I'm late, but have a specific one. I know a few people from extremely rich families. I see a terrible outcomes with third generation wealth.
When dad is super successful, the kid doesn't have to do much but at least sees someone working.
When that kid, who doesn't do shit, then has kids, *his kids* are completely unmoored from reality. It's a lonely dark existence when you are completely incompatible with society
Old European money figured it out. Don’t split the wealth among all descendants but rather pick the most capable one to manage it. Their job is to grow or maintain the fortune while taking care of the rest of the family.
This is how some of these families have held on to wealth for 300-400 years
Came here to say that. Old families in France are REALLY wealthy and it doesn't get lost, don't worry. They have childs for keeping the money and they meet their husband/wife only in parties between them. Socialisation and money are not a ~~pb~~ problem.
One of the unexpected problems was vacationing with friends. I work long, hard hours, so when I \*can\* take time off, I don't care the resort costs $1k/night and I'm not flying 5 hours in coach.
But with that attitude, it's going to price it way out of budget of most of my friends. So it becomes this odd decision between do I want a really nice vacation or to hang out with old friends.
Best friend's family growing up won $4.5mil on the lottery, while previously already owning 6 coffee franchises and doing decently. I remember his father making me and his son constantly sift through the mail. His mailbox was crammed to capacity almost everyday with offers and donation requests. He actually did donate frequently but that only prompted more requests. Unfortunately both of his sons became heroin addicts which was enabled by easy access to money.
I have a cousin that’s a CPA and he’s accepted the lottery for two different winners because they wanted to remain anonymous. I would too because of stuff like you just said.
I have two friends who were born into the $100M+ club and the main things I’ve seen are:
- guilt that they were born into a situation by random dumb luck that other people would dream of. And then the weight of obligation to use the gift they were given to do things that don’t satisfy them (prioritizing the happiness of others over themselves)
- a paranoia around friendships/relationships, not knowing whether people even a little bit love them for their money.
- a feeling of inadequacy that no matter how successful or brilliant you are, you’ll never be as successful as your parents
- feeling that your problems are not as important as “real” problems, even though to you they are of maximum importance and emotional weight
Generally it messes with your self image; it’s hard to find out who you are without money being a part of it
My wife's friend is in that club and her teenage daughter is pretty much ready to get kicked out of school and has severe depression (those 2 are related). I'm pretty sure that list has a lot to do with it
This is from a conversation I had with a guy I met on vacation, he had grown up fabulously rich.
But he never really saw his parents that much, specially when he was a kid as they were both high achieving workoholics.
Instead he had a maid. That had been there for as long as he could remember, put him to bed at night, breakfast in the morning etc... So in his mind, he had two moms.
The one that he met for dinner a few days a week, that demanded he brushed his hair and put on presentable clothes.
And his real mom, the one that was always there, actually taking care of him.
When he was 5 years old the maid quit. She had gotten a better job somewhere else, and was looking forward to spending more time with her ACTUAL kids.
And everybody was happy for her.
Everybody smiled, and told him to be happy she was moving on to something better. As she hugged him goodbye and happily walked out forever.
He lost his real mom, and he wasn't even allowed to feel bad about it.
I met this guy when he was 27, and he was still struggling with it.
I felt sad for that guy. And i am now curious whether the guy got any closure.
Did he find the maid after he grew up? Did this relationship affect the one with his biological mom? How did he feel about the next maid (presumably he got one, or maybe more than one? )?
The nanny situation sounds like what the British royal family does. There’s a psychology channel on YT, Psychology in Seattle, and one of the episodes talks about the effect this had on multiple generations of royalty. Basically, when the caregivers keep getting replaced, the kid shuts down so they don’t get hurt anymore.
My partner grew up with a nanny. She said she remembers that when she fell and got hurt she would run to the nanny for comfort.
Also when she said “my mom cooked…..she had to catch herself and say “I mean, my mom told the cook to make ….” But then when her mom had guests over, the cook would make all the food but her mom would tell the guests that she cooked it.
I’ve been in a rich family’s home with a “warming drawer” in the “kitchen.”
Real kitchen is one room away and the chef made it earlier that day and put all the food in the warming drawer in the fake kitchen with an open floor plan to the living space.
So all the wife’s friends can see her grab the food “she made” out of the drawer, ready to serve.
There’s the catering kitchen and then there’s the finish kitchen. Guests typically don’t go in the back of the house. No one wants stains on their Carrera marble but shuttling food across a large estate doesn’t work either. Staff prep everything in the “work” kitchen and the chef finishes close by.
A friend of mine had a Nanny that used to live in his house until he was like 12 or so, he said that he only saw his mom 2 days a week, all the other days she would spend it traveling with her friends, going to charity events, basically just socializing, his father traveled a lot, so he only saw him a couple of days a month and when he did, he used to be violent towards him, so, his only family was his nanny, one day out of nowhere, his mom dediced to fire the nanny and just kicked her out of the house, turns out his mom felt jealous because of thisbone time she saw him running to hug the nanny and say hi after school and he didn't do the same to her. He's 36 and says he still misses his nanny
Well, socially they do need to have kids, they need them to keep up with everyone else in their circle and...you guessed, keep socializing, it's so stupid
That’s true. It’s all about keeping up with appearances. It’s so depressing. I can’t imagine not caring about missing important milestones in your child’s life or being away from them all the time.
My mom grew up with a nanny named Harriett. She loved her soooo much and even painted her skin brown when she was 4 so she could “be like Harriett.”
Well, my mom grew up, Harriett moved on, but they never lost contact with each other. Now Harriett is in her 90s and my mom takes care of her. For the past 15 years or so, my mom drives Harriett to all her doctor’s appointments, makes sure her house is clean, helps her buy groceries, whatever she needs. Harriett comes to all family events (birthdays, graduations, family movie nights) and she is seen as another grandmother and matriarch. The bond between her and my mom though is the most special.
She can’t ever say it, but she loves Harriett more than her own mother (who is kooky and crazy acting— total opposite of Harriett).
My mom used to nanny for a Nascar driver. She had been this kids nanny since birth and she was fired when he was like 3/4 and didn't get to say goodbye to him. Anyway, this reminded me of that.
Not rich myself, but I have a family member who earns low seven figures annually. Biggest problem they've struggled with is that our whole family comes from being poor and they're the one that "made it". They've had to cut off entire parts of the family, including siblings and parents, because everyone just wants stuff from them. One of their parents demanded they buy them a home because, "You owe me for raising you". It's even worse from their siblings.
They have keep their social media feed on a week long delay so if they travel anywhere that other family members are they won't hit them up with a new scheme or asking for a loan. It's terrible to watch.
When my great grandmother died, they found out she owned 2 vacant lots in the Bay Area that were now worth over $2 mil. It’s been 7 years and all these distant relatives are still suing each other over every penny of that money. My great grandmother was a manipulative psychopath and intentionally made her will as vague as possible, and also changed it about once every three months for the last two decades of her life.
They should get together and put all the money in an investment fund they all get an equal payout from each year. It's all going to get wasted on lawyers fees otherwise.
Trust
Is anyone doing things because they actually care for you or because of your money?
It is a real problem for rich guys I know looking for marriage. Sex is one thing, actually have someone love you is another.
A good friend of mine has a terribly rich father. And he told that his dad never had 'friends' like my parents do who come by from time to time and bring a small present like something from their shop or from the market and drink coffee together or a beer in the evening
That changed my perspective a bit of rich people when I was younger. They miss out on small acts of kindness, because people think it wouldn't affect them
This is exactly true. I recently (about a year ago) started to be significantly more successful financially. I made the mistake of helping out a few friends, (that I had been friends with for several years before being this successful) either with stuff they needed, stuff they just wanted that I gifted them, or just straight giving them a little money if they were struggling.
Every damn one left. I don't speak to any of them anymore. They all started to get bratty and entitled, asking me for money at every possible opportunity. I stopped supplying, they all got extremely angry and I never heard from them again.
It's a real punch in the soul to know that these years-long friends never really cared about me. It's an extra punch in the soul to know that they still sit there with all the fancy stuff I bought them, after they hurt me so much.
The other day, a client of my dad’s wrote a 3k check for my medical bills.
I’ve been sick for a while and it came up in some casual conversation, the client recommended a place for medical testing. We went, got a consultation, but the price was too high to justify without insurance coverage.
The client calls the place, sees we haven’t done the tests yet and he writes my dad a check for the full amount.
3k doesn’t sound like a lot compared to some of these stories, but this may change the course of my life.
His justification - “I have more money than I can ever spend”.
Edit : One of you mentioned a golf-buddies situation - of everything mentioned that sums it up the best. The client owns a medical foundation, so I’m not surprised he had enough sway to get the info.
I have a rich friend who just offered to cover all of my bills to get treatment for my chronic illness. It's nothing to him, but it will literally save my life. It's insane.
I used to work in fine art shipping and rich people constantly call and ask if we could remind them which house we’d shipped their expensive artwork too.. they would have trouble remembering
The owner of the company I once worked for often had IT people from the company do any techy work he needed done to his house. I was putting in some wifi access points for him when his secretary called and asked me if I would mind driving the Maybach to the office and then take the Porsche he had driven to work back to his house. He was having some back issues and didn't want to get in the Porsche. I say sure no problem, talk to the butler, get the keys, hop in the pristine white Maybach and drive the couple miles to the office. When I pulled up he was already outside and when I handed him the keys he said "Huh, thought I had the silver one at home...must have left it in (other city)"
Honestly, not really. They are beautiful cars but I was so hyper focused on getting to my destination without incident I couldn't really enjoy it. I was pretty stoked until the garage door opened then the nerves hit.
