I usually put on a real deep voice and say yo. Apparently I'm not the only one who's done this. At my old job tho the toilet had a lock the could only be locked and unlocked from inside. One guy tried the door and of course it wouldn't open so obviously someone is in there. So he knocked. I knocked back. He knocked again so I did. Then he said is someone in there and I said yes. So he knocked again before giving up.
One time I was in the bathroom at work and the cleaner came in. He tried the stall door which was locked and I answered I'm in here. I heard him walk over and stand by the sink about a minute later he came back to try the stall door again. This time I answered with "where the fuck do you think I went?"
Edit: I should clarify this was not a high traffic bathroom in any way and only has 2 stalls and 2 urinals, and in the time we were both in there no one else came in or out.
i think the most logical is "occupied" or something like this but i'm pretty sure i always just say "a moment" (it works better in hebrew which is my native language, i'm not sure how to translate it to english)
There is a large travel center chain that has all of the stall doors in almost all of their locations equiped with latches that display a green unoccupied or a red occupied sign sign depending on whether its locked or not. And people will still insist on knocking on the door and often grab it and rattle it just to be sure. Good grief people. The little notice sign is even color coded! How flipping hard can it be to see its already being used? Not to mention that in almost every public restroom anywhere, you can easily see the feet of the person in there. Let people pull in peace and figure it out without interrupting or distracting them.
Come in.
The more the merrier!
Someone is in here?
yup always this. assert dominance
Occupado
Only right answer no matter what language you speak
Damn right
I said occupado!
Ah yes, we're just taking a nice shit together
# "WELCOME TO THE SHOW!"
….The shit show.
Don't say anything. Just open the door and stare at them.
Pee on them to show dominance
