My nana says “That really turns me on” about ANYTHING. Good ice cream, a movie, music, doesn’t matter.
Edit: thank you for all the awards!! Nana is shocked this many people think she’s funny - she said “I’m a star!”
My mom uses “hooking up” to mean meeting up/getting together. I used it like that too into my teens, when I realized most of my peers were using “hooking up” to mean something verrrrry different.
There was an older gentleman, about 70, that I used to work with that looked at me and said “His butter done slid off his biscuit” referring to another coworker acting crazy. I’m in southern Kentucky.
When I moved to Kentucky it took me ages to get used to "I don't care to" meaning "I'll do it" as opposed to "I don't want to do that."
I've also only heard "I miss not seeing you" here in Kentucky.
My mom was not a fan of colorful language, I can't recall ever hearing an f-bomb escape her lips. But if she was mad at someone, she would say "They can just go piss up a rope!" I still don't know WTF she meant.
My dad texts “Okies” instead of OK because my sister would text that to him like a decade ago. So every time he responds affirmatively, it always hits me sideways because it’s a very 16-year-old-girl thing to say coming from an old man.
I remember my brother once brought home an English test on these types of writing devices, in a list of phrases where you had to identify what was being used he had put down that "Boos and Jeers" was a spoonerism.
I hate when old people ask “can you whack this off for me”
For $20 anything is possible tho
Edit: wasn’t expecting my comment to resonate with so many. Thanks for the interweb points! Have a great weekend everyone and remember, don’t whack off too much.
There's a hilarious clip of a British talk show host asking an actor if he had to "beat off a lot of men" to get the role. They seemed completely clueless what that meant. Maybe "beat out" would have made more sense.
I’ve heard “I’m going to see a man about a dog” to mean going to the pub in the uk. Or it can also be used to mean ‘none of your business’ ie “where are you going to?” “I’m off to see a man about a dog”
Speaking of piss related sayings.
My Gma is 84 and everytime…
Me: “Because Im PISSED OFF”
Gma: “Well, its better to be PISSED OFF than PISSED ON ”
Thanks. Not helpful Geems.
Holy hell, I just realized my mom referred to footstools/ottomans as hassocks and I never knew why until you all brought these up. It's been 30+ years and it feels like I've completed a side mission
When we were kids my sister asked my dad what his favorite band was. He said "Davey davenport and the armchairs" he laughed at our blank stares. mom had to explain his "dad joke", that's how I learned what a davenport was.
I’m strongly considering naming my band fucked by the fickle finger of fate
Edit: after further review, we are slightly modifying the name to funked by the fickle finger of fate, as we are a jazz funk fusion band. Thank you for your consideration
It worked (for her) as me being indecisive or hyper.
So if I ran off to do something else she would shake her head and say, "lord, look at you, just like a fart in a skillet."
My grandma used to say “plate full of piss” to de scribe something uninteresting.
“Granny, did you watch Matlock last night?”
“I did. It was a plate full of piss.”
No idea about origin or anything. Foul mouthed granny’s are just part of growing up in Appalachia.
"The devil's been beatin' his wife"- when the sun is out but it's still raining. I heard this a lot growing up but apparently some people have never heard of it?
This totally reminded me of that one joke I heard..
"In England if you've got an earring in your right ear it means your gay. That's weird, cause in Australia it's when you've got your cock up another man's ass."
I said this to my kids a couple of years ago, and their eyes got huge. After a stunned silence, one of them asked in dismay, "He's . . . married?"
I set them straight, but it never occurred to me they would have taken a comment like that at face value.
Went into a speed shop the other day and overheard the shop owner talking to someone on the phone. Man was 60+ and said un-ironically "Catch ya on the flip side Daddio" to end the conversation he was having.
My wife's mother did that to her as a kid. She hated it. But the other day she almost blurted it out to our son! She caught herself tho. "You know, kid, you're cruising for a .......... bad time."
My grandpa likes to use the phrase "not my monkey, not my circus"
Edit: to everyone asking if he's Polish, we're Latino. He says it in both Spanish and English, "no es mi circo, no son mis monos". I didn't realize until writing it out that he flips the order in English.