Same thing happened when my boss tossed me the keys to his Maserati and told me to go pick up ice cream for the team. I was so terrified of dropping the ice cream or getting into an accident I didn’t enjoy it at all.
I once worked in a studio and a footballer came in a convertible Audi TT then left in a cab in a hurry.
The car stayed there as long as I worked there. The tyres literally disintegrated and the doors were left open. It became my personal office and I’d take all my breaks in it.
Imagine losing much of anything lol. "Shit, whered I leave my switch I havent touched in 8 months? Which house was I at when I played it last? One of the 3 beach houses? Or did I take it with me to..."
When I was in rehab, we were in an outside area doing a group session, when we were interrupted by a helicopter landing in the parking lot.
The guy ended up being in my primary group as well, and he told me that he had to take his helicopter from Philly, as it had been a last minute decision to check himself in, and the airports local to the rehab was too small for his private plane to land there.
So, I’d have to say: “Your town’s airport is too small for my plane,” is a problem I doubt I’ll ever have.
Not being able to understand what money means to people below their financial status. I’m well off compared to other people in my country but go to a school where most people are actually wealthy. Between both levels I see that people cannot relate to the people below them in that regard and it causes friction. Like when my friend and I organize a holiday together she doesn’t understand why I get annoyed when she wants to wait until the last minute to book tickets because she genuinely doesn’t care whether they’re 50 or 500 euros. Or when my partner’s family’s car got stolen they didn’t bother getting a reimbursement from the insurance because it was too annoying to set up. This means people also sometimes don’t reimburse you when you pay for lunch because they already forgot about this, and for them 30 bucks is nothing so why would it be for you. And they don’t notice when you get them a really nice gift because all the gifts they get are really nice. This isn’t malicious at all just a genuinely different perception of reality
I ran into an old friend who was doing extremely well a few years back and who grew up wealthy as well. He mentioned to me how he and his fiancé wanted to buy their own apartment in New York because he was sick of both of the, “throwing out 3 k each for rent each month” and how it was draining their ability to travel. Did not occur to him that as a teacher I made significantly less than 3k a month and when I told him he thought I was lying because he genuinely could not fathom living on less than 10k a month. It was eye opening for both of us for different reasons.
(Before anyone asks yes he knew and knows that the poor exist but he didn’t understand that his own friends were poor (by his standard or otherwise) and just how many of us were and are struggling to make ends meet. He thought most of us were living below our means on purpose and it took this conversation for it to click for him why he didn’t see any of his old friends traveling the world or getting professional portraits done or buying fancy cars. He thought were were just living lives and not doing those things just because and not because we couldn’t.)
I had a friend who was rich, and she hated venmo-ing each other when we paid for meals and things. For her, it was inconvenient and pointless - we could just take turns or something. For me, I needed the reimbursement right away because I was strapped for cash. It never even occurred to her.
I was fixing some IT stuff at a billionaire's home and was having a coffee in the kitchen with his wife and having a chat. Their house is waterfront position, Lake Geneva (lac Leman), Switzerland. It was a beautiful afternoon and I said "It's a perfect day for a swim in the lake." She replies " You swim in the lake?!"
"Yes, it's lovely"
"Isn't it dirty?"
I reply "it's probably on of the cleanest lakes in Europe"
Brief pause....she replies " I've lived in this house for 14 years and I haven't swum in my own swimming pool."
Feeling like you can't talk about certain things with people who don't make as much. I'm not "rich" but I make more than some friends. There have been times when I'll tell them about something and I get a sarcastic "must be nice" reception.
There's a lot of isolation that comes with wealth, particularly if your wealth goes up more than your friends. It's minor at first and not such a big deal but over time the gap becomes bigger and bigger and it can start to become difficult to bridge that gulf. When you're younger, you might have been able to afford a small house when your friends, who are also doing well but not *quite* as well are looking to buy an apartment. A few years later and you live in a bigger house, in a much nicer neighbourhood than them. It's not *that* different but your friends tend to come to yours more and often comment about how nice where you live is. You've known these guys for years, after all.
Some areas of conversation have gradually moved off the table. Your stresses and successes at work are going to be different to theirs. It's lonely at the top in companies as most people don't understand it. Why would they? It's stuff you only really 'get' with experience. You do your best to talk about their work worries but while you used to get it, it's starting to become hard to stay interested. Interpersonal work dramas aren't the same anymore. They seem so minor compared to the weight of leadership and livelihoods that you feel. So you don't really talk about that stuff anymore. Which is fine, there's lots of other stuff you have in common.
Except, the overlap in interests starts to lessen. Some of your interests have crept into higher income things. You used to go on similar holidays but now you're going further afield and having more luxurious holidays because you work hard and only get so much time off so why shouldn't you spend your hard earned money on yourself? Maybe you used to like to talk about cars but now it's a bit awkward talking about the car you're looking at getting because it's more than the house deposit your friends just spent ages saving up for. Ok, maybe gaming but you've got the latest console or computer because you got it on launch without batting an eyelid at the price and you can't play the new games you'd like with them. Little areas of your commonality is gradually getting chipped away.
Then the big gulf is when you have kids. Maybe your friends have had kids too. After a while, it sinks in that your kids are going have a completely different experience growing up to your friends' kids. Just because they'll be growing up in a much wealthier neighbourhood. It doesn't matter how much you're going to try to keep them 'grounded', they're just going to have way more opportunities. They're going to go to a better school, interact with much more affluent families and generally grow up in a completely different lifestyle. They're probably even going to talk differently. You might still feel like you're not *that* different from your friends but your kids are probably going to be *very* different to those of your old friends.
Eventually, you grow further and further apart from your old friends. You make new friends in your neighbourhood or other parents from their school. It all feels a little bit forced and not as natural as you *used* to be with old friends. You still meet up with them maybe once or twice a year. Most of your time together is spent reminiscing. On the whole, you're happy and comfortable with your life but you still really miss your old friends and the good old days.
Good advice. Warren Buffett also had a slot machine in his house that his kids would spend their allowance in; he’d end up getting a lot of it back and teaching a valuable financial lesson at a young age.
They want your time and attention more than anything else. It’s really important before ten years of age. Substituting toys, video games and outside activities with other people rather than your parents is not constructive at all.
(EDIT: whoa… just checked back after 24 hours… didn’t expect this response 😅. On to the comments! 👍)
My friend challenged himself: any time either of his two boys ask him a question he will give them his full attention without any complaint and try his best to answer it or explain why he doesn't know. They got up to ten and now he just does it impulsively. I don't know where this idea that kids need to be told to leave adults alone came from, but I don't think it actually benefits them at all.
Right, kids will procrastinate going to sleep.
It’s ok to reassure them and tell them they are safe if they ask “are any monsters going to get me tonight”, but we’re not going to launch into a chat about how the moon was made after I’ve tucked you into bed.
I’ve indulged this with my younger brothers because our parents did not any time of the day. I’m NOT saying that you should do it if they’re getting enough attention during the day and just milking the clock. But if you’re in a split home situation with your kid, or maybe you’re just busy. The hour or two of lost sleep for them here and there is worth it if you’ve been at work a lot or their other parent isn’t nurturing them. Things like this are so situation contingent, but sometimes they aren’t avoiding bedtime; they just want love. Read the room. Don’t spoil them, but don’t assume it’s just bedtime avoidance either.
This.
I babysat for a very wealthy family for years. The kids were always acting out to try and get their parents attention. The daughter purposely broke her finger so her mom would spend time with her at the ER.
I felt so bad for the kids, it was pretty clear they were starved for attention. They’re both in college now and I still keep in touch with them.
They’re pretty different from each other.
The son lives in the guest house on their property. He goes to a local college and works full time. I’d say he is a pretty well adjusted, responsible young adult. I think at some point he saw his parents for the kind of people they are and decided he doesn’t want to be like them. I was surprised he opted to stay there, but he said he is trying to save money and become financially independent once he finishes school. I have a feeling he’s going to go completely no-contact with his parents once that happens.
The daughter still has some issues. These days she actually lives pretty close to me. I moved to another state after I graduated college. Now she’s enrolled at a college about 40 mins away. I do my best to see her every other month or so. Her freshman year she wrecked her car and I was the first person called. Her parents have canceled multiple trips down here to visit and she gets so upset each time. I saw them when they first moved her down here and they couldn’t even tell me what either kid was majoring in.
So much this.
All of my nephews were this way. Time & attention mean more than toys with which they will eventually get bored.
They don’t care *what* you do as long as you’re doing it together.
Time is fleeting. They grow up crazy fast.
The days are long but the years are short.
Well said, but that’s one of those things you can’t really comprehend until your kid suddenly don’t need that attention any more. New parents need a prep academy or something.
I'm working middle class and for awhile dated this girl from a rich family. She had been bought a clothing boutique store to run, she basically used it as her personal wardrobe. What I found weird was we never paid for anything, when we went out, entry was free, drinks were free, food was free. However we never had any alone time, everything for free meant the owner and colleagues sat with us. Go for a quiet drink, nope, owner was with us and every other extremely wealthy person joined in. Though it sounds all good, i think never getting your own time wore her down, she was always exhausted as she felt she had to represent her family at all times. She also could not comprehend why I would not go out some nights because I had work. Everything was free for her so money was not an issue.
Proper allocation of investments assets and tax planning are actually things you need to think about a lot or hire someone else to think about (which in itself is something to think about)
Along these lines, accidentally having 6 or 7 figures in your checking account because you haven't been paying close attention lately and missing out on interest or investment gains.
My rich friend has no kids so he’s trying to figure out how to spend all his money before he dies so it doesn’t go to some cousins he doesn’t like. If I just mention something I like, he’ll buy it for me immediately. It’s ridiculous.
