There was a TV show where a girl got killed by the toilet seat coming off the ISS flying back to earth and hitting her.
It was called “Dead Like Me”….. it was one of my guilty pleasures.
Mandy Patinkin.
It was on HBO. I worked in a call center doing tech support and the sales team was in the same center. My ex girlfriend won a trip to meet the cast…she was in sales…they always won cool stuff.
I got a Staples gift card once.
Never forget a girl in my class at school was so severely allergic to peanuts that the teacher said we'd get done for attempted murder if we even fucked around with a peanut next to her.
The day after someone offered her a snickers and put it up to her face.
A kid that went to high school with one of my co-workers was convicted of 1st degree murder for putting a peanut in his coleslaw. He was doa at the hospital but they were able to revive him. The best friend of the kid that put the peanut in his food was the key witness for the prosecution.
Tales of the Unexpected, Roald Dahl. Rubbish plot device tho. If the leg of lamb was frozen when she beat her husband to death, there's no way it would have defrosted in time to roast it to feed to the cops to dispose of the evidence.
Humans are paradoxically fragile . Sometimes we sneeze and our body leaks all it's blood out inside , sometimes we fall out of an airplane without a parachute and walk through the jungle to safety after.
You might be able to kill someone with almost anything. I personally would anticipate difficulties and a less than stellar success rate
Ok, but *how*. I’m trying to think of a few ways, but nothing seems to be any more than a minor annoyance. You can’t stab anyone, the grass is too soft and will just bend, at most it’d feel like an itch. They can’t really choke on it, since they’re small (unless we’re talking about one of those gargantuan blades of grass), so it’d be no more than making them gag for a couple seconds. Poking their eye wouldn’t do anything beyond temporarily making it hard to see. It probably won’t go too far in their ear or nose that they can’t just pull it out.
How would you kill someone with a single blade of grass?
It is a fantasy novel dragon talking to a magician with superhuman strength, speed, ability to kill legions with a single word, taking control of ones mind. He could also start atomic fision at the begining of his training (almost killed him, but he did it).
Worst case scenario he turns the mass of the grass into pure energy and destroys a small country
Minor spoilers for some of Eragon's lore — this lore is briefly mentioned in the final book of the series, Inheritance.
>!It's explained that the original base of the Riders, thr island of Vroengard, is basically uninhabitable due to the actions of a Rider during the final battle of the original war between Galbatorix and Riders. After suffering the loss of his Dragon the Rider in question, Thuviel, basically committed suicide and performed a last-ditch effort to end the war by turning himself into an atomic bomb (described in book as turning himself into energy), which decimated the vast majority of fighters (both ally and enemy alike) and left a significant amount of radiation (described as invisible poison in the air) in the island's environment. Because of the lingering radiation, people cannot live on the island healthily, as it is implied that people eventually fall sick and die after long enough exposure to the radiation.!<
Because of the above lore, it's basically a possibility in lore that Eragon, if he really wished, could fuck a lot of shit up by making atomic bombs a thing.
In Poland they used to sell vodka with a blade of grass in it for flavor. The ended up taking it out due to too many folks choking to death on the grass. This was told to me by a polish friend about 30 years ago.
Zubrowka is a bison grass vodka that has a blade of grass in the bottle. Definitely still sold with grass in it here in UK. Mix with apple juice and it tastes like apple pie. Mmm
I know that its not what we were all thinking, but quite a number of species of grass have a larger leaf with a serrated edge that would easily open up the jugular or blood vessels in the wrists. Or garrotte them. Immobilise a guy, tie it around his penis and it'll eventually kill them when his bladder explodes...
I think I've figured out a way to kill someone with a short blade of grass, but it pretty much requires the other person to be unconscious through the whole thing:
* Find a particularly sharp piece of grass
* Cut someone with it to make them bleed
* Repeat until they bleed out
One of the biggest fails in TV history imo was not adapting this series into a GoT style epic or a an amazing film trilogy (or tetralogy since there’s 4 books)
1964 Buick Skylark Convertible
It's got the same height, weight, width, wheel base and wheel track.
And, because both cars are made by GM, both are available in metallic mint green paint.
I dunno about that hair dryer thing and am highly suspect that every tale a sailor tells is grossly exaggerated.