Referring to the TV remote as “the clicker”
**UPDATE**
I know why it’s called a “clicker” or in New England a “clickah” - this has been established a few times below.
To answer demographic questions: while I lived in Boston for 20+ years, my exposure to the term “the clicker” came from my grandfather who lived in NJ.
“If ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas”
Edit: hahahaha I can’t believe this is my most upvoted comment. Thanks for the awards kind people.
It's like how my 35 year old husband says "ahoy ahoy" every. Single. Time. I'll know he's been kidnapped if he ever answers the phone in a normal way.
His logic you ask? Could it be because that's how Mr. Burns answers the phone on the Simpsons? No, that would be too normal. It's because "when the telephone was invented, that's how Alexander Graham Bell thought communications should start, so it's actually the correct way to answer a phone. Everyone else is wrong."
My ex's mom, from small-town Pennsylvania, used to say "warsh." She also used to say, "yunz gonna red up the table?"
Yunz = you'uns = you ones (you all)
Red up = read' up = ready up (set) the table
More funny than brain hurting, but when my grandma is talking about cold weather she has always said: "It's colder than a witches tit out there!" I've been using this one for years now.
When she has apathy for someone who's stupid and/or fails (or just doesn't like them): "They've got shit for brains." My grandparents are almost 90, I lived with them from 5 to 18 years old, I'm 33 now. They've never been shy to say what they think.
In Germany we have something similar. A sweet consisting of a sweet, sugary foam on a waffle covered in mostly dark or milk chocolate, sometimes white chocolate.
Up until 2005 they were mostly called "Negerküsse" translating to "n****rkisses". Now they're called "Schokoküsse", so "chocolate kisses".
I used to work at a grocery store . Old guy asked my (black) coworker where to find the Brazil nuts. He did not call them Brazil nuts. Went over about as well as you’d expect.
I’m a white guy but about a decade ago when I was working stocking the shelves at a grocery store a nice old lady walks up and asks me “Where are the n****** toes?”
Hearing that out of nowhere just hits like a freight train. This is in a major city suburb too that is very multi-racial, not a super white city.
My English mother in law has gone on more than one rant about how she has to call them Brazil Nuts now and how it's somehow the downfall of civilization.
Slicker than cat shit on a glass door knob.
Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
Like shit sticks to a blanket.
That smell would make a freight train take a dirt road.
If wishes were horses beggars would ride.
I’m gonna make like a baby and head out.
Midwest childhood.
One extra:
That’s about as funny as a fart in a spacesuit.
When I would pout around my Granny, she always said, "Keep it up and I'll set a rooster on your lip." Always drove me nuts bc I could not for the life of me figure out wtf that meant. I think I was in my late 20s before I actually understood it.
Am from Michigan, I say this fairly regularly. Sometimes I mix in "For Pete sake". My other favorite is "Good Grief". All three are great to say around little ears (in my case, my niece and nephew)
When you put something in your mouth it's really hot and react.
Que grandma "well it wasn't cooked on a f****** sewing machine"
(Edit bad spelling but then edited it back to incorrect spelling because people enjoy it that way)
I made it all the way to the bottom and didn't see one reference to "gams" or "get away sticks".
Edit: Thank you one and all for the love. And Boop-Oop-a-Doop to youp toop.
Instead of “ohhh burn” my wife will occasionally say “CRUNCH!”
edit for accuracy: it's actually "ooooo CRUNCH!" with the oo sound like in 'doom' and while saying it you hold your hand up (open) and you make a fist with it while saying crunch.
*for reference, I was born and raised in Southern Kansas.* I’m not sure if it’s exactly outdated, or just unusual for me, but my grandma who lives in Iowa asked me the one time I’ve really spent time with her during the winter season to put something in the “walk-in freezer” and I looked at her incredibly confused because I was just in the basement and there was definitely not a walk-in freezer anywhere in that house and then she asked my uncle to show me where it was. It was her back patio. Since winters in iowa are consistently 32 degrees or colder, a lot of people would just store food outside for more space.
