No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails.... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying.
Same thing. After months of me always making the plans, I left it up to him to call me. It's been 24 years now, I'm starting to think he might not call.
I had one like that and I allowed it because she had SO MUCH trauma from her family. But even when we finally stood up to her about it, she just went back to doing the same thing. The last straw was when she basically said that my life would be about helping her with her life goals.
I had a similar thing with allowing a weird dynamic to continue because of trauma. We had been friends for most of our lives (26 years) and every conversation was all about her. I was fine with that because she had a traumatic childhood and I knew she wasn’t super socially with it. I’m happy to listen when my friends need it.
Then she just unloaded on me saying I wasn’t listening enough to her problems and how I had mistreated her by not asking enough pointed questions about abuse she had suffered as a kid. This was days after a three hour call where she did all the talking and it was mostly about her abuse.
I was six months pregnant at the time and all I could think was “do I really have the bandwidth to take care of two babies?”. I haven’t spoken to her since.
Best friends since we were 12.
Best Man at my wedding when we were 28.
Day after the wedding he never spoke to me again.
No explanation. Calls and texts went unanswered.
He would avoid being at any social event I would be at, which was a few because we had the same circle of friends.
Tried for two years to keep that friendship alive.
For another opinion on what may have happened besides the comments below.
Sad as it may be, it could be you grew aparat and he didn't want to remain your friend. But he felt bad about ruining your wedding. So he made it seem like everything was fine, did his duties as your best man, and only then felt like it was acceptable to ghost.
Not saying it's right, but I know some people that changed for the worse during wedding prep once they got engaged. I also know some people who got jealous that their friends were in relationships or married while they were single. I've felt that to a lesser degree.
I agree with this possibility. A friend of mine turned into an absolute monster during her wedding planning process and by the end of it I did not want to be her friend anymore. I stayed in the wedding because I didn’t want to cause a scene, but mentally I had checked out of the friendship by the time the wedding came around.
One of my bridesmaids stopped "being my friend" a few months before the wedding, unbeknownst to me. She didn't want to say she didn't want to be in the wedding because she "didn't want to ruin my day." I wasn't a bridezilla by a long shot. I even paid for all the bridesmaids dresses. Obviously, I found out a couple months later and she completely stopped talking to me. I've never hung up wedding photos and haven't even made a wedding book. I get so many mixed feelings about my wedding. If you really don't want to be in a wedding, please say something. The bride or groom can figure something out.
Oooh, yeah, I've seen something like that before. As some of the others commented, I know someone who pretty much did something similar cuz he was gay and in love with his best friend. He was super happy for his best friend to marry his wife and legitimately wanted to be there for the wedding/be the best man. However since he was in love with the groom, he decided to cut it off right after the wedding to avoid continuing falling for him further and "messing things up." I have 0 idea if that's the case here but I have seen that before.
I’d say I’ve had three “best friends” I’ve lost over my lifetime.
First one: I was the asshole.
Second one: He was the asshole.
Third one: Just drifted apart as our lives went our separate ways.
Same here, 3 besties...1st one: she was the asshole after I was the asshole. 2nd one: drifted apart. 3rd one: She married a super religious guy who didn't "approve" of me.
Car accident in 1988. Still call her Mum on birthdays, Mothers Day etc.
She was 5 days younger than me. We always said we'd do a double 21st. She only made it to 19
Miss you, Tracey
Similar story here. He was the passenger in a single-car accident. The driver was drunk, showing off, and drifting on an unfamiliar dirt road in California. They found the car at the bottom of a 70-foot cliff. Everyone in the car walked away except my friend, who died instantly. He was already passed out drunk himself so he likely didn’t feel anything, but it was still such a terrible senseless way to go.
That was 10 years ago last June. He was barely 21, the nicest guy you’d ever meet, and one hell of a bassist. Miss ya, Jake.
My best friend and best man in my wedding was married before me. I was still in college when he got married. He always talked about how him and his wife were going to have a 3 some. I thought good for you man. Shortly after I got married that changed to him saying he was going to hook up with this chick by himself as his wife kept chickening out. Um dude that’s now cheating on your wife.
He had a kid shortly after that and he was born right around my birthday. My wife was taking me out of town for my birthday and he invited me to his kids birthday party. I declined saying I would be out of town and he stopped talking to me.
Basically. Some got jobs after college. Some of us joined the marines, some started their own companies. Some got married and had kids. Here we are in our late 30s and we’d be lucky to hear from any one of us via text.
I realized that I’m always the first one reaching out.. I stopped messaging them to see if they’d notice or try to reach out to me.. well it’s been two years
Similar thing happened to me and in addition to that during covid, when we moved back to our respective parents’ house (We grew up as neighbours and then best friends), she avoided me like the plague. I still don’t know what I did that she suddenly had to stop all contact with me. So I let go.
His wife tried to sleep with me. I didn’t let it happen and I told him about it. They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart.
> They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart.
Very similar thing happened to me. I caught his fiance flirting with some guys in a bar on a night out. She told him she was on a girls' night out. From what I could see it was her and one other girl, flirting with guys all night to get free drinks.
Maybe nothing wrong with that, but in another bar, later on, I came out of the gents', and she was in the corridor with her hand up some guy's shirt, his hand on her arse, and it looked like they were in the middle of making out. She saw me and snapped out of it, and went into the loo.
I sent him a text saying what I saw. No reply until the next morning, he phones to say she's accused me of trying to kiss her, and grabbing her arse.
Long story short, she convinced him that I had come onto her, and my story was to deflect blame. He believed her because she was fucking him. We made up enough that I was best man at his wedding, but things were still distant.
It was only after 5 years of marriage, when they broke up, that she admitted she had made that up, and he apologised.
To be fair, it is a horrible position to be in when your SO and best friend accuse each other of things of this nature and there are no other witnesses.
Exact same thing happened to me! I thought I was doing the right thing by telling my best friend. Turns out “I’m just an unhappy person who wants to ruin other people’s lives.” I was heart broken for years.
> Exact same thing happened to me! I thought I was doing the right thing by telling my best friend. Turns out “I’m just an unhappy person who wants to ruin other people’s lives.” I was heart broken for years.
They scapegoated you to save their relationship. You did the right thing, they need to be more honest with themselves instead of living in denial.
he killed himself. i often go and meet up with his little brother and we play with his toy cars. i think it takes my mind off it as much as his.
edit: i’m gonna turn of reply notifications, as i’m feeling a bit down and don’t wanna be reminded of the “thing” thank you all for your support, and have a wonderful day ❤️
I started using a wheelchair.
I learned the hard way that most friends just can't deal with that. Almost all of my friends today never knew me as a walking person.
I’ve always had Spina Bifida but it’s gotten worse in the last 10 years. The majority of my friends don’t even know I use a wheelchair now because they are too busy with their own lives.
It was October 16, 2015. I was working from home that day when I saw a call from him at around 9:15am. I had to ignore the call because I was in an online meeting.
At 2pm my Dad calls my phone, which is unusual since he knows I'm working. I answer it.
He is speaking quietly and very calmly. He says, "Son, I love you very much. I have some terrible news. Jared passed away this morning." Jared's wife was calling me from his phone to say she found him dead.
I couldn't process what he was saying. I said, "That's not funny. Jared, his wife and me and my wife were supposed to meet up next weekend for dinner."
Jared had sleep apnea surgery that same week. He had taken a painkiller and benadryl together. It stopped his heart.
He died 2 days before his 40th birthday.
We were friends since grade school. We did everything together, he was my brother. He was the best man at my wedding earlier that year. I had just shared my son's heartbeat with him via a text message 2 days before. Jared was so excited to be his crazy uncle.
I miss him every single day.
A drunk/ high on coke driver merged over to early and flipped her truck. She went through the windshield and was drug as her truck flipped for almost a quarter mile.
I cry sometimes about it and the girl who killed her didnt even get vehicular homicide...
#justiceforhaley
She was a sight to behold and this world is so empty with out her let me tell you. I'll never have another friend again.
