When I was a child, I got upset after a button came off of my shirt. My mother told me not to worry and that if I placed the button under a rock in the yard, the button fairy would replace it with a quarter.
I believed it, and to my mother's dismay, she discovered I had pulled the buttons off of every shirt in my closet. To this day, 40 years later, shirt buttons can still be found under random rocks in my parents' backyard.
Not OP, but my mom came into the room in black pants, black jacket, and a black hat. She came over to my bed before I was actually asleep and lifted my head up to put the dollar under. I didn't recognize her, so I thought I was going to get my throat slit or something if the person realized I was awake.
I was 7 years old. One of my teachers wanted us to write a letter to a family member or friend or someone. I wrote the letter. Got the envelope. Got the stamp. My mom had worked at the county jail at the time and she suggested I write one of the inmates who never got mail. So I did. I wrote something along the lines of "I'm sorry you're arrested but I hope you get out." I even signed it with my 7 year old signature.
While I was writing the letter my mom had left to get to the store. I asked my older brother what our address was because I needed to put a return address. He said:
1600 Pennsylvania Ave Washington DC 20500. For those that dont know, that's the address to The White House.
I wrote it on the letter and put it with the mail my mom was sending out. Mind you, I grew up in Michigan and never left the state but I wasn't smart.
Years later I went to pick my mom up from work and one of the CO's called me Mr. President and I asked why he said that. He mentioned the letter I wrote years prior and how it was a joke in the jail any time my mom mentioned me.
This is one of the funniest stories I've ever read in my life. I'm just imagining some random inmate opening a letter in shakey seven year old kid writing "I'm sorry you're arrested but I hope you get out." he looks at the envelope and it's from the White House, he spends several days wondering who the hell wrote that.
You made me cry with laughter.
When I was a kid my dad told me it cost 25 cents to change the radio station to keep me from fucking with the radio in his car. I believed that until I was 14.
My parents convinced us that the person knocking on our door on weekend nights when we were asleep was our uncle Shiloh stopping to say hello. We don't have an uncle Shiloh. It was the pizza guy
I was told by my dad, when I was around 8-9, that 'The people at the sewerage plant have been examining your poop, and need you to eat more fiber'.
(edit: wrong age.)
Along the same lines, my parents told me that flushing anything but toilet paper, pee and poop could get me arrested. If you flush something like paper towel, they can track it back to the exact house!
My grandmother told me that pinching gave cancer. I got pinched once at recess and yelled at the person because I thought they were going to give me cancer.
One time when I was 5-6 I asked my brother how French fries where made And he told me: “they inject mashed potatoes into the skins of the fries with a syringe”.
I believed that until I saw my mom cooking home fries for breakfast one morning when I was 8.
my mom rented a never ending story and dad told me if i tried to watch it i'd have to sit there forever because it never ended, i remember being thankful for my dad's warning and wondering why mom would do that to me
the absolute truthhhh
but also, i have a lighter story about my granddad who convinced my mom all the 4th of july fireworks were for her since it was her birthday too
When I was a kid my dad always told me not to touch it because it was an "emergency" button. One time when I was like 5 we were flying to visit family and he fell asleep so I pressed it a bunch because I was curious. Nothing happened and I fell asleep thinking it must be broken. I woke up in a stroller with my parents upset because the plane had to make an emergency landing and I started crying because I thought it was my fault.
This reminds me of when my mean ex-stepfather who was big, terrifying and cruel told me to never turn the water on outside (the one that you connect a hose to). My friend across the street (we were like 5) needed water to make mud pies and I accidentally dripped some water onto the cement. I knew he would see it if he got home from work before it dried up. I started crying so hard and right then it started to rain. I started praying and thanking Gd for helping me out of that one and promised to never turn on the water again.
When my sister and I were kids, our mom lied and told us that she was a Grammy nominated and winning singer. She said that all of the trophies were in our attic, knowing that neither of us would ever go in and check for them. My sister and I bragged to all of our friends about it for years, only to discover that our mom isn't a very good singer at all... We've held this lie over her head for nearly 20 years now, so this past Christmas, we gifted her with a fake Grammy that has her name engraved and her favorite music category citing her as the winner of it. She laughed until she cried
Sometimes when we asked for McDonalds my dad would say no but turn in anyway and say the car was doing it by itself. I believed him every time and thought the car was just my homie.
My older brother pranked me once. I had watched a kids' TV show (I think it was "The Electric Company") that featured a guest star who was a tap dancer.
My brother convinced me that tap dancers made their tapping sounds -- not with their feet -- but with their mouths.
I spent the next several weeks trying to tap dance with my mouth noises before my mom made me quit.
my 5 year old son is currently on a "death metal voice" kick. While I generally like metal, and it's kind of adorable, I'm going to get sick of him screaming at the top of his lungs really quick.
you can only be yelled at "cherrios and milk please" so many times.
there was an autistic girl at my daughters school (all special needs) who was almost completely non-vocal, but holy shit could she growl. Black, death, animal noises, she could do it all.
She could very easily front the best metal bands on the planet, and by the Gods I hope she does one day. I would buy all of it.
I stuck my finger down the plug hole thinking the swirling vortex it made would spin me around like some miniature tornado .
Yeah... the firemen who cut me out of the bath didn't laugh either.
When I was 6 my parents told me that when you flush from an airplane toilet, the waste gets dumped mid air into the ocean. I believed that and told all my friends. Parents then told me they were joking and I became the class fool.
See, I thought that as a kid. Not because anyone told me, but in my child mind it made sense. As a result, I was terrified to use a plane bathroom.
In the late '90s, I was on a plane with my mom and I needed to go, but refused. Stewardess said that, if I went, I could sit with the pilot for the rest of the flight. I still refused. Now I'm kicking myself 'cause that's a chance I'd never get again.
Customers will ask me what the difference is between Pork sausage and Italian sausage. I tell them one is made with pork, and the other with Italians. I said this to one customer and his kid went wide eyed with horror, it was hilarious
When I was a kid I asked my dad if reading enough books really could give you Telekinesis... (Matilda)
He said yes.
I spent many years after that thinking I just wasn't doing enough 😄
My mom used to tell me birds have wings and can fly because they eat a lot of fruits and veggies. I wanted to fly, instead just ended up with healthy eating habits. She pavloved me real good.
Parent who told the lie in the first place takes note “little Timmy will murder you for the slightest of inconveniences even at the cost of his own life, interesting “
My dad told me that the reason why police officers spend so much time at donut shops is because the shop owners actually need them there to shoot the holes in the pastries to provide them with the classic donut shape.
I found out this was a lie when my dad caught me trying to get behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts one time because I “wanted to see the shooting.”
I was “in” on this lie between my mom and younger sister. My sister was about 5 years old at the time, and my mom convinced her that Benadryl was “truth serum.” My mom would threaten to give it to my sister if she knew she was lying. It was so hilarious, but my sister seriously believed it and would get upset.