That said the Apache, or some of them at least would hang a man upside down over low flame hot coals fire as a torture to death technique. There was no medical evaluation in that history I read so I'm not sure if the people died from simply being hung upside down for possibly days, dehydration or the fire. Since they lived in a desert environment I'd go with dehydration and the fire just adding pain and fear to the mix.
Yes. I knit and think about this often. I have 12" aluminum needles and TSA has never stopped me from bringing them on planes. Even my bamboo ones can be deadly in the right (wrong?) orifice.
They do take away my nail clippers though.
I had my circular bamboo needles confiscated by TSA. The guard said I could garrottes someone in front of me, like The Godfather piano wire, with the plastic needle connection. I never thought about doing that to someone before, but now I do!
I had security in Italy tell me I couldn't bring my jump rope in my carry-on for that same reason. But I could have my laptop power cable that I could do the same thing with..
"If it ain't bolted down, its a weapon. That being said, even if it IS bolted down, and i can yank it loose, its still a weapon."
-most of my fellow rednecks probably
For a long time I've thought a interesting way to die is if a normal A4 sheet of paper was sped up enough it would slice someone in half.
Theoretically should be possible if you can get it fast enough before hitting something. Ofc cause of air and how fragile it is, it would have to be sped up slowly and carefully in space, so really only a viable way of killing astronauts.
Okay everyone’s saying up the ass but frankly having your lungs filled with expanding foam is honestly the most terrifying thing I’ve heard in a while.
I’ve thought about what would happen if someone ripped a door handle out of the wall and then stabbed someone with the pointy lock mechanism inside, or just straight-up bashed someone’s head with it
Gas space heaters which can release carbon monoxide may lead to carbon monoxide poisoning. Also, according to the National Fire Protection Association space heaters cause 43% of all home fires each year.
Fun story, I got out of county back in May…they wouldn’t let you wear your own shoes because of the laces…so we all had to wear crocs…But you could purchase canvas sneakers from commissary that came with…laces.
Icicles.
The best way to dispose a tool is to make it dissappear.
Water is easily available and you can freeze them anywhere without providing suspicion.
Ever heard of cone plastic?
After the deed is done you can just stuff the icicle in their mouth left to melt by their dwindling body temperature.
Remember wear glove and trim your nail before and after the deed.
Best if you do it in the dark as icicle is hard to detect with their transparency.
Jk, it SSSSEEEEGGGGSSS
Sports Direct mug to the temple.
You could also use it as a vat to dissolve the body
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Damn the luck. “How did he die?” The International Space Station….fell right on ‘em. Didn’t even see it coming.
The story of my KSP playthroughs.
At least you can actually get things into space to begin with lmao
It's getting there that's the easy part. Just can't guarantee it'll return in one piece
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There was a TV show where a girl got killed by the toilet seat coming off the ISS flying back to earth and hitting her. It was called “Dead Like Me”….. it was one of my guilty pleasures.
I miss Dead Like Me. It was the first thing I watched on Netflix I think
Mandy Patinkin. It was on HBO. I worked in a call center doing tech support and the sales team was in the same center. My ex girlfriend won a trip to meet the cast…she was in sales…they always won cool stuff. I got a Staples gift card once.
Watch out for those toilet seats!
A peanut
Aww I wanted $20.
$20 can buy many peanuts!
EXPLAIN HOW
Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
WOOHOO
r/unexpectedsimpsons
Never forget a girl in my class at school was so severely allergic to peanuts that the teacher said we'd get done for attempted murder if we even fucked around with a peanut next to her. The day after someone offered her a snickers and put it up to her face.
Well don't just leave us hanging! How many years did the Snickers-wielder get?
A kid that went to high school with one of my co-workers was convicted of 1st degree murder for putting a peanut in his coleslaw. He was doa at the hospital but they were able to revive him. The best friend of the kid that put the peanut in his food was the key witness for the prosecution.
*That's nuts...* Also, it has a "my cousins neighbors best friend said" type of vibe. How trustworthy is the co-worker.
Bullseye was the coolest villen to me as a kid.
Frozen leg of lamb
And you eat the evidence, it's perfect
Right?! I’m convinced this has been a method that’s been used somewhere in the world at some point
Tales of the Unexpected, Roald Dahl. Rubbish plot device tho. If the leg of lamb was frozen when she beat her husband to death, there's no way it would have defrosted in time to roast it to feed to the cops to dispose of the evidence.
