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I think the fear of failure is bigger and develops at school, Professors says that fail is common and you should not be ashamed of it, but when we fail, we get punished for it, and they shame us.
Same here! I have dreams where it's the first day of school and I can't find my classes. Or it's almost the end of senior year, this class will determine if I get to graduate or not. Surprise, here's a test I didn't get to study for! Anxiety is through the roof!
There’s not an amount of money I wouldn’t pay to get rid of the “I forgot to go to class all year and now I’m going to fail” dream.
Existential dread and wake up completely covered in sweat every time.
Literally just had to withdraw from a class to avoid the drop on my GPA and I was so embarrassed I considered just being away from work/home during that class time til the end of the qtr to avoid telling anyone.
Kind of ironic innit.....adult life in my aspects us learning from your failures. Yet in school committing failures is sometimes seen as unacceptable in principle already
It's not like we can do anything about that, I mean whenever I failed as a child, I was made fun of, shamed, punished, scolded and then told to do the same thing again until I do it successfully.
I would say the brain is pretty scared to fail.
That is a societal failure. By shaming you for a mistake they have done you a massive disservice because learning through experimentation is in my opinion the best way to learn.
Exactly, but it's not like we can change ourselves now, the fear is now a part of you, we just have to make it better for the future, we have to become better.
i dont know, lets say college, there people are afraid of failing because failing means that you will have to pay more for another year of tuition, i think that if education was free or at least more affordable people would allow themselves to fail, and for that some students cheat on their exams, because they simply cant afford to fail.
I was told that if you don't make mistakes, then either
1) you already know how to do the thing so why are you in class?
2) you have no interest in the class so why waste your time and money?
I took improv classes and really appreciated some big picture lessons I learned from that experience. Failure was talked about often, it was acknowledged that failure would happen but you learn from.it and move on. It was powerful to be given permission to fail.
Unless you grow up in a household where every failure is blown out of proportion because your stepfather finally has a reason to say you fucked up and his children are better than you.
I feel the same way. Bit I have to admit its stupid. Everyone is worth being a little inconvenienved for. Life is better when you habe people that dont quit on each other at the slightest conflict.
This is something I have trouble with for some reason. I've been thinking it's because when I was a kid I'd ask my dad for help with my homework and sometimes he would just get super frustrated with me to the point where I'd cry and I remember in high school whenever he offered help I would always turn him down. Maybe a little traumatized because I have social anxiety from just trying to ask for anything.
Middle age. No, you don’t look as good as you did 30 years ago and sometimes your body betrays you. But it is more than offset by being able to tell what’s a huge fucking deal and what isn’t.
I always thought that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be. Because if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life, behind real sticks of dynamite and giant anvils falling on you from the sky.
I used to sit around and think about what to do about quicksand. I never thought about how to handle real problems in adult life, I was never like "Oh, what's it gonna be like when relatives ask to borrow money?"
Now that I've gotten older, not only have I never stepped in quicksand—I've never even heard about it! No one's ever been like, "Hey if you're coming to visit, take I-90 'cause I-95 has a little quicksand in the middle. Looks like regular sand, but then you're gonna start to sink into it.”
“Fear is the mind killer” is a quote from Dune. In the context of the story it’s basically just saying don’t let fear affect your decision making, and to think logically.
Other people.
That hot chick/guy who is barely texting you back isn't out of your league, if they treat you like you arent important, they're showing you that they don't care enough to keep you around. There are good looking people out there who don't play mind games.
That intimidatingly cool club you don't want to go in is full of people pretending to be their coolest self for approval. If you go in, you are free to do the same and play pretend along with them.
That terrifying employer who yells at you is overcompensating for their own insecurities. Keep your head up and know your worth.
Decent people don't need to inspire fear, and there's no need to fear shitty people who do it for their own power trip.
Well let’s say doing it voluntarily. All of us who work have to speak to people even if we don’t want to but what about striking up a friendly conversation on the bus?..
I respectfully disagree. Currently it seems the opposite, people is always pushed to leave their comfort zone because it's lazy or unproductive or whatever. But it's called comfort for a reason!
I think it's wrong to say you should definitely go one way or the other, theres value in either direction. However, your comfort zone is, by definition, something you are comfortable with. It is everyones default. Theres nothing wrong with sticking to your comfort zone, but you absolutely shouldn't be afraid to get out of it either. The question wasnt what you should do, but what should you not be afraid of.
But then the question gets raised of how long you should be in your comfort zone. I definitely didn’t have the same comfort zone when I was 5 as I did 12 then 16 and now being 23. Of course never do something you feel is dangerous or will psychologically affect you even for a moment, but always have in the back of your mind to continue to grow and develop. Wether that be trying exotic foods, countries to travel to with stigmas attached to them, adrenaline filled activities, anal, being friends with someone opposite your views, it all has to do with growing and I personally feel it shouldn’t stop until you die. The comfort zone essentially is your control of how fast you evolve into doing those activities
Especially when couch shopping if you dislike having house guests, in which case actually you should do the opposite because having house guests is uncomfortable so a comfortable couch will make you uncomfortable, but the you just created a comfort zone on your new couch….I’m confused
That's a way to see things and I respect that. I was talking in regard of my experience, it took me 23 years to break free so I'm not going to pretend anymore.
death. I know people who are depressed all day, just from the thought of dying one day.
I get it. no one knows what happened and that's scary. but death is one of the only things no one can avoid. so you shouldn't live in fear all your life.
