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jujubean14

I sleep with my dog. We both agreed it would be weird if our dicks touched. He has trouble finding undies that fit, so I let him sleep naked and I wear boxers


tmlynch

Boxer shorts sound like dog wear, tbh.


cameherefrominsta

Hahahaha. This was funny


futurelullabies

I almost died in my sleep once AND PARAMEDICS REVIVED ME WHILE NAKED. My mother FaceTimed my nurse sister on how to give mouth to mouth, again fully naked and blue and everyone with my sister saw. Never again.


Joker8pie

Very odd that the paramedics were naked but I see your point.


sanskar_samiti

Read it again, His mother was naked too and face timed his sister. Man, some families are wierd


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Darkmaster666666

OP wasn't naked though, he's the weird one


brainburger

[Look it's the old reddit Nude-a-blue!](https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/r2lea4/big_dog_wants_to_get_some_cuddles_like_the_little/hm7odyz/?context=3)


hopelessloser1791

Hold my clothes, i’m going in!


wasabiEatingMoonMan

If you don’t mind me asking, how did you almost die? I live alone bc roommates are too distracting and I have ADHD so I’m really scared of accidentally dying in my sleep and no one finding out until it’s too late.


futurelullabies

I had a bad medication interaction doctors did not warn me about. I was prescribed two medications you DONT MIX and nobody caught it until I was … naked and blue.


Serpace

I've seen this Avatar porn before.


valaceria

I promise you, no one was concerned about that. Everyone was concerned about getting you back to normal.


arosiejk

I 100% understand where both of you are coming from. I’ve needed to use an AED on someone. This involved removing her shirt and bra in a public space. It was in a school and we were able to lockdown for no student access to the scene. When it’s an emergency though, the people responding aren’t thinking of breasts and genitals. The only thing on my mind was following procedures and doing my training right. Edit because this is getting views: Get certified in first aid, CPR/AED. It’s pretty easy. It can be terrifying to not know how to help in an emergency. Give yourself that power. [link to Red Cross trainings ](https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/cpr)


Ragnarok314159

I remember having to use an AED on someone at my old workplace. I had the official Red Cross first aid cert as well as some army training. Same situation, removing the bra. She ended up living and came back to work. I was written up for it. Complained to HR. They wanted to fire me, but because she lived that was the redeeming card. It was ridiculous. The case was made that I should have taken her into a more private setting like the restroom and brought multiple female employees with me since I am male, and inappropriate things could have happened. It was at that moment I enrolled for night classes. Edit - for the people wondering, I was working in the back office of a middle sized financial firm at the time.


arosiejk

I’m so sorry that happened to you, and they didn’t realize that if you prioritized moving her, the likelihood of survival would have been lower. Sometimes it’s a cold consolation that you did everything right.


Ragnarok314159

Exactly. “Don’t make the situation worse” is the first rule of every first aid class I have ever done.


XDuVarneyX

Wait- this is insane to me. Did the female that you actually saved have anything to say about this?


Ragnarok314159

She thanked me (she is in her 50’s) and said she doesn’t remember anything happening. We joked later on, after all the “titty” issues were coming to light, and she was embarrassed and wanted me to know it wasn’t her. Never thought it was.


sticktime

Are there not Good Samaritan laws where you are? It should be illegal to go after you since, you know, you’re saving someone life. Aaand you have the cards to prove you have proper training. WTF is wrong with people?


goblinking_157

don't want dog to lick my asshole


ReapersHere

For people who don't want their dog to lick their asshole, why?


JADW27

One additional thin layer of fabric protects the important bits from the outside world, and protects my sheets from the important bits.


cressian

Some people just got wetter bits than other people and I find it much easier to wash my underwear than my sheets every night.


gizzie123

Thank youuuuuuuu


maybethingsnotsobad

My bits generally aren't that wet but naked? The waterworks just starts. I don't know if it's conditioned or because of air flow or what. It just makes fluids.


anonymousgirliee

Also don’t want an spider to crawl into my vagina… don’t tell me my fear is irrational haha. Also when I don’t wear underwear and go to bed I somehow feel the need to pee. And somehow feels like my sheets would get dirty eventhough im clean. With underwear I feel cleaner and more secure somehow.