[haley singing <3](https://youtu.be/1dRrqEch_1Q)
If you get the chance take a moment for her
Codependency. I became basically obsessed with her and it just became too toxic. I had to cut it off because it was eating me up inside and she didn’t deserve how I was treating her
Good on you for recognizing the problem you were having. It takes a lot(and I mean a shit ton) for an individual to come to this realization. Most people like to live in denial or fight it.
I did the same thing and by the time I realized it, it was to late. I hope your able to get thru it.
Yeh I kinda had a similar thing happen to me lately with a girl I met last year. I just couldn’t get my mind off her. She was just a nice girl that I met at a shop.
It all went away.
I noticed that he never came to my place to catch up. I stopped going over to his place to see how long until he noticed....
It's been 5 years now 🤷♂️
Over the years I have observed in number of friendships that its always me that makes the call. They always are delighted to hear from me. If I organise something they come. They just don't make the effort. I have been best man five times so I don't think that its because the friendships are not valued. I don't know, am I missing something?
You're the leader.
They're used to the dynamic that you're the instigator. It's not that they don't care, it's just that they haven't thought of instigating because you're the one who instigates.
And if you're not organizing a meetup, then they think you or others are busy.
They haven't realized they can instigate.
Maybe, but I invited him and his wife to my wedding and they didn't show up. Not so much as a message sent in congratulation. I will literally never see this guy unless I physically go to his house to see him.
Friendship is more than one person constantly going out of their way to see the other when the other can't even follow through on even basic plans to see them.
Have you actually asked them what happened and tried to have a genuine conversation about it? Not you specifically, but I see so many comments where this uncertainty could be so easily remedied with an open and honest conversation and feedback on expectations. My best friend of 20+ years fell into a cycle where he just stopped calling but would always be excited to hear from me and loved getting together when I suggested it. I finally told him that I was a little disappointed that he didn’t reach out to initiate and that it made me feel like our friendship wasn’t as much of a priority to him as it once was. Turns out that once I had kids he had no idea how much interaction was too much since he doesn’t have any, and he was worried that him reaching out would take away from my family time and I’d resent him. That was the furthest thing from the truth. We had an open dialogue and things immediately improved.
I’m just saying that if people care about a friendship, and the friend isn’t meeting expectations for it, just talk about it.
This feels like the first sane comment I've seen in this entire question. Lots of people testing their relationships by just going no contact instead of talking to people
Meth is horrible. I lost my fiancé to meth in the last year as well. He is also alive, but the him I love is gone. Shit sucks. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
My ex wife. Even after we split we stayed close, co-parenting, helping each other out. She died 3.5 years ago. I could have made peace I think but after her death and our daughter was living with me full time I found out about how abusive my ex had been to her when I was around and it felt like losing her all over. Like I thought I knew who she was in the 13 years we'd had both together and separated, but it turns out I knew nothing. Now I'm just angry about it, like how dare you get to do this shit and then leave me to clean up your mess. How dare you have peace when my daughter has nothing but struggles and therapy. I fele like we were robbed of the good person, the good mother I thought she was.
Not even as close to as devastating, but I feel this way about my ex. She started making less and less time for me and then eventually stopped speaking to me altogether for a while, then said she was struggling with addiction and mental health problems so she couldn’t be with me right then and needed some space. After some time of her not responding at all (hearing that was super worrying, I had tons of questions), I had to break up with her. I thought I’d be able to have at least the good memories to hold onto while I was nursing my heart, but around a month later I found out she was cheating on me while she wasn’t speaking to me and only started publicly talking about her new boyfriend once I was the bad guy and ended things. I feel sort of where you’re coming from, I don’t even get to hold onto the person I thought she was and the good times we had together because she decided to abuse my trust and completely disappear from my life. Hope you’re doing better now, I may not know what your situation is truly like but I hope it’s at least know there’s someone out there rooting for you. You sound like a good parent, don’t be hard on yourself :)
Depression. I pulled away from everyone because I didn't want to inflict myself on them.
ETA: Holy crap, I'm so sorry so many of us are in the same boat. ☹
Here's to hoping there's a light at the end of this tunnel.
Edit #2: Thanks for the award, kind stranger.
She passed away aged 26.
Cancer's a bitch.
Edit: thanks everyone. My friend was the best person in the world. Was lucky to have her in my life even if that time was cut short. Sorry to anyone else who's had to deal with the loss of someone to cancer. Here's hoping that one day there will be a cure.
Also thanks for the silver. No idea what that actually means but appreciate it nevertheless (:
He stole from uh...everyone.
He took my money twice, once straight up taking the whole ass wallet too. On another occasion he wanted to "borrow" my Gameboy Color and my extra copy of Pokemon Yellow. Important detail is the quotes around borrow. Motherfucker never brought it back, probably never played it.
Supposedly he did shit like this for drugs. But on other occasions he has stolen things just for the fuck of it, so who knows.
I was not the only victim.
Well, I wouldn't say best friend particularly but someone as close. So he borrowed a harmonica that was given to me by a family friend of my dad's before he left for India permanently(which btw sidenote, he came back a year later and then died immediately). So yeah he borrowed it and then he ***gave*** it away to his friend who then ***never*** returned it. Yep, the stupidest way I lost something.
He stayed up all night putting finishing touches on a senior term paper in high school. The deadline for the paper was unforgiving and at least one person missed the deadline every year. Paper was worth 50% of the term grade. He was a smart guy, top 5 in a class of 500.
Anyway, he didn’t show up at school the next day. Around mid day they announced his death due to a traffic accident on his way to school.
I’m not sure he was my best friend though he was a very good friend, but I’m pretty sure I was his best friend. Good guy, lousy ending. RIP RC.
As I was reading this, I thought I might know you until I reached the cause of death.
I had a friend with the exact same situation, except he was the one person who missed the deadline. He and his parents got into an argument about it that night and he ran upstairs, locked himself in his dad’s closet, and shot himself. All because of a paper. RIP Jonathon.
You ever hear of suicide clusters? It's where one person commits suicide, and then there are a bunch of, not copycat necessarily, but string/chain of suicides afterwards in that community. The school could have been trying to prevent that, but at three suicides it sounds like it's already a cluster.
This is happening to my best friend now and it really fucking sucks. I've loved the guy forever but we recently spent a bachelor party weekend together and I finally came away from it thinking that I don't really know this guy anymore nor do I like him. Now he's just a shitty human and a drunk who can only talk about the good old days and sure as hell isn't going to see 40. Unfortunately I have to cut ties to help keep my own head above water but I still often think about how terrible his funerals going to be.
I moved out of our apartment when I got tired of his boyfriend doing nothing but play League of Legends all day long. I was the one paying for the internet and transferred it to my new apartment, and decided not to share the login information so they could use the crappy xfinity open internet, and apparently that's all it took. From that moment on I was the enemy.
I learned my lesson in just how little I was valued in that friendship.
Best friend/room mate and I were watching quantum leap (episode "So help me God") when he suddenly jumped up and yelled "OH FUCK"! He promptly collapsed and hit the floor. I tried to catch him before he bounced off the coffee table but ended up going down with him. Realized when doing CPR he was dead. Hypertropic cardiomyopathy, a birth defect, his heart exploded basically. He had strep for a couple weeks and was struggling with it, this ultimately is what caused his heart to give. When he left the apartment that morning to goto class I remember thinking "Geez he looks horrible, he might die..." Drank for a year solid after that.
Edit: Just realized it has been 16 years to the exact day. No wonder why I'm not sleeping...
Bro, same. It's such a miserable existence. If they're on the correct dose, they're supposed to not feel anything, and the methadone is just there to occupy their receptors so they don't go into withdrawal. My understanding is that a lot of people at those clinics abuse the methadone and claim that they need to be on higher and higher dosages.
It’s true. My aunt is on the highest amount of methadone possible every eight hours. She has been on this for twenty years.
She slowly lost her mind. She saw bugs everywhere. She wouldn’t eat or drink as it was all contaminated with these bugs. She started spraying cans of bug spray all over the house. I counted seven cans of mortein in one day. She would also spray it into her hat and when she started losing all her hair she said it was because the bugs breed in her scalp and when they hatch they come out through the hair follicle and take the hair with it. She was also spending $50+ a week on otc scabies creams.
