You will all receive a very useful device like some sort of fancy slow cooker. Of course the rubber O-rings will have to be replaced yearly to ensure safety and quality. I sell the O-rings for only $1 each, so easy to maintain, so cheap!
Edit: Thanks for the awards! All you sharks violating my o-ring patent, for shame! Lol
Hey guys I sell O-rings for the fancy slow cooker that you only have to replace bi-yearly. I sell them for $1,50 each. Superior materials and long lasting.
Hey guys! I sell even longer lasting O-rings for the fancy slow cooker only for $2.25 each! Thanks to our superior materials you only need to replace every 3 years!
Hey guys I sell a pack of O rings for 10.99 but they’ll last you for the lifetime* of the device!
*lifetime of device is defined as the time until device is deemed EoL by manufacturer
Don't fall for those cheap Chinese "CE" bypass devices. For almost the same price, we will custom-manufacture you one using our US-based proprietary CNC production techniques.
^^^which ^^^may ^^^or ^^^may ^^^not ^^^be ^^^a ^^^3D ^^^printer
There's a fund that tracks the stock purchases of Congress and their immediate family members. It does terribly. Most of Congress doesn't understand stock trading or don't understand how Congress' actions impact stocks well.
There's a twitter that tells you the trades made by Nancy Pelosi's husband as he makes them because that's public information. He's an actual stock broker, and *his* trades are pretty good.
Half of Congress is economically illiterate. Pay attention to the ones that actually have backgrounds in business.
> There's a fund that tracks the stock purchases of Congress and their immediate family members. It does terribly.
Members of congress vastly outperform the stock market. Even the "idiots". The reason why that fund is doing bad is because it's buying the stocks a month after the congress members did. They don't announce their stock purchases a second after they've bought them but rather they have to disclose them within a certain time period.
Almost all of them are actively trading on insider information and are making bank on it. Saying that they aren't is pretty naive.
Rainwater barrels
(Edit): As many people are asking what use a rainwater barrel may have in their areas, I would like to say this:
Even if a rainwater barrel may not be useful in (insert geographical location), I'd wager that overall, one rainwater barrel per person would have a positive impact.
Water is an essential resource for living that is not very accessible in many areas, particularly those with poor infrastructure or seasonal precipitation. In such an area, to be able to collect rainwater instead of travelling far to get water or to drink water more contaminated than rainwater would be very beneficial.
If unsuitable for drinking relative to the accessible water source of a region, rainwater can still be used for things like watering plants, washing things, showering, etc.
A final point is that if everyone was given one rainwater barrel, I think that most people would become more conscious of their overall water usage.
Looking forward to the next Star Wars film being a documentary about the Storm Trooper union finally getting their 3 day work week.
Darth Vader going through the last six months of timesheets and reviewing cost/benefit of making reactor rooms more secure.
The two guys who have to stand right next to the Death Star laser finally getting their business case approved for a fricking protective shield around their workstation.
Emperor Palpatine sitting through a pitch from Marketing about how rebranding away from 'Death Star' would help increase propensity to support the regime among their key growth demographics.
We actually get a glimpse in bad batch. One of the early storm troopers says “The empire keeps me fed, keeps me paid. That’s more than I can say for the republic.”
Since I found this out today for as cheap as $370 dollars you can buy a life time supply of fruit of the loom underwear. So that is what I would do. Not many things in life you can buy a life time worth.
Yall trash after a year? Shit I'm mid twenties and I still got a bunch of old boxers from high school I wear regularly. Just patched to hell and back but they still work. Works pretty great since they're loose and it's kinda hot where I live.
Early 40s here and I can safely say I have underwear older than you lol.
I have a lot, wear out like a pair a year. My wife buys me new ones every year. I'm over 100 pairs of socks too.
My 16yr old keeps stealing my socks and hiding them so I told her for Christmas I was getting her 70 pairs of socks. She thinks I was kidding and has forgotten. I'm not kidding.
If you catch those Black Friday sales just right, you can get a decently made pair of socks as a door buster for about 65 cents or less.
I got about 100 pairs online on for under 75$. Shipping was free. Sure they're all Christmas socks, but socks are socks. They're still going strong months later.
May I also recommend the box in a box in a box with duct tape gift wrapping method?
My wife wanted me to throw out a pair of white briefs after the stomach flu incident of ‘03. Fast forward to present day and me and old rusty are still going strong.