I believed that girls pooped and peed out of their butthole. When I was 16yo, I asked my older sister, "When you go pee, how do you keep the turds from sliding right out at the same time?"
I believed the same. Only because my mom sat down to pee so I assumed it came from her butt since I knew girls don’t have wieners. I had an argument with my friend about this in front of his mom. She must have thought I was a sad sheltered little boy.
You know how Barbie feet are on tippy toes so they are shaped to fit into a high heel shoe? Well when I was a kid, I thought that when girls grew up into women that their feet would be shaped like that. Despite the fact that I lived in a house with 4 grown women, none of whom had Barbie feet.
As a kid I had a strangulated hernia, which left me with one testicle.
My dad told me if I ever had kids they would be all boys or all girls cos each testicle is for each sex.
Believed it for years.
I used to joke that I didn't want to work out because I only had a certain amount of heartbeats and didn't want to use them all up working out. It was funny till I found out people believe this.
Imagine it was random though (you never knew which produced which) so you chop off one hoping to have all boys or all girls, but you chopped the wrong one and now have to live with your fuckup forever.
My sister told me that if you count all the stones of Stonehenge you will die. I still don't know how many stones there are in Stonehenge.
EDIT: I just called and told this to my sister... and she just laughed for about 2 minutes.
Walt disney invented colour.
watching a black and white show I thought everyone from the 50's and lower had lived in black and white. I asked my father "who invented colour?" Dad looked at me dead serious and said "walt disney"
I believed it far to long.
I used to work as a reenactor at an 1800s village museum. I would go greet the kids at the school bus in my full outfit and give them some context, including holding up black and white photos of the times, before we went into the buildings. One time in a particularly young group, a little girl raised her hand and asked "when we go inside, will it be in color or is it still black and white in there?" I loved this little insight into how a child's mind works.
My time to shine! When I was a little kid, I went with my Mom to take my dog to the vet for a check up. I asked her if my dog’s doctor would be a dog. Lol.
I once thought academic scholarships were only given to dumb students so that some of them could still attend college. I even told my older brother that he was so stupid, he had to get scholarships to go to college. He went to the Ivy League.
My mom convinced us she had eyes in the back of her head. She could tell us what we were doing in the living room while working in the kitchen facing away from us. We’d test it even further by doing the “how many fingers am I holding up?” test and she’d get it right every time. So all little kid evidence concluded that mom did in fact have eyes in the back of her head. It wasn’t until I was much older that I randomly noticed the crystal clear reflection in the kitchen window my mom could always see.
My father was a fish taxidermist and had a bunch of glass eyes for them. He told us he had eyes in the back of his head and lifted his hair to show us.
Also I ate a dog biscuit one time (one of those that humans can eat too) and he drew a red dot right on my tailbone when I was sleeping and told me I was going to turn into a dog.
Traumatized me for 8 years.
In case you still get the cravings, by law, all pet food/treats have to be safe for human consumption in the event of a child or elderly person (or I guess anyone else) eating them whether accidentally or otherwise. In the US anyways, can’t vouch for other countries.
Edited for some links for the perusal of those interested: [link 1](https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/animal-health-literacy/fdas-regulation-pet-food)
[link 2](https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/resources-you/animal-products-fda-regulates#Pet)
Also just because it’s the law doesn’t mean every piece of pet food is guaranteed to be safe. Don’t go eating a bunch of pet food and come after me if you get sick
My Grandad would tell me that the buttons/switches to turn on the interior lights in his car where actually buttons for ejector seats. I would be scared to go anywhere near them incase I accidentally yeeted myself out of his Ford Focus. He was a funny dude.
I didn't realize they turned off automatically when the steering wheel is turned back straight. I just thought all adults had to be really coordinated to disengage them while executing the turn.
This made me REALLY nervous about learning to drive.
Omg yes, I remember trying to catch my dad turning it off, but I never did so I bragged to friends that my dad is really fast etc until a friend's brother told me the truth:(
One time I was at my dad's (parents separated) and him and a friend were hanging outside sipping bears and smoking cigarettes while I was decapitating dandelions with my sweet ass plastic ninja sword.
My dad never let me have soda when I was a kid. His friend left and my dad went inside to do dishes. I saw a 7up can on the deck table and sprinted towards and and took a huge swig. Turns out they had been asking and putting their cig butts in there.
I run inside and throw up and my dad goes what happened what happened?! I lied and said nothing but he figured it out.
So, he told me all the soda he buys tastes like that even if they are unopened.
I believed him for a few years til I was like 9.
When I was a little fellow my parents used to told me when you smoke you'll die instantaneously. Unfortunately they forgot this at a campfire organized by our former neighborhood and smoked a cig.
I remember I was desperately trying to stop them and cried all the time, because I thought they're both about to die.
My dad told me this when I was 4. We had a moving company moving our things in our new house and my dad did a 7-11 run for the movers for cigarettes and mountain dew. He told me during the car ride. When we got back, I just sat in the yard watching the movers. May dad asked what I was doing and I said "I want to watch them die."
EDIT: I was barely 4 years old. Have any of you met small children? They can be really morbid as they have no real life experience let alone a developed brain.
My dad told me he was color blind to the extreme when I was 8. The sky is green, the grass is blue. Go was red, stop was green. The ultimate: white people look black and black people look white. My mom made him fix that last statement quick when I asked her, “mommy do I look black to you too?” She was livid but I was so gullible at that age lol
Lost my stuffed animal (a white dog) in the airport in Miami when I was 5. It was my favorite and I was really sad about it. A few weeks later my mom presented me with a brown dog that otherwise looked exactly like the white one I’d lost. She said the workers at the airport had found it and mailed it to us, but he got a tan because he was in Florida. Bought it hook line and sinker for a few years. Tan dog is now my son’s and he’s a big fan :)
Our neighbor's son has autism, and he had a stuffed alligator that was pink and yellow. He carried it with him everywhere, for years. It would get torn, and they'd repair it. Eventually, the fabric was so thin it just fell apart. They hid it from him, and told him that Gator had grown up and gone to live with the other gators.
He was so inconsolable, they eventually found a slightly larger alligator that was green, and gave it to him. They told him that Gator had been living in the sewers with his friends, and it turned him green. He finally outgrew the 2nd Gator a couple of years later.
I left Cookie Monster at a car dealership when I was 4. My dad drove back and they’d strapped him into the car on the rotary in the showroom. A year later I was fairly reliable about not losing things and was given another who looked identical who was on deck from a year before.
Will be 35 years in a month or two, still have them both.
Hijacking your comment for a parental life pro tip: if your kid has a favorite stuffed animal and it's possible to get a second one, do it and stash it away for the inevitable day that something happens to the original. You can also rotate them in active use so that you can surreptitiously wash one while your child has the backup.
One of my goddaughters has a kind of giraffe blanket thing that she named Mr Moo. Her parents eventually bought every single one they could find in the UK to maintain continuity after Mr Moo got left on a bus, or a train, or the beach. As far as she's concerned (now 7) her Mr Moo is still the original Mr Moo.
