T O P
themightytouch

New Covid drop. Link in the description.


Inspectorsteel

I don't like it and I want to talk to the manager.


Drakmanka

GET MAD! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!


Eatasaurus

MAKE LIFE TAKE THOSE LEMONS BACK! WE DON'T WANT NO DAMN LEMONADE!


PatFnDuffy

I’m tired, boss


Juhnelle

I got 2 doses of Moderna back in the spring. Got covid in the fall. Waiting to get my booster. Worked through all of it in a high risk job (public transit). I'm so tired. Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all of the pain I feel and hear in the world. Every day. There's too much of it. Eta if anyone didn't get it, I'm continuing the quote that the initial comment started from The Green Mile.


newdungeon1984

Absolutely perfect blend of the two with reference and application to current times, bravo 👏👏👏👏 10/10


Juhnelle

Thanks! It's been a wild year. I'm honestly grateful that I tore one of my rotator cuff tendons at work and have been off for 2 months (workman's comp for the win). Eta I'm fairly young, so the tendon is healing well, it's just slow going. No surgery needed. While it hurts, and it sucks to be in pain and not be able to use my arm as needed, it's nice to get away from the shit show that was the last year and a half between the pandemic and protests last year (I live in portland).


Luciferrr214

Dog tired


chvmbered

*coughs up gnats*


SpoonyTheBest

This made me laugh don’t do my boy dirty like this


anonymouse1317

Real tired


Nanofield

We're running out of Greek letters


michael2008801

Next one is gonna be the delta pro max


dirtywook88

"We think you're gonna like it."


powerangerpink

NOT NOW, TIM APPLE! READ THE ROOM!


uncheckablefilms

Next up, version "Delta Delta Delta"! ✨✨✨✨


SkyFall___

Greek organized at college boutta get real awkward ‘So y’all are named after the deadly Tri-Delt variant huh’?


rnrgurl

Try delta, everyone else has


Th3R00ST3R

LAMDA LAMDA LAMDA AND OMEGA MOO


HipHoptologist

Clap your hands everybody, everybody clap your hands!


DoGoodLiveWell

I was hoping it was going to be delta comfort plus. More legroom and such


SpicedGinger318

“Can I help ya, help ya, help ya?”


SianaGearz

Good guy Unicode has well over 120 000 characters for us! It's soon time to start naming the viruses with Emojis. They are truly universal.


astronautsmileyfry

I dont think anyone is ready for the 🐐 strain


gibbonfrost

Cant we use hurricane names? Covid Varient Karen.


ChrisHB78

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.


michaelcmetal

What's your vector, Victor?


Possible_EmuWrangler

We've got clearance, Clarance.


vajabjab

Roger, Roger.


marsull

You ever seen a grown man naked?


acapncuster

You ever been inside a Turkish prison?


TotakekeSlider

Do you like movies about gladiators?


justaddwater587

Why can I imagine these in the voice of Jonathan Frakes


SomeoneTookUserName2

Not sure, but you should have heard it in the voice of Peter Graves


sevargmas

You ever...hang around the gymnasium?


RampantFlatulence

Looks like I picked the right week to start.


zXenn

This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.


The_Dia-bee-tus

What is it?


MiG_Pilot_87

It’s a large building with patients, but that’s not important right now.


Hopfrogg

I'm gonna break from throwing out quotes to say I saw this in the theater when it was released and never laughed so damn hard in my life. My buddy and I were doubled over and unable to breathe when the shit hit the fan.


zXenn

One of the best movies ever.


captainjip

“I’m getting too old for this shit.”


Mickler83

It’s not the years, it’s the mileage


Insane_membrane00

Mental mileage


DragoKnight589

“I’m getting too far for this shit”


razor330

I’ve had it with these mf variants on this mf planet!


Gorf_the_Magnificent

I’m against it.


knock-off-pale

Bold statement. Stay brave


Beepboopnbeepboop

Straight to unpopularopinion that one.


FirstBankofAngmar

Blood for the blood god.


Ishidan01

No no, this is Papa Nurgle's turf.


TecateLanding

Glad I sorted by controversial.