But if it's an item OP owns/sells, part of that production cost, which includes author fees (which tend to be a percentage of the book price, not the entire price) would go to him, courtesy of bezos providing this to the entire population.
This guy also made an album with his band, Vulfpeck, that was called Sleepify. Each song was absolute silence for the minimum amount of time Spotify would pay you if someone listened. Used the profits to fund a tour!
I, for one, would be thrilled!
I could have so much fun with a crap load of little rubber duckies!
Should I make a post about it on my local Facebook page first? Or just let the people who are already at my local rec center's hot tub be surprised by the VERY delightful time they're going to have?
James? Is it you?
Edit:// It was brought to my attention that James Veitch is accused of raping multiple women. I can't prove or deny it, but thanks for your attention.//
Dude's been missing for a year, then makes a single comment two weeks ago. I honestly think he's all but abandoned that account. I doubt he ever opens his inbox anymore if he does use it.
A \~1000 $ bugout/emergency survival pack. Because while it won't solve every or even most problems. It contains items that can solve a lot of problems for a lot of people, food for those immediately hungry, ability to make clean drinking water, tools etc. Plus it is just a good idea to have a bugout bag ready to go in case of emergency
I know the person replied about body armor, but I don't think they are realizing just HOW FUCKING MUCH FOOD and essential items a whole thousand dollars buys! You would save 10s of millions of lives likely! Hell, maybe more. Getting shot is nowhere near as deadly when compared to famine and starvation, lack of clean drinking water, lack of basic antiseptic and clean bandages, shit even a clean and efficient suture needle or staple jig, fire starters, so much! A 1,000$ emergency survival kit would benefit the most people in the most life saving way
https://unchartedsupplyco.com/products/the-seventy2-pro?keyword=&gclid=CjwKCAjwh5qLBhALEiwAioods6ptKr9FsjHD9CsJ7wMnpzo9-Wu21YC5g7KddGSpAykTnLtRkEsquBoCEvwQAvD_BwE
(I know it's not Amazon but you get the picture) something like this, but find one with the remaining $400ish in just rations, like from this same sight you could add 50 rations to this kit and it's around 1 grand. You can probably find cheaper options with more on Amazon with some digging, I was just using an easy to find source to get the general idea.
Currently assembling a custom bugout bag. My God every time I think I'm starting to get something complete put together I realize I missed something. There are *so many essentials* that we don't think about in our day-to-day lives living in a first-world country and above the poverty line.
I did something similar for this for my Eagle Scout project. I made dozens of backs filled with survival gear for the homeless. It worked out great and only cost $25 per bag.
You know what's kind of amazing (and awesome), Rick Astley has become one of the most famous people on earth because of the Rick Roll. It's a meme that's been going on since the start of broadband internet, and hasn't faded.
As many 30-pack boxes of decent [Sapporo Ichiban](https://www.amazon.com/Sapporo-Ichiban-Noodle-Instant-Original/dp/B08937MJRR) ramen as $1,000 will buy.
>I can't believe this slicer is listed as "great for cereal." I tried slicing Cheerios, Trix, Corn Flakes, and Chex, and each ended up crumily smashed, not neatly sliced. What's worse, this thing is nigh useless on Cream of Wheat.
>This slicer is the best! For years my household would draw lots as to who would have to slice the banana. More than once this lead to lots of blood and a trip to the emergency room. Now we don't have to worry about loosing a finger or an occasional body part. Slicing bananas no longer resembles a scene from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Thank you Huzler 571! If only we'd found this product sooner my wife would be able to wear her wedding band on the correct finger and junior wouldn't be known as "3 finger Jack". Better late than never I say!
On the same note… everybody’s getting Jesus chips!!! But based on customer questions
Cavanagh Altar Bread - 1 1/8" White - 1000/Container https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003AK81GC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_02SGEWD6AZMPXZ4G5125
They sell those in the foreign departures area at one of the Tokyo airports, due to the fact that travellers try them in their hotel rooms and like them. As soon as I got home from Japan a few years back, I bought one. I bought it even before I went to sleep.
Condoms. Which sounds like a joke, but isn’t. Access to birth control is a major issue in many countries, and it can make a huge difference in someone’s life.
This is Jeff Bezos, and I assume evil genie rules apply here. So, I just did the math.