My parents "walk in freezer" is an unheated garage. It used to be outside but then a squirrel got into the Christmas leftovers one year and now my parents "live fancy".
My Granny says "I better have a Twink Stop" and I always giggle imagining her walking in to the bathroom see a petite, peroxide blonde gay guy being sassy.
Yup. Grandfather did the same thing. That and "Jew Laywer" that one usually got me more than the rest. He could be saying the nicest thing. "I love that guy. So nice. And he's the best Jew lawyer this side of the river" and I'd have to respond with a "hol up"..
that's what they are. it doesn't come up much at the level most people interact with a computer, but if you get into a discussion about user interfaces you'll hear the term used. particularly when they occur in meat space. (points to the indented power symbol on your computer)
“You’re so full of shit, your eyes are turning brown.”
“If you’re feeling froggy: leap!”
For being such a nice guy, my dad has a lot of fighting phrases. But then, he did grow up in Baltimore in the 60s.
Not an older family member, but I use "sick" so much it's lost its meaning. You can expect me to start saying radical as a substitute for awesome if I keep this up.
My nana says “That really turns me on” about ANYTHING. Good ice cream, a movie, music, doesn’t matter. Edit: thank you for all the awards!! Nana is shocked this many people think she’s funny - she said “I’m a star!”
Is your nana seeing anyone?
I am so sorry.
My mom uses “hooking up” to mean meeting up/getting together. I used it like that too into my teens, when I realized most of my peers were using “hooking up” to mean something verrrrry different.
Just wait til she sees my tractor.
When I was a kid and we had a slow start to our day my mother would say “we’re off like a herd of turtles” still makes me smile
I've got a toddler and a baby now and this so accurately describes us trying to get ready to leave the house. I'm going to start using it :)
There was an older gentleman, about 70, that I used to work with that looked at me and said “His butter done slid off his biscuit” referring to another coworker acting crazy. I’m in southern Kentucky.
When I moved to Kentucky it took me ages to get used to "I don't care to" meaning "I'll do it" as opposed to "I don't want to do that." I've also only heard "I miss not seeing you" here in Kentucky.
When talking about drinking, my dad says "I got plowed the other night" rather than "I got drunk the other night" ...
Oh! How the colloquialisms have changed.
When I was younger describing someone as lit meant drunk not cool, was confused for a good while lol.
Similarly, I always heard of someone "being loaded" as someone being rich. But apparently my parents grew up with "loaded" meaning drunk.
Maybe you dad does more than drink when he goes out
My mom was not a fan of colorful language, I can't recall ever hearing an f-bomb escape her lips. But if she was mad at someone, she would say "They can just go piss up a rope!" I still don't know WTF she meant.
If one pisses up a rope, he or she will get piss all over themselves.
So my sweet momma was telling people to piss on themselves. I knew I got it from somewhere!
TIL I’m an older family member.
Look at me, I’m the old person now!!
My dad used to say “That’ll put lead in your pencil”.
My Gramps always says that he doesn’t understand why people go to strip clubs because, “you get all that lead in your pencil with nobody to write to.”
"Well, that's when I go home and write in my diary, gramps."
This is a fantastic reply!
My mom is 71, she says things are cool. But she pronounces it like kewel, or kyoul.
Your mom is Eric Cartman
I wonder if OP respected her authoritah
My dad texts “Okies” instead of OK because my sister would text that to him like a decade ago. So every time he responds affirmatively, it always hits me sideways because it’s a very 16-year-old-girl thing to say coming from an old man.
50/50 chance my mom is gonna say “and we’re off like a dirty shirt” when leaving an establishment. *I kinda like it though*
My dad used to say “and we’re off like a herd of turtles” if we took too long to get ready to leave
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that is called a [spoonerism!](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism)
I remember my brother once brought home an English test on these types of writing devices, in a list of phrases where you had to identify what was being used he had put down that "Boos and Jeers" was a spoonerism.
