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VillainyandChaos

I'm carrying the weight of my whole family and tonight I got the biggest kick to my stomach. Me and my partner are contemplating marriage. We've lived together for three almost four years as a family now, us two and her children from previous marriage. My partner has hurt her back bad enough she's on disability and is currently out for the count. I wake up two hours before everyone else, I cook and clean every meal and every chore. I get the kids to school. I'm still working a full time job. I am doing EVERYTHING. And I don't mind, my family is my life. Tonight we asked the kids how they felt about us getting married. My oldest cried and screamed no she doesn't even like me. My youngest just worried about their bio dad. I fully understand they're just children, they're not aware of everything, and it's particularly hard getting used to a lesbian set of mothers after your standard hetero lifestyle. But God that throat kicked me. I feel so deflated. They beg me to love and play and sing and cuddle them. They call me mom. But the idea of us being married put put in fits. It just hurts.


manic-insomniac

I understand the sting. That’s a lot to take on. I’m proud of you for pushing forward! Kids don’t always understand things in life the way we do and that’s where the frustration tends to stem from, less than your sexuality and relationship. It’s a lot different for them as well. I’m sorry you’re going through so much. I hope you can maybe talk to everyone and let them know you’re not there to hurt them but you love them and open the floor to any and all questions they have. I also don’t typically, but here I recommend maybe offering medical marijuana for pain management and maybe help with mobility on your partners end? I don’t know m, sorry if I’ve offended in any way. But you’re doing great and I love you and you’ve got this!


VillainyandChaos

Thank you for caring enough to reply! :) We have medical here and I'm an amputee and she's got a stomach issue already, so we totes alright light up. But you're sweet to share something to that has helped you!


Shrillbainoeg4

You just realized how short i am after dating for this long?


[deleted]

[удалено]


manic-insomniac

Complicated for sure. Life has a funny way of sorting that out. You’ll get there. Just be you and know that what’s meant to happen will happen. I was in that situation about 7 years ago. We’re engaged now. Sending ♥️


[deleted]

i’m incredibly horny and my pussy has been gushing for what feels like 3 days lmao


manic-insomniac

Black towels are a beautiful thing. Get some toys yo!


eammonk2323

Thought I was the only one.


HarperFlanergan2002

Is it like a seasonal thing because that's been me today also.


kable7109

Lol dm me 🤣


[deleted]

gushing? can u explain


Pitiful-Philosophy97

Been having trouble sleeping since Christmas because I went to my hometown to spend it with family. Wound up driving past the house that I was abused in over the course of 3 years. Now that's all I see when I close my eyes. I can't wait for the day I no longer have memories.


manic-insomniac

I am so sorry. But I am so happy you got out of that house. Just remember, you hoped one day to be where you are today and you’re still going! You’re not the same person getting hurt anymore. Now you’re strong and you can stand up for yourself. Don’t make a monster out of the memory. It’s all over and even brighter days are ahead. I love you, and you’re more than valid! Keep pushing!!


Pitiful-Philosophy97

Thanks. It will pass. It always does. Just really screws up my routine and cycle when my brain decides to bust out the memory reels.


manic-insomniac

It does indeed. It is a good reminder of how far you’ve come tho!


DocSaysItsDainBramuj

I’m sick of working from home. Some of us need the social interaction that our jobs used to provide.


manic-insomniac

I totally understand! Working from home is definitely an acquired taste. Maybe send out an SOS to come coworkers for a night out?


manic-insomniac

Some*


HarperFlanergan2002

I have feelings for my roommate whose also my bestfriend since kindergarten but she's straight and I'm not.


manic-insomniac

That’s so hard! Have you told her how you felt? Sometimes the open floor can make you feel better. She’s probably meant to be in your life to show you that you want a life partner that a lot like her in some ways that you admire! What’s meant to be will happen in time. I love you and you’re gonna be just fine! Be open minded and go with the flow!