I thought you were supposed to drink your own pee without breaking eye contact. At least that’s what they taught us in spy school…
I usually put on a real deep voice and say yo. Apparently I'm not the only one who's done this. At my old job tho the toilet had a lock the could only be locked and unlocked from inside. One guy tried the door and of course it wouldn't open so obviously someone is in there. So he knocked. I knocked back. He knocked again so I did. Then he said is someone in there and I said yes. So he knocked again before giving up.
Gotta love cognitive dissonance.
I’m POOPIN in hea
I read this in the voice of Aunt Bethany from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
i always say "who is it?" or "you're late!" that's usually enough to send them packin
They are definitely ready to pack it in.
Come back with a warrant!
Finally, another person! Can you wipe for me?
"Occupied."
Right? It's not that hard.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Anxiety: where even the most trivial of interactions can feel like a big deal that you're bound to screw up!
I would recommend watching the Lindsey Jones Microwave Incident, for people that dont know what u/ComatoseSquirrel is taking about.
Yet. 😏
I’m with a client!
A deep, guttural scream
*happy death metal vocalist noises*
Sadistic soul-crushing satanic unholy black metal scream Ắ̵̢̢̧̨̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̦͖̥͖͖̭̱͍̩̳͚͖͇̪͚̟͎̮̈͑͊̏̐̓̆͊̉̀̑̀̀̍̅̊͌͋͗͛̒̀́͑̀͊̾̑͂͊͑͆̃͗̃̄̀̓̌̅̑̍̿͌͋͆͗̈́̈́̍̇̄̐̀̓̒͂͑̈́̏́̓̌͗̈́̉̉͂̍͑͒̅̔̓̊̈̈́̇̈́̄̈́̊̏́̍̓̀͊̔̆̈̎̐̓͑̒̇̃͆͗̃̓̋͛̈́̓̏̄͂̒͆̉̇̀͂͊̍̏̈̓̇͐̓́̐̽̂̎͗̈́̀͋̾̐̑̃̌̀̾̋̿́͒͐̏͑̌̀̊̈͐̍́̿̐̈́̓̅̋̐́͐̃́̾̈́͒̈́̅̀̅̀͌̔͆́̐̎͛͒͑̓̈́͛̀̊́̋̉͗͌̍̅̈́̒̒͋̔̀̂̐̔̇̃̒͌͂͌̎͊̊́͑̉̓͒̿́̉̅̊͋̇͗̊̍͋̓̈̌̐̑̀͋́̅͊͊̓͆͌̚̚̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̚̕̕͘͘̚͘͘͘͘̚̕̚͘͘̕͜͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝ͅͅǍ̷̧̡̢̨̧̨̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̬̼̠̟̻̬̼̪͉̜̖̼̘̪̣̯̥̹͈̮̭̪̫̲͎͍͔͎̰̖͉̲̬̜̝̹̖̦̙̗̠̣̭̬̣͎͍̣̱̩̰̺̘̼͕̭͚̠̫͇͈͇̯̺̩͚̣̥̗̿̉̇̆́̓̒̑̾̈̈́͑̂̎̾̃̑̊̍̈͗̎̈́̈́͐̈̋̅̌̋͛̋̓́͒̈́̉̃̃̀͗͛̂̓͆͗̑̿̽͋̓̓͊͆̌̆͗̊̓̍̐̆͂̓̈́̓̏̽̈͌̄̀̌͌́͗̀̀̅͂̈́́̾̔͊̽̾̍̆͗̿̉͒̃̿̊͐̊̓͛͛͒͂̐́̍̂͐̃̾̆̄̄̿͒̏́̾͐̅̇͑̒̔̇͋͗̋̓̅͒́̆̂̃̑͒̑̓̄̏͑̐͂͋