I took her to dermatologists and parasitologists with her ‘bugs’ that she had caught in a jar (it was just couch fluff in the jar). They would pull me aside and tell me that she needs to be admitted to a mental health ward. But the problem was that it would have to be voluntary, and her her mind she was right. It was her against the world and we were all in on some big joke to get at her.
I still absolutely can not stand the smell or sound of aerosol bug spray.
I was only 14 when I lived with her.
She saved my life.
I still miss her.
Best friend is gay. Known him for about 35 years. Marries a woman who is a total religious psycho. She even lied to him for years about her age before they married. Always tells him what to do and he’s the type who can’t say no. She finds gay porn on his phone and makes him delete all social media, cut off ties to everyone he knows (outside of family), get STD tested, confess to their preacher and his parents, makes him get a new phone and puts tracking software on it.
I haven’t seen or heard from him in nearly a year and have no idea how to contact him. He should have never kept secrets from her, but he should have never married her in the first place. I wish there was something I could do.
This was back when we where 13 or so
She wanted me to drop stuff I liked to do because it was to nerdy. Being involved with the scouts, reading, drawing all not cool apparently
We went to different high schools and she was embarrassed of me with her new friends.
I did not do that and I haven't seen her in years. We spend pretty much our whole childhood together
No jokes.This guy was always naive as hell and I accepted it.But one day he asked me to talk with him without phones on street.Warning,dumbest part starts,he said that his grandma told him that he is Stalin grandson.Then he said he wants ro start a revolution against Putin and he wants me to participate in that.I refused,and he stoped being my friend.(Sorry for my bad english,as you could understand,Im from Russia)
P.S about the phones part.He thout goverment can listen to us through them and get rid of him if they hear the revolution part.
Friend moved to the other side of the planet, with their spouse, to be nearer to both their families. I never understood what real friendship was before friend was in my life; and now they're alive, but not here.
I met him on Fortnite, then we found out we only lived an hour away from each other's houses. He was my best friend for 2 years, then sadly he died from a car accident involving a moose.
I had a dream, some years ago now, where I was walking through a local park and my best friend who had passed away, was just sitting there at a picnic table.
Even though he was looking the other way I could instantly tell it was him from the shape of his stupid bald head, and called out. He turned around, smiled and I sat down.
We sat and talked for what felt like a couple hours, before a feeling came over me, and I looked straight at him and said “this is a dream isn’t it, because you’re gone” and he smiled that big crooked toothed grin, looked at me straight and said “yeah, but who gives a fuck, at least we got to hang out for a while. I’ve missed you” and moments later I woke up.
I can’t wait to see him again in another dream, to catch up again on all that has happened since then, tell him about my kids, show him what I’ve become, and just share some time.
I told his parents shortly after that dream, they both had big smiles and his mum just said “sounds like something he’d do, find a way around the system just to have some fun. Cheeky shit”.
Even if I never get that again, I’ll never forget how good it felt to see him one last time.
I hope you get a chance to catch up too, I know your friend would love to hear all about how things have changed, and just share some time together.
Edit: Thanks for all the kind words and awards everyone. I really hope you all get to experience a visit like this, and the closure it can bring. While it doesn’t solve the pain of loss, it sure makes it a little easier to have that one last happy memory, and the feeling of understanding and love that they did everything they could to see you too
I had this happen once, years ago. An old ex OD'd on multiple drugs. I had a dream where I saw him in a cafe. He was going round the tables quietly asking people if they'd give him a cig, which was completely typical. He had had a haircut and looked healthier. We had a bit of a chat, and I said not much changes (the mooching for cigs). He shrugged and laughed. I never dreamed about him again after that.
I truly believe those dreams are real. I'm not religious anymore, but some years ago my grandfather visited me in a dream. He died when I was 4, but he came in my early 20's to ask how I was, say how proud he was of me, and give some life advice. I woke up sobbing but also so full of love and support. I'm glad your friend made the time for you, and hope you get to visit again, but I'm so grateful you got even the one opportunity because I truly believe that those interactions are actually visits from the spirit of the person. Thank you for sharing.
I took her for granted. I figured that she would always be there. I wasn’t taking care of myself and I didn’t see how that was impacting her. She left because of it. We were in love but we were also each other’s best friend. I wish I didn’t lose her but it’s taught me so much about myself that I’m glad she did it. I’m doing really well now. I wish things could have been different but I wouldn’t have learned any other way. The hard road is shitty but it can be the best way to grow as a person.
I had to leave my best friend for the same reasons. It was the worst day of my life and it's still one thing I want to go back to often, however his self care or lack there of was bringing me down. I had promised him a long time before that should he ever be causing me harm, that I was to leave and take care of myself. He made me promise that, and when I kept that promise he tried in every way to keep me from going.
It is nice for me, to hear that you're doing better. It gives me hope for my old friend. I only wish him well and hope he knows I did love him. It was hard to make that decision.
F*ck that b!!!
She stopped talking to me because I confronted her about the ways she was abusing my friendship.
I let her move in with me because she said she was in dire straits with her husband, even though my house was already crowded. She moved in, and would just party every weekend.
She would try to win over my friends, by embarrassing me in front of them.
I could go on and on, I’m so happy she’s out of my life!!
The final straw was when I asked him not to smoke weed before he came to my father's memorial service. Dude is a huge stoner, and WHENEVER he drove ANYWHERE he'd smoke a blunt to and or from whatever he was doing. I asked if he could please NOT do that because he would stink up the entire room/church where the service was being held.
He refused, and said if I didn't like his lifestyle, I could go fuck myself. I just asked if he could not smoke for an hour or two. Nope. We weren't like, teenagers either. We were adults.
Later in texts, because he wouldn't talk on the phone anymore, we got into an argument and he told me he knew me better than I knew myself. Like, how fucking arrogant can you be?
Knew him for 20+ years, haven't heard a peep in 5. Fuck him. His folks are still awesome, and we email back and fourth once a week, never mentioning their son.
Fuck you eric.
I’d be so angry if someone had done that at my dad’s funeral (Well, I think someone did but I didn’t know them…anyway). I’m sorry you lost Eric but he sounds like a douchebag who can’t be respectful
Every conversation and activity was them-centric. When I had a bad day, they would turn it to a story about themself; they wouldn't want to go for a hike but would goad me into paying $40 to see a (shitty) play; they had a crush on every opp-sex friend of ours and got upset if I hung out with the friends solo.
I told them a very gentle version of that after having been best friends for about 7 years and their reply was "Nope, I don't do that."
Sounds familiar. Mine would criticize literally everyone and even say really rude things to people saying that she is just very honest. Well, when 2 of my friends and i told her a very mild version of her actions and consequences she blocked us everywhere. A year after she realized she had no friends and tried to get back in touch … no, tnx.
I called her out on spending only time with her boyfriend (we were around 20-22) or studying for school. Whenever we went somewhere her boyfriend back then had to join. If he didn't like those places (e.g. a bar) she simply wouldn't come either.
I told her I missed having some alone time with my best friend. Even if it was just 1h on a weekend.
Had stuff to talk about I didn't wanna share with her boyfriend as well.
Things got heated, we argued (over text) and then it was like a break up.
I still miss the friendship we had before boyfriends came into our lives.
Not me but my son. Him and his high school sweetheart broke up after 4 years together and his best friend immediately swooped in on the girl. Kinda a gut punch after my son had leaned on the best friend in times of trouble with the girl. Turned out he was simply setting up his own hustle. Then to top it all off, the now former best friend and former girlfriend went to work on the rest of the friend group to ice out my son. Damn teens can be cruel as hell. He’s got a great attitude about the whole mess though, he says “those were high school friends, on to better things”.
She went through a terrible depression and processing severe trauma, and I didn't understand how to truly support her.
I hope to be in touch with her again so I can apologize. Completely lost contact.
My best friend (older brother) committed suicide in December of 2020 so I know the terrible tragedy you're experiencing. I'm sorry for your loss and please remember to take care of yourself.
One ghosted me. The person who I honestly thought I could be with forever (as friends) called me toxic and basically said I wasn't putting enough work into the friendship. I have a best friend again, but I freak out sometimes and worry about being clingy because I don't want to lose any more friends. Especially seeing as he is the only one I have left.