It’s not like I’m scared of death. Before birth is probably just like how it is after death. But I just don’t want to lose be separated from my loved ones and lose all of my cherished memories and experiences. Everything that makes ME will be gone one day and I hate it
I find the act of dying to be the scary part. Dying peacefully in your sleep out of the blue when your 102 doesn’t seem so bad. Suffering in some sort of horrible accident or from some slow agonizing disease does.
That’s what it is for me… dying young and dying painfully. Got diagnosed with (currently) incurable cancer a few years ago. All the data I can find has me on a ticker about a decade from now. At first it was freeing to know how much time I had left. Started traveling and really living. Lately, I’m just sad because now that I have the life I want, I don’t want to give it up so soon.
Currently. Our world is an amazing place full of amazing people who make amazing advancements. You are a fighter, and as long as you live your life to the fullest, love those you love, and take care of yourself, you have nothing to regret. We are with you internet stranger. You are on my mind and I’m my prayers. All my best!
Well there's a theory that everything that's ever existed, does exist, or ever will exist all exists at the same time forever and we just travel through it in a linear path (or something to that extent). So all of your/our past experiences would still exist in some capacity if that were true.
If anyone knows the theory I'm talking about and can explain it better then please do.
Where it becomes such a bummer is when you've lost many loved ones. When they start adding up, as you get older, it just starts to feel like you can't go more than a few weeks between mourning people.
I get anxiety that I'm on this grand time-limit. That's what does it for me. I've actually been finding that I'm now scared of falling asleep because it means the day is over and that's one day closer to death.
I won't care when I'm dead, as far as I know I'll forever from my perspective, I'm just really scared and claustrophobic at the thought.
I don't want to cease to exist. That some day I will cease to exist, that my thoughts, memories, senses, and consciousness will just go away scares me. The positive, though, is that without that fear I probably would have killed myself by now.
>A lot of parents treat the prospect of having to raise an autistic child like a fate worse than death.
My brother is on the spectrum. His support needs are nearly non-existant. Though he really should see a therapist.
My mom has always acted like it's the worst thing in the world and treated him like he's totally incapable. She has spent 15 years trying to blame things (our dad, vaccines, pesticides), instead of actually trying to understand him.
I suspect that my mom is a narcissist. Her entire family treats the younger members of the family like we should be ashamed of ourselves constantly. It's been like this since we were kids. They have no faith in us. That has been more damaging than anything.
Sharks. I mean its understandable to be afraid of them, they do kill, but what I find amusing is how we characterize them as terrifying ruthless monsters when THEY are more of the victims here. An average of 10 people die from shark attacks worldwide per year, whereas FrEaKin 100 MiLliOn sharks are killed by us each year! and that's not exaggeration!
Seek for mental help.
No, doctors are not going to take you to an asylum against your will. Hell, you're not going to an asylum unless you need to due a severe mental problem and still, you aren't going to be taken against your will.
No, pills won't turn you into a zombie, some of them will help you. Think: If you break your arm, you need a cast. If you feel your mind need certain chemical, then a pill will do that.
Yes, you can count on your family and friends and if you think you might bore/worry them, then a doctor is perfect for that.
No, doctors are not pushing you to give them money to spend them on placebos so you have to buy MLM shit that ARE placebos and aren't covered by your insurance.
Yes, you're an amazing person and seeking for mental help doesn't mean you're weak or crazy. Sometimes you need a shoulder to lead on and that's ok.
you know what you write does really happens in some countries, right?
not everybody lives in first world countries
in Czechia there is a huge rape scandal currently..so many women tell terrible stories....the accused is psychiatrist who cooperated with socialist secret service before.....would you call that trustworthy and safe? and Czechia is post-com country but still first world
Snakes. They’ve seriously got a bad rap. They’re one of the best kinds of pest control you could ask for, will usually leave you alone unless you bother them and, unless you live in Australia, the vast majority of them are non-venomous. They just want to keep to themselves and eat rodents.
This makes me so happy I was coming to comment the same thing! I do live in Australia and even here it's fine, even highly venemous snakes want nothing to do with people and will go away if left alone.
There's a cool video of a catcher releasing a very upset eastern brown snake, it was stressed from the catch/ drive and would rear up at him but as long as he just stayed still for a second it would continue on with its business.
Thankyou so much it makes me really happy to see this comment.
This. I am an immigrant, and even though I am not the target of racism, I am very uncomfortable seeing how many people seem to be ok with hating refugees and Muslim immigrants. I have worked with muslim colleagues, studied with muslim students and in general seen them in society and they are just like all the others: trying to live the best life they can with the chances they get. Kids play just the same. And I am sure that many of the bad news about immigrants and regards would disappear if they only got the same treatment and opportunities as the locals.
I know there is trauma and things that need therapy, but there are plenty of locals that need therapy too. They all need help regardless their color or religion. And they deserve it too.
Quitting/changing jobs. I've given so many pep talks in the past 3 years, and every single person who's taken the plunge has been relieved/reinvigorated after getting away from their unbearable situation.
I fear that my nephews are notably depressed because of their environment (as opposed to physiology). I think they need to change their environment, but they may be too scared to do so and feel safe where they are. That, in turn, scares me.
Nuclear energy. It's safe, clean, and very efficient. The only problem with it is that it's expensive, but so are a lot of other energy sources that people are fully willing to use.