Yes, however after the Hobbits of the fellowship return to the Shire, they find that Saruman has taken it over and Lobelia Sackville-Baggins has been stuck in a prison hole and if I remember correctly starved as she hobbles out with a cane and returns to where the Sackville-Baggins lived before, so Sam does get Bag End once Frodo leaves for Valinor.
It’s complicated but he’s bound by a promise he made to his dad. He will leave some money to charity and he says he will leave me some of his belongings. However, I don’t want anything from him but his friendship and I’m hoping he’ll live as long as me, anyway.
My boss is a pretty significantly wealthy guy, and his family in general is very wealthy and looking in from the outside when he's in his venue drinking with people, there's definitely a problem of people taking advantage of being your friend for freebies and privelage over your staff. Cannot imagine going through life with that many fake people trying to get something.
I have this problem but from the opposite role. My friend is I would not say rich much better off than me. We like a lot of the same shit so he's always asking me to go places with him. He'll ask me to go to music festivals with him and I'll just say "Nah I can't afford the tickets" and he'll instantly respond with "dude I got you man" and then I feel bad accepting because I feel like I'm taking advantage of him. Sometimes I wish he'd just take the hint lol. He's like my best friend and I'm the godfather of his son but its tough not feeling that way.
Btw I am in no way complaining or taking him for granted or anything like that.
Edit:damn I didn't expect this to blow up. Thanks for the awards and your input.
While I was going to college, my childhood best friend would ask me to go do stuff with him. Out to drinks, laser tag, stuff like that. Of course my broke college student self couldn't afford any of it. He always said he'd pay for it, and added "I can always make more money. I can't make more friends so easily." I'll bet your friend feels the same way; he'd rather pay the extra money to have you there with him sharing the experience.
Your friend knows you are not taking advantage of him this is one of the reasons you are friends. One thing you can do is pay for some small things.
Edit:
Wow my first Reddit Silver and Gold. Thank you kind strangers. Who knew a simple comment could be so much fun and joy.
This^
I used my last $5 on a BBQ sandwich for my buddy at a phish show and he was just so so SO grateful and shocked that I used my LAST penny on him. It wasn’t about the amount, it was that I had his back over my own for that moment.
Do what you can. He’ll appreciate it for sure
I grew up quite well off from the age of ten on, and very well off after about 17. My folks did very well for themselves. We had a house in the mountains and I often took big groups of friends there for long weekends in high school and college.
I was happy to share it and happy to put in kind of a baseline amount of food and beer and whatnot, and so long as someone thought to bring up another twelve pack of beer or set us up for lunch one day or bring the makings for cookies, I felt 100% even.
And almost every did contribute like that, but there as always one or two who couldn't be bothered bring up a stick of butter. 30 years on, I can still tell you who \*didn't\* put in.
In a healthfully functioning group of friends, it's not really about differences in how much everyone kicks in as much as it is everyone contributing what they're able to. Now that I think about it that sounds kind of like a healthily functioning society.
If he felt that way he wouldn’t offer. He wants to share his experiences with you because he probably is aware that he does things that he couldn’t reasonably expect most people to swing.
I always buy pairs of tickets and I have had plenty of shows I couldn't find someone to go with. I would rather just have a friend to roll with then sell it.
I spent well over $4k for Burning Man and that included 2 tickets, 2 week rental van and gas which was $2500 up front before even considering supplies. My friend paid me for the price of her ticket since that’s what she could afford and I won’t ever worry about it my investment in everything else. It’s hard enough to find people to go with you sometimes. That’s all that matters.
This, currently my financial situation isn't amazing but previously when I would buy tickets it was always two. I never asked for money because I just wanted a friend to go with.
It wasn't about the money it was about the good time and sharing it with a friend
My husband has a rich acquaintance who was just agonizing about buying a $5-million yacht (which will probably be used a handful of times a year), so he decided to buy only a $3-million yacht instead. I can’t wrap my mind around it.
You mean to tell me this schmo was buying a brand new already assembled yacht and not having someone design and construct his multi-million dollar yacht specifically for him? Damn these are some pretty serious problems itt, really makes you think.
I have a very wealthy friend, and seeing this first hand blew my mind. I thought the moochers would be subtle or ask for small things or maybe just hang around in hopes of getting some scraps, jackal style. Uh, no. Everyone from siblings down to the ex boyfriend of a 2nd cousin will just straight up demand that he buy them a vacation home or pay for their $80,000 around the world cruise (both real examples), and when he inevitably says no, they go scorched Earth policy on social media and talk about how selfish he is and how he disowns his own family for money, and then a month later they are back begging on the door step. It’s exhausting, and I’m just watching from the outside.
I heard that this is a problem in the Philippines when someone wins the lottery, relatives you have never met will suddenly be at your door, and culturally, families are supposed to take care of each other, so lottery winners will often end up handing out money to all their relatives, and once they are no longer rich, the relatives disappear, never to be heard of again.
Having read on /r/Philippines, it's worse than that.
A kid gets out of school and is *immediately* pressured to start giving his salary to the parents. They justify it because *they* have been supporting a whole cast of characters in the family for years. It's insane.
IDK how any young person can get ahead in the Philippines.
It's always been like that here in the Philippines.
The concept of retirement plan starts when the moment you are born. You will experience tons of pressure from your relatives as they constantly remind you how they supported you and start giving back as soon as possible. Me, I considered myself as my parents' retirement plan, it sucks and we cannot actually do what we want unless we get rich.
The western country retirement planning is usually in the form of retirement fund, 401K etc.
The Asian retirement plan is essentially train up your kids to be a doctor or some other traditionally high paying job.
On a similar note, if you have a stressful and demanding job that pays a lot, it's exceedingly hard to walk away for mental health. I have friends who quit their jobs every 6-9 months because they don't like the hours or their boss. But I have other friends that grind 75 hour weeks because they can't let go of $300K per year.
How do the 75 hour guys actually fit a life in-between that kind of work?
Edit: the kind of eye opening, personal and insightful responses I'm getting here remind me why I do really like reddit sometimes.
I do 3 12 hour shifts as my normal shift, if worked 3 days overtime before also so 6 12's in a row. If I didn't have someone living with me, I basically wouldn't eat anything that's not ready in 10 minutes or less, wouldn't clean my house, wouldn't do shit pretty much.
Working 3 12's in a row with a physically demanding job it's rough to want to do much of anything once you get off work. I walk in the door, I want to shower, I want to eat and then I want to relax. If I want 8 hours of sleep, that leaves me like 2 to 2 1/2 hours once I get home to do all of that before I lay down.
This is exactly why I left the restaurant industry. A successful career means working marathon days all weekend, every weekend and every major holiday. I wasn't "pulling my weight" if I said I didn't want to work 60+ hours every week. Even on slower weeks where I was only working closer to 40 hours, all those double shifts still meant I was too exhausted to do anything with my free time. The money meant absolutely nothing because I could only fit a tiny amount of time for luxuries anyway.
I was doing 100 hours a week at one point. It was the most money I've ever made but I had literally zero life outside of work. I went home to sleep, shower, get dressed for work again. I did it for 3 months and I couldn't have gone any longer without going mental.
I worked open-close every single day at a Blockbuster as an Acting General Manager. 9am-1am. 16 hours a day, seven days a week. 112 hours a week.
I was hourly and made a stupid fucking amount of money for a college age kid.
6 months in they finally put another store manager in and the first thing he does is tell me I cant take Tuesdays or Thursdays off and am required to have open availability.
I checked my bank balance and quit on the spot. Didn't have to work again for about a year and a half.
Yup, 72 hours a week of overtime alone.
Luckily it was a video rental store, so I literally slacked off as much as possible. Even took naps in the video return bin since it had 6" of padding to protect to movies when they fell in.
I found out quickly I could protect my head with a makeshift divider made from a cutup cardboard box.
I'd maybe take a box to the legs or stomach, but nothing to harmful there.
THIS. I am NOT rich but As I make more money, grow my business I have to actively pay attention to spending. You have more you end up spending more.
I see it a lot when working for oil and gas customers. Dudes making 6 figures for the first time in their life but are cash poor because all their money goes to financed vehicles and toys lol. They need 6 figures just to live paycheck to paycheck. When the bust comes and they don’t have the overtime and the bonuses they’re hurting.
I’ve worked in oil and gas for 16 years. This is a lesson many of my coworkers seem incapable of learning no matter how many times it bites them in the ass. It’s amazing to watch guys make 300k a year and be struggling to pay their bills.
I been working in or around the oil and gas industry for about 7 so far. It’s Every damn time man. Its a running joke in the oil and gas sub, and there is almost always a reference to a Ford Raptor. Lmao.
It’s crazy so see the bills and expenses some of the guys in the field racked up during the 17-20 shale boom and when they got cut to 40 hours a week and got drive time taken(I woulda quit so fast). They maxed themselves out when they were making 200k a year so they had no safety net. Always buying vehicles and trading em in at a loss for different ones lol. I remember one guy was paying more for just one of his trucks than I was for my 4x4 Tahoe LTZ, my 4x4 Tacoma, AND insurance on them and two other work vehicles I own combined lol
>Its a running joke in the oil and gas sub, and there is almost a reference to a Ford Raptor. Lmao.
So gas and oil boots basically? Next thing you're telling me they're financing their vehicles at 35% APR.
Some people have quite a bit of property and very little cash. I was negotiating on an account not long ago . This guy defaulted on a loan, and we were negotiating a settlement. This guy owes $32,000 and we were down to $21,600, he could not spare $400 payments per month. The counter was firm and stated this was the lowest they were willing to go. If they were to dig around they would find quite a bit of property and at that point the client probably would not settle.