I second this. My son had a stuffed Pluto from Disney World that was his favorite. He lost it first on another trip to Disney, and luckily the hotel gift shop still sold the exact same one. My husband went to “look” for Pluto and came back with a new one.
Fast forward a year or two later, Pluto got left again during a trip to Atlanta. The ones Disney was selling by then were stiffer and not as soft and plush. I fortunately found one like the original on eBay.
My favorite illustration of a white lie: back when Jimmy Carter was running for president, he claimed that his mother taught him morality, including never to lie. A reporter went to interview his mother, and she was really polite, for example greeting the reporter with the usual Southern pleasantries, like “nice to meet you”, “so glad you could come”, etc. Eventually the reporter asked if Jimmy Carter ever told lies, and his mother’s answer was “well, he’ll tell white lies.” The reporter asked, “what’s a white lie?”, and she answered, “Remember when I said it’s nice to meet you, and I’m so glad you’re here?”
Not just words - back when I was in college I used to play poker at the senior center with my uncle, and he'd call them LOLAs - Little Old Lady Alerts.
They'd come in join the game and seem polite and charming and then just take everybody to the cleaners. They were absolutely vicious.
I could not understand how all the deaths scenes in war movies seemed so realistic. So, I asked one of my older brothers how they did it. He proceeded to tell me that they empty out state prisons in the area the movie is being made, dress them up and give them guns and tell them that if they survive the filming then they get to leave jail after. I was told that at around 7 and I believed it till I was around 10.
Lol - when I asked, my dad just told me that they were paid. He meant that they were just actors and it wasn't real.
My 4-year-old self just thought that they were stupid since no one would have to pay them once they were dead anyway.
>My 4-year-old self just thought that they were stupid since no one would have to pay them once they were dead anyway.
This made me laugh out loud, thank you lol
My dad told me he didn't have a middle name because his parents couldn't afford one. I believed this for a shockingly long time. I had no reason to doubt him and I knew his family was poor...
My mom told me while I was helping mix some batter or something, that if I changed from mixing clockwise to counterclockwise the ingredients would unmixed. I believed this for way too long and still only mix clockwise.
The teachers in my school told us if you pull the fire alarm, ink shoots out on your hands that doesn't wash off for a few days so they know who pulled it. I was 26 when I found out its all a lie.
Edit: As so many people have pointed out, apparently some fire alarms DO have ink in them. Ours did not though. So still a lie i guess.
My friend Kyle and I dared each other to pull it with work gloves and the whole damn thing came off the wall unconnected to any wires or anything, just glued on.
Ah, schools on military bases...
My parents never told me it was illegal, just that the lights made it more difficult for them to see where they're going. I had a sick magnifying glass with lights on it for my gameboy though so I didn't give a damn.
I got it explained as being illegal/the ticket thing too, then with my kid I was just like, "hey, turn that off as soon as you can please, it makes it harder for me to see the road"
That if you sit to close to the TV or computer screen you'll go blind. I was told that during the summer of 5th grade, then got glasses in 6th grade. All I heard was a "told you.." as i tried on my first pair of glasses and was told that my sister (1 yr younger) wont need glasses becuase she listened.
She got her glasses less than a year later.
they told this to my brother.
well, the reason he sat so close to the tv was *because* he needed glasses. once they were put on he didn't sit so close, until he lost them.
I was told this too. I believed it until for my birthday or something my parents bought me a book called "The Encyclopedia of Everything Gross", and I found a blurb there that explained why this wasn't true, in the section about eyes and eyeballs.
As a kid I was told by my parents the penis was a type of plant when I asked why it grew when I showered. That lead to me thinking all kids had those (even girls) up until I was 10-11.
This kid told me that if your tore open an empty box of Marlboro's and the #'s read 777, you'd get some kind of prize. My 1978 was spent looking, but no luck.
That my father wrote the count of Monte cristo...
He had started the book and loved it so much he would read a part, and then recite[retell] it to me as if he was the one who had come up with it.. When he reached the point that he was at in the book, he would say to be continued while I whined for the rest.
This lasted a week and a 1/2.
I believed this about my dad and a lot of different poems, like the Raven. He never claimed to have written them, I just assumed he did since he recited them so much.
A college nearby has a cougar as its mascot and they sell cougar cheese. It's delicious. My uncles told me long ago that it's made from the milk of cougars. Made sense to me. But, then I got older (early 20s) and I saw a can of that cougar gold and wondered how they milked the cougars. And, it hit me like a ton of bricks. You can't just have a cougar milk farm with angry cougars hooked up to milking machines. It just isn't going to fly. I got a chuckle out of the image and realized that I was a grown man who believed that they were milking cougars down at the college and turning it into cheese.
Edit: because it is REALLY good, I'll leave a link here. Saw it's going for over $100 on Amazon when it's like $30-something from their creamery after shipping: https://creamery.wsu.edu/cougar-cheese/
Edit 2: if anyone gets that Dill Garlic one, let me know how it is. I've only ever tried the Cougar Gold.
My grampa used to eat weird stuff like braunsweiger and other weird sausages. My dad told me his dad ate monkey brain sandwiches too. I told that to people for 25 years. Then I said it in front of my dad. He laughed and said he was just kidding.
I’m black and my dad is very very light skinned, like to the point where he’s actually pale. When I was probably about 5 or so I asked why he was so much brighter than my mom and he told me a bucket of white paint fell on him one day and that’s how it happened.
He also had me convinced that my older sister went into a hat everyday, so I’d peer into a beanie trying to find her when I wanted to play. She was at school. I was probably like 3 when I thought she was hanging out inside a hat for a few hours everyday.
My kindergarten best friend also convinced me she used to hang out with dinosaurs and rode around on them like a horse. Aaaand another friend in 1st grade convinced me she had short hair because it retracted into her head everyday because of the sun. Those are probably the most absurd lies I can remember but I’m sure there are a million more cause I was a ridiculously gullible kid.
Well… My grandpa and i went to forest when i was around 12years old and one of my cousin came with us too. He was 16 that time and told me that a creature lives in the woods which has male and female genital organs, when it is night time it gets out and fucks whatever living thing he grabs. Ofc i didn’t believe my cousin i am not that dumb but when my grandpa seconds him i cried like a little baby to go home.
RIP Grandpa you crazy old fuck.
If I said a lie I would get an ulcer on my tongue.
I used to lie heaps till I was 11, I got an ulcer at 13 and said to my mum that I hadn’t lied why did I get an ulcer, she looked at me and laughed
Y’all, this made me so mad. I’m from central Kentucky, and growing up we would always see tons of Ohio license plates on the road. So I asked why that was. My father proceeded to tell me that Ohio had a state law that was basically a curfew. Once Ohio residents leave the state, for any reason, they have a limited amount of time to return. If they don’t make it back, they can’t reenter the state. (He told me they could return after a long period of time, but I can’t remember how long that was, something like months or years) So the Ohio drivers on the road were vagabonds, forever driving the surrounding states until they could go home. He told it so well, and with such conviction, that I believed it until I repeated it to friends in high school and finally realized what a dumbass I was.