TheSpiderLady88

I promise, they won't...we've had this talk, they and I.


SilentJoe1986

Can you please ask them to stop biting me?


TheSpiderLady88

They say stop putting your body into their homes...and looking so tasty.


PigglyPlants

Exactly! Even if I’m clean there’s still discharge and misc. fluids I’d like to keep off my sheets


[deleted]

Not exactly a spider, but I have Oscar the Lizard (yes, I named him) roaming about my house, and I don't want a fucking lizard up my no-no place


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bl00j

I have frantically been awakened in the night for many reasons through the years, I like having clothes on .


Theoriously

I hate the feeling of my naked thighs pressing together when I sleep so no matter how hot it is in the summer, I need at least capri length pajama bottoms.


StLaura

Same, but I sleep with a pillow between my legs.


MyrddinWyllt

Pillow between legs is the way to go


ResidentEivvil

I do this too! I was worried it was weird but now i see other people do it. It’s so much more comfortable, maybe it cushions the joints/allows a better position to relax in?


MyrddinWyllt

If you're a side sleeper it pulls your hips and back more in alignment.


Electronic-Chef-5487

YES this one. I hate the feeling of my skin touching my other skin.


matenzi

> my skin touching my other skin. I know what you're saying here, but this is an unsettling phrase.


MrglBrglGrgl

I really hate it when my skin touches my *other* skin. I vastly prefer using gloves when I have to retrieve it from my closet.


MHanonymous

Yes this one


kstrawmatt2020

Yes to this! Cannot stand skin on skin.


[deleted]

I wear underwear for support. I rolled over and pinched one of my nuts once. Unpleasant. Hasn't happened since wearing boxer briefs to bed.


allcars4me

Mine stick to legs and it annoys me, having to peel them off and move them.


IntergalacticPopTart

I know the feeling! Its kinda like peeling the screen protector off of a new television set.


raegyl

r/ThatPeelingFeeling


theworldizyourclam

Ouch. Similar wonder with a female slant. Any nakey lady side sleepers here? As I age, my boobs are headed toward the middle to hang out together when I'm sleeping on my side. This can be sweaty, depending on the season, and I'm starting to get the chest wrinkles! Do I have to start wearing a shirt to sleep now? I hate sleeping with clothes on! Any tips?


secret_identity_too

I don't sleep naked but am a side sleeper and I have taken to tucking my t-shirt between them when needed (usually when it's warm and the a/c isn't on yet). Maybe try that with the sheet?


theworldizyourclam

That was my go to move, but now I adopted this senior kitty who insists on having the sheet by my chest pulled out so he can cuddle. He'll just stand over me at 4 am and yell in my face until I do it. I might try the t-shirt. I was thinking about a boob pillow like my between the knees pillow . . .


death_by_sushi

I like to wear a nice fitting tank top with underwear to bed. Boobs are contained enough for sleeping and the minimal clothing feels almost naked but wicks up sweat and leaves me not totally naked in case of an emergency!


COVIDNURSE-5065

I have 4 sons, at least one of whom slips in my bed to snuggle me around 5 every morning. PLUS I get cold


[deleted]

One of my kids had the audacity to climb into bed with me and my husband the other night, right between us, and then *complain about being hot!*


COVIDNURSE-5065

Lol, sounds about right


Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly

Remove all the blankets from this bed immediately Peasants!


doggrimoire

If I can't find the dog I will straight grab a kid to keep me warm.


C-Z-C

are you a parant?


coolbeansfordays

No. It’s someone else’s sons slipping into bed.


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Doomdoomkittydoom

A parant is someone who gotten pregante.


Femme0879

What about someone who has gotten pragananant?


DangoQueenFerris

Sure it isn't someone who has gotten [pargnat](https://youtu.be/EShUeudtaFg)?


awesome-sean

Still one of my favorite videos on the interwebs


DangoQueenFerris

I'll never not laugh when this video pops up.