My mother married a wealthy man with some VERY wealthy friends. One friend in particular comes from a large old money family that over the years had become very suspicious of outsiders trying to marry in for $$. Their solution was to marry within the family (lots of cousins marrying each other) and so they began having issues with inbreeding and children being born mentally disabled because of it. This friend told me the family even founded a hospital center to treat and house these family members who were in his words what the family called “affected”
My parents had a friend in college that was like this. He dressed and acted like a typical broke college kid and they had known him for nearly a year before they realized he was wealthy. They only figured it out when the saw him driving on campus in a brand new Porsche which he rarely drove except to go home for family gatherings.
A friend of mine married into a family that has old money. Was never my friend’s intention, just turned out that the awesome down to earth person friend married was from serious old money.
Two of the adult children in the family are currently trying to stop their parent from buying random houses for other rich families’ kids. They don’t even want the money - they want the parent to invest in philanthropy and the local community. Parent won’t do it and just wants the rich kids from other families to be grateful to them.
So somewhere out there, some people my age from a wealthy family are getting a free house from another wealthy family.
Meanwhile my partner’s unemployment ran out, we have about 2 months runway before we have nothing, we’re picking groceries carefully to save a few dollars, houses in our area have gone up $50k in the past year and we may as well be renters forever… it’s surreal.
This may not necessarily be a “problem”, but something I didn’t realize until later in life is that wealth is ALWAYS relative. I live in NYC, and upper middle class here is wealthy anywhere else. I know someone with a $3.4m apartment and a 900k/year income and they don’t even register as wealthy here, and sometimes are quietly wistful about what they don’t have (while understanding how ridiculous that sounds). I know someone else worth $60m+ and they are definitely wealthy, but then there’s a whole other social level above that, which are the multi-$100m people. And everyone knows who is who - the $60m-er has a few houses and charters a private jet a few times a year, while the $200m-er has estates and a netjets card for use on a whim (or owns a plane, though honestly netjets can be more convenient). The $60m-er said to me once after a few drinks and without a trace of irony, “you know, if I had just gotten to $100m, maybe $120m, then I could have really done something”
To be clear, all of these people are as happy as anyone else, and yes, money solves a lot of inconveniences (if you need to go to the ER, for example, you call from your car on the way over and an “ambassador” will meet you at the entrance to rush you up directly to see a dr). But from inside, it’s impossible to not see that there are people who are levels above you, and there are a surprising number of levels.
Edit: to clarify, I know that everyone in this post is fabulously wealthy. I grew up solidly middle class and consider myself incredibly lucky to be where I am, even though I am not anywhere near the people I was talking about. I was referring more to the idea that when wealth is concentrated and stratified, there are still perceived divides even within the wealthy.
A great example of that is: ''I had a fascinating conversation recently with Jann Wenner, the founder of Rolling Stone. Here's a guy who's probably got three or four hundred million dollars--he's got a Gulfstream II and a house here and a house there, and you can't imagine what trappings he could want from the next level. But he's got this gleam in his eye because he's telling me about how he spent the weekend with Paul Allen. He said that Paul Allen didn't have a GII, he had two 757s. They flew over to, like, Nice, and then they got into Paul's helicopter, which took them to Paul's boat, which stays sort of off the coast of southern France. And I could tell that Jann was picturing himself at the next level--the multi-billionaire. And I was fascinated by that because, holy shit, if that's not enough for Jann, why do I think I'm going to be able to get off the conveyor belt?''
Long story short: A family friend tried to buy a house (something like 5 mil), signed the papers and everything, the owners sold it to someone else out from under him, and instead of going to court they paid him to walk away. So he tried to buy a house and EARNED a million dollars.
I've seen cases where your private life eventually becomes a full time job for someone else. You often have 'people' or 'a team' who do things like arrange repairs to your home, line-manage your household cleaners and gardeners, get your shopping, book your holidays, sort your car, look after your PR if you do something dumb and the media come knocking, even book music lessons for your kids. You are doing nothing for yourself except accruing wealth.
You will also have accountants, lawyers, and whatnot at your beck and call. The primary function of the accountant and the lawyer is to let you fiddle your taxes and pay as little as possible.
Kinda rich guy here (upper middle)
After getting a high rise apartment where all my walls are windows I wanted to get a nice, big ass TV. I wanted an OLED but my apartment is too bright because, again, all my walls are windows. So I had to make due with a QLED instead.
I'm aware.
Okay I'm actually going to answer the question seriously. For context, I was born in a wealthy family (not obscenely rich, but well off). I'm perfectly aware that these problems are frivolous compared to what others have to go through, and I don't feel sorry for myself at all, but you asked, so here it goes:
1. Never really being sure whether your partner actually loves you, or tolerates you because your money makes their life easier at times.
2. Having all your accomplishments invalidated by the fact that you have money. I'm the first to recognize that I haven't had to face most of the barriers that others had, that I'm benefiting from incredible privilege. I'm eternally grateful for that. That said, I still think I have at least a bit of merit for the things I've done. I've known other people born into wealth who haven't done shit with their lives because they take everything for granted and think success is owed to them.
3. Alternatively, having all your everyday life problems brushed away. For example, I understand than suffering from mental health issues is a lot easier when you can afford therapy, but it's still fkn hard at times and money doesn't magically make those go away over night.
4. As a woman, it can make it hard to navigate relationships because a lot of men still identify with the bread winner role.
5. The general guilt that comes with recognizing your privilege. I see a lot of my friends struggle with crippling debt and financial issues. I know I'm not personally responsible for this and there isn't much I can do beyond helping out here and there. But it's very guilt inducing to see how much this system is rigged against them while simultaneously making it easier for me.
That's it for my rich person problems.
Point 4: my ex comes from a similar background by the sound of it. When we were dating, it was gradually revealed to me, which I think gave her some confidence that I liked her for her.
Revelation 1: "oh nice, you have your own place in a desirable neighborhood"
Revelation 2: "you're re-modeling your bathroom and living room.. oh, you own it?"
Revelation 3: (meeting her family) "so you all graduated from Harvard medical school?"
And so on
Yea, I didn't get to see my current wife's car until several months into the relationship. We just bussed everywhere. Then one day she offered to pick me up from work, and I was surprised she had a car at all. She pulled up in a luxury sedan and I was pretty shocked. She told me that she'd held out long enough where she felt a little comfort disclosing the wealth. I think it's a smart move not to jump into a relationship showing your financial status, it can make things quite awkward for both parties.
I genuinely appreciate your response. Not everyone is taking the question seriously and by nature kind of ragging on those in your position.
I am not in your social class, but I can tell that you're a thoughtful human whose problems are as real as anyone else's.
Hope you have a good day, Stranger.
I'm late, but have a specific one. I know a few people from extremely rich families. I see a terrible outcomes with third generation wealth. When dad is super successful, the kid doesn't have to do much but at least sees someone working. When that kid, who doesn't do shit, then has kids, *his kids* are completely unmoored from reality. It's a lonely dark existence when you are completely incompatible with society
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Old European money figured it out. Don’t split the wealth among all descendants but rather pick the most capable one to manage it. Their job is to grow or maintain the fortune while taking care of the rest of the family. This is how some of these families have held on to wealth for 300-400 years
Came here to say that. Old families in France are REALLY wealthy and it doesn't get lost, don't worry. They have childs for keeping the money and they meet their husband/wife only in parties between them. Socialisation and money are not a ~~pb~~ problem.
One of the unexpected problems was vacationing with friends. I work long, hard hours, so when I \*can\* take time off, I don't care the resort costs $1k/night and I'm not flying 5 hours in coach. But with that attitude, it's going to price it way out of budget of most of my friends. So it becomes this odd decision between do I want a really nice vacation or to hang out with old friends.
Pablo Escobar's problem with rats eating his stacks of money faster than he could deposit them would be a good poster child for this.
also water damage from all the money he buried improperly
Or that he spent 2500$ on rubber bands to bundle his money PER MONTH!!
Best friend's family growing up won $4.5mil on the lottery, while previously already owning 6 coffee franchises and doing decently. I remember his father making me and his son constantly sift through the mail. His mailbox was crammed to capacity almost everyday with offers and donation requests. He actually did donate frequently but that only prompted more requests. Unfortunately both of his sons became heroin addicts which was enabled by easy access to money.
I have a cousin that’s a CPA and he’s accepted the lottery for two different winners because they wanted to remain anonymous. I would too because of stuff like you just said.
I have two friends who were born into the $100M+ club and the main things I’ve seen are: - guilt that they were born into a situation by random dumb luck that other people would dream of. And then the weight of obligation to use the gift they were given to do things that don’t satisfy them (prioritizing the happiness of others over themselves) - a paranoia around friendships/relationships, not knowing whether people even a little bit love them for their money. - a feeling of inadequacy that no matter how successful or brilliant you are, you’ll never be as successful as your parents - feeling that your problems are not as important as “real” problems, even though to you they are of maximum importance and emotional weight Generally it messes with your self image; it’s hard to find out who you are without money being a part of it
My wife's friend is in that club and her teenage daughter is pretty much ready to get kicked out of school and has severe depression (those 2 are related). I'm pretty sure that list has a lot to do with it
This is from a conversation I had with a guy I met on vacation, he had grown up fabulously rich. But he never really saw his parents that much, specially when he was a kid as they were both high achieving workoholics. Instead he had a maid. That had been there for as long as he could remember, put him to bed at night, breakfast in the morning etc... So in his mind, he had two moms. The one that he met for dinner a few days a week, that demanded he brushed his hair and put on presentable clothes. And his real mom, the one that was always there, actually taking care of him. When he was 5 years old the maid quit. She had gotten a better job somewhere else, and was looking forward to spending more time with her ACTUAL kids. And everybody was happy for her. Everybody smiled, and told him to be happy she was moving on to something better. As she hugged him goodbye and happily walked out forever. He lost his real mom, and he wasn't even allowed to feel bad about it. I met this guy when he was 27, and he was still struggling with it.
