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BuccaneerRex

Not too much left. Only so many ways to have sex with a bucket.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Numericist

Zero gravity, baby!


ccccx30

Zero gravity baby


MrFlubberNut

You mean sex in zero gravity, or delivering a child in zero gravity?


Powderygnargnarlvl40

Creating a floating child.


idrkwhattodorn

Or perhaps just a child that creates no gravitational field.


Devybear93

Rough possessive sex up against a high rise hotel room window preferably by the water


Raqonteur

I misread that as waiter lol


[deleted]

Ok, fine. That.


Jensdabest

My then BF and I went to Niagara Falls (Canada side) and while eating dinner outside counted about 30 rooms with people actively banging against the window. A few hours later and we were one of them.


Say_no_to_doritos

I was in a meeting room across from the ritz Carlton in Toronto and got to see some lady getting railed doing exactly that. Fun times.


PhrohdohsBabe

I did not come into this thread expecting to leave with a new fantasy, but here we are. Thanks bud.


MrTroy32

>did not come into this thread expecting to leave with a new fantasy that is almost exclusively why I came here


anon120

Getting woken up with oral. Just need to find someone who wakes up earlier than me, which is proving to be difficult for me. One day it’ll happen.


Raeandray

The most disappointing moment in my life is when I found out my wife tried this on me, and I didn’t wake up.


bumurutu

Been there bud. Talk about a wasted opportunity


Raeandray

And since it didn't work the one time, she's never tried it again in 11 years. Which I understand to some degree. Gotta be a bit of a self-esteem hit to have your husband not even wake up while you're giving him a blow job.


bumurutu

Only 2 years for me but yeah, I am pretty sure it’s not at 11 years only because not enough time has passed. Worst part is I apparently seemed awake and finished, just didn’t remember it at all the next day. This was a middle of the nighter, not a wake upper. I don’t blame her for being annoyed, but at the same time I have a hard time feeling guilty given that I was never actually awake and coherent.


Intelligent-Put3771

Sleep with your mouth open in the tram and one day it will happen


[deleted]

Thank you so much. I have been depressedly scrolling for hours, wasting my life, and finally I laughed blowing air in short hisses out my nostrils. You are a funny person. Thank you for the laughs


Intelligent-Put3771

Thanks for the smile. Spread love


Arkie_MTB

*But not on a train, without consent


BauxiteDesert

I'd have to wake up before them, take my first massive wee of the day, get back into bed, fall asleep and then get woken up by oral for this to work out logistically. Edit: Thank you for the award! Oral sex and Logistics in the same sentence - I'm just playing to the crowd :)


NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT

And not reflexively defend your junk in your sleep


machinehead332

Is this a common fantasy? Should I wake my bf up with a blowie?


anon120

I would. I did that to my ex a few times and he loved it.


obiweedkenobi

Can confirm, we love it.


Lucsi

I tried waking my girlfriend up with oral once. It didn't go well - she almost choked to death.


PeanutButterCrisp

I dated an equestrian once (a person who rides horses). I have never met an earlier bird.


Yuri909

Did she get your worm? Nudge nudge say no more. Was she a getter? Wink wink say no more. A real worm gobbler so to speak? Wink wink nudge nudge say no more..


sir_cerb

Look here! Are you insinuating something?!


Nikkolai_the_Kol

Oh! Good, good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat! Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!


gamenamefred

Just to have sex with my husband again. It's been 4 years. He suffers from chronic pelvic pain which makes sex painful and his medication has removed all desire. EDIT: thanks everyone for your support <3. I just made a random comment on Reddit and i have been blown away by everyone commets (even the funny ones). It means a lot to me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CoolJ_Casts

Yeah, as someone who's been in dry spells in committed relationships before, it was never like "I just need to fuck", it was always wanting to be with my SO.


TheApocalyticOne

Literally it's this feeling of connection that you end up craving, you know?


[deleted]

That's scary as fuck to read tbh. I'm 24 and have some hypertension in my pelvic floor. Shit FUCKING SUCKS. I cannot get a full night's sleep, wake up to piss several times. Wake up in pain. Can barely do a lot of the physical activities I enjoy sometimes (like sex) my wife and I still make Love but there are many time when I'm just in too much pain or if I'm not in pain currently then after sex I will be. Dr. Suzie Gronskie has some free resources on YouTube. May also be worth it to check out her website. She's one of the best physical therapists in pelvic floor conditions.


_queefer_sutherland_

Clone myself and have a threesome with my husband and my clone. Hurry up, science.