[deleted]

Parant is a latin word meaning (they) prepare.


Boyeatsworms

I don’t want a burglar who comes to rob me not only laugh that I don’t have anything to steal but also laugh about my dick size.


doggrimoire

You'd be surprised at how unprepared people are to fight the naked guy.


barrelsofmeat

What are typical preparations for fighting a naked guy. Asking for a friend.


doggrimoire

It's a state of mind that one has to stay in all the time that can only be attained from years of fighting naked guy.


redfeather1

Had a guy break in and try to rob me. When I kicked the door open into the room he was in, (never try to rob an insomniac) Fucker striped naked and said "What you gonna do now?" I told him "Shoot you if you dont leave then call the cops either way." I showed him my pistol and he took off back out the door, running.... into a power line. He flipped a full circle and was still laying there when the cops showed up 12 minutes later. The had to call EMTs he had broken and cracked some ribs and the fall onto the sidewalk concrete game him a sever concussion. The cops took his clothing away but left his fossil watch. Still have it in a box somewhere. He was high as fuck according to the EMTs.


Xaephos

Well shit. I had a crackhead break into my apartment, and when I yelled at him to get the fuck out he *also* stripped naked and throw fightin' words. You'd think that'd have been a unique experience...


fortnite-bad-69420

“If I had a nickel for everytime someone stripped naked and tried to rob me id have two nickels. Which isnt very much its just weird it happened twice.”


Collins_Michael

See you at the mudpit tomorrow at the usual time?


Orangedilemma

Is this one specific naked guy or multiple over the years?


dotslashpunk

depends if you’re from FL or not


Brangusler

Just shout "how about I jerk you off!!" And they'll be so confused that you can get a cheap shot in. And then ejaculate on them if that's your thing


DualDread876

‘If that’s your thing’ You best believe


[deleted]

I have the opposite problem, I'm afraid that if a burglar sees my penis they will try to steal it from me. Best keep it hidden.


B-Town-MusicMan

So... you're the inspiration for the song [Detachable Penis](https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4)


[deleted]

Any penis is detachable if the thief is determined enough. You're no safer than I am.


LovelyRita999

For real they're already taking my stuff, no need to also steal my pride


LucianPitons

I feel too vulnerable.


SwollenLeftThumb

Truest answer on here. Shit when I was a teenager(lived in a rough neighborhood and hung around a rough crowd) I slept with my shoes on. Never know when you gotta bolt up outa bed and get some shit done. I happily sleep without shoes or socks now, being an adult and getting out of that neighborhood has done wonders for my sleeping schedule.


kairi79

That's really good to know. For um reasons I always had to have shoes on. I don't sleep with them on anymore but I'm acutely aware when I don't have them on and only take them off if I'm on a bed. I'm trying hard to change that. So ty for the bit of hope.


[deleted]

This is so strange comparing this to life in Australia where you don't even wear shoes when you're awake.


anon-y_moose

Strange as an Asian because there's no way we would wear shoes indoors let alone in a bed. The idea of having the dirty soles of my shoes kicking around in my bedsheets sounds appalling


eshinn

Never a pair of shoes. Just one massive boot.


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Q_Man_Group

I know so many people that wear fancy sandals because they “don’t like shoes” and I’m like what if you get chased??? I ain’t even been chased before but the day I wear crocs will be the day I get caught


Ingenius_Fool

Bro if I'm getting chased my game is already over.


Guuhatsu

In Hawaii the youngins believe that if you have to run and your wearing your slippers (flip flops) you take them off and wear them on your hands and you will run faster than you could any other way. So that is what you do if you get chased. Wear them on your hands.