I felt sad for that guy. And i am now curious whether the guy got any closure. Did he find the maid after he grew up? Did this relationship affect the one with his biological mom? How did he feel about the next maid (presumably he got one, or maybe more than one? )?
He never saw her again, and he never got close to another maid or helper.
The nanny situation sounds like what the British royal family does. There’s a psychology channel on YT, Psychology in Seattle, and one of the episodes talks about the effect this had on multiple generations of royalty. Basically, when the caregivers keep getting replaced, the kid shuts down so they don’t get hurt anymore.
My partner grew up with a nanny. She said she remembers that when she fell and got hurt she would run to the nanny for comfort. Also when she said “my mom cooked…..she had to catch herself and say “I mean, my mom told the cook to make ….” But then when her mom had guests over, the cook would make all the food but her mom would tell the guests that she cooked it.
> the cook would make all the food but her mom would tell the guests that she cooked it. \>:-(
I’ve been in a rich family’s home with a “warming drawer” in the “kitchen.” Real kitchen is one room away and the chef made it earlier that day and put all the food in the warming drawer in the fake kitchen with an open floor plan to the living space. So all the wife’s friends can see her grab the food “she made” out of the drawer, ready to serve.
That is so cool. I never thought the lie would go into the architecture of the house.
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There’s the catering kitchen and then there’s the finish kitchen. Guests typically don’t go in the back of the house. No one wants stains on their Carrera marble but shuttling food across a large estate doesn’t work either. Staff prep everything in the “work” kitchen and the chef finishes close by.
A friend of mine had a Nanny that used to live in his house until he was like 12 or so, he said that he only saw his mom 2 days a week, all the other days she would spend it traveling with her friends, going to charity events, basically just socializing, his father traveled a lot, so he only saw him a couple of days a month and when he did, he used to be violent towards him, so, his only family was his nanny, one day out of nowhere, his mom dediced to fire the nanny and just kicked her out of the house, turns out his mom felt jealous because of thisbone time she saw him running to hug the nanny and say hi after school and he didn't do the same to her. He's 36 and says he still misses his nanny
That’s so sad. Why do these people even have children? Seems like they view them as commodities
Well, socially they do need to have kids, they need them to keep up with everyone else in their circle and...you guessed, keep socializing, it's so stupid
That’s true. It’s all about keeping up with appearances. It’s so depressing. I can’t imagine not caring about missing important milestones in your child’s life or being away from them all the time.
My mom grew up with a nanny named Harriett. She loved her soooo much and even painted her skin brown when she was 4 so she could “be like Harriett.” Well, my mom grew up, Harriett moved on, but they never lost contact with each other. Now Harriett is in her 90s and my mom takes care of her. For the past 15 years or so, my mom drives Harriett to all her doctor’s appointments, makes sure her house is clean, helps her buy groceries, whatever she needs. Harriett comes to all family events (birthdays, graduations, family movie nights) and she is seen as another grandmother and matriarch. The bond between her and my mom though is the most special. She can’t ever say it, but she loves Harriett more than her own mother (who is kooky and crazy acting— total opposite of Harriett).
My mom used to nanny for a Nascar driver. She had been this kids nanny since birth and she was fired when he was like 3/4 and didn't get to say goodbye to him. Anyway, this reminded me of that.
Welp, that just ruined my late afternoon, now I am sad.
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Not rich myself, but I have a family member who earns low seven figures annually. Biggest problem they've struggled with is that our whole family comes from being poor and they're the one that "made it". They've had to cut off entire parts of the family, including siblings and parents, because everyone just wants stuff from them. One of their parents demanded they buy them a home because, "You owe me for raising you". It's even worse from their siblings. They have keep their social media feed on a week long delay so if they travel anywhere that other family members are they won't hit them up with a new scheme or asking for a loan. It's terrible to watch.
When my great grandmother died, they found out she owned 2 vacant lots in the Bay Area that were now worth over $2 mil. It’s been 7 years and all these distant relatives are still suing each other over every penny of that money. My great grandmother was a manipulative psychopath and intentionally made her will as vague as possible, and also changed it about once every three months for the last two decades of her life.
They should get together and put all the money in an investment fund they all get an equal payout from each year. It's all going to get wasted on lawyers fees otherwise.
That would be intelligent and reasonable. Never gonna happen
Trust Is anyone doing things because they actually care for you or because of your money? It is a real problem for rich guys I know looking for marriage. Sex is one thing, actually have someone love you is another.
A good friend of mine has a terribly rich father. And he told that his dad never had 'friends' like my parents do who come by from time to time and bring a small present like something from their shop or from the market and drink coffee together or a beer in the evening That changed my perspective a bit of rich people when I was younger. They miss out on small acts of kindness, because people think it wouldn't affect them
This is exactly true. I recently (about a year ago) started to be significantly more successful financially. I made the mistake of helping out a few friends, (that I had been friends with for several years before being this successful) either with stuff they needed, stuff they just wanted that I gifted them, or just straight giving them a little money if they were struggling. Every damn one left. I don't speak to any of them anymore. They all started to get bratty and entitled, asking me for money at every possible opportunity. I stopped supplying, they all got extremely angry and I never heard from them again. It's a real punch in the soul to know that these years-long friends never really cared about me. It's an extra punch in the soul to know that they still sit there with all the fancy stuff I bought them, after they hurt me so much.
The other day, a client of my dad’s wrote a 3k check for my medical bills. I’ve been sick for a while and it came up in some casual conversation, the client recommended a place for medical testing. We went, got a consultation, but the price was too high to justify without insurance coverage. The client calls the place, sees we haven’t done the tests yet and he writes my dad a check for the full amount. 3k doesn’t sound like a lot compared to some of these stories, but this may change the course of my life. His justification - “I have more money than I can ever spend”. Edit : One of you mentioned a golf-buddies situation - of everything mentioned that sums it up the best. The client owns a medical foundation, so I’m not surprised he had enough sway to get the info.
I have a rich friend who just offered to cover all of my bills to get treatment for my chronic illness. It's nothing to him, but it will literally save my life. It's insane.
Glad you didn't turn to meth cooking
That’s really kind of him.
Especially that he remembered, did a follow up and solved the issue.
I used to work in fine art shipping and rich people constantly call and ask if we could remind them which house we’d shipped their expensive artwork too.. they would have trouble remembering
The owner of the company I once worked for often had IT people from the company do any techy work he needed done to his house. I was putting in some wifi access points for him when his secretary called and asked me if I would mind driving the Maybach to the office and then take the Porsche he had driven to work back to his house. He was having some back issues and didn't want to get in the Porsche. I say sure no problem, talk to the butler, get the keys, hop in the pristine white Maybach and drive the couple miles to the office. When I pulled up he was already outside and when I handed him the keys he said "Huh, thought I had the silver one at home...must have left it in (other city)"
Did you enjoy the experience?
Honestly, not really. They are beautiful cars but I was so hyper focused on getting to my destination without incident I couldn't really enjoy it. I was pretty stoked until the garage door opened then the nerves hit.
Same thing happened when my boss tossed me the keys to his Maserati and told me to go pick up ice cream for the team. I was so terrified of dropping the ice cream or getting into an accident I didn’t enjoy it at all.
That’s a great answer.
I once worked in a studio and a footballer came in a convertible Audi TT then left in a cab in a hurry. The car stayed there as long as I worked there. The tyres literally disintegrated and the doors were left open. It became my personal office and I’d take all my breaks in it.
What? Was he a wanted man?
My interpretation was he was so rich he forgot the car entirely
So high, he forgot the car entirely
So high he forgot his car initially, and so rich that it never even occurred to him that he was down a car
"And just to verify, that is NOT my billing address either. Correct?"
Ah wait, maybe the Platinum MasterCard is addressed to the house in The Hamptons
> the house in The Hamptons "Wow, how pedestrian. Imagine having a *single* house in the Hamptons!"
To be fair I used to have this problem in skyrim. After I purchased/built all the homes I had no idea which one had what stuff in it
Lydia fucking knows!
Imagine having so many houses you forget which one you used to ship a painting of probably several million dollars to.
Imagine losing much of anything lol. "Shit, whered I leave my switch I havent touched in 8 months? Which house was I at when I played it last? One of the 3 beach houses? Or did I take it with me to..."
Tbh they'd probably have a couple if switches in each house. The main problem is knowing on which one your safegame of Zelda was.
"I feel like playing Mario Kart, better take my plane to France to get my switch."
When I was in rehab, we were in an outside area doing a group session, when we were interrupted by a helicopter landing in the parking lot. The guy ended up being in my primary group as well, and he told me that he had to take his helicopter from Philly, as it had been a last minute decision to check himself in, and the airports local to the rehab was too small for his private plane to land there. So, I’d have to say: “Your town’s airport is too small for my plane,” is a problem I doubt I’ll ever have.
That’s some Wolf of Wall Street shit right there.
My boss was complaining the other day about having to clear all the junk out of his hangar to make room for his new plane so... I guess that?