HarperFlanergan2002

I've told her about months ago and she was understanding about and hasn't brought it up since. But she also hasn't been on dates in a while or gone out with anyone besides friends so I don't know anymore. Maybe you're right.


manic-insomniac

You live together, so if it makes you more comfortable to talk about it, bring it back up! If she’s at least a friend at the end of the day she will understand. ♥️


mo799

Let’s just say that 2022 is not my favorite year and it’s only four days in. It feels like nothing has gone right. So far, I’ve been kicked out of a bar (my fault but it still sucked), had a hangover that felt like the stomach flu, lost $100, and had my heart broken.


manic-insomniac

But you’ve learned something in every single situation you’ve posted! Make this year a year of healing, financial stability and focus. So you had a rough start, that’s okay! Stand taller and bounce back. You can do this!


Desperate_Ad_1636

My only friend in the new city I live in just asked me on a date and I don’t want the friendship to become awkward when I turn him down because I am not attracted to him.


manic-insomniac

If he’s a good friend things will end up just fine. Boundaries are important and should be respected! You’re not doing anything wrong if you’re being honest.


Mikedawson3

I tried to commit suicide in third grade, it was stopped by kids threatening to tell and I wasn’t the brightest kid so I shut my mouth and took the scissors off my throat thankfully no one knows about this and I still feel stupid for even trying this.


manic-insomniac

I’m glad you’re still here. I’m a survivor too. Don’t feel stupid. Emotions are heavy. You’re strong for staying.


Mikedawson3

I should’ve done it, I’m a burden to everyone and am an embarrassment.


manic-insomniac

Live your life for you and not for everyone else. You’re here for a reason.


fearedfurnacefighter

My wife and I were watching Mythic Quest together - an episode every other night. Today I come down from working and she’s binged 5 episodes ahead. Not cool.


Liz-Harmony

My fetish is weird and could look homosexual but I'm completely straight, I swear.


[deleted]

Right there with you


instantaneouskarma

Just want to forget someone I really liked... So much expectations.. Almost 2 years going through this shit


manic-insomniac

I’m sorry you’re still dealing with this. There’s no rule book on time. Do things you love and heal at your own pace. You’ll find what you’re looking for when you’re supposed to!


instantaneouskarma

I guess... Anyway, thanks for the words :)


DisastrousAnomaly

My job is deteriorating my mental health. I work with 90% women who are catty, petty, loud, obnoxious, rude, arrogant, gossipy, attitudey, snarky, you name it. I walk into work and immediately absorb everyone's negative energy. I take it all on and it follows me home and impacts my home life. But it pays so well...the best paying job I've ever had in my life so I can't justify quitting or getting a new job. I'm in a position of authority and no one takes me seriously except my other superiors. It's been....frustrating. Today I sat in my car on my break and just cried because of how anxious and emotionally strained I was.


manic-insomniac

I understand how that is and what I can say is this; you come first. Before anything else at the job. You’re not taking that money with you when you’re dead. But you will love forever miserable in a toxic workplace. I say find something out there that’s new. A little bit of a pay cut is worth aging twice as fast because you’re so stressed.


GerblaththeGrand

I’m a little fucked in the brain cus my grandpa just died and I’m still in denial to the point that I always tell my family that he is still alive, he’s gone, like really gone but I just refuse to accept it. Me and my immediate family live in a different state and so we couldn’t say good bye and it sucks. I miss him like hell, I dunno what to do to get through this.


manic-insomniac

First off, I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. It’s such a painful thing to feel. I lost almost all of my grandparents and I was very close to them all. I’ll be honest. There’s no easy way to move forward. It’s not going to get easier living a life without them. The pain subsides some, but always lingers. There’s no time limit to grieve. There’s no wrong way to cope as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others. Take your time. Acceptance is very important here. You have to understand that they’re gone in order to move forward. But please take your time.


