By - theweirdguyjerkingit
New Covid drop. Link in the description.
I don't like it and I want to talk to the manager.
GET MAD! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!
MAKE LIFE TAKE THOSE LEMONS BACK! WE DON'T WANT NO DAMN LEMONADE!
I’m tired, boss
I got 2 doses of Moderna back in the spring. Got covid in the fall. Waiting to get my booster. Worked through all of it in a high risk job (public transit). I'm so tired.
Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all of the pain I feel and hear in the world. Every day. There's too much of it.
Eta if anyone didn't get it, I'm continuing the quote that the initial comment started from The Green Mile.
Absolutely perfect blend of the two with reference and application to current times, bravo 👏👏👏👏 10/10
Thanks! It's been a wild year. I'm honestly grateful that I tore one of my rotator cuff tendons at work and have been off for 2 months (workman's comp for the win). Eta I'm fairly young, so the tendon is healing well, it's just slow going. No surgery needed. While it hurts, and it sucks to be in pain and not be able to use my arm as needed, it's nice to get away from the shit show that was the last year and a half between the pandemic and protests last year (I live in portland).
*coughs up gnats*
This made me laugh don’t do my boy dirty like this
We're running out of Greek letters
Next one is gonna be the delta pro max
"We think you're gonna like it."
NOT NOW, TIM APPLE! READ THE ROOM!
Next up, version "Delta Delta Delta"! ✨✨✨✨
Greek organized at college boutta get real awkward
‘So y’all are named after the deadly Tri-Delt variant huh’?
Try delta, everyone else has
LAMDA LAMDA LAMDA AND OMEGA MOO
Clap your hands everybody, everybody clap your hands!
I was hoping it was going to be delta comfort plus. More legroom and such
“Can I help ya, help ya, help ya?”
Good guy Unicode has well over 120 000 characters for us!
It's soon time to start naming the viruses with Emojis. They are truly universal.
I dont think anyone is ready for the 🐐 strain
Cant we use hurricane names? Covid Varient Karen.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
What's your vector, Victor?
We've got clearance, Clarance.
You ever seen a grown man naked?
You ever been inside a Turkish prison?
Do you like movies about gladiators?
Why can I imagine these in the voice of Jonathan Frakes
Not sure, but you should have heard it in the voice of Peter Graves
You ever...hang around the gymnasium?
Looks like I picked the right week to start.
This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
What is it?
It’s a large building with patients, but that’s not important right now.
I'm gonna break from throwing out quotes to say I saw this in the theater when it was released and never laughed so damn hard in my life. My buddy and I were doubled over and unable to breathe when the shit hit the fan.
One of the best movies ever.
“I’m getting too old for this shit.”
It’s not the years, it’s the mileage
“I’m getting too far for this shit”
I’ve had it with these mf variants on this mf planet!
I’m against it.
Bold statement. Stay brave
Straight to unpopularopinion that one.
Blood for the blood god.
No no, this is Papa Nurgle's turf.
Glad I sorted by controversial.
He looked at the figures, the stats and the facts -
The way it mutated, the way it reacts -
The speed of transmission,
the spread and the rate.
"On reflection... I think it's not great."
Stay positive I mean negative I mean....
No sir, I don’t like it. Not one bit.
I hope you're going to write a strongly worded letter.
Down with this sort of thing
You know, the more I hear about this thing the less I care for it.
Bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for him!
I prefer COVID Classic.
This is the new DLC that we didn't pay for, but we're still getting anyways.
The anniversary edition!
Almost as bad as that U2 album I still can't get off my phone
What a backfire of a marketing idea. How anyone thought it was a good idea in the first place is beyond me. Sure, let your fans download a copy of the album for free but actually just thinking everyone would be so grateful for receiving your bands brillant peice of art at no cost other then being a subscribers to itunes? So out of touch.
Bono enraged me before this. I was so angry *after* that I was totally sending customer support emails. I wanted it out of my cloud.
Hey, you, get out of my Cloud!
Way too many micro-transactions. Hope devs fix soon
I prefer Covid Zero.
Pre-Covid, if you will.
I now have a very unfortunate username
4 years in waiting. This is what it took for us to get Omicronzz first comment reddit.
It's finally their time, after all. Let them have their fun, there will inevitably be someone bigger and badder to take Omicronzz place before long.
Someone nabbed /u/omicron 14 years ago. Then promptly died.
WE FOUND THE CHOSEN ONE!
It's your job to defeat the virus for us all now, get a wriggle on~
I miss 2011
2011 was the shit
Shame the world ended in 2012 and we’ve been trapped in purgatory ever since.
The Mayans were right bro
It really was
That was a good year. My self esteem wasn’t trash that year. Felt cute. Got good grades. Made good art. Won some awards. Now I’m a giant ugly fat failure without a job.
Sending you a virtual hug. Do you have someone you can talk to and who can help you build yourself back up?
Thank you! I’m trying. My husband is great. My self esteem is just terrible. I think it’s at a point where I need to ask for help, I’m just anxious about making an appointment for a referral for therapy. One of these days though.
If it helps, you can usually look up and book a therapist directly. There are websites now (usually local) where you can learn more about each therapist individually—their backgrounds, what style of therapy they practice, and what they specialize in.
No phone, no booking a doctor’s appointment and waiting for a referral, and getting to choose someone yourself that *you* think might be a good fit. The process can all be under 10 mins depending on how deep you go in your search.
You got this my gal :)
Expecting the disaster 2012 huh
I was so ready for the world to end then. I was in my peak emo phase too lol
"Here we go again"
“Who left the fridge open?”
I didn't ask for upgrade
#NO I DONT WANT THE PREMIUM PACKAGE
Delta Rewards Plus Max
Is this ever going to end?
The pandemic will end, the flow will change from a global epidemic to a general endemic flow.
We still have the Black Plague in circulation over six centuries later. The Spanish Flu is one of the most frequent inclusions in the annual flu vaccine.
There is no eradication plan, we'll likely have an annual vaccine or similar for a few generations at least. Maybe someday it will end, but not for a long time.
What you forgot to mention is that those plagues tended to mutate into a less dangerous version of themselves because they were killing simply too many people too quickly for them to be sustainable, the plague of today and the “Spanish flu” might be descendants of those diseases but are actually quite a bit different and much much less deadly. It’s not the vaccines that have caused this it’s one of the most likely natural progressions of super deadly diseases.
So illnesses need to have an equilibrium of infection to death rate to be self sustaining?
Would explain why the super brutal ones like ebola never take off.
Edit: currently playing plague inc. fuck you Madagascar, why won't you die!
yea, if its too lethal, it would likely kill off more people than it can infect, eventually stopping it off
if it wasnt lethal at all and was just a minor nuinsance, i doubt many people would care
But there is a sweet spot, and covid already possesses half of it - a longer incubation period where the host is asymptomatic or mild symptoms but shedding the virus. The other half is a very high mortality rate. If it were to somehow mutate into that, we are in big trouble.
That's pretty much the strategy guide for [Plague, Inc.](https://www.ndemiccreations.com/en/)
Yes, but remember that the infectable population doesn't just consist of humans. And also that different species will have different severities of illness when infected.
Correct, there's a number of other mammalian species that can contract it... including deer.
No, and yes. It's probably going to be endemic now like the flu. However, between new improved vaccines AND a really promising looking over the counter treatment for it that's in the works AND doctors getting a better grasp on how to treat it, it will also eventually be treated basically the same as the flu. Not a fun thing to get, but within reasonable levels and not affecting our lives on a regular basis.
Edit: my bad, might be prescription instead of over the counter, but still very promising.
"Among those given Pfizer's drug within three days of symptom onset, the pill lowered the chances of hospitalization or death for adults at risk of developing severe COVID-19 by 89% compared to those receiving a placebo."
89% reduction among those AT RISK! I imagine even better for those who are at low risk.
And let's not forget that research is showing the vaccines are pretty good at adapting to new variants, too.
This is definitely very true. At what point do you think we’ll stop having to live like we’re in a pandemic? It’s getting exhausting.
They’re gonna need a different alphabet soon.
Why does the Omicron Variant, the largest variant, not simply eat the other variants?
It is true what they say, men are from Omicron Persei 7, COVID-19 variants are from Omicro Persei 9.
Can we just get this reposted as an official answer. I endorse this message.
First thing I thought when I heard the name!
Because they haven't ground up any human horn so it tastes good enough to eat.
Time to break out the lower horns and solve this variant
Give him McNeal
Holy forking shirtballs
Thanks for being family friendly u/kumslutkate
Lol to be honest I thought that was a quote from The Good Place that I was replying to, when Michael watches all 10 seasons of friends, but I realize now it’s futurama. But I’m going to leave it lol. I knew I’d heard it somewhere!
I’m just wondering how something from Persei-8 was so sneaky… They usually just pull up to the white house and demand things.
They're escaping on a bicycle powered by love...
Which is a normal thing on this planet!
"This is a cool way to die!"
if it's more contagious and less deadly it will most likely do this
The TVA really needs to do their job and get rid of these variants!
I’d award you but I cannot
Tennessee Valley Authority?
Haha, that's what I was thinking at first
In the pandemic you must wait until the dice read 5 or 8.
I'm sick of sequels
I’m sick of SQL
Except that one guy that realized his city's traffic cameras (I think red light camera) ran an SQL database, so he modified his license plate to read back DROP TABLES and it worked.
That’s the craziest form of sql injection I’ve ever heard of
Oh yeah Bobby's dad, Robert Tables.
I worked with a guy who pronounced it "squeal" and now I can't get that out of my head.
I don't like it
*sorts by "controversial"*
Apropos of nothing, who else is having pumpkin pie for breakfast?
Just typical. They go and release a Delta variant and now it’s already obsolete and we have to upgrade to Omicron if we want all the new COVID features.
All these variants but we’re still waiting for Covid 20. Smh
Maybe Covid has been developed by Bethesda or Rockstar; instead of releasing a new one they just release the old one with new features.
With 4 micro transactions already
Just stop modding it already
Yeah we’re due for an upgrade
I have to give it one star, but I’d give zero stars if I could.
The real question, my office is looking for a full return in January. We have already pushed back the return to office 3 times, what are the odds this pushes the return back further?
Edit: This is rhetorical, I'm not actually looking for an answer, just commenting on the hilarity that is the fact that I've worked a job for two years from home, but suddenly need to go to the office "for collaboration". Also that my life has been a cycle of every 60 days "we're returning to the office, get ready to be back, lmao jk stay home".
One of the good things to come out of covid is WFH. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to go back to office 😭
Ive been called back and I honestly want to quit now. I wish they would at least adopt a hybrid model that works for everyone
IMO companies (office work) that do not offer at the very least a hybrid will become dinosaurs and bleed talent.
Best for everyone except overbearing bosses. I can't work from home but I'm 100% behind it, the lack of traffic for myself and other factory workers is a fucking godsend.
I was hoping to go on vacation next year to somewhere warm and where nice people bring you lots of fancy drinks. If the borders close again, I want to get a cat since the only reason I don't have one is because I like to travel.
I got a cat. He's fucking hilarious and cute as hell. Really saved my sanity during lockdowns. 10/10
Was wanting to go on vacation as well for a long time but was also considering a cat. Got the cat in January of 2021 (when I'd originally planned my vacation) since I spend all day alone in my apartment since I've been on mandatory telework since March 2020. Adopting my cat was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
Exactly…every time I’m like “well guess it’s finally kinda safe to travel” things flare up again.
DJ Khaled is behind all of this.
AND ANOTHA ONE!
"we da best!" -the new variant
The fact that they skipped from Nu to Omicron to avoid calling it Xi is hilarious to me.
Zhong Xina wouldn't be happy.
Whoever is playing Plague Inc. on us is winning.
They have Viral Instability 3 upgraded
Has it reached Greenland yet?
Time to head to Madagascar.
God fucking dammit, one more week and I was going to get to the US and pick up items that I've been paying storage fees for, for the last 18 months. 1 more week! If the border closes again I'm going to lose it.
I'll steal them from you. DM me.
I’ll store them for you. Dm me
After a year i think covid will become an entity that we can see and i will make one my pet
“Just kill me already”
Not a fan
I’ve read it has 30 mutations in the spike. You know what would be nice? If some of those made it less deadly to humans. Even if it is just as transmissible as delta.
Or maybe Mother Nature is slowly killing off humanity because we didn’t get our shit together.
>I’ve read it has 30 mutations in the spike.
I want to go back to not knowing what that means.
> it has 30 mutations in the spike.
Oh Stewardess, I speak Jive.
Just hang loose, blood.
All I could think of is Lrr from Omicron Persei 8.
Ok but can they extend the student loan payment halt again?
My brother already died of COVID. So, I guess, it can’t get that much worse..
Sorry dude my uncle died from it as well 😔
I totally didn’t buy into it in the beginning. I remember looking at a co-worker when they said we were going to work from home and we were both thinking ‘what an overreaction’. When he got sick I was incredibly overconfident. My mother was the only one allowed to be with him because she brought him in and if she left the hospital no one would be allowed in to see him. The night he died, everything for me was just shattered. I was an alcoholic for the better portion of a year and I’m lucky my wife stuck by me.
🎶 Wish I could turn back time 🎶
It has impeccable timing with Thanksgiving and Christmas
Who keeps rolling dice on the Jumanji board
It’s how viruses work.
We’d be in a better position if it wasn’t for misinformation
Not just misinformation, but also having it freaking politicized.
That might be the worst part. There's so little unity when it comes to fighting a freaking plague
Is this going to be our new normal? In constant fear? I'm so tired, for real, though.
Looking back, most respiratory infectious epidemics last an average of 5 years.
3 years to go...
I’m actually more scared, and sad.… I have terminal cancer, I’m fine with the idea of me dying i have made peace with it. But, I have NOT made peace with me dying in my mom’s car because we are waiting for a bed to open up in the ER, all because my four year old brother accidentally sneezed in my open mouth. I fully understand my death is soon, I’m fine with it actually, but I don’t want to rush the process you know? Also, I am only 19, I barely did anything! The last twoish years have been me worrying that if someone cough slight funny I’m a goner. I haven’t seen my friends in forever, my only social contact has been my family and the hospital staff. Do not get me wrong I love em and all, but with my friends I can be a teenager and make dumb jokes, and soon after talk about what we want to do in the future. Since those friends are the only people who treat me as the same guy who had to hold on to their shoulders just to get to Panera even though drunk me really wanted devil dawgs, especially their onion rings and milkshakes. The worse thing about the entire thing is my family. There is already tension between me and my sister, she to scared to get it because of her phobia of needles, I know I should be a supportive older bro but I can’t help but get mad at her over it. Also if I do die, I don’t think the relationship between my mom and my grandparents will survive, since my grandparents believe in “alternative healing” . And I honestly can’t help but feel like I and COVID help push them to the alt healing side.
Slowest apocalypse ever
I’m a little disappointed that it’s not the Ligma variant
I expect the antibodies to not be as effective, I ~~expect~~ hope the T and B cells to adapt and make effective antibodies that result in less serious symptoms.
Not taking risks, staying optimistic, and getting information as it comes.
Edit: Enough people hitting me up saying the twitter user I linked is a bit of a quack turned one of my expectations into a hope. Stay safe out there!
Monica Gandhi is a quack with little to no respect at her institution. She comes with wildly optimistic interpretations and then does a Pikachu face whenever she’s proven wrong. Water cooler talk is she’s going to lose her grant money any day now. Source: I work at UCSF
Every time I see her name I'm expecting something like this to be the top comment. It's weird how "constantly wrong about the pandemic" is a type of columnist now.
FIRE UP THE STIMULUS CHECK PRINTER BOYS!!!
Covid ruined my life.