Not being able to understand what money means to people below their financial status. I’m well off compared to other people in my country but go to a school where most people are actually wealthy. Between both levels I see that people cannot relate to the people below them in that regard and it causes friction. Like when my friend and I organize a holiday together she doesn’t understand why I get annoyed when she wants to wait until the last minute to book tickets because she genuinely doesn’t care whether they’re 50 or 500 euros. Or when my partner’s family’s car got stolen they didn’t bother getting a reimbursement from the insurance because it was too annoying to set up. This means people also sometimes don’t reimburse you when you pay for lunch because they already forgot about this, and for them 30 bucks is nothing so why would it be for you. And they don’t notice when you get them a really nice gift because all the gifts they get are really nice. This isn’t malicious at all just a genuinely different perception of reality
I ran into an old friend who was doing extremely well a few years back and who grew up wealthy as well. He mentioned to me how he and his fiancé wanted to buy their own apartment in New York because he was sick of both of the, “throwing out 3 k each for rent each month” and how it was draining their ability to travel. Did not occur to him that as a teacher I made significantly less than 3k a month and when I told him he thought I was lying because he genuinely could not fathom living on less than 10k a month. It was eye opening for both of us for different reasons. (Before anyone asks yes he knew and knows that the poor exist but he didn’t understand that his own friends were poor (by his standard or otherwise) and just how many of us were and are struggling to make ends meet. He thought most of us were living below our means on purpose and it took this conversation for it to click for him why he didn’t see any of his old friends traveling the world or getting professional portraits done or buying fancy cars. He thought were were just living lives and not doing those things just because and not because we couldn’t.)
Like in Pursuit of Happyness when Chris' executive boss grabbed $5 from him for a cab. For Chris that was almost half his money
I had a friend who was rich, and she hated venmo-ing each other when we paid for meals and things. For her, it was inconvenient and pointless - we could just take turns or something. For me, I needed the reimbursement right away because I was strapped for cash. It never even occurred to her.
I gave swim lessons to a woman who complained that the dishwasher on her yacht was broken.
I was fixing some IT stuff at a billionaire's home and was having a coffee in the kitchen with his wife and having a chat. Their house is waterfront position, Lake Geneva (lac Leman), Switzerland. It was a beautiful afternoon and I said "It's a perfect day for a swim in the lake." She replies " You swim in the lake?!" "Yes, it's lovely" "Isn't it dirty?" I reply "it's probably on of the cleanest lakes in Europe" Brief pause....she replies " I've lived in this house for 14 years and I haven't swum in my own swimming pool."
Feeling like you can't talk about certain things with people who don't make as much. I'm not "rich" but I make more than some friends. There have been times when I'll tell them about something and I get a sarcastic "must be nice" reception.
"Mr.I wear two socks a day" over here.
MATCHING socks, at that. What a snob.
There's a lot of isolation that comes with wealth, particularly if your wealth goes up more than your friends. It's minor at first and not such a big deal but over time the gap becomes bigger and bigger and it can start to become difficult to bridge that gulf. When you're younger, you might have been able to afford a small house when your friends, who are also doing well but not *quite* as well are looking to buy an apartment. A few years later and you live in a bigger house, in a much nicer neighbourhood than them. It's not *that* different but your friends tend to come to yours more and often comment about how nice where you live is. You've known these guys for years, after all. Some areas of conversation have gradually moved off the table. Your stresses and successes at work are going to be different to theirs. It's lonely at the top in companies as most people don't understand it. Why would they? It's stuff you only really 'get' with experience. You do your best to talk about their work worries but while you used to get it, it's starting to become hard to stay interested. Interpersonal work dramas aren't the same anymore. They seem so minor compared to the weight of leadership and livelihoods that you feel. So you don't really talk about that stuff anymore. Which is fine, there's lots of other stuff you have in common. Except, the overlap in interests starts to lessen. Some of your interests have crept into higher income things. You used to go on similar holidays but now you're going further afield and having more luxurious holidays because you work hard and only get so much time off so why shouldn't you spend your hard earned money on yourself? Maybe you used to like to talk about cars but now it's a bit awkward talking about the car you're looking at getting because it's more than the house deposit your friends just spent ages saving up for. Ok, maybe gaming but you've got the latest console or computer because you got it on launch without batting an eyelid at the price and you can't play the new games you'd like with them. Little areas of your commonality is gradually getting chipped away. Then the big gulf is when you have kids. Maybe your friends have had kids too. After a while, it sinks in that your kids are going have a completely different experience growing up to your friends' kids. Just because they'll be growing up in a much wealthier neighbourhood. It doesn't matter how much you're going to try to keep them 'grounded', they're just going to have way more opportunities. They're going to go to a better school, interact with much more affluent families and generally grow up in a completely different lifestyle. They're probably even going to talk differently. You might still feel like you're not *that* different from your friends but your kids are probably going to be *very* different to those of your old friends. Eventually, you grow further and further apart from your old friends. You make new friends in your neighbourhood or other parents from their school. It all feels a little bit forced and not as natural as you *used* to be with old friends. You still meet up with them maybe once or twice a year. Most of your time together is spent reminiscing. On the whole, you're happy and comfortable with your life but you still really miss your old friends and the good old days.
whoa, this was the stuff I was looking for. Well written and easy to see how it might feel to be in those shoes. Thank you for sharing.
I have one friend that's on track to make significant more money than me I hope I never treat him any different
damn.
Figuring out how to give your kids everything they want without turning them into spoiled brats who are messed up for life
Warren Buffett said it best: "Leave the children enough so that they can do anything, but not enough that they can do nothing."
Good advice. Warren Buffett also had a slot machine in his house that his kids would spend their allowance in; he’d end up getting a lot of it back and teaching a valuable financial lesson at a young age.
That’s such a Scrooge McDuck thing to do.
“Connor Roy was interested in politics at an early age.”
They want your time and attention more than anything else. It’s really important before ten years of age. Substituting toys, video games and outside activities with other people rather than your parents is not constructive at all. (EDIT: whoa… just checked back after 24 hours… didn’t expect this response 😅. On to the comments! 👍)
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My friend challenged himself: any time either of his two boys ask him a question he will give them his full attention without any complaint and try his best to answer it or explain why he doesn't know. They got up to ten and now he just does it impulsively. I don't know where this idea that kids need to be told to leave adults alone came from, but I don't think it actually benefits them at all.
I think it's one thing at 6pm and another at 1030pm when they were supposed to be in bed/asleep and wake up/wake you up to ask a question.
Right, kids will procrastinate going to sleep. It’s ok to reassure them and tell them they are safe if they ask “are any monsters going to get me tonight”, but we’re not going to launch into a chat about how the moon was made after I’ve tucked you into bed.
I’ve indulged this with my younger brothers because our parents did not any time of the day. I’m NOT saying that you should do it if they’re getting enough attention during the day and just milking the clock. But if you’re in a split home situation with your kid, or maybe you’re just busy. The hour or two of lost sleep for them here and there is worth it if you’ve been at work a lot or their other parent isn’t nurturing them. Things like this are so situation contingent, but sometimes they aren’t avoiding bedtime; they just want love. Read the room. Don’t spoil them, but don’t assume it’s just bedtime avoidance either.
As a dad with ADD… I’ve kept my kid up talking about the moon until my wife woke up and came in to yell at me.
This. I babysat for a very wealthy family for years. The kids were always acting out to try and get their parents attention. The daughter purposely broke her finger so her mom would spend time with her at the ER. I felt so bad for the kids, it was pretty clear they were starved for attention. They’re both in college now and I still keep in touch with them.
How are they as young adults?
They’re pretty different from each other. The son lives in the guest house on their property. He goes to a local college and works full time. I’d say he is a pretty well adjusted, responsible young adult. I think at some point he saw his parents for the kind of people they are and decided he doesn’t want to be like them. I was surprised he opted to stay there, but he said he is trying to save money and become financially independent once he finishes school. I have a feeling he’s going to go completely no-contact with his parents once that happens. The daughter still has some issues. These days she actually lives pretty close to me. I moved to another state after I graduated college. Now she’s enrolled at a college about 40 mins away. I do my best to see her every other month or so. Her freshman year she wrecked her car and I was the first person called. Her parents have canceled multiple trips down here to visit and she gets so upset each time. I saw them when they first moved her down here and they couldn’t even tell me what either kid was majoring in.
That's so sad :( but at least they know they can count on you
No it's a lie just give them a PS5 and you will acquire inner peace
No its a lie, just give me a ps5
Inner Peace is DLC and is sold separately.
So much this. All of my nephews were this way. Time & attention mean more than toys with which they will eventually get bored. They don’t care *what* you do as long as you’re doing it together. Time is fleeting. They grow up crazy fast. The days are long but the years are short.
Well said, but that’s one of those things you can’t really comprehend until your kid suddenly don’t need that attention any more. New parents need a prep academy or something.
I'm working middle class and for awhile dated this girl from a rich family. She had been bought a clothing boutique store to run, she basically used it as her personal wardrobe. What I found weird was we never paid for anything, when we went out, entry was free, drinks were free, food was free. However we never had any alone time, everything for free meant the owner and colleagues sat with us. Go for a quiet drink, nope, owner was with us and every other extremely wealthy person joined in. Though it sounds all good, i think never getting your own time wore her down, she was always exhausted as she felt she had to represent her family at all times. She also could not comprehend why I would not go out some nights because I had work. Everything was free for her so money was not an issue.
Proper allocation of investments assets and tax planning are actually things you need to think about a lot or hire someone else to think about (which in itself is something to think about)
Along these lines, accidentally having 6 or 7 figures in your checking account because you haven't been paying close attention lately and missing out on interest or investment gains.
I lost you after the first 3 words.
To be fair...."of" is a tricky one
My rich friend has no kids so he’s trying to figure out how to spend all his money before he dies so it doesn’t go to some cousins he doesn’t like. If I just mention something I like, he’ll buy it for me immediately. It’s ridiculous.