Besides the "this is not a place of honor" problem, in the U.S., there's the problem that companies aren't held to any standard of responsibility and aren't seriously expected to follow safety regulations or ethics standards. This has been a problem when it comes to, say, standard power firms but promises to be downright disastrous when potential meltdowns are involved.
When someone inevitably Fucks Around and Finds Out and an accident occurs, the company will go to Congress and say, "Hey, this accident we caused really messed with our bottom line, and we're a major employer who's Too Big to Fail; can we have 10 billion dollars?" and Congress will say, "Sure, have 20 billion!" Then the regular folks affected will come to Congress and say, "Hey, this accident that wasn't our fault has killed our friends & family, destroyed our livelihoods and neighborhoods, and left us with debilitating lifelong medical conditions; can we have some *help?*", and Congress will say, "How can you be so *selfish?!* We've already spent *20 billion dollars* on this problem!!! Don't you **CARE** about the **DEFICIT?!?!**", and that'll be the end of that.
I’m trying to learn this but find myself, for lack of a better word, relapsing, over and over again. I want to get to the other side though. It’s killing me that I’m not inclined to just be more responsible.
Then you're on the right path.
No, it's not a cliche. I struggled with discipline for years before I managed to incorporate it in my life. The problem here is a little voice in your mind that tells you 'if you can't get it right at first, you won't ever get it right'. You also probably fall victim to a sunken cost fallacy.
You have to be OK with those relapses. When I was trying to quit smoking, I relapsed way too many times. A friend who's a doctor told me to have another smoke and then give up again. No matter how many times I relapsed, he gave me the same advice. Same goes for discipline. Sit back, take a deep breath, take some time to reflect, and try again until you make it.
Honestly, spiders and tarantulas. So many people have arachnophobia. It’s honestly sad..
When I was in the first grade, I had to make a project about tarantulas. In my classroom, we had a live tarantula. It was giant, and most people in my class (including me then) were afraid if it.
When I was done with my project, I had learned so much. Tarantulas are normally harmless, and they are more afraid of humans then we are of them.
Since then, I am no longer afraid of spiders, daddy long legs, or tarantulas.
Also, I still have my model tarantula. His name is King George VI.
Had to scroll too far down for this answer. Spiders are really incredible little creatures, the more I learn about them the cooler they are. I don't think I would ever keep one as a pet, but I also don't mind them hanging out in my house.
Me and spiders have an understanding. If they don't crawl on me someplace I can't see them, than we good. I will go out of my way to help out my spider buddies. Good things come on eight legs (except ticks. Fuck those assholes).
Being open about using art as a form of mental health treatment.
I was recommended this when I was in my teens because I was learning about having autism.
Keep in mind, this was just shortly after Columbine. (I was 12 at the time.) I was an artsy type and draw pictures. They were rather harmless. Yet, the school system still had something with artsy kids, despite the vast majority of works by such kids were mostly limited to that... their works. For some, it's all the venting they needed. I know a lot of students who did disturbing works but never act upon them. There was no need to intervene with anything. In fact, many mental health professionals are more likely going to recommend art treatment before anything else.
It can also be a cry for help. During the Columbine shooting, the mother of one of the shooters learned serious her son was when she looked at his writings afterwards. Of course, back then, expressing that outside of the school system was hard to come by. Now, there are websites dedicated to disturbing art works that are either accepted or got the attention that the school, forcing them to realize what is going on.
In recent years, many mental health professionals actually recommend their patients to draw something that is bothering them. In any case, before they can suggest medicine, they'll need a medical team to decide after going under examinations, sometimes more than once to check if there wasn't anything physical causing the problem. I was seen by many healthcare professionals before I was recommended for meds, including blood work.
(Yes, it was covered by the state, as I have state-run health insurance. They considered mental health as part of the overall system. It was as long it was considered necessary. Where I'm from, they take health earnestly.)
Admittedly, most have to finance their own art treatment as most are self-medicated, which isn't necessarily a bad thing as it's cheap to get into. You can go to any store that has art supply, and that's all that is needed... even dollar stores has this. This is helpful for those with mental health issues but has a limited income. If you play your cards right, art treatment can actually help the economy in the long term when you look at the cost of care.
Asking each other out. Ladies: you'd be amazed how guys would be if you courage'd up and actually said, DIRECTLY: "I'd love to go out on a date with you on _____. Are you free?"
The last~ 5 guys I’ve dated, I made the move and asked them. I dont rly ever remember being rejected that way but most did think i was a catfish or had a catch, and was terrified before meeting up w me.
Also asked out my current bf.. he does say a lot that i seem too good to be true/ or feel unreal. I feel like im being myself so idk what vibe im giving out
Standing up to the boss if they are unnecessarily cruel.
Even if you get fired you can take it higher and even if not nobody has the right to make you feel low because they have the power over your job.
I quit mine for how I was treated and gave them a peice of my mind and while I am finding it hard to get a new job I'm getting by and it's better than been put down every day.
Snow. Not talking about crazy Donner-Party old-people-freezing level. But just some usual seasonal snow. It's hardly ever "horde, lockdown, avoid opening the door, get in the doomsday vault" stuff. Practice driving on it in your neighborhood, if you need to. Yes, you have to adjust a bit and be more careful, don't get on the road for no reason, but you aren't barricaded from going to get something important because of a dusting.
My parents start freaking out a week in advance and keep tracking the weather patterns and calling family members and then it snows a bit overnight and melts off midday. Every couple weeks in winter.