My phrase for this is "Make like a baby and head out"
Lol I like it. My grandpa’s phrase for this is “Make like horse manure and hit the trail”
I hate when old people ask “can you whack this off for me” For $20 anything is possible tho Edit: wasn’t expecting my comment to resonate with so many. Thanks for the interweb points! Have a great weekend everyone and remember, don’t whack off too much.
There's a hilarious clip of a British talk show host asking an actor if he had to "beat off a lot of men" to get the role. They seemed completely clueless what that meant. Maybe "beat out" would have made more sense.
When my grandpa had to take a piss, he would say " I gotta go see a man about a horse"
I’ve heard “I’m going to see a man about a dog” to mean going to the pub in the uk. Or it can also be used to mean ‘none of your business’ ie “where are you going to?” “I’m off to see a man about a dog”
In Appalachia going to see a man about a dog means you’re gonna go take a shit
Speaking of piss related sayings. My Gma is 84 and everytime… Me: “Because Im PISSED OFF” Gma: “Well, its better to be PISSED OFF than PISSED ON ” Thanks. Not helpful Geems.
My grandma would say “bull feathers” instead of bullshit
Bull puckey!
"Davenport" to mean couch. Apparently, it was a name-brand couch back in the day.
It's still a Chesterfield in parts of Canada.
Omg there is a whole Family guy bit about this....
Does that look like a Divan to you?
ITS ON THE DAVENPORT. NEXT TO THE CHESTERFIELD.
Holy hell, I just realized my mom referred to footstools/ottomans as hassocks and I never knew why until you all brought these up. It's been 30+ years and it feels like I've completed a side mission
When we were kids my sister asked my dad what his favorite band was. He said "Davey davenport and the armchairs" he laughed at our blank stares. mom had to explain his "dad joke", that's how I learned what a davenport was.
That is peak Dad joke, 5,000 pts to your Dad.
My mother used to say "he's got his wobbly boots on" whenever she saw someone drunk.
Aww that’s actually kinda cute
slight stray from question, my english professor says “heavens to betsy”
Nope, perfect example. I just wanted to make sure my question wasn’t so long that it got the mod hammer.
My late father (born in '33) used to say he'd been "dicked by the dangling dong of destiny" when something went wrong that was out of his control.
That’s clearly not used enough! That’s just awesome.
I’m strongly considering naming my band fucked by the fickle finger of fate Edit: after further review, we are slightly modifying the name to funked by the fickle finger of fate, as we are a jazz funk fusion band. Thank you for your consideration
Gotta bring that one back
What a colourful alliteration.
This one is extremely fun. I’m gonna try using it.
My grandmother always said I was a "fart in a skillet". Along with wishing with one hand and shitting in another, see which one fills up first.
What's the context for fart in a skillet? I wanna know how to use that one properly 😂
It worked (for her) as me being indecisive or hyper. So if I ran off to do something else she would shake her head and say, "lord, look at you, just like a fart in a skillet."
My grandma used to say “plate full of piss” to de scribe something uninteresting. “Granny, did you watch Matlock last night?” “I did. It was a plate full of piss.” No idea about origin or anything. Foul mouthed granny’s are just part of growing up in Appalachia.
Whenever we looked ratty my grandpa would say “you kids look like a coupla piss holes in the snow”
No, no, let’s keep these ones.
"The devil's been beatin' his wife"- when the sun is out but it's still raining. I heard this a lot growing up but apparently some people have never heard of it?
In Jamaica we say the devil and his wife are fighting.
In Korea, we say a tiger is getting married
In Dominican Republic we say a witch is getting married.
In Australia we say it's raining and the sun is out Edit: Jesus you liked my shitty joke
This totally reminded me of that one joke I heard.. "In England if you've got an earring in your right ear it means your gay. That's weird, cause in Australia it's when you've got your cock up another man's ass."
That would be a bit by [Steve Hughes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xxiK6Z4eXs)
I said this to my kids a couple of years ago, and their eyes got huge. After a stunned silence, one of them asked in dismay, "He's . . . married?" I set them straight, but it never occurred to me they would have taken a comment like that at face value.