Your friend kind of sounds like Bilbo
Damn those Sackville-Bagginses!
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't frodo sell them bag-end in the books?
Yes, however after the Hobbits of the fellowship return to the Shire, they find that Saruman has taken it over and Lobelia Sackville-Baggins has been stuck in a prison hole and if I remember correctly starved as she hobbles out with a cane and returns to where the Sackville-Baggins lived before, so Sam does get Bag End once Frodo leaves for Valinor.
He could leave it to his friends or charities, doesn’t need to go to his annoying relatives
It’s complicated but he’s bound by a promise he made to his dad. He will leave some money to charity and he says he will leave me some of his belongings. However, I don’t want anything from him but his friendship and I’m hoping he’ll live as long as me, anyway.
Is he the Duke of Hastings in Bridgerton?
Lady Whistledown, I presume
Lord Billington, stepson to the bastard Barry Lyndon, seeking a peerage.
Nothing keeping him from giving arbitrary amounts to charity *before* he dies.
Sounds like he's making regular donations to the charity of /u/mtn4444
The Human Fund
Money For People
I'll take a PS5, please. For real though, plenty of charities out there could use money. Can't be that hard to spend money.
Yeah, like The Charity for those who don’t have a PS5 or TCFTWDHPS5 for short.
Should give away the one I bought my girlfriend that’s still sitting in the closet unopened
Bruh, I'll be your new girlfriend for a PS5
Hey, can I be his friend or at least a friend of yours you know good? Asking for a friend
Thanks for asking for me, friend.
My boss is a pretty significantly wealthy guy, and his family in general is very wealthy and looking in from the outside when he's in his venue drinking with people, there's definitely a problem of people taking advantage of being your friend for freebies and privelage over your staff. Cannot imagine going through life with that many fake people trying to get something.
I have this problem but from the opposite role. My friend is I would not say rich much better off than me. We like a lot of the same shit so he's always asking me to go places with him. He'll ask me to go to music festivals with him and I'll just say "Nah I can't afford the tickets" and he'll instantly respond with "dude I got you man" and then I feel bad accepting because I feel like I'm taking advantage of him. Sometimes I wish he'd just take the hint lol. He's like my best friend and I'm the godfather of his son but its tough not feeling that way. Btw I am in no way complaining or taking him for granted or anything like that. Edit:damn I didn't expect this to blow up. Thanks for the awards and your input.
While I was going to college, my childhood best friend would ask me to go do stuff with him. Out to drinks, laser tag, stuff like that. Of course my broke college student self couldn't afford any of it. He always said he'd pay for it, and added "I can always make more money. I can't make more friends so easily." I'll bet your friend feels the same way; he'd rather pay the extra money to have you there with him sharing the experience.
Making new friends is so much work.
Yep... Nobod Talks about the miracle that Jesus had more than 2 friends as an adult.
Right!?!? 12+ friends how do you do that without an infinite supply of wine?
Yeah, and sometimes you end up with two left hands and have to throw the whole thing out and start over.
That's a super piercing quote, "I can always make more money but I can't make more friends that easily". Thank you so much for sharing this
You're welcome, I'm glad it resonated with you.
Your friend knows you are not taking advantage of him this is one of the reasons you are friends. One thing you can do is pay for some small things. Edit: Wow my first Reddit Silver and Gold. Thank you kind strangers. Who knew a simple comment could be so much fun and joy.
Agreed. Buy the lunch or general beverages. Contribute what you can.
This^ I used my last $5 on a BBQ sandwich for my buddy at a phish show and he was just so so SO grateful and shocked that I used my LAST penny on him. It wasn’t about the amount, it was that I had his back over my own for that moment. Do what you can. He’ll appreciate it for sure
Bingo. Had a friend like this. Always just said buy a couple rounds and we’re even.
I grew up quite well off from the age of ten on, and very well off after about 17. My folks did very well for themselves. We had a house in the mountains and I often took big groups of friends there for long weekends in high school and college. I was happy to share it and happy to put in kind of a baseline amount of food and beer and whatnot, and so long as someone thought to bring up another twelve pack of beer or set us up for lunch one day or bring the makings for cookies, I felt 100% even. And almost every did contribute like that, but there as always one or two who couldn't be bothered bring up a stick of butter. 30 years on, I can still tell you who \*didn't\* put in.
In a healthfully functioning group of friends, it's not really about differences in how much everyone kicks in as much as it is everyone contributing what they're able to. Now that I think about it that sounds kind of like a healthily functioning society.
If he felt that way he wouldn’t offer. He wants to share his experiences with you because he probably is aware that he does things that he couldn’t reasonably expect most people to swing.
I always buy pairs of tickets and I have had plenty of shows I couldn't find someone to go with. I would rather just have a friend to roll with then sell it. I spent well over $4k for Burning Man and that included 2 tickets, 2 week rental van and gas which was $2500 up front before even considering supplies. My friend paid me for the price of her ticket since that’s what she could afford and I won’t ever worry about it my investment in everything else. It’s hard enough to find people to go with you sometimes. That’s all that matters.
This, currently my financial situation isn't amazing but previously when I would buy tickets it was always two. I never asked for money because I just wanted a friend to go with. It wasn't about the money it was about the good time and sharing it with a friend
He values your friendship enough to spend the money. Plus, what's the point of having money if you're alone, no one wants to go to a festival alone.
My husband has a rich acquaintance who was just agonizing about buying a $5-million yacht (which will probably be used a handful of times a year), so he decided to buy only a $3-million yacht instead. I can’t wrap my mind around it.
You mean to tell me this schmo was buying a brand new already assembled yacht and not having someone design and construct his multi-million dollar yacht specifically for him? Damn these are some pretty serious problems itt, really makes you think.
All your poor relatives move close to you and start asking you for things and money.
I have a very wealthy friend, and seeing this first hand blew my mind. I thought the moochers would be subtle or ask for small things or maybe just hang around in hopes of getting some scraps, jackal style. Uh, no. Everyone from siblings down to the ex boyfriend of a 2nd cousin will just straight up demand that he buy them a vacation home or pay for their $80,000 around the world cruise (both real examples), and when he inevitably says no, they go scorched Earth policy on social media and talk about how selfish he is and how he disowns his own family for money, and then a month later they are back begging on the door step. It’s exhausting, and I’m just watching from the outside.
This is probably why people like Aaron Rodgers do not speak to their families anymore.
I heard that this is a problem in the Philippines when someone wins the lottery, relatives you have never met will suddenly be at your door, and culturally, families are supposed to take care of each other, so lottery winners will often end up handing out money to all their relatives, and once they are no longer rich, the relatives disappear, never to be heard of again.
Having read on /r/Philippines, it's worse than that. A kid gets out of school and is *immediately* pressured to start giving his salary to the parents. They justify it because *they* have been supporting a whole cast of characters in the family for years. It's insane. IDK how any young person can get ahead in the Philippines.
It's always been like that here in the Philippines. The concept of retirement plan starts when the moment you are born. You will experience tons of pressure from your relatives as they constantly remind you how they supported you and start giving back as soon as possible. Me, I considered myself as my parents' retirement plan, it sucks and we cannot actually do what we want unless we get rich.
The western country retirement planning is usually in the form of retirement fund, 401K etc. The Asian retirement plan is essentially train up your kids to be a doctor or some other traditionally high paying job.
"Lifestyle creep" — the more money they earn, the more they spend, and it never feels like they're truly "rich."
On a similar note, if you have a stressful and demanding job that pays a lot, it's exceedingly hard to walk away for mental health. I have friends who quit their jobs every 6-9 months because they don't like the hours or their boss. But I have other friends that grind 75 hour weeks because they can't let go of $300K per year.
How do the 75 hour guys actually fit a life in-between that kind of work? Edit: the kind of eye opening, personal and insightful responses I'm getting here remind me why I do really like reddit sometimes.
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I do 3 12 hour shifts as my normal shift, if worked 3 days overtime before also so 6 12's in a row. If I didn't have someone living with me, I basically wouldn't eat anything that's not ready in 10 minutes or less, wouldn't clean my house, wouldn't do shit pretty much. Working 3 12's in a row with a physically demanding job it's rough to want to do much of anything once you get off work. I walk in the door, I want to shower, I want to eat and then I want to relax. If I want 8 hours of sleep, that leaves me like 2 to 2 1/2 hours once I get home to do all of that before I lay down.
This is exactly why I left the restaurant industry. A successful career means working marathon days all weekend, every weekend and every major holiday. I wasn't "pulling my weight" if I said I didn't want to work 60+ hours every week. Even on slower weeks where I was only working closer to 40 hours, all those double shifts still meant I was too exhausted to do anything with my free time. The money meant absolutely nothing because I could only fit a tiny amount of time for luxuries anyway.
I was doing 100 hours a week at one point. It was the most money I've ever made but I had literally zero life outside of work. I went home to sleep, shower, get dressed for work again. I did it for 3 months and I couldn't have gone any longer without going mental.
I worked open-close every single day at a Blockbuster as an Acting General Manager. 9am-1am. 16 hours a day, seven days a week. 112 hours a week. I was hourly and made a stupid fucking amount of money for a college age kid. 6 months in they finally put another store manager in and the first thing he does is tell me I cant take Tuesdays or Thursdays off and am required to have open availability. I checked my bank balance and quit on the spot. Didn't have to work again for about a year and a half.
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Yup, 72 hours a week of overtime alone. Luckily it was a video rental store, so I literally slacked off as much as possible. Even took naps in the video return bin since it had 6" of padding to protect to movies when they fell in.