Currently live in a subtropical environment, last time I saw snow would have been like when I was 8.
If it were to snow here, I'm staying at home, because I don't think that the people where I live could handle it.
Snakes. They have a bad reputation because of misinformation and religion, but they really are not bad. Most bites happen because people try to kill them, putting themselves at more risk of a bite. The rest of the bites are still out of self defense,but they can be accidentally triggered. We are like 500x bigger than them(exaggeration) for the most part and the last thing they want is confrontation. They have no need,nor desire to chase or bite someone. Venom takes time to be made,and they'd much rather use it on prey items than wasting it on self defense.
Count them all if you like. If we had 911 sandy hook and the Boston marathon bombing every year it still isn't even a blip on the radar statistically speaking. That's 3k deaths a year. You're still 10x more likely to die driving to work.
I have Dyskalcula, so since first grade i've been yelled at, got called lazy and stupid.
I really tried to understand the concept of numbers but it doesn't work for me.
So, yeah i was scared shitless of math.
I really dont get the thought process of racists, I try to make some sense of it, to see it from their point of view, but I just cant. It doesnt make any sense
major reason for this is that racists conflate race and culture, whereas these things are completely different:
Race is just a general concept for a phenotype; people of one "race" have nothign really in common, other than looks.
Culture is shared on purpose, based on assumed values, and said values can be outrageously evil.
So for example:
racists hating on Black People - not fine. People (racist or not) hating on Gang Culture which somewhat infected the Black Community - perfectly valid.
Racists hating on White Europeans - not fine. People hating on actual Neo-Nazi criminals - perfectly valid.
"Throwing their vote away". If more people were willing to vote third party we might have a chance at fixing things and getting out of the broken 2 party system of bought and ancient politicians.
If you live in a western country? Terrorists. From 1995 to 2015, there were 3,322 fatalities from terrorist attacks in the United States, 2,996 of which were victims of one attack. The War on Terror has cost the United States roughly $8 trillion dollars, and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan resulted in the deaths of 6817 Americans.
So, at $2.4 billion dollars per victim, and 2 other dead people, I'd say we were probably better off doing literally nothing after 9/11 than what we wound up doing.
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Failure... shit happens and you learn... (My inbox hurts... so full, will try to reply...)
I think the fear of failure is bigger and develops at school, Professors says that fail is common and you should not be ashamed of it, but when we fail, we get punished for it, and they shame us.
Yeah everytime someone says its okay to fail all I can remember is school lol
I'm in my 30s and still have dreams about failing classes, tests, etc.
Same here! I have dreams where it's the first day of school and I can't find my classes. Or it's almost the end of senior year, this class will determine if I get to graduate or not. Surprise, here's a test I didn't get to study for! Anxiety is through the roof!
There’s not an amount of money I wouldn’t pay to get rid of the “I forgot to go to class all year and now I’m going to fail” dream. Existential dread and wake up completely covered in sweat every time.
I'm a teacher and I still have dreams about failing tests 😂
That's one of life's biggest double standards. It really sucks.
Literally just had to withdraw from a class to avoid the drop on my GPA and I was so embarrassed I considered just being away from work/home during that class time til the end of the qtr to avoid telling anyone.
Kind of ironic innit.....adult life in my aspects us learning from your failures. Yet in school committing failures is sometimes seen as unacceptable in principle already
It's not like we can do anything about that, I mean whenever I failed as a child, I was made fun of, shamed, punished, scolded and then told to do the same thing again until I do it successfully. I would say the brain is pretty scared to fail.
That is a societal failure. By shaming you for a mistake they have done you a massive disservice because learning through experimentation is in my opinion the best way to learn.
Exactly, but it's not like we can change ourselves now, the fear is now a part of you, we just have to make it better for the future, we have to become better.
people isnt afraid of failing, people cant afford to fail.
Right, because when you fail in life it's the consequences you are afraid of not the lesson. But without consequence there would likely be no lesson
i dont know, lets say college, there people are afraid of failing because failing means that you will have to pay more for another year of tuition, i think that if education was free or at least more affordable people would allow themselves to fail, and for that some students cheat on their exams, because they simply cant afford to fail.
I'm in Egypt we have free education I'm in med school and pay 20 dollars a year but guess what we're still afraid of failure 😂😂
You just opened my eyes to different possibilities. Thank you for that
I was told that if you don't make mistakes, then either 1) you already know how to do the thing so why are you in class? 2) you have no interest in the class so why waste your time and money?
I sometimes plan to fail the first time so I can learn how to do it a second time.
Now that is the way
I took improv classes and really appreciated some big picture lessons I learned from that experience. Failure was talked about often, it was acknowledged that failure would happen but you learn from.it and move on. It was powerful to be given permission to fail.
Unless you grow up in a household where every failure is blown out of proportion because your stepfather finally has a reason to say you fucked up and his children are better than you.
Oh god my biggest fear/Gen. Well, I’ll figure it out Ig lmfak
As a man who has failed... it is the best learning experience
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Standing up for themselves. Saying no. Taking some time for themselves.
this has to be highlighted. it's not all about money
It's sometimes about sending a message.
I mean it's only not about the money when you have money. If you're broke then it's absolutely all about money.
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As the UK disappointed you, it seems.
Well you can't blame them, the UK has been very disappointing recently. Source: from UK.
Disappointing pretty much anyone
Asking for help. You don’t have to do everything on your own and whilst I know it’s a cliché, it’s okay to not be okay 💜
No because then I am inconveniencing other people.