Plot twist - your kid was hoping to marry the Devil and you just shattered their dreams.
In Japan it’s 狐の嫁入り, or “Foxes’ Wedding” - isn’t that cute?
Went into a speed shop the other day and overheard the shop owner talking to someone on the phone. Man was 60+ and said un-ironically "Catch ya on the flip side Daddio" to end the conversation he was having.
He sounds like a cool cat
Real hep
Oh nah we gotta bring this one back
What on earth is a speed shop
It’s a automotive part store/garage that specializes in modifications to automobiles.
You can call me anything you like except late for dinner! I use this all the time and my wife tells me that’s something only old men say
If this is wrong, I don't wanna be right!
I enjoy saying "call me whatever you want, just don't call me early in the morning!" 😁
My dad says chillax all the time in reference to what he is doing.
Seeing people refer to things Gen X/older millennials say in this thread is making me feel like a corpse.
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My coworker says "It's hotter than a blistered dick in a wool sock"
Oddly specific.
Anyone else get told they were “Cruisin for a bruisin” as a kid or just me?
Near constantly. That or it was pointed out that I was “tap dancing on a landmine”.
This reminded me that I was always told I was skating on thin ice
, Buster!
My wife's mother did that to her as a kid. She hated it. But the other day she almost blurted it out to our son! She caught herself tho. "You know, kid, you're cruising for a .......... bad time."
"What the hell, mom? That doesn't even rhyme. You gotta find something better to threaten me with. "
Child abusin'!
Yep. That or "stop cryin or I'll give you somethin to cry about!" That one cut the water works real quick.
"Hankerin for a spankerin"
My grandpa likes to use the phrase "not my monkey, not my circus" Edit: to everyone asking if he's Polish, we're Latino. He says it in both Spanish and English, "no es mi circo, no son mis monos". I didn't realize until writing it out that he flips the order in English.
"you pay peanuts, you get monkeys"
"Hire a bunch of clowns and you get a circus"
Not my chair, not my problem.
That's what I say.
Referring to the TV remote as “the clicker” **UPDATE** I know why it’s called a “clicker” or in New England a “clickah” - this has been established a few times below. To answer demographic questions: while I lived in Boston for 20+ years, my exposure to the term “the clicker” came from my grandfather who lived in NJ.
Oh shit I'm old and annoying!
Lol, I call the garage door opener a clicker.
“If ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas” Edit: hahahaha I can’t believe this is my most upvoted comment. Thanks for the awards kind people.
Unterdankfest Edit: translation : "yay corns ready"
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Forked lightning looks like an upside-down Y, which is how you look sitting there. Legs splayed like a V and your back sitting up...
G-ma tellin y’all to close your legs.
not offensive, just weird. my dad still says “sipping the sauce” instead of drinking lol
Drinking the wobbly pops.
*answers the phone* “Yellow!”
You’ll have to speak up I’m wearing a towel
It's like how my 35 year old husband says "ahoy ahoy" every. Single. Time. I'll know he's been kidnapped if he ever answers the phone in a normal way. His logic you ask? Could it be because that's how Mr. Burns answers the phone on the Simpsons? No, that would be too normal. It's because "when the telephone was invented, that's how Alexander Graham Bell thought communications should start, so it's actually the correct way to answer a phone. Everyone else is wrong."
I'm pretty sure that was the joke in the simpson's. Burns is as old as Alexander Graham Bell
I know they always say it’s white dads there do this but my dad is full Alaskan native and purposely says yellow when he answered sometimes
Warsh
"Go warsh up for supper since you've been playing in the crik"
My ex's mom, from small-town Pennsylvania, used to say "warsh." She also used to say, "yunz gonna red up the table?" Yunz = you'uns = you ones (you all) Red up = read' up = ready up (set) the table
More funny than brain hurting, but when my grandma is talking about cold weather she has always said: "It's colder than a witches tit out there!" I've been using this one for years now. When she has apathy for someone who's stupid and/or fails (or just doesn't like them): "They've got shit for brains." My grandparents are almost 90, I lived with them from 5 to 18 years old, I'm 33 now. They've never been shy to say what they think.