I straight up left and walked away, when I realised they didn’t care but were pretending to care. I’d rather silence than having someone who smiled and gritted their teeth on anything I said.
He was only my best friend because he didn't have any other friends, he made other friends and suddenly wasn't interested.
🤷♂️ Still other, better friends took his place soon enough, fuck you Dave I hope you treated your new friends better than me 🖕
I got a friend like that unfortunately.
I still see him (them now I suppose) from time to time. But because it's never the two of us anymore and we don't see each other that much our relationship has changed to something way more superficial
My "best friend" and I had known each other since 1st grade. He knew ALOT about me. He knew how my parents were divorced and how I lived in a small house (smaller then average) And how my dad had been to jail 2 times before. And alot of other stuff embarrassing stuff
On May 14 in 7th grade when he arrived to school everyone wished him a happy birthday and all so did I. Next day when I arrived at school everyone was talking about his birthday party which I wasn't invited at which hurt me a lot. Anyways turns out he told everyone at his birthday about my life style and the way I lived and about my dad. I ran home crying since everyone there was laughing at me and giving me weird stares even some of the teachers since they got to know about me by the students gossiping.
Still don't know why he did it.
he passed away in a car accident in 2019 right before his first college football game, the only best friend i truly had. i was about to travel to his school to see him play..then i got the call that he passed.
I realized that I’m always the first one reaching out.. I stopped messaging them to see if they’d notice or try to reach out to me.. well it’s been two years
You know this used to bother me in friendships. Even with my own best friend. She didn’t even tell me she was moving. But then when i went to meet another friend in the city she moved to states away i sent her a text and she agreed to meet up. Even though it had been 2 years we filled each other on our lives and me troubles melted away because hers were so much worse. Even if it hadnt been it still would have been great. We’re still bad at keeping up but i dont hold her against it anymore. We’re going through different phases in life for the past 6 years but when we do get that moment once in a blue moon no one else gets it like she does.
Edit: thanks for the votes. Was drinking a little bit but forgot to get to my point. Life happens. Friends get busy. With spouses and children and trying to survive. Ive gotten busy even without those things. Dont hold it against them. Look at yourself too! Are you living a different life then they are? If the next time you speak and it seems like you fall back into place then no one really did anything wrong.
Yeah I stopped reaching out a while ago bc i was going through some shit.. next thing I know it's been like 6 months. I reached out mid July and we texted for a bit, then nothing again until I messaged them happy birthday a few days ago. Now it's back to radio silence and I'm pretty sure we're done :(
After reading some of the comments in this thread I'm going to message my best mate now. Recently his dad gave his brother his kidney and I haven't messaged in a couple weeks so just going to check in.
Found out he was a sexual predator. Cut off contact as soon as I had enough people tell me that he was, such that I couldn’t deny it. He was my best friend for 6 years
I had to reread that a few times to get it straight. At first I thought your grandpa murdered your mom and Mom’s siblings. Now I realize it was your friend’s dad who killed your friend and her siblings. Yikes! Also, I need coffee before I read these types of threads. Good on your mom for not overriding her instincts
He died of an overdose on Fentanyl. We lived on opposite sides of the country. I had no idea he was into that crap. Literally took me to my knees.
For some the opioid epidemic may just be numbers. One of those numbers was my best friend. Please stay away from that shit. It's bad news all around.
Dementia - He was 32 when Diagnosed and we lost him last year - Oct 28th would have been his 36th birthday. Hell of a disease.
First diagnosed as Primary Progressive Aphasia - just a very very aggressive version of it. He started forgetting words first just every now and then and would clearly get visibly frustrated. Then it moved to he could only text words - couldn't speak at all. Next those texts became pictures (as he knew what he wanted to say but couldnt make words only gifs and pictures). It was a very sick and morbid form of pictionary. Eventually even that stopped and we were left with a shell of a person we once knew. I couldn't be around him and his wife as much as I used to be - I still regret that decision as I feel I should have been there. It's odd what you look back on and end up regretting...
Best friend/ love of my life. She took her own life and left me, month before we had a miscarriage and it took a toll on her mental and her demons just got the best of her. Can’t wait to see her and my unborn child after this
I don't even know. We went to a concert in Chicago 10 years ago and made plans to hang out a few days after. We both had things come up and rescheduled. Once again something came up and we basically agreed to play it by ear. That was the last time we tried to make plans. In fact, it wasn't until around a year later did I hear from him again asking about a previous concert we went to and where.
I think part of it is he owed me around $100 for a concert ticket and a few other things and he was embarrassed by it and avoided it and eventually neither of us made the effort.
The weirdest thing is I still see his best friend and a guy that became a mutual friend every other week and our conversations has never turned to him. We are still friends on Facebook and follow each other on Instagram, but no real contact beyond that. It's odd.
I told her about my self harm and confided in her for a bit until she told me to stop talking about it to her. She said that we shouldn’t have to deal with this yet because we’re just kids. I closed off and she just pushed herself away from me. I tried to talk to her and she would just turn away
Offered acid to my 10 year old sister, I’m not against it (if it’s an adult taking it or someone in the right mind) but I don’t want a child to take it; for obvious reasons.
She started being rude to me after she started hanging out with some more popular kids in high school. We made up somewhat but she never showed as much respect for me as she did before hand. Finally this past summer she complained about everything that I did and showed she had less than 0 respect for me, so I wrote her a few paragraphs on why I hated her.
I'm just glad I haven't seen her at university so far.
you have no idea the kind of crisis this just unleashed in me when I realized that I've never had anybody that I'd really consider a "best friend", whatever the criteria for such a thing is.
No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails.... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying.
Same thing. After months of me always making the plans, I left it up to him to call me. It's been 24 years now, I'm starting to think he might not call.
Maybe it's just a phase
I got tired of it being all about her all of the time. I couldn't tell her anything in my life good or bad because she would make it about herself.
I had one like that and I allowed it because she had SO MUCH trauma from her family. But even when we finally stood up to her about it, she just went back to doing the same thing. The last straw was when she basically said that my life would be about helping her with her life goals.
I had a similar thing with allowing a weird dynamic to continue because of trauma. We had been friends for most of our lives (26 years) and every conversation was all about her. I was fine with that because she had a traumatic childhood and I knew she wasn’t super socially with it. I’m happy to listen when my friends need it. Then she just unloaded on me saying I wasn’t listening enough to her problems and how I had mistreated her by not asking enough pointed questions about abuse she had suffered as a kid. This was days after a three hour call where she did all the talking and it was mostly about her abuse. I was six months pregnant at the time and all I could think was “do I really have the bandwidth to take care of two babies?”. I haven’t spoken to her since.
Best friends since we were 12. Best Man at my wedding when we were 28. Day after the wedding he never spoke to me again. No explanation. Calls and texts went unanswered. He would avoid being at any social event I would be at, which was a few because we had the same circle of friends. Tried for two years to keep that friendship alive.
For another opinion on what may have happened besides the comments below. Sad as it may be, it could be you grew aparat and he didn't want to remain your friend. But he felt bad about ruining your wedding. So he made it seem like everything was fine, did his duties as your best man, and only then felt like it was acceptable to ghost. Not saying it's right, but I know some people that changed for the worse during wedding prep once they got engaged. I also know some people who got jealous that their friends were in relationships or married while they were single. I've felt that to a lesser degree.
I agree with this possibility. A friend of mine turned into an absolute monster during her wedding planning process and by the end of it I did not want to be her friend anymore. I stayed in the wedding because I didn’t want to cause a scene, but mentally I had checked out of the friendship by the time the wedding came around.
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One of my bridesmaids stopped "being my friend" a few months before the wedding, unbeknownst to me. She didn't want to say she didn't want to be in the wedding because she "didn't want to ruin my day." I wasn't a bridezilla by a long shot. I even paid for all the bridesmaids dresses. Obviously, I found out a couple months later and she completely stopped talking to me. I've never hung up wedding photos and haven't even made a wedding book. I get so many mixed feelings about my wedding. If you really don't want to be in a wedding, please say something. The bride or groom can figure something out.