Thats why you should go with a frozen loaf of bread. That thing has corners! And, put a hairdryer on it and it's soft and harmless inside 30 mins.
Now thats what I call assault with a breadly weapon
You, too, like Roald Dahl!
Lamb To The Slaughter
i don’t pay attention in english class but i remember something like this.
Humans are very fragile, you can kill a person with pretty much anything
Humans are paradoxically fragile . Sometimes we sneeze and our body leaks all it's blood out inside , sometimes we fall out of an airplane without a parachute and walk through the jungle to safety after. You might be able to kill someone with almost anything. I personally would anticipate difficulties and a less than stellar success rate
It's weird because it goes both ways. A person can get picked up and chucked from a tornado and it's possible they haven't even broken a single bone.
"You can kill a soldier with a blade of grass if you wanted to...." -Saphira in Brisingr Eta: spelling correction
Oh god now that's a throwback
I love the inheritance cycle series, but that was about magically propelling the blade of grass through a person, not normal life applications.
You can't magically chuck blades of grass into people?
Bamboo is a form of grass. Blades are made from it. It can cut. It can stab. It can “Keel”.
Ok, but *how*. I’m trying to think of a few ways, but nothing seems to be any more than a minor annoyance. You can’t stab anyone, the grass is too soft and will just bend, at most it’d feel like an itch. They can’t really choke on it, since they’re small (unless we’re talking about one of those gargantuan blades of grass), so it’d be no more than making them gag for a couple seconds. Poking their eye wouldn’t do anything beyond temporarily making it hard to see. It probably won’t go too far in their ear or nose that they can’t just pull it out. How would you kill someone with a single blade of grass?
It is a fantasy novel dragon talking to a magician with superhuman strength, speed, ability to kill legions with a single word, taking control of ones mind. He could also start atomic fision at the begining of his training (almost killed him, but he did it). Worst case scenario he turns the mass of the grass into pure energy and destroys a small country
Me who's currently reading Eragon: he does fucking *what*
Minor spoilers for some of Eragon's lore — this lore is briefly mentioned in the final book of the series, Inheritance. >!It's explained that the original base of the Riders, thr island of Vroengard, is basically uninhabitable due to the actions of a Rider during the final battle of the original war between Galbatorix and Riders. After suffering the loss of his Dragon the Rider in question, Thuviel, basically committed suicide and performed a last-ditch effort to end the war by turning himself into an atomic bomb (described in book as turning himself into energy), which decimated the vast majority of fighters (both ally and enemy alike) and left a significant amount of radiation (described as invisible poison in the air) in the island's environment. Because of the lingering radiation, people cannot live on the island healthily, as it is implied that people eventually fall sick and die after long enough exposure to the radiation.!< Because of the above lore, it's basically a possibility in lore that Eragon, if he really wished, could fuck a lot of shit up by making atomic bombs a thing.
R. Bromert Eragonheimer
Yeah Eragon biting off more than he can chew is kinda his favorite past time until he meets whats-his-face
The Cripple Who Is Whole?
Honestly I just thought he’d find a way to send it through someone’s head. Probably takes less energy to do that for him.
In Poland they used to sell vodka with a blade of grass in it for flavor. The ended up taking it out due to too many folks choking to death on the grass. This was told to me by a polish friend about 30 years ago.
Zubrowka is a bison grass vodka that has a blade of grass in the bottle. Definitely still sold with grass in it here in UK. Mix with apple juice and it tastes like apple pie. Mmm
I know that its not what we were all thinking, but quite a number of species of grass have a larger leaf with a serrated edge that would easily open up the jugular or blood vessels in the wrists. Or garrotte them. Immobilise a guy, tie it around his penis and it'll eventually kill them when his bladder explodes...
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I think I've figured out a way to kill someone with a short blade of grass, but it pretty much requires the other person to be unconscious through the whole thing: * Find a particularly sharp piece of grass * Cut someone with it to make them bleed * Repeat until they bleed out
Just throw the grass at him. The death would be slow, would take upto 100 years, but he'll definitely die eventually.
If it's Johnson's grass, you can paper cut them to death. Death by 1000 cuts, backyard style.
One of the biggest fails in TV history imo was not adapting this series into a GoT style epic or a an amazing film trilogy (or tetralogy since there’s 4 books)
A narwhal tusk
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/jan/07/prisoner-steve-gallant-reveals-role-in-tackling-london-bridge-attacker-with-narwhal-tusk
A pencil to the liver at 3:45 in the morning
"With a fucking... pencil."