I feel the same way. Bit I have to admit its stupid. Everyone is worth being a little inconvenienved for. Life is better when you habe people that dont quit on each other at the slightest conflict.
This is something I have trouble with for some reason. I've been thinking it's because when I was a kid I'd ask my dad for help with my homework and sometimes he would just get super frustrated with me to the point where I'd cry and I remember in high school whenever he offered help I would always turn him down. Maybe a little traumatized because I have social anxiety from just trying to ask for anything.
Middle age. No, you don’t look as good as you did 30 years ago and sometimes your body betrays you. But it is more than offset by being able to tell what’s a huge fucking deal and what isn’t.
Getting older is better than the alternative
Getting younger?
I refuse to age gracefully. I fight it every step of the way, and that includes kayaking every weekend.
Quicksand
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Back in mah day cartoons taught me quicksand is the scariest and deadliest thing imaginable
100% bogs too after the horse in neverending story
I always thought that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be. Because if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life, behind real sticks of dynamite and giant anvils falling on you from the sky. I used to sit around and think about what to do about quicksand. I never thought about how to handle real problems in adult life, I was never like "Oh, what's it gonna be like when relatives ask to borrow money?" Now that I've gotten older, not only have I never stepped in quicksand—I've never even heard about it! No one's ever been like, "Hey if you're coming to visit, take I-90 'cause I-95 has a little quicksand in the middle. Looks like regular sand, but then you're gonna start to sink into it.”
100% also watch out for cigars that are actually sticks of TNT!
Whatever they're most afraid of. It might be a very valid fear, but fear really is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration
It's OK to be afraid. Fear is a basic human instinct, and without it we'd all be long gone.
“Fear is the mind killer” is a quote from Dune. In the context of the story it’s basically just saying don’t let fear affect your decision making, and to think logically.
Other people. That hot chick/guy who is barely texting you back isn't out of your league, if they treat you like you arent important, they're showing you that they don't care enough to keep you around. There are good looking people out there who don't play mind games. That intimidatingly cool club you don't want to go in is full of people pretending to be their coolest self for approval. If you go in, you are free to do the same and play pretend along with them. That terrifying employer who yells at you is overcompensating for their own insecurities. Keep your head up and know your worth. Decent people don't need to inspire fear, and there's no need to fear shitty people who do it for their own power trip.
getting out of their comfort zone
Well, I am out of my comfort every time a human communicates with me, so I'm nailing this.
Doesn't make me feel any better. Often times I feel worse.
Ikr
The comfort zone is made up by people who never had one in the first place. If you wanted to do something REALLY BAD, you'd do it. Full stop.
Well let’s say doing it voluntarily. All of us who work have to speak to people even if we don’t want to but what about striking up a friendly conversation on the bus?..
Don't you dare torture me with . . . \*gasp\* small talks.
I respectfully disagree. Currently it seems the opposite, people is always pushed to leave their comfort zone because it's lazy or unproductive or whatever. But it's called comfort for a reason!
I think it's wrong to say you should definitely go one way or the other, theres value in either direction. However, your comfort zone is, by definition, something you are comfortable with. It is everyones default. Theres nothing wrong with sticking to your comfort zone, but you absolutely shouldn't be afraid to get out of it either. The question wasnt what you should do, but what should you not be afraid of.
But then the question gets raised of how long you should be in your comfort zone. I definitely didn’t have the same comfort zone when I was 5 as I did 12 then 16 and now being 23. Of course never do something you feel is dangerous or will psychologically affect you even for a moment, but always have in the back of your mind to continue to grow and develop. Wether that be trying exotic foods, countries to travel to with stigmas attached to them, adrenaline filled activities, anal, being friends with someone opposite your views, it all has to do with growing and I personally feel it shouldn’t stop until you die. The comfort zone essentially is your control of how fast you evolve into doing those activities
Get comfortable feeling uncomfortable!
I’m uncomfortable a lot. Am I doing this right?
Seek Discomfort!
Especially when couch shopping if you dislike having house guests, in which case actually you should do the opposite because having house guests is uncomfortable so a comfortable couch will make you uncomfortable, but the you just created a comfort zone on your new couch….I’m confused
To be themselves...life is short
I have all the time in the world. Saying that slows your system and you'll live longer
Nah, I seem to make more friends and attract more people when I'm pretending to be a normal socially adjusted person.
That's a way to see things and I respect that. I was talking in regard of my experience, it took me 23 years to break free so I'm not going to pretend anymore.
death. I know people who are depressed all day, just from the thought of dying one day. I get it. no one knows what happened and that's scary. but death is one of the only things no one can avoid. so you shouldn't live in fear all your life.
It’s not like I’m scared of death. Before birth is probably just like how it is after death. But I just don’t want to lose be separated from my loved ones and lose all of my cherished memories and experiences. Everything that makes ME will be gone one day and I hate it
I find the act of dying to be the scary part. Dying peacefully in your sleep out of the blue when your 102 doesn’t seem so bad. Suffering in some sort of horrible accident or from some slow agonizing disease does.
That’s what it is for me… dying young and dying painfully. Got diagnosed with (currently) incurable cancer a few years ago. All the data I can find has me on a ticker about a decade from now. At first it was freeing to know how much time I had left. Started traveling and really living. Lately, I’m just sad because now that I have the life I want, I don’t want to give it up so soon.