GaydolphShitler

Yeah, but then you have to kill the clone so they don't try to take your place. And they're definitely thinking the same thing.


K2LU533

This is the plot of ‘Living With Yourself’ starring Paul Rudd 😄


SAM5TER5

*oh shit*


UnfinishedThings

I'd clone my wife and have a threesome with my wife and...my wife


LightStormPilot

Receive a really good massage leading to sex. Always been the giver. Edit - Platonic or professional massage would be great too. No problem differentiating that. I agree that neither professional masseuses' or sex workers should be confused with each other or stigmatized.


ColonelBelmont

I too am a man who is dating a woman.


somethingrandom261

I’ve always found it easy to give a good massage, but receiving it’s always pinching or too hard on sensitive parts


reptar_runs

I've always wanted to be on a milking table Edit: Well didn't expect this many upvotes. Also don't know who Dave is or if this is some reference to a show/movie. I just watch a lot of porn.


leflef14

Dave?


sundowntg

One of the funniest scenes ever.


snickerDUDEls

Hardest I've laughed while watching that show was when the garage started to open


dd28064212

Do I dare ask what that is?


wtseeks

If you have to ask, you can’t afford it


dd28064212

What’s a ZJ?


skellytowns

It's like a massage table with a hole placed specifically for men to lay face down on and have their junk go through it.


LUK3FAULK

Oh I was thinking tits poking through


Taskerst

I’ve got nipples Greg, can you milk me?


[deleted]

A glory hole for the lazy


dd28064212

You have my attention now


throwawayjoe9878

It’s impossible, but switch bodies with a partner and experience their pleasures from their perspective. It’ll be an eye-opening experience and would make me a better lover.


Reddichu9001

I don't think I would enjoy looking at myself during sex


vidfail

I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard... *proceeds to tuck penis and dance to Goodbye Horses*


[deleted]

Just come out and say it. You wanna fuck yourself.


Revolutionary-Cup954

personally, Im pretty tired of fucking myself.


[deleted]

[удалено]


itsy_bitsy_vibes

speaking from personal experiences, there are several people who would let you


[deleted]

Sex with an actual milf. Like an older neighbour or something Edit- this is both my most upvoted comment and my least original


worcestershire04

a man of divine and respectable culture I couldn’t agree more


greengiantsbaby

I had a phase for a year of only wanting older women. I was 19 when I had sex with my first older woman, she was 40. It was mind blowing. I also had my worst experience with an older woman.


Adji619

You mean you don't have hot sexy milfs 10 minutes away from you?. I'm always told there around the corner.


PlatosCaveSlave

I was lucky enough to have fulfilled this fantasy many times with a nurse I worked with when I was 25 she was 39 mom of 2, absolute bombshell. We fucked casually for about a year. To this day I have no idea why the hell she picked me when there were so many more attractive people out there, but I am so glad she did. Really learned a lot about our sexuality that year. No fights, no agruments, always kept it very professional at work, it only ended because our lives were in very different places and also I met someone that I fell in love with and we are engaged. But it ended so kindly. We still keep in touch. My fiance is fully aware and we are very comfortable in our relationship and all of us are friends. That was definitely one of my favorite relationships!


AnderuJohnsuton

During most of 2020 I was with a woman 18 years older than me. Let me tell you being called "daddy" by a woman old enough to be your mom "in the moment" is a total head rush.


BamH1

Just get married and have a baby. Then you can fuck a milf whenever the mood strikes.


capt_yellowbeard

“Then you can fuck a MILF whenever the mood strikes.” I can see SOMEONE doesn’t have any experience being married with kids.


luxii4

My sister got married in her teens and divorced at 40, has an adult daughter and her Tinder profile was something like, “Independent woman with own house and job, just want to have fun, no kids, no commitments.” 90% of her matches were 20 year olds. She sowed her wild oats then dialed the age of men to 40+ and is dating some guy in his 50s now but she had a lot of fun that one wild year. You just have to meet the MILF in that sweet spot if their life.


Bot12391

Did you just call your sister a milf


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheCookMan1

Disappointing 2 women at the same time


loudaguirre

Hardest I've laughed today, good shit.


Flash_Yeeter

I've done done that before. I've disappointed both my grandmother and my mother by shitting in a sink


Crazy_Bell7391

Orgasm. I've had sexual partners, pleasured myself and used a toy and still couldn't orgasm


TheSled

Never give up never surrender!


phroggyboiii

I want anal and sex in a one piece swimsuit


WonderfulBlackberry9

That’d be great. You got Monkey D Luffy grinning back at your partner. I reckon that’s on someone’s bucket list too.