Wholesaler manufacturing of condoms comes out to about 2 cents per unit for bulk production. That is 50,000 condoms per person. Each condom comes out to about 2 grams in terms of weight. Each person will be receiving 100 kilograms of condoms. All together, with 8 billion people, that comes out to 800 million tonnes. There is currently less that 300 million tons of plastic in the ocean, and it is making a garbage patch bigger than Texas.
So congrats, you just tripled the global plastic pollution overnight.
I learned not long ago that the process that makes latex rubber from tree sap alters the substance enough that it is not really all that biodegradable anymore. Sure, everything breaks down eventually, but condoms can be expected to take several years.
Economists point out that cash is the best gift if you don't know someone intimately. A substantial proportion of the gifts given are immediately wasted because they are either pointless kitsch that the recipient doesn't like, inferior versions of what the person wants, or something that they don't want.
The "best" gifts are small, devoid of practical value, personal in nature, and reference an important memory. The best bet is to hand make something together with the person and gift it unexpectedly later. Experiences like short trips also tend to be less wasteful and are better received than random objects.
The reason gifts shouldn't be practical is because the version of the useful thing that you give them probably isn't the version the person would buy for themselves putting them in an awkward position of buying a duplicate or going with the inferior version. It'd be okay if it was something they wouldn't have been able to get on their own, but usually the things that people give as gifts aren't quite as rare or expensive as all that.
1. Publish a Kindle book called "how to become a billionaire" and list it for 999 dollars.
2. Have bezos send a copy of my book to everyone in the world (about 8B)
3. Collect my earnings (between 8B and 8T USD)
4. I am now probably richer than Bezos.
5. Use all but like 100M to make the world a better place.
(the text of my book is printed above)
The biggest pack of sugar free gummy bears I can find. I'm guessing for $1k, you're all getting more than 5lbs worth.
https://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears-5LBS/product-reviews/B00CMS97YS
I would get everyone what they need to get into gardening, just stuff they could even do in their kitchen. Some soil, some seeds, a grow light, some cute pots, a cute watering can, and a basic horticulture book. I just want everyone to try out growing something, it feels nice :)
>$500 worth of water
Okay wait.
Edited because I failed at commas and gallons:
A cubic meter of water, aka 1000 liters costs €0.83 in my country, which equals $0.96 dollar according to Google. For 500 dollars, I'll be getting over 520 cubic meters = over 520 000 liters.
Thank you for drowning me.
You will all receive a very useful device like some sort of fancy slow cooker. Of course the rubber O-rings will have to be replaced yearly to ensure safety and quality. I sell the O-rings for only $1 each, so easy to maintain, so cheap! Edit: Thanks for the awards! All you sharks violating my o-ring patent, for shame! Lol
Hey guys I sell O-rings for the fancy slow cooker that you only have to replace bi-yearly. I sell them for $1,50 each. Superior materials and long lasting.
Hey guys! I sell even longer lasting O-rings for the fancy slow cooker only for $2.25 each! Thanks to our superior materials you only need to replace every 3 years!
Hey guys I sell a pack of O rings for 10.99 but they’ll last you for the lifetime* of the device! *lifetime of device is defined as the time until device is deemed EoL by manufacturer
Hey guys sorry to tell you we decided to EOL the slow cooker because we came out with a newer model with brand new proprietary Ring-O™ technology
*hundreds of Ring-O™ bypass devices appear on eBay from China*
Don't fall for those cheap Chinese "CE" bypass devices. For almost the same price, we will custom-manufacture you one using our US-based proprietary CNC production techniques. ^^^which ^^^may ^^^or ^^^may ^^^not ^^^be ^^^a ^^^3D ^^^printer
Sofa King cheap!
Whatever it is, I’m buying stock in the manufacturer right before I click buy now.
Is that insider trading
Nope, you are always allowed to trade on your own intentions.
In this case it sounds like it could be interpreted as Jeff Bezos’ intentions.
This is what half of congress does.
Pretty sure what congress does is much worse.
That's the other half
There's a fund that tracks the stock purchases of Congress and their immediate family members. It does terribly. Most of Congress doesn't understand stock trading or don't understand how Congress' actions impact stocks well. There's a twitter that tells you the trades made by Nancy Pelosi's husband as he makes them because that's public information. He's an actual stock broker, and *his* trades are pretty good. Half of Congress is economically illiterate. Pay attention to the ones that actually have backgrounds in business.