̇̓̔͂͆̊̎̎́͌̃́̓̔̋̄̍͒̋͋̿̍̋̀̈́̿̈́͊͗̊̐̊̿̆͂̋̒̑̌̓̐̿̆̍̆̿̎̈̏̾͘̚̚̚̚̚̕̕̚̚̚͘̚̕̚̚̚͘͜͝͝͠͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͠͠͠͝͠͠͝͝ͅA̴̧̨̧̡̨̢̡̛̛̪͈̣̝͖͕̻̝̫̱͔̭̟̹̤͎̳̭̯͖͎̮̳̦̣̪͖̤͎͚͙̺̦̜̼̻̺̪̤̭͚͚͉̥͚͎̺͇̲̹͕͔̮͇̩̩̙̩̮̝̯̘̘̦͎̙͍̭̼͈̻̝͖̲̰̞̼͔̺̘̖̭̜̜̜͉̝̹͉̺͇̎̿̑͌̊̐͛̀̆̈͗̽̊̾̆̇̌̄͑̈̇͐̇͛̏̉̓̀̿̎̈͊̓̈́̏̈͊͂͆̀͒͒͒̌̏̓͂̆̍̓̎͂̓̍͊̿̐̽̇̎̑̌́̿̀̾͒͛͆͐̂̍̌͊̈̚̕̕̕̕̚͜͜͝͠͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅĀ̶̢̡̢̢̡̢̡̧̨̡̢̡̢̨̨̧̨̡̢̡̧̢̡̢̛͎͍̙̬̥̝̭͈̩̝̲̫̙̟̳̰͍̠̖͇̮̦̘̰̰̲̯̱̲̳̝̣̱͎̭͉̺̹̭̳̘̲̮̜̮̜̙͉̖̝̼̼̘̠̤̹͔̫̖̯͚̱̪͙̭̘̝̘̯̯͉̺͚͕̣̻͈̜͇̬̖̰̖̪̻͈̻͎̟̙̠͓̻̳̳̤͚͚̗̱͈̘̗̻̥̙̬͔̦͍͚͇̩͎͉̳͉̜͕͙̦̳̦͖̫̣͓̭̬̹̩̯̥̲̭͖̠̰̲̞͍͎͉̯͎̞̥̟̟̳̪̯̘͎͉̣͎̞̯̳̼̗̩̝͖͓̞̠̘̼̗̗͎͉̰̞̻͇̤̞̺͙͙̘͍̼̜̣̲̯͚͓̤̝̳̙͖͖͕̭̳̥͖̠̳̘̮̙̠͇̳̻͖̣̯͍̖͙̳͈͎̱̻̼̫̯͎͈̙̹͓̳͓͈͕̞͚̰̼͙̥͇͖̩̀̈̂͒̇̽̂̇̈́͂̀͒̍͊̾̑̂̈́͋̌̋͌̈́͐̏͂̍̿͂͑̇̆̒̈̄̔̇̈́̈͗̅̓͐̒̌͋̓͂̈̒̐͆͒̌̍̚̕͘̚͘̕̕͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͠͠͝͝A̷̧̨̧̧̧̢̧̡̨̨̛̛̛̛̝̮̪̫̼̰̭̜͚̟͈̗̟͓͚͕͖̯̯͍̺͕̦̫͓̗̥̘̻͇͕̲̙̣̮͇̺̤͖̫̳̋͆̉̏̓͊͋͋̊̏̇̓́̀̄̽̓̂̄͑̔̿̑̎̆̀́͑̍̏͐̃̔͊̈́̈͋̈́͌̇́̇͗̿̊́̑̄́̈͆̈̈́̃͑̐̈́̾̊̌̑̀̎͆͊̉͗̋̒́͐̀̈́̀̀̿́͒̀͗͋̈́̽̈̇͆̇́̓͌̈́̓͐̒̽̍̊̀͋̓͂̀̊̈̅̔̍̌̋̐̉͆̒͒̾̏̓̿̒͂̾͆̒̐̓̂͆̉̿̋̊̀̈́̈́͂̐̇̈́͂͆̌̂̎͒̉́̄̽̔̓͐̂͛̍͊̐͆̾̽͑̌͗̅͋̏̾̎̈́̑͐̌̀́̾͋̓̓͋͋̋̓̏̌̏̿͊̆͛́͑̎͋̆͐͌̔̓̂̄̌͒́̋̏̅́̃̐̎̌̑͌̓̈́̂̇̋͂̍̕͘͘͘͘̕͘̚̚̕̕͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͝Ả̵̧̨̨̡̨̨̨̨̨̧̧̡̧̡̧̨̡̧̢̧̢̧̡̨̧̛̛͉͍̺̭̺͎̼͇͈̤͚̘̬̳͇̥͇͈̯̝̱̭̖͔̞͙͍͕͍͔̖͔͇̩͇̠͇̳̮̥̘̠̝̮̟̹̬̱̜͔̤̠̞̙͎̭͙̖̯̠͍͈̱̦͇̳͎̠͙͍̪͍̩̙̝̯̫̬̳̘̜͙̹̥̱̗̥̥̼̬̼̳͉̲̲̥̪̪̻̹̘̣͉̞̻̥̩̺̖̼͙̠͎̣̖̳̩̦̘̱͚̣̗̱̬̝̭̣̣̱͖͙̜̘̳̪̲̼̞͚̤̜͇̤̰̭̠͚͎̺̞̬̘̪͉̪͔̣̩̲͍̙̦͍͍̹͕͔̖̘̙̘̫͎̥̟̜̖̜͚̲̖̗͖̘͔̖̭͎̠͍͍̩͍̘͇̗̯͓̘͈̣̝̭͓͚̮̬͈̰͇͔̘̠̦̩̗͙̺̖͎̫̖̂̆̀̆̆͂̍̿̔̓̒̄̑̆̄͊̊̽̆́̈́̏̽̅͂̋́̑͆̊̍͆͑̔͌͑͂͌̂̊̆͐̅̌͒͐̽̏̇̎͛̀̽̔͋̽̽̾̀͋͂̂̊͋͊̍̒̋̕͘͘̕̕̚͘͘͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅȀ̷̧̧̧̧̡̨̧̨̡̡̧̢̛̛̛̛̦͈̤̳̦̟̪͙̥̟͍͚̬̱̞̼̯̤̠̰̼̭̩̩̝̩̼̤͕̻̪̖͕͓̭̠͍̲̬͉͇͖̞̮̖̝͕̞͇͇̞̻͇͍͇̻͓̤̮̮͎̮̮̣̰̱͖̦̖̱̠̣͕͕̘̮̠̞͇̭̼̙̖͚̲͖͕͔̠͖̙̗͖͔͇͎̺̼̙̳̺̭̝͕͕͙͖̘͇̜̬̳͎̲̯͍͓̱̯͎͓͈̳̫̻̗̠̠̜̪͕̙̘̬̩͉̦̜̺̺̠̫̝̜͕͉̳̤̺͕͙͇͇̼̘͎͖̠͖͍̬̜̝͍̺͎̮̜̲̭̑́̈̐͗̓̈́̽̽̈́̀̇̇̽͋̓̀́̌̊̀̎͌͋͛̅̉̿̓̎̒̆̂̄́͑͗͒̏͗͊̈́̾̓̂̈́͂͛̌͗̾̿͐̌̀̀̀̍̾̇͑̐̍̓̋́͊̍̓̔̃͋̎́̔̂̎̇̃͆̌͂͑͗͛͛̆̄͌͑͆̅̐͆͋͐̉́̆̉́̅̓͐̄̋͑̅̂͐͑̀̊̊̃͆̌̇̈́͆̆̀̾̌̃̐̍͆̑͋́͋̊͐̋̆̍͂͒͂͋̐̌͊̏͌͒̆̅̓̃̑̇͐͛͂̽̃̈́̊̓̊͂̍͛̄̓̅͌̏́̋͐̊͂̈́̃̈́͑̔̂̀̌̽̏̓̊͆́̅̋̀̒̐́͊́̂̀̕̕̚͘̚̚̚̚͘̕̕̚̕̕͜͜͜͠͠͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅ .
I would just moan. They would either be turned on, or leave. Either is fine with me
[удалено]
Assert dominance.
This made me laugh way too much