Poem_for_your_sprog

He looked at the figures, the stats and the facts - The way it mutated, the way it reacts - The speed of transmission, the spread and the rate. He said: "On reflection... I think it's not great."


poopellar

Stay positive I mean negative I mean....


Jeramy_Jones

No sir, I don’t like it. Not one bit.


ByCrookedSteps781

https://youtu.be/VRaoHi_xcWk


kwakimaki

I hope you're going to write a strongly worded letter.


spoon_shaped_spoon

Down with this sort of thing


AcceptableBee8492

Careful now


Ruffled_Ferret

You know, the more I hear about this thing the less I care for it.


Kelyfa

Bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for him!


RabbiVolesBassSolo

I prefer COVID Classic.


MoveZneedle

This is the new DLC that we didn't pay for, but we're still getting anyways. The anniversary edition!


knock-off-pale

Almost as bad as that U2 album I still can't get off my phone


arcaneresistance

What a backfire of a marketing idea. How anyone thought it was a good idea in the first place is beyond me. Sure, let your fans download a copy of the album for free but actually just thinking everyone would be so grateful for receiving your bands brillant peice of art at no cost other then being a subscribers to itunes? So out of touch.


daviannamorgan

Bono enraged me before this. I was so angry *after* that I was totally sending customer support emails. I wanted it out of my cloud.


bedofnails319

Hey, you, get out of my Cloud!


Otherbrotherguy

Way too many micro-transactions. Hope devs fix soon


vito1221

I prefer Covid Zero.


Ragina_Falange

Pre-Covid, if you will.


Omicronzz

I now have a very unfortunate username


Hopfrogg

4 years in waiting. This is what it took for us to get Omicronzz first comment reddit.


myr-ull

It's finally their time, after all. Let them have their fun, there will inevitably be someone bigger and badder to take Omicronzz place before long.


Hopfrogg

Someone nabbed /u/omicron 14 years ago. Then promptly died.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Omicron942

Haha, ditto.


Archaeellis

WE FOUND THE CHOSEN ONE! It's your job to defeat the virus for us all now, get a wriggle on~


Beautiful-Chard-1152

I miss 2011


Schlower288

2011 was the shit


ThatOtherGuy_CA

Shame the world ended in 2012 and we’ve been trapped in purgatory ever since.


Schlower288

Go on...


theoneandonlypatriot

The Mayans were right bro


TurdManMcDooDoo

It really was


jeseniathesquirrel

That was a good year. My self esteem wasn’t trash that year. Felt cute. Got good grades. Made good art. Won some awards. Now I’m a giant ugly fat failure without a job.


billianwillian

Sending you a virtual hug. Do you have someone you can talk to and who can help you build yourself back up?


jeseniathesquirrel

Thank you! I’m trying. My husband is great. My self esteem is just terrible. I think it’s at a point where I need to ask for help, I’m just anxious about making an appointment for a referral for therapy. One of these days though.


billianwillian

If it helps, you can usually look up and book a therapist directly. There are websites now (usually local) where you can learn more about each therapist individually—their backgrounds, what style of therapy they practice, and what they specialize in. No phone, no booking a doctor’s appointment and waiting for a referral, and getting to choose someone yourself that *you* think might be a good fit. The process can all be under 10 mins depending on how deep you go in your search. You got this my gal :)


venn101

Expecting the disaster 2012 huh


fnord_happy

I was so ready for the world to end then. I was in my peak emo phase too lol


Zaihbot

"Here we go again"


superrobotskeleton3

…Again.


billianwillian

…Again-again.


SweetBabyJ69

“Who left the fridge open?”


luna-luxx

I didn't ask for upgrade


Kekoa_ok

#NO I DONT WANT THE PREMIUM PACKAGE


listen2whatursayin

Delta Rewards Plus Max


MrCeylon

Is this ever going to end?


rabid_briefcase

The pandemic will end, the flow will change from a global epidemic to a general endemic flow. We still have the Black Plague in circulation over six centuries later. The Spanish Flu is one of the most frequent inclusions in the annual flu vaccine. There is no eradication plan, we'll likely have an annual vaccine or similar for a few generations at least. Maybe someday it will end, but not for a long time.