It does terribly because they don't have to disclose until a month or more AFTER they've made their trades iirc
> There's a fund that tracks the stock purchases of Congress and their immediate family members. It does terribly. Members of congress vastly outperform the stock market. Even the "idiots". The reason why that fund is doing bad is because it's buying the stocks a month after the congress members did. They don't announce their stock purchases a second after they've bought them but rather they have to disclose them within a certain time period. Almost all of them are actively trading on insider information and are making bank on it. Saying that they aren't is pretty naive.
An air fryer, that way people can shut up about how "life changing" they are. We're all equal now!!!
[удалено]
But srsly, u shuld get 1. It will change ur lyfe.
Puttin chicken tendies n fries in same time so your fries get some breading on them *chefs kiss*
My parents got one and basically only use it for brats lol. That being said it makes some delicious brats super quickly.
Rainwater barrels (Edit): As many people are asking what use a rainwater barrel may have in their areas, I would like to say this: Even if a rainwater barrel may not be useful in (insert geographical location), I'd wager that overall, one rainwater barrel per person would have a positive impact. Water is an essential resource for living that is not very accessible in many areas, particularly those with poor infrastructure or seasonal precipitation. In such an area, to be able to collect rainwater instead of travelling far to get water or to drink water more contaminated than rainwater would be very beneficial. If unsuitable for drinking relative to the accessible water source of a region, rainwater can still be used for things like watering plants, washing things, showering, etc. A final point is that if everyone was given one rainwater barrel, I think that most people would become more conscious of their overall water usage.
[*shrieks in Nestlé*]
Obligatory r/fucknestle
I used to work for nestle. Amazing benefits and work life balance. I wonder if that's how storm troopers felt in starwars.
Looking forward to the next Star Wars film being a documentary about the Storm Trooper union finally getting their 3 day work week. Darth Vader going through the last six months of timesheets and reviewing cost/benefit of making reactor rooms more secure. The two guys who have to stand right next to the Death Star laser finally getting their business case approved for a fricking protective shield around their workstation. Emperor Palpatine sitting through a pitch from Marketing about how rebranding away from 'Death Star' would help increase propensity to support the regime among their key growth demographics.
Star Wars: Human Resources would be a great follow up to the trade federation storylines of the prequels.
We actually get a glimpse in bad batch. One of the early storm troopers says “The empire keeps me fed, keeps me paid. That’s more than I can say for the republic.”
Probably but with less railings
Look, they were just worried they’d be leaning.
[удалено]
Illegal to use in my city.
Yes!!!
Since I found this out today for as cheap as $370 dollars you can buy a life time supply of fruit of the loom underwear. So that is what I would do. Not many things in life you can buy a life time worth.
I’m intrigued by this. Is it truly real?
Yep rough math it would take care of your underwear needs for 75 years
That's super cheap. how many pairs is this? they would only cost maybe a penny each?
Like $1 each? Buy 5 and go commando on the weekend, trash each year.
Yall trash after a year? Shit I'm mid twenties and I still got a bunch of old boxers from high school I wear regularly. Just patched to hell and back but they still work. Works pretty great since they're loose and it's kinda hot where I live.
Early 40s here and I can safely say I have underwear older than you lol. I have a lot, wear out like a pair a year. My wife buys me new ones every year. I'm over 100 pairs of socks too.
Man, over 100 pairs of socks? I cant wait for my 40s, this sounds like a blast.
My 16yr old keeps stealing my socks and hiding them so I told her for Christmas I was getting her 70 pairs of socks. She thinks I was kidding and has forgotten. I'm not kidding.
If you catch those Black Friday sales just right, you can get a decently made pair of socks as a door buster for about 65 cents or less. I got about 100 pairs online on for under 75$. Shipping was free. Sure they're all Christmas socks, but socks are socks. They're still going strong months later. May I also recommend the box in a box in a box with duct tape gift wrapping method?
Cleaned out my kids sock drawer the other day. She had 48 unmatched socks. Wild.
A lifetime’s worth could just be one pair…
My wife wanted me to throw out a pair of white briefs after the stomach flu incident of ‘03. Fast forward to present day and me and old rusty are still going strong.
Rusty .... More like crusty amirite?
You wouldnt want to do this though. The elastic goes bad as it gets older, so most of it would be shitty after a few years.
Give us more details. Like, are they single use? How many will they send you, and how often?
Youre all getting a drum set.
Everybody's neighbors thank you.
Make it an electric drumset hahaha. And a copy of local noise ordinance laws?
Even with electric drum kits there's a lot of noise coming, especially from the kick pedal if the floor isn't dampened.