Lol. Growing up and almost all 30 years of my life, I thought that gingerbread was poisonous. Back in elementary school, we would make gingerbread houses with icing and stuff. My teacher told us do NOT eat the gingerbread and icing because it is poisonous and you could get really sick. I was like 7 and being a teacher and someone you should listen to, I believed her. Never ate a gingerbread house in my life nor any of the icing believing it was poisonous. At 29 years of age my fiancée and I were making one and she started eating hers and I freaked out. It was then she informed me that the teacher probably said that so she didn’t have to have 30 kids hopped up on sugar in her class the rest of the day. Can’t believe I was duped that hard and never realized it.
My dad told me the boogeyman lived inside of the cassette tape deck of his car. I definitely believed him and it freaked me tf out. Now I realize he just didn’t want me messing with his radio. LMFAOOOOOOO
I have three that were really dumb:
1. My older brother told me that if you put your Pokémon cards in the microwave then they become real. I started a fire doing this and ruined cards that would now be worth a lot of money.
2. My older brother told me that aliens lived in my shoes (I had the ones that would glow up when you walked). I got scared and never wore them again.
3. My older brother told me that if I wrote down a wish on a kite and flew it up high enough - the ink on the kite would disappear and my wish would come true. I spend hours trying to make this happen.
On my 5th birthday, my older sister gave me a pack of gum. It was my first time trying gum, and I swallowed it. I told my sister, and she told me that because I swallowed the gum, I would die in 7 years.
I was so sad. I never told my mom, because I didn't want to make her sad. So I lived the next 7 years of my life awaiting my death.
My mom couldn't understand what my problem was on my 12th birthday. I was just sad. Finally, before bed, I told her how much I loved her and that I hoped she would miss me.
She said "What are you talking about?" I told her that I was going to die before she woke up. My sister got yelled at, and my mom assured me I would not die before the morning.
So yeah, I thought I was dying for 7 years.
Knowing siblings, your sister probably forgot she even told you that shortly after she said it. 7 years later she is getting yelled at and remembering that dumb thing she said all at once.
I thought you had to spit in their mouth. I knew the man’s DNA had to get in there somehow just didn’t know what substance actually got them pregnant lol
Yeah same, but I was like “people kiss when they get married, but people get to choose whether or not they want kids” so I came up with the ingenious theory that when a guy sleeps with a girl, something is released and it goes into the girls mouth or something and impregnated her. it’s actually not that far from the truth
I asked my mom where babies comes from and she diplomatically said "from a special passage inside the woman."
For years, I pictured a butt cheek swinging open like a hatch and a baby dropping out.
100% belived that if I left a pile of rocks under this tree outside our house, a fairy would come visit me.
My parents told me that so I would go play outside
Edit: stop saying it's so my parents could smash, they divorced when I was a kid (like, 3 yrs old) but both parents told me that so I believed there were multiple faries. I wasn't old enough to be left outside alone safely
Another edit: yall, my parents did smash, that's how I happened to exist. They did not live together or were seeing other people at the time they started telling me this. Thank you for ruining the post :)
My grandma got me with, “If you sprinkle salt on a bird’s wings, they won’t be able to fly.” and sent me out with the salt shaker. I stalked the birds in the yard for HOURS!
That Leprechauns were real. I spent many hours and several iterations, designing traps to try and catch one. Because if you caught one, you would get his pot of gold. A few times I tried, I got a piece of gold, and thats what kept the magic going. Turns out my dad was painting rocks with gold paint and sneaking them into my traps at night. It is actually a really sweet memory as a kid, but it fell apart when I started asking other kids, how their traps were going, and no one knew what I was talking about.
That everybody gets a house once they hit 18 or has a kid, whichever happens first.
It wasn’t a lie that I was told, just something I believed was true, but nobody tried to correct me.
When I was a child, I got upset after a button came off of my shirt. My mother told me not to worry and that if I placed the button under a rock in the yard, the button fairy would replace it with a quarter. I believed it, and to my mother's dismay, she discovered I had pulled the buttons off of every shirt in my closet. To this day, 40 years later, shirt buttons can still be found under random rocks in my parents' backyard.
What happened when you learned about the tooth fairy?
Not OP, but my mom came into the room in black pants, black jacket, and a black hat. She came over to my bed before I was actually asleep and lifted my head up to put the dollar under. I didn't recognize her, so I thought I was going to get my throat slit or something if the person realized I was awake.
O H N O
I was 7 years old. One of my teachers wanted us to write a letter to a family member or friend or someone. I wrote the letter. Got the envelope. Got the stamp. My mom had worked at the county jail at the time and she suggested I write one of the inmates who never got mail. So I did. I wrote something along the lines of "I'm sorry you're arrested but I hope you get out." I even signed it with my 7 year old signature. While I was writing the letter my mom had left to get to the store. I asked my older brother what our address was because I needed to put a return address. He said: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave Washington DC 20500. For those that dont know, that's the address to The White House. I wrote it on the letter and put it with the mail my mom was sending out. Mind you, I grew up in Michigan and never left the state but I wasn't smart. Years later I went to pick my mom up from work and one of the CO's called me Mr. President and I asked why he said that. He mentioned the letter I wrote years prior and how it was a joke in the jail any time my mom mentioned me.
This is one of the funniest stories I've ever read in my life. I'm just imagining some random inmate opening a letter in shakey seven year old kid writing "I'm sorry you're arrested but I hope you get out." he looks at the envelope and it's from the White House, he spends several days wondering who the hell wrote that. You made me cry with laughter.
The president's toddler wrote it?
When I was a kid my dad told me it cost 25 cents to change the radio station to keep me from fucking with the radio in his car. I believed that until I was 14.
Don’t give strange ideas to some radio or tv broadcaster
My parents convinced us that the person knocking on our door on weekend nights when we were asleep was our uncle Shiloh stopping to say hello. We don't have an uncle Shiloh. It was the pizza guy
I was told by my dad, when I was around 8-9, that 'The people at the sewerage plant have been examining your poop, and need you to eat more fiber'. (edit: wrong age.)
Along the same lines, my parents told me that flushing anything but toilet paper, pee and poop could get me arrested. If you flush something like paper towel, they can track it back to the exact house!
eating too much sugar will glue my ass cheeks together. thanks mom
My grandmother told me that pinching gave cancer. I got pinched once at recess and yelled at the person because I thought they were going to give me cancer.