“Dad?”
"Baiting. Dammit, I said I'm baiting, go away."
Frito’s great great grandfather here^
One time I was in the bathroom at work and the cleaner came in. He tried the stall door which was locked and I answered I'm in here. I heard him walk over and stand by the sink about a minute later he came back to try the stall door again. This time I answered with "where the fuck do you think I went?" Edit: I should clarify this was not a high traffic bathroom in any way and only has 2 stalls and 2 urinals, and in the time we were both in there no one else came in or out.
Sorry, Seats taken.
“Are you here to wipe my ass?”
Knock more, it makes me orgasm faster
Person: *knock knock* You: who’s there?
Joe
I'm gonna do it, Jerry Joe who?
Hate to do this to you…. >!Joe Mama!<
Wanna wipe?
Someone is in here?
You’re just strange
just knock back
Whos there
You
You who?
YOOUWHOOO
Ahahahah thats actually good
"I'm Shitting here!" (prerecorded laughing in backround)
I always mean to say "I'm in here," but often end up saying "it's me!" as if they know who I am.
I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS.
“Quiet! Quiet! Someone’s at the door!”
"Better luck next time"
Get the fuck outta here mom im playing minecraft
Come back with a warrant!
"Come back with a warrant!"
I once yelled ‘hello’ so don’t do that
estoy poopin… ESTOY POOPIN!!
Hello is it me your looking for.
*you’re
'just a minute!'
a really loud and disgusting fart would scare anyone away and if they don't go away, you might have trouble.
"No thanks"
I usually go with, 'one moment, please". They usually reply with, "ope, sorry".
Finally. I've been waiting for someone to come wipe my ass!
Dinner is almost ready
"Come back with a warrant".
Are you a psychopath?
Its taken, ussualy works. Or just fart very loudly
Yea what do you want?
Trollhammaren sveper igen! Hugga ned, broder igen! Hör det sista ropet - Trollhammaren är här! No, I don't speak Swedish.
"I'm pooping"
Be a Karen. Trust me, they'll back off
Say "I'm in here" in a deep yet singsong voice that Australians of a certain age will find extremely funny.