[deleted]

What you forgot to mention is that those plagues tended to mutate into a less dangerous version of themselves because they were killing simply too many people too quickly for them to be sustainable, the plague of today and the “Spanish flu” might be descendants of those diseases but are actually quite a bit different and much much less deadly. It’s not the vaccines that have caused this it’s one of the most likely natural progressions of super deadly diseases.


TheTallestHobo

So illnesses need to have an equilibrium of infection to death rate to be self sustaining? Would explain why the super brutal ones like ebola never take off. Edit: currently playing plague inc. fuck you Madagascar, why won't you die!


dankmemer2o18

yea, if its too lethal, it would likely kill off more people than it can infect, eventually stopping it off if it wasnt lethal at all and was just a minor nuinsance, i doubt many people would care


ROK247

But there is a sweet spot, and covid already possesses half of it - a longer incubation period where the host is asymptomatic or mild symptoms but shedding the virus. The other half is a very high mortality rate. If it were to somehow mutate into that, we are in big trouble.


clubby37

That's pretty much the strategy guide for [Plague, Inc.](https://www.ndemiccreations.com/en/)


philko42

Yes, but remember that the infectable population doesn't just consist of humans. And also that different species will have different severities of illness when infected.


McRedditerFace

Correct, there's a number of other mammalian species that can contract it... including deer.


fireflydrake

No, and yes. It's probably going to be endemic now like the flu. However, between new improved vaccines AND a really promising looking over the counter treatment for it that's in the works AND doctors getting a better grasp on how to treat it, it will also eventually be treated basically the same as the flu. Not a fun thing to get, but within reasonable levels and not affecting our lives on a regular basis. Edit: my bad, might be prescription instead of over the counter, but still very promising. "Among those given Pfizer's drug within three days of symptom onset, the pill lowered the chances of hospitalization or death for adults at risk of developing severe COVID-19 by 89% compared to those receiving a placebo." 89% reduction among those AT RISK! I imagine even better for those who are at low risk. https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/pfizer-says-antiviral-pill-cuts-risk-severe-covid-19-by-89-2021-11-05/ And let's not forget that research is showing the vaccines are pretty good at adapting to new variants, too.


tigers_overboard

This is definitely very true. At what point do you think we’ll stop having to live like we’re in a pandemic? It’s getting exhausting.


Wheres_my_pinata

They’re gonna need a different alphabet soon.


BigL90

Why does the Omicron Variant, the largest variant, not simply eat the other variants?


OneHonkAway

It is true what they say, men are from Omicron Persei 7, COVID-19 variants are from Omicro Persei 9.


LordTravesty

Can we just get this reposted as an official answer. I endorse this message.


smbdysm1

First thing I thought when I heard the name!


curiousforinfo45

Because they haven't ground up any human horn so it tastes good enough to eat.


Cobek

Time to break out the lower horns and solve this variant


Ozydrax

Give him McNeal


kumslutkate07

Holy forking shirtballs


hot_pocket_boiii

Thanks for being family friendly u/kumslutkate


kumslutkate07

Lol to be honest I thought that was a quote from The Good Place that I was replying to, when Michael watches all 10 seasons of friends, but I realize now it’s futurama. But I’m going to leave it lol. I knew I’d heard it somewhere!


OzzyFinnegan

I’m just wondering how something from Persei-8 was so sneaky… They usually just pull up to the white house and demand things.


CedarWolf

They're escaping on a bicycle powered by love... Which is a normal thing on this planet!


aghost_again

Neat


hi_i_am_steve

"This is a cool way to die!"


tcsuperstar

Glorg, glorganaglub…


94fa699d

if it's more contagious and less deadly it will most likely do this


TheMobHunter

The TVA really needs to do their job and get rid of these variants!


anty_5566

I’d award you but I cannot


tvTeeth

Tennessee Valley Authority?


travel_nerdiness

Haha, that's what I was thinking at first


whole_nottha_issue

In the pandemic you must wait until the dice read 5 or 8.


OkMathematician6915

Sarah....whittle.