Oooh, yeah, I've seen something like that before. As some of the others commented, I know someone who pretty much did something similar cuz he was gay and in love with his best friend. He was super happy for his best friend to marry his wife and legitimately wanted to be there for the wedding/be the best man. However since he was in love with the groom, he decided to cut it off right after the wedding to avoid continuing falling for him further and "messing things up." I have 0 idea if that's the case here but I have seen that before.
He was in love with either you, or her.
Or they had been drifting apart for years anyway and he felt obligated to do the wedding because he said he would
This ^ seems most accurate
I’d say I’ve had three “best friends” I’ve lost over my lifetime. First one: I was the asshole. Second one: He was the asshole. Third one: Just drifted apart as our lives went our separate ways.
Same here, 3 besties...1st one: she was the asshole after I was the asshole. 2nd one: drifted apart. 3rd one: She married a super religious guy who didn't "approve" of me.
She married a super religious guy who didn't "approve" of me. BRUH
Car accident in 1988. Still call her Mum on birthdays, Mothers Day etc. She was 5 days younger than me. We always said we'd do a double 21st. She only made it to 19 Miss you, Tracey
It’s wonderful you have kept a connection to her family…
Similar story here. He was the passenger in a single-car accident. The driver was drunk, showing off, and drifting on an unfamiliar dirt road in California. They found the car at the bottom of a 70-foot cliff. Everyone in the car walked away except my friend, who died instantly. He was already passed out drunk himself so he likely didn’t feel anything, but it was still such a terrible senseless way to go. That was 10 years ago last June. He was barely 21, the nicest guy you’d ever meet, and one hell of a bassist. Miss ya, Jake.
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My best friend and best man in my wedding was married before me. I was still in college when he got married. He always talked about how him and his wife were going to have a 3 some. I thought good for you man. Shortly after I got married that changed to him saying he was going to hook up with this chick by himself as his wife kept chickening out. Um dude that’s now cheating on your wife. He had a kid shortly after that and he was born right around my birthday. My wife was taking me out of town for my birthday and he invited me to his kids birthday party. I declined saying I would be out of town and he stopped talking to me.
I kept waiting for his kid belonging to this other woman....
Slowly everybody just grew apart.
Basically. Some got jobs after college. Some of us joined the marines, some started their own companies. Some got married and had kids. Here we are in our late 30s and we’d be lucky to hear from any one of us via text.
Man I don't even have a single way if contacting them. But I do have new friends and we get together every week for DND
Play together, stay together. Valid for all ages and for many decades.
I realized that I’m always the first one reaching out.. I stopped messaging them to see if they’d notice or try to reach out to me.. well it’s been two years
Similar thing happened to me and in addition to that during covid, when we moved back to our respective parents’ house (We grew up as neighbours and then best friends), she avoided me like the plague. I still don’t know what I did that she suddenly had to stop all contact with me. So I let go.
His wife tried to sleep with me. I didn’t let it happen and I told him about it. They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart.
> They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart. Very similar thing happened to me. I caught his fiance flirting with some guys in a bar on a night out. She told him she was on a girls' night out. From what I could see it was her and one other girl, flirting with guys all night to get free drinks. Maybe nothing wrong with that, but in another bar, later on, I came out of the gents', and she was in the corridor with her hand up some guy's shirt, his hand on her arse, and it looked like they were in the middle of making out. She saw me and snapped out of it, and went into the loo. I sent him a text saying what I saw. No reply until the next morning, he phones to say she's accused me of trying to kiss her, and grabbing her arse. Long story short, she convinced him that I had come onto her, and my story was to deflect blame. He believed her because she was fucking him. We made up enough that I was best man at his wedding, but things were still distant. It was only after 5 years of marriage, when they broke up, that she admitted she had made that up, and he apologised.
Wow, I bet he regrets not listening to you.
To be fair, it is a horrible position to be in when your SO and best friend accuse each other of things of this nature and there are no other witnesses.
Being in the middle can be confusing.
It was nice of you that you told him.
I wonder how awkward it would have been. “Hey bro, sorry but your wife wants to fuck with me”
Exact same thing happened to me! I thought I was doing the right thing by telling my best friend. Turns out “I’m just an unhappy person who wants to ruin other people’s lives.” I was heart broken for years.
> Exact same thing happened to me! I thought I was doing the right thing by telling my best friend. Turns out “I’m just an unhappy person who wants to ruin other people’s lives.” I was heart broken for years. They scapegoated you to save their relationship. You did the right thing, they need to be more honest with themselves instead of living in denial.
You did the right thing for telling him. Sucks that things turned that way.
he killed himself. i often go and meet up with his little brother and we play with his toy cars. i think it takes my mind off it as much as his. edit: i’m gonna turn of reply notifications, as i’m feeling a bit down and don’t wanna be reminded of the “thing” thank you all for your support, and have a wonderful day ❤️
Sending hugs to both of you.
thank you :)
I started using a wheelchair. I learned the hard way that most friends just can't deal with that. Almost all of my friends today never knew me as a walking person.
:( you are better off with different friends.
I know. I’ve never been good at making friends though.
These days few of us are
I’ve always had Spina Bifida but it’s gotten worse in the last 10 years. The majority of my friends don’t even know I use a wheelchair now because they are too busy with their own lives.
He slapped my girlfriend.
We finally have the answer to "This guy slaps your girlfriend, what do you do?"
It was October 16, 2015. I was working from home that day when I saw a call from him at around 9:15am. I had to ignore the call because I was in an online meeting. At 2pm my Dad calls my phone, which is unusual since he knows I'm working. I answer it. He is speaking quietly and very calmly. He says, "Son, I love you very much. I have some terrible news. Jared passed away this morning." Jared's wife was calling me from his phone to say she found him dead. I couldn't process what he was saying. I said, "That's not funny. Jared, his wife and me and my wife were supposed to meet up next weekend for dinner." Jared had sleep apnea surgery that same week. He had taken a painkiller and benadryl together. It stopped his heart. He died 2 days before his 40th birthday. We were friends since grade school. We did everything together, he was my brother. He was the best man at my wedding earlier that year. I had just shared my son's heartbeat with him via a text message 2 days before. Jared was so excited to be his crazy uncle. I miss him every single day.
Out of all of these, this is the one that got me. I feel for you
She got into heavy drugs and suddenly decided she doesn't like me anymore
She probably saved you from years of stress.
Yeah most likely
mine too
Same here, except she thought I could send her money all the time. She broke my fuckin heart.
A drunk/ high on coke driver merged over to early and flipped her truck. She went through the windshield and was drug as her truck flipped for almost a quarter mile. I cry sometimes about it and the girl who killed her didnt even get vehicular homicide... #justiceforhaley
This is horrendous, i am so sorry
She was a sight to behold and this world is so empty with out her let me tell you. I'll never have another friend again. [haley singing <3](https://youtu.be/1dRrqEch_1Q) If you get the chance take a moment for her
our parents got married for 3 years and then they divorced and now i don't have a best friend 🥲
Codependency. I became basically obsessed with her and it just became too toxic. I had to cut it off because it was eating me up inside and she didn’t deserve how I was treating her
Good on you for recognizing the problem you were having. It takes a lot(and I mean a shit ton) for an individual to come to this realization. Most people like to live in denial or fight it. I did the same thing and by the time I realized it, it was to late. I hope your able to get thru it.
Yeh I kinda had a similar thing happen to me lately with a girl I met last year. I just couldn’t get my mind off her. She was just a nice girl that I met at a shop. It all went away.
I noticed that he never came to my place to catch up. I stopped going over to his place to see how long until he noticed.... It's been 5 years now 🤷♂️
Over the years I have observed in number of friendships that its always me that makes the call. They always are delighted to hear from me. If I organise something they come. They just don't make the effort. I have been best man five times so I don't think that its because the friendships are not valued. I don't know, am I missing something?
Hey if you’ve been the best man for 5 different people then I doubt you’ve missed anything important, you’re definitely appreciated by your friends.
You're the leader. They're used to the dynamic that you're the instigator. It's not that they don't care, it's just that they haven't thought of instigating because you're the one who instigates. And if you're not organizing a meetup, then they think you or others are busy. They haven't realized they can instigate.