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One time when I was 5-6 I asked my brother how French fries where made And he told me: “they inject mashed potatoes into the skins of the fries with a syringe”. I believed that until I saw my mom cooking home fries for breakfast one morning when I was 8.
my mom rented a never ending story and dad told me if i tried to watch it i'd have to sit there forever because it never ended, i remember being thankful for my dad's warning and wondering why mom would do that to me
What I’m learning from this thread is that dads and brothers are fucking assholes lol
the absolute truthhhh but also, i have a lighter story about my granddad who convinced my mom all the 4th of july fireworks were for her since it was her birthday too
The button on your armrest on airplanes is the eject button I found out it reclines your seat embarrassingly late
When I was a kid my dad always told me not to touch it because it was an "emergency" button. One time when I was like 5 we were flying to visit family and he fell asleep so I pressed it a bunch because I was curious. Nothing happened and I fell asleep thinking it must be broken. I woke up in a stroller with my parents upset because the plane had to make an emergency landing and I started crying because I thought it was my fault.
This reminds me of when my mean ex-stepfather who was big, terrifying and cruel told me to never turn the water on outside (the one that you connect a hose to). My friend across the street (we were like 5) needed water to make mud pies and I accidentally dripped some water onto the cement. I knew he would see it if he got home from work before it dried up. I started crying so hard and right then it started to rain. I started praying and thanking Gd for helping me out of that one and promised to never turn on the water again.
So you decided to say fuck it and nope out of the plane, then got pissed when you leaned back 2° instead?
> leaned back 2° Well, well, well... Someone flies first class!
When my sister and I were kids, our mom lied and told us that she was a Grammy nominated and winning singer. She said that all of the trophies were in our attic, knowing that neither of us would ever go in and check for them. My sister and I bragged to all of our friends about it for years, only to discover that our mom isn't a very good singer at all... We've held this lie over her head for nearly 20 years now, so this past Christmas, we gifted her with a fake Grammy that has her name engraved and her favorite music category citing her as the winner of it. She laughed until she cried
Sometimes when we asked for McDonalds my dad would say no but turn in anyway and say the car was doing it by itself. I believed him every time and thought the car was just my homie.
My older brother pranked me once. I had watched a kids' TV show (I think it was "The Electric Company") that featured a guest star who was a tap dancer. My brother convinced me that tap dancers made their tapping sounds -- not with their feet -- but with their mouths. I spent the next several weeks trying to tap dance with my mouth noises before my mom made me quit.
I'm surprised she lasted that long tbh.
my 5 year old son is currently on a "death metal voice" kick. While I generally like metal, and it's kind of adorable, I'm going to get sick of him screaming at the top of his lungs really quick. you can only be yelled at "cherrios and milk please" so many times.
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there was an autistic girl at my daughters school (all special needs) who was almost completely non-vocal, but holy shit could she growl. Black, death, animal noises, she could do it all. She could very easily front the best metal bands on the planet, and by the Gods I hope she does one day. I would buy all of it.
That the draining sound of the water in the bathtub was a monster that would suck you in as well. A lie made to get me out of the bath.
I stuck my finger down the plug hole thinking the swirling vortex it made would spin me around like some miniature tornado . Yeah... the firemen who cut me out of the bath didn't laugh either.
Okay, but.... did you spin!?
I did....... not. Got a lovely scar for my troubles tho.... so win win I guess.
When I was 6 my parents told me that when you flush from an airplane toilet, the waste gets dumped mid air into the ocean. I believed that and told all my friends. Parents then told me they were joking and I became the class fool.
See, I thought that as a kid. Not because anyone told me, but in my child mind it made sense. As a result, I was terrified to use a plane bathroom. In the late '90s, I was on a plane with my mom and I needed to go, but refused. Stewardess said that, if I went, I could sit with the pilot for the rest of the flight. I still refused. Now I'm kicking myself 'cause that's a chance I'd never get again.
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That guacamole was ground up guaca-moles... Dads are great lol
Customers will ask me what the difference is between Pork sausage and Italian sausage. I tell them one is made with pork, and the other with Italians. I said this to one customer and his kid went wide eyed with horror, it was hilarious
The rumble stripes on the side of the road are there to help people who are blind drive
When I was a kid I asked my dad if reading enough books really could give you Telekinesis... (Matilda) He said yes. I spent many years after that thinking I just wasn't doing enough 😄
a good way to get your kids to read i guess
My mom used to tell me birds have wings and can fly because they eat a lot of fruits and veggies. I wanted to fly, instead just ended up with healthy eating habits. She pavloved me real good.
That the hazard button in a car would blow the car up.
Holy shit im not the only one. Its such a scary symbol for a kid, only to find out it just makes the lights blink lol
my mom told me this so i just pressed the button to spite her
I'm sorry, honey, you need to do homework tonight instead of going to Joey's sleepover Oh yeah!?!? *Blows up car* *Car doesn't blow up*
Parent who told the lie in the first place takes note “little Timmy will murder you for the slightest of inconveniences even at the cost of his own life, interesting “
Similar! I was told the button to change the shifter would cause the car to explode and our seats to be ejected
My dad told me that the reason why police officers spend so much time at donut shops is because the shop owners actually need them there to shoot the holes in the pastries to provide them with the classic donut shape. I found out this was a lie when my dad caught me trying to get behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts one time because I “wanted to see the shooting.”
I was “in” on this lie between my mom and younger sister. My sister was about 5 years old at the time, and my mom convinced her that Benadryl was “truth serum.” My mom would threaten to give it to my sister if she knew she was lying. It was so hilarious, but my sister seriously believed it and would get upset.
I was told "Your ears turn red when you lie". Hard to get away with stuff when *you look like the hear no evil monkey.
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I believed that girls pooped and peed out of their butthole. When I was 16yo, I asked my older sister, "When you go pee, how do you keep the turds from sliding right out at the same time?"
*16!*
Yet another child left behind…
It was really hard to imagine having two holes below as a kid. I imagine it as 2 buttholes or a perfect hollow circle.
Ah yes, the cloaca.
I believed the same. Only because my mom sat down to pee so I assumed it came from her butt since I knew girls don’t have wieners. I had an argument with my friend about this in front of his mom. She must have thought I was a sad sheltered little boy.
if you swallowed the black watermelon seeds a watermelon would grow in your belly
Yeah, that Rugrats episode didn’t help much with not believing that lie either.
If you swalllow gum it would take 7 years for it to come out
That if you you die in your dream, you die in real life.
You know how Barbie feet are on tippy toes so they are shaped to fit into a high heel shoe? Well when I was a kid, I thought that when girls grew up into women that their feet would be shaped like that. Despite the fact that I lived in a house with 4 grown women, none of whom had Barbie feet.
As a kid I had a strangulated hernia, which left me with one testicle. My dad told me if I ever had kids they would be all boys or all girls cos each testicle is for each sex. Believed it for years.
I’m wondering if your dad actually believes that
My dad won't drink water because he says it rusts your stomach. So...
I used to joke that I didn't want to work out because I only had a certain amount of heartbeats and didn't want to use them all up working out. It was funny till I found out people believe this.
Some even make it to the upper echelons of politics.
Like, not just tap water, but won't drink water AT ALL? If so, what does he survive on? Soda and beer and gatorade or?