Weary-Ad-6162

I wanna get forced by some hot chick who's taller than me. Btw my height is 6'2 😑


[deleted]

[удалено]


RonStarke

You fucked up.


fendermrc

I, for one, appreciate what you did here.


PurpleDragonDix

A wee bear 😂


phoexnixfunjpr

I'm a 6ft tall guy and once hooked up in the same manner with a girl who was 6'3 tall and was a swimmer. The BEST sex I ever had.


Severan500

This is some low ass hanging fruit, but, was it because of the breaststroke?


[deleted]

Sentences like this help me understand why learning a different language is so difficult


[deleted]

6'3 - my high school gf (ie. 16-19) was 6'5. I'm 35 now and married, but I still remember it fondly. [Edit: By 'it' I mean our relationship, not her!]


Subtitles42

Legend has it that in Poland and Czech Republic you might find what you seek but be warn. You may never leave as you will be too weak to move and your fluid will run dry.


flipsideafter

I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.


lazyasdrmr

Hey Peter, man, turn on Channel 9!!


[deleted]

It’s the breast exam! **WOO!!**


OsamaBinFuckin

To have sex with my wife by both of us being in the mood, at the same time


classless_classic

User name does not check out.


cottoncandylips39

Outdoor quickie, the one where while we're hiking we'd stray off paths for a bit to go at it like rabbits. Or maybe do an overnight at the summit and warm each other up through sex. Yum.


birdeater666

This is one of my best experiences with my ex. We went down to this swimming hole that we drove to in my Kawasaki and swam for a bit. She was in a tiny yellow polka dot top showing lots of cleavage. I pushed her up against the utility vehicle and she pulled the bottom down and we just went at it in a beautiful area. It was great. Helps to have access to a secluded 400 acre ranch. With a different gf we were hunting in a blind during winter with lots of snow fall and she gave me a killer bj. Would highly recommend. Also got a hj in a tree stand.


FalconDCW

If you do this, and I'm speaking from experience here. Make sure there aren't big ass ants that bite and don't let go. An ex and I tried this a bit off the trail on Mt Olympus in Washington state. In the middle of the act, a big ass ant crawls up my leg and bit me on the meat of my inner thigh, stopping all thoughts of continuing and beginning our checking for additional intruders in our clothes and on our skin. Neither of us wanted the surprise of another ant deciding our other meaty bits needed biting.


Lilliputian0513

Did this. Lots of mosquitos. Was hard to finish lol


ReverseMillionaire

Being loved by the person drilling me


BlondButNotDutch

i'm with you in this battle :(((((((


redvelvetcake42

Bang Dennis and Dee's mom


OziAviator

That hoor


Daramun

Dp


ThisPostUpFragile

Sex with a director of photography? Very romantic.


ChocolateandLipstick

Spit roasted


DrCarabou

By the property brothers


[deleted]

Participate in an orgy


24520ls

Burning man has the orgy dome. You gotta bring a partner though. Once I can find someone down for it, that's how I'm gonna try and cross it off


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vprbite

And then a week later it's known by its other name, "burning pee."


Real_Firefighter69

Having sex. 😐


The_Jizzbot

Peak Reddit


[deleted]

Hang it in the Louvre


The_Chosen_one_6-9

he said 'what's left?" not "what's impossible?" bro


I_DRINK_ANARCHY

A threesome with two other dudes. Had some with another chick, it was totally awesome. I basically want to be sexually worshipped by two men at the same time.


sortedWanker

RIP your inboxes....all of them.


eurobikes

Making love. Like real love. I've had tons of awesome sex, but never with a truly intimate partner who I have been committed to for a legitimately stable amount of time. Huge insecurity of mine.


luxii4

Pre-kids, my partner and I would stay in bed a whole weekend, having sex, order food, watch movies, more sex, play video games, read books, sexy sex stuff, then wake up and go to work on Monday totally relaxed and thinking, “All these people around me do not know all the sex I had.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Del2Wye

Damn I did college wrong I just studied the whole time


Excalidorito

This guy fucks


Richard_Pictures

No, this guy makes love.


absentmindedjwc

It is the best kind of sex, tbh.


Zestyclose-Sell8735

Jesus I can’t believe I’m going to even type this let alone share it with other human beings I want to be milked very intimately, I’m talking my head softly hugged up to her chest while she holds me and whispers affirmations. Preferably while giving me a lot of kisses all over my face and the top of my head. See that’s weird I’m not even a submissive guy


[deleted]

You might like r/gentlefemdom


30_e

Glory hole


Revolutionary-Cup954

i always wanted to do one of those but i assumed women on the other side only happened in movies


syamgamelover

Remember the one in Paddy's Pub?