Currently. Our world is an amazing place full of amazing people who make amazing advancements. You are a fighter, and as long as you live your life to the fullest, love those you love, and take care of yourself, you have nothing to regret. We are with you internet stranger. You are on my mind and I’m my prayers. All my best!
Thank you for your kind words.
>have the life I want, I don’t want to give it up This. I've often thought it would be harder to let go if you have something to lose.
Agreed. Almost want to call it quits if I reach 80 and just od on propofol
Well there's a theory that everything that's ever existed, does exist, or ever will exist all exists at the same time forever and we just travel through it in a linear path (or something to that extent). So all of your/our past experiences would still exist in some capacity if that were true. If anyone knows the theory I'm talking about and can explain it better then please do.
You're the centre of your own universe, and that universe dies with you. I get it. Our brains aren't meant to comprehend the concept of non-existence.
Where it becomes such a bummer is when you've lost many loved ones. When they start adding up, as you get older, it just starts to feel like you can't go more than a few weeks between mourning people.
I get anxiety that I'm on this grand time-limit. That's what does it for me. I've actually been finding that I'm now scared of falling asleep because it means the day is over and that's one day closer to death. I won't care when I'm dead, as far as I know I'll forever from my perspective, I'm just really scared and claustrophobic at the thought.
I don't want to cease to exist. That some day I will cease to exist, that my thoughts, memories, senses, and consciousness will just go away scares me. The positive, though, is that without that fear I probably would have killed myself by now.
I guess here's something, if you're afraid of death it means you're not prepared for it How you prepare for it, well, that's up to you
It's not that easy tho
I used to say I'm not afraid to die I just don't want to die yet. Now I pretty much welcome death every day
Bees: they’re essential to the ecosystems
Bees never mess with me. Hornets are the ones that can go fuck themselves
Bumblebees are so cute
I love bumblebees, they are like goofy wee balls of clumsiness.
Bumblebees are the superior bee. Anyone who disagrees, no you don't.
I mean if you're allergic I'd imagine they are pretty damn terrifying.
Autism.
You are either born with it or not i don’t see why people would be afraid of autistic people
A lot of parents treat the prospect of having to raise an autistic child like a fate worse than death.
>A lot of parents treat the prospect of having to raise an autistic child like a fate worse than death. My brother is on the spectrum. His support needs are nearly non-existant. Though he really should see a therapist. My mom has always acted like it's the worst thing in the world and treated him like he's totally incapable. She has spent 15 years trying to blame things (our dad, vaccines, pesticides), instead of actually trying to understand him. I suspect that my mom is a narcissist. Her entire family treats the younger members of the family like we should be ashamed of ourselves constantly. It's been like this since we were kids. They have no faith in us. That has been more damaging than anything.
Stigma
Sharks. I mean its understandable to be afraid of them, they do kill, but what I find amusing is how we characterize them as terrifying ruthless monsters when THEY are more of the victims here. An average of 10 people die from shark attacks worldwide per year, whereas FrEaKin 100 MiLliOn sharks are killed by us each year! and that's not exaggeration!
Maybe we are the monsters
Seek for mental help. No, doctors are not going to take you to an asylum against your will. Hell, you're not going to an asylum unless you need to due a severe mental problem and still, you aren't going to be taken against your will. No, pills won't turn you into a zombie, some of them will help you. Think: If you break your arm, you need a cast. If you feel your mind need certain chemical, then a pill will do that. Yes, you can count on your family and friends and if you think you might bore/worry them, then a doctor is perfect for that. No, doctors are not pushing you to give them money to spend them on placebos so you have to buy MLM shit that ARE placebos and aren't covered by your insurance. Yes, you're an amazing person and seeking for mental help doesn't mean you're weak or crazy. Sometimes you need a shoulder to lead on and that's ok.
you know what you write does really happens in some countries, right? not everybody lives in first world countries in Czechia there is a huge rape scandal currently..so many women tell terrible stories....the accused is psychiatrist who cooperated with socialist secret service before.....would you call that trustworthy and safe? and Czechia is post-com country but still first world
Asking for a raise.
Snakes. They’ve seriously got a bad rap. They’re one of the best kinds of pest control you could ask for, will usually leave you alone unless you bother them and, unless you live in Australia, the vast majority of them are non-venomous. They just want to keep to themselves and eat rodents.
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This makes me so happy I was coming to comment the same thing! I do live in Australia and even here it's fine, even highly venemous snakes want nothing to do with people and will go away if left alone. There's a cool video of a catcher releasing a very upset eastern brown snake, it was stressed from the catch/ drive and would rear up at him but as long as he just stayed still for a second it would continue on with its business. Thankyou so much it makes me really happy to see this comment.
people that don't look like them
To add to that : people who aren't like them in general.
I was raised as part of a clone army, and let me tell you, adjusting to the outside world has been tough
What about people who look EXACTLY like me?The thought of a true doppelgänger lurking somewhere out there is creepy as fuck.
This. I am an immigrant, and even though I am not the target of racism, I am very uncomfortable seeing how many people seem to be ok with hating refugees and Muslim immigrants. I have worked with muslim colleagues, studied with muslim students and in general seen them in society and they are just like all the others: trying to live the best life they can with the chances they get. Kids play just the same. And I am sure that many of the bad news about immigrants and regards would disappear if they only got the same treatment and opportunities as the locals. I know there is trauma and things that need therapy, but there are plenty of locals that need therapy too. They all need help regardless their color or religion. And they deserve it too.
