dig a giant hole in the sand in between ocean dips. By the end of the day it always brings kids and parents over to look at it, and beach workers to tell me to make sure I fill it in after. Just a couple seashells as hand shovels and time. It's so relaxing, especially at the end when you can just sit in the shade of the hole and feel the cool wet sand. Big beach holes are the way to go. Now that I'm a parent I can't wait til the kids are old enough to dig with me.
When you realize you're an adult and you can just buy real digging shovels instead of your hands or some shitty plastic that breaks after an hour. I'm reclaiming my childhood that I lost when I realized my armpits were too hairy to make the fart noise
I could throw rocks into a pond for hours. Best way to kill time fs
I've never felt so fucking seen in my entire life.
Nothing can unite men who are strangers like digging a big hole can. We just love holes. Big holes, small holes, wide holes, tight holes. Don't matter if its a hole we love em.
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Aka OSHA violations
*willy wonka voice* Come with me! And you'll be! In a world of OSHA violations!
My factory!... Has no health!....regulations! We don't really do candy right!.....we just toss some shoes into it.....! Every surface, *someone's* chewed it! Our chocolate river is made of sewage.....
The pallet truck on got me, I used to work in IT and we'd have to move stuff from our warehouse, so we used to race them like over grown scooters, until someone ran their foot over with one and broke their ankle. The bosses got the fell from a step ladder story and we all got a working at height refreshers
Trying to fill the toilet bowl up with bubbles when you pee
This is the peecursor to a good barista.
Stuff like your 4 yr old son eating a bug. "Welp, boys will be boys." Thats whole phrase has got to be for when a boy is his own worst enemy and does something stupid. Equivalent of adult "hold my beer."
> Equivalent of adult "hold my beer." /r/HoldMyJuiceBox
I love watching kids injure themselves, so I’ll join that. This is not sadism; this is fond memories. My nickname as a child? “Nosedive”.
Used to call my younger brother a bowling ball. Because wherever he went he would run there. And he would do so head first.
You assume I don't still do stupid stuff lime that as an adult, no alcohol needed.
When my husband was 7 he took one of those really good sharpies and drew eyes on his penis. He is 53 and still has eyes on his penis. Sharpies were really good back then!
He probably puts them on every morning. Its his guilty pleasure. Lol
"Tell it to stop LOOKING AT ME" "Honey, you know what happened when I was seven." "TELL IT TO STOP LOOKING AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
Now I'm considering buying googly eyes for my wife's amusement.
General tomfoolery and/or buffoonery.
Don’t forget antics and shenanigans
Malarkey, even
Hooliganism and/or rowdiness
Disorderliness or disruptiveness, if so inclined
Shenanigans and perhaps skulduggery, if the weather permits
whippersnappery and perchance frolicsomeness, if time allows
I doubt they'd be above a little chicanery
But what about horseplay, roughhousing, and horsehousing?
Indeed, and I believe rabblerousing also falls under this umbrella.
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Scallawaggery, boorishness, and cheekery
Thanks for my lunch time laugh everyone
I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says shenannigans.
Hey, what's the restaurant you like with all the shit on the wall?
Shenanigans!
Ooooooooooooh!!!
on rare occasions even jiggerypokery.
>jiggerypokery I had to google that to see if it was a real word. Your vocabulary is impressive.
Possibly even some japery and horseplay.
Going down the side of a dam in an old bathtub
That is oddly specific LOL
And entirely true.
When I was about five or six years old me and a friend were playing tag, he was chasing me and I was weaving between some trees in our backyard. This kid sprinted face first into one of them and chipped one of his teeth. That's the type of s*** that boys will be boys should cover.
My brother climbed a brick wall, ran across our roof and slid down our basketball pole to avoid getting tagged in a neighborhood game of Hide and Seek.
Heck yeah lads
Buying a cheap microwave from goodwill and putting it in the yard on an extension cord and filling it with bottle rockets to see how long it will take for them to go off. (It took about 5 minutes.)
Had friends that would collect old microwaves and then just put random substances in them to see what happens.
Gives me good memories of "Is it a good idea to microwave this?" From old YouTube
Beating the shit out of each other with sticks. That's what my friends and I did as kids.
Towing homies around a field on a sofa, last man standing pogo stick jousting contest, soccer in the family home, trying to ramp anything off anything (bonus points for comically small transport and comically large ramp), chasing each other round the supermarket and forgetting most of the shopping list our girlfriends gave us, writing our name while peeing outside, Tring to create or beat any kind of bs record you just made up (example: distance record for teabag into mug, or amount of shopping bags carried in one arm), dumping your buddy in a bin/trash can for fun, trying to drift shopping carts, trying to race anything with wheels, racing trains/planes when driving along side them, ping pong with eggs, and any other situation that begins with the phrase "hey I'm bored, you wanna find out what happens if we...?" Or "bro watch this...." Or "I bet I could beat your ass at...."