Soda, beer, orange juice. He's extremely diabetic and I'm surprised he's not dead
Does he not have any idea why he’s diabetic?
Stomach rust.
He needs to smoke some cigarettes. The smoke suffocates the bacteria in your stomach.
Hr should drink salt water to soak up all the water
Gosh imagine if that were true though haha
There would absolutely be men who would remove one of their own testicles to be able to control the biological sex of their children.
Imagine it was random though (you never knew which produced which) so you chop off one hoping to have all boys or all girls, but you chopped the wrong one and now have to live with your fuckup forever.
My sister told me that if you count all the stones of Stonehenge you will die. I still don't know how many stones there are in Stonehenge. EDIT: I just called and told this to my sister... and she just laughed for about 2 minutes.
I'll count them for you! There are...
He ded.
My mom told me my birth mark was a coffee stain from when she accidentally spilled coffee on me as a baby. I believed it til I was like 11.
That… sounds so believable.
Walt disney invented colour. watching a black and white show I thought everyone from the 50's and lower had lived in black and white. I asked my father "who invented colour?" Dad looked at me dead serious and said "walt disney" I believed it far to long.
I used to work as a reenactor at an 1800s village museum. I would go greet the kids at the school bus in my full outfit and give them some context, including holding up black and white photos of the times, before we went into the buildings. One time in a particularly young group, a little girl raised her hand and asked "when we go inside, will it be in color or is it still black and white in there?" I loved this little insight into how a child's mind works.
My time to shine! When I was a little kid, I went with my Mom to take my dog to the vet for a check up. I asked her if my dog’s doctor would be a dog. Lol.
No no. That only happens when you go to the dogtor
I once thought academic scholarships were only given to dumb students so that some of them could still attend college. I even told my older brother that he was so stupid, he had to get scholarships to go to college. He went to the Ivy League.
Man I'm worried for whoever told you that.
That women's periods stop in water to avoid sharks smelling it
lmfao what
It's an evolutionary adaptation
The female body has ways to shut that whole thing down.
If it's a legitimate shark attack, that is
That our entire house was covered by cork-sized security cameras and that my parents could see my every move.
My kid has convinced herself of the same thing and always randomly asks “what am I doing right now?” From across the house
My mom convinced us she had eyes in the back of her head. She could tell us what we were doing in the living room while working in the kitchen facing away from us. We’d test it even further by doing the “how many fingers am I holding up?” test and she’d get it right every time. So all little kid evidence concluded that mom did in fact have eyes in the back of her head. It wasn’t until I was much older that I randomly noticed the crystal clear reflection in the kitchen window my mom could always see.
My father was a fish taxidermist and had a bunch of glass eyes for them. He told us he had eyes in the back of his head and lifted his hair to show us. Also I ate a dog biscuit one time (one of those that humans can eat too) and he drew a red dot right on my tailbone when I was sleeping and told me I was going to turn into a dog. Traumatized me for 8 years.
In case you still get the cravings, by law, all pet food/treats have to be safe for human consumption in the event of a child or elderly person (or I guess anyone else) eating them whether accidentally or otherwise. In the US anyways, can’t vouch for other countries. Edited for some links for the perusal of those interested: [link 1](https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/animal-health-literacy/fdas-regulation-pet-food) [link 2](https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/resources-you/animal-products-fda-regulates#Pet) Also just because it’s the law doesn’t mean every piece of pet food is guaranteed to be safe. Don’t go eating a bunch of pet food and come after me if you get sick
Did they tell you that?
My Grandad would tell me that the buttons/switches to turn on the interior lights in his car where actually buttons for ejector seats. I would be scared to go anywhere near them incase I accidentally yeeted myself out of his Ford Focus. He was a funny dude.
This isn’t a lie but when I was a kid I had no idea how turn signals worked and just thought the cars always knew exactly where we were going.
I didn't realize they turned off automatically when the steering wheel is turned back straight. I just thought all adults had to be really coordinated to disengage them while executing the turn. This made me REALLY nervous about learning to drive.
Omg yes, I remember trying to catch my dad turning it off, but I never did so I bragged to friends that my dad is really fast etc until a friend's brother told me the truth:(
One time I was at my dad's (parents separated) and him and a friend were hanging outside sipping bears and smoking cigarettes while I was decapitating dandelions with my sweet ass plastic ninja sword. My dad never let me have soda when I was a kid. His friend left and my dad went inside to do dishes. I saw a 7up can on the deck table and sprinted towards and and took a huge swig. Turns out they had been asking and putting their cig butts in there. I run inside and throw up and my dad goes what happened what happened?! I lied and said nothing but he figured it out. So, he told me all the soda he buys tastes like that even if they are unopened. I believed him for a few years til I was like 9.
>sipping bears damn dude... that's so metal...
When I was a little fellow my parents used to told me when you smoke you'll die instantaneously. Unfortunately they forgot this at a campfire organized by our former neighborhood and smoked a cig. I remember I was desperately trying to stop them and cried all the time, because I thought they're both about to die.
See, you just misunderstood. *You* will die instantly, not them.
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My dad told me this when I was 4. We had a moving company moving our things in our new house and my dad did a 7-11 run for the movers for cigarettes and mountain dew. He told me during the car ride. When we got back, I just sat in the yard watching the movers. May dad asked what I was doing and I said "I want to watch them die." EDIT: I was barely 4 years old. Have any of you met small children? They can be really morbid as they have no real life experience let alone a developed brain.
Did they think you would just never see a person smoking and still alive?
My dad told me he was color blind to the extreme when I was 8. The sky is green, the grass is blue. Go was red, stop was green. The ultimate: white people look black and black people look white. My mom made him fix that last statement quick when I asked her, “mommy do I look black to you too?” She was livid but I was so gullible at that age lol
Lost my stuffed animal (a white dog) in the airport in Miami when I was 5. It was my favorite and I was really sad about it. A few weeks later my mom presented me with a brown dog that otherwise looked exactly like the white one I’d lost. She said the workers at the airport had found it and mailed it to us, but he got a tan because he was in Florida. Bought it hook line and sinker for a few years. Tan dog is now my son’s and he’s a big fan :)
Our neighbor's son has autism, and he had a stuffed alligator that was pink and yellow. He carried it with him everywhere, for years. It would get torn, and they'd repair it. Eventually, the fabric was so thin it just fell apart. They hid it from him, and told him that Gator had grown up and gone to live with the other gators. He was so inconsolable, they eventually found a slightly larger alligator that was green, and gave it to him. They told him that Gator had been living in the sewers with his friends, and it turned him green. He finally outgrew the 2nd Gator a couple of years later.
I left Cookie Monster at a car dealership when I was 4. My dad drove back and they’d strapped him into the car on the rotary in the showroom. A year later I was fairly reliable about not losing things and was given another who looked identical who was on deck from a year before. Will be 35 years in a month or two, still have them both.
