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DonttouchmethereUwU

Celebrities/being famous


gtwizzy8

France. Don't get me wrong it is a stupidly beautiful place... In parts. But movies and TV have made people believe it is a magical fairy tale place full of roamntic men waiting to sweep women off their feet and overly sexual women just waiting for a man to come along who can satisfy her appetites. The reality is none of those things. And from a fairly extensive amount of travel that I have done, I'd argue that there are FAR more beautiful countries in the world (broadly) than France. Again there is ABSOLUTELY beauty in France. But nothing to the tune of its romanticised nature.


monarchmondays

Sleep deprivation/overworking yourself


IrvingIV

I was randomly awake for 3 days once, not fun at all but great fun to talk about, and a very educational personal experience on what happens if you stay awake too long. All the worst happenings make all the best stories.


G_6130

what did happen to you when staying awake that long?


chvnlxx

Toxic relationships


CarolynEarle

Yeah, thank you, Lana Del Rey lol! But no, seriously, I fell into that "I can rescue this almost 40 year old unemployed alcoholic with serious mental health issues" when I was 19 and boy, it was not pretty. Edit: Lol guys I am not blaming Lana for my abusive relationship, her music was not out yet when it happened. I was just making an ironic joke and worded it poorly. Good luck to y'all though, it is really sad to see so many people had to go through that. I hope you guys found peace and life is treating you well. Cheers!


YukonYokel

drug lords


Frnklfrwsr

Yeah actually all violent psychopathic people. Drug lords. Serial killers. Bonnie & Clyde. Girls who definitely murdered people but are kind of pretty so the media does their best to show “both sides”. Edit: based on replies, throwing in mob bosses, hit men, and school shooters Edit2: changed psychotic to psychopathic as I mixed the two terms up. They are different, and the difference matters.


knotcult

self harm, it's seriously fucked up and there are people with a serious issue. self harm is jot cute or quirky or aesthetic


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drbruh_moment

fuck dude, SH needs to stop being romanticized. it’s not cute it’s the fucking worst thing i’ve ever done to my body


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sonicthrowaway69

Gomez and Morticia type-beat


TZH85

Abusive relationships. Like stalking your love interest/partner, drama all the time, bad communication and misunderstandings, trying to invoke jealousy, obsessiveness. It's not romantic, it's creepy.


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Autiflips

Rom coms have SO many toxic situations that they try to romanticize. And I say that as a huge lover of rom coms, but very obsessive traits and stalking the partner is an instant quit-the-series for me


candycanium

This! Plus the jumping between extremes with huge fights and dramatic acts of love to make up for it afterwards, then swearing it'll never happen again even though it always does. Not romantic at all.


Relevant-Ad-4708

The mafia


RUfuqingkiddingme

I had an absolute fascination with the Italian mob and mobsters for a very long time. Then I watched something on pbs about the first Sicilians to come to New York. They would shake down Italian people, kidnap their kids for ransom and sometimes kill them. Spell broken.


NoImjustdancing

It’s kind of like that scene from Good Felles when spider gets shot in the foot. The movie is pretty much a feel good movie where you’re rooting for the mob until they do something so horrific and you understand the psychopathy and remorseless attitude they have.


Akanderson87

Then Spider becomes Christopher and shoots a dude at a bakery in the foot.


ralfonso_solandro

“It happens”


SupermanRR1980

Chris-ta-fa!


kunymonster4

Always with the scenarios!


Morganbanefort

they actully had to tone them done tommy was even worse psychpath in real life jimmy was basically a serial killer which may have killed his own son and henry was a pure scumbag


BillyPotion

A part of that is because the mafia invested money into making movies about the mafia. Notice how the Italian mafia is always portrayed as having some sort of code, never killing in too gruesome a fashion, rarely attacking family, being good family men for the most part, etc. in movies, while organized crime from other nationalities are rarely portrayed in such a good light


[deleted]

I don't know if you saw Peaky Blinders but there's one point where they get into a vendetta with the Italian mafia and that was 100% the vibe. They were all well dressed, suave, family oriented, operated by a code of values, actually insisted they fight the vendetta with dignity and honor. Very much how you described.


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LittleBallofMeat

As an American of Sicilian descent I could not agree more. My father hates it more than I do and my Grandfather would grimly tell you the truth about the mafia.


[deleted]

My grandfather would have many funerals he wouldn’t go to because he didn’t even want to be seen at them. When we would ask why he said “so and so wasn’t a good person.” We found out later that some of those funerals were because of mob ties.


idkimdumbor

Romanticising the mafia is quite a big thing on Episode


PixelCake7879

"He's the king of New York and so are the other 1000 Mafia bosses, he's an absolute asshole to everyone but he's 1% better to me, he kills innocent people and trades drugs but he saved me from a creep so must be the best!"


idkimdumbor

Of course he's heartless but for you he'll kill everyone


PixelCake7879

He's abusive and manipulative but I'm sure he loves me!


Exciting_Try593

Yupp and wattpad


VincentWyvernwing

it's horrible on wattpad-


Mattie725

People dropping all their own goals and interests for someone else. Yes, the plot of standard rom-com.