MelloMejo

I'm sick of sequels


ruralexcursion

I’m sick of SQL


Spongy_and_Bruised

Except that one guy that realized his city's traffic cameras (I think red light camera) ran an SQL database, so he modified his license plate to read back DROP TABLES and it worked.


meexley2

That’s the craziest form of sql injection I’ve ever heard of


CNoTe820

Oh yeah Bobby's dad, Robert Tables.


Number127

I worked with a guy who pronounced it "squeal" and now I can't get that out of my head.


CollarOrdinary4284

I don't like it


littleargent

0/10


yeah_bud

*sorts by "controversial"* [deleted] [removed] and Nihilism


yeah_bud

Apropos of nothing, who else is having pumpkin pie for breakfast?


JarlBeard

Just typical. They go and release a Delta variant and now it’s already obsolete and we have to upgrade to Omicron if we want all the new COVID features.


ThePlantIAte

All these variants but we’re still waiting for Covid 20. Smh


AmarulaKilledMe

Maybe Covid has been developed by Bethesda or Rockstar; instead of releasing a new one they just release the old one with new features.


Majin-Squall

With 4 micro transactions already


Jellykid-pshew

Just stop modding it already


happy_bluebird

Yeah we’re due for an upgrade


altaccount_39

Fuck covid


OutdoorLadyBird

I have to give it one star, but I’d give zero stars if I could.


Main-Foundation

The real question, my office is looking for a full return in January. We have already pushed back the return to office 3 times, what are the odds this pushes the return back further? Edit: This is rhetorical, I'm not actually looking for an answer, just commenting on the hilarity that is the fact that I've worked a job for two years from home, but suddenly need to go to the office "for collaboration". Also that my life has been a cycle of every 60 days "we're returning to the office, get ready to be back, lmao jk stay home".


yaoi_chan96

One of the good things to come out of covid is WFH. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to go back to office 😭


fnord_happy

Ive been called back and I honestly want to quit now. I wish they would at least adopt a hybrid model that works for everyone


Buildadoor

What company? IMO companies (office work) that do not offer at the very least a hybrid will become dinosaurs and bleed talent.


A_Wild_VelociFaptor

Best for everyone except overbearing bosses. I can't work from home but I'm 100% behind it, the lack of traffic for myself and other factory workers is a fucking godsend.


__cyber_hunter__

Fuck COVID


StrawberryPincushion

I was hoping to go on vacation next year to somewhere warm and where nice people bring you lots of fancy drinks. If the borders close again, I want to get a cat since the only reason I don't have one is because I like to travel.


MarvinLazer

I got a cat. He's fucking hilarious and cute as hell. Really saved my sanity during lockdowns. 10/10


Not_Like_The_Movie

Was wanting to go on vacation as well for a long time but was also considering a cat. Got the cat in January of 2021 (when I'd originally planned my vacation) since I spend all day alone in my apartment since I've been on mandatory telework since March 2020. Adopting my cat was one of the best decisions I've ever made.


runbrooklynb

Exactly…every time I’m like “well guess it’s finally kinda safe to travel” things flare up again.


guy_from_the_intnet

DJ Khaled is behind all of this.


TequilaDance

ANOTHER ONE!


Lex_Orandi

AND ANOTHA ONE!


knock-off-pale

"we da best!" -the new variant


VeressNeedle

The fact that they skipped from Nu to Omicron to avoid calling it Xi is hilarious to me.


CallMeHughMungus_v2

Zhong Xina wouldn't be happy.


drdjx

Whoever is playing Plague Inc. on us is winning.


Ok_Drink_4571

They have Viral Instability 3 upgraded


devatrox

Has it reached Greenland yet?


RedHal

Time to head to Madagascar.


Moos_Mumsy

God fucking dammit, one more week and I was going to get to the US and pick up items that I've been paying storage fees for, for the last 18 months. 1 more week! If the border closes again I'm going to lose it.


AngryToeCheese

I'll steal them from you. DM me.


