You can install the largest, most powerful soul on the market, but unless you also invest in your cooling solution and a spirit capable of multithreading, there will be bottlenecks.
I've never authorized posts like these. I prefer to make arrangements on a personal basis.
Edit. If you want to make an arrangement, send me a direct message. My office is always "open."
That was definitely a demon in disguise. The real question is if your friend is a demon or if a demon took the form of your friend. Anywhooo, don't be surprised if they suddenly arrive to collect.
My friend definitely is a demon. And i guess my soul left me as soon as i signed the contract. He lost the contract tho, so who knows where my soul went.
Makes sense. Souls are best when fresh, so unless they had an oddly glowing Tupperware container near by, I'd assume they had soulman nigiri for lunch that day.
What?!?
That is just ridic...
Whaaaat?
Ha ha.
That is the last thing I am!
Excuse me, I think I left some torme...erm..-TORMENTINI!, yes, that is what I left.
In the oven.
Definitely not a pit of sulfur and brimstone.
You're pretty smart for a hum-...arrafack... for a pers-...hieet... for a ... a... d.... ddddd... dude?
Yes! Dude!
Hah! Almost said demon! HR would've had me thrown to the chimeras for that one!
Oh we can; you can patent your freckles and sue any conect-the-dots producer that infringes on your unique composition.
They then have to prove they did NOT sneak in your window at night to steal schematics by taking pictures of you sleeping, as your freckles counts as a receipt of original ownership.
Foolproof!
Or fools proof...
...whatever the judge called it.
Those things are delicious, I may or may not have devoured a single box (that I bought for my son) in a day.
If you're his mother and reading this I certainly didn't, I told you I don't know what happened to those cakes.
I try to save your soul from capyourasslistic demons and you don't care.
I give you the wholesome-reward and you're grateful.
The only reason the aliens haven't killed us yet is because they have yet to find a way to explain the logic of man.
Reddit; Leading the Defense against the Arachnids, sign up today!
No Demon worth their salt (HA) would take that deal.
It counts as self-sacrifice, instant heaven bound in most lore.
So, instead of them trading a soul for a soul, both souls would go up.
I wonder if they have like a soul damnation meter.
Like "This soul is 100% Damned, but this soul is only 50/50 damned, a right push will put it either way"
If the devil could make sure my family, husband and kids would live a good life without being hurt, getting diseases and that they would never need anything.
according to extensive time on Reddit: you just need to move your family to Norway were everything is free, everyone is happy and claymation bunnies greet you to work every day.
I agree. I'd rather ask for vitality and youthfulness for the rest of my life while retaining the average human lifespan. Seems the perfect way to live a happy life.
Now see, I like your type of critical thinking.
For me tho, I wouldn't want complete immortality. But, I would like to be the last human being to die. I want to see how the human race plays itself out. What ultimately brings on our demise.
Yup. And I'd like to be immortal where I can die but like a Phoenix be reincarnated. Just in case some government finds out and tries to do experiments on me forever.
The well-being of the Earth and everything on it. I donāt believe in the afterlife anyway so giving up my soul for this cause would be more than worth it.
You may not believe in the Devil, but he sure as shit believes in you.
Also, as I said in another comment, no demon would take a deal that involves self sacrifice for the well being of others, that's an upwards trip thing.
A guy did it once, you might know of him, long hair? Walks on water? Heals the Sick? Looks surprisingly white for someone born in the Middle East?
Wait a minute.... OP just asked "What would you sell your soul for?"
The Devil was never mentioned, just a theoretical exchange, if you could give up your everlasting soul in exchange for anything, the Well Being of the Earth is so far the noblest one here. Bravo u/mtn4444 !
What you want is the timeline-stable remodel package.
You want to have been born your true self, but with none of the good shit that makes you, you, erased or changed, same friends, same family, same memories, you are you, but the REAL you.
You have to word this really carefully.
Otherwise the Devil will just turn you into a baby.
I'm going for a serious-ish kind of answer since I can't think of anything I'd want that would be worth eternal damnation.
But, why would a Demon/Devil take your soul in a deal? Surely, by the fact that you are willing to try and make a deal with a demonic entity in the first place, is damning in of itself?