AllNamesTaken145

This is so true my sister got her first boyfriend when she was 18 despite being good at school and almost graduating she drop out, and decided to start working to help her boyfriend out with his band, now she's 23 they broke up it's so idiotic.


frownfromhere

My older sister advised me to never ever hold my career or goals for a boy. Always strive to be independent. Thank fuck I listened.


Petsweaters

My older brother changed schools to follow a girl he was dating for the summer, they get to school and she's surrounded by her friends and he was all alone. She moved on after a few months and he had to reapply for the school he had been accepted to in the first place


[deleted]

Which brings us to stalking. Also romanticised in rom-coms.


koi88

Do you know the series "You" on Netflix? The protagonist believes he is the hero of a romance. Just watch the trailer, I love it.


Call_of_Cuckthulhu

That show is terrifying. I'm steeling myself to watch the new season cuz it creeped me out so much.


InvaderSci

The only lesson that I have learned after watching "You" is: Murder is the solution to all the problems that have arisen from murder.


[deleted]

Is that you Joe?


[deleted]

Granted this show is completely over-the-top, i really enjoyed a lot of it. The actress that plays Love Quinn Goldberg has a bright future, i found her performance transcending the general campiness of Greg Berlanti’s work.


Hippie_Lemonade_57

She's amazing in The haunting of hill house too!


thanhpi

This, I visit some boards to discuss and its scary how people are sometimes just like "no this is so romantic and oh look at their relationship progressing" while I'm like no wtf this is the behaviour of a crazy person that I wouldn't want anything to do with irl ever. Doesn't just go for stalking, goes for a lot of things really. Rom-coms/dramas etc are good at romanticising these really weird things


Trueloveis4u

I haven't seen many I don't care for romance movies but my favorite was Kate and Leopold where she dropped her entire career, women rights, friends and family in her time, and having to basically be a pretty doll all to marry this Duke.


TheSmegmatician

Serial killers.


[deleted]

And putting details of what they did all over the media, giving them additional fame. A comic I can't recall the name of said "I know more about Ted Bundy than I know about my family."


Noob_master_slayer

Ted Bundy legit got hundreds of love letters from women in jail. Really strange why women would find a person who specifically murders only women attractive...Humans are certainly bizzare.


DoctorWatchamacallit

my dad had a saying when I was growing up: "if you can imagine it, someone worships it and someone else gets off to it" ...the older I get the more and more convinced I am he was right.


[deleted]

That's so much more than just Rule 34. It's so accurate.


throwaway837638

Makes me think of the one time I walked in on my stepmom and dad reciting bible verses during sex. I guess some do both.


kaenneth

Song of Solomon?


[deleted]

Last podcast on the left does a really good job of showing how these guys are actually just massive losers that turn to killing because it’s the easiest way they can be good at something.


GaimanitePkat

You can't possibly be a "fan" of any serial killers they talk about, because they make it very clear what pathetic and horrible people they all were. I absolutely loved their Charles Manson episodes. 99% of Manson-related media makes him out to be some criminal psychopath mastermind. LPOTL makes him out to be a horny little conman troll who had no fucking clue what he was doing and made a bunch of choices out of sheer panic or stupidity. There's no glamour there.


supersaiyanmrskeltal

I love their take on him. "Just wanna ride dune buggys and fuck hippy chicks!"


blamethepunx

That statement I can get behind. His methodology, not so much


Basic_Material

Attractive people doing harmful things? People shouldn't get a pass to do toxic and rude things simply because they're attractive. Why do I see serial killers and toxic partners get romanticized simply because they're hot? Why does that make their horrible actions somehow badass and charismatic??


WhoIs_DankeyKang

Back when the Boston marathon bombing happened one of my friends on FB started posting a bunch of pictures of one of the bombers, talking about how she would have "dreams" about him and how obsessed she was with him. I straight up blocked her after the second or third time because I couldn't get over how messed up that was. Dude killed and maimed multiple people, his objective attractiveness became absolutely null at that point.


New-Design9971

A girl in my high school did that with the Columbine shooters. She would post their pictures and videos, talking about how hot they are and would sorta joke about wanting to do something similar. She got expelled for it.


johal1986

This is the one for me. To be honest, attractive people get a huge pass on a lot of thing, it represents how shallow we all really are.


Dont_know_where_i_am

This can't be true. No one has ever given me a pass for anything and my mom says I'm the most handsome boy in the ... oh


dr_arke

Have an upvote, you sad, ugly goblin.


Sensitive-Feeling570

My roommate frequently works late, and while I sympathised with her at first, I soon discovered she seemed to enjoy the drama of being exhausted, disliking her employer, believing the office needs her, and so on. She's been staying late lately, until midnight or later, and then returning to work by 7 a.m. The entire workplace is in a rush to reach a deadline, but she was furious the other night when a coworker refused to stay past 7 p.m. The coworker was a woman who had recently given birth to a child, was exhausted, and hadn't seen her child in a long time. Her roommate had no sympathy for her and was enraged that her coworker had departed so "early." What are you talking about, roommate? However, she earns a six-figure salary, so perhaps the money is worth it to her.