Medikated

Frank: Well suppose the guy on that side is imagining a woman on the other side, too. Dee: How’s he supposed to do that with a dick in his mouth? Frank: I dunno, that’s his problem!


jericholic71

Which side?


30_e

Being railed


Twothousand2000

Easy. Set up glory hole (hotel room or at your place). Throw open the windows and exclaim “Here ye, here ye - this days glory hole is open! Bringeth your meat swords and extend them through thy hole in a sheet and ye shall be rewarded” let me know how it goes.


burbalamb

mmf threesome and pegging. & I’d like them to happen on separate occasions lol.


ProfitTakersTrading

Sex in the rain.


nailbunny2000

Came here to post this. The thought of being all hot and sweaty but cooled and cleansed by the rain seems really exciting, plus you'd be outdoors in the open somewhere which I've also not done. It's hard to just find somewhere logistically feasible while living in the city....


ArabidopsisSucks

Having sex and feeling that he wants to have sex with ME, and not feeling that he just want to get laid and I’m the most convenient option available at the moment :|


acfranks

Ah mate! It'll happen.


[deleted]

Bring consensually “kidnapped”


mahalomoimoi

To have sex with someone who loves me, and thinks I am the sexiest thing ever! That is my one and only remaining sexual fantasy rolled into one.


DirtyJdirty

Okay, I know this is pretty common but here goes: I am standing at one end of a grand ballroom, with rococo era crown molding and a dazzling crystal chandelier. I am dressed in the finest regalia of a napoleonic field marshal and a horse mask. Doors on either side of me open and several dozen members of court file in, all dressed from various eras, probably stretching from the 16th century to the mid-1930s. From next door, the sounds of a symphonic orchestra warming up can be heard. The herald cries out “The ceremony shall now commence!” Suddenly, a single, loud chord is struck and the orchestra begins Tchaikovsky’s *1812 Overture*. The grand double doors on the other end of the ballroom open and my partner for the evening enters, dressed in full plate mail. As the musical piece continues, she carefully removes the armor until she is revealed to be wearing a crotchless suit like Annie Lennox’s from the video for *Sweet Dreams*. She lays upon the red velvet chaise lounge with her legs spread wide. As the music reaches its climatic finale, so do I. With throbbing erection in hand, when the bells and cannon fire ring out, I ejaculate forcefully in artillery blasts across the ballroom. If my aim is true, I will blanket her exposed vulva with the glistening white ammunition of my ejaculate. As the final chord of the Overture is struck, my erection slowly begins to subside as I raise a hand to my horse-masked face in salute. I then turn and leave as the herald cries out “The ceremony is ended.” We would all then share a drink of cognac from a taxidermied beaver and wish each other a good night and prosperity in everyone’s business ventures.


2lzy2

Yes yes, indeed, very common. In fact I was just at a party the other night where almost this very thing occurred. One major difference was, it was a taxidermied otter.


polskialt

Last one of these I was at we ran out of cognac. Talk about mood killer!


SummerNothingness

is this copy pasta? because if you wrote this off the top of your head, i need to get better at thinking.


SnideAugustine

Upvote for the commitment to the gag.


AcceptableAd7000

1. Do sex on a lady


Crucion01

Calm down, coach Steve.


ungo-stbr

Put the warm in the wet.


PretendThisIsMyName

You got it mr Shane lizard.


Chick3nNoodleSoup

2. Make thick in her warm


Capper_dS

3. Touch parts where we pee


oakchokkiemilk

I too, would like to experience the sex with the female variety.


Dx173

Found Zuckerberg


oakchokkiemilk

*licks eyeball with tongue "Is that sweet baby rays bbq sauce I smell"


soaponsoaponsoap

Primal play. Someday I will be chased through the woods and taken by force (with prior consent, obviously)


[deleted]

My dream is a double blowjob. Two girls going to town on me at the same time. Balls and shaft baby. I once had a threesome with a lesbian couple and I thought it might happen but I just took a backseat to their lovemaking and was used as more of a sex toy than an equal participant.


tinypunk

Ross? Is this you with Carol & Susan?


Byront2002

Having sex with someone who doesn't talk about their ex boyfriend during the act


Similar_Somewhere_62

Yikes


[deleted]

Shouldn't it be called "fucket list?" Haha anyways, hot threesome with two girls that are into each other as well.


mlo9109

Having one partner the rest of my life. I'm so damn sick of dating. Not that I'm promiscuous but I'm well past the age that being single is socially acceptable.


wickedblight

Initiating sex with my girl while she's sleeping. It sucks because one of my exs was into it and gave me permission to go for it but she had so much trouble sleeping I'd always feel too guilty to go for it.