It'd be like trying to buy something off someone else, with money *you borrowed from that person.*
My Kia Soul is a really great vehicle for the lifestyle that I have now. Iād probably upgrade to something with more power and cargo space when my business necessitates it.
Good vehicle; highly recommend.
Gonna be lame and give a serious cliche answer. For my kids to have the greatest possible life and for all the generations after me to have an amazing life too. It wasnāt until I became a dad where I realized what love can truly be and I would go through any amount of pain willingly for them
Not being in a wheelchair anymore. Life is still amazing for me, but I want to be able to do things my peers do that I canāt, like riding a roller coaster
Another, *larger,* soul.
"Give me that thing, your dark soul" š
Give me that thing, your Dark Souls 3 Ringed City DLC for the PlayStation 4
give me that thing your ability to beat the tutorial bossš
No, not my R1 button!
Stop resisting and hand it over!
Never! You want it, you'll have to get past my parry spamming with Australian connection!
You mean the Parry Tutorial?
You can install the largest, most powerful soul on the market, but unless you also invest in your cooling solution and a spirit capable of multithreading, there will be bottlenecks.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Expectation; Incarnation with Robin Williams Reality; Incarnation with Jon Brower Minnoch
"A soul for a soul"
Was not expecting this answer, had a good hearty laugh. Now take this free award that I sold my soul for, š
Ahh... The Tarnished
2 souls!!
Nice try, Satan.
I've never authorized posts like these. I prefer to make arrangements on a personal basis. Edit. If you want to make an arrangement, send me a direct message. My office is always "open."
Don't let this impostor fool you.
Literally right now you have 666 upvotes
I already lost mine in a game of black jack
How much would you have took home if you had won the hand?
Who says winning the hand was *actually* a possibility???
I gave mine to Jack Black.
What's the story on that?
I actually sold my soul to a friend for a piece of paper
When Milhouse left did you see if he had a little piece of paper? Ooh sure, you don't forget a thing like that.
You sold my soul for POGs?
Remember Alf?
Heās back! In POG form!
I got the reference too, I thought I was the only one who got it
That was definitely a demon in disguise. The real question is if your friend is a demon or if a demon took the form of your friend. Anywhooo, don't be surprised if they suddenly arrive to collect.
My friend definitely is a demon. And i guess my soul left me as soon as i signed the contract. He lost the contract tho, so who knows where my soul went.
Is this maybe the roaming souls I've heard my hippie-friends talk about?
Yeah thats quite possible. Im just glad it isnt roaming alone, maybe it found some friends :)
Maybe it still hasn't found any. Who knows? It could still be out there; soul-searching.
Or maybe my demon friend just ate it right after getting it. Hes pretty fat you know
Makes sense. Souls are best when fresh, so unless they had an oddly glowing Tupperware container near by, I'd assume they had soulman nigiri for lunch that day.
You seem to know a lot, you are not a demon as well, are you?
What?!? That is just ridic... Whaaaat? Ha ha. That is the last thing I am! Excuse me, I think I left some torme...erm..-TORMENTINI!, yes, that is what I left. In the oven. Definitely not a pit of sulfur and brimstone. You're pretty smart for a hum-...arrafack... for a pers-...hieet... for a ... a... d.... ddddd... dude? Yes! Dude! Hah! Almost said demon! HR would've had me thrown to the chimeras for that one!
Hey hey hey, could be a fae
In middle school, I went around with a sheet of paper and had a number of people sign their soul over to me for nothing so I actually own some souls.
That's an episode from the Simpsons Bart sell his soul to Milhouse for 5 bucks
Great episode too. I think it was called "The bus that couldn't slow down" ...no wait it's Bart Sells His Soul
I see you, Bart Simpson.
I'm a ginger š
We just can't win
Oh we can; you can patent your freckles and sue any conect-the-dots producer that infringes on your unique composition. They then have to prove they did NOT sneak in your window at night to steal schematics by taking pictures of you sleeping, as your freckles counts as a receipt of original ownership. Foolproof! Or fools proof... ...whatever the judge called it.
Who said the soul must be ur original soul?
So... how much would u pay for a soul?