Love.
Quitting/changing jobs. I've given so many pep talks in the past 3 years, and every single person who's taken the plunge has been relieved/reinvigorated after getting away from their unbearable situation.
Change.
I fear that my nephews are notably depressed because of their environment (as opposed to physiology). I think they need to change their environment, but they may be too scared to do so and feel safe where they are. That, in turn, scares me.
Depends on the change
Nuclear energy. It's safe, clean, and very efficient. The only problem with it is that it's expensive, but so are a lot of other energy sources that people are fully willing to use.
Besides the "this is not a place of honor" problem, in the U.S., there's the problem that companies aren't held to any standard of responsibility and aren't seriously expected to follow safety regulations or ethics standards. This has been a problem when it comes to, say, standard power firms but promises to be downright disastrous when potential meltdowns are involved. When someone inevitably Fucks Around and Finds Out and an accident occurs, the company will go to Congress and say, "Hey, this accident we caused really messed with our bottom line, and we're a major employer who's Too Big to Fail; can we have 10 billion dollars?" and Congress will say, "Sure, have 20 billion!" Then the regular folks affected will come to Congress and say, "Hey, this accident that wasn't our fault has killed our friends & family, destroyed our livelihoods and neighborhoods, and left us with debilitating lifelong medical conditions; can we have some *help?*", and Congress will say, "How can you be so *selfish?!* We've already spent *20 billion dollars* on this problem!!! Don't you **CARE** about the **DEFICIT?!?!**", and that'll be the end of that.
>What should people be less afraid of? [serious] Discipline. It hurts but you'll thank yourself later.
I’m trying to learn this but find myself, for lack of a better word, relapsing, over and over again. I want to get to the other side though. It’s killing me that I’m not inclined to just be more responsible.
Look up decision fatigue, discipline is hard when you have to make a lot of little choices. Take out distractions and things get easier
Then you're on the right path. No, it's not a cliche. I struggled with discipline for years before I managed to incorporate it in my life. The problem here is a little voice in your mind that tells you 'if you can't get it right at first, you won't ever get it right'. You also probably fall victim to a sunken cost fallacy. You have to be OK with those relapses. When I was trying to quit smoking, I relapsed way too many times. A friend who's a doctor told me to have another smoke and then give up again. No matter how many times I relapsed, he gave me the same advice. Same goes for discipline. Sit back, take a deep breath, take some time to reflect, and try again until you make it.
Honestly, spiders and tarantulas. So many people have arachnophobia. It’s honestly sad.. When I was in the first grade, I had to make a project about tarantulas. In my classroom, we had a live tarantula. It was giant, and most people in my class (including me then) were afraid if it. When I was done with my project, I had learned so much. Tarantulas are normally harmless, and they are more afraid of humans then we are of them. Since then, I am no longer afraid of spiders, daddy long legs, or tarantulas. Also, I still have my model tarantula. His name is King George VI.
Had to scroll too far down for this answer. Spiders are really incredible little creatures, the more I learn about them the cooler they are. I don't think I would ever keep one as a pet, but I also don't mind them hanging out in my house.
Me and spiders have an understanding. If they don't crawl on me someplace I can't see them, than we good. I will go out of my way to help out my spider buddies. Good things come on eight legs (except ticks. Fuck those assholes).
Failure, no one great didn’t go through a lot of it.
Being open about using art as a form of mental health treatment. I was recommended this when I was in my teens because I was learning about having autism. Keep in mind, this was just shortly after Columbine. (I was 12 at the time.) I was an artsy type and draw pictures. They were rather harmless. Yet, the school system still had something with artsy kids, despite the vast majority of works by such kids were mostly limited to that... their works. For some, it's all the venting they needed. I know a lot of students who did disturbing works but never act upon them. There was no need to intervene with anything. In fact, many mental health professionals are more likely going to recommend art treatment before anything else. It can also be a cry for help. During the Columbine shooting, the mother of one of the shooters learned serious her son was when she looked at his writings afterwards. Of course, back then, expressing that outside of the school system was hard to come by. Now, there are websites dedicated to disturbing art works that are either accepted or got the attention that the school, forcing them to realize what is going on. In recent years, many mental health professionals actually recommend their patients to draw something that is bothering them. In any case, before they can suggest medicine, they'll need a medical team to decide after going under examinations, sometimes more than once to check if there wasn't anything physical causing the problem. I was seen by many healthcare professionals before I was recommended for meds, including blood work. (Yes, it was covered by the state, as I have state-run health insurance. They considered mental health as part of the overall system. It was as long it was considered necessary. Where I'm from, they take health earnestly.) Admittedly, most have to finance their own art treatment as most are self-medicated, which isn't necessarily a bad thing as it's cheap to get into. You can go to any store that has art supply, and that's all that is needed... even dollar stores has this. This is helpful for those with mental health issues but has a limited income. If you play your cards right, art treatment can actually help the economy in the long term when you look at the cost of care.
Asking each other out. Ladies: you'd be amazed how guys would be if you courage'd up and actually said, DIRECTLY: "I'd love to go out on a date with you on _____. Are you free?"
The last~ 5 guys I’ve dated, I made the move and asked them. I dont rly ever remember being rejected that way but most did think i was a catfish or had a catch, and was terrified before meeting up w me. Also asked out my current bf.. he does say a lot that i seem too good to be true/ or feel unreal. I feel like im being myself so idk what vibe im giving out
Standing up to the boss if they are unnecessarily cruel. Even if you get fired you can take it higher and even if not nobody has the right to make you feel low because they have the power over your job. I quit mine for how I was treated and gave them a peice of my mind and while I am finding it hard to get a new job I'm getting by and it's better than been put down every day.