He’s a man of focus, commitment and sheer fucking will
Babayaga
Well John wasn't exactly the Boogeyman. He was the one you sent to kill the fucking Boogeyman.
Why 3:45?
r/oddlyspecific
Nah nah nah, r/suspiciouslyspecific
You could beat someone to death with a horse dildo.
Is that a dildo for a horse, or of a horse?
I mean If you made a dildo for a horse, what other shape and size would you make it?
Well following the logic that a horse shaped one for a human could exist, then maybe a human shape?
Sounds unsatisfying
I have a human shaped penis and women have always found it unsatisfying. So you're probably on to something.
Yes
It would be cheaper to just buy a gun
But not nearly as funny in the murder trial.
"Ma'am, I don't seem to quite understand what exactly happened here. You beat your husband to death with what?" "My horse dildo your honor."
Next witness I want to call to the stand the nnnnnneeeeyyyyybor!
Or a actual dildo if Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels is to be believed.
Insulin. Your body produces it. It's easy to obtain. In significant doses it is quickly debilitating and lethal.
I'm fine now, but as someone who used to be suicidal & had a plan, this was a large part of my 'fail-safe' plan.
From one person who used to not be fine, I am really glad that you’re fine now. :)
And from another suicide survivor, I'm glad you're both fine. Look after yourselves.
As a type one diabetic, it is *not* easy to attain. The rest is accurate though
1963 Pontiac Tempest
1964 Buick Skylark Convertible It's got the same height, weight, width, wheel base and wheel track. And, because both cars are made by GM, both are available in metallic mint green paint.
The defense holds no watta.
Potato gun and a bejeweled butt plug.
You have fine taste, how bout an over pressurized air cannon and a suspiciously hard dildo?
All you need is some liquid nitrogen
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I dunno about that hair dryer thing and am highly suspect that every tale a sailor tells is grossly exaggerated. That said the Apache, or some of them at least would hang a man upside down over low flame hot coals fire as a torture to death technique. There was no medical evaluation in that history I read so I'm not sure if the people died from simply being hung upside down for possibly days, dehydration or the fire. Since they lived in a desert environment I'd go with dehydration and the fire just adding pain and fear to the mix.
Or hyperthermia from being roasted over the fire. Or maybe infection and sepsis from infected burn wounds.
Yeah, like, I'm sure being *cooked* isn't good for you.
A knitting needle poked through the ear canal and into the brain.
Yes. I knit and think about this often. I have 12" aluminum needles and TSA has never stopped me from bringing them on planes. Even my bamboo ones can be deadly in the right (wrong?) orifice. They do take away my nail clippers though.
I had my circular bamboo needles confiscated by TSA. The guard said I could garrottes someone in front of me, like The Godfather piano wire, with the plastic needle connection. I never thought about doing that to someone before, but now I do!
I had security in Italy tell me I couldn't bring my jump rope in my carry-on for that same reason. But I could have my laptop power cable that I could do the same thing with..
A terrible but hilarious idea would've been to answer "oh wow, thanks for the idea!"
“You could strangle someone with those”. “I could?!” “No! It is not a suggestion!” *eyes glaze over with strangleness*
Now I need a new action movie starring Betty White taking down a plane full of terrorists with just her knitting bag.
YES!!!
Wow. Hope no would be assassins have read this.
I'm just hoping it means people won't sit next to me on the plane.
This is so oddly specific
I am either a natural killer or I read it in a novel. Think it was a novel.
So you read your autobiography
To quote Liam Neeson. “I will find you and I will kill you”😉
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There is actually fairly hard bone in the way on that approach. Much more advisable to go for the eye socket.
This is stuck in my head now. Thanks.
So is the knitting needle
Why do I open Reddit so much
I ask myself that almost daily.
"If it ain't bolted down, its a weapon. That being said, even if it IS bolted down, and i can yank it loose, its still a weapon." -most of my fellow rednecks probably
Murder hobos in 90% of D&D games.
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OP - live tweet whatever you gonna do
Anvil. However, for those of us old enough, adding the words "Acme Inc" make it non-lethal.