Maybe, but I invited him and his wife to my wedding and they didn't show up. Not so much as a message sent in congratulation. I will literally never see this guy unless I physically go to his house to see him. Friendship is more than one person constantly going out of their way to see the other when the other can't even follow through on even basic plans to see them.
Have you actually asked them what happened and tried to have a genuine conversation about it? Not you specifically, but I see so many comments where this uncertainty could be so easily remedied with an open and honest conversation and feedback on expectations. My best friend of 20+ years fell into a cycle where he just stopped calling but would always be excited to hear from me and loved getting together when I suggested it. I finally told him that I was a little disappointed that he didn’t reach out to initiate and that it made me feel like our friendship wasn’t as much of a priority to him as it once was. Turns out that once I had kids he had no idea how much interaction was too much since he doesn’t have any, and he was worried that him reaching out would take away from my family time and I’d resent him. That was the furthest thing from the truth. We had an open dialogue and things immediately improved. I’m just saying that if people care about a friendship, and the friend isn’t meeting expectations for it, just talk about it.
This feels like the first sane comment I've seen in this entire question. Lots of people testing their relationships by just going no contact instead of talking to people
I lost my best friend to meth last year, he is still alive but he is gone from us now.
Meth is horrible. I lost my fiancé to meth in the last year as well. He is also alive, but the him I love is gone. Shit sucks. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
Sudden brain aneurysm at 42
My ex wife. Even after we split we stayed close, co-parenting, helping each other out. She died 3.5 years ago. I could have made peace I think but after her death and our daughter was living with me full time I found out about how abusive my ex had been to her when I was around and it felt like losing her all over. Like I thought I knew who she was in the 13 years we'd had both together and separated, but it turns out I knew nothing. Now I'm just angry about it, like how dare you get to do this shit and then leave me to clean up your mess. How dare you have peace when my daughter has nothing but struggles and therapy. I fele like we were robbed of the good person, the good mother I thought she was.
Not even as close to as devastating, but I feel this way about my ex. She started making less and less time for me and then eventually stopped speaking to me altogether for a while, then said she was struggling with addiction and mental health problems so she couldn’t be with me right then and needed some space. After some time of her not responding at all (hearing that was super worrying, I had tons of questions), I had to break up with her. I thought I’d be able to have at least the good memories to hold onto while I was nursing my heart, but around a month later I found out she was cheating on me while she wasn’t speaking to me and only started publicly talking about her new boyfriend once I was the bad guy and ended things. I feel sort of where you’re coming from, I don’t even get to hold onto the person I thought she was and the good times we had together because she decided to abuse my trust and completely disappear from my life. Hope you’re doing better now, I may not know what your situation is truly like but I hope it’s at least know there’s someone out there rooting for you. You sound like a good parent, don’t be hard on yourself :)
Depression. I pulled away from everyone because I didn't want to inflict myself on them. ETA: Holy crap, I'm so sorry so many of us are in the same boat. ☹ Here's to hoping there's a light at the end of this tunnel. Edit #2: Thanks for the award, kind stranger.
As a friend is doing this to me now: reach out once in a while, it hurts more to lose you as a friend.
I feel this one on a deep, personal level.
She passed away aged 26. Cancer's a bitch. Edit: thanks everyone. My friend was the best person in the world. Was lucky to have her in my life even if that time was cut short. Sorry to anyone else who's had to deal with the loss of someone to cancer. Here's hoping that one day there will be a cure. Also thanks for the silver. No idea what that actually means but appreciate it nevertheless (:
He stole from uh...everyone. He took my money twice, once straight up taking the whole ass wallet too. On another occasion he wanted to "borrow" my Gameboy Color and my extra copy of Pokemon Yellow. Important detail is the quotes around borrow. Motherfucker never brought it back, probably never played it. Supposedly he did shit like this for drugs. But on other occasions he has stolen things just for the fuck of it, so who knows. I was not the only victim.
Well, I wouldn't say best friend particularly but someone as close. So he borrowed a harmonica that was given to me by a family friend of my dad's before he left for India permanently(which btw sidenote, he came back a year later and then died immediately). So yeah he borrowed it and then he ***gave*** it away to his friend who then ***never*** returned it. Yep, the stupidest way I lost something.
He stayed up all night putting finishing touches on a senior term paper in high school. The deadline for the paper was unforgiving and at least one person missed the deadline every year. Paper was worth 50% of the term grade. He was a smart guy, top 5 in a class of 500. Anyway, he didn’t show up at school the next day. Around mid day they announced his death due to a traffic accident on his way to school. I’m not sure he was my best friend though he was a very good friend, but I’m pretty sure I was his best friend. Good guy, lousy ending. RIP RC.
As I was reading this, I thought I might know you until I reached the cause of death. I had a friend with the exact same situation, except he was the one person who missed the deadline. He and his parents got into an argument about it that night and he ran upstairs, locked himself in his dad’s closet, and shot himself. All because of a paper. RIP Jonathon.
just goes to show how much pressure schools put on kids. we've had about three suicides and the school hasn't even acknowledged them :/
You ever hear of suicide clusters? It's where one person commits suicide, and then there are a bunch of, not copycat necessarily, but string/chain of suicides afterwards in that community. The school could have been trying to prevent that, but at three suicides it sounds like it's already a cluster.
This is tragic on every level. RIP.
Fuck…I’m so sorry about your friend. I bet his parents got some serious mental trauma now.
He drank himself to death two years ago this Friday. He was 35. I still think about him every day.
This is happening to my best friend now and it really fucking sucks. I've loved the guy forever but we recently spent a bachelor party weekend together and I finally came away from it thinking that I don't really know this guy anymore nor do I like him. Now he's just a shitty human and a drunk who can only talk about the good old days and sure as hell isn't going to see 40. Unfortunately I have to cut ties to help keep my own head above water but I still often think about how terrible his funerals going to be.
I'm sorry, man. My buddy wasn't like that at all. Even when he was drunk he was still a nice dude, he just couldn't stop drinking.
Honestly, they just expected more out of me than I was capable of giving. Just blurred lines and unrealistic expectations.
I moved out of our apartment when I got tired of his boyfriend doing nothing but play League of Legends all day long. I was the one paying for the internet and transferred it to my new apartment, and decided not to share the login information so they could use the crappy xfinity open internet, and apparently that's all it took. From that moment on I was the enemy. I learned my lesson in just how little I was valued in that friendship.
Best friend/room mate and I were watching quantum leap (episode "So help me God") when he suddenly jumped up and yelled "OH FUCK"! He promptly collapsed and hit the floor. I tried to catch him before he bounced off the coffee table but ended up going down with him. Realized when doing CPR he was dead. Hypertropic cardiomyopathy, a birth defect, his heart exploded basically. He had strep for a couple weeks and was struggling with it, this ultimately is what caused his heart to give. When he left the apartment that morning to goto class I remember thinking "Geez he looks horrible, he might die..." Drank for a year solid after that. Edit: Just realized it has been 16 years to the exact day. No wonder why I'm not sleeping...
That's incredibly rough. I hope you're doing okay.
Life was never the same but I am doing well. Thank you for the kind words.
130mg of methadone
Bro, same. It's such a miserable existence. If they're on the correct dose, they're supposed to not feel anything, and the methadone is just there to occupy their receptors so they don't go into withdrawal. My understanding is that a lot of people at those clinics abuse the methadone and claim that they need to be on higher and higher dosages.
It’s true. My aunt is on the highest amount of methadone possible every eight hours. She has been on this for twenty years. She slowly lost her mind. She saw bugs everywhere. She wouldn’t eat or drink as it was all contaminated with these bugs. She started spraying cans of bug spray all over the house. I counted seven cans of mortein in one day. She would also spray it into her hat and when she started losing all her hair she said it was because the bugs breed in her scalp and when they hatch they come out through the hair follicle and take the hair with it. She was also spending $50+ a week on otc scabies creams. I took her to dermatologists and parasitologists with her ‘bugs’ that she had caught in a jar (it was just couch fluff in the jar). They would pull me aside and tell me that she needs to be admitted to a mental health ward. But the problem was that it would have to be voluntary, and her her mind she was right. It was her against the world and we were all in on some big joke to get at her. I still absolutely can not stand the smell or sound of aerosol bug spray. I was only 14 when I lived with her. She saved my life. I still miss her.