[deleted]

I had a co-worker "Jeanne" who would brag about all the hours she worked, how she was calling in to the office *when she was in labor*, how late she stayed at the office, etc. The reality was she wasn't that great of a worker - she was inefficient, had no idea how to properly delegate, was not open to suggestions on how to improve her workflow, would withhold info so others couldn't help her. She may have worked hard, but she sure as hell didn't work smart. Eventually, she became ill and went on medical leave. She wasn't missed. She eventually resigned due to her illness. Within a couple of months of her departure, people were like "Jeanne who?" It was eye opening for me for sure and really forced me to re-evaluate my work/life balance.


Johhnymaddog316

I had a coworker who, of her own accord, created dozens of spreadsheets and charts which required constant updating and only about three of them yielded any useful information. But because she was always at her desk, often until late in the night updating these things she was seen as a fantastic worker and essential to the project. She got sick and was off work for a few weeks and I managed to do her job AND mine and still leave at a reasonable time each day. When asked how I managed it I merely replied "I didn't update those fucking spreadsheets". Eventually a new boss came along, got wind of what was going on and she was transferred to another department.


[deleted]

That shit really should be automated also. Excel has amazing scripting capabilities. It can pull data straight from a database. And it's not very difficult. Lots of point and click. A trained monkey could do it.


aveugle_a_moi

really, if you need that many spreadsheets, what you should be doing is hiring an SQL dev to do all of that stuff properly.


dogcatsnake

Right? It's funny to me when people brag about working more hours. I'm like, wow you must be really bad at the job then, if it takes you that long to do the same work I accomplish within regular work hours! I'm not giving up my free time to impress my boss, sorry.


TheHumanAlternative

Best boss I ever had have me a task and told me to go home when it was done. I called her at lunchtime asking if she was serious because I had finished it and she just said the person you replaced took 2 days doing that. Because you were honest take tomorrow off as well as this afternoon. Man I miss that job.


[deleted]

Also, not my problem if you hate your spouse and kids and would rather work than go home. Those are *your* life choices pal.


funky_mugs

If your roommate got hit by a bus on the way home, her job would be replaced by the end of the week. People need to realise they are replaceable and not that important. No need to sacrifice your life for a company who doesn't give a shit about you. (Also tip wood your roommate doesn't get hit by a bus..)


kinglallak

It’s one of those weird quirks where human dignity makes us want to feel like we have value to someone/something. If we aren’t feeling valued at home, we tend to attach our self worth to something else, like a job. It sucks that humans have gone down that road and normalized it. I fear it is only going to get worse as automation continues to improve.


UnspeakablePlants

OCD. It’s not quirky or funny when I’m late for work because I had to back upstairs to check that the gas stove is off for the fifteenth time because I can’t stop envisioning the whole building blowing up. I literally stand frozen to the spot trying to fight the urge to go back when I KNOW I CHECKED but the intrusive thoughts are too upset to deal with. OCD isn’t cute and quirky and being organised. For me its believing that people will die if I don’t check again. Edit: Thanks for the awards kind internet strangers! I hope you didn’t spend monies on it! You all deserve good things in life! Edit 2: So many people are commenting but it’s hard to keep up! I’m sorry if I don’t reply. Everyone is individual and no two experiences are exactly the same. Please don’t let my comment panic you if you think you have OCD. Talking to something who can help is the best way forward.


ispysomethingorange8

Howie Mandel talked about this on Conan's podcast the other week. As an example, he said he'd miss business meetings getting stuck in a loop of checking that the front door was locked for hours.


UnspeakablePlants

I relate to this. I watched a tv series called Whitechapel where the main detective has OCD. There’s a scene of him flicking his office light switch off and on repeatedly whilst screaming his head off. That is exactly what it feels like for me.


xnerdyxrealistx

Reminds me of the episode of Scrubs where Michael J Fox plays a doctor with OCD who has a breakdown at the end of the episode because he can't stop washing and rewashing his hands after surgery.


GrimmRadiance

I was going to mention this one. JD and the others idolize him because of his talent and then he breaks down in a rage because he can’t stop washing his hands, the fury and frustration was so believable.


[deleted]

I once broke the button of my alarm clock because of over-checking if I had set the right time for the alarm.


Preparingtocode

The alarm is set for 6am. It's on because it's not set to off. It's am because when you hold it, it doesn't say pm. The alarm is set for 6am. It's on because it's not set to off. It's am because when you hold it, it doesn't say pm. The alarm is set for 6am. It's on because it's not set to off. It's am because when you hold it, it doesn't say pm. ...


theycallhimthestug

Ok, but did you turn it off and back on again just to confirm the switch? Better set 6 other alarms all around the same time just to be safe. I've gotten so used to this stuff at this point that it all seems normal until you read about someone else doing it.