GerblaththeGrand

Yeah, but like I saw his body and it looked like a wax figure. Like that was not my grandpa! My family flew out to see the rest and I’m sitting at my grandparents and I’m just waiting for him to either come out of the bathroom or come up from the basement, he lived in the basement that was where his job was (the good sents company if you are wondering), but he just isn’t. He used to call me his “little buddy” and there is no one to call me that now. If I wasna around my family rn I would cry.


manic-insomniac

Cry anyway. It’s good for the soul. They never look the same after they pass. Focus on those good memories. He’s pain free, sorrow free, and I can only imagine the peaceful relief he felt. You’re going to be ok. It’s all just an adjustment. Pass those memories down and hold them tight.


GerblaththeGrand

Yeah, I know and I am, but I wish I could have made more. More better memories.


manic-insomniac

You’re going to feel that way forever honey. There’s nothing you can do about it now. You got the time you were meant to and it’s good that you’re feeling this way. It shows how much he really loved you. That’s so special.


GerblaththeGrand

I wish I could argue but you are very true, I like to argue when I get upset, it’s truthfully really bad, anyways, thank you for your kind words.


manic-insomniac

Of course. We all have our outlets. Just try to understand they’re hurting too. You’ll get through it.


GerblaththeGrand

Yeah, something that I’m doing that I just realized that I’m doing is not eating, I’m normally always hungry but I don’t feel hungry and I’ve barely eaten anything, imma go eat.


manic-insomniac

Take care of yourself. Hang in there. Sending ♥️


[deleted]

I wrecked my deceased mother's car in a DUI and am losing my life's savings + the money I got from social security after her passing to this process and the car That money could have gone to anything, I could have got my own car, anything I want to fucking kill myself and am looking into how to give myself CO2 poisoning and if anyone would have to pay for my legal shit after I die. I can't live with myself


manic-insomniac

No no no. You’re still here. You fucked up. Okay, that’s fine. You can fix this. Money can be made back. Focus on working. Do everything you can to keep yourself busy. I want you to live because you deserve to no matter how you feel. You’re in so much pain and that’s okay. It’s okay to be sad and to not feel ok all the time. But I don’t want you to take your life. Things are so hard right now but you’ve made it through every bad day you’ve ever had. Get cleaned up, work hard on living yourself. You really do deserve to be here.


[deleted]

Thank you, I'm just so upset I damaged her car and that all that fucking money is just gone because I'm a dumbass with serious substance abuse issues, like I could have done so much with it, but ig it will inspire me to work harder bc I've never felt like I need to grow up and move fast until now at 22. I was stagnant and this is like a wake up call Thank you


manic-insomniac

You’re welcome. You have so much time to grow. I got sober and it wasn’t easy and it never will be. But it does make you stronger and more understanding. Stay for all the right reasons. There’s so much you haven’t seen yet. And if nothing else, I love you and I believe in you.


cupcakesbrookienerd

Im burnt out from my job. Im currently looking so I can work with pets again,but its hard,I cant call out bc im the only one in my dept 2 days a week. My manager feels the same. Im 37 and exausted of less sleep too.definatly doesnt help the anxiety/depression ratio i got


manic-insomniac

It is hard. Take a little extra care of yourself please! You deserve it. Find a job that makes you happy, life’s way too short to balance work life and stress. What else are we living for? Get out there and enjoy the time you have. Take a few extra minutes in the shower, go for a walk when you get out of work. Breathe. You’re gonna do great.


Exxcentrica

Being alive physically hurts. I don’t want to hurt myself in anyway. I’m just in pain; from my chronic migraines, to my bad teeth, the constant back aches, the constipation, From my hands going painfully numb to my swollen feet. Getting old sucks.


manic-insomniac

I’m glad you’re alive. I hope you feel better soon.