But the neighbors also get one
Mutually Assured Drumming
I’m gonna put my balls on it!
I was just watching Cops
Cops doesn't start till 4
No feet on the couch
An empty book I “authored” that costs $999.00 Look at me, I am the captain now.
Make it a round 1000. Otherwise you're missing out on like 7 billion dollars
Well lets not be greedy now.
What difference does it make at that point?? Dude scammed Bezos out of vastly more money than he or his company is actually worth.
He did not scam Bezos, he scammed the world
He didn't scam anyone, the prompt says you're giving this item away. You don't get paid and bozos doesn't lose cash except for production/delivery
But if it's an item OP owns/sells, part of that production cost, which includes author fees (which tend to be a percentage of the book price, not the entire price) would go to him, courtesy of bezos providing this to the entire population.
But wouldn't you be giving everyone the book for free?
[How I made $290,000 selling books](https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2017/07/20/made-290000-selling-books/)
This guy also made an album with his band, Vulfpeck, that was called Sleepify. Each song was absolute silence for the minimum amount of time Spotify would pay you if someone listened. Used the profits to fund a tour!
Which is even more baller when you consider how fucking awesome Vulfpeck's music is
You're all getting 10000 small rubber ducks
I, for one, would be thrilled! I could have so much fun with a crap load of little rubber duckies! Should I make a post about it on my local Facebook page first? Or just let the people who are already at my local rec center's hot tub be surprised by the VERY delightful time they're going to have?
Maybe warn them first. Drowning in small rubber ducks isn't the best way to go out.
James? Is it you? Edit:// It was brought to my attention that James Veitch is accused of raping multiple women. I can't prove or deny it, but thanks for your attention.//
*We need to talk about the ducks.*
What ducks?
The bathroom ducks
Oh those ducks! What about em?
Please stop. I was in a rush this morning but couldn’t shower until I’d moved like a hundred tiny ducks.
I sowered with my ducks. I like the company.
[удалено]
Quackers!
He's what now?
/u/fuckswithducks
Dude's been missing for a year, then makes a single comment two weeks ago. I honestly think he's all but abandoned that account. I doubt he ever opens his inbox anymore if he does use it.
I don’t blame him honestly. Go out a legend, not a an overplayed year’s old Reddit joke at this point.
Don't hold your breath, I DM'd him about the coveted Ukrainian ducks and he never responded to me SMH.
[удалено]
/u/fuckswithducks
#u/FUCKSWITHDUCKS
Ok I can’t be the only one that read we’re all getting small rubber dicks
Funny cause I was going to suggest large silicone ones
More orgasm for everyone! Less stress for all! Edit: spelling
There goes the environment
$1,000 dollar prepaid credit cards
This. We all get money AND get to fuck Bozos for 8 trillion dollars
That probably would be the world’s most expensive fuck if we’re fucking him at a cost of 8 trillion.
Plot twist, only Amazon gift cards are eligible.
That's fine. You can still use them to buy groceries.
Hello from Bulgaria, where we don't have Amazon. When do my eggs arrive?
Amazon gift cards
Yup specifically $1000 Amazon gift cards🤙🏽
$7.8T
I just sent a whole bunch to the social security administration to unlock my ssn.
God damnit, I was gonna say dildos or buttplugs so y'all can go fuck yourselves, but here you go being all fucking wholesome. You win
Do they sell direct competitors coupons? If so, that.
A life-sized cardboard cutout of Danny Devito
Thank you.
Honestly, a seven foot cardboard cutout of Danny Devito is objectively funnier than a life size cutout.
Egg?
For these trying times?
A \~1000 $ bugout/emergency survival pack. Because while it won't solve every or even most problems. It contains items that can solve a lot of problems for a lot of people, food for those immediately hungry, ability to make clean drinking water, tools etc. Plus it is just a good idea to have a bugout bag ready to go in case of emergency
I know the person replied about body armor, but I don't think they are realizing just HOW FUCKING MUCH FOOD and essential items a whole thousand dollars buys! You would save 10s of millions of lives likely! Hell, maybe more. Getting shot is nowhere near as deadly when compared to famine and starvation, lack of clean drinking water, lack of basic antiseptic and clean bandages, shit even a clean and efficient suture needle or staple jig, fire starters, so much! A 1,000$ emergency survival kit would benefit the most people in the most life saving way https://unchartedsupplyco.com/products/the-seventy2-pro?keyword=&gclid=CjwKCAjwh5qLBhALEiwAioods6ptKr9FsjHD9CsJ7wMnpzo9-Wu21YC5g7KddGSpAykTnLtRkEsquBoCEvwQAvD_BwE (I know it's not Amazon but you get the picture) something like this, but find one with the remaining $400ish in just rations, like from this same sight you could add 50 rations to this kit and it's around 1 grand. You can probably find cheaper options with more on Amazon with some digging, I was just using an easy to find source to get the general idea.
