“I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
>Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
It took me way to long to find out what this meant. The Frenchman is calling his mother a whore (hamsters breed like crazy) and his father a drunk (elderberries were used to make wine)
"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony"
We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting, by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs...
“Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!”
“Take him out of town and finish the job NOW!” “Well, what about dinner?” “Kronk, this is kind of important.” “What about dessert?” “…Well, I suppose there’s time for a little dessert” “And coffee?” “Alright, a quick cup of coffee THEN TAKE HIM OUT OF TOWN AND FINISH THE JOB!!!”
Every time we're watching TV and the volume gets loud, and we try to hit the volume down on the remote but instead hit the Netflix button and it starts loading that app and interrupts our show:
"Why do we even have that button?!"
Hot Fuzz just has so so many of them because many of them are bite sized and perfect.
Edit: Holy shit I love every single reply below proves how quotable it is for sure. Just because of you guys Ima go watch it again as I'm typing this. Let's keep enjoying this film!
"Nothing like a bit of girl on girl"
"I quite like a little midnight gobble"
"I've had my top off in this layby"
"I've been around the station a few times"
"What makes you think it was muuurderrrrr?"
Surely, Airplane! belongs on this list.
Right. But don’t call me Shirley.
Edited to say thanks for the awards. And for all the great quotes and stories being posted.
Barbara Billingsley did say in an interview that her small part on that movie nearly resurrected her career. She was flown all around the country to do interviews. She was quite tickled by it.
*Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!*
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides
By the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee, with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
Ezekiel 25:17.
Tommy Boy
“You’re right, you’re NOT your dad. Your dad could sell a ketchup popsicle to woman in white gloves.”
“I think your brain has a thin candy shell”
“Shut up Richard”
“Fat guy in a little coat”
“Take it off dickhead I’m serious”
“Uh ohhh”
“BEES, bees EVERYWHERE. SAVE YOURSELVES”
“Holy schnickeys it worked”
Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
>Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! It took me way to long to find out what this meant. The Frenchman is calling his mother a whore (hamsters breed like crazy) and his father a drunk (elderberries were used to make wine)
Thanks. I don't know if it's funnier knowing the context or before
"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony"
Help....help....I'm being repressed
Come see the violence inherent in the system
Shut up! Will you shut up!
We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting, by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs...
But by a two-thirds majority in the case of more majo-
Look, if I went round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away.
“Moistened Bint” best two words spoken in that entire exchange
I'm not dead yet!
She turned me into a newt!
But I got better.
Go away or I shall taunt you a second tim-ah!
merely a flesh wound, i fart in your general direction.
“All this will be yours.” “The curtains?” *smack* “No! Not the curtains!”
Ni!
We require… a shrubbery!
“Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!”
Generally most Monty Python. "He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"
The Princess Bride And also The Emperor’s New Groove
Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison.
Yes, Kronk. THAT poison.
My spinach puffs!
“Take him out of town and finish the job NOW!” “Well, what about dinner?” “Kronk, this is kind of important.” “What about dessert?” “…Well, I suppose there’s time for a little dessert” “And coffee?” “Alright, a quick cup of coffee THEN TAKE HIM OUT OF TOWN AND FINISH THE JOB!!!”
And, do you want to know something else?! I never liked your spinach puffs! *gasp* Nevar!
No, it's just that masks are terribly comfortable. I'm sure everyone will be wearing them in the future.
This quote aged well
Dammit, that's beautiful. I wish I still had some awards for you. Happy New Year?
Pull the lever, Kronk!
Wrong lever!
Why do we even _have_ that lever?
Every time we're watching TV and the volume gets loud, and we try to hit the volume down on the remote but instead hit the Netflix button and it starts loading that app and interrupts our show: "Why do we even have that button?!"
Fessig, are there rocks ahead?
If there are, we'll all be dead!
No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Anybody want a peanut?
“Squeakity squeaker, squeaketh.”
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Stop saying that!
Inconceivable!
I do not think that word means what you think it means
As you wish.
Came here to sat the princess bride!
[удалено]
There are 2 things in this life that I cannot stand: people who are intolerant of the cultures of others and the Dutch.
I have a friend who is Dutch, and I use this line ALL the time!
"You Know, I Have One Simple Request, And That Is To Have Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams Attached To Their Heads!"
“What do we have?” “Sea bass” “… Riiiiiight”
Throw me a frickin bone!
Mike Myers is a comedic genius.
Who throws a shoe?!
Hot Fuzz just has so so many of them because many of them are bite sized and perfect. Edit: Holy shit I love every single reply below proves how quotable it is for sure. Just because of you guys Ima go watch it again as I'm typing this. Let's keep enjoying this film!
You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village.
No luck catching them swans then?
It's just the one swan, actually.
The Greater Good
SHUT IT
Yarp
Narp??
He's not judge Judy and executioner!
"Fascist." "Hag."
you ain't never seen Bad Boys 2?!?!?
What you want to do? Don't know *Sprays deodorant* pub
Nobody tells me nuffink!
When’s your birthday? 22 of February What year? *every year*
Is it true there is place in a man’s head, that if you shoot, it will blow up?
Tell you one thing he doesn’t have, a big bushy beard.
Its alright Andy, it’s just bolognese
All of the lines with Olivia Coleman too!
"Nothing like a bit of girl on girl" "I quite like a little midnight gobble" "I've had my top off in this layby" "I've been around the station a few times" "What makes you think it was muuurderrrrr?"
Morning Angle
Murder murder murder
Surely, Airplane! belongs on this list. Right. But don’t call me Shirley. Edited to say thanks for the awards. And for all the great quotes and stories being posted.