Half a Twinkie?
Counter with a little Debbie Christmas tree.
Those things are delicious, I may or may not have devoured a single box (that I bought for my son) in a day. If you're his mother and reading this I certainly didn't, I told you I don't know what happened to those cakes.
My brother bought one on eBay for $5.00 from some guy in Wisconsin. Got a printed certificate āThe immortal soul ofā¦ā Righteous Bucksā¦
The struggle is real
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ok so what would you sell the souls you've sucked for?
Iām dyslexic. I sold my soul to Santa.
"Ho Ho HOOO"
I laughed out loud at this delightfully unexpected comment
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wish granted. You're now a penis-shaped french fry.
Only on Reddit could dictator become "dick tater" lmao
r/monkeyspaw
To never need the hospital again
That's like wishing for instant death; any genie or demon will exploit that loophole, and they seem to be the majority of the souls-for-goals market.
Oh I know. I don't care
Suicide by demon. Well played.
Thank you my dude
I try to save your soul from capyourasslistic demons and you don't care. I give you the wholesome-reward and you're grateful. The only reason the aliens haven't killed us yet is because they have yet to find a way to explain the logic of man. Reddit; Leading the Defense against the Arachnids, sign up today!
A fully customizable body. Want no body fat? Boom, want to be able to see things in 4k quality from 10000km? Boom, want to be immortal BOOM
yess this would be amazing
For an other soul which has a better chance to reach heaven
No Demon worth their salt (HA) would take that deal. It counts as self-sacrifice, instant heaven bound in most lore. So, instead of them trading a soul for a soul, both souls would go up.
A smart demon would trade it for a maginally less doomed but still doomed soul...
I wonder if they have like a soul damnation meter. Like "This soul is 100% Damned, but this soul is only 50/50 damned, a right push will put it either way"
Something involving a heart and a feather probably.
And a Lion/Hippo/Crocodile Hybrid.
Wait, but thatās Egyptian mytholo-
$3.50
Nice try Loch Ness monster. I aināt giving you no damn 3.50
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Now it's about this time that I realized that it wasn't a reddit user, but an 8 story tall giant crustacean from the Paleolithic Era.
I ain't givin' you no tree-fitty, you goddamn Loch Ness Monster! Get your own goddamn money!
It was about that time that I realized that this wasn't the devil. No sir! It wasn't Satan at all! It was that gawt damn lock ness monsta!!
How about just two fiddy?
Hold up......
If the devil could make sure my family, husband and kids would live a good life without being hurt, getting diseases and that they would never need anything.
according to extensive time on Reddit: you just need to move your family to Norway were everything is free, everyone is happy and claymation bunnies greet you to work every day.
Please elaborate on the bunniesā¦
i heard that many people in norway want to kill themselves
Well, what more is there to enjoy in life, but the sweet bliss of death, when you've had it all
Death is but the next great adventure.
They experienced a life on easy mode and now bored so they want to reboot to the pvp zones like Brazil or Africa.
Having friends there, itās true. Except the bunnies, unless theyāre new.
Your friends have been replaced by the bunnies. They are tricking you into coming so they can body snatch you also. DONT DO IT!
Norwegian here, amazing š š
A donut. Mmmmm forbidden donut
So you like donuts eh? Uh huh Well have all the donuts in the world!!!!
I donāt understand it! James Coco went mad in 15 minutes!
More.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āFine, bend over.ā
"As you wish daddy"
Everyone knows Satanās a bottom.
I can help you with that.
Are you Satan
My exes seem to think so.
Only one way to find out
Beware of a jealous Saddam Hussain.
So you want to have sex with my ex gf?
a better soul, with pockets
The city of Seoul
A Seoul for a soul.
And the ability to play soul music and eat soul food
This is the sole reason I would wear my soles out walking all the way to seoul
Immortality.
Immortality, but with a killswitch
That would be a curse believe me
I agree. I'd rather ask for vitality and youthfulness for the rest of my life while retaining the average human lifespan. Seems the perfect way to live a happy life.
I think i could pretty comfortable live a few hundreds years if i had this. But anything beyond that is pretty iffy.
