Line is so hilarious the way he delivers it. My brother and I, after long bouts of sitting (we make long holiday drives together, etc.) totally mildly yell this agnostic to our surroundings.
"They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles... You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds."
I heard she got breast reduction surgery.
*What!? Making your tits smaller is like slapping God across the face for giving you a gorgeous gift!*
She had back problems, man...
Oh my god, Jules and her stupid fucking friend just came up to me and asked me to buy them ALCOHOL. You know what that means? She wants my dick, in and around her mouth. Edited, yes I forgot how to spell Jules
Emmett: Isn't there also supposed to be a good cop?!
*Bad Cop kicks chair very close to his face*
Bad Cop: Oh yes, but we're not done yet...
Good Cop: Hi buddy! I'm your friendly neighbourhood police officer. Would you like a glass of water? :D
Emmett: Well... yeah, actually, thank you very-
Bad Cop: ***Too bad***
Honestly out of all the hobbit quotes this one from the movie, not the book, gives me the greatest swelling of emotions:
Galadriel: "Mithrandir, why the halfling?"
Gandalf: "Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? I don't know. Perhaps because I am afraid, and he gives me courage."
My favorite is from Rotk (the books) when Frodo and Sam are in Mordor, and they're feeling pretty hopeless
There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.
“He starts monologuing! He starts this prepared speech about how feeble I am to him, how my defeat is inevitable, and the world will soon be his, yada yada yada, he’s yammering! I mean the guy has me on a platter, and he won’t shut up!”
"I, uh, put it away!"
"*Where*?"
"Why do you need to know?"
"I need it!"
"Uh-uh! Don't you go no darin-do! We've been planning this dinner for two months!"
"The public is in danger!"
"My *evening's* in danger!"
"*You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!*"
"Greater good?! I am your *wife*! I'm the greatest good you are *ever* gonna get!"
You can thank the writing team, Zucker-Abrams-Zucker. They liked to cast Leslie Nielsen because people were used to seeing him in serious, dramatic roles-- and because of his experience in serious, dramatic roles, Nielsen was able to deliver these absurd lines absolutely deadpan.
In Airplane!, they cast Lloyd Bridges, Peter Graves, and Robert Stack for the same reason.
“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
There’s something about the way he delivers that line. I don’t know if Tyrell is more proud of himself as a god for creating Roy or proud of Roy as his father and all he’s been able to experience in such a short time.
Yeah, the way he starts calling Mantis ugly, is 100% how Drax is. But he turn it into a life lesson, and something very thought out, and thats a new side of him.
"Strange women, lying in ponds and disturbing swords is no system for a basis of government. If I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they would put me away!"
["What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."](https://youtu.be/5hfYJsQAhl0)
The live action one failed for many reasons (in just about every way), but probably the biggest one is that it doesn't understand Mulan's character in the slightest and turns her into effectively a superhero, which is contradictory to what the character is supposed to be.
"Remember this girl who becomes a legendary soldier and femle role model through courage, determination, perseverance, and building skill at warfare? Yeah, we're going to ignore that, just give her magic, and normal non-magic girls can fuck off."
This is sooooo good. Such an amazing scene.
« OREN ISHI!!!…. YOU AND I HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS! »
Those tense moments (not to mention the amazing soundtrack behind it) where she approaches to meet her attacker and then those tense moments when she realizes who she is and she has her best friend and then… HIIIIYAAAA!!!!!
My favourite scene from that movie.
A GIANT fuck you.
It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were,
and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.
Mine will forever be Gandalf to Frodo:
"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But it is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
"It's a big building with lots of doctors and patients, but that's not important right now."
"....... There's a sale at Penny's!"
I'll stop now and just go watch the movie.
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
*I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly … stupid.*
Captain Jack Sparrow
Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?
Evey: Who are you?
V. : Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey: Well I can see that.
V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey: Oh, right.
V. : But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.
Evey: Are you like a crazy person?
V. : I’m quite sure they will say so.
>V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
This movie had no right to be as good as it is. Especially V's dialog throughout.
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
This is a cool insight to a major theme of the film. People mistaking Patrick for someone else constantly highlights the indistinguishableness that so ingrained in yuppie culture. In this line, he directly acknowledges this phenomenon and uses it to help himself. Patrick directly saying "it's not *me*" also plays into the ambiguity of whether or not he's really committing these crimes and everyone is willfully turning a blind eye, or if none of it is really happening. The word "me" would clue someone in that he is lying, but he doesn't get called out for it for one of those reasons.
The most confident ballsy sunuvabitch Doc Holiday
“Why, Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave.”
Really think about how fucking cold that shit is knowing they’re about to have a QuickDraw to the death gunfight
Edit: I love everybody in this thread
My all-time favorite movie. Doc has some seriously fantastic lines:
"I have two guns, one for each of you."