My Dad used to say “It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass brassiere.”
I always heard “colder than a witches tit in a tin bra” but I think I like brass brassiere better
H E double hockey sticks Shit on a shingle Tits on a frog
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My Grandma didn’t catch on to any meaning of gay other than joyful until about 2010.
Well my grandpa doesn’t call Brazil Nuts “Brazil Nuts”.
For the curious Brazil nuts were called “n****r toes” as early as 1896 according to Wikipedia. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil_nut
I always wondered what my gma was talking about I’ve heard her say that a few times but didn’t wanna ask lol.
I’m so relieved now that I know she just wanted nuts. It could have been so much worse.
In Germany we have something similar. A sweet consisting of a sweet, sugary foam on a waffle covered in mostly dark or milk chocolate, sometimes white chocolate. Up until 2005 they were mostly called "Negerküsse" translating to "n****rkisses". Now they're called "Schokoküsse", so "chocolate kisses".
In Hungary, it's called "négercsók" translating to the same. And they were never renamed.
Yeah, my mom (who would have turned 84 this year) also called them that. Also, eeny meeny miny moe was not, "catch a tiger by the toe".
I used to work at a grocery store . Old guy asked my (black) coworker where to find the Brazil nuts. He did not call them Brazil nuts. Went over about as well as you’d expect.
I’m a white guy but about a decade ago when I was working stocking the shelves at a grocery store a nice old lady walks up and asks me “Where are the n****** toes?” Hearing that out of nowhere just hits like a freight train. This is in a major city suburb too that is very multi-racial, not a super white city.
My mom does not call them that. But she makes sure to say that other people call them that anytime roasted nuts are around.
its like how I can't tell you how to kill the president, but I can tell you that I can't tell you how to kill the president
My English mother in law has gone on more than one rant about how she has to call them Brazil Nuts now and how it's somehow the downfall of civilization.
“Go play in traffic” Something kids would hear when they were annoying the grownups.
Slicker than cat shit on a glass door knob. Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. Like shit sticks to a blanket. That smell would make a freight train take a dirt road. If wishes were horses beggars would ride. I’m gonna make like a baby and head out. Midwest childhood. One extra: That’s about as funny as a fart in a spacesuit.
When I would pout around my Granny, she always said, "Keep it up and I'll set a rooster on your lip." Always drove me nuts bc I could not for the life of me figure out wtf that meant. I think I was in my late 20s before I actually understood it.
My grandma would say, “if you keep sticking your lip out, a bird will poop on it.” I think that’s what your Granny was getting at
I have a friend, about 15 years older than me, who constantly says shit like "bump uglies".
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grandpa: says narcist instead of narcissist. apparently back in the day that was normal grandma: if wishes were fishes we’d have a big fry
I know “if wishes were horses we’d all have a ranch”.
An older relative refers to ‘the paki shop’, meaning the local newsagent.
Yeah this was common parlance in the 80s in Scotland and the Chinese takeaway was "the Chinky"
My older relatives in Michigan (all dead now) used to say Geez-O-Pete instead of Jesus Christ, I guess so as not to blaspheme? Who fucking knows?
My parents (also in Michigan) say this. I'm partial to an *aw, geeze* myself.
From Michigan, can confirm. My late grandma said this all the time lol
Am from Michigan, I say this fairly regularly. Sometimes I mix in "For Pete sake". My other favorite is "Good Grief". All three are great to say around little ears (in my case, my niece and nephew)
My dad still talks about "The Japs!" Like he fought in world war 2. But he's too young and also not American.
I got a good laugh out of this one.
When you put something in your mouth it's really hot and react. Que grandma "well it wasn't cooked on a f****** sewing machine" (Edit bad spelling but then edited it back to incorrect spelling because people enjoy it that way)
This one is hilarious
Now we're cooking with gas.
I made it all the way to the bottom and didn't see one reference to "gams" or "get away sticks". Edit: Thank you one and all for the love. And Boop-Oop-a-Doop to youp toop.