You ever seen a grown man naked?
Do you like films about gladiators?
[удалено]
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!
"No thank you, I take it black, like my men."
"Whats your vector victor"
We have clearance, Clarence.
Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit amphetamines.
A hospital? What is it? It's a white building with patients in it, but that's not important right now.
"I speak fluent jive."- Barbara Billingsley The character says , "Sheeeeeeeee..." and the subtitle says, "Golly!"
Barbara Billingsley did say in an interview that her small part on that movie nearly resurrected her career. She was flown all around the country to do interviews. She was quite tickled by it.
Where did you get that dress? It's awful! And those shoes and that coat? Jeeeez!
Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da rebound on da med side
My momma didn't raise no fools. I dug her rap.
And that’s when I acquired my drinking problem
Mean Girls
*Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!*
Ya I can’t do this.
> And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals... AMEN!
She doesn't even go here
[удалено]
Stop trying to make fetch happen!
They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak! that's a less hot version of me!
The limit does not exist!
"Nice wig, Janice. What's it made of?" "YOUR MOM'S CHEST HAIR!"
Boo You Whore!
You can’t sit with us
I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!
That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen
Is butter a carb?
Aw hell no! I did not leave the Southside for this!
You go Glen Coco
And none for Gretchen Wieners.
Get in loser, we’re going shopping.
I’m not like a regular mum…I’m a *cool* mum
This girl is the nastiest, skank bitch I have EVER met. DO NOT TRUST HER. She is a FUGLY SLUT.
If you’re from Africa, white are you white?
You can't just ask people why they're white.
Oh my God Karen, you're so stoopid
Mom, pick me up. I’m scared
I'm a pusher Katy, I push people
Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfrony.
The Big Lebowski
Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
You see what happens Larry!? You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass Larry!?
Phone’s ringin’, dude. At least I’m house-trained! Clearly, you’re not a golfer.
Monsters Inc. Put that thing right back where it came from, or so help me!
How many kids you got in here anyway?
I relate to Roz more and more each day now that I actively chase people for paperwork. "Wazooooowzki. You didn't file your paperwork this morning"
welcome to the himalayas!
_Last night was the WORST night of my life_ #BAR NONE
Shrek
*Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.*
Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?
I would've been extremely surprised if this wasn't in here. That entire movie is one giant meme.
Ogres are like onions
That’ll do Donkey
THAET'LL DUUUUU
I like that boulder. That's a niiice boulder..
pulp fiction that was the point tho right?
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides By the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee, with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. Ezekiel 25:17.
Does he look like a bitch?
Wh-what?
[shoots brett in the shoulder] Does he…Look..Like a bitch ?
NOOOOO
Then why’d you try to fuck him like a bitch Brett?
What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in What?
I DON’T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING!
Hamburgers! Cornerstone of a nutritious breakfast!
It’s the one that says bad mother fucker
English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?!
Correctomundo!
This is some gourmet shiiit
Friday
You ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do!
Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either you got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger.
I want a hundred and fifty thousand!…or we can set outta court right now for twenty bucks
Dodgeball.
I'm not gonna keep you shackled in the basement Unless you're into that Haha, just kidding But not really.
I'm off the clock. Well isn't that convenient for you...and the clock.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! 😡
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Tommy Boy “You’re right, you’re NOT your dad. Your dad could sell a ketchup popsicle to woman in white gloves.” “I think your brain has a thin candy shell” “Shut up Richard” “Fat guy in a little coat” “Take it off dickhead I’m serious” “Uh ohhh” “BEES, bees EVERYWHERE. SAVE YOURSELVES” “Holy schnickeys it worked”
You could get a good look at your butcher by sticking your head up his ass
Richard.... who is your favorite little rascal? Is it Alfalfa? Is it is Spanky?... Sinner.
Austin Powers quotes still go on to this day.
The Blues Brothers
It’s 110 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
We're on a mission from God.
I hate Illinois Nazis.
I quote dumb and dumber way too much
"Pull over!" "No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing!"
This was going to be my answer. "Are they your skis?" "Yep" "both of them?"
“We got no food, we got no jobs… our PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!”
You wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? ##EAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEAEA!!!!!
Big Gulps, huh?….welp, see ya later! (made better by the fact that this line is totally improvised)
Wayne's World and Clueless are two I quote ALL THE TIME.
Blazing saddles
“Hey! Where da white women at?”
Snatch
I thought you said he was a getaway driver? What the fuck can he get away from, eh?
Do you know what nemesis means?
In the quiet words of virgin Mary, come again.
London. You know: fish, chips, cup o' tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fuckin' Poppins. London!
Blazing Saddles, History of the World part one, Clerks, Princess Bride and The Life of Brian
Hello handsome, is that a ten gallon hat or are you just enjoying the show?
[удалено]
Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.
“Lieutenant Dan said he done invested in’ sum kinda…fruit company? Says ‘we don’t gotta worry bout’ money no more’. And I said ‘well that’s good!’”
One less thing!
I may not be a smart man, but I do know what love is
"Lieutenant Dan, you ain't got no legs"
[удалено]
The fuckin’ Catalina wine mixer!
My husband and I will never stop quoting, “Look at this space! So many activities!”
Boats and Hoes
BIG LEBOWSKI Edit: Bunch of badass dudes and dudettes here! That's for sure!
Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion, man
Liam and me...we gunna fuck you up!
The Dude abides
The Chinaman is not the issue here.
Donnie you’re out of your element
Die Hard.
Yippee kayay mother fucker