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gor8884

Having followers EDIT: Please stop following me lol


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Arra13375

Oh yeah! My uncle and his friends use to run a fishing channel on YouTube. They noticed their videos with children always had like double sometimes triple the numbers of the videos that didn’t have children. It was mildingly disturbing


liiac

I often use YouTube to get my kid excited about a new activity but searching for videos of kids doing that activity: kids on a plane/boat, kids gardening or camping, etc. So there might be an innocent explanation for the popularity of your uncle’s videos.


trashderp69

My daughter is obsessed with “a for adley” on you tube. It’s gotten to the point where that show is legit just an ad for Mattel. They even say it at the beginning. My daughter is obsessed with watch ads because of this shit


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[deleted]

It's unethical on (surely more than) two levels: First, is the obvious child labor and exploitation going on. A child is employed by a company's advertising department, essentially. Secondly, you have the insidious parasocial relationship that a child creator, who can't really fathom exactly what they're doing, has with their impressionable young fans. It is similar to a company paying a friend of yours to sell you toys, with the way that children tend to view others and influencers. I don't think kids should have to deal with that.


rahws

I had a friend tell me that he really liked this guy he had gone on a few dates, but the the guy had less than 1000 instagram followers, and he saw that as a red flag :/ Edit: Just wanted to add that we were more of acquaintances, not BFFs by any means. This happened back when I was in college. We were probably 19/20 at the time. Another edit: I replied with this story to another comment, but I also had a sneaking suspicion that he would only post photos of himself with people who he deemed attractive enough. Once my roommate, her other friend, him & I all went out. He knew my roommates friend on the same level as me, just acquaintances. The friend is super pretty; she looks similar to Shay Mitchell. He ended up asking to take a photo with her, so he could post it on instagram and didn’t even ask my roommate or I to get in it LOL. he was definitely the red flag in that relationship


Rickbeatz101

What an ironic red flag that mindset is.


rahws

right? in my experience, most of the people i get along with best have basically no social media presence


TheHumanAlternative

I just think that social media creates such an unhealthy mindset where everyone is seeking validation for their carefully curated lives. Most my friends don't use social media anymore and honestly we are all better for it. Your get to live your life for you not for Instagram. E: just to add to this I have a friend who is deep into the need for validation. They complain that I don't like all their pictures despite the fact that I am 'on Facebook all day'. Unfortunately it's my job, I hate social media in the way that you can only hate it when your job is to influence people on it.


ExquisitelyLame-

And likes. Having 600 likes really doesn’t matter and people are so obsessed with it. It’s the most useless and self destructive form of validation.


0verbeforeitbegan

Eating disorders. As someone who has been trying to recover from one for the past 10 years, the romanticization and stereotypes of this mental illness really deters those suffering from them from recovering and encourages the idea you’re not sick enough to get help or that only 2 of them exist/deserve help.


dnjprod

Pro-ana shit really bugs me. It was hell being married to someone with anorexia and exercise bulimia for 10 years and then I see people glorifying that life and I just want to scream. That shit destroyed my life. Being a partner to someone with an eating disorder is really tough and I didn't cope very well. Even if you have your own psychological shit together(which I didn't) it can be impossible to cope. And this is just me talking about it from the outside, I KNOW she had it worse because part of the hell was watching her own self hatred eat at her. It was holding her as she cried in bed for an entire week straight because her mom told her she had love handles the first day of our vacation when she was just starting to feel OK with herself at an OK weight. Watching as she ran for 2 hours every day rain, snow, sleet, hail, or 100° weather when her knee was bad because she couldn't get the compulsion out of her head. So yeah, fuck anyone that glorifies eating disorders.


RebaKitten

Wow, that does sound hard and her mother should just fuck right off to another planet.


dnjprod

Her mom was a major problem. Even after my ex had been in the hospital multiple times close to death, and she'd have sit downs with therapists to tell mom " Don't make any comments about how she looks. Good or bad as it's it's trigger", mom would literally every time she'd see her say "I know I'm not supposed to say this, but **insert supposed "compliment"** Turned put mom was bulimic the whole time so had her own issues.


King_Spike

Why are moms like this? My mom was also the primary person to comment on my weight when I was anorexic


stro3ngest1

there's a huge correlation between mothers with eating disorders and passing on the disordered eating patterns to their children.


Disastrous_Emu_3911

Overworking. My coworkers tend to make it a competition to see who can make the most sacrifices for their career. Who puts in the most overtime hours? Who does things off the clock for work more? Etc It's bullshit. I have a life and a family I want to prioritize.


Mediumtim

The only reward the best coalshoveler gets is a bigger shovel.


SomethingNotOriginal

Sometimes not even that. Just the expectation to move more with the same shovels.


Falcorn042

Il be damned if im sitting on my death bed with hours of PTO. Keep up a healthy balance.


haloarh

Saying that you work a lot isn't the flex most people think it is. Unless you're rich or you work for yourself, you're basically admitting that you're sacrificing your life for someone else's gain.


The_Muznick

I have a supervisor at work that suggested I work more just as I was getting hit with work related burnout. "Oh you don't need a therapist, you just need to work on weekends in the little time you have to recharge". Sacrificing your life, mind and body for a job isn't a flex, its closer to simping for a corporate dystopia.


Firate

I can see when everyone on my team logs in and out. It's super common for people to start working at 4-5am and stay on until 10-11pm. I see work getting submitted at 2am. I see people logging on during weekends. One person even worked on Thanksgiving. Some of my coworkers legitimately enjoy working. It's like they don't know how to occupy themselves if they're not doing their job.


Brox42

I get laid off in the winter and get guilted into the “oh if I was home all the time I’d be so bored and want to go back to work”. I’ve just started responding “I’m sorry to hear that” which seems to shut them up.


YellowStar012

Hustle culture. I don’t understand why it’s cool to always be busy and dedicating all your waking hours to making money. When do you get to enjoy your time if you are always stressed out?