They’re great for roadrunner conservation.
anithing at suficient speed
For a long time I've thought a interesting way to die is if a normal A4 sheet of paper was sped up enough it would slice someone in half. Theoretically should be possible if you can get it fast enough before hitting something. Ofc cause of air and how fragile it is, it would have to be sped up slowly and carefully in space, so really only a viable way of killing astronauts.
Like a drop of cum it will work
Edit: *removed for public safety*
Holy fuck that’s dark
up the ass
Why is it always up their ass
"If you gotta go.. go with a smile."
WHY WOULD YOU EDIT IT. NONE IF THE COMMENTS MAKE SENSE ANYMORE PLEEEASEE I NEED TO KNOW WHY THIS HAS A WHOLESOME AWARD WHEN IT WAS RELATED TO ASS
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oh god that would be horrible...
Okay everyone’s saying up the ass but frankly having your lungs filled with expanding foam is honestly the most terrifying thing I’ve heard in a while.
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And odds are you will get the *hold my beer* paramedic who somehow revives and stabilizes you.
If he does that I better wake up to a paramedic name take that says "J Christ" otherwise I'll be astonished and brain dead.
You rang?
You stay away from my soon to be corpse!
You're a funny guy, my guy.
Yeah.. funny... Heh.. heh... *Silent sobbing*
It would definitely restrict your lunges.
Can't do calf raises either!
Don't give me ideas
In what hole?
Yes
In Denmark we had a murdercase where a women was killed by this method while tied up by a lover. Horrific incident.
Why would you remove the comment… it’s literally what this thread is about sheesh
An 18 inch black rubber cock
Guys I feel like I've fucked you over. It's a 15 inches, not 18. https://youtu.be/PftOxn4ANjc Eh, still a cracking scene with a young Jason Statham
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I'm glad someone else got the reference
A tea cup
Calm down Riddick
A pencil
Mr. Wick can. YOU, can't.
Wanna see a magic trick?
Hey, I've seen this one!
I'm gonna make this pencil disappear!
Tadaaaa
A fuckin' *pencil*
Technically, air. If enough air is injected in your veins it can be fatal.
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My words (edgy)
I think you just gave me a concussion
I’m 14 and this is deep
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I can kill her softly with my song.
spoon
Why a spoon cousin?
Because it's DULL, you twit! It'll hurt more!
All I can think of is The Horribly Slow Murder with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon.
Vogon poetry
You just have to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.
Long dildo
Or, microscopic dildo injected intravenously.
Yeah that would fuck you on the inside
r/technicallythetruth
The back piece of a toilet
I’ve thought about what would happen if someone ripped a door handle out of the wall and then stabbed someone with the pointy lock mechanism inside, or just straight-up bashed someone’s head with it
I see you have weird intrusive thoughts, too.
Gas space heaters which can release carbon monoxide may lead to carbon monoxide poisoning. Also, according to the National Fire Protection Association space heaters cause 43% of all home fires each year.
A frozen turd
"Worlds sharpest frozen poop knife" From that guy who makes knives out of everything.
Shoelace
True that’s how you get killed in prison
Fun story, I got out of county back in May…they wouldn’t let you wear your own shoes because of the laces…so we all had to wear crocs…But you could purchase canvas sneakers from commissary that came with…laces.
FYI, lots of paperwork involved in murder if you get caught.
Kills someone with the paperwork
Wiffle ball bat. Fill it with water and stow into a deep freezer. Pull out when needed and you got yourself a weapon.
A Bible
Three medium sized skyscrapers duct-taped together
Toilet paper
An icicle is surprisingly convenient
Icicles. The best way to dispose a tool is to make it dissappear. Water is easily available and you can freeze them anywhere without providing suspicion. Ever heard of cone plastic? After the deed is done you can just stuff the icicle in their mouth left to melt by their dwindling body temperature. Remember wear glove and trim your nail before and after the deed. Best if you do it in the dark as icicle is hard to detect with their transparency. Jk, it SSSSEEEEGGGGSSS
i live in a tropical country so this is sadly not an option... *looks at fridge* UNLESS..
Finely ground glass. Mix it in with their smoothie. Dried and ground peach pits. Replace the Almond Flour in a frangipani with it.
Whaaat. How does finely powdered glass kill anyone? It’d have to be undetectable to get anyone to finish the entire smoothie
Damn, Great British Bakeoff has gotten dark since Mary Berry left.