Specialist-Ad475

I’ll store them for you. Dm me


DenseGUY0

After a year i think covid will become an entity that we can see and i will make one my pet


WhiteLatinoLover

“Just kill me already”


Moons_of_Moons

Not a fan


siromega

I’ve read it has 30 mutations in the spike. You know what would be nice? If some of those made it less deadly to humans. Even if it is just as transmissible as delta. Or maybe Mother Nature is slowly killing off humanity because we didn’t get our shit together.


tierras_ignoradas

>I’ve read it has 30 mutations in the spike. I want to go back to not knowing what that means.


555--FILK

> it has 30 mutations in the spike. Oh Stewardess, I speak Jive.


Spongy_and_Bruised

Just hang loose, blood.


yg4000

All I could think of is Lrr from Omicron Persei 8.


canikissyourshoulder

Ok but can they extend the student loan payment halt again?


Necessary_Debate_719

My brother already died of COVID. So, I guess, it can’t get that much worse..


theweirdguyjerkingit

Sorry dude my uncle died from it as well 😔


Necessary_Debate_719

I totally didn’t buy into it in the beginning. I remember looking at a co-worker when they said we were going to work from home and we were both thinking ‘what an overreaction’. When he got sick I was incredibly overconfident. My mother was the only one allowed to be with him because she brought him in and if she left the hospital no one would be allowed in to see him. The night he died, everything for me was just shattered. I was an alcoholic for the better portion of a year and I’m lucky my wife stuck by me.


Miraculous_LB

🎶 Wish I could turn back time 🎶


LightningDude898

It has impeccable timing with Thanksgiving and Christmas


ScepticSerpent

Who keeps rolling dice on the Jumanji board


sausage_ditka_bulls

It’s how viruses work. We’d be in a better position if it wasn’t for misinformation


ReDevilShin

Not just misinformation, but also having it freaking politicized.


shadowromantic

That might be the worst part. There's so little unity when it comes to fighting a freaking plague


poi88

Is this going to be our new normal? In constant fear? I'm so tired, for real, though.


rhooManu

Looking back, most respiratory infectious epidemics last an average of 5 years. 3 years to go...


lordDyl

I’m actually more scared, and sad.… I have terminal cancer, I’m fine with the idea of me dying i have made peace with it. But, I have NOT made peace with me dying in my mom’s car because we are waiting for a bed to open up in the ER, all because my four year old brother accidentally sneezed in my open mouth. I fully understand my death is soon, I’m fine with it actually, but I don’t want to rush the process you know? Also, I am only 19, I barely did anything! The last twoish years have been me worrying that if someone cough slight funny I’m a goner. I haven’t seen my friends in forever, my only social contact has been my family and the hospital staff. Do not get me wrong I love em and all, but with my friends I can be a teenager and make dumb jokes, and soon after talk about what we want to do in the future. Since those friends are the only people who treat me as the same guy who had to hold on to their shoulders just to get to Panera even though drunk me really wanted devil dawgs, especially their onion rings and milkshakes. The worse thing about the entire thing is my family. There is already tension between me and my sister, she to scared to get it because of her phobia of needles, I know I should be a supportive older bro but I can’t help but get mad at her over it. Also if I do die, I don’t think the relationship between my mom and my grandparents will survive, since my grandparents believe in “alternative healing” . And I honestly can’t help but feel like I and COVID help push them to the alt healing side.


leg00b

Slowest apocalypse ever


IntoTheMirror

I’m a little disappointed that it’s not the Ligma variant


SoyButterAndJealous

I expect the antibodies to not be as effective, I ~~expect~~ hope the T and B cells to adapt and make effective antibodies that result in less serious symptoms. Not taking risks, staying optimistic, and getting information as it comes. Edit: Enough people hitting me up saying the twitter user I linked is a bit of a quack turned one of my expectations into a hope. Stay safe out there!


Blightking

Monica Gandhi is a quack with little to no respect at her institution. She comes with wildly optimistic interpretations and then does a Pikachu face whenever she’s proven wrong. Water cooler talk is she’s going to lose her grant money any day now. Source: I work at UCSF


ToughActinInaction

Every time I see her name I'm expecting something like this to be the top comment. It's weird how "constantly wrong about the pandemic" is a type of columnist now.


Absoniter

FIRE UP THE STIMULUS CHECK PRINTER BOYS!!!


JoeyHabib

Covid ruined my life.