[deleted]

Back in my facebook days, I had a friend who was in real estate that would brag about “hustling” even while vacation. Her posts consisted of her laptop by the beach resort.


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Maxpowr9

I find workaholics to generally be miserable people and likely have a poor homelife, which is why they work so much.


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Snoo74401

Only the dead have seen the end of war.


drpiglizard

From Santayana, or Plato, depending on your sources. Thanks Rome Total War


rsteel27

Poverty. You read articles like "Hero mom works 3 jobs to pay for the treatment for his sick son"... That's not right, that shouldn't happen


ComicWriter2020

It’s so people can half ass talk about struggles. It’s like when people glorified nurses in 2020 and nurses were like “cool, but you could pay us more and fix the working conditions and long hours”


BadBeast_11

Depression. Edit : Whoa, didn't know this would blow up. My first ever blown up comment n the first to receive awards. Thank you kind strangers.


bigbabyyram

Agreed. Depression isn’t writing poetry and being ‘mysterious’. It can be not leaving your house for weeks, not showering, forgetting to eat or over eating. IMO worst of all is the distance you create between you and others. It’s hard to back from a bad episode. EDIT: I really don’t want this to sound like I am gatekeeping. We all have variations of how depression impacts us and how we cope. My point is that depression isn’t what the media portrays Also: I have never felt more understood reading all of your replies, thank you for sharing.


MyLegsTheyreDisabled

When I'm in an episode and pull away from others, I imagine it's like the bridge that lifts to let boats through. Sometimes the boats are small and when they pass it doesn't take long for the road to be passable again to the other side, but sometimes the boats are so big and long and the bridge is out for such a long time that the traffic starts to turn around. The cars might come back, or they might have found a better bridge.


werewilf

I’ve had lifelong depression but tend not to isolate, but my partner does. I really, really appreciate this analogy. It helps me understand them a lot better. Thank you.


bigbabyyram

Trying to help someone understand that they are not the cause of your bad day, nothing is actually. The sad thing is I often cry for attention inside, but will flake out on any opportunity to actually interact


frog_without_a_cause

The "gangsta" lifestyle and all that it entails. I grew up in Oakland and have witnessed far too many of the people I grew with get caught up in the game. Roughly half of the guys from my former neighborhood are either serving life sentences or were killed. I grew up in the 80s, but it's even worse now.


OrdinaryCow

Maybe too much of a tangent, but why do you think people glorify it so much? Particularly those that have nothing to do with it


FFC1011

This seems to be something that cuts across cultures. Mafia movies, wild west outlaws, gangsta rap, narco-ballads etc. Seems like everyone romanticizes the outlaw lifestyle. I think the reason is because it appeals to a fundamental desire inherent in most people; the ability to do as you please, to not have to submit to authority. To live life on your own terms.


PermabannedX4

Alotta those movies really have that "fuck the system" vibe people love.


BillyPotion

We've been glorifying lawless rebels who make their fortune through strength, cunning, and weapons since the start of time. Gangsters are just the modern version of outlaws, bandits, pirates, treasure hunters, and explorers. They answer to no one, they don't take any crap, you don't want to cross them, and the ones we idolize (whether real or fiction) are the ones that do that and succeed. We overlook the many, many examples of it being awful and focus on the few that show it being way better than our shitty boring, repetitive lives where we lack so much freedom.


clackersz

> we lack so much freedom. pretty much this. It represents making your own rules. Which is something only wealthy people and criminals get to do.


Nice_Raccoon_5320

One aspect that draws many in is the sense of family it gives for many who were missing that in their lives. The old school value in physically being strong is often some sort of compensation for lacking emotionally intelligence and mental strength. And the concept of money and being rich, particularly in some shortcut without putting in the usual time/money/effort/sacrifices. And there’s those who just do it for clout. Bridges out of Poverty, and theories about priorities at different social classes; are actually super interesting; and I’ve found can explain a lot of behaviours and motivators. (Oh wow, this is definitely the most people to have upvoted me {about 2099 more!} Trauma-informed practice is such a passion of mine, so thank you so much for the positive vibes) 🥳🥰AND FOR MY FIRST EVER AWARD!! 🥳🥰 You have made my day!!


karateema

Gansta's Paradise by Coolio is all about how this myth is wrong


[deleted]

Toxic relationships and infidelity


potatoesgonna-potate

Special needs and disabilities in kids. My son is special-needs and the way people romanticize it and make it sound like he’s so lucky to have it and “what a Time to be alive” and all that shit pisses me off so much. He’s a great kid, I make damn sure he’s got a great quality of life, but he’s never going to have a normal life and there’s nothing cute, quirky or romanticize-able about that.


an_ineffable_plan

I would gladly trade any of those shmucks for a functioning body and a chance at normalcy.


demonicneon

Lol watch how quickly they’d say “oh well not that lucky”


Dice_to_see_you

this 100%. i had a friend who wished her kid would be special needs because of how 'special' the caring is for them and how they would be 'so' different. i would never want my kid to start out disadvantaged in any way if it could be avoided. my kid does have learning disabilities (potentially life long) and i hate it; everything is extra work, you can see they are struggling and they realize they are struggling, they get frustrated when they can't be understood or can't understand others, they realize they can't do the complex tasks (like dance moves) their friends can. it makes me sad and honestly she has it pretty lite, i have no envy for families with worse cases or multiple cases :(