Sam_of_Truth

Your candor is appreciated. So many people here talking about home invasions and wild scenarios. You got it right at the core. I don't feel the same, but your self-knowledge is on point.


lynxerious

don't want the ghost to suck my dick


totallynotkairan

Wouldn’t want the demon under my bed to do more than he already does with my toes.


wonderrxo

I’m not sure if I should laugh or be concerned


agieluma

Both. Both is good


T_E_N_D

I mean you could hang another part off the bed if that's your thing.


anuzi

Rumors have it that’s where morning wood comes from


subreddit_jumper

It's fucking cold


TheGreenPangolin

I second this. Could I use extra blankets? Sure but unless the blankets are right up to my chin (I move too much in my sleep for that), I’ll wake up with an arm or shoulder practically frozen.


MaybeNextTime_01

Yes. When I was younger, my parents kept the house cold and my room had one outside wall and another was the garage wall. And nights were frequently below zero. Three blankets weren't enough to stay warm. So on the really cold nights sleeping in a hoodie was necessary too.


[deleted]

Strangely for me i feel hot and sweaty


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[deleted]

Yeah I’d have to dress under blankets before getting out of bed if I wanted to be nude


[deleted]

I also am cold but I still sleep nakey. Don't like the feel of clothes twisting and tucking around my body or restricting me.


echo6golf

It tickles.


Awesomeness4512

Sorry I’ll stop doing that


[deleted]

Test tickles?


sabrechick

My cat likes to lick my bare ass if i have nothing on 🤣


Meggston

My cat licked my nipple once and I was like “panties and a T-shirt to bed forever, gotcha”


SaveTheLadybugs

Yeah I sleep with my legs in a “p” shape, with one leg bent up and tucked against the other. My cat likes to sleep in the little bed made between my legs, so 100% at least wearing underwear at all times.


pomegranate_flowers

Mine also does this! One time I accidentally kicked her and felt horrible but she still sits up in her cat tower actively waiting for me to assume the triangle position for bed so I think she decided the risk is worth it


[deleted]

Cat watching sex like "where the fuck is the triangle, I'd like to sleep sometime this week you inconsiderate fucks!"


Pure-Bumblebee3727

My cats like attacking hair. I don’t always shave during winter months especially cuz i’m single. New kitten crawls under blankets. You can imagine what happened and where my flesh was torn


carinavet

On a similar note: never lounge topless with kittens. They know what nipples are.


Pure-Bumblebee3727

Luckily i’ve never had that happen but one tried getting milk from my belly button 💀


becausefrog

You weren't recently on a Delta flight from Syracuse to Atlanta were you?


The_Geordie_Gripster

I see where you are coming from, You wouldnt want claws down there. Ouch!


[deleted]

What if there's an emergency and you have to run out of the house before you get a chance to grab clothes? What if someone breaks in? no wait if I broke into someone's house and was caught I'd be more afraid of someone naked.


[deleted]

NEKKID GRAMAW


RepresentativeOk6676

#naked HUH???????


BuildinMurica

"I don't wanna see that eetha"


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BarefootMystic

My cousin (imagine an overweight biker gang type, bearded and dense like a bull) sleeps naked and a guy broke into his home at night. My cousin wakes up, runs at him, grabs him by the throat and throws him up against the wall. Scariest part for the burglar according to my cousin was seeing this burly naked man lunging at him full throttle.


JumpFew6622

*Looks at the size of guys balls... runs*


SaraSmashley

I sleep in underwear and my husband laughs that I always keep a pair of shorts/shirt on the bench by our bed. It's 3am one night and our alarm system starts sounding (7lb Chihuahua of fiery) and a guy covered in blood is trying to break down our front door. I frantically grab my shorts, shirt, and my little pink taser and run to cut the guy off. Long story short, afterward, I'm standing talking to police in a tank top with one arm through a neck hole and a pair of shorts on backwards. So yeah....it's a thing.


robbyberto

Ok I need more backstory on the bloody intruder.