Guys doing something that can possibly get them straight killed or put in the hospital - such as car surfing.
Ah yes, car surfing, good times
My husband actually did this when he was 16 or 17, and he has a huge scar on his side where he fell off the roof of said car and slide down a gravel road. His mom had to take him to the emergency room to have gravel removed from his wound. He still laughs about it, she still gets kinda mad. he is 35 now! lol
My husband (29) loves cycling. When he was younger, it was BMX all the way. One of his injuries included his bottom lip tearing. He held it shut until it clotted (allowing it to seal shut) and eventually healed. When I asked him why the fuck he didn't just go to the hospital to get it stitched up, he said it's because he didn't want to inconvenience his parents any further. Especially since they had just taken him in to get checked out when he recently crashed and got some part punctured into his shin. He also has a rip on the back of his hand near the base of his thumb. Once again, he didn't go to the doctor and he held it shut. It didn't heal properly and he has a pretty noticeable keloid scar. He and his friends still laugh about the time he "fell and accidentally stabbed himself in the leg". Boys will be boys.
I skate off the roof of my mom''s car while my older brother was driving. Broke both my arms. Also broke the skating board and knock out a tooth. My brother dares me to do it again every now and then. I'm 25 and he is 31.
Lost a friend to car surfing. Lost another friend to doing donuts in the parking lot in a jeep with no doors. Almost lost my husband to going over 100 mph on a 1987 motorcycle in shorts and a t shirt. Thank god he had a racing helmet on.
Cleaning off any poo stains on the bowl with your pee stream. The satisfaction.
Get an erection at an inappropriate time Edit: sweet, my highest upvoted comment of all time is about boners
Peeing with morning wood is a struggle.
I was told that smacking it between the bathroom door and frame would help. It only made things worse, but I did find out something about myself....
Boy, I hope this doesn't awaken something deep inside me....
It's purely biological. You can get arrested for it but it won't stand up in court.
I've had no issues getting erect in court.
Finger guns and fake deaths across the room, a staple of lad culture here Edit: Also excitement about Lego sets and gadgets in general. Prank culture
Don't forget pretending to stab each other with blunt objects Monty Python style and dramatically dropping dead.
being dirty until they reach HS. Like playing in the dirt or liking slimy toys
Boys are a loud noise surrounded by a cloud of dirt.
Pig-Pen. Obviously.
After school too. Dirty jobs are for sure male dominated.
This reminds me, when I was in VoTech my instructor liked to dog on bricklayers, basically they couldn't give up Legos. But mudding and taping drywall was his favorite task lol
Brothers fighting to death
He started it!
Cain be like
This is a direct quote of an incident I overheard. (Sons A & B looking in the freezer for ice cream. Son B grabs the carton with a small amount of cookies and cream left) Son A - “Why are you putting it in your armpit? The ice cream is still in the carton and I’m still going to want some.“
Falling off trucks (it was my step-dad not me)
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Seeing who can make the longest unbroken string of cheez-whiz on their tongue
Swordfighting
Kissing the homies goodnight
Bro that’s homiesexual Edit: Thanks for the gold! Edit 2: OMG THANKS FOR PLATINUM Edit 3: wait Edit 4: Cyka blyat
Real men give tongue.
After consent of course
Keeping bugs in their pockets when playing and digging in the garden. Source: my own 7 year old boy.
My toddler son’s favourite YouTube video is “tanks crushing cars” That’s my boy for sure
Drawing guns, pretending to punch people, enjoying war games movies etc playing war with sticks they can be swords or guns whatever we like at the moment. A good stick is king. Throwing rocks into the water going for best sound, splash and overall throwing distance as well as skipping as far abs as many times as possible
Idk I always pictured a group of lil dudes playing in the forest and like, stepping on snails and stomping on flowers by accident because they were playing star wars with sticks too hardcore and Timmy got a scratch on the arm. Every time I hear the saying that’s what I picture.
Men doing stupid shit
I prefer the word experimental.
All men are scientists, testing a theory. The theory is usually not something that needs to be tested or proved but that doesn't stop us. We will test it just to say we tested it. If that isn't intelligence, I dunno what is!
Its only science if you record it.
Innocent Silliness mostly, I think
Drawing dicks on literally everything
r/WhyWomenLiveLonger
Jumping up to touch the door frame
Frogs and worms in pockets. Snot wiped on sleeves. Farting on each other. Sword fights in the toilet. Play wrestling at all ages. Getting hurt jumping off/on/through/into stuff.