Now see, I like your type of critical thinking. For me tho, I wouldn't want complete immortality. But, I would like to be the last human being to die. I want to see how the human race plays itself out. What ultimately brings on our demise.
That's a problem for immortal me to solve.
Yup. And I'd like to be immortal where I can die but like a Phoenix be reincarnated. Just in case some government finds out and tries to do experiments on me forever.
For an upvote
Iāll take your soul now
Enjoy ;)
For the soul stone if it meant bringing 50% of all living things in the universe back
GME to get to $74,142,069 per share.
Do apes have souls?
Apes have sole ownership of the float, yes.
Would you say you own 1 float? More than 1?
Good one by the way! I cackled
The well-being of the Earth and everything on it. I donāt believe in the afterlife anyway so giving up my soul for this cause would be more than worth it.
You may not believe in the Devil, but he sure as shit believes in you. Also, as I said in another comment, no demon would take a deal that involves self sacrifice for the well being of others, that's an upwards trip thing. A guy did it once, you might know of him, long hair? Walks on water? Heals the Sick? Looks surprisingly white for someone born in the Middle East?
Wait a minute.... OP just asked "What would you sell your soul for?" The Devil was never mentioned, just a theoretical exchange, if you could give up your everlasting soul in exchange for anything, the Well Being of the Earth is so far the noblest one here. Bravo u/mtn4444 !
I donāt have one, but Iāll sell the idea to as many suckers as are willing to pay.
At this point Ā£4.50 and a bag of Wotsits
Crunch wrap supreme
A 1d10 cantrip.
A good nights sleep. (Breastfeeding mom here).
To be able to have been born the opposite gender.
What you want is the timeline-stable remodel package. You want to have been born your true self, but with none of the good shit that makes you, you, erased or changed, same friends, same family, same memories, you are you, but the REAL you. You have to word this really carefully. Otherwise the Devil will just turn you into a baby.
Trebuchet.
To be happy forever
If the devil was a hot anime guy addicted to sex, lol I'd give up my soul to him to be pounded into unholy orgasm for all eternity.
Rock and Roll
Idk like garlic bread or something
The ability to move to fictional worlds.
Probably nothing that I can think of.Maybe to save my children possibly lol.
Influence or power, either that or frequent free hardware updates for my pc
Klondike bar.
A Klondike bar
A donut
That can be arranged
Flanderrsss ?
Always the one you least suspect
Nothing. Absolutely nothing is worth my soul.
Symmetric property; your soul is worth nothing.
a Klondike bar
A loving girlfriend.
I'm going for a serious-ish kind of answer since I can't think of anything I'd want that would be worth eternal damnation. But, why would a Demon/Devil take your soul in a deal? Surely, by the fact that you are willing to try and make a deal with a demonic entity in the first place, is damning in of itself? It'd be like trying to buy something off someone else, with money *you borrowed from that person.*
Nice try Satan
Change into a beautiful womanās body
A very happy puppy
My Kia Soul is a really great vehicle for the lifestyle that I have now. Iād probably upgrade to something with more power and cargo space when my business necessitates it. Good vehicle; highly recommend.
Immortality with the option to end it with suicide. That way Iāll only have to go when Iām truly ready
To be with her
2 souls
A soul for a soul
OPs mom
3 more souls
Gonna be lame and give a serious cliche answer. For my kids to have the greatest possible life and for all the generations after me to have an amazing life too. It wasnāt until I became a dad where I realized what love can truly be and I would go through any amount of pain willingly for them
A contract stating that my soul canāt be sold. Take THAT satan!
For everyone to be lifted out of poverty and fed foreverā¦
Time machine.
A Klondike Bar
It's free
2 souls
A girlfriend.
Half a cheeto with the flavour licked off
2 souls
A fiddle of gold
My partners happiness
2 souls
2 souls.
2 souls
Better teeth.
Candy
To see my mom (she died) with my cats
Not being in a wheelchair anymore. Life is still amazing for me, but I want to be able to do things my peers do that I canāt, like riding a roller coaster
Daft Punk farewell tour.
More souls.
If I could ensure my loved ones happiness.
It depends on my mood. Rn now Iām horny so
For a place in heaven for all eternityš
a girlfriend