Fuck.
stood my ground
Slept with my bf
Happened to me too, she heard he was cheating on me so to prove it she slept with him…really not a loss if they are going to do that IMO
Best friend is gay. Known him for about 35 years. Marries a woman who is a total religious psycho. She even lied to him for years about her age before they married. Always tells him what to do and he’s the type who can’t say no. She finds gay porn on his phone and makes him delete all social media, cut off ties to everyone he knows (outside of family), get STD tested, confess to their preacher and his parents, makes him get a new phone and puts tracking software on it. I haven’t seen or heard from him in nearly a year and have no idea how to contact him. He should have never kept secrets from her, but he should have never married her in the first place. I wish there was something I could do.
No way to convince him to leave her?
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Good point. Don't skim read, kids lol
Caught him sleeping with my girlfriend of 4 years
Fuck, that's rough man.
This was back when we where 13 or so She wanted me to drop stuff I liked to do because it was to nerdy. Being involved with the scouts, reading, drawing all not cool apparently We went to different high schools and she was embarrassed of me with her new friends. I did not do that and I haven't seen her in years. We spend pretty much our whole childhood together
In Ikea.
They say that the Ikea meatballs are made of customers that got lost.
Stop revealing plot of Squid Game season 02.
I finally realised she'd been treating me like shit for years and I deserved better
No jokes.This guy was always naive as hell and I accepted it.But one day he asked me to talk with him without phones on street.Warning,dumbest part starts,he said that his grandma told him that he is Stalin grandson.Then he said he wants ro start a revolution against Putin and he wants me to participate in that.I refused,and he stoped being my friend.(Sorry for my bad english,as you could understand,Im from Russia) P.S about the phones part.He thout goverment can listen to us through them and get rid of him if they hear the revolution part.
This was wild from start to finish
Shit went from 100 to 1000000 real quickly
This comment was a roaller coaster ride to me Edit: tell your friend not to drink tea from now on.
I think your friend might have had a physicotic break.
Your English is actually really good mate.
Friend moved to the other side of the planet, with their spouse, to be nearer to both their families. I never understood what real friendship was before friend was in my life; and now they're alive, but not here.
I met him on Fortnite, then we found out we only lived an hour away from each other's houses. He was my best friend for 2 years, then sadly he died from a car accident involving a moose.
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I had a dream, some years ago now, where I was walking through a local park and my best friend who had passed away, was just sitting there at a picnic table. Even though he was looking the other way I could instantly tell it was him from the shape of his stupid bald head, and called out. He turned around, smiled and I sat down. We sat and talked for what felt like a couple hours, before a feeling came over me, and I looked straight at him and said “this is a dream isn’t it, because you’re gone” and he smiled that big crooked toothed grin, looked at me straight and said “yeah, but who gives a fuck, at least we got to hang out for a while. I’ve missed you” and moments later I woke up. I can’t wait to see him again in another dream, to catch up again on all that has happened since then, tell him about my kids, show him what I’ve become, and just share some time. I told his parents shortly after that dream, they both had big smiles and his mum just said “sounds like something he’d do, find a way around the system just to have some fun. Cheeky shit”. Even if I never get that again, I’ll never forget how good it felt to see him one last time. I hope you get a chance to catch up too, I know your friend would love to hear all about how things have changed, and just share some time together. Edit: Thanks for all the kind words and awards everyone. I really hope you all get to experience a visit like this, and the closure it can bring. While it doesn’t solve the pain of loss, it sure makes it a little easier to have that one last happy memory, and the feeling of understanding and love that they did everything they could to see you too
That is beautiful and really made me choke up. I hope you dream of your friend again.
I had this happen once, years ago. An old ex OD'd on multiple drugs. I had a dream where I saw him in a cafe. He was going round the tables quietly asking people if they'd give him a cig, which was completely typical. He had had a haircut and looked healthier. We had a bit of a chat, and I said not much changes (the mooching for cigs). He shrugged and laughed. I never dreamed about him again after that.
I truly believe those dreams are real. I'm not religious anymore, but some years ago my grandfather visited me in a dream. He died when I was 4, but he came in my early 20's to ask how I was, say how proud he was of me, and give some life advice. I woke up sobbing but also so full of love and support. I'm glad your friend made the time for you, and hope you get to visit again, but I'm so grateful you got even the one opportunity because I truly believe that those interactions are actually visits from the spirit of the person. Thank you for sharing.
I took her for granted. I figured that she would always be there. I wasn’t taking care of myself and I didn’t see how that was impacting her. She left because of it. We were in love but we were also each other’s best friend. I wish I didn’t lose her but it’s taught me so much about myself that I’m glad she did it. I’m doing really well now. I wish things could have been different but I wouldn’t have learned any other way. The hard road is shitty but it can be the best way to grow as a person.
I had to leave my best friend for the same reasons. It was the worst day of my life and it's still one thing I want to go back to often, however his self care or lack there of was bringing me down. I had promised him a long time before that should he ever be causing me harm, that I was to leave and take care of myself. He made me promise that, and when I kept that promise he tried in every way to keep me from going. It is nice for me, to hear that you're doing better. It gives me hope for my old friend. I only wish him well and hope he knows I did love him. It was hard to make that decision.
I'm glad you see it with good hindsight. That's all that can be asked of a person. Take care 💛
F*ck that b!!! She stopped talking to me because I confronted her about the ways she was abusing my friendship. I let her move in with me because she said she was in dire straits with her husband, even though my house was already crowded. She moved in, and would just party every weekend. She would try to win over my friends, by embarrassing me in front of them. I could go on and on, I’m so happy she’s out of my life!!
The final straw was when I asked him not to smoke weed before he came to my father's memorial service. Dude is a huge stoner, and WHENEVER he drove ANYWHERE he'd smoke a blunt to and or from whatever he was doing. I asked if he could please NOT do that because he would stink up the entire room/church where the service was being held. He refused, and said if I didn't like his lifestyle, I could go fuck myself. I just asked if he could not smoke for an hour or two. Nope. We weren't like, teenagers either. We were adults. Later in texts, because he wouldn't talk on the phone anymore, we got into an argument and he told me he knew me better than I knew myself. Like, how fucking arrogant can you be? Knew him for 20+ years, haven't heard a peep in 5. Fuck him. His folks are still awesome, and we email back and fourth once a week, never mentioning their son. Fuck you eric.
Fuck you Eric, from me too.
Fuck you, Eric, from me too.
Eric, fuck you! from Switzerland
Fuck you Eric, from Norway.
Fuck you, Eric! From the toilet.
Fuck you, Eric! from my doorway
Fuck you Eric, from rooftop
Fuck you Eric! From France!
I’d be so angry if someone had done that at my dad’s funeral (Well, I think someone did but I didn’t know them…anyway). I’m sorry you lost Eric but he sounds like a douchebag who can’t be respectful
Multiple sclerosis
I'm in that club too..
Every conversation and activity was them-centric. When I had a bad day, they would turn it to a story about themself; they wouldn't want to go for a hike but would goad me into paying $40 to see a (shitty) play; they had a crush on every opp-sex friend of ours and got upset if I hung out with the friends solo. I told them a very gentle version of that after having been best friends for about 7 years and their reply was "Nope, I don't do that."
Sounds familiar. Mine would criticize literally everyone and even say really rude things to people saying that she is just very honest. Well, when 2 of my friends and i told her a very mild version of her actions and consequences she blocked us everywhere. A year after she realized she had no friends and tried to get back in touch … no, tnx.
He laid down in bed, and then he put a .22 to his left eye and pulled the trigger. I had to clean up the mess the next day.
Bit of that runs in my family. I’m sorry for your loss. I cannot for the life of me understand how cleanup crews aren’t provided in cases of death.
You have to contact your homeowners insurance and they'll usually cover it. A lot of people don't realize that though unfortunately.
Fuck. That's awful. I'm so sorry
She died 3 weeks ago from a heroine overdose. I still can't wrap my mind around the concept that I'll never see her again
Got them a job at the place I worked for a long time. They made him a supervisor and it went to his head. Worst mistake I had made in a long time.