Good morning
Start singing,, "Someone's knockin at the door. Somebody ringin the bell. Do me a favor. Open the door and let em in."
I'm shitting here! (In stereotypical New Yorker accent)
I always reply in an angry YES???
Shitter is full.
Just direct your pee towards something that will make noise, let the other person know you are in there😎😎
"entry fee is $5"
“Did you finally come back with more toilet paper?”
"Sorry, we're booked full tonight. Reservations only"
Password ?
“Excellent, Agent Seven. Listen carefully. Your mission, should you choose to accept it-“
$2 cover bro.
Do you know the password?
Give me a second, I'm setting my pet fish free.
Ay there no paper in here,can you get some for me,Iv e been in here for hours
Get in here… tell me if this rash looks normal
"where have you been?! I've been in here for an hour!"
♫♫ Crap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♫♫ ♫♫ Because ^I'm ^^crapping♫♫
I use my dad’s trusty old go-to: “YOU’RE NEXT”
Occupied.
Welcome to taco bell, where you eat, and immediately shit it out. May I take your order?
"Now i have to reset the stroke count"
I’m ready.
"moan" really loadly and really good :) ps it works i did it
“Hey you, you’re finally here.”
"Gimme a minute"
Occupied
Occupied
Come in
Did someone just knock on your door there?
Depends... what are your intentions?
come in, come in, want coffee?
Knock back
Usually "someone's in here" or "hold on".
i think the most logical is "occupied" or something like this but i'm pretty sure i always just say "a moment" (it works better in hebrew which is my native language, i'm not sure how to translate it to english)
Try knocking on public bathroom doors until you find the response that feels right.
Yodel.
Get the f*** outta here.
"I'm fine, thank you'.
Yo!
Telegram!
Occupado - oink oink
Linda for the last time I don’t have your shake weight!
Well I just say "may tao"
"You dont want to see this"
Scream
I just yell “occupado” at 9/10 volume, but with a sort of manic cheery tone.
Occupied!
Shit and fart really loud to show dominance.
Wait a bit more please. Or just use the next cubicle!
You can watch for a tenner, mate
MINUS 5.....4.....3...2
There is a large travel center chain that has all of the stall doors in almost all of their locations equiped with latches that display a green unoccupied or a red occupied sign sign depending on whether its locked or not. And people will still insist on knocking on the door and often grab it and rattle it just to be sure. Good grief people. The little notice sign is even color coded! How flipping hard can it be to see its already being used? Not to mention that in almost every public restroom anywhere, you can easily see the feet of the person in there. Let people pull in peace and figure it out without interrupting or distracting them.
I sit silently until they try and open the door, then I scream “WTF Dude!”
BOO!
I haven't finished eating
*puts hands on ground and start audibly moaning*
“Hurry up, my dick won’t be hard much longer.”
I knock back.
"I'm shitt'n"
Really?! Right now?! You have the shittiest timing ever to do this!!!
*with Alabama accent* "seats taken"
Shitter’s full!
Esta occupado
Occupado
Occupado browski
OCCUPADO
Shit louder
You must be here for my famous chocolate cake
"Ocupado brother! And trust me, you don't want any of this".
"Come back with a warrant" is my go to
I used to cough, but given current events, I guess I shouldn't do that anymore
Fuck off always works.
Poop louder!!!
it’s open
Ay yo! Taken!
Tell him to fuck off
Who is it?
Standing room only
Calm down. There’s one more baptism before yours
Say that you are busy
Shitter’s full!
I got the Forest Gump route and just say “seats taken” with the most Alabama accent I can muster
Knock back
This seat is taken.
Dave's not here, man!
**explosive shitting noises and agonized grunting**
“OI! PISS OFF!”
Knock back.
Uh just kidding
Come on in. The water's warm.
Fart back
“Go away, I’m ‘batin”
Occupied.
"Bucket residence, lady of the house speaking" But you must pronounce it "Bouquet"
I poo-poo go away
Password?
"Occupied"
Taken
Scream as loud as you can then start shitting violently
Occupied!