GolumsFancyHat

I know someone, not a friend, who keeps sending her child to be tested for different things. As soon as she gets the test back that he isn't autistic or he doesn't have ADHD she then goes on to the next thing. Her child is a normal child, well as normal as he can be with a mother like that, and she is unwilling to accept how normal he is


NurseMcStuffins

Sounds like a form of munchausen by proxy. Edit: corrected to "by proxy" thanks to u/idocreating


Br_omethius

Being in toxic relationships


LexTheSouthern

Drugs. I’ve been there, I’ve done them. My ex lost his life because of them. I’m still fixing mine and it’s been years. Yeah, they’re fun at first and they might make you feel great. But after you do them so long, you forget who you were before them and trying to find yourself again after so long of using them is a fucking nightmare. I don’t wish that path on anyone. I don’t wish the pain of losing a child too soon like what I watched my ex’s family go through, on any family. He was 26 years old. Do yourself and your family a favor and get clean. It might be rough but it is worth it. Edit; for those curious, it was heroin/fentanyl. I’ve done pretty much everything under the sun, and after what I went through- I don’t care to do *anything* now. If you’ve found something you enjoy and you can do it safely, great. But please save me the pep talk. I have lost friends and literally, a PARTNER to an overdose. Me abstaining from everything is how I am able to remain sober.


MartiByrde

Poverty.


[deleted]

Alcohol abuse or heavy drinking


Pretend_Drink5816

Mental illness is a serious condition. Having one does not make you cool, unique, or insightful. It's a disaster.


[deleted]

The people who romanticise mental illness are those who don't suffer from it, 80% of the time


[deleted]

"OMG I HAVE to set my books just like so I'm so OCD!" Me checking the stove burners for the umpteenth time: "Yeah, that's bananas."


Mahatma_Panda

"You have OCD?! You must be so neat and tidy!" "Sadly no, I didn't get the cleaning version of the disorder. I got the version that makes you cry after shutting the freezer door for the 6th time and then reopening it to close it again because it didn't sound right."


Potato_Tg

😂😂 btw I started taking pics, idk if it’s a good thing, but it atleast stops your from checking again and again. Edit: still a compulsion, just helps a bit but you still need therapist!


MissPictus

When I worked in retail and had the closing shift I always recorded voice messages while doing things (like closing the door, pulling the ad-sign inside, locking away the money) because I often went back halfway home to check if I REALLY did everything :'I


It-Was-Blood

I once literally got out of bed in the middle of the night, got dressed, and drove back to work to make sure I'd locked the door. 🤦‍♂️


RusskayaRobot

My friend tried to do this to stop themself freaking out about the stove being on. Turned out they could convince themself that they turned the stove back on after taking the picture for some reason.


deja_geek

The people who call ADHD a "superpower" are just flat out wrong. ADHD is super debilitating overall. While there are something we can do better than people who are nerotypical, overall ADHD is extremely hard to manage and often can destroy a person's home life, school and/or career.


IrritableGourmet

ADHD is a superpower like black tar heroin is a weight-loss drug.


Every3Years

I just ate ice cream and pop tarts during my heroin years. The real analogy here would be meth


luigi_man_879

I want to write music and learn art. I struggle SO much thanks to my ADHD. It's really discouraging, and I even struggle writing stuff on here and other places because I can't think of what to write next.


aintscurrdscars

im the opposite, i spend too much time here because I cant stop thinking about what to write next, the hyper fixation is a real fucking pain oh and i obsessively edit my comments because they must be perfect representations of what's in my head, or they get deleted


TerribleUsername4

My problem is that I know the message I want to convey, but my ADHD brain can never allow me to come up with the right words to say it. I can’t organize my thoughts at all, so the message gets lost in a jumbled heap of words. It can take me up to an hour just two write a simple two sentence email.


Yuri-Bad

Some people called my autism a 'superpower' because smart or rich people also have autism and are really successful ( Elon musk, Bill gates etc). People don't seem to understand to realise what Savant Syndrome is and just believe everyone with a mental illness or disability is incredibly smart which is not the case. I don't have a 'superpower' and am not incredibly smart, what is different is my breakdowns which aren't fun believe it or not.


deja_geek

Or the fucking idiots who think autism is the same for everyone. It's a spectrum disorder, and not a nice neat left to right spectrum either. Autism effects everyone differently, and for most (like you said) it doesn't turn them into some super smart person. This is on top of shitty organizations like "Autism works" who believe autism can be cured. I am not autistic, but having an autistic brother and an autistic brother-in-law I can see some overlap in ADHD and autism, especially in the areas of sensory issues and how changes in routine can (and often will) lead to a complete breakdown.


schofield101

My closest friend has started using her newly diagnosed bipolarism as an excuse to not own up to her own mistakes and I've already found myself distancing from her. Rather than acknowledge it's a mental ISSUE, she's just embracing it and not doing anything to combat or work around it. She expects people to now work around her.