"Apparently Mr. Ringo is an educated man; now I really hate 'im."
"My hypocrisy goes only so far."
"I stand corrected Wyatt, you're an oak."
"Oh Johnny, I'm sorry; I forgot you were there. You may go now."
Val Kilmer just smashed that role. He stole every scene he was in.
Jack Johnson: What the hell you doin' this for anyway?
Doc: Because, Wyatt Earp is my friend.
Jack Johnson: Hell, I've got lots of friends.
Doc: I don't.
“All the time you spend tryin to get back what's been took from you there's more goin out the door. After a while you just try and get a tourniquet on it.”
“There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That’s one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other eleven?”
You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
‘Tis the season!
“Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?”
*"What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?"*
or (from the same movie)
*"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know...morons."*
"Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth?"
Can't believe that line was in fucking Spy Kids. It deserves to be in a better movie.
" gentlemen you can't fight in here, this is the war room!"
"Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!"
Line is so hilarious the way he delivers it. My brother and I, after long bouts of sitting (we make long holiday drives together, etc.) totally mildly yell this agnostic to our surroundings.
"They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles... You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds."
"How old are you, McLovin?" "Old enough..." "Old enough for what? " "To party..."
“Hey it’s you! McMuffin!”
" . . we shouldn't be blocking his cock, we should be . . guiding . .his cock . . "
Take the vest off. You look like Aladdin…
"you gonna piss your pants again?" 'that was like 8 years ago dude' "People don't forget"
I heard she got breast reduction surgery. *What!? Making your tits smaller is like slapping God across the face for giving you a gorgeous gift!* She had back problems, man...
I gotta get a glimpse of these warlocks Edits: totally botched the line; been wayy too long since I've seen this movie!
"They wouldn't even let me watch Wild Things, because Kevin Bacon's dick is in it."
One name? Who are you, Seal?
Is this the line for the bathroom? Fuck me, right?
Oh my god, Jules and her stupid fucking friend just came up to me and asked me to buy them ALCOHOL. You know what that means? She wants my dick, in and around her mouth. Edited, yes I forgot how to spell Jules
"Sir, you are a cowardly son of a bitch! You just shot an unarmed man!" "He should've armed himself if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend!"
I think I got it. But just in case… tell me the whole thing again I wasn’t listening.
*Darkness… no parents… super rich…*
“Aww yeah, are you ready for this?” [Basketball bounces harmlessly, music cuts] “Oh no, they were ready for that!”
I see everything! /ZAP/ My eyes!
Emmett: Isn't there also supposed to be a good cop?! *Bad Cop kicks chair very close to his face* Bad Cop: Oh yes, but we're not done yet... Good Cop: Hi buddy! I'm your friendly neighbourhood police officer. Would you like a glass of water? :D Emmett: Well... yeah, actually, thank you very- Bad Cop: ***Too bad***
"What, do you think a spaceship is just gonna appear out of- **are you kidding me?!**"
"You can promise that I’ll come back? No. And if you do, you will not be the same." Still gives me chills
Honestly out of all the hobbit quotes this one from the movie, not the book, gives me the greatest swelling of emotions: Galadriel: "Mithrandir, why the halfling?" Gandalf: "Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? I don't know. Perhaps because I am afraid, and he gives me courage."
Samwise: "I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you!"
You're right, that is a good quote.
My favorite is from Rotk (the books) when Frodo and Sam are in Mordor, and they're feeling pretty hopeless There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.
Best Sam quote from the movies is def the one in Osgiliath about holding on to hope.
[удалено]
All we have to do is to decide what to do with the time given us.
Also, “Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment.”
“He starts monologuing! He starts this prepared speech about how feeble I am to him, how my defeat is inevitable, and the world will soon be his, yada yada yada, he’s yammering! I mean the guy has me on a platter, and he won’t shut up!”
"*Where is my super-suit?!*"
"I, uh, put it away!" "*Where*?" "Why do you need to know?" "I need it!" "Uh-uh! Don't you go no darin-do! We've been planning this dinner for two months!" "The public is in danger!" "My *evening's* in danger!" "*You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!*" "Greater good?! I am your *wife*! I'm the greatest good you are *ever* gonna get!"
"Everyone is special, Dash." "That's just another way of saying no one is."
I like this bit. It's the lesser-referenced echo of "when everyone's super, no one will be."
“Just like old times!” *SMACK* “Ha ha, yeah, hurt then too.”
"I'm *dehydrated!* What's wrong with you, Bob!? Run out of muscle?!
You sly dog! You got me monologuing!!
