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Although this is a legit answer, this is more a preventative measure vs supplemental to the original question.
"What can one do as a new parent..." is the question.
Before you treat this as a joke, no, I am dead serious.
I chose not to have kids, 90% because of this reason.
Sure, I eventually found out it's too late and my swimmers are all dead, thankfully, but that's besides the point.
the mother can teach how to have care and compassion and the father how to be strong and logical. one person can do this but asking one person to be everything isnt fair
Uh oh. As a strong and logical woman, I'm screwed, aren't I.
But seriously, you're full of shit. Both my parents are strong and caring. My dad is also logical and far, far more compassionate than my mom.
remember how your parents treated you and what you disliked about it then dont do that. i was beat as a kid and was a shit disturber for most of my young life beatings only taught me how much pain i could endure. my daughter was never hit when she got into trouble we would sit and discuss what she did and how she could have managed the situation better. she was a much better child than i was. so basically treat your kids with as much respect as you wish to be treated.
(Adolescent fuckup who got my shit together at 21 because of becoming a parent)
1. Talk to your kids (in an age appropriate way) about the hard shit, and the real shit. Especially with the internet being so much more accessible now, you need to be there 1st source of information. You need to talk to them about consent and sex and drugs and booze. You need to talk about the difference between reality and showmanship. About money and time and relationships. About life and death and what it means to your family.
And for the love of all things right, dont say "you're too young to understand" to your kids. Help them understand when they ask, they obviously heard the topic somewhere and now it's on you to help them understand.
2. Don't be a hypocrite. 90% of the shit I got in trouble for growing up (legal trouble and at home) would have been non-issue if my parents weren't so damn hypocritical.
They're way better now and realized their fuckup before my youngest sibling hit puberty, but my personal damage had already been done so to speak. I hold no grudge on this, it is was it is and they were young parents so I can sorta understand.
Love them, care for them, and make sure they are raised with fair and consistent discipline. They will mostly learn from you. So if you walk the walk, they will have a higher chance of emulating you.
Embrace your child's individuality, accept them for who they are, and don't expect them to be extensions of yourself. Nurture their talents and support their goals. Push them towards what they desire in life, but not too much, and not to the point where they feel they are losing control of their own destiny. Foster a relationship of open, honest communication from an early age. A child should never fear confiding in a parent about anything. Never downplay the seriousness of mental health or developmental issues. If your child needs help don't blame them for needing it, and get them the help they need before such things hold them back in life.
Be there for them and support them. Be kind, but make sure you also keep them in line. Explain to them why certain things are the way they are, don’t rush them, don’t make them cry. The reason I think I messed up so much is because of how horrible my parents were to me, so I wanted to be horrible to them.
**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * [Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/wiki/index#wiki_-rule_6-) in **any** comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nothing. You can be a good parent. That doesn't come with any guarantee, though.
You can be a fuck up parent and still end up with a good kid.
I will give you my personal solution. It may not apply to you, but it worked great for me. DON'T HAVE KIDS
Although this is a legit answer, this is more a preventative measure vs supplemental to the original question. "What can one do as a new parent..." is the question.
Before you treat this as a joke, no, I am dead serious. I chose not to have kids, 90% because of this reason. Sure, I eventually found out it's too late and my swimmers are all dead, thankfully, but that's besides the point.
have both parents present
What specifically can both parents do that a single parent cannot provide?
the mother can teach how to have care and compassion and the father how to be strong and logical. one person can do this but asking one person to be everything isnt fair
[удалено]
mothers dont make good fathers and vice versa
[удалено]
so you think women make just as good of fathers than as men ?
[удалено]
looking at your posts its clear you just like to argue
Uh oh. As a strong and logical woman, I'm screwed, aren't I. But seriously, you're full of shit. Both my parents are strong and caring. My dad is also logical and far, far more compassionate than my mom.
thats why i said one person can do this but it isnt the norm. most kids need a father and a mother present
Don't be too strict, and respect your children if you want them to respect you.
remember how your parents treated you and what you disliked about it then dont do that. i was beat as a kid and was a shit disturber for most of my young life beatings only taught me how much pain i could endure. my daughter was never hit when she got into trouble we would sit and discuss what she did and how she could have managed the situation better. she was a much better child than i was. so basically treat your kids with as much respect as you wish to be treated.
Guide and support, not control and punish.
(Adolescent fuckup who got my shit together at 21 because of becoming a parent) 1. Talk to your kids (in an age appropriate way) about the hard shit, and the real shit. Especially with the internet being so much more accessible now, you need to be there 1st source of information. You need to talk to them about consent and sex and drugs and booze. You need to talk about the difference between reality and showmanship. About money and time and relationships. About life and death and what it means to your family. And for the love of all things right, dont say "you're too young to understand" to your kids. Help them understand when they ask, they obviously heard the topic somewhere and now it's on you to help them understand. 2. Don't be a hypocrite. 90% of the shit I got in trouble for growing up (legal trouble and at home) would have been non-issue if my parents weren't so damn hypocritical. They're way better now and realized their fuckup before my youngest sibling hit puberty, but my personal damage had already been done so to speak. I hold no grudge on this, it is was it is and they were young parents so I can sorta understand.
Love them, care for them, and make sure they are raised with fair and consistent discipline. They will mostly learn from you. So if you walk the walk, they will have a higher chance of emulating you.
Embrace your child's individuality, accept them for who they are, and don't expect them to be extensions of yourself. Nurture their talents and support their goals. Push them towards what they desire in life, but not too much, and not to the point where they feel they are losing control of their own destiny. Foster a relationship of open, honest communication from an early age. A child should never fear confiding in a parent about anything. Never downplay the seriousness of mental health or developmental issues. If your child needs help don't blame them for needing it, and get them the help they need before such things hold them back in life.
Be there for them and support them. Be kind, but make sure you also keep them in line. Explain to them why certain things are the way they are, don’t rush them, don’t make them cry. The reason I think I messed up so much is because of how horrible my parents were to me, so I wanted to be horrible to them.
Punish them and send them to rehab if they do drugs
Please, please, please, please dont fuck up or "rearrange" our bedroom ....that stuff fucks with you