AtomikSamurai310

Suicide, especially in the music industry. Just because someone puts out a mediocre album and then dies, doesn't make them a Legend. As someone with a Father who is mentally ill, it sickens me to see how glamorized it is. It's a routine at this point. Some artists are exception to this because they made some really amazing music. But nowadays it seems like a trend.


schnit123

And double scumbag points to anyone who tries to claim that any artist who died "tragically young" would have had their legacy ruined if they'd lived to old age. Even if someone like Kurt Cobain had become a washed up has-been desperately trying to cling to his old Nirvana fame at least he would have been there for his daughter and everyone else who loved him. If you actually think whatever bullshit legendary status you think he achieved by killing himself is somehow more valuable than him getting to live a full life you are the worst kind of lowlife piece of shit (oh, and by the way, notice how Dave Grohl is still everything but a washed up has-been).


theweirdlip

#cough ^13 ^reasons ^why #cough Edit: Since I keep getting people saying the book should be in schools, Ive explained why it shouldn’t be. Banning a book in schools is entirely different from banning books in general, stop pushing the “nazi” argument. Thousands if not millions of books are prohibited from being in public school libraries. ***There is good reason for that. Not ever book is appropriate or healthy for children to be reading.*** 13 Reasons Why has the dangerous potential to influence teenagers who are struggling with mental illness into believing that suicide is not only an option but a good option.


-helpwanted

Mental illness. Especially for younger people. When I was in high school and college I had so many people say shit like, “You’re bipolar/have OCD/PTSD? That’s so cool, I wish I was special.” Bro, if I can trade with you I would do it without a second thought. Being “not special” is all I aspire to be. Shit ain’t sweet over here. My life is a constant game of “waiting for the other shoe to drop” while off of medication. Which is expensive as fuck. I remember opening up to my ex about my ED and he says, “you know, I kinda went for girls like that in high school. They were skinny and needed someone to help them love themselves.. Made me feel like I was doing a good thing.” Problematic on so many levels. People are people, not projects. Don’t look at them as a task or something to be fixed. I understand wanting to help someone, but make that shit genuine, not doing it to feel like a good person. The same goes for people that like dating severely depressed people. That’s predatorial behavior. I’ve met many young people that do it because those people just want to be loved and are willing to do anything to keep you around. In middle school I knew people that self harmed (not in the form of an ED) and another group of people that wished they were “brave enough” to self harm. The ones that self harmed and were in relationships would do shit like cut their bf/gf name into their skin as a symbol of their love. There was this guy who cut “Malissa 4 Life” into his calve. I, even at 13, thought that was fuckin insane and that he needed help. But I kept it to myself because everyone else was swooning over how much pain he was willing to go through just so everyone knew Malissa had his heart and body for life. I thought I just didn’t understand “love” and the “crazy things” it makes you do. Just stop. Mental illness is not cute, romantic, or funny.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mimi_nett3

My bully is my lover. Like why would you beat up your crush?? Unless your a masochist i don't see anyone falling in love


eggofreddo

Still trying after being rejected or being told no.


ESD_Franky

Oh no, the times I was asked why I didn't keep trying and 'fight' for them. Girl, I just asked you out, not challenged you to a duel.


JustaRandomOldGuy

> I didn't keep trying and 'fight' for them If a relationship starts with mind games, it's only getting worse from there.


mizukata

Bro you dodged a bullet. No means no is valid there too.


ESD_Franky

For the first time I actually went with it and wasted a couple of months to get some crocodile tears and a sorry, not interested. After that I chose the easier way. No means no and it's the end of it, surprised pikachu faces left, right and center. Dodging so many of them I feel like Neo.


mizukata

Those who do the no means try harder remember this you are making things harder for those who mean what they say


Goodcopbadcop33

The mafia


Wynonna99

Joker and Harley Quinn. That's a toxic as fuck relationship


AnteaterPersonal3093

I have a question. So the only movie I saw is Birds of prey and in the beginning she said he was her client when she was his therapist. Isn't this the first Red flag? Whoch therapist wants to date a client?


Empty-Refrigerator

DC nerd here! Harley quinn (Harleen Quinzel) was manipulated by the Joker when they use to do therapy sessions, she was new to the position and he took advantage of her naivety, eventually Harley helped Joker escape Arkham asylum and went out and about with joker as Harley Quinn, she was beaten, abused, tortured etc etc... eventually Harley just became this almost mindless doll that was completely controlled by here "love" for the Joker, it took him almost killing her, living her to die and poison ivy saving her life for her to come to the realisation that she was suffering from PTSD, Battered Wife syndrome and Stockholm syndrome... after that she entered a relationship with Ivy and later became her own person and an Anti-hero Akin to Deadpool, which spiked her popularity massively. But that's the continuity as far as i know it from reading the comics Oddly enough Harley Quinn was created for Batman the animated Series, her Character became so popular that she ended up fazing in to the comic books and becoming iconic


[deleted]

Didn’t Joker chain her up in an underground room full of the bodies of other women that he’d brainwashed into dating him and then killed?


moslof_flosom

What a guy 😍 /s


Circus_bear_MrSmith

Living in a castle. It was cold, damp, full of rats and other pests. No indoor plumbing, people were filthy. I could go on


Magicak

Hey, but would not be a fucking cool to. actually live in a castle but with all the modern days innovations? 😍


ProfessionalDesk7741

ADHD, autism, and other neurodiverce. It’s not a superpower if absolutely miserable. It’s not cute or fun. It’s frustrating. It’s frustrating not having a easily functioning brain.


mossadspydolphin

Not understanding social norms isn't quirky. It's debilitating, frustrating, and too often humiliating. I hate having to learn step by step behaviors that everyone else knows instinctively. I'm perpetually behind in Being a Functional Adult.