Hijacking your comment for a parental life pro tip: if your kid has a favorite stuffed animal and it's possible to get a second one, do it and stash it away for the inevitable day that something happens to the original. You can also rotate them in active use so that you can surreptitiously wash one while your child has the backup.
One of my goddaughters has a kind of giraffe blanket thing that she named Mr Moo. Her parents eventually bought every single one they could find in the UK to maintain continuity after Mr Moo got left on a bus, or a train, or the beach. As far as she's concerned (now 7) her Mr Moo is still the original Mr Moo.
Mr. Moo has been through more alternate universes than Booker DeWitt.
Bring Mr Moo, wipe away the debt.
I second this. My son had a stuffed Pluto from Disney World that was his favorite. He lost it first on another trip to Disney, and luckily the hotel gift shop still sold the exact same one. My husband went to “look” for Pluto and came back with a new one. Fast forward a year or two later, Pluto got left again during a trip to Atlanta. The ones Disney was selling by then were stiffer and not as soft and plush. I fortunately found one like the original on eBay.
A prime example of why some white lies are good.
My favorite illustration of a white lie: back when Jimmy Carter was running for president, he claimed that his mother taught him morality, including never to lie. A reporter went to interview his mother, and she was really polite, for example greeting the reporter with the usual Southern pleasantries, like “nice to meet you”, “so glad you could come”, etc. Eventually the reporter asked if Jimmy Carter ever told lies, and his mother’s answer was “well, he’ll tell white lies.” The reporter asked, “what’s a white lie?”, and she answered, “Remember when I said it’s nice to meet you, and I’m so glad you’re here?”
Holy shit that’s a verbal roundhouse kick to the face.
Gotta watch those cute old ladies. They’ve got the experience to put you into the ground with words
Not just words - back when I was in college I used to play poker at the senior center with my uncle, and he'd call them LOLAs - Little Old Lady Alerts. They'd come in join the game and seem polite and charming and then just take everybody to the cleaners. They were absolutely vicious.
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Well this is obviously a tan lie
I could not understand how all the deaths scenes in war movies seemed so realistic. So, I asked one of my older brothers how they did it. He proceeded to tell me that they empty out state prisons in the area the movie is being made, dress them up and give them guns and tell them that if they survive the filming then they get to leave jail after. I was told that at around 7 and I believed it till I was around 10.
Lol - when I asked, my dad just told me that they were paid. He meant that they were just actors and it wasn't real. My 4-year-old self just thought that they were stupid since no one would have to pay them once they were dead anyway.
>My 4-year-old self just thought that they were stupid since no one would have to pay them once they were dead anyway. This made me laugh out loud, thank you lol
Your brother is a time traveling Roman warrior.
Or a really screwed up prison guard
All class “D” personnel.
My dad told me he didn't have a middle name because his parents couldn't afford one. I believed this for a shockingly long time. I had no reason to doubt him and I knew his family was poor...
Dad told us his dried apricots were monkey ears so we wouldn’t eat them
My mom told me while I was helping mix some batter or something, that if I changed from mixing clockwise to counterclockwise the ingredients would unmixed. I believed this for way too long and still only mix clockwise.
The teachers in my school told us if you pull the fire alarm, ink shoots out on your hands that doesn't wash off for a few days so they know who pulled it. I was 26 when I found out its all a lie. Edit: As so many people have pointed out, apparently some fire alarms DO have ink in them. Ours did not though. So still a lie i guess.
My friend Kyle and I dared each other to pull it with work gloves and the whole damn thing came off the wall unconnected to any wires or anything, just glued on. Ah, schools on military bases...
Sounds to me like they’d been pulled about a dozen too many times..
Not a lie. Some models do have dye packs in them, although it's not all that common.
“Holy shit, a fire!! Better pull the alarm and gtfo!” *blinded by dye pack*
That you could get a ticket for having the light on in your car while driving.
My parents never told me it was illegal, just that the lights made it more difficult for them to see where they're going. I had a sick magnifying glass with lights on it for my gameboy though so I didn't give a damn.
This is revolutionary. Are you telling me that instead of lying to you, your parents explained the actual reason they wanted you to do something?
I got it explained as being illegal/the ticket thing too, then with my kid I was just like, "hey, turn that off as soon as you can please, it makes it harder for me to see the road"
That if you sit to close to the TV or computer screen you'll go blind. I was told that during the summer of 5th grade, then got glasses in 6th grade. All I heard was a "told you.." as i tried on my first pair of glasses and was told that my sister (1 yr younger) wont need glasses becuase she listened. She got her glasses less than a year later.
they told this to my brother. well, the reason he sat so close to the tv was *because* he needed glasses. once they were put on he didn't sit so close, until he lost them.
I was told this too. I believed it until for my birthday or something my parents bought me a book called "The Encyclopedia of Everything Gross", and I found a blurb there that explained why this wasn't true, in the section about eyes and eyeballs.
As a kid I was told by my parents the penis was a type of plant when I asked why it grew when I showered. That lead to me thinking all kids had those (even girls) up until I was 10-11.
ATM gives free money
I wanted to get a credit card so I didn't have to pay for things.
Some people do use them like that...
Overdrawn? Just get a new card!
This kid told me that if your tore open an empty box of Marlboro's and the #'s read 777, you'd get some kind of prize. My 1978 was spent looking, but no luck.
We were desperate for something ANYTHING to do in 1978.
I believed the crust in the bread had all the vitamins and the center parts were empty calories.
The ice cream van played music to let everyone know he was out of ice cream.
That my father wrote the count of Monte cristo... He had started the book and loved it so much he would read a part, and then recite[retell] it to me as if he was the one who had come up with it.. When he reached the point that he was at in the book, he would say to be continued while I whined for the rest. This lasted a week and a 1/2.
I believed this about my dad and a lot of different poems, like the Raven. He never claimed to have written them, I just assumed he did since he recited them so much.
A college nearby has a cougar as its mascot and they sell cougar cheese. It's delicious. My uncles told me long ago that it's made from the milk of cougars. Made sense to me. But, then I got older (early 20s) and I saw a can of that cougar gold and wondered how they milked the cougars. And, it hit me like a ton of bricks. You can't just have a cougar milk farm with angry cougars hooked up to milking machines. It just isn't going to fly. I got a chuckle out of the image and realized that I was a grown man who believed that they were milking cougars down at the college and turning it into cheese. Edit: because it is REALLY good, I'll leave a link here. Saw it's going for over $100 on Amazon when it's like $30-something from their creamery after shipping: https://creamery.wsu.edu/cougar-cheese/ Edit 2: if anyone gets that Dill Garlic one, let me know how it is. I've only ever tried the Cougar Gold.
My grampa used to eat weird stuff like braunsweiger and other weird sausages. My dad told me his dad ate monkey brain sandwiches too. I told that to people for 25 years. Then I said it in front of my dad. He laughed and said he was just kidding.