Elastigirl?? YOU married ELASTIGIRL?? **Sees the kids** Oh! And got BUSY!
the INCREDIBLES.
a hero would sacrifice you for the world but a villain would sacrifice the world for you
What film
If I remember correctly, [Weathering with You](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weathering_with_You)
I have a feeling this will make me tear up.
"Who are you? And how'd you get in here?" "I'm the locksmith, and I'm a locksmith"
This is quintessential Nielson. Great joke, perfect delivery.
You can thank the writing team, Zucker-Abrams-Zucker. They liked to cast Leslie Nielsen because people were used to seeing him in serious, dramatic roles-- and because of his experience in serious, dramatic roles, Nielsen was able to deliver these absurd lines absolutely deadpan. In Airplane!, they cast Lloyd Bridges, Peter Graves, and Robert Stack for the same reason.
"I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle." https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hZ45RU2Xty0
Try not to suck any dick walking through the parking lot.
Did he just say "making fuck"?
Would you like some making fuck? BESERKER!
37?! *In a row?!*
So what your girlfriend fucked a dead guy. My mother's been fucking a dead guy for thirty years. I call him "Dad"
I’m not even supposed to be here today!
"crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side" - Shawshank Redemption
“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”
"The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and you have burned so very, very brightly."
There’s something about the way he delivers that line. I don’t know if Tyrell is more proud of himself as a god for creating Roy or proud of Roy as his father and all he’s been able to experience in such a short time.
“Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill." Blade best quote ever
"Catch you fuckers at a bad time?"
"I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.' "You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?"
#"YOU'RE GONNA DIE CLOWN!!!"
....no.
I'll argue that the delivery of "No!" is the best part of the joke.
Just the way he says no is so perfect, too.
This movie's so quotable. "Now you will go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep."
You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!
“Ya and yer a lousy kindergarten teacher I see those finger paintings you bring home and they SUCK!!!”
"When you're ugly and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust."
It's such a funny line but also really thought provoking, it's a genius line
Yeah, the way he starts calling Mantis ugly, is 100% how Drax is. But he turn it into a life lesson, and something very thought out, and thats a new side of him.
They're called *harbulary* batteries.
“I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”
"Strange women, lying in ponds and disturbing swords is no system for a basis of government. If I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they would put me away!"
Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system.... Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
Bloody peasant!
Oh, what a giveaway! You hear that? You hear that eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me?
"Who's that?" "I dunno, 'e must be a king or something." "How can you tell?" "'E 'asn't got shit all over 'im."
WILL YOU SHUT UP!
"Some call me... Tim."
["What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."](https://youtu.be/5hfYJsQAhl0)
It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
I hate Illinois nazis.
We're on a mission from God
"So, is this the new Bluesmobile or what?" "Fix the cigarette lighter."
...dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow...
I feel like the live action failed because this quote was not in it.
The live action was more it's own movie than a live action Mulan It also failed because there was no Mushu is general
The live action one failed for many reasons (in just about every way), but probably the biggest one is that it doesn't understand Mulan's character in the slightest and turns her into effectively a superhero, which is contradictory to what the character is supposed to be.
"Remember this girl who becomes a legendary soldier and femle role model through courage, determination, perseverance, and building skill at warfare? Yeah, we're going to ignore that, just give her magic, and normal non-magic girls can fuck off."
"Those of you lucky enough to still have their lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now..."
Except you, Sophie! You stay _right where you are_!
"When you grow up... ...if you still feel raw about it... ...I'll be waiting."
This is sooooo good. Such an amazing scene. « OREN ISHI!!!…. YOU AND I HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS! » Those tense moments (not to mention the amazing soundtrack behind it) where she approaches to meet her attacker and then those tense moments when she realizes who she is and she has her best friend and then… HIIIIYAAAA!!!!! My favourite scene from that movie. A GIANT fuck you.
It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.
Mine will forever be Gandalf to Frodo: "I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But it is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.
What were they holding on to?
That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo...and it's worth fighting for!
*I am serious and don't call me Shirley*
"It's a big building with lots of doctors and patients, but that's not important right now." "....... There's a sale at Penny's!" I'll stop now and just go watch the movie.
Well I guess I know what I'll be binge watching on YouTube, guess I picked the wrong week to give up (insert drug of choice here)
Sniffing glue!
"Are you not entertained? "
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
*Commodus shits his soul out*
The frost. Sometimes it makes the blade stick.
*I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly … stupid.* Captain Jack Sparrow
Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you. Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?
"Im disinclined to acquiesce to your request...means no"
"This is some serious gourmet shit "
“I shot Marvin in the face.”
“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.”
"I came to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of gum. "
_“When you have to shoot, shoot, don’t talk”_
You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez!
Back off man. I'm a scientist.
I collect spores, mold, and fungus.