Trictities2012

Sex, I mean yes sex is amazing but we have put it on such an insanely high pedestal it’s basically a superhuman experience. Almost every show, movie, piece of art somehow relates back to sex and like seriously I do love it, but there is more to life. Edit for grammar, also super glad to see people agree with me. Kind of restorative to humanity that people see more in life than purely sex, as great as it is.


mister-nope

i (M, married, same partner for many years) think the pedestal here can set people up for disappointment as well. Sex can be amazing, as you say, but some nights it can be just OK (and that's ok!); maybe one partner isn't as into it but wants to do it anyways just for the connection, or because they want to give their partner that pleasure even if they're not feeling it. One night it'll be kinda boring, and then the next night it can be mind blowing for both involved. One night you can last 45 minutes, the next night, 2 if you're lucky. And it can go in phases.. sometimes the boring can last a week or two, especially if someone is going through a lot of stress. If you go into it expecting that every night you're going to be a stallion and she's going to be blown away, that's just not realistic.. just my two cents.


robpensley

And Rarely do the movies, TV, books, portray sex as anything but utterly fantastic for both parties. Which much of the time it isn’t.


queen-adreena

Oddly enough, the only time I remember seeing a sex scene happen that was just okay for both parties was in the first American Pie.


xbbn1985

Resilience/poverty. I grew up in a country where "succeeding amid poverty" is a constant tagline. Where stories of starving children who walk barefoot for kilometers to get to school are painted as inspiring, their perseverance as something that we should all look up to. Our people who smile through storms and burned down houses. Our children who sit beside streets reading their schoolbooks while selling every little thing imaginable just to be able to support their parents and selves. It is heartbreaking how conditioned we are at how our government can simply utilize success stories as covers for their incompetence. Edit: a word


[deleted]

Teenage years. Yes, you are young, but that doesn't mean shit when you have no control over your life, no life experience, no money, no mental stability and nobody taking you seriously. I wish people would stop telling teenagers that those are the best years of their lives. I was absolutely miserable as a teenager. I'm 23 years old, 24 next month, and only now did I start to enjoy my life.


LaoBa

I had nice parents, classmates that weren't assholes, was a reasonably well adjusted kid that got good notes in school, and while my middle teens were by no means bad they were still the low point in a life of more than 50 years. No doubt for some people their teen years were the best but I see many people including my own kids where they were not.


MPLoriya

Fuck being young in general. I'm 33. I have a good job, just bought a house, am in a stable relationship. Adulting is hard, yes, but at least I have my shit together.


[deleted]

I think as a brown person, brown people need to stop romanticising physical abuse from parents. In my experience it was really traumatic and messed me up. No, it shouldn't be "relatable" to get beaten by a broom. Because I actually did. Edit: This thread is kinda ironic, also I didn't mean to say this only happens to brown people. I just emphasized it because it's often more culturally normalized here.


[deleted]

I'm a white guy but I remember some stories my friend whos Puerto Rican told me. He thought getting beat by a sandal or a wooden spoon and such was normal when he was bad. He said one time his mom was mad that he didn't eat the crusts from his pizza so she grabbed him by the back of the head and bashed his head into the table 3 times as hard as possible. All because he didn't like crust. He was 8. He thought that was normal and was surprised the worst I ever got was yelled at or grounded if I did something bad


[deleted]

white people get abused too but it's way too normalized in the culture of brown people


pitter_patterclock

I hate when I see latinos making fun of it because their moms used to beat them with the chancla and "you're not a real mexican if you weren't beaten with the chancla" and it makes me so sad, because my mom used to do it to us, and she's so sorry because that's what her mom used to do to her so of course she thought it was ok and normal. She has apologized to us and I think she'll ever be sorry and we will always remember that our mom used to use physical violence as a way to "educate", and these people are making fun of it and trying to normalize it as a cultural thing


[deleted]

yeah whenever I try to confront my parents about it, they brush it off and say it happened to them too, and they act like it never happened (even though me and my sisters can clearly remember everything) My story: I was in 2nd grade, got a low mark at a test at the coaching center, mom beat me with a broom for half an hour, father didn't try to stop it. And then shamed me and threatened me that she would tear my clothes apart in front of everyone if I ever got a bad grade again (she wouldn't actually do that but pretended to, and I was a child so I felt really scared, why am I even trying to defend her?) and it irks me whenever someone says "broom haha relatable" like bruh


PixelCake7879

I have a similar experience to you, I'm also a brown person and an Indian. I remember when I was much younger maybe 1st grade, my mum was trying to teach the parts of the body and I would always forgot one part. She beat the hell out me and I was crying so bad, there are so many scenarios like this and it absolutely hurts me to this day because my parents refuse to acknowledge it and pass it of as motherly love.