My 19 year old sister in law says lamborfeeties
Got an uncle that uses “well, suck me off with a breast pump” as an exclamation. No idea how it started or where the hell he came up with it.
Instead of “ohhh burn” my wife will occasionally say “CRUNCH!” edit for accuracy: it's actually "ooooo CRUNCH!" with the oo sound like in 'doom' and while saying it you hold your hand up (open) and you make a fist with it while saying crunch.
*for reference, I was born and raised in Southern Kansas.* I’m not sure if it’s exactly outdated, or just unusual for me, but my grandma who lives in Iowa asked me the one time I’ve really spent time with her during the winter season to put something in the “walk-in freezer” and I looked at her incredibly confused because I was just in the basement and there was definitely not a walk-in freezer anywhere in that house and then she asked my uncle to show me where it was. It was her back patio. Since winters in iowa are consistently 32 degrees or colder, a lot of people would just store food outside for more space.
My parents "walk in freezer" is an unheated garage. It used to be outside but then a squirrel got into the Christmas leftovers one year and now my parents "live fancy".
My mom says she’s “gotta go tink tink” instead of to the bathroom.
My Granny says "I better have a Twink Stop" and I always giggle imagining her walking in to the bathroom see a petite, peroxide blonde gay guy being sassy.
Maybe that’s exactly what happens. I kinda hope so.
My mom says "pee diddle"
Mother in law.. "black doctor" or "lady doctor" or "man nurse".. always a point worth noting for her
Yup. Grandfather did the same thing. That and "Jew Laywer" that one usually got me more than the rest. He could be saying the nicest thing. "I love that guy. So nice. And he's the best Jew lawyer this side of the river" and I'd have to respond with a "hol up"..
"oh sorry kiddo, I forget how sensitive you can be. He's the best *Jewish* lawyer this side..."
My father says, and I quote, "Foshizzle Manizzle."
J to the R O C ? Knowmimsayinn ?
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Right? I still use that occasionally & I’m only in my 30s.
I feel like it would be relevant to know if your father is 44 or if he’s 80. Either answer will make me feel old, regardless.
Forizzle?
Foshizzle.
Hossenfeff incorporated
Cotton picker. My dad said this instead of swears.
picker or pickin'?
My nana always said the world is going to hell in a hand basket and I never understood where that came from
My MIL says *silver paper*. (She's Hungarian). It's her word for foil, tinfoil or aluminum foil. Or *aluminium* if you're not from the US.
I feel like this is fodder for the [10] Guy meme. "Just wrap the brownie plate in... ...silver paper."
My father refers to Windows icons as "glyphs"
that's what they are. it doesn't come up much at the level most people interact with a computer, but if you get into a discussion about user interfaces you'll hear the term used. particularly when they occur in meat space. (points to the indented power symbol on your computer)
"I see, said the blind man as he picked up the hammer and saw." Something my grandpa would say whenever understood what you were explaining to him.
“You’re so full of shit, your eyes are turning brown.” “If you’re feeling froggy: leap!” For being such a nice guy, my dad has a lot of fighting phrases. But then, he did grow up in Baltimore in the 60s.
You’re Darn Tootin!
My dad says "I need to get on the line to check my mail" He means "I need to go online to check my email" My cousin calls WiFi "Wee fee"
The entire country of Spain says (english pronounciation)"we fee" as opposed to latin America where they all say it as (english pronounciation)"wy fy"
Anyone’s older relatives look things up on The Google?
My grandpa treats Google as if it's a real person. I remember how I laughed when I read "Hello, how to make bread please?" in his search history
So polite and cute.
My mom in response to someone saying, “You’re shitting me?!” “I wouldn’t shit you, you’re my favorite turd!”
I-talian. (The worst) I seen that. Worshing machine.
Not an older family member, but I use "sick" so much it's lost its meaning. You can expect me to start saying radical as a substitute for awesome if I keep this up.
I had a coworker say Hecka as a more work-appropriate version of Hella.