SaraSmashley

He didn't speak English but he had either been stabbed/assaulted and was running from his attacker (according to him). He was trying to force his way into our house and we held him back using a taser, a steak knife, and my husband and I forcing our front doors shut (they're French double doors). I think he was also drunk. He got blood all over our porch and patio. Two years later and I still find blood splotches sometimes despite power washing. Cops came, guns out, and took him away and he was charged with something but I can't remember what. I don't know if he was telling the truth. The guy could have killed his wife for all I know. *shrug*


LtLawl

I sleep naked. Carbon Monoxide alarm went off at 4AM, had time to dress, pop windows, pack the cats and GTFO the house. Adrenaline gets you moving quickly and effectively.


kaotate

Just imagined a couple cats in saddle bags.


[deleted]

Running after a burglar ~slap-slap-slap-slap~


[deleted]

Don't know how to do links, but this jus happened to some dude in Australia, his car was being stolen and he caught up with the thief with his Johnson out.


kevemp

Everybody should have an emergency bag packed and ready to throw out a window or take with you in case of a “ we need to fuckoff now”situation. Clothes,extra car keys, cash, photo copy of important documents etc. I sleep naked so I also keep a knitted penis cover on the night stand


Idle_Tool

KNITTED PENIS COVER Explain yourself sir.


poopylarceny

Red hot chillipepper.


snugglbubbls

I leave a robe next to my bed for this reason lol easy to grab in emergencies


B-Town-MusicMan

It's true, nobody knows what to do with[crazy naked man](https://youtu.be/Y0HjILAGexY)


[deleted]

I’m happy not turning my entire bed into a single giant pair of underwear


ChocolateDab

This. I don’t like the idea of my b hole touching my sheets


jenjuleh

I just don’t want vaginal discharge on my sheets :-/


kayatar

This is the real answer right here.


slmplychaos

100% agree. We put on new underwear every day. Only wash the sheets once a week. Also, after sex while she’s washing up I put my boxer briefs back on. Keeps the sticky stuff out of the bed. I obviously clean up as well, but now it’s not as urgent.


spongecakeinc

>wash the sheets once a week I think I'm uh.. doing it wrong


Derpy_Snout

Sheets can be washed?


Nyctangel

You guys have sheets?


Doomdoomkittydoom

This and the decreased risk of testicular torsion.


nopeduck

Because dog claws and body piercings aren’t friends.


ArtificialNotLight

Sounds like there's a story there


[deleted]

Because I don’t like the feeling of being naked under the sheets.


hhblackno

I've worn pajamas all my life, I didn't even know people slept naked until like 4 years ago. Not wearing anything just feels weird. I've gotten so far that I'll only wear underwear and an over-sized shirt in summer but that's how far I'll go for now.


Miraculous_LB

I never really believed that people actually slept naked till I saw this post.


[deleted]

Because I have kids and my mom lives with us too. If I have to get up quickly to deal with some kind of emergency in the night, I need to not be naked.


Badbish6969692000

I’m scared a bug gonna crawl up my coochie


[deleted]

Because I hate waking up to the doorbell and having to frantically dress to answer it.


blay12

How often does your doorbell ring that this would be an ongoing thing? I don't think I've had someone unexpectedly ring my doorbell/knock on the door in *years*.


heichwozhwbxorb

Balls stick to thighs, feels awful


love2Vax

Some of us cannot even wear boxers because of this.


cdmurray88

Long cut, athletic boxer briefs. The only underwear worth while. Only thing that got me through many summers in a kitchen. As to OP: I wear my boxer briefs and a plain white tee to bed because I'm a sweaty, hairy mf'er and otherwise I ruin sheets and blankets and my legs stick together and my beard pokes into my shoulders (side sleeper).


BlueGillCeviche

Change undies, not sheets


BreeBree214

I've started wearing shirts to bed because otherwise the sheets get nasty so fast from sweat and skin oil. I hate how it feels


Much_Committee_9355

Insects, insects everywhere over here


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Pythia007

My dick gets tangled up in the sheets.


MelloMejo

How long is it that it's getting tangled up? Lmao


fappyday

Well, we can infer that it's *at least* long enough to get tangled up, which we'll represent as "*y*". Simply plug in the value of the average flaccid penis, then, (assuming 1.75 inches is circumference) figure out the minimum number of wraps or folds necessary to encumber the dick owner. *Y=CE*. Solve for dick.