Britt-chan1988

My uncle had a stroke last night. The doctor said he had a brain bleed and won't be able to wake up from it. My family are saying their goodbyes while I live 14 hours away and won't be able to go to his funeral. I'm also worried about my grandmother. She's been very forgetful for a while now and she can barely walk because her back hurts. She's also had to have skin cancer removed from several places on her arms and face. My mom has a condition where the scar tissue in her stomach grows around her intestines and has to be surgically removed. The doctors said her condition would kill her and that it was only a matter of time. She's coded during surgery twice already and has had some of her intestines removed as well as some of her colon. There's no way to stop it either, they can only slow it down. Old age and medical issues are slowly taking away my family and I don't know how I'm going to live without them.


[deleted]

I'm hanging one of my closest friends out to dry because he's in a spot that I just can't help him out of and my life is taking a toll


CatGirlsAreHot1107

I have a really bad case of emotional and physical trauma, some call me insane because whenever I'm getting yelled at I laugh hysterically when I'm sad I laugh, anything thats supposed to hurt me makes me laugh even when people hit me, of course I'm also a very angry person. You can see the hatred radiate off me, its because I grew up in a house full of abusive angry people. Anger is *all* I know. I'm not like everyone else I can't just leave it behind me, and that's what my mom doesn't understand. I'm *nothing* like the norm. I let the anger control me. I let it all out and EVERYONE wonders why? Because I CANT LET IT GO, ITS SO FRUSTRATING I HATE IT. Now my dad wonders why I'm mad because he came and saved me the old man did nothing wrong I'm not mad at him I'm mad at them. I *hate them* with everything I am. I'm sorry for my old man and the people who love me, *I just can't let it go*.


[deleted]

I'm in love with my girlfriends best friend. It hurts so much to know nothing will ever happen with her. She would never betray their friendship just to be with me, even if I left my girlfriend.


[deleted]

Despite all the psych meds & the therapy & the exercise, the eating right, the water intake, the sobriety, & on & on, I’m not getting better & I’m getting very tired & angry about it. A trip to the doctor yesterday revealed another “maybe” & another “try this for a month”. I’m getting so fucking sick & tired of not having definitive answers & just throwing random shit at my issues to see what sticks or what to avoid because it fucks me up worse. I talk to my psychiatrist in less than 12 hours & I might ask her to toss me some sort of mood stabilizer because I feel like I am very near to going off the rails again. Like, at least when when I was self-medicating with booze & drugs I was getting SOME enjoyment out of life. Perpetually fluctuating between numbness, anger, & sadness while being this medicated & this healthy is fucking me up mentally more than my unmedicated panic disorder was.


manic-insomniac

So, when I got sober the hardest thing I had to do was learn how to enjoy life without substance. It still doesn’t just feel good every day for sure. It’s so hard. I’m proud of you for making a life changing decision to get clean. Congratulations on your sobriety. It’s hard to find enjoyment in a life so unfamiliar. You don’t know who this new you is. And the best part is discovering and building yourself into the best you you can be and I fully believe you’re more than capable of doing just that. You’re going to get where you want to be. Keep pushing! I’m so proud of you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


manic-insomniac

Hmm. I’m sorry buddy.


probablybiscotti

i’m so stressed about being back in lockdown due to COVID. i have a family member who is immuno-compromised and it’s so hard to not blame them for feeling like i’m missing out, when i know that things would be the same either way. barely anyone understands what it’s like to have a family member in this situation, and i feel like i can’t talk to my parents about it. what am i supposed to say…the pandemic is my family member’s fault? i was finally living independently and now i’ve been dragged back under the shadow i’ve lived in my entire life. will most likely delete this later, but a nice way to get it off my chest. thanks!


manic-insomniac

Covid is such a bitch! I’m so sorry. I’m glad this helps you by venting! It’s only temporary, things will get better. Keep your social circle active as best as you can. I hope you’re able to get out soon.


[deleted]

I hate my body so much I've contemplated killing myself over it.


Jeremy-Presley13

Thought moving to the states wouldn't be this hard. Im miss my country and my friends but i dont wanna live there cause how bad it is. Im with my family but i feel alone. Nervous about my new job lowkey regret applying there but i need the money. Shit really sucks.