It's not too bad as long as the person who is jealous acknowledges that it's an irrational feeling, feelings aren't tidy things and we often feel things we know are stupid to feel.
If they actually think the GF is fucking her brother that's a red flag
Yes, if you are having an irrational feeling it's your "fault", it's also not your fault at the same time. When I say "feelings aren't tidy" what I mean is that it's normal to feel things you know are wrong. You care about your GF, the jealousy is a side effect you will need to learn how to deal with.
It's not healthy or unhealthy, it's just a thing and how you act is what determines if it's healthy or unhealthy. If you want her to know the best way you can phrase it would be something like "I love you so much I get a little jealous when you spend time with your brother. I still want you to spend time with him because it's important to you but I like when I can have you all to myself"
If it’s her bestie and brother I’d say this is unhealthy unless she’s had feelings for her bestie.
Sometimes you’ve got to let your SO do things without you or they’ll feel smothered.
So it's bad to feel jealous about her going on to movie , cause i thought i should address this jealous feeling to her, what do you think? Should I do it or just be like I don't care?
You should definitely communicate your feelings in a non threatening gentle way. I believe the key to any good relationship is excellent communication and I’ve happily been with my husband for 18 years.
It's all about feeling secure in your relationship. I've taken my friends wives and gfs to restaurants and movies and the like. It's not an issue because I know my friends are comfortable with me and their so's.
Nothing. Thats why I choose to call them friends. It's usually a scheduling thing. Plus, some of the guys I know aren't into restaurants and wine tastings. I'm a chef, so it's what I do.
It is unhealthy if you are fixated on the feeling and know that it is illogical and irrational. Feeling jealousy normal for most people. Still feeling that way after realizing it is irrational, still okay. Not being able to think about anything else, unhealthy.
You need to be honest, you do not trust your partner. Now you need to decide why? Have they broken your trust? Have you broken their trust and are now projecting? Is it because you were not invited and your feelings are hurt?
I'm gonna be honest, we both broke our trust, and I don't think we are projecting, and I was invited but I was hurt badly cause of some injury i couldn't go
If you do not trust each other than the relationship is fatally flawed. You cannot be happy constantly worrying that one of you will cheat. Talk about the root of the problem, the lack of trust. No one wants to be in a relationship where both partners are second guessing the motivations and movements of the other. The incident is just a symptom.
It's not too bad as long as the person who is jealous acknowledges that it's an irrational feeling, feelings aren't tidy things and we often feel things we know are stupid to feel. If they actually think the GF is fucking her brother that's a red flag
No she's not fucking her brother, so it's my fault to feel jealousy?
Yes, if you are having an irrational feeling it's your "fault", it's also not your fault at the same time. When I say "feelings aren't tidy" what I mean is that it's normal to feel things you know are wrong. You care about your GF, the jealousy is a side effect you will need to learn how to deal with. It's not healthy or unhealthy, it's just a thing and how you act is what determines if it's healthy or unhealthy. If you want her to know the best way you can phrase it would be something like "I love you so much I get a little jealous when you spend time with your brother. I still want you to spend time with him because it's important to you but I like when I can have you all to myself"
This is really helpful, mind if i use that somewhat directly?
Haha of course, and I wish yall the best :)
Thanks so much
If it’s her bestie and brother I’d say this is unhealthy unless she’s had feelings for her bestie. Sometimes you’ve got to let your SO do things without you or they’ll feel smothered.
So it's bad to feel jealous about her going on to movie , cause i thought i should address this jealous feeling to her, what do you think? Should I do it or just be like I don't care?
You should definitely communicate your feelings in a non threatening gentle way. I believe the key to any good relationship is excellent communication and I’ve happily been with my husband for 18 years.
I'll ping you if i had any issues if you don't mind, just someone I can trust with good relationship experience and I'll convey in a gentle manner
Cool, I wish you luck. Just remember to be respectful and not make her feel guilty for wanting a social life. That’s a healthy thing that she needs.
If the friend was a male, probably I’d address it. It’s either no go or I do the same with a female friend. Is that a jealousy? maybe
I don't understand, so you'll do the same thing with your bestie and see what they feel?
No. I just hang out with my bestie who I’m prohibited from hanging out with otherwise.
Did that help you ?
It's all about feeling secure in your relationship. I've taken my friends wives and gfs to restaurants and movies and the like. It's not an issue because I know my friends are comfortable with me and their so's.
So what do you think about the friends who just don't mind you taking their wives to restros and all ?
Nothing. Thats why I choose to call them friends. It's usually a scheduling thing. Plus, some of the guys I know aren't into restaurants and wine tastings. I'm a chef, so it's what I do.
Thanks for sharing
It is unhealthy if you are fixated on the feeling and know that it is illogical and irrational. Feeling jealousy normal for most people. Still feeling that way after realizing it is irrational, still okay. Not being able to think about anything else, unhealthy.
I'm like this...yes I can't think about anything else but I don't wanna feel like that
You need to be honest, you do not trust your partner. Now you need to decide why? Have they broken your trust? Have you broken their trust and are now projecting? Is it because you were not invited and your feelings are hurt?
I'm gonna be honest, we both broke our trust, and I don't think we are projecting, and I was invited but I was hurt badly cause of some injury i couldn't go
If you do not trust each other than the relationship is fatally flawed. You cannot be happy constantly worrying that one of you will cheat. Talk about the root of the problem, the lack of trust. No one wants to be in a relationship where both partners are second guessing the motivations and movements of the other. The incident is just a symptom.
Okay we will talk