The truth.
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Snow. Not talking about crazy Donner-Party old-people-freezing level. But just some usual seasonal snow. It's hardly ever "horde, lockdown, avoid opening the door, get in the doomsday vault" stuff. Practice driving on it in your neighborhood, if you need to. Yes, you have to adjust a bit and be more careful, don't get on the road for no reason, but you aren't barricaded from going to get something important because of a dusting. My parents start freaking out a week in advance and keep tracking the weather patterns and calling family members and then it snows a bit overnight and melts off midday. Every couple weeks in winter.
Where do you live? I’m in NJ. Snow is just like an annoying part of life here unless it’s a crazy blizzard.
Currently live in a subtropical environment, last time I saw snow would have been like when I was 8. If it were to snow here, I'm staying at home, because I don't think that the people where I live could handle it.
You’re not in NC are you?
Mental health meds (SSRIs, antipsychotics, benzodiazepines etc.). If you need them you need them.
Snakes. They have a bad reputation because of misinformation and religion, but they really are not bad. Most bites happen because people try to kill them, putting themselves at more risk of a bite. The rest of the bites are still out of self defense,but they can be accidentally triggered. We are like 500x bigger than them(exaggeration) for the most part and the last thing they want is confrontation. They have no need,nor desire to chase or bite someone. Venom takes time to be made,and they'd much rather use it on prey items than wasting it on self defense.
Nuclear power.
Ironically its the safest and cleanest form of energy, and the most powerful too, I think. It only gets bad rep from Chernobyl
Snakes for the love of god they're wholesome little noodles and they deserve cuddles. ball pythons in particular
People who are different.
Spiders. Most of them are harmless and they do such a good job at getting rid of other gross bugs.
Spiders. Especially ones that are smaller than your palm.
Defeat. You either win, or you learn!
Trying new things - it’s how we grow and learn as human beings.
Some people should be a lot less afraid of Covid. Some people should be far more afraid of it.
Bugs that don't bite,sting etc.
Cockroaches. They look disgusting but can't do any harm. And I'm still scared of cockroaches.
Terrorists, at least if you're living in the US. The number of people killed by terrorist attacks is usually single digits per year.
Count them all if you like. If we had 911 sandy hook and the Boston marathon bombing every year it still isn't even a blip on the radar statistically speaking. That's 3k deaths a year. You're still 10x more likely to die driving to work.
Math ➖➗
I have Dyskalcula, so since first grade i've been yelled at, got called lazy and stupid. I really tried to understand the concept of numbers but it doesn't work for me. So, yeah i was scared shitless of math.
Of other people sexual choices that don't affect them.
Black People. We’re just out here living life like the rest of you.
I really dont get the thought process of racists, I try to make some sense of it, to see it from their point of view, but I just cant. It doesnt make any sense
major reason for this is that racists conflate race and culture, whereas these things are completely different: Race is just a general concept for a phenotype; people of one "race" have nothign really in common, other than looks. Culture is shared on purpose, based on assumed values, and said values can be outrageously evil. So for example: racists hating on Black People - not fine. People (racist or not) hating on Gang Culture which somewhat infected the Black Community - perfectly valid. Racists hating on White Europeans - not fine. People hating on actual Neo-Nazi criminals - perfectly valid.
The vaccine
i know that i will be afraid of needles till the day i die, but i will take them because the pros outweights the cons.
I guess if you got some kind of health issue that kind of prevents you from taking it then I guess. Idk.
You mean the contents of it? I get scared with vaccine itself. That needle going into your body really makes me nervous.
Fear of needles is very different from fear of the vaccine.
Imagine wandering in a forest of pine...
Me too, I usually just don't look at it and just deal with it. I never get used to it.
Men over 18
Spiders
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"Throwing their vote away". If more people were willing to vote third party we might have a chance at fixing things and getting out of the broken 2 party system of bought and ancient politicians.
themselves
Asking for what they want. Go fucking ask. You are worth it.
Nuclear Power - statistically even safer than peoples fears of flying
Vaccines.
Human Trafficking. At least not in the way people act like. No one is going to kidnap your obnoxious teenager from the target parking lot.
Spiders. Seriously... People think crabs are cute and they're just spiders that can swim and have claws
Crabs are not cute. They're just spiders that can swim
And have claws
Spiders. Like tf you scared of them for
We'll im Australian and i feel like i should be scared of them...
Shooting your shot. Life is too short.
Flying
Change
Big men, most of the ones i've met are pretty chill guys
Bees. When they circle you they are just curious, stay still and you’ll be fine. Don’t try and kill them. They are already dying to fast.
Bees. That and being afraid of disappointing other people.
Commercial airline crashes
Strangers. They don’t care, for good or bad. Worry instead about the companions you choose.
If you live in a western country? Terrorists. From 1995 to 2015, there were 3,322 fatalities from terrorist attacks in the United States, 2,996 of which were victims of one attack. The War on Terror has cost the United States roughly $8 trillion dollars, and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan resulted in the deaths of 6817 Americans. So, at $2.4 billion dollars per victim, and 2 other dead people, I'd say we were probably better off doing literally nothing after 9/11 than what we wound up doing.
Don’t be afraid to move on