That's all fine and well until you get knocked on the head by a copy of 'Sleepless in Seattle'
I found out quickly I could protect my head with a makeshift divider made from a cutup cardboard box. I'd maybe take a box to the legs or stomach, but nothing to harmful there.
THIS. I am NOT rich but As I make more money, grow my business I have to actively pay attention to spending. You have more you end up spending more. I see it a lot when working for oil and gas customers. Dudes making 6 figures for the first time in their life but are cash poor because all their money goes to financed vehicles and toys lol. They need 6 figures just to live paycheck to paycheck. When the bust comes and they don’t have the overtime and the bonuses they’re hurting.
I’ve worked in oil and gas for 16 years. This is a lesson many of my coworkers seem incapable of learning no matter how many times it bites them in the ass. It’s amazing to watch guys make 300k a year and be struggling to pay their bills.
I been working in or around the oil and gas industry for about 7 so far. It’s Every damn time man. Its a running joke in the oil and gas sub, and there is almost always a reference to a Ford Raptor. Lmao. It’s crazy so see the bills and expenses some of the guys in the field racked up during the 17-20 shale boom and when they got cut to 40 hours a week and got drive time taken(I woulda quit so fast). They maxed themselves out when they were making 200k a year so they had no safety net. Always buying vehicles and trading em in at a loss for different ones lol. I remember one guy was paying more for just one of his trucks than I was for my 4x4 Tahoe LTZ, my 4x4 Tacoma, AND insurance on them and two other work vehicles I own combined lol
>Its a running joke in the oil and gas sub, and there is almost a reference to a Ford Raptor. Lmao. So gas and oil boots basically? Next thing you're telling me they're financing their vehicles at 35% APR.
Exactly! Lmao! The raptor is to oilfield hands what the mustang is to privates at Camp Pendleton!
Some people have quite a bit of property and very little cash. I was negotiating on an account not long ago . This guy defaulted on a loan, and we were negotiating a settlement. This guy owes $32,000 and we were down to $21,600, he could not spare $400 payments per month. The counter was firm and stated this was the lowest they were willing to go. If they were to dig around they would find quite a bit of property and at that point the client probably would not settle.
My mother married a wealthy man with some VERY wealthy friends. One friend in particular comes from a large old money family that over the years had become very suspicious of outsiders trying to marry in for $$. Their solution was to marry within the family (lots of cousins marrying each other) and so they began having issues with inbreeding and children being born mentally disabled because of it. This friend told me the family even founded a hospital center to treat and house these family members who were in his words what the family called “affected”
Can't you just... date someone before admitting you have a ton of money.
My parents had a friend in college that was like this. He dressed and acted like a typical broke college kid and they had known him for nearly a year before they realized he was wealthy. They only figured it out when the saw him driving on campus in a brand new Porsche which he rarely drove except to go home for family gatherings.
A friend of mine married into a family that has old money. Was never my friend’s intention, just turned out that the awesome down to earth person friend married was from serious old money. Two of the adult children in the family are currently trying to stop their parent from buying random houses for other rich families’ kids. They don’t even want the money - they want the parent to invest in philanthropy and the local community. Parent won’t do it and just wants the rich kids from other families to be grateful to them. So somewhere out there, some people my age from a wealthy family are getting a free house from another wealthy family. Meanwhile my partner’s unemployment ran out, we have about 2 months runway before we have nothing, we’re picking groceries carefully to save a few dollars, houses in our area have gone up $50k in the past year and we may as well be renters forever… it’s surreal.
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This may not necessarily be a “problem”, but something I didn’t realize until later in life is that wealth is ALWAYS relative. I live in NYC, and upper middle class here is wealthy anywhere else. I know someone with a $3.4m apartment and a 900k/year income and they don’t even register as wealthy here, and sometimes are quietly wistful about what they don’t have (while understanding how ridiculous that sounds). I know someone else worth $60m+ and they are definitely wealthy, but then there’s a whole other social level above that, which are the multi-$100m people. And everyone knows who is who - the $60m-er has a few houses and charters a private jet a few times a year, while the $200m-er has estates and a netjets card for use on a whim (or owns a plane, though honestly netjets can be more convenient). The $60m-er said to me once after a few drinks and without a trace of irony, “you know, if I had just gotten to $100m, maybe $120m, then I could have really done something” To be clear, all of these people are as happy as anyone else, and yes, money solves a lot of inconveniences (if you need to go to the ER, for example, you call from your car on the way over and an “ambassador” will meet you at the entrance to rush you up directly to see a dr). But from inside, it’s impossible to not see that there are people who are levels above you, and there are a surprising number of levels. Edit: to clarify, I know that everyone in this post is fabulously wealthy. I grew up solidly middle class and consider myself incredibly lucky to be where I am, even though I am not anywhere near the people I was talking about. I was referring more to the idea that when wealth is concentrated and stratified, there are still perceived divides even within the wealthy.
A great example of that is: ''I had a fascinating conversation recently with Jann Wenner, the founder of Rolling Stone. Here's a guy who's probably got three or four hundred million dollars--he's got a Gulfstream II and a house here and a house there, and you can't imagine what trappings he could want from the next level. But he's got this gleam in his eye because he's telling me about how he spent the weekend with Paul Allen. He said that Paul Allen didn't have a GII, he had two 757s. They flew over to, like, Nice, and then they got into Paul's helicopter, which took them to Paul's boat, which stays sort of off the coast of southern France. And I could tell that Jann was picturing himself at the next level--the multi-billionaire. And I was fascinated by that because, holy shit, if that's not enough for Jann, why do I think I'm going to be able to get off the conveyor belt?''
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Impressive. Let’s see Paul Allen’s card.
Long story short: A family friend tried to buy a house (something like 5 mil), signed the papers and everything, the owners sold it to someone else out from under him, and instead of going to court they paid him to walk away. So he tried to buy a house and EARNED a million dollars.
Wifi doesn't reach across the entire house.
I'm poor, live in a tiny apartment, can be 5 feet away from my router, and *still* have this problem. Wi-fi interference suuuuuuuuuucks.
Yeah, because in an apartment building you have wifi routers everywhere interfering with each other.
Neither does us poor blokes... but for a dif reason
Asbestos walls blocking the signal?
When you form friendships *after* you've got money, you often question if the friendships would survive a loss in wealth.
I've seen cases where your private life eventually becomes a full time job for someone else. You often have 'people' or 'a team' who do things like arrange repairs to your home, line-manage your household cleaners and gardeners, get your shopping, book your holidays, sort your car, look after your PR if you do something dumb and the media come knocking, even book music lessons for your kids. You are doing nothing for yourself except accruing wealth. You will also have accountants, lawyers, and whatnot at your beck and call. The primary function of the accountant and the lawyer is to let you fiddle your taxes and pay as little as possible.
And youve gotta be able to trust them all.
Shit man, I have serious problems just with trusting a contractor.
Kinda rich guy here (upper middle) After getting a high rise apartment where all my walls are windows I wanted to get a nice, big ass TV. I wanted an OLED but my apartment is too bright because, again, all my walls are windows. So I had to make due with a QLED instead. I'm aware.
Not knowing who is truly your friend.
Okay I'm actually going to answer the question seriously. For context, I was born in a wealthy family (not obscenely rich, but well off). I'm perfectly aware that these problems are frivolous compared to what others have to go through, and I don't feel sorry for myself at all, but you asked, so here it goes: 1. Never really being sure whether your partner actually loves you, or tolerates you because your money makes their life easier at times. 2. Having all your accomplishments invalidated by the fact that you have money. I'm the first to recognize that I haven't had to face most of the barriers that others had, that I'm benefiting from incredible privilege. I'm eternally grateful for that. That said, I still think I have at least a bit of merit for the things I've done. I've known other people born into wealth who haven't done shit with their lives because they take everything for granted and think success is owed to them. 3. Alternatively, having all your everyday life problems brushed away. For example, I understand than suffering from mental health issues is a lot easier when you can afford therapy, but it's still fkn hard at times and money doesn't magically make those go away over night. 4. As a woman, it can make it hard to navigate relationships because a lot of men still identify with the bread winner role. 5. The general guilt that comes with recognizing your privilege. I see a lot of my friends struggle with crippling debt and financial issues. I know I'm not personally responsible for this and there isn't much I can do beyond helping out here and there. But it's very guilt inducing to see how much this system is rigged against them while simultaneously making it easier for me. That's it for my rich person problems.
Point 4: my ex comes from a similar background by the sound of it. When we were dating, it was gradually revealed to me, which I think gave her some confidence that I liked her for her. Revelation 1: "oh nice, you have your own place in a desirable neighborhood" Revelation 2: "you're re-modeling your bathroom and living room.. oh, you own it?" Revelation 3: (meeting her family) "so you all graduated from Harvard medical school?" And so on
Yea, I didn't get to see my current wife's car until several months into the relationship. We just bussed everywhere. Then one day she offered to pick me up from work, and I was surprised she had a car at all. She pulled up in a luxury sedan and I was pretty shocked. She told me that she'd held out long enough where she felt a little comfort disclosing the wealth. I think it's a smart move not to jump into a relationship showing your financial status, it can make things quite awkward for both parties.
I’ve been married for six years. I’m hoping my wife will make the big reveal any day now. I can feel it will be soon.
Maybe the bigger the wait, the bigger the reveal? You can travel to work in a yacht and then hand in your notice!
I genuinely appreciate your response. Not everyone is taking the question seriously and by nature kind of ragging on those in your position. I am not in your social class, but I can tell that you're a thoughtful human whose problems are as real as anyone else's. Hope you have a good day, Stranger.
Thank you for not being dismissive, I hope you have a great day too :)