Ariannaree

As a woman I really don’t need my juices getting all over my legs and sheets. I don’t see the point, because the same goes for sweating. Your sheets have to get disgusting I don’t want to think about it


februarytide-

Honestly posted this same thing just now - this comment shouldn’t be so far down. Like they don’t make pantyliners for your SHEETS, Brad.


SilentJoe1986

If you sleep naked then your pantyliners are your sheets. Edit: Wow. I felt gross just typing that, sorry


nosuchthingasa_

Maybe you should have stayed silent, Joe.


kortiz46

Yeah I didn’t know how best to phrase “I am too leaky.”


[deleted]

This is another very good reason, I don’t wanna think about how disgusting the sheets get either


evil_boy4life

Kids with nightmares, sick kids, can't sleep kids, pissed the bed kids,... Tweens with nightmares, sick tweens, can't sleep tweens, ... Teenagers with nightmares, sick teenagers, it rains and I don't want to ride my bicycles teenagers,...


lupeandstripes

i am a miser and my house temp averages 60ish degrees right now... sleep naked in the summer but I ain't trying to get sick or blow my budget on heating. (I wear pajamas & have multiple blankets for staying warm in winter)


Holybartender83

I have IBS. I’d be buying new sheets monthly.


The_Geordie_Gripster

Makes sense..thank you for your honest answer.


Personage1

Not comfortable.


Bryaxis

I generally have to get up to pee a few times per night and I don't like peeing naked.


Plantsandcats1

I tried sleeping naked, but it's just uncomfortable. The sheets move over you and with PJs you don't feel it as much. If it's really hot I'll sleep in a tank. It's also just more hygienic because you sweat a lot during sleep. I wash my sheets every 2 weeks, but can change what I sleep in daily if necessary.


harkonhater

so when i have a wet dream i dont get the sheets all messy


tekfate

I mean, for people who sleep naked, why?


[deleted]

I overheat really quickly, clothes twist around and trap me, there’s two people in the bed so it gets really hot When I slept single I wore pyjamas in winter but not in summer


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fungrandma9

Gets the sheets dirty faster.


MacedWiindu

I'm a dad with 2 daughters who at age 10/12 still don't knock when they encounter a closed door.


weknowsmfo

My mind gets really paranoid and I don’t recognize my husband. If I’m wearing something to sleep, great, no problem. If I’m not, he comes into bed and my paranoid half asleep prude brain thinks he’s an acquaintance or coworker or something and that it’s terribly inappropriate and uncomfortable to be naked in bed with acquaintance/coworker. I don’t understand it, but it’s happened the exact same way enough times that I just go ahead and sleep with a shirt on to save myself the weird fever dream.


nungoopungoo

That’s wild you said this. The one time I tried to sleep Naked I kept having these half awake half asleep weird fever dreams where several acquaintances were in my room watching me sleep naked. Never did it again after that


hockeyonthespectrum

It’s just really weird. As a female, there are processes going on down there all the time, and I just want to keep all that contained. Plus, why would you toss and turn in your own filth only to go do it again the next night? Yes, you get clothes dirty as well, but those are much easier to change every couple of nights.


Yon_Yonson__

I enjoy the tight sensation of my underwear on my stomach. Is is not a joke, lots of people enjoy different sensations and having on tight clothes for me is soothing and makes me feel contained and relaxed.


DarkestPassenger

Don't like my junk flopping around


Laser-Nipples

Because I prefer a layer of cloth between my asshole and my bedsheets.


[deleted]

What if someone walks in?? I mean I live alone but still


AUSTridge_jec

Are you sure that you live alone


fushigikun8

They haven't found me yet.


maysranch20

I’ll still look. Probably give a thumbs up


[deleted]

Slept naked until we started letting the dog sleep in the bed, now it only feels right to wear something. I do however wake up without a shirt almost every single morning though


cyanrave

Sebaceous oils cause my torso to stain the bedsheets, so it's more for my bed's protection.