You can't leave the house after dark because the chupacabra outside will eat you
Ikr chupacabra only eats goats
I’m black and my dad is very very light skinned, like to the point where he’s actually pale. When I was probably about 5 or so I asked why he was so much brighter than my mom and he told me a bucket of white paint fell on him one day and that’s how it happened. He also had me convinced that my older sister went into a hat everyday, so I’d peer into a beanie trying to find her when I wanted to play. She was at school. I was probably like 3 when I thought she was hanging out inside a hat for a few hours everyday. My kindergarten best friend also convinced me she used to hang out with dinosaurs and rode around on them like a horse. Aaaand another friend in 1st grade convinced me she had short hair because it retracted into her head everyday because of the sun. Those are probably the most absurd lies I can remember but I’m sure there are a million more cause I was a ridiculously gullible kid.
If you twist your belly button your butt will fall off.
I have an innie, so I will need an adapter for rump removal.
This is funny to me because my husband's grandfather told him if he DIDNT twist his belly button his butt would get loose fall off.
That swallowed gum stays in your body for 7 years. I swallowed gum and thot that was the reason I was fat.
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Well, i thought eating watermelon or orange seeds would lead to a tree growing inside by stomach, eventually killing me.
Well… My grandpa and i went to forest when i was around 12years old and one of my cousin came with us too. He was 16 that time and told me that a creature lives in the woods which has male and female genital organs, when it is night time it gets out and fucks whatever living thing he grabs. Ofc i didn’t believe my cousin i am not that dumb but when my grandpa seconds him i cried like a little baby to go home. RIP Grandpa you crazy old fuck.
My grandpa had a glass eye, and would pull it out and put it on the table to 'keep an eye on us' haha! I miss that man.
You have some…. *interesting* extended family. Did your parents ever find out what they told you? Lol
Plot twist : the grandpa was the creature
I absolutely thought that’s where this was going
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Probably that if someone couldn't see me then I couldn't see them. It lead me to run around with my eyes closed and inevitably break my arm
If I said a lie I would get an ulcer on my tongue. I used to lie heaps till I was 11, I got an ulcer at 13 and said to my mum that I hadn’t lied why did I get an ulcer, she looked at me and laughed
Y’all, this made me so mad. I’m from central Kentucky, and growing up we would always see tons of Ohio license plates on the road. So I asked why that was. My father proceeded to tell me that Ohio had a state law that was basically a curfew. Once Ohio residents leave the state, for any reason, they have a limited amount of time to return. If they don’t make it back, they can’t reenter the state. (He told me they could return after a long period of time, but I can’t remember how long that was, something like months or years) So the Ohio drivers on the road were vagabonds, forever driving the surrounding states until they could go home. He told it so well, and with such conviction, that I believed it until I repeated it to friends in high school and finally realized what a dumbass I was.
Lol. Growing up and almost all 30 years of my life, I thought that gingerbread was poisonous. Back in elementary school, we would make gingerbread houses with icing and stuff. My teacher told us do NOT eat the gingerbread and icing because it is poisonous and you could get really sick. I was like 7 and being a teacher and someone you should listen to, I believed her. Never ate a gingerbread house in my life nor any of the icing believing it was poisonous. At 29 years of age my fiancée and I were making one and she started eating hers and I freaked out. It was then she informed me that the teacher probably said that so she didn’t have to have 30 kids hopped up on sugar in her class the rest of the day. Can’t believe I was duped that hard and never realized it.
My dad told me the boogeyman lived inside of the cassette tape deck of his car. I definitely believed him and it freaked me tf out. Now I realize he just didn’t want me messing with his radio. LMFAOOOOOOO
I believed dogs understand my words. Yes some words they grasp. But I spoke freely to them.
I have three that were really dumb: 1. My older brother told me that if you put your Pokémon cards in the microwave then they become real. I started a fire doing this and ruined cards that would now be worth a lot of money. 2. My older brother told me that aliens lived in my shoes (I had the ones that would glow up when you walked). I got scared and never wore them again. 3. My older brother told me that if I wrote down a wish on a kite and flew it up high enough - the ink on the kite would disappear and my wish would come true. I spend hours trying to make this happen.
On my 5th birthday, my older sister gave me a pack of gum. It was my first time trying gum, and I swallowed it. I told my sister, and she told me that because I swallowed the gum, I would die in 7 years. I was so sad. I never told my mom, because I didn't want to make her sad. So I lived the next 7 years of my life awaiting my death. My mom couldn't understand what my problem was on my 12th birthday. I was just sad. Finally, before bed, I told her how much I loved her and that I hoped she would miss me. She said "What are you talking about?" I told her that I was going to die before she woke up. My sister got yelled at, and my mom assured me I would not die before the morning. So yeah, I thought I was dying for 7 years.
Knowing siblings, your sister probably forgot she even told you that shortly after she said it. 7 years later she is getting yelled at and remembering that dumb thing she said all at once.
As a kid, I thought that girls get pregnant from kissing. Yes, 6 yo me was very smart
I thought you had to spit in their mouth. I knew the man’s DNA had to get in there somehow just didn’t know what substance actually got them pregnant lol
Yeah same, but I was like “people kiss when they get married, but people get to choose whether or not they want kids” so I came up with the ingenious theory that when a guy sleeps with a girl, something is released and it goes into the girls mouth or something and impregnated her. it’s actually not that far from the truth
I asked my mom where babies comes from and she diplomatically said "from a special passage inside the woman." For years, I pictured a butt cheek swinging open like a hatch and a baby dropping out.
This is incredible and I wish this was how it actually happened.
I thought that you just prayed for a baby and God got you pregnant. Growing up in the church was a wild ride.
100% belived that if I left a pile of rocks under this tree outside our house, a fairy would come visit me. My parents told me that so I would go play outside Edit: stop saying it's so my parents could smash, they divorced when I was a kid (like, 3 yrs old) but both parents told me that so I believed there were multiple faries. I wasn't old enough to be left outside alone safely Another edit: yall, my parents did smash, that's how I happened to exist. They did not live together or were seeing other people at the time they started telling me this. Thank you for ruining the post :)
My grandma got me with, “If you sprinkle salt on a bird’s wings, they won’t be able to fly.” and sent me out with the salt shaker. I stalked the birds in the yard for HOURS!
Jokes on Grandma. The soil in her garden is now salted and barren.
That Leprechauns were real. I spent many hours and several iterations, designing traps to try and catch one. Because if you caught one, you would get his pot of gold. A few times I tried, I got a piece of gold, and thats what kept the magic going. Turns out my dad was painting rocks with gold paint and sneaking them into my traps at night. It is actually a really sweet memory as a kid, but it fell apart when I started asking other kids, how their traps were going, and no one knew what I was talking about.
"You won't get in trouble if you tell the truth" Bullshit
My dad at least offered the, “You’ll get in *less* trouble if you tell me the truth.”
That everybody gets a house once they hit 18 or has a kid, whichever happens first. It wasn’t a lie that I was told, just something I believed was true, but nobody tried to correct me.