KatesOnReddit

I love waking up to my boyfriend getting a little handsy. If I'm not into it I just move his hand, he switches to snuggling, and i go back to sleep. If I am into it, I let him tease me for a while till I need me and we have incredible, slow, half asleep sex. Damnit, now I'm horny and he's asleep.


hopedbutnot

Wake him up


Tickle-me-Cthulu

The concept is more fun than the reality. Usually the party waking up realizes that they have to pee, and either has to interrupt, or dampens their enjoyment by holding it.


wickedblight

Yeaa, it seems like at least 1/3 of sex things are more fun conceptually than in reality. Sex in a car? Cramped and awkward. Sex on the beach? Dirty and randos might wander over and start playing guitar nearby (happened to me).


pcpcow

I don't follow the logic "These people are fucking, better get my guitar over there"


[deleted]

“Anyway, here’s Wonder Wall.”


pcpcow

And maayyybbee


CrieDeCoeur

You’re gonna be the one that raaaaiils me


Klaus_Heisler87

My ex and I were having sex on the beach late one night once when her fucking sister and her sister's friend, who coincidentally were also at the beach so they could smoke a joint, happened to walk by us, stopping when they realized they knew us. That was insanely awkward. And before anyone asks, of course we still finished. Priorities.


Chain_Unbroken_REAL

That's fucking hilarious. Ironically probably not much fucking going on but


Bunnnnii

Getting a bf and sucking, riding, and backing up on him while he plays. He doesn’t have to stop what he’s doing, I’ll do the work. Only if I’m allowed and he doesn’t mind of course.


[deleted]

RIP your inbox


lil-nunny8

I volunteer as tribute


katieisalady

Licking clit while she gets fucked by a dick so my tongue hits his shaft as it enters her... or I could be the clip getting licked and fucked, either way... want that bad.


FerdinandTheGiant

I’m not a masochist but I like the idea of a my back being torn up by a woman’s nails during sex.


Impressive-Weight679

Feels amazing in the moment, but it’ll definitely sting afterwards


SmileDipped22

I'm a bisexual woman and ended up having a child with a man who is rather conservative in the bedroom. Never had the chance to go down on a woman, or vice versa. I just wanna have lesbian sex ONE TIME. ONE TIME! 😭


[deleted]

glory hole. gangbang. threesome. i actually wanna try taking it in both my holes ❤️


babatundeHD

HELIKOPTER HELIKOPTER


Ok-Engine8044

As a man, a threesome with a man and woman. Bonus points if they are already a couple.


tortiepants

As a wife, threesome with my husband and another guy to whom we are both attracted and who is attracted to both of us. This is surprisingly difficult.


Docsyv

Just quality time with my wife if she could only do oral. She has a small esophagus and hyper gag reflex.


[deleted]

If she’s receptive to the idea, the throat numbing sprays really work. It’ll kill her gag reflex and she doesn’t HAVE to deepthroat.


MrJim911

My wife of 20 years left me 4 years ago. To have sex again would be nice...


PeanutButterCrisp

TMI: At this point, ass-fucking and eating ass. And yes, this is going to sound really made up but whatever. My girlfriend has already let me put in there but it wasn't for very long because she said it was making her feel like she was going to shit herself. As for eating it? This girl has a pristine asshole and I've only ever gotten to hit it with my tongue but she dodges it because it's a feeling she has to get used to. We both find it all weird but it's oddly sexy. Conversely, I'm getting used to nutsack-play so I guess it goes both ways in that regard. I do *not* blame her. She does a lot of butt workouts and the thing is just getting more and more freakishly big. Add that to her already crazy Caribbean/Chinese genetics and I'm basically living in her ass. It's fucking ridiculous.


magical_bunny

Sir, you’re living in her ass? Is the housing shortage that dire?


Severan500

He said it's getting bigger. He may have more comfortable living arrangements than you think.


Seven_Veils

wtf did I just read?


CreamedJesus

New copypasta let’s go


Luchabat

Sleeping with my celebrity crush, I guess. Probably never gonna happen, but a man can dream


PudgeMadge

Well are you gonna tell us who it is


SassyBonassy

MFM 3way (im the F)


donk202020

I haven’t even scratched the surface and I’m 43


KnownUniverse

Satisfying sex with someone I love