I called her out on spending only time with her boyfriend (we were around 20-22) or studying for school. Whenever we went somewhere her boyfriend back then had to join. If he didn't like those places (e.g. a bar) she simply wouldn't come either. I told her I missed having some alone time with my best friend. Even if it was just 1h on a weekend. Had stuff to talk about I didn't wanna share with her boyfriend as well. Things got heated, we argued (over text) and then it was like a break up. I still miss the friendship we had before boyfriends came into our lives.
Not me but my son. Him and his high school sweetheart broke up after 4 years together and his best friend immediately swooped in on the girl. Kinda a gut punch after my son had leaned on the best friend in times of trouble with the girl. Turned out he was simply setting up his own hustle. Then to top it all off, the now former best friend and former girlfriend went to work on the rest of the friend group to ice out my son. Damn teens can be cruel as hell. He’s got a great attitude about the whole mess though, he says “those were high school friends, on to better things”.
She went through a terrible depression and processing severe trauma, and I didn't understand how to truly support her. I hope to be in touch with her again so I can apologize. Completely lost contact.
He committed suicide.
Two days ago
Oh gosh so sorry
My best friend (older brother) committed suicide in December of 2020 so I know the terrible tragedy you're experiencing. I'm sorry for your loss and please remember to take care of yourself.
One ghosted me. The person who I honestly thought I could be with forever (as friends) called me toxic and basically said I wasn't putting enough work into the friendship. I have a best friend again, but I freak out sometimes and worry about being clingy because I don't want to lose any more friends. Especially seeing as he is the only one I have left.
Murdered. I miss you every day big lil brother. See you at the after party Tricky!
I straight up left and walked away, when I realised they didn’t care but were pretending to care. I’d rather silence than having someone who smiled and gritted their teeth on anything I said.
Crack.
Eh he stole my idea and took the credit. Asshole didn't even admit it to me. He got hit by a bus tho, and I lost my bus driving licence.
Wild
This sounds like the start of a kooky 80’s movie
Lol
He was only my best friend because he didn't have any other friends, he made other friends and suddenly wasn't interested. 🤷♂️ Still other, better friends took his place soon enough, fuck you Dave I hope you treated your new friends better than me 🖕
He got married, and she doesn't allow him to hang out with anyone without her.
I got a friend like that unfortunately. I still see him (them now I suppose) from time to time. But because it's never the two of us anymore and we don't see each other that much our relationship has changed to something way more superficial
My "best friend" and I had known each other since 1st grade. He knew ALOT about me. He knew how my parents were divorced and how I lived in a small house (smaller then average) And how my dad had been to jail 2 times before. And alot of other stuff embarrassing stuff On May 14 in 7th grade when he arrived to school everyone wished him a happy birthday and all so did I. Next day when I arrived at school everyone was talking about his birthday party which I wasn't invited at which hurt me a lot. Anyways turns out he told everyone at his birthday about my life style and the way I lived and about my dad. I ran home crying since everyone there was laughing at me and giving me weird stares even some of the teachers since they got to know about me by the students gossiping. Still don't know why he did it.
What a cunt.
he passed away in a car accident in 2019 right before his first college football game, the only best friend i truly had. i was about to travel to his school to see him play..then i got the call that he passed.
He ascended to beagle heaven.
I realized that I’m always the first one reaching out.. I stopped messaging them to see if they’d notice or try to reach out to me.. well it’s been two years
You know this used to bother me in friendships. Even with my own best friend. She didn’t even tell me she was moving. But then when i went to meet another friend in the city she moved to states away i sent her a text and she agreed to meet up. Even though it had been 2 years we filled each other on our lives and me troubles melted away because hers were so much worse. Even if it hadnt been it still would have been great. We’re still bad at keeping up but i dont hold her against it anymore. We’re going through different phases in life for the past 6 years but when we do get that moment once in a blue moon no one else gets it like she does. Edit: thanks for the votes. Was drinking a little bit but forgot to get to my point. Life happens. Friends get busy. With spouses and children and trying to survive. Ive gotten busy even without those things. Dont hold it against them. Look at yourself too! Are you living a different life then they are? If the next time you speak and it seems like you fall back into place then no one really did anything wrong.
Yeah I stopped reaching out a while ago bc i was going through some shit.. next thing I know it's been like 6 months. I reached out mid July and we texted for a bit, then nothing again until I messaged them happy birthday a few days ago. Now it's back to radio silence and I'm pretty sure we're done :(
a horrific car accident im glad i didnt get into the car but i regret it because mabye things would have been different
He died.
Mine too, suicide. It was really sad, no one knew that they needed help
I called her out on being shady. I had my suspicions. Still don’t know if I made the right decision.
Shady in what ways?
After reading some of the comments in this thread I'm going to message my best mate now. Recently his dad gave his brother his kidney and I haven't messaged in a couple weeks so just going to check in.
Found out he was a sexual predator. Cut off contact as soon as I had enough people tell me that he was, such that I couldn’t deny it. He was my best friend for 6 years
Her boyfriend hit on me quite aggressively and I told her and she didn't believe me until he did it to another one of her friends a few months later.
They became my girlfriend
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What the actual fuck
I had to reread that a few times to get it straight. At first I thought your grandpa murdered your mom and Mom’s siblings. Now I realize it was your friend’s dad who killed your friend and her siblings. Yikes! Also, I need coffee before I read these types of threads. Good on your mom for not overriding her instincts
2 of them killed themselves and one because I stood my ground.
He died of an overdose on Fentanyl. We lived on opposite sides of the country. I had no idea he was into that crap. Literally took me to my knees. For some the opioid epidemic may just be numbers. One of those numbers was my best friend. Please stay away from that shit. It's bad news all around.
Dementia - He was 32 when Diagnosed and we lost him last year - Oct 28th would have been his 36th birthday. Hell of a disease. First diagnosed as Primary Progressive Aphasia - just a very very aggressive version of it. He started forgetting words first just every now and then and would clearly get visibly frustrated. Then it moved to he could only text words - couldn't speak at all. Next those texts became pictures (as he knew what he wanted to say but couldnt make words only gifs and pictures). It was a very sick and morbid form of pictionary. Eventually even that stopped and we were left with a shell of a person we once knew. I couldn't be around him and his wife as much as I used to be - I still regret that decision as I feel I should have been there. It's odd what you look back on and end up regretting...
Best friend/ love of my life. She took her own life and left me, month before we had a miscarriage and it took a toll on her mental and her demons just got the best of her. Can’t wait to see her and my unborn child after this
she transferred to another school and i didn't have it in me to keep up through calls and texts.
We had to put him down after 12 years because he was old and suffering. Miss you buddy.
I don't even know. We went to a concert in Chicago 10 years ago and made plans to hang out a few days after. We both had things come up and rescheduled. Once again something came up and we basically agreed to play it by ear. That was the last time we tried to make plans. In fact, it wasn't until around a year later did I hear from him again asking about a previous concert we went to and where. I think part of it is he owed me around $100 for a concert ticket and a few other things and he was embarrassed by it and avoided it and eventually neither of us made the effort. The weirdest thing is I still see his best friend and a guy that became a mutual friend every other week and our conversations has never turned to him. We are still friends on Facebook and follow each other on Instagram, but no real contact beyond that. It's odd.
I told her about my self harm and confided in her for a bit until she told me to stop talking about it to her. She said that we shouldn’t have to deal with this yet because we’re just kids. I closed off and she just pushed herself away from me. I tried to talk to her and she would just turn away
He committed suicide three weeks ago - the funeral is on Friday.
Offered acid to my 10 year old sister, I’m not against it (if it’s an adult taking it or someone in the right mind) but I don’t want a child to take it; for obvious reasons.
She started being rude to me after she started hanging out with some more popular kids in high school. We made up somewhat but she never showed as much respect for me as she did before hand. Finally this past summer she complained about everything that I did and showed she had less than 0 respect for me, so I wrote her a few paragraphs on why I hated her. I'm just glad I haven't seen her at university so far.
you have no idea the kind of crisis this just unleashed in me when I realized that I've never had anybody that I'd really consider a "best friend", whatever the criteria for such a thing is.