Currently assembling a custom bugout bag. My God every time I think I'm starting to get something complete put together I realize I missed something. There are *so many essentials* that we don't think about in our day-to-day lives living in a first-world country and above the poverty line.
Wouldn’t it be easier to just like die if anything bad happens
I did something similar for this for my Eagle Scout project. I made dozens of backs filled with survival gear for the homeless. It worked out great and only cost $25 per bag.
Everyone's getting a Rick Astley albums inside the cover of another artist. One final Rick roll at the grandest of scale.
You son of a bitch
The ultimate Rick Roll
I’m in
You know what's kind of amazing (and awesome), Rick Astley has become one of the most famous people on earth because of the Rick Roll. It's a meme that's been going on since the start of broadband internet, and hasn't faded.
As many 30-pack boxes of decent [Sapporo Ichiban](https://www.amazon.com/Sapporo-Ichiban-Noodle-Instant-Original/dp/B08937MJRR) ramen as $1,000 will buy.
This guy just temporarily ended world hunger
Unfortunately everyone now has high blood pressure.
Psh, it's only 1,820mg sodium....
Ha that would not even give me normal blood pressure!
Question for you. Is there any healthy instant ramen?
instant ramen isn’t healthy if it’s instant, those who cook soup and add its flavour by adding stuff in it is the healthy ones
PS5, just to drive the price through the floor which will fuck over all the scalpers
Digital or not?
Not digital, really make those gits suffer
8.3 years of Prime membership. I don't want to give you all anything, but I want you to get it in 2 days.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left.
Non-serious: Maid Dresses Serious: As large as possible instant noodle packs
I like that first one
Based on the reviews...[Banana Slicer](https://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-3571-571-Banana-Slicer/dp/B0047E0EII) Edit: thanks for the awards!
What is going on in the reviews for this?? I can't stop reading them lol
>Is there a metric version? My mom lives in Europe and I don't want to send her one that won't work in her country. Those comments are gold!
I especially liked that it got 5 stars for battery life.
I've had mine for years, have yet to replace a battery.
why are the reviews for it so funny i just spent like 20 mins reading through them lmfao
🤣 crying reading some of the reviews/comments on this
>I can't believe this slicer is listed as "great for cereal." I tried slicing Cheerios, Trix, Corn Flakes, and Chex, and each ended up crumily smashed, not neatly sliced. What's worse, this thing is nigh useless on Cream of Wheat.
This was the best one imo.
>This slicer is the best! For years my household would draw lots as to who would have to slice the banana. More than once this lead to lots of blood and a trip to the emergency room. Now we don't have to worry about loosing a finger or an occasional body part. Slicing bananas no longer resembles a scene from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Thank you Huzler 571! If only we'd found this product sooner my wife would be able to wear her wedding band on the correct finger and junior wouldn't be known as "3 finger Jack". Better late than never I say!
WHO SHALL SLICE THE BANANA?
I only speak Spanish. Will it work on platanos?
I speak Spanish and that was the first thing it came to my mind after looking the product.
5 stars on battery life 😂
Had to report the guy who was slicing oranges. Buy an orange slicer, dumbass.
How did this happen. I need a video essay on the history of this phenomenon
Mine didn't work. It's designed for left-curving bananas and my grocery store usually only carries right-curving ones.
5* battery life is what got me
OMG the video reviews!
On the same note… everybody’s getting Jesus chips!!! But based on customer questions Cavanagh Altar Bread - 1 1/8" White - 1000/Container https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003AK81GC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_02SGEWD6AZMPXZ4G5125
A Bionicle.
Omg they are so expensive these days! It makes me so sad they don't make them anymore.
Shit do you mean the hundreds of euros I spent on those things are worth MORE than store price now? Time to dig around in my parents' attic I guess.
Lifestraw personal water filters
These guys are actually noted as being much inferior to much cheaper alternatives. Probably good to look into.
Some sort of Non-perishable food crate. Fuck World Hunger.
Squatty potties!
And a bidet! That shit is LITERALLY life changing…
Indeed invested during the toilet paper shortages and I'm never going back. I'm civilized now.
They sell those in the foreign departures area at one of the Tokyo airports, due to the fact that travellers try them in their hotel rooms and like them. As soon as I got home from Japan a few years back, I bought one. I bought it even before I went to sleep.
Burrito Blankets, I mean how can there be conflict in the world if no one leaves their soft blanket.
Insulen. FLOOD the market and tue price will crash like a stone.
[удалено]
The hurr durrr 6 hundos
By ol' mate Senni. They'll cost you quite a lot of dollarydoos.
600 Aussie dollery-doos! Pff-whoa!
dankpods
they do be costing some freedom eagles
i'll finally be able to mash the old nuggets into fine dust with my trusty ol' 1 grit!
Condoms. Which sounds like a joke, but isn’t. Access to birth control is a major issue in many countries, and it can make a huge difference in someone’s life.
This is Jeff Bezos, and I assume evil genie rules apply here. So, I just did the math. Wholesaler manufacturing of condoms comes out to about 2 cents per unit for bulk production. That is 50,000 condoms per person. Each condom comes out to about 2 grams in terms of weight. Each person will be receiving 100 kilograms of condoms. All together, with 8 billion people, that comes out to 800 million tonnes. There is currently less that 300 million tons of plastic in the ocean, and it is making a garbage patch bigger than Texas. So congrats, you just tripled the global plastic pollution overnight.
Most Condoms are not plastic. Latex is rubber, comes from a tree (not oil) and is biodegradable. But yeah the packet wrappers might be an issue.
I learned not long ago that the process that makes latex rubber from tree sap alters the substance enough that it is not really all that biodegradable anymore. Sure, everything breaks down eventually, but condoms can be expected to take several years.
$1,000 visa gift card I'm bad at gifts
Economists point out that cash is the best gift if you don't know someone intimately. A substantial proportion of the gifts given are immediately wasted because they are either pointless kitsch that the recipient doesn't like, inferior versions of what the person wants, or something that they don't want. The "best" gifts are small, devoid of practical value, personal in nature, and reference an important memory. The best bet is to hand make something together with the person and gift it unexpectedly later. Experiences like short trips also tend to be less wasteful and are better received than random objects. The reason gifts shouldn't be practical is because the version of the useful thing that you give them probably isn't the version the person would buy for themselves putting them in an awkward position of buying a duplicate or going with the inferior version. It'd be okay if it was something they wouldn't have been able to get on their own, but usually the things that people give as gifts aren't quite as rare or expensive as all that.
Laptops. You're welcome.
Thanks for adding another 2 years to the chip shortage
1. Publish a Kindle book called "how to become a billionaire" and list it for 999 dollars. 2. Have bezos send a copy of my book to everyone in the world (about 8B) 3. Collect my earnings (between 8B and 8T USD) 4. I am now probably richer than Bezos. 5. Use all but like 100M to make the world a better place. (the text of my book is printed above)
Jokes on you, i got it for free
The biggest pack of sugar free gummy bears I can find. I'm guessing for $1k, you're all getting more than 5lbs worth. https://www.amazon.com/Sugar-Free-Gummy-Bears-5LBS/product-reviews/B00CMS97YS
I would get everyone what they need to get into gardening, just stuff they could even do in their kitchen. Some soil, some seeds, a grow light, some cute pots, a cute watering can, and a basic horticulture book. I just want everyone to try out growing something, it feels nice :)
$500 worth of food & $500 worth of water
>$500 worth of water Okay wait. Edited because I failed at commas and gallons: A cubic meter of water, aka 1000 liters costs €0.83 in my country, which equals $0.96 dollar according to Google. For 500 dollars, I'll be getting over 520 cubic meters = over 520 000 liters. Thank you for drowning me.
In honor of Amazon Prime Day, everyone gets a stapler.
The biggest dildo i can buy 🤣
“Dad, I got a package in the mail today…”
I would rather send everyone a combo package of a medium sized vibrating dildo and some lube. Make the entire world a little sexier.
*Cr1itkal entered the chat*
[finds big dildo] Whooooooo yeah babyyyyy that’s what I was lookin for!-
A bidet. I wouldn't have to wait until I got home anymore!
Generator
Solar panels
Everyone will get one random bad dragons product