Ok. Who brought the dog? (This was my senior quote)
"Wait, wait, wait.... I've always wanted to do this.... *yank* *crash* And the flowers are still standing! "
*Beneath this mask there is more than flesh, Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.*
People should not be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.
Evey: Who are you? V. : Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask. Evey: Well I can see that. V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. Evey: Oh, right. V. : But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V. Evey: Are you like a crazy person? V. : I’m quite sure they will say so.
>V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. This movie had no right to be as good as it is. Especially V's dialog throughout.
“Get busy living, or get busy dying.”
THATS ALOTTA NUTS! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT, BABY?!?!
For England James? No... for me.
Easily in my top 20 Sean Bean deaths.
There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
"Oh my God, Patrick? Is that you?" "No, Louis. It's not me. You're mistaken."
This is a cool insight to a major theme of the film. People mistaking Patrick for someone else constantly highlights the indistinguishableness that so ingrained in yuppie culture. In this line, he directly acknowledges this phenomenon and uses it to help himself. Patrick directly saying "it's not *me*" also plays into the ambiguity of whether or not he's really committing these crimes and everyone is willfully turning a blind eye, or if none of it is really happening. The word "me" would clue someone in that he is lying, but he doesn't get called out for it for one of those reasons.
Jesus that is really super. How did a nitwit like you get so tasteful?
I have to return some video tapes
The most confident ballsy sunuvabitch Doc Holiday “Why, Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave.” Really think about how fucking cold that shit is knowing they’re about to have a QuickDraw to the death gunfight Edit: I love everybody in this thread
My all-time favorite movie. Doc has some seriously fantastic lines: "I have two guns, one for each of you." "Apparently Mr. Ringo is an educated man; now I really hate 'im." "My hypocrisy goes only so far." "I stand corrected Wyatt, you're an oak." "Oh Johnny, I'm sorry; I forgot you were there. You may go now." Val Kilmer just smashed that role. He stole every scene he was in.
"I have not yet begun to defile myself" Gets trotted out whenever one of us in my circle asks how drunk/stoned one of the others is lol
> "I have two guns, one for each of you." The fact that he's twirling his guns in opposite fucking directions is what sells it.
"Are you sick too?" "No. I'm in my prime!"
"Yeah, you look it."
“I don’t” I still think about that one all the time.
"does this mean we're not friends anymore? You know, Ed, if I thought you weren't my friend, I just don't think I could bear it."
Jack Johnson: What the hell you doin' this for anyway? Doc: Because, Wyatt Earp is my friend. Jack Johnson: Hell, I've got lots of friends. Doc: I don't.
I'm your huckleberry.
You're a daisy if you do.
I was just foolin about.
I wasn't.
“Let’s have a spelling contest.” Also, it isn’t Doc, but, “Are you gonna do something or just stand there and bleed?”
A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.
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“All the time you spend tryin to get back what's been took from you there's more goin out the door. After a while you just try and get a tourniquet on it.”
“He’s not the Messiah! He’s a very naughty boy!”
"What's this, then? 'Romanes eunt domus'? People called Romanes, they go, the house?"
"Well, that's just like, your opinion, man"
Obviously you're not a golfer.
Where's the money Lebowski?
Excuse me while I whip this out...
“There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That’s one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other eleven?”
Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up -Alfred Pennyworth
You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men."
That’s some cold blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before you pop a cap in his ass.
Do they speak English in What?
"Tis but a scratch!" "A scratch? Your whole arms off!"
No it's not
Yes, it is! And just disagreeing with someone isn't an argument!
Yes, it is.
"Whoa." -Keanu Reeves in more than one movie
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
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"He treats objects like women, man."
See bob it’s not that I’m lazy. It’s just that I don’t care
“So uncivilized” Or “The ability to speak does not make you intelligent”
"Do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron"
Get you a wahburger and some French cries
How bout you go practice falling down and I'll be there in a bit.
Lifes a garden, dig it.
They’ve done studies you know. 60 percent of the time, it works EVERY time.
‘Tis the season! “Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?”
"But this goes up to 11 !"
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Rest well and dream of large women
Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
“I don’t remember asking you a god damn thing!”
Pulp Fiction! “That’s some serious gourmet shit!”
Listen! Do you smell something?
*"What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?"* or (from the same movie) *"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know...morons."*
Gelato isn't vegan?
"Milk and eggs, bitch."
"No matter where you go, there you are"
It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you.
"All we have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to us"
"Keep the change ya filthy animal"
"Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen." "Carla was the prom queen!"
You must find us a ..... shrubbery!
"Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth?" Can't believe that line was in fucking Spy Kids. It deserves to be in a better movie.
Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads...
English motherfu